Reacting to Homophobic Parents

[@Jammidodger]

Thanks for watching! Preorder the paperback here: lnk.to/jamierainesthetinlgbt Get tour tickets here: www.waterstones.com/events/search/birmingham-high-stre//term//author/5943662

[@DeskaFolf]

I'm going to buy your book with some of the money I got for my 18th birthday a few days ago! :D

[@2a2777f2g]

Is there going to be an audiobook for people abroad? Like, very abroad? ❤ The shipping will probably cost more than the book itself😢

[@patrickghenry100]

So ... Let me see if I got this "straight" ... No pun intended "... You're saying that parents are trying to... "Cure your gay ness" ... No not really... If my child were a "kleptomaniac" ... something the creator of all things says was wrong .. IE; "a sin against said Creator" and as a Parent who has, lived longer, experienced the consequences of going against the rules/laws of the Creator and said parents loved and cared about the child and they're future. Knowing that the child is on a road of destruction..." Would it be wrong for the parents to lovingly warn the child that the klefto live style is ultimately going to bring them punishment from the One that created both everyone and every Law of our universe literally runs smoothly on and that brings life or death? In the commandments/laws/rules God relays to us He has a GOOD reason for them. ("Thou shalt Not Steal") Has many connotations connected to it and it's for everyone's GOOD. Same is true for all of God's Rules.. and if I Really love my children I would teach them this truth and as many other truths as I possibly could so they could prosper in life as well as those around them. Oh yeah and BTW.. Honor your father and your mother is amongst the many laws/rules God created for Good reason. Are you teaching for this...or ..are you teaching against it?

[@patrickghenry100]

So ... Let me see if I got this "straight" ... No pun intended "... You're saying that parents are trying to... "Cure your gay ness" ... No not really... If my child were a "kleptomaniac" ... something the creator of all things says was wrong .. IE; "a sin against said Creator" and as a Parent who has, lived longer, experienced the consequences of going against the rules/laws of the Creator and said parents loved and cared about the child and they're future. Knowing that the child is on a road of destruction..." Would it be wrong for the parents to lovingly warn the child that the klefto live style is ultimately going to bring them punishment from the One that created both everyone and every Law of our universe literally runs smoothly on and that brings life or death? In the commandments/laws/rules God relays to us He has a GOOD reason for them. ("Thou shalt Not Steal") Has many connotations connected to it and it's for everyone's GOOD. Same is true for all of God's Rules.. and if I Really love my children I would teach them this truth and as many other truths as I possibly could so they could prosper in life as well as those around them. Oh yeah and BTW.. Honor your father and your mother is amongst the many laws/rules God created for Good reason. Are you teaching for this...or ..are you teaching against it?

[@xXAnthony619Xx]

I need you to pretty please react to Elon's terrifying interview with Jordan Peterson about his child transitioning.

[@spenceduggs]

As someone who was sent to a Mormon bishop to "pray away sinful thoughts" as a queer teen, I'm proud to say that I'm now free of that horrible burden on my heart as an adult! I'm no longer Mormon! 😃

[@_Unoffical_Norahhh_]

Hell yeah! Congratulations!

[@pipi-caca]

I still have to wait 5/6 years to leave 🫡

[@Stormyyyy...]

@@pipi-caca good luck..

[@dawn8293]

Congrats! I'm ex-Mormon, too! I'm so sorry that you had to experience that homophobic religious pressure before you got out.

[@CatlovingNB]

Had us in the first half not gonna lie

[@RosemaryAmey]

The dad who "protected" his daughter from all boys and men growing up, then expected her as an adult to focus her life on finding, marrying, pleasing, and making babies with a man wasn't protecting her, he was protecting her virginity to increase her "value" to the kind of man he expects her to marry. He doesn't see her as a person at all, IMHO.

[@Sly-Moose]

Him: I want to protect your purity so you can be mistreated by your future husband who I expect to be exactly like me. 💀

[@Nic0Dr4ws]

I agree, not allowing her to ever hang out with boys and stuff like that is just going to get her in more trouble socially and get her in more toxic relationships since she won’t have any past experience to base these things off of. Keep the kids ignorant because they’re easier to manipulate, type of thing

[@waffles3629]

Yep. My whole life I heard "No sex before marriage, no sex before marriage, no...." then I turned 18, was single and suddenly "So when are the grandkids coming?". When I said "When I'm stable enough to adopt" I was greeted back with "Sex isn't that bad". 😳 Uh, WHAT??? Like firstly, I just said adopting, and secondly, that soooo doesn't sell it. Like "Wanna try my pie? It's not that bad". Uh no, I'll pass. As far as they know I'm still single, and they kept up requesting grandkids until I evicted my uterus.

[@Silentgrace11]

@@waffles3629 Just wanted to say I love the phrase "evicted my uterus" 😂 I'm going to have to use that

[@kittysunlover]

Came here to say this - he wasn't protecting a daughter, he was protecting a possession.

[@GrayBun119]

It’s funny how my mother is a (backhand) homophobe/transphobe. When I came out as a lesbian when I was 16, I was told “not be butch” since she wanted me to be femme….. now at 23, I’m a trans man. I love the unintended backfire. My father was the most confused about me being lgbtq+ (he once asked if he made me gay by not being in my life as much due to being in the military) but now he’s one of my biggest supporters. He calls me his son and even wished me a happy Father’s Day (I’m the proud “dad” to my 2 cats).

[@tinker651]

This gave me the wholesome feels. ❤ It's hard to grasp ANYTHING for a lot of people if they don't personally experience it. So for him to have a genuine question then turn to full support, makes me warm, fuzzy and hopeful 😊

[@consciouscode8150]

hehe cat dad

[@dietotaku]

YOU: "mom i like girls" YOUR MOM: "well you're a lady so you better act like one" YOU: "so about that..."

[@SethCarter-h4p]

W dad

[@Mayo_Nayoo]

hehehehe

[@JoULove]

OP: "I'm aro/ace!" Them: "let's cure your homosexuality!" OP: "I'm not- that's not- Okay 😬"

[@tylerbailey9329]

The braindeadness of homophobes knows no bounds

[@Tonithemeloni04]

What I’m scared of That and “you’ll find someone!”

[@emyuui1]

“You’ll grow out of it! youre just young and dumb!”

[@Tonithemeloni04]

@@emyuui1 my last 20 years of life havent lied

[@CRUNCH-w9e]

I am so glad your generation is more educated and open minded than mine. Hope for the future generations ❤

[@JamesTheNonbinaryKing2]

Yeah a boy at school came in one day with a shirt that says “they’re is only two genderz” spelling mistakes and all. He was given dress coded for violating the rule about having no clothes that is offensive to a minority and he said that he was “being oppressed”🤡. It was just a day in the life of a trans teen (me)

[@marvelous971-j6m]

What I can't be a bigot against trans people? Then I'm oppressed.-🤡

[@dragonluvver975]

Pretending to spell it wrong is super ironic lol

[@JamesTheNonbinaryKing2]

@@dragonluvver975 I’m not sure he meant to spell it wrong. He’s kind of a 🤡

[@DanYL2009]

Your username is amazing I love it so much

[@JamesTheNonbinaryKing2]

@@DanYL2009 thanks🥰

[@zakuraRabbit]

I always did wonder about the logic of parents who go "You're not allowed to even look at the opposite sex!" and then immediately ask why they're not married at 20. Married to who dad?

[@11Ohno111]

As a Gay Trans man, I was like- "No men?- What if I just *Becomes The Man* There, better, now I can't look at women, what a pain! *Glances at the stereotypical E-boy* ...Shit, well- When Life gives you lemons, you gotta take 'em right?

[@Sly-Moose]

Fakkin Aqua Man!?

[@John_Weiss]

And then they go all surprised Pikachu face if/when the kid comes out as gay.

[@angelcaru]

What do they think a partner is gonna make their child? Happy?!? Is that so bad?

[@mrsplays9817]

And then if the child winds up gay/lesbian the parents complain even more! There's no pleasing them.

[@pamelamays4186]

I was raised by a Mom who was supportive of her children, no matter what, no matter how old they were. As a mom myself, I continue that tradition. I may not agree with all of the choices my children make, but I will never reject or try to "fix" them.

[@MomAmiAndKiddoKelsi]

Same here! My parents always supported me and loved me, now I do the same to my kiddo! Every time kiddo talks about the future they also include that they want to be a supportive parent ❤

[@merilynnshark6144]

Same. When I came out as trans to my parents, I don't necessarily think they took me seriously, but they didn't try to force me to be a way they wanted and instead let me figure it out on my own. My mom even helped out a bit when I was looking for an HRT clinic (she works for a blood bank) and is willing to listen about stuff.

[@WB0916]

I'm a Bisexual Female. My phone wallpaper used to be the Bi flag and my sister had seen it. Earlier today my mum was ranting about queer people(kind of homophobic) and my sister said that I "got the whole bisexual thing from Tiktok". I had a crush on my FEMALE teacher when I was 10 which was in 2016 BEFORE TIKTOK EVEN EXISTED. Nobody but me knows about said crush but since my sister said what she said, I've felt like shit. I feel really alone right now and I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel invalidated and broken. I try not to think about it but it is SO SO hard. Homophobia is a vile, vile thing and I'm sorry to anyone else who has to deal with it constantly.

[@lduker9731]

You are valid. You be you and try not let your sister get to you.

[@WB0916]

@@lduker9731 Thankyou🫶🏼 I'll try my best🙂

[@Jimi_vr]

I'm a bi guy and I feel bad for you

[@The_Cylly]

this kind of behavior is despicable. nobody should ever have to feel like they're invalid or broken for just being themselves. I wish you the best and hope that it does at least get better in some way.

[@WB0916]

@@The_Cylly Thankyou very much🥹🫶🏼

[@B3DH3ADcartoons]

One time a kid who was really annoying in my Bio class (always trying to copy my homework, tried to grab my lab when I wouldn't let him copy my work, expected answers even when he didn't know my name) and one day he said (clearly mockingly) "aRe yOu tRaNs oR sOmeThiNg" so I looked at him dead in the eye and said "Yeah." He was dead silent for the rest of the year.

[@ErinBeanz]

Respect, I wish I had that courage

[@ThePkmnYPerson]

What? You didn't let him copy your answers so he asked if you're trans? That's a new one.

[@pipi-caca]

That's hilarious 😭

[@robo1513]

@@ThePkmnYPerson people like that think every problem in their life is trans people's faults

[@CatlovingNB]

R/tramatizethemback?

[@wes643]

The dad wasn’t protecting his daughter. He was protecting her “virginity”.

[@UniDocs_Mahapushpa_Cyavana]

He was protecting what he considered his doll 🎎. Something to be cared for, but never loved.

[@smolapril]

excuse me, I need throw up 🤮🤮🤮 some people don't deserve to be parents

[@just_a_dude75]

Virginity is not truly important toa person

[@Nakedsnake36]

He’s protecting her from STD

[@Memeki_Draws_Stuf2112]

@@Nakedsnake36you know protection exists. WE ARENT IN THE 1950’S

[@dietotaku]

the parents who forbid any opposite-sex interactions and then expect you to immediately get married upon reaching adulthood are operating from an arranged marriage mindset. underage: no one can touch you, you'll get pregnant outside of wedlock. of age: you have to get married IMMEDIATELY to the first available bachelor so that when you get pregnant it won't be out of wedlock. time to fulfill your duties as a woman and give yourself over to a man and start churning out babies for our lord! i guarantee if OP said anything to her dad about "i'm having trouble dating because i don't have any experience interacting with guys," her dad will have some guy he "knows from church" ready to propose on the first date.

[@dietotaku]

he's not protecting his child, he's protecting his property. and yes i hate that i automatically understand how these people think 😑

[@Cosmic_407]

@@dietotakuI mean underaged sex is bad, but don’t be overprotective.

[@cks7548]

Some parents are like that with their daughters, not wanting them talking to boys to prevent them from getting into a love relationship. For example, I know a girl who brought her boy cousins to her lady friend's house and the mom didn't want them coming over since they were boys. So, some parents won't allow their daughters to have male friends, fearing that it could lead to a romantic relationship. Some parents have their daughter go to a school for girls only just so she wouldn't get into a love relationship with boy. Parents like those have toxic views. They basically think a boy and girl can't be friends without there being anything romantic between them, and how do these parents expect their daughter to find a good husband someday if they don't have much experience with the opposite gender? That kind of thinking is harmful, and all it does it give into the toxic narrative that men and women can't just be friends. It's also very heteronormative. Their daughter might not even like boys.

[@forgottenartform]

That last story gave me flashbacks to being a child (around 10 years old at most) and my bio father saying if he ever found out I was gay he'd kill me and was blatantly homophobic. Stopped having contact with him at 11 and have been open about my sexuality but stuff like that stays with you even 21 years later. I hope those girls get out of that situation and heal

[@Nic0Dr4ws]

I completely agree, when I came out at 12 as trans IT DID NOT GO GOOD, my mom argued with me for months and even threatened to put me in foster care or send me to go live with my dad. And although she’s supportive now I still think about that period of time a lot

[@Archiver_Studio]

@@Nic0Dr4ws That is deeply concerning Like *insanely* concerning

[@Nic0Dr4ws]

@@Archiver_Studio yeah, I know💀

[@PokhrajRoy.]

I remember Katya saying something that really said something that stuck to me. They pointed at their drag look and said: “What about this incites violence?”

[@nutella7162]

And those kind of people will have a lot to say what incites violence...which is really heckin sad.

[@just_a_dude75]

Its from men and other concervatives who think women and femininity are a terrible concept

[@bapho-p]

Protective parents in these situations seldom feel genuinely protective. They just feel like a DM trying to railroad a party to a certain conclusion, but obviously much worse.

[@saltycrunch]

They are protective. But they're not protecting their daughters. They're protecting the patriarchy from which all men benefit. Girls, women, even their own daughters, are basically just tools to help men succeed and lead comfortable lives with easy access to sex, i.e. future male heirs.

[@supermangarritano6636]

I will never apologize to a bigot for them being a bigot ! 😂

[@marvelous971-j6m]

Never surrender to a bigot.

[@christopherb501]

_Perhaps_ if they're young and/or woefully ignorant, and they're not forceful; just in case there's _some_ chance of keeping them from getting worse. Most of the time, [vulgar F] that [feces].

[@evesyoutube3020]

never say never mahaha

[@consciouscode8150]

What if it was super passive aggressive like "I'm sorry [for you] I exist"?

[@independentpuppy7520]

I confronted a homophobic neighbour a few days ago. He didn't like it. Called me a woman hater, a racist, and a straight man hater. He was reeling off a ton of insults. I was left scratching my head thinking that isn't me at all. I decided hateful bigots are a waste of time talking to, and trying to educate. They just twist things around to make you the hater. Some people never learn. It was like speaking to someone in Victorian times. Yet he was another guy in his 20s.

[@jman12g73]

As a pastor’s kid I relate heavily to the first story. Having a dad that when I tried to come out he worded things in a way that let me know he wasn’t accepting. And when I finally got the courage to come out again years later he asked me to attend a bible study for “queer people” the person running said bible study said “the opening devotion may have some phrasing that sounds like conversion therapy but it makes some good points.” At that point I knew it wasn’t going to work.

[@Nic0Dr4ws]

That is a crazy thing to say💀 “ guys guys! I know this sounds like a trap but TRUST ME it’s not!” Kinda reminds me when I went to my moms church events and found a brochure type of thing with something similar, if I remember correctly I just ended up walking home. I’m not even religious I just like free food

[@jman12g73]

Free food is great motivator

[@Nakedsnake36]

priests and pastors arent even supposed to have kids...

[@Blaire_Shoe]

@@Nakedsnake36 depends heavily on the denomination, my final pastor had something like 7+ children last I checked (initially Baptist but ultimately swapped to "non-denominational" to better reflect its present-day values, which I guess are just "whatever tf we want", so YMMV 🤣), though prior to him we also had a couple others with at least one kid.

[@jman12g73]

@@Nakedsnake36 I know Lutheran pastors can and are encouraged to have huge families. At least in the synod that I was a part of.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

10:15 I can speak from my experience that this is peak South Asian family dynamics: The ‘No Boys!’ to ‘It’s ok if he just breathes, plz marry boy’ pipeline.

[@Freya_games_and_music]

I came out to my mom as trans female when i was 16 in 2007. She didn’t say or do anything other than "ok". Then 1 week later she leaves work early and picks me up from school early and takes me to see a Christian therapist (who was also the wife of the church pastor) and had me scheduled to see this lady once a week up until I tried to take my own life after 6 months of this. At the psych hospital I told the doctor what was happening at home and he ended up contacting cps on my mom for child abuse. This was in California by the way. After 3 weeks in the hospital I was released and sent home. My mom didn't force me to go to that therapist again anymore but essentially stopped careing for my needs. At that point I was spending most of my time at my best friends house, where I was accepted right away. After I turned 18 I left and never looked back. Currently my best friend and I are still roommates and I've been living full time as female for the last 12 years.

[@missnaomi613]

I hope you know that you deserve only the best! 💙💗🤍💗💙

[@expertoflizardcorrugation3967]

im very happy that you had a supportive friend. everyone deserves support, and I'm sorry it didn't come from your mother

[@clarejean3309]

I’m glad that you have such a supportive friend! I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I came out during 2021 as a lesbian. I tried to date a boy one time but I hated it but didn’t realise that I was lesbian till then. Hope you’re doing all right now. 🩵 🩷 🤍 🩷 🩵

[@DragonMoonFNAF]

Your mother sounds horrible, I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m glad you’re doing well now, and I shall send virtual hugs to you. -Random trans guy on the internet lol

[@superJK92]

I'm sorry about the issue with your mom, I was about to say my friend had a similar reaction to me coming out as gay to them, until I saw about what she did, but my friend did basically say the same thing, he just said "Okay" and he seems fine with it as he doesn't treat me and different then he did before I told him, I told him late last year (2023)

[@CuteCube5]

My dad has 5 kids including me, I'm the youngest. And he's queerphobic, like a lot. 3 of his kids are queer, and the other guys are really supportive. We have a group chat, just the 6 of us there, and sometimes we mention LGBTQ+ stuff. My dad gets so upset it's hilarious, he's like a little kid having a meltdown. One time he came into my room and was like "Why did I deserve this. Why is it like this" I almost cried laughing. He looked so stupid. So sad my siblings can't see that, they've moved out a long time ago.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

1:52 “Okay, which sin are you talking about?” 💀

[@Archiver_Studio]

"Do you mean the veganism, the dog I accidentally hit with my car last week, or maybe...Ah! Maybe the cigarette I smoked behind the bleachers at high school?"

[@I-choose-violence225]

Relatable...?

[@tuuurtles]

it is one of the saddest things when parents abuse/torment their children. The people who should love them unconditionally, and be the ones go for support to =( And the worst part is that since the children are under age and have no place to escape to they feel trapped, hurt and scared.

[@elaexplorer]

They're not protecting the woman for the woman's sake but they're protecting her to give her to another man. It comes from when daughters were sold to future mates, so the daughter is only as good as what price she can fetch from a potential mate

[@ilikecookies9796]

☝️💯

[@Sly-Moose]

🤮🤮

[@lucamannstein2587]

Shouldn't be aro/ace considered holy by christian faith logic? Arent nuns and monks supposed to be celibate and isnt their thinking that lust is a sin, so shouldnt they consider aro ace people as something closer to god/the divine? I'm not religious at all, but this would go with their logic

[@emmetlover206]

A lot of aroace people never want kids. So they aren't being fruitful.

[@chadfalardeau5396]

It's denying the desire that's holy, not having the desire seems to defeat purpose

[@emmetlover206]

@@chadfalardeau5396 Yeah, I'm just basing if off things I heard about childfree people growing up. I grew up Christian.

[@chadfalardeau5396]

@@lucamannstein2587 I'm just speculating based on what I've heard/read. But it does make you wonder how many aroaces have been and do join

[@FreyW-mb2dj]

Dang, you’re right

[@MacerFitz]

I'm aro/ace and i feel for the guy in the first post, like damn, just like. Society is constantly pushing amatanormativity on us but your own parents? that's horrible. Also LGBT+ people are grooming children? Really? Edit: everyone should know how to cook it is a basic skill

[@BLZ231]

Honestly I’m a little jealous. I’m aro but not ace, though I wish I was, it would make life a lot easier. But yeah, agree with your comment.

[@WynneL]

Sure but like, they thought the person was homosexual when they're just plain not sexual at all. That's just especially ridiculous to me. Can they really be THAT stupid? I guess so, but I would've tried harder in order to avoid the nonsense.

[@John_Weiss]

The grooming accusation is projection, since _they_ are the ones who need to groom children into _their_ political and religious ideology.

[@Joetino]

I think at the first video, they should’ve at least explained “I never was gay in the first place. I literally don’t like anyone”.

[@The_Cylly]

@@BLZ231 it does and it doesn't.

[@prageruwu69]

hello lgbt people, i am soon 1 month on t

[@Sebby.sprout]

Young trans guy over here, what’s it like :)

[@timothyisstupid]

Pretty epic

[@prageruwu69]

​@@Sebby.sproutit's pretty cool. i've noticed a few changes already and i've talked about it on my channel. i like that my voice has changed slightly already.

[@Sebby.sprout]

@@prageruwu69ooo that sounds pretty cool, I’ll check your channel out

[@JazniaDraw]

I'm so happy for you!!! I've seen you here on Jamie's comments a lot and for a while now I've seen you talking about getting T, so I'm glad you finally started! Hopefully someday I'll be able to start T too :] (tho idk if it's the right thing for me, but i wanna try microdosing at least)

[@cameragod1]

My son is a trans man and we love and support him... (and I possibly overshare how proud I am of him) The thing I find that gets annoying is other people saying "Oh that must have been so difficult for you as parents" but no! No it wasn't hard for us (except financially helping to pay for top surgery) it was a very natural thing and he makes so much sense as a boy. He is a wonderful young man and I am incredibly proud of him and what he is doing in his life. I feel very sad for parents who's bigotry is more important to them than their child.

[@jijitters]

Thank you for saying this

[@pskima4274]

Sadly not all parents can conceive such knowledge. People are diversity out there and it is meant to torn apart due to a huge difference in understanding or accepting. Humans can be stubborn to the core and nobody knows how evil can it be . Great that you appreciate God for whatever God gave in your household. Blessed you more .

[@lizf1353]

I LOVE you as a supportive parent but I've got to tell you honestly I was so confused when I read "my son is a tansman" I was like FUCK I'm a 37yr old cisgender lesbian and I've missed another term in our community 😮 it took me way longer than I would like to admit into reading your comment to realize it was meant to be "trans man" not "tansman" 😂 I'm definitely the idiot here 😂

[@cameragod1]

@@lizf1353 Sorry about that... If its any help my dyslexia does that to me all the time :)

[@lizf1353]

@@cameragod1 🥰

[@RoyaltyInTraining.]

Being gay is awesome, I don't get why anyone would want to "cure" it.

[@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith]

In short, Buy-Bull.

[@ADJvide0z]

Bisexuals love making money off of "curing" it, they made it an industry,

[@oreolaw9911]

When people really started trying to cure homosexuality it was common in most societies that everything should be uniform and everything that doesn't stay with inside the norm is bad. people couldn't just be allowed to be themselves they have to adapt to the social Norm they had to act in a way that was seen as appropriate , they had to do things that they didn't like just to be seen as upstanding individuals to the social group that they were a part of. those who tried to cure homosexuality saw themselves as good people trying to help Wayward Souls and bring them back into society because being your own individual was less important than fitting into the group modern people trying to cure gayness has a similar mentality to those in the past that group over individual that's why we see conversion therapy a lot in religious circles

[@pipi-caca]

I do however want a cure for my heterosexuality 😔

[@Stormyyyy...]

@@pipi-caca why?

[@Atlas_SUNNY]

Before I realized I was trans, (ftm) I came out as lesbian to my grandmother. She didn't really understand much of it, but she was fine with it for the most part. A few weeks later, I visit her house and she says: "I don't think you're lesbian." She then proceeded to look up bible verses about homosexuality and made me read them. She wasn't wrong about me not being lesbian though lol

[@Nic0Dr4ws]

She’s so supportive! She knew you were a man this whole time, so wholesome

[@alistair5496]

My parents and my grandma made me read the book Irreversible damage or listen to transphobic podcast before I was allowed to join a GSA. They wanted me to have an "open mind". It sucked and I was going to join the club if they wanted me to or not. My mom has also threatened to put me into a school that will "treat me to be a girl" because I was dressing like a guy. I was just wearing hoodie and baggy pants. Also, she lost it when I got a button up from the boy section. Another fun thing, my grandma blocked me in the kitchen and made me promise not to cut off my chest when I'm older. She was reading things about top surgery. It sucks but Im still me and it hasn't changed me. I hope anyone dealing with shitty thing gets help soon and know that you're not alone. People will love you for you.

[@missnaomi613]

Not ignoring what you said, but I have the burning need to tell you that the words in your profile picture... My daughter and I say that all the time! 🐸

[@emilyjohn2034]

The genuinely misunderstanding between the difference of “I have a different opinion” and “you’re not allowed to be against my opinion” is wild. It’s like saying “I like tacos” “well I don’t like tacos and don’t want you to be allowed to to like tacos” that is no longer a different opinion you are now actively attacking another person. Being transphobic isn’t just another opinion it’s actively trying to remove peoples rights. And that is not open minded. How people don’t understand this is wild to me

[@artheenbyrogue804]

My grandmother has been harassing me for being too weird since I dress masculine (I'm trans masc enby), also she's been saying I'm an embarrassment for stimming (I'm autistic). She also says random transphobic crap to me because my family is okay with trans people "as long as it's not in the family". I love life :'). But i have great friends thankfully. I'm sending love to all of y'all but especially to people with queerphobic people. You're awesome and so so strong and valid

[@missnaomi613]

Myself and my kids (all in their 20s) are on the autism spectrum, and Kid 1 is trans masc enby. I'm sending mama hugs! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎💙💗🤍

[@angelcollina]

🫂

[@imflipsane]

Completely unrelated but since your @ doesnt contain any of the spaces or other things in your username and instead of it being A.R. the enby rogue i thought your name was Artheen Byrogue which honestly sounds really badass

[@johnnytownsend4204]

I just read the novel, "Camp Damascus," by Chuck Tingle, about a gay conversion camp from hell. Literally. The religious community made a pact with demons to keep LGBTQ youth in line. It's a horror story. But then one young woman decides to fight back... (It's a great story about how doing hurtful things in the name of God is never acceptable.)

[@ChaosSparkles]

He does more than just the parody romances? They seem ridiculous but I've heard they have good life lessons and depth.

[@11Ohno111]

Where, Where, I need it- where did you get it? I need to get my pretty little twink gremlin hands on it now

[@keltai83]

He just released a new book called Bury Your Gays, I've heard good reviews about it. I loved Camp Damascus and that he made the main character autistic and LGBTQ

[@DragonMoonFNAF]

That sounds like am interesting story!

[@georgiadubs]

I came out as asexual to my religious parents. They were so dismissive and have pretty much pretended the conversation never happened. My sister, who is extremely supportive, told me later that my mum told her she was worried my asexuality was a 'gateway' to me coming out as a lesbian 😂 me and my sister had a good laugh about that one

[@ragnarokelerm]

Im autistic and bi (edit) tnx luvs for all the supporting replies hope you all have a lovely day

[@ADJvide0z]

I think it's pretty rude for a bisexual to falsely claim to be autistic. I'm not sorry you bigot.

[@Work_in_progressGT]

@@ADJvide0z?

[@LeonoraTheCatPerson]

I am autistic and pan! Yay

[@ADJvide0z]

@@Work_in_progressGThomophobic/queerphobic neurotypicals falsely claiming to have conditions they don't have is very rude

[@nekusakura6748]

I hope you find someone who loves you for you.

[@Ins0mniacAxo1otl]

As a christian myself I hate it when people use religion to justify them hating certain groups

[@Mr.happy689]

I'm... Just tired at this point 😮‍💨

[@UniDocs_Mahapushpa_Cyavana]

Unless they use it to justify hating everyone, everywhere. Then they tend to be pretty based.

[@Nakedsnake36]

Same

[@chrissmith8198]

You know we as Christians do love, but we don't base love on culture right? We base it on God's Word?

[@Nakedsnake36]

@@chrissmith8198 God’s word is mercy

[@ETDOfficial]

Why would I? I love annoying them, all I say is I’m transfem bisexual and they go crazy and go crazy and I laugh

[@timothyisstupid]

Extremely based

[@PhantomQueenOne]

Sadly it sounds physical violence is going to happen or sending them to 'conversion ' therapy to make them 'not queer'.

[@milliesghosted]

Mood

[@toadette4x]

Story 1: I'm aroace my and it just makes me so angry how he/her/they got treated. I wanna let those parents sit trough a powerpoint presentation about aro's,aces and aroaces for 4 hours straight.

[@11Ohno111]

Ah yes, The holy Ace Text (Presentation)

[@PhantomQueenOne]

It's about purity culture where women have a limited role except being a broodmare, housewife, and be 'pure' until marriage in the case of the woman with the controlling father.

[@Sebby.sprout]

No need to apologise to someone for hating on you :D

[@jameskilts555]

I confronted my parents about my lack of believing in religion, and that I'm an atheist. They told me they'd rather me be gay than atheist. Oh if only they knew I was both LGBTQ+ and atheist 🤔🤔

[@chrissmith8198]

May I ask what made you an atheist?

[@jameskilts555]

@@chrissmith8198 I came to the conclusion on my own, especially after a long time of abuse and mental degradation, I begged god to help me, show me some sign that he's real, aid me in my time of need. When I realized there was indeed no answer I eventually came to the conclusion that there was no god. I was in seventh grade and a strong believer in science. I believed (and still do) in the idea of "if it exists, there must be some feasible way to prove it". Ever since I have only seen more and more things that keep me at the same conclusion.

[@Thebritshnationlist-lldskully7]

​@@jameskilts555we the exact opposite, I was an atheist but then before bi in year 5 (I'm in the UK) but in year 7 I found god himself and still guides me to this day

[@okima1911]

​@Theanglomonke-unttp-UE wow, a physical manifestation of deity!

[@JustADogLover396]

Happy story below: I came out to my parents as lesbian earlier this month! My dad said he already knew cause I literally had a life size teddy bear that I would pretend was my girlfriend. And before I came out, my dad went to his lesbian coworker and asked her if he should help me come out. Like if he should push it or not, she said not to, and he didn't. However, I wouldn't have minded them ask me, it would have eased it a little more. Its easier for me to just answer questions for some reason. And when I came out I told my parents about my crush. My mom was like "I wanna see this (insert crush name here)" lol. I love them! Sorry to everyone who isn't as lucky as me.

[@milliesghosted]

AWH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU LIVE LAUGH LOVE LESBIAN

[@Milesmorales-spidey]

I am FTM and came out to my parents at 18 (1 week before I left for uni) over the phone. they called the police and tried to get me sectioned until the mental health act , the police were out on the streets looking for me and I got pulled over on a motorway. Very traumatic and had to convince the police that I was in fact sane and it was my parents that needed help Safe to say I have not spoken to them since I left to go to uni 7 years ago

[@Lumity_enjoyer]

I'm a closeted pansexual in a homophobic household... I wish the pain of keeping who you are a secret to no one.

[@angelcollina]

🫂❤️🌈

[@KyaraNB]

I know that feeling too well

[@Lumity_enjoyer]

@KyaraNB we all do

[@Transboi747]

The "being outed by a sibling" is more common than I thought. It happened to me too. I think I was so desperate to make sure that he knew it was okay at a young age, to think that he was only ten, and therefore not likely to understand why it would be wrong too, for example, tell my ENTIRE EXTENDED FAMILY that I liked girls. My uncle is a pastor. Fun times.

[@ChaosSparkles]

My parent has gone from not understanding and disliking the lgbt+, learning and becoming more accepting after I came out, had a religious experience, and now is extremely trans/homophobic. It hurts more seeing them change than if they were that hateful in the beginning. I use to hope I would one day see them wear a "I love my bisexual daughter" shirt I saw online, but that seems impossible now. 😢

[@Thebritshnationlist-lldskully7]

But to be honest, it's a nice gesture to wear a "I love my bi daughter" if she had friends and wanted it a secret and your wearing it in public, it's not going to go well

[@angelcollina]

🫂

[@diamonddead8162]

I was terrified at 27 to bring my first boyfriend to my mum, she was fully convinced I was seeing a chick till he rolled up, and I told her don’t question it just accept it

[@cspratt]

My sister and I are 12 1/2 years apart, I'm 36, she's 23, we have the same mother and different fathers. I never came out as bi, and am in a straight relationship, I knew I would never be accepted, so I never mentioned it. My sister is MTF and pan, she was able to come out the year before our mother died. I wasn't able to be there to support her, I have reached out to her and let her know that I accept her and love her. I hope she got the acceptance I never got from our mother and her father accepts her.

[@EvilBenFolds]

My grandparents finally gave up “trying to save me from the depths of hell”

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Special shoutout to Dr. Jo Hartland who has made considerable progress in bringing awareness around queer people in medical fields as well as decrying conversion therapy.

[@binglemarie42]

4:51 I'm pretty sure I would go to my parents the next morning saying that Jesus had come to me in a dream. He took the gayness out of me, and commanded that I be celibate to glorify Him. Done and dusted until I'm ready to leave home! (I'm aroace, BTW.)

[@cloudyskyz2237]

Wait wait this is genius

[@Sly-Moose]

🤣 YES!! I would LOVE to see their reaction cuz I bet you anything they're the type to still want grandkids

[@legojenn]

I can't see things from the parents' perspective. Some of my peers are becoming grandparents so I've seen a lot of friends kids grow up and I can't see how they think that they can talk or abuse queer kids into not being queer. My parents tried denial, but they were embarassed when folks were confused. My father was once excited about me showing up and said his son was coming. One of his friends said that he talks about his son, but never sees them. I just said that my brother is a selfish asshole and liar, which is true. It dissipated the situation.

[@hawkeyescoffee6399]

That response seems like one hell of a power move. The other boss move I've seen is when a trans person replies, preferable in a overdone whisper, something along the lines of "we're worried about dementia since he keeps insisting I'm his son" (said by someone who is clearly a woman, or in the reverse when someone continues to call their clearly male trans son their daughter). Or, like "Oh it's actually very sad, my brother/sister died X years ago (where X=year of starting transition), but my dad just can't accept it."

[@liamhutfles4113]

Their hate isn't logical. It can't be disproven. Any arguments they make are justifying what they know is hate.

[@gaymertime]

Tbh,the world would be way better if we never had any discrimination in play in the first place.

[@Sharks-x1j]

True

[@RainbyFIN]

Wishing everything good to everyone disowned and thrown out and/or "no contact" with their parents because they're phobic 💖 Everyone deserves a safe home, and no one is entitled to being in contact with you if they're ruining that

[@Bouziqa]

That absolutely sad that everyone LGBT hates there homophobic parents

[@angelcollina]

@@Bouziqa Well, if the parents are homophobic, they started the hate. Reacting to that, as their child, is valid however it manifests.

[@ItRemindMeOfHome]

Unfortunately, in the United States the child is the property of the parent until 18, unless they are legally emancipated

[@girlwithtehface5880]

Not "property" because that would be considered slavery. The child is a ward of their parents, which is how Child Protective Services can exist and take people's children away from them legally.

[@goodpeople25]

@@girlwithtehface5880 Slavery not as punishment for a (supposed to be duly convicted but I doubt it) crime. Slavery is legal in the US remember. And that means they are perfectly capable of still treating people as property. Also how does being able to be taken away means something is not property?

[@Caninesfangs]

My mom is transphobic and blatantly ignores that I want to be called a specific name and that I want her to use specific pronouns for me. I hate my life

[@Phentic]

Well not everyone is gonna support you. When your old enough literally just leave.

[@becplumbing660]

Make adult decisions when you’re an adult. Kids aren’t old enough to transition. And a study shows most “trans kids” are actually gay.

[@FanGrell1993]

Gender fluid, Asexual, Panromantic, Autustic .....my family doesn't know about me being gender fluid, but surprisingly accepted the other parts. Also accepted that i am not Christian, bur not telling them.i am pagan

[@11Ohno111]

Fellow Nerodivergent! 🤝

[@FanGrell1993]

@@11Ohno111 🤝

[@BrynGill-b7y]

Fellow pagan!🤝

[@Kathryn012]

Fellow asexual 🤝

[@emrys7168]

Thank you for this. I really needed to hear and be reminded that bigots can do one, even if they are our family members. Mine have not taken my coming out as trans well and are not currently speaking to me. I'm at the really fun bit of hrt -7 months in and changes are happening! - that I really wanted to be able to share with them, but they don't want to know. I was finding that really hard today, for some reason, so thank you for this video. It was just what I needed.

[@carolinelabbott2451]

You can share here, what you are comfortable with, and there is plenty of us here who will cheer you on. Congrats on 7 months hrt. ❤

[@angelcollina]

Congratulations!! 🎉🍾🎈 I’m proud of you! ❤🫂

[@Bigoukun]

I will NEVER understand peoples that reject their kids for their sexuality or gender. A parent is supposed to want nothing but the happiness of their child. I know if I had a kid, (not that I plan to ever have any) I would support them regardless of their gender and sexual orientations.

[@emilyjohn2034]

And it tends to be the same families who defend abuse with “but we are family!” And talk about how family is everything, suddenly that doesn’t matter once their kid doesn’t fit their idea of how someone should be

[@chrissmith8198]

And parents do! I mean the bible says raise up a child in the way he should go And we know true joy is only found in the person of Jesus Christ

[@sveps8883]

@@chrissmith8198 Prove it, and don't quote fiction. And im asking for citations.

[@JayBeKey]

The funny thing is, wouldn't a Christian want their child not to have the sin of lust.

[@mrsplays9817]

"Mom... dad... I'm... free from the sin of lust." "We need to fix this."

[@TheNamesGrayW]

I GOT A BINDER YESTERDAY!!!

[@zebrabitch7821]

CONGRATS! AWOOOOOO

[@turingtestingmypatience]

CONGRATS GRAY HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BINDERRRRR I KNOW IT'S EXCITING BUT REMEMBER TO BIND SAFELY, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE BECAUSE IT'S TOO DANG HOT OUT THERE RN OTHERWISE GO WILD, ENJOY LOOKING AWESOME

[@pipi-caca]

Congrats, remember to bind safely!!

[@statesburgproductions]

Congratulations, comrade. Remember, don’t bind longer than 8 hours a day.

[@daisymay6505]

Weee that's so awesome, remember to be safe and don't sleep in your binder ❤

[@Quin_The_Winion]

My parents are homophobic, transphobic and others but you get the gist. I'm bi and ace and I'm not coming out anytime soon but while the pride parade was going on in my town it was raining (as always cause I'm Irish) and my dad said 100% serious, "I hope the rain washes the gay out of them" I think I'll stay secret 🙂👍

[@Nic0Dr4ws]

He’s right actually, I once went outside while it was raining with an umbrella and the next day I was magically cishet, fortunately I followed the rainbow and at the end was my baggage of gay so I just put it back ok

[@Thebritshnationlist-lldskully7]

My dad is "catholic" and homophobic when I was bi he kept questioning but I became Christian, I know he's gay because his only friend is obviously gay and he overhates and he hates when I make simple jokes about gay people and him being gay

[@Quin_The_Winion]

​@@Nic0Dr4wsthat sounds terrifying 😱 glad you're back 😂🏳️‍🌈

[@Wolf_Ghost]

Autistic transmale here. Was in PhD program for forensic pathology. Had to get a bio bachelor's first. I didn't finish, due to adjustment into civilian life after leaving military and in ended up reenlisting, was a firefighter that used service dogs to locate specific things. 40 now but finally started T 2024 march. I adore your shows, Dr. Jamie. Awesome stuff.

[@alextheferret5674]

I came out to my extended family and they immediately disowned me :D

[@Lint-o9f]

My aunt is very homophobic and forced me to go to church with my cousin Which backfired because now I’m going to my girlfriends confirmation as an Atheist and can’t wait to care for her (I’m pan btw and my gf is omni)

[@claratalbot7613]

I remember growing up having the expectation that I was going to marry a man, have kids, grow out my goth phase, not get tattoos, & dress more feminine. 20+ years later I'm still in my goth "phase," still dress in more masculine or genderless clothing, slowly working on my patchwork sleeves, I'm bi-romantic but have higher preference towards woman or feminine presenting people, & if I have kids it's going to be through adoption unless my spouse wants to do ivf treatments but I will not be the one having the kids if we decides to have them due to infertility issues & medical risks

[@kurotsuki7427]

Still dont get why the people who say sex is sinful get so dang worked up when we don't experience sexual attraction. But hate isn't logical.

[@enoiladoe]

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Family is who we choose to have in our lives. 💜

[@Robert-yc9ql]

Sadly, parents are often told by the media and religion that same sex unions are wrong, so they sometimes lack the tools or even a starting point for learning that, in fact, no. This isn't wrong or weird... happens all the time in nature... really nothing to see here. Really good parents want their children to be better than themselves. Educating absolutely everyone is the only sure cure for ignorance. 😊

[@lilhedgehog8576]

I hate these hypocrites that will say that letting your kid be trans is abuse when they’re the ones who berate and threaten their children into submission.

[@BooklikesBFDI]

SOBBING I WAS ALSO ON TUMBLR WHILE WATCHING THIS AND SAW A POST THAT SAID "Hoffman really took the whole crushing thing a bit too far" AND THEN IN THE VIDEO JAMIE WAS LIKE... TRYING TO HYPNOTIZE US WITH HIS BOOK(0:09) AND THEN I HALLUCINATED THAT GUYS VOICE FROM THE WHO WAS SHOW SAYING MY COUSINS VOICE AND REALIZED I'VE BEEN HALLUCINATING FOOTSTEPS FOR THE PAST LIKE 3 MINUTES????? /nm

[@0_chi_hiro]

with that long story it's also super important to mention that the kid was FORCED to come out. the mother pestered her until she got the answer she was obviously looking for, then lost her absolute marbles about said answer. She basically forced her kid to come out, gave them absolute hell about it, and then did everything she could to take away any support they were getting. What an absolutely horrible creature

[@faith-by-faith]

"My own entitled parents made me listen to 4 hours of online preachers in the effort to 'cure my gayness' fml" As a preacher, I can say this is 100% NOT what Jesus taught. I don't believe in hell, but if there is one, their parents are going. Edit: I am a genderfluid demisexual lesbian, for reference.

[@Callie_With_a_Bible]

Didnt Jesus say something about not judging for God is the only one who judges? And something about loviny thy nieghbor? I'm an athiest and even I know more about the Christian values....than some Christians seemingly-

[@faith-by-faith]

@@Callie_With_a_Bible Yes, he did. He also said to leave people alone if they didn't want to listen, and ran away when the people tried to crown him king. Seems to me there are a lot of Christians out there who don't want to be like Jesus.

[@Northernghostbatlover]

As a queer teen, I find it completely unbelievable that parents will try to 'cure' something that never did anything wrong. I feel insanely lucky that my parents are atheists, and no one has been directly homophobic towards me, but I feel so horrible for those people who have to grow up constantly harassed and verbally abused by the people who are supposed to protect them.

[@shhhhhhh9328]

That "protective" father is just protective of his investment. It's his daughter's duty to marry well so that the father gets the status of a good connection to a worthy family (and perhaps a bride price or good dowry deal). If the daughter is even rumored to be not virginally pure for her husband, she won't attract a top-tier buyer and the husband's family can tear up the contract if she seems too "experienced" on the wedding night - hence the father's obsession with not allowing men or boys anywhere near his 5+ yr old daughter. Honestly, it's all so gross and comes straight out of traditions more than 2,000 years old, of males owning their household members with women as chattel slaves equated to beasts of burden only valued for their childbearing ability. Now please excuse me while I step away to puke...

[@silverghostcat1924]

I'll be happy when the time comes (hopefully sooner rather than later) when no one "comes out" because everyone is accepted for who they are. Where the only thing that's important is whether you're a decent person or not.

[@ashtonziedins]

I cried watching this. You're the dad I never had. Thank you, Jamie.

[@TheComedianGamer]

Once I told my dad that I wanted to get myself a good paying job, buy my car and house independently, adopt children, but I did not want to get married (I said I wasn’t going to get a HUSBAND because I’m lesbian but I’m not out and am not planning to come out) I kid you not, he was like “ARE YOU A FEMINIST!?!?” Bruh… imagine when he finds out I’m gay, then he’ll really go crazy

[@annafrancan]

I have controlling , homophobic and transphobic parents. They’ve completely messed me up in so many ways . I’m not even out to them as bi or trans and I’m nearly 30

[@angelcollina]

I don’t have a particularly homophobic/transphobic mom, but I’m still closeted with her with all of my discoveries. She hasn’t been the best. There are worse, but she doesn’t seem very invested in really getting to know me now that I live away from her. I’m 40. Though, I am planning on coming out to my father this new years. He and my mom have been divorced since I was 5. He’s more open-minded and understanding.

[@annafrancan]

@@angelcollina thats so good to hear! Best of luck with your dad and your journey. The way I see it is if your mum can't accept you for who you truly are then thats her problem. same goes for my parents too haha

[@angelcollina]

@@annafrancan ❤️🏳️‍🌈

[@dandylion2775]

The colours on your book cover look lovely! They go together very well.

[@leniluan5131]

When I came out to my parents, they punched me in the back of the head. It hurt for days. They eventually checked on me, but I didn't realize until later that they only did it so that there wouldn't be bruises and they wouldn't get caught

[@BaxterSquee]

The fact that kids are forced to live with parents like this shows how fucked our society is. An adult can choose who they live with but a kid can’t. It’s just so fucked. I’m truly sorry. Maybe in like 1000 years society will finally start treating children with respect.

[@GalaxyFilms_official]

As a Trans teen that is also pansexual and nonbinary (Im a demiboy) i accidentally outed myself on a KZbin live because i was going by he/they and she was spying on me through the door and during the live she wanted to talk to me in the hallway and she was like "why are you pretending to be a guy?" And since she is very transphobic i was like "im just cosplaying as one." Trying to un out myself because i was scared for my life and she was like "okay." And i went back to my live. A week later as we where driving to the Walmart i had my headphones on and she was trying to say it was a phase and use her transphobic powers on me as a attempt to make me question myself even if i was very sure that im trans so i turned my headphones up (they are soundproof) and after a good 10 minutes of her being blocked out she finally notices and she stopped talking and i took off my headphones ans she said "i was talking to a wall huh?" And i was like "yeah." And she sighed and gave up and said "I don't care if you want to be a guy, i love you no matter what you are just dont go all out until you're completely sure and dont change your appearance permanently like from surgery until you're moved out and over 18 and no matter what you do you are still my little girl." And now about a few months later she has suppressed that conversation a bit and still misgenders me in public even when i pass as a guy, but she doesn't refuse to buy me masc clothes and shes getting me cologne for my birthday in 6 days from now. She does support me being pansexual though completely, shes just warming up to my trans side which i am glad that she isnt trying to change me like some parents i heard about. Its just the pronouns thing in public im trying to get her to warm up to.

[@emma-janeadamson4099]

Just to add a bit of hope to the world, I'm both Gen X and a regular churchgoer, and I'm watching this stitching a birth announcement for my son as I have for all my kids, except instead of his birthday it's going to have the year he came out as trans. Sone of us are okay.

[@margengreer4935]

I support the LGBTQ and I am proud to say that I am a Muslim I would never ever hurt someone’s heart

[@cami3393]

We need more people like you

[@ShaggyLee-m8m]

Im trans male and my Jewish dad bought me over a hundred dresses to "make me feel more girly" 😂

[@Galaxyheartbreakergirl]

In school I was severely outed by a guy in my class as lesbian (though I'm not lesbian), my male friend was called a girl, I still get called lesbian for liking another girl

[@Galaxyheartbreakergirl]

When I reported this to school psychologist, she did absolutely nothing. My friend who works in the office and made me have a chat with this guy. The Impact of the rumors still impact my everyday life today. Right now in all of my subjects I have at least one bully sitting close and making fun of me for being vegetarian and not being straight in general. They also make fun of me for crushing on a girl (and most LGT+ (sexuality)girls like her)

[@Mightbeafurry]

Your voice is so soothing 😊

[@j.rinker4609]

Parents could also look for an "Open and Affirming" church that allows them to believe in religion AND accept a gay/trans/etc. child.

[@AceLikesSharks34]

My father knows I'm queer and he just makes jokes about it (respectful ones, he's glad that I'm happy and doesn't care that I think girls are hot). My mother, however, has planned out how she expects my life to happen to the T, and that includes kids, a husband, etc. I plan to tell her when I go off to college so I won't be around while she gets used to the idea.

[@MmmHuggles]

Never apologize for doing the right thing.

[@ShadowAnimeation]

For the story about the daughter being over-protected as a kid did hit me funny. Like either this guy is a huge misogynist or he was abused as a kid and worried about her being molested (considering he didn't like other dads being around either). Either way not a normal parenting thing, and something OP should reassess. Also the always talking about a husband could be misogyny but it could also be Anti-LGBT. When young women focus more on their career and don't date much, people have a tendency to assume "Oh she must be lesbian, because she doesn't want a man". Just something to think about.

[@tisanidiot]

as an AFAB person, i'm extremely grateful that my dad is as urgently supportive of my dreams. I told him I didnt want kids and wanted to open a board and train dog kennel, and he had blueprints drawn up the next day, and helped me write a business plan. Him and my mom are as traditional as you can get, save for my mom having a better paying job. But at some point, they realized I just wasn't like them, and found ways to support me in my dreams regardless. were they entirely supportive of me being pan at first? no, but they are now, and they loved my first girlfriend until she broke up with me. Theyre a lot better now that im older.

[@webby3109]

Oh my god!! That one about the homophobic catholic family just hurt!! I could just envision the whole thing, and it just makes me sick that anyone could be so awful like that, smashing stuff and throwing things just because your kid is in love!! That says a whole lot more about that family than it does anything about anyone else

[@aiden3627]

The overprotective dad with the not allowing 5 year old boys to be friends with his daughter is almost a snapshot of my life. My dad doesn’t prompt me to marry but he still doesn’t like the idea of me being with a man. He actually told my mom that he would prefer I date a woman though he’s not sure why he feels that way he just does (I’m out as Bi). My dad spent my whole life telling us things like “you will never run fast enough, fight strong enough, or scream loud enough” referring to boys who might want to hurt us this was his only semblance advice on how to stay safe from potential attackers/rapists. I can tell OP that if she looks back on her life she will likely find other behaviors that are or are close to psychological/emotional abuse, my dad was giving us a trickle down of generational trauma due to his own experiences but he made us almost afraid of boys then got mad at us saying we were ‘foolish’ to “live in fear”, never elaborated on what living in fear meant and ‘foolish’ is one of my trigger words because he used it to make me and my siblings feel like the most disgusting piece of worthless trash in the world then claiming that he didn’t. My dad never let me stay at someone’s house overnight if their dad or brothers were there, the brothers were often okay because it gave them an excuse to go to their own friend’s house for the night which was fun for all of us, and some of the dads were questionable. HOWEVER my dad also had to be convinced to let me stay at a friend’s house because her 3 year old brother was going to be home. I was 12 he was 3. My dad made it abundantly clear that he didn’t like the baby be around me. Fucking creepy. He called me selfish when I was a teenager I said I was never going to have kids because I don’t want them and that if I ever did get pregnant I would abort it and if that didn’t work I would give them to an adoptive family. He went on a whole lecture about how he wouldn’t allow me to get an abortion and if I didn’t want it to give it to him because blood or something but I just said I would rather die than be pregnant. He was upset when I got a hysterectomy as an adult and refused to freeze eggs. I also told my doctor that if I ever ‘changed’ my mind about sterilization I would just adopt 🤷 even if I did want kids I wouldn’t bio kids because everyone in my family has some sort of chronic ailments that cause immense pain and awfulness, I told my dad that in the unlikely event that I did adopt I would not want a baby I would adopt a teenager or something and they gave me some BS about how the teen would already “have problems” and I was like yeah maybe it would, I don’t know, benefit them to be loved and cared for? Also my dad went from “you can’t go on the exchange program to Germany because I would miss you too much” when I was 17 but a few months later I was given an opportunity for my friend’s grandpa to pay for me to travel to France to visit her home and family for her birthday (she was an exchange student with the USA) my dad said “you’re 18 make your own decisions, you don’t need my permission” even though literally one month prior to my flight to France my entire fucking family flipped their shit because I was going to work at a summer camp several hours away for a week (same one I went to on a yearly basis that literally saved my life by showing me different ways of life and different people than the sameness of the population 500 people of my hometown) well the driver got tired before we reached our pit stop for the night so we detoured and stayed at his parents house to sleep for a few hours before getting on the road to finish the journey in the morning. My whole goddamn family flipped their suit, my sister told my mom my other sisters got involved somehow, my dad got mad my mom called me in an unnecessary panic and my dad reamed me out over the phone where all of my friends could hear and they got mad saying things like “what do they think we’re gonna do? Why would we do anything?” Their feelings were hurt be my family treated them like some kind of predators even though my family knew them! When my family does shit like that it ruins the entire experience for me, I was having fun and then I just felt sick for the entire week and then more when I got home and got chewed out again. And a month later they gave no shits about me going to a different continent.

[@Brightheart_the_Sentinel]

Wow O_O Totally unhinged, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that... I hope you're free of that madness

[@UniDocs_Mahapushpa_Cyavana]

Parental obsession is scarily normalised, due to the parental bond being considered sacred. If your boyfriend/girlfriend acted like that, they would be in jail. Parental obsession needs no ulterior motive to be creepy and harmful. The child needs their personal space.

[@ToxicAudri]

Note for parents "We love you but we don't love your lifestyle" reads as "we don't really love you"

[@OtakuPalette-v-1]

My grandmother and I were in the car and I started playing I kissed a girl(I have always loved girls) and we got home and she forced me to read Leviticus 18-22. Though the vocabulary has been changed. At one point it said “man shall not lay with boy” speaking of pedophilia. But now I’m a lesbian who has a supportive mother who no longer walks on this earth and a father who has dated a man as a teen and an amazing gf. (I didn’t know I was gay when my grandmother did that)

[@telajänis]

I was terrified of coming out to my religious sister as a transwoman. I was never religious, and actually quit the church almost 20 years ago, but that was never an issue for her, we were still close. But there had been some hints in earlier years that she and her husband had some conservative views on lgbtq+ issues. I told her on our shared birthday (4 year age gap, I know, it's an amazing coincidence), and her eyes went wide, then she smiled and immediately got up to walk around the table and hug me. I was pretty choked up. Turned out they had done some growth while I wasn't looking. I was lucky, and I know a lot of people aren't, but religion definitely is not a guarantee hate.

[@JessieTrinket]

Damn, it's stories like these that make me glad that my father is more or less just unsupportive rather than being outright hostile. I came out as trans 2 months ago now and his reaction (and one of my brothers' reaction) was "Well I don't understand it and will never support it, but it's a free country." I've been strongly considering moving out at this point (I'm almost 26 and have enough money to do so) but also don't know if I really need to. I'm already dressing as me around the house and he doesn't charge me much for rent... I think as long as he just pretends it's not happening rather than trying to do anything about it I'll be fine. Back to the point at hand though, what I deal with is rough, but I couldn't imagine life if he was actively hostile towards me for being trans. My heart goes out to the people in these stories.

[@nikitatavernitilitvynova]

"Conversion therapy" is such a wild thing considering you're trying to convert someone out of a non issue that has no effect on them.

[@kellarweisgerber5340]

Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child. - OT