Iyanla Vanzant Gives Advice To All Women | MadameNoire

Life coach Iyanla Vanzant shares her tips that all women should live by.
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Life coach Iyanla Vanzant from OWN's 'Iyanla: Fix My Life' talks about sexual abuse, the affect of absent fathers on daughters, who she would like to work with, advice she would give to women,
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MADAMENOIRE is a passionate, cutting-edge web publication geared towards African-American women. The publication's mission is to unite black women at various stages of their lives, around a common aspiration for better, more fulfilling lifestyles. MADAMENOIRE provides breaking news, an open forum for discussion and cosmopolitan advice born from the lived experiences and needs of these women of color (which includes mothers, young professionals, fashionistas and intellectuals).
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Iyanla Vanzant Gives Advice To All Women | MadameNoire

[@crystalgrose]

I need a counselor like Iyanla on a regular basis.

[@billiebillie678]

Me too! I'm searching!! :)

[@brightonheightsjavancreamh7211]

Me four

[@gildabattistella4678]

Crystal Grose q

[@learningearning8385]

I'm making it part of my daily spiritual journey to listen to her videos twice a week.

[@crystalgrose]

Stop chasing money, and start chasing vision. Wow! Profound.

[@annag467]

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

[@lovelyliser]

She is speaking from life experiences. Therefore she has confidence and speaks with conviction. Maybe you should stop looking to judge and start listening and learning from what she shares.

[@bbutler7158]

She does.

[@NeoNeoza]

i was almost violated by a male neighbour around the age of 6/7 and luckily i managed to run away but i never told anyone. my parents divorced before i was 3 years old. only met him for the first time in 2013 (After i went looking for him) and 18 months later he passed from cancer. now that i am in my thirties i realise this has impacted the way i relate to men in relationships. i either bend over backwards for aint sh*t men or i am detached and dont give a d&mn. (excuse my language).

[@MidNovembersDreamaugnov]

Neo Neoza you just described me.

[@chelabuford7106]

I pray your healing and happiness Sister.☝🏽💛🙏🏽

[@inquizative44]

This happens often when young women grow up without their biological father, to set an example on how a man is supposed to treat a woman. The biological father is a girls first boyfriend (but not intimately of course) when the father sets the example on how she is to be treated. The daughter then sets out in relationships and finds a man with the qualities of her biological father. The probability of a child being sexually abused skyrockets when a child grows up without the biological father present in the home. This dispels the false belief that fathers are not important in the black community because biological fathers are crucial in the proper upbringing of a child (boys and girls) into an adult.

[@louise-yo7kz]

I feel ya Sis

[@audineejohnson2821]

I thank God for this lady everyday. I thank God for OWN for allowing her a space to teach healing etc. What Im most great fun for is that we finally have a therapist who looks like us. Who talks like us. She is so relevant to us(AFRICAN Americans). I was tired of these old white men and white women with their great white-hope mentality. God thank you for Miss Vanzant. I love you and keep up the good work my guardian angel😘

[@umwha]

+Audinee Johnson I respect and acknowledge your feeling that her sex and race make her especially important to you, but I feel that it is not right to devalue other healers because of their race and age. Just because they are not valuable to you does not mean they are not valuable people.

[@KeishaCherre-ic2gv]

​@@umwha she is correct tho. When you have a therapist who look like you and have same life experiences along with the education and ability to help you the sessions are way better. With other races and tho they may be good. They will just "go by the book" to help you. They don't have the life experience on your level to better service you in your mental journey because they haven't been through what you been through they have to go by their studies and come up with an " idea" the therapist who looks like you ect can help you on a more deeper level. A woman Dr who has no kids can help you deliver your baby a woman Dr who has kids can help you on a deeper level because she's been there herself i hope this makes sense.

[@umwha]

@@KeishaCherre-ic2gv Same race (or any other identity marker) dosent necessarily mean they have similar life experiences or education.

[@KeishaCherre-ic2gv]

@@umwha duuh. But I said what I said. Have a good day.

[@jamaica2010ism]

She is not a therapist and she says it in alot of her talks. She is a disrupter of unhealthy patterns. She can highlight the patterns for you and disrupt them but she does not follow you through the journey in the way one would want. That is not the role in which she functions.

[@careuhmeltv2093]

it doesn't matter these days if you leave your girls with men or women. I have my own issues and it came from women first. so really you just have to watch your children.

[@11ling17]

Pretty Thick thank you for sharing this. I hope you heal or are healed. I feel for you.

[@careuhmeltv2093]

thank yu, well It seems that I ended up enjoying both women and male I am not angry at these women or men who has abused me, but I'm sure I still have much healing to do

[@11ling17]

Take care! You deserve to be loved.

[@careuhmeltv2093]

***** i will not waste my energy at being angry about stuff that happened 20 yes ago . I have definitely moved pass that point because why harbor those issues????? Do u want me to be a angry woman?? Me forgiving those ppl doesn't mean their crime is less than. Just means my heart and mind has moved on so I can be a proper adult . Of course anyone who kills. Molest. Rape. Steal. Lie to me is all bad. I've already done my tasks with my issues so to assume I didn't address those issues in my life is silly. But I'm not angry. And I won't be because I'm done with that. It's called healing.

[@careuhmeltv2093]

It's wrong for any adult to prey on any children. What does that have to do with my personal story of me not being angry with MY abusers.????? The point of counseling is to get past the hurt which is why my comment is on this video. I try not to hold on to hate in my heart. Again I'm still trynna figure out how you assumed I was ok with molesters ....seems ur looking for something u won't find here.

[@arielwest9517]

I love the fact that she speaks from expirence

[@SJawaher]

God she s my life my mentor my model thank you iyanla for all the teaching !!!!!!!!!!!!! Bless your heart

[@ojitosrodriguez114]

Conversations like these need to be had. Seriously 😔

[@cnb1243]

Stop looking for a job and look for a vision that part hit my soul.

[@bellaf7774]

To whom it may concern, i was left with my dad, uncles, big brother, big brother and his friend when I was little and I was very safe and they were loving and respectful, all of them. It wasn't till I was 28 that I was violated by a male. I guess what I'm trying to say is that all men are not creeps, but yes I will listen to this advice Iyanla is giving because she is very wise and u almost can't go wrong with her

[@kazkazzie3906]

You were very fortunate. I wasn't.

[@devinelove4217]

Yup I’ve always said that . If I had a girl I won’t leave my girl with any men .

[@annabellegardner8745]

As a woman who’s mom passed when I was young I look up to older women and especially black women like Iyanla because her wisdom, intellect and demeanor is stunning and incredible.

[@kimwright6377]

I'm one of those woman that don't believe in leaving girl children with men.Ive noticed that many women don't even think about that.Ive been looked at crazy when I've said it.

[@clairesmith314]

hysteria

[@heruapocalypse2021]

Kim Wright You're Villifing Men.In that Case no more sex for You then.

[@MrThekidisback]

Kim Wright why would you leave boy children with men then?

[@kyishabonner5445]

Sometimes you can't leave a daughter with Father too, can be his side of the family or him. Sad but true I love her good advice.

[@WanderingSoothsayer]

You’ve got to be kidding me. This is the MOST disgusting comment I’ve ever read on KZbin.

[@louise-yo7kz]

Truth@Kyisha

[@nubian77]

@@WanderingSoothsayer ITS THE TRUTH

[@sofondadavis1311]

Not just your daughters but with perverts you better not leave your sons either

[@ReallifewithT]

I love and respect this woman to the fulliest she speaks volumes !

[@shellyortiz1977]

Such a wise women my respect to her..

[@louismicheal7057]

Hello Shelly, How are you doing? You’re so beautiful

[@shellyortiz1977]

@@louismicheal7057 thanks for the compliment

[@louismicheal7057]

@@shellyortiz1977 you’re welcome

[@louismicheal7057]

@@shellyortiz1977 where are you from?

[@sharijimmy3675]

She Such an amazing woman She helped me a lot

[@MR-gc7uu]

We are so blessed to have her on this planet

[@irie888]

RIGHT same things my grandmother say!!!

[@klomax7089]

I just love my teacher! Thankyou Mama Iyanla for helping us to fix our lives all these years 🙏🏾🥰🙏🏾

[@nikkigregorovic7671]

Iyanla is so wonderful! Thank you for all the wisdom you share.

[@jeanettesdaughter]

Glad I had a good mother. Glad for tough life lessons learned. Glad for high esteem, intelligence and compassion for self and others. Glad I learned to reject peer pressure very early in life. Glad I don't make a living off the fears, flaws and failures of others. Glad I like being Black and of African descent, and completely lacking in envy of other peoples' stuff. Glad to be grateful to God for everything good. Unpimpable Black woman. Unpimpable!

[@taylorfausett177]

Her advice is so powerful. I wish I would have heard this and really gotten this when I was young. I put up with so much BS from men my whole life and now I understand the game that men ran on me. I was responsible as well. I had a big part because I had no self worth. I did NOT know myself. Buy I do now, finally. I have gained wisdom and I don't put up with any nonsense. I also don't give any kind of drama. I had to learn how to do that, too. I cut them loose fast. I couldn't do that when I was young. One benefit of getting older I suppose.

[@1000shoeswoman]

i heard my sister tell my mother of the abuser a family member that abused me also i said nothing i was in shock my mum blame my sister we were 9&10 i didn't speak out until i was 43yrs later to my other sister that wasn't abused never to my sister to this day about it we just don't talk about it

[@Liveonpoint99]

After all these years, I still need to hear this! Thank you Goddess Iyanla Vanzant!!!

[@gracehaney2281]

I have read your books I learn so many positive ways of being so thank you Illiana Vanzant

[@livydavids4156]

Yes yes yes I agree 100% with you. Getting clear on your likes and dislikes at an early age and don't do what doesn't give you pleasure. If children know better sooner they'll do better sooner.

[@BriaBarrows]

She’s so brilliant

[@privateequityguy]

*9 Simple Self Improvement Principles For Strong Women* 1. Drink more water 2. Eat whole foods 3. Practice daily gratitude 4. Pick up a book 5. Listen to a TED Talk 6. Forgive someone 7. Join a group of supportive individuals 8. Stop nailbiting/nailpicking habit for good (if you do it - consider stopping it as it makes you mentally weak + affects your confidence and all other areas of your life!) 9. Congratulate yourself for this growth Take it easy and I hope you found one thing helpful in this list. If you did, what was it?

[@sabrinaladynesbitt1947]

Life Coach your the REINFORCER of two Great Women who taught me to DREAM. Seem they handed you the Barton to keep me in the RACE. I MUST FINISH STRONG FOR WHEN I CARED LESS THEY NEVER STOP CARING. That was EXACTLY WHAT IMPACTED MY LIFE. Forever Eternally Grateful and this my DECLARATION TO GOD. I won’t EVER FORGET nor BREAK A PROMISE TO GOD. I don’t pull my chair up to anybody’s table and eat FREE. Health comes from being fed Naturally & Spiritually. Yet the Natural will never Supersede the Spiritual. May our Creator see beyond all that has been given for others to Thrive & Survive and may he do for you what he is known to DO AT IT’S BEST BLESS. Be it your PORTION. Lady’s Life has been IMPACTED LIFE-COACH. Blessings

[@louise-yo7kz]

"I don't leave girls with men." A work colleague said the same to me. A caucasian. Every community knows or at least should know about that precaution.

[@BubbleLush16]

Shes so inspirational love her!

[@SublimeThinker]

I don't leave girls with men 👍👍👍👍

[@shenyce-amerie]

UH, this woman! Loveee

[@latoyadpayne2003]

I really appreciate this. I think more women should hear this.

[@themukisa11]

Love this woman!

[@ghanaempressajourneyhome4266]

Yep makes sense

[@HSassyk2]

Speak truth my lady!

[@truehou]

Wow, 6 out of 10!?! That's sad. It's crazy because almost every woman I've dated had been molested before. One was molested by an uncle and the girlfriend of another uncle. She was extremely difficult to deal with...

[@philanimthobisihadebe5574]

I'm not even Christian, but she gives the best advise

[@Lov3lychriz]

That's why I'm scared to have a girl that would be my policy don't leave them with men idc who they are

[@itahhange2298]

Thank you very much this is powerful message loaded with lots of facts

[@michahenriquez5196]

She great

[@sunshinehaydeeify]

Very wise words for us women Thank you!

[@GetTheGrandFunkOut]

A-A-A-*A*-A-Amen!

[@closetoexplosion9578]

WOW!!! SHE IS GOOD!

[@SlindeleSizolDee]

Preach Iyanla peach love this women

[@iamhope8556]

God! Powerful

[@rc7164]

I'lm one of these 6, by known people.

[@cokobutterfly]

I hear you, I wrote a book about my process of overcoming! Author Sandra "Searching for Sandra"! Black girls matter also!

[@irie888]

that's real. 💯

[@cherylross4040]

Thaat was powerful.

[@sherryboyd3480]

🙌🏼

[@tooscorpiio]

5:00

[@ShanikaB]

What happens when you tell, and nothing happens...nothing.

[@dance4life1208]

yea my daughter will never be around any man if i have a kid

[@DeDovely]

+dance4life1208 hahahaha. Yes only men violate children.

[@DeDovely]

***** and where do you get that data from? Keep lying to yourself that men are evil lol

[@tj67tj]

And Thank Yah, you don't have kids.

[@heruapocalypse2021]

dance4life1208 Don't have Sex then.

[@wendycottingham9770]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@lionesslamb7049]

💝.

[@jamaica2010ism]

More so now a days, the sexual abuse is not just by men but women also.

[@natachaunelus]

what are the stats for boys that are victims? just curious since i have a little boy

[@ahmednazmy5085]

joust

[@knucklehoagies]

"I dont leave girls with men" is baloney. That suggests that molestations are common when they actually aren't. This is bad advice and can actually negatively effect relationships with otherwise good people, especially family members. I'm a man and I have babysat my nieces all the time and not once have I ever had the inkling of sexually abusing them.... and I know damn well im not a rarity.

[@thetruehustler1365]

They ARE common. Did you not hear the stats? That’s just reported. You have NO IDEA how common this shit is

[@knucklehoagies]

@@thetruehustler1365 just cause somebody says its common doesn't automatically mean it is.

[@nubian77]

Are you intentionally ignoring statistics/data that exist or are you trying to be funny? I encourage you to actually do research and not pull information out of your a$$, just because it makes you feel better. Fact: m0lestation is EXTREMELY common, people are crippled by shame so they do not discuss it. Current statistics don't even fully represent the reality, due to people's shame, and people like YOU who invalidate those experiences. Men like you like to say "not all men", because you think you are the exception.. but you're ignoring the fact that many others do commit these digsusting, egregious and demonic acts on their family members.. Don't take my word for it, do your googles!

[@nubian77]

@@knucklehoagies you are part of the problem with your denial.. but you can be part of the solution by enlightening yourself with the TRUTH.. Go & ask the women in your family if something has ever happened to them, and watch yourself be SHOCKED.

[@brokecreole]

this is hilarious