Jake and Amir: Fish Scroll

Hey, Jake and Amir here... Watch us react to our episodes over at / ja

[@R3DSeries]

"You wizard, you warlock."

[@TylerDurdenIsRad]

Best part

[@jesusthroughmary]

All time great J&A line.

[@Strummie]

JeaIous A-spooghett! Oops! Cigarette... juice.

[@rickywilliams1586]

Amir multiclassing I see.

[@bradleyallan1022]

My girlfriend and I still say this regularly

[@popwwy]

You know AI had gotten smart enough to kill us all when KZbin auto-generated captions effortlessly recognize the phrase "crustacean drool cube".

[@isaacelite]

Just checked, and unfortunately humanity will be shortly ending. Bow to our robot overlords.

[@dixiecronin7791]

Nah, it still doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're," so we're safe for at least a little longer.

[@Vermilionaire]

Why wouldn’t it? It’s a perfectly normal name like Paul, Janet, Stanson…

[@whatwhat244]

It also says Jake Namir in the beginning

[@jesusthroughmary]

"You wizard. You warlock." - all time great J&A line

[@ferrosplice8460]

Remember

[@megharoni]

Jake can't even stop himself from smiling anymore.

[@zackzaktm2758]

I always took his smiling to be planned disbelief/rage. I actually never considered that he just couldn't help laughing. Bummer!

[@-Offstar]

It's what happens when you enjoy what you do and your working with Amir and the character he plays he has a lot of funny material that it's hard to not laugh at at times.

[@scottboyd7586]

I agree... And quite frankly, it's becoming a problem. Haha, nah. Jk

[@Spiiiderrr]

Zack ZakTM I didn't notice jake's laughing too, but once you've seen some outtakes, you notice he is almost laughing in every scene in all the videos, which makes them kind of more fun to watch

[@dexterous187]

It's more like a shit eating grin

[@jasonkelly1692]

"You're absolutely free-styling." *amir flips over the scroll to reveal the text" "You wizard. You warlock" Best lines in Jake and Amir. Ever.

[@kwameblankson6803]

The hot box scroll is my fav

[@conordrake2986]

***** agreed, absolutely killed me

[@bunnyfaceperson123]

u sorcerer, u witch doctor. u put some sort of hex on me

[@seanutter428]

and that it was signed Rodrigo Oii

[@thisisnotthetimeorplacehow1609]

It was definitely the lowest hanging fruit of this sketch

[@cl9282]

"I mispoke, you just said crustacean drool cube on purpose"

[@michaelramsey82]

Maybe it's because it's 3:36 AM, but this is the funniest line I've ever heard.

[@virg0_lem0nade]

still one of my favorite lines years later 😂😂😂 fuck

[@HIKAJO]

I read your comment the moment said that line

[@ImSquiggs]

Crustacean Drool Cube, new band name I said it first no stealing

[@1Peasant]

back to the list

[@steveniccolai4472]

I think one of the most underrated lines in j&a is "Gosling is on a strict no fish diet. You know it, I know it, the American people know it." It cracks me up every time.

[@Chameleon_daddi]

It's the reason this is my favorite scroll skit

[@shawhawthorne2895]

Steve Niccolai then why is he on the list! lol love these

[@brendontompa-clinch2306]

Samee

[@schuesslerlauren]

"You think Gosling eats fried fish?! You fucking idiot! He's an Adonis!"

[@counturblessings1179]

Its up there with "facebook just became myspace"

[@matthewkagan6921]

I love how they sometimes imply that Amir has powers.

[@Bestovius]

Lmaoo

[@Syrange13]

Amir slowly and silently rolling up the scroll with a pencil sticking out of his throat followed by "I do fear that I'm actually going to die" is one of the best comedic performances of our time.

[@RatedMforMeenie]

10. Penguin 9. Sashimi 8. Catfish 7. Kevin Bacon 6. Halibut 5. Ryan Gosling doesn't eat fried fish, but also maybe Lox 4. Bass 3. Haddock 2. Tuna 1. Pencil

[@fyukfy2366]

9 is also getting a fillet o fish

[@Treegrower]

Two: nah. Tuna!

[@theramo0]

10. A fightless turd

[@iliekgaems2626]

you literally stole my comment

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Number one wasn't even anything. So you just put pencil

[@legoindy111]

#8. Fill your plate. When this fat fish died, we ate catfish, fried. But don't let this mustation fool you. This fish is all woman, and a crustacean drool cube.

[@arjoonsrikanth1914]

Mustachian*

[@pityisz]

Can someone explain the drool cube joke like im 5?

[@randid7978]

De Petris István No reference, he literally just needed some words to sort of sound like “fool you”, which is the icing on the train wreck cake that was that sentence, that list, this scroll habit, his life

[@phil6057]

I love all the times in this series when Amir gets offended by Jakes comment and goes "Excuse? "

[@meepzer]

It's happened three times.

[@meepzer]

Never mind, I'm wrong. The Jake and Amir scripts appear to have lied to me...

[@RVCIpodHelp]

phil6057 no really excuse you

[@Ninjujitsu]

Stop saying that. Okay, I've asked you.

[@katcauldron6949]

"Rodrigo O~" That's how I introduce myself now... I don't have a lot of new friends.

[@AndrewPonti]

I do that too :D that part gets me every time!

[@keerthan4081]

Please tell me the episode where Jake will see this name on amir's phone to be pound pound 6969

[@ARIS-Komuniszt]

This is hands-down the best line of this video

[@astronautrocks]

Why O why

[@trickyricketts]

I’d be your friend, RodrigoOoo.

[@tori9654]

Oh. My. Cod. Look at. That. Cut.

[@AndrewPonti]

This is HALIBUT! I sing this all the time and end up getting everyone else to sing it :D

[@BradyAus]

Oh. My. Cod. I like halibut. (hugh)

[@InternetStranger476]

excuse

[@Thomas-hh2yu]

I just love the beginning when Amir is so calm while blocking the projectiles with his scroll

[@tobyphillips4312]

Jake and Amir is the best thing on College Humor and has been since they started making them. Anyone who disagrees is wrong. And I mean wrong. None of this 'everyone is entitled to their opinion' bull crap. No. You're wrong! WRONG, I SAY!

[@mariabrown6926]

Yesssss TODAH

[@Fliptheonly]

You're*

[@davidphillips7927]

Give my last name back, toby.

[@onepunchmanlookslikejohnny4089]

you mean you're wrong and yes you are wrong

[@MrOverSuper]

your

[@Ashutoshlakra]

"i do fear that i am actually going to die"

[@zyaicob]

My favorite fish

[@pyrosaitanl6107]

"you wizard, you warlock" shit lost, fuck me dead why is this shit so funny

[@devinblack20]

My all time favorite Jake and Amir episode ever... Seen this dozens of times

[@nilek198]

The time it took him to roll up that scroll has me dead

[@emilyjoy6972]

Him too by the looks of it

[@nilek198]

@@emilyjoy6972 you probably didn’t think i would reply but I’m so pathetically watching J&A sketches 4 years later 😂

[@Beaudunk]

*#7 A Bacon named Kevin*

[@lorhendo5048]

Beau Duncan i absolutely lost it when he said that !

[@blushingfrieza]

Number 2. Nah

[@TimmyMcGowan]

#5 an Owen named Clive

[@isaacgartzman7523]

“Fried fish is a feast And now I’m deceased” Could be the last line of a Shakespearean play, beautiful

[@phantom-.]

"This fish is all woman... and a crustacean... drool cube."

[@spodybanjack8800]

I love how for the entire video he was just staring at the words 'this pencil is no fun' Edit: It has been brought to my attention that this is not, in fact, the case. I officially retract this statement. I am ashamed to have allowed this accidental untruth to sully the comments section of my favourite Jake and Amir. I hope you all can find it in your heart to forgive me.

[@Bigchungus9182]

Spandan Banerjee not really, you could see the script taped on the scroll in the beginning of the video

[@michaelholtz599]

Jimmy Saunders Shhhhhhh. He was staring at "this pencil is no fun"

[@schuesslerlauren]

Apologize for nothing... Bad mistake? Nah. Bad you

[@trogwillow3805]

I liked this when I read the edit. Social epistemologists of the internet can sleep better know that @Spandan Banjergee is doing their bit - thank you.

[@Strummie]

I mean, I love how that’s supposed to be implied though.

[@sfbuck415]

It's not hard to imagine someone like Amir has magical powers. It's harder to imagine someone like him could survive without divine intervention on an hourly basis or more often sometimes.

[@josepicanta5774]

Out of all the Jake and Amir episodes I've watched (which is all of them, repeatedly) "Crustacean drool cube" will forever randomly stick out in my head. So baller; I'm crying tears of soy right now.

[@kylehankin6770]

You wizard...you warlock.

[@iliekgaems2626]

10; penguin 9:Fillet o'fish 8: Crustacean drool cube (catfish) 7: Kevin Bacon 6: not fried halibut 5. Locks 4.Bass 3.Haddock 2.Twona ( forget that neck pain) 1.a Soliloquy

[@Bestovius]

beautiful

[@DoseofZest]

Lox*

[@iliekgaems2626]

@@DoseofZest i spelled soliloquy correct and lox incorrect. i am amir.

[@Skiloose]

Amir's big hearty smile after Jake repeats "P.U. poo" back to him is such an underrated moment in this episode

[@feroro9920]

Crustacean drool cube

[@Strummie]

It’s kind of sad to think that Amir gave up on a list and just wrote that because he knew no matter what the scroll said, Jake would just end up throwing a pencil at him. It’s like some weird, twisted call for help.

[@dj12dj12a93]

You wizard, you warlock.

[@ThePrimalEarth]

Crustacean drool cube is somehow the funniest line college humor has ever written.

[@MasterSquirrel993]

Rodrigo _“Oh!”_ is probably my favorite scroll name of all time xD

[@sammywoose]

Jake is normally close to laughing, but he's so obviously enjoying it in this video, it somehow made it funnier XD

[@tiamta]

One of the best Jake and Amir's ever. Hands down.

[@Mrclassy46]

please post the 10 minute outtakes of this episode :D

[@Arskite]

YES

[@mamu851]

How do you know there was outtakes? This is one take Jake we're dealing with here.

[@emmablowguns]

mamu851 more like ten take jake irl haahaha :P

[@Spiiiderrr]

No matter how many takes it took, saying crustacean droolcube on camera without laughing is an admirable feet

[@mamu851]

***** Thanks Mr. Literal.

[@wickedamoeba8719]

Everyone needs a friend like Jake. No matter how pissed he gets he still listens, engages, and cares about Amir.

[@dynaboyjl.4220]

1. This Pencil's no fun. :( -Rodrigo O!

[@RebornLegacy]

Fuck the haters! I love this god damn series. It keeps me subscribed to this channel.

[@JustMiggie]

Lol that guy removed our comments lol

[@RebornLegacy]

themightyhastro HE'S BEEN HURT REAL BAD IN THA BOOTY!

[@JustMiggie]

He has been hurt in the booty lol

[@iamawesomelessness]

Cannot be any more true

[@RebornLegacy]

asspounderify ?

[@MrGgBaller187]

"You wizard, you warlock" lmaooooooooo

[@wahatda8944]

I love how we just accept Amir and Cherry Dude have magical powers.

[@josh_wah]

he was trying so hard not to laugh when Amir did that hand motion

[@michaelramsey82]

My favorite Jake & Amir quote ever: "I misspoke, you just said crustacean drool cube on purpose."

[@lordhippopie9528]

This and the Fourth of July scroll are so incredibly funny.

[@zama422]

I still use the phrase “crustacean drool cube” to this day.

[@angusroebuck6764]

I'm not always the biggest fan of Jake and Amir, but can honestly say I was laughing out loud at that episode. Great work guys hahaha.

[@Ehecod]

As a long-time fan of J&A, I can say that the recent episodes haven't been that great but this one was gold.

[@ffsf739]

The best of the scroll series!

[@TriforceTK]

"God I hate your fingers"

[@marinarabandit]

I like how often they just cut back to Jake just starting without him saying anything in this one. The raw power of that image.

[@th3on3thatb3atu]

You wizard... You warlock I'm dying someone help

[@jpodftw]

Jake's "you wizard, you warlock" is my ringtone 😂

[@lipton112]

*Global Wolf* has been providing Amir his scrolls this whole time. *Subtle*

[@grahamiii]

And not illegal... That old bastard.

[@terrymadill]

Graham He's such a nuisance.

[@Arisat0]

Hello paladin

[@lipton112]

Well met.

[@EternalxWar]

Rokkar Channel Rexxar Versus Uther! "Let The Hunt Begin." "l will fight with honour." "Well met." "Greetings, traveller," Don't worry, l got you.

[@scottwhiting254]

At 3:01 Jake was so close to breaking character

[@DingoTheDemon]

This was probably the funniest Jake and Amir I've seen in a long time.

[@mattarmanasco2971]

This was easily the best new jake and Amir episode.

[@sarahhanson5864]

Amir putting Kevin Bacon on the Top 10 Fish To Fry list lines up with him thinking anything that’s not a bird is a fish

[@TK_Randell]

This is the BEST scroll video because there is only 1 fried fish option on the Top 10 Fish to Fry.

[@zohair4032]

"U wizard, u warlock." 😂

[@colettevillagecenter3477]

I really loved this... The pencil in the neck was hilarious.

[@WillzThaTube]

Please never stop doing Jake and Amir skits!!! I literally had to hold my laughs in at work watching this one. Lol bravo guys.

[@EyesofWrath]

The angrier Jake gets, the happier I get.

[@Ndo01]

The chain of events is super unexpected which makes it one of the funniest eps in a while.

[@thedick009]

So if the whole list was actually written before Amir got the pencil in his neck, that means Number 3 legitimately was just "Haddock"

[@ball8kiwi]

I've been watching these since freshman year in high school and now I'm about to graduate college and you guys are still funny as ever. Love the podcast too! Heh.

[@jonas3333]

What's great about this episode is, it hits funny at least 3 times. 1. The "Excuse?" bit. Pulled off perfectly. 2. The "I hate your fingers." part. Jake was clearly losing it after saying that, but let's face it, Amir's fingers have to be the weirdest ones I've ever seen and I don't even know why. 3. The "You Wizard; you Warlock!" finisher. Great joke. Well done.

[@s.o.k.1393]

One of my favorites, I've seen this at least 30 times

[@shannonschool]

This series has literally been my life for about 3 years now. Thank you guys so much! NEVER STOP MAKING THESE!!!

[@meagan4545]

Out of the hundreds of jake and amir episodes that I've seen, this very well may be my favorite.

[@virg0_lem0nade]

“fried fish is a feast. and now im deceased” i want that shit on my tombstone lmfao

[@Comraderob1]

Anyone see the new Jake and Amir yet?

[@THE-BIG-JP-REILS]

Recycling old lists

[@devinedevil7186]

It was good

[@krinklechris]

My favorite J&A episode - the pacing, the conflict; every individual line stands great on its own as well as working well alongside each other. Memorable, entertaining, and engaging.

[@ChrizzeeB]

Let my last words by these: "Fried fish is a feast; and now I'm deceased". respect.

[@dkingofkingz]

Every episode is funny and gets some smiles out of me, but this episode had me laughing the most I can recently remember. Great job J&A.

[@spamreciever4208]

Jake and Amir hold this channel together like Zero Punctuation holds together the escapist.

[@adiadiy]

"It's a fortunate coincedence" I LOL'd

[@PremierRikLatyeskov]

"How are you getting dumber?" I'm coughing laughing lol!

[@pretzels3273]

At 3:56 you can see where they taped the script to the scroll

[@SultenZone]

Say what you want, I love whenever he pulls out a list.

[@justinbayless8284]

I like how he glued the script on the scroll.

[@CrazyCatMan13]

This is one of my favorite episodes

[@WonkaSweet]

I fucking lost it at "You Wizard"

[@grahamiii]

Jake and Amir are the best. If anyone is a fan and hasn't heard about their podcast check it out. Its called If I Were You It's real, trill and a little bit coy.

[@Ehecod]

It's very coy, and a little bit average.

[@MixoZ]

Who else thinks this is one of the best yet?? + Jake looked on the edge of laughing a couple of times haha

[@JacobDejarnett]

"You wizard, you warlock." I played that five times I don't know why that was so funny to me but it KILLED ME.

[@havingteawiththedevil]

You people may not think Jake and amir is funny anymore, but just their little banters going back and fourth with each other is enough to keep me laughing forever.

[@danielburnett6817]

Im so glad they keep making these. College humor is bloody fantastic.

[@lolstormzify]

in tears over the last few of these

[@paulito5391]

This episode still has me dying to this day.

[@jimjones1049]

they jumped the frickin carp on this one

[@Hollameyah899]

2:46 I just like how Amir speaks about Ryan Gosling like he’s his personal agent. I was enthralled and appalled by the dedication.

[@snorlaxgender]

Amir saying "never matter" just like Doobs does warms my heart of cold

[@inconsolablepeasant1548]

This is the best one in a while. Despite all the hate Jake and Amir gets, I love it, it's the reason I am still subscribed to CollegeHumor. Although they have come out with some good videos lately. Keep it up Jake and Amir!

[@jackkingsby116]

They are without a doubt the best comedy duo on KZbin

[@swi58ch]

this is not just the best thing on college humour, but one of the funniest series I have ever seen

[@bplcrew1525]

You Wizard, You Warlock... *crying*

[@spamreciever4208]

"It's a fortunate coincidence."

[@wedontevenknow27]

I feel like jake is just trying to hold back laughter in every shoot

[@dusk565]

My big piranha don't want naan unless you fry that bun. Oh my cod, look at that cut. Oh my cod, I like halibut.

[@olliemellor]

Please never stop making these, best KZbin comedy series

[@haydenmacfarlane7194]

It makes girls sad, squirrels mad, and men grin

[@chrisluongo267]

Look no further than the almighty... penguin