Jay Leno Best of Headlines Part 7

This edition of Jay Leno Headlines was owned by NBC Studios (1996-2004)
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Remembering the Best Headlines by Jay Leno of The Tonight Show.
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[@dougtaylor7724]

Way back when late night shows were funny.

[@madonnasbutthole9674]

You say that like Leno and his writers wrote the jokes.

[@ericsimonson8540]

Yep, now leftist messaging to the unsuspecting masses…

[@madonnasbutthole9674]

@@ericsimonson8540 Most of the free world has leftist views. The conservative ones make women cover their entire body.

[@ShanesTubes]

Ikr. Fuck James Corden.

[@stewie374]

And they weren't so political!!!!

[@GET-OUT-OF-LIFE-ALIVE]

i miss this show..i liked when he did jaywalking it was hilarious..

[@ellendolber2765]

Yes, that was funny but also scary that the American public are SO uninformed with basic facts!

[@taylortyler1867]

I liked it b/c Leno was funny, not a politically motivated douchebag like Colbert and Kimmel.

[@ronniewall1481]

DON'T YOU LOVE HOW HOLLYWOOD MAKES FUN OF US. THE SAME THAT CALL'S US BULLIES. BUT ARE OK WITH HELL'S KITCHEN.

[@ronniewall1481]

@@taylortyler1867 UNDERSTAND HIS JOB IS TO PUT DOWN THE PUBLIC.

[@taylortyler1867]

@@ronniewall1481 What are you even talking about?

[@zew1414]

Never thought I would miss Carson, Letterman and Leno more in my life

[@jimmiswift3232]

Feel the same, but Jay might hav been the best pf the three!

[@zew1414]

@@jimmiswift3232 yea I can somewhat agree, but I think they all did some things better than the rest. ✌️

[@j-man699]

@@jimmiswift3232 He was the worse. Too serious.

[@ryan422423]

@@j-man699 nah he was the best one of them all

[@wontsufferfools9332]

They'd be cancelled now

[@lgaines4086]

We had it so good back then and didn't even realize it.

[@lizofthelake4904]

I too miss Jay. Always funny, always classy. My how things how changed!

[@williamdavis9943]

Jay Leno was my favorite. A true comedian. Love his car collection.

[@user-cc6sz9ft2x]

Headlines was probably my favorite segment on Jay's show. Always loved the wedding announcements at the end.

[@andrewvelonis5940]

"Times will stay good if they don't turn bad" Now there's a song waiting to be written.

[@trainsgoingby3564]

Jay Leno was the best!

[@forgiven2812]

The good ol' days. Miss them.

[@robinhuff1867]

Still funny after all these years

[@johncholmes643]

Modern comedy has nothing on what we once had. I miss those days.

[@davidpar2]

There’s comedy in the modern day and then there’s “modern comedy.” The former can elicit a chuckle. The latter is not funny, because it’s not comedy; it’s agenda.

[@richardpatrick2852]

@@davidpar2 exactly. Dems and leftists, and their idea of "humor", are the last thing a decent person wants to look at before going to bed. Jay and Johnny and Dave(for the most part) knew that.

[@colerieger7300]

Yeah, comedy needs a guy reading typos on national TV again.

[@DanieltheTruebadour]

Regarding the "rectal,":True story: My friend, Sal, was teaching a college music class, referred to "Brahms' Rectum." Whereupon our friend Gene in the class piped up, "Which movement?" (Non-Musicians, it's Brahms' Requiem, which consists of seven sections called, yep, movements,)

[@samjordan8800]

At least the teacher didn't pipe back "Number *TWO* !"

[@DanieltheTruebadour]

@@samjordan8800 Lol. Very good - Sal would kick himself for not having thought of that. I'll have to add that to the story now. Cheers.

[@robadams5799]

I get it!

[@Draper1217]

This was fun to watch. I watched Leno in my 20s. How far late night comedy has fallen! I miss unwoke comedy.

[@therizinosaurus214]

I miss Jay's Headlines and Dave's top 10

[@abee1248]

Good old days of television when things were sane

[@eddiea3782]

Jay was soooo much better than the guy they have on there now.

[@AFloridaSon]

The newer generation really lacks in good comedians. There are some, so it is possible, but only a few are capable.

[@richardpatrick2852]

Not even close

[@kathy4349]

Night shows now are horrible...I miss Leno!

[@donaldlayton437]

I always loved when he did the wedding announcements.

[@douginfm3281]

I actually sent one of those in and it made it on the show. Can't remember what the names were though.

[@sandra.j.g.thompson9268]

There are no comedians now like Leno Thanks for resurrecting these videos. Times are getting tough in the world, and these lift you up and out of the misery! God bless and thank you.

[@KatrinaVoshell]

Reminds me of my Grandpa who would say “It’ll feel better once it stops hurting.”

[@claiborneeastjr4129]

When late night TV was really entertaining. Wish Jay would return to hosting the Tonight Show. I would watch it, but not until that happens. Jay was so talented, and the 99-cent store and Headlines were the best. I still enjoy them and laugh out loud.

[@tomservo75]

I feel bad for young people today who only have idiots like Kimmel and Colbert. I always thought Jay was underrated even in his time people were saying Letterman was better, but I disagree. I always found Letterman kind of stiff but Leno has the best delivery.

[@robertanderson2898]

I used to record these ALL THE TIME when I discovered Jay Leno.

[@lifesasoundtrack3595]

I miss Kevin’s laugh! It’s funny the things you remember

[@samjordan8800]

I like how he gasped on a story about finding 500,000 worth of marijuana growing on an Air Force base! I know a guy who used to be base security police. They always seemed to have the best weed!

[@lifesasoundtrack3595]

@@samjordan8800 😂😂

[@thegreatbamboozler4837]

Wow...simpler times!

[@chriswegner1611]

I know, right.

[@thegreatbamboozler4837]

@@chriswegner1611 Don't you miss the days when the biggest news story was a baby in a well or a blue dress????

[@nakayle]

This Headlines thing was so funny because it was real life mistakes- not something some writer dream up. Someone should revive this bit although they probably wouldn't be as good as Jay was doing it.

[@danfarris135]

I miss this.

[@danhutson3460]

These Headlines never get old.

[@PimpLenin]

“It depends on what your business is.” lol

[@mitch4527]

Jay was the last of the great late night hosts - he understood that his job was to make people laugh, not to preach politics.

[@boataxe4605]

He did plenty of Clinton jokes, in fact a few are on this very compilation.

[@charliep5139]

i was born in the mid 80s i remember when my parents to let me stay up and watch this when i was a kid. i thought it was so funny and still do!

[@robadams5799]

I'm back on Christmas Day and I especially appreciated the "Santagata-Biggerstaff" wedding.

[@stephenriggs8177]

As a former newspaper editor, I can assure you that these headlines are intentional. Puns make it all worthwhile.

[@pegs1659]

Of course. You gotta have fun sometimes lol.

[@jeffjordan2538]

Miss you Jay!

[@gtlfb]

Story in the food section of our local paper some years ago - "You Can Put Pickles Up Yourself"

[@vanessajazp6341]

This was always my favorite part of Jay Leno's Tonight Show

[@dilshan20]

Thanks for uploading!!! Brings back so many memories

[@markproulx1472]

Kevin’s laugh is just great.

[@BobK73]

Two of my teachers were featured on here for wedding announcements. Stan Harder and Laura Sharpe. The Sharpe & Harder wedding.

[@jimmiswift3232]

Thanks for the good memories!

[@brianjohnson7]

These are awesome...thanks so much! Grew up on Leno

[@ChicagoBulls1984]

Kevin's laugh!

[@Laceykat66]

They are all good, even the not-so-great ones.

[@samjordan8800]

Even the not-so-great ones are better than the best of what's on these days.

[@1951jmds]

I laughed for the full 30 minutes. Thanks. 😅

[@triciajohansen7124]

Loved this, best part of the show!!!!!😎❤

[@taylortyler1867]

The funniest one was calling the Ford Focus a chick maget(magnet). Either way, it's funny.

[@branchcovidian2001]

*EUROPEAN chick maget

[@taylortyler1867]

@@branchcovidian2001 Again, either way it's funny.😂 He could've said anywhere in the _UNIVERSE_ and saying a Ford Focus is a chick maget (or magnet) is still funny.

[@branchcovidian2001]

@@taylortyler1867 No, Taylor. It means the Ford Focus attracts European women....

[@taylortyler1867]

@@branchcovidian2001 Were you the guy who called 911 to report the woman who flashed her boobs?

[@nthgth]

Yeah not sure I want to go out with a woman who thinks a 2000 Focus is cool 😄

[@bobdobalina838]

Better days.

[@1gerger1]

anyone is better then Fallon,

[@chrismeulen8108]

than*

[@veritastriumphantchurch776]

Oh yeah, and Fallon was supposed to be the "young and hipper" guy About as funny as SNL today with their wonderful skits laughing at late term abortion

[@X_X69]

At this point anyone is better than all of them kimmel, Fallon, Corden and the other woke thrash as well.

[@420chaiguy8]

Fallon is so overrated...hes always fake laughing at shit too..

[@iowaguy6470]

​@@X_X69 Johnny Carson

[@rebekkad.2092]

Miss those good laughs.

[@111jimi]

I remember these segments......best part....lots o laughin'......

[@CraigGrant-sh3in]

I like how Kevin honestly laughs instead of like Ed McMann ,Doc and all of the other late night side kicks forced most of their laughs

[@peopleskarmasquad1042]

I miss Jay

[@darryl3422]

Jay did political humor but he was never vicious or mean and unlike today's "comedians" he was funny

[@richardpatrick2852]

Jay was the first person I ever heard use the term "undocumented democrats" for illegals. I still say that to this day!

[@richsackett3423]

@@richardpatrick2852 But that isn't mean huh. Fuck off.

[@According_To_Matt]

He wasn't one-sided. That was the difference. He made fun of Clinton and Bush. Hosts tonight won't dare make fun of dear leader.

[@mc76]

@@According_To_Matt Neither was trying destroy democracy. Things are a bit different now.

[@mikepalmer2219]

And he made jokes about any party or president. I cannot stand how everything became political to suck an extreme.

[@algeborusas1883]

The first headline was excellence in headline writing 👍

[@joegrahe3958]

I once sent a "Golden/Showers" wedding. I don't think it made it on the show

[@nthgth]

Lmao. I guess maybe they thought it was too raunchy for the show 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@terrypetersen2970]

Years ago there used to be a weekly paper where people would sell stuff. The best one started out as Wife not working need to sell. Then the gentleman listed tools and appliances.

[@labspeciman7402]

I forgot about these. Very funny..

[@matthoward8546]

"son never brag about sleeping with a girl,it can kill your chances with her friends" .

[@bettyegilliam]

Mario Youngblood’s comment should be the saying they put on their license plates.. “Oklahoma: you can pee anywhere”.

[@rinoz47]

Looooooove Champion!

[@Mary-jz9vr]

Thanks! 👍

[@henryhanes2322]

I went to school with Randy Leno and he has a brother named Jay from Richmond CA.

[@TheFrenchPug]

This gave me something to do for the last hour of the day. Thank you!

[@RichieMajaw]

You're so welcome!

[@misswendyjane4992]

Hilarious how the video quality makes it look like it's from 100 years ago.

[@nthgth]

Tape degrades over the decades, and so does the VCR that would've been used to digitize this

[@duaneburris7ate9]

That is really something😊 and yes... It could happen.

[@standoughope]

Thanks *Richie Majaw!* *[subscribed =)]*

[@lindaenglish3249]

Back when Late Night was actually funny

[@davidwiman5285]

Very cool thanks 👍

[@ChicoEscuela]

Thanks this was fun!

[@pdpap5303]

Maybe they should bring back late-night comedy.

[@kevinbasden9896]

If young people are the future of this country we are in deep poo poo.

[@GDaddyTx]

“Be nice to ugly girls.”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@pantherplatform]

Back in the day...

[@catmomma6942]

Oh my gosh!! So funny! Haven't laughed like this with a late night show since they went all political.

[@B-and-O-Operator-Fairmont]

I have an old TV listing from the local paper circa 1985. On "The 700 Club", Marital infidelity - A tribute to Helen Keller.

[@trevormoses5061]

1:45 You can pee anywhere 😆😄😂

[@ozbarge9761]

A degree in something? Sounds like a great plan to me! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Bendigo1]

Dude has goals!

[@teamrecon2685]

My father sent a headline in that used on his show...I'm watching these to see if I can catch it.

[@kathystahl4690]

Miss when we all could just laugh an not be so THIN SKINED

[@boataxe4605]

6:30: Reminds me of Alex Lifeson’s Hall of fame speech.

[@dukeviking]

yes! Long Live RUSH!

[@danlayne9436]

As an Oklahoman.... yep. Anywhere.

[@erictaylor5462]

23:20 Bears don't need weapons, they have bear hands.

[@Spittin_Chiglets]

The clowns in today's late night talk shows aren't in the same league as Leno. Not even close.

[@thomascefalo938]

hate to agree with some of the comments, but I totally loved and stayed up to watch Johnny Carson and Jay Leno. Since then, do not.

[@artyzinn7725]

newspapers, all but gone, who'd imagine ...

[@According_To_Matt]

$9999 would barely buy you a 2000 Ford focus today.

[@nthgth]

Sad but true

[@oneolddog8809]

Love this stuff , but the mistakes in editing the ads astounds me. 😂😂😂

[@ant-1382]

These videos are good when they are short. 30 mins get a bit yawn.

[@janishart5128]

Janelle Pattison (5:46) looks just like ME, only a few years younger! Not the first time I've seen myself in a video! In another one, I was in Germany!! WEIRD!!

[@wandacrowder81]

With Jay being a comedian he completely missed the advertisers joke at 8:00. Mother-in-law and the back of a truck was a intended pun on the advertisers part.

[@jjohnston94]

He also completely missed the sub-headline of "A clean getaway" in the article about the mop thief at 12:09.

[@dannyjacobs6734]

Jay without denim outfit?

[@randywilson944]

It’s OK to pee anywhere in Oklahoma 😂

[@pi_beta7306]

"Free 2 liter pop with purchase of home." If it's Coca-Coal, sign me up.

[@annandrus3030]

Pepsi is better!

[@nthgth]

Make mine a real-sugar Pepsi and we got a deal

[@raybyrnes3516]

$50 a year = 2 cents per hour

[@stephaniemorrissey5114]

No...it equals one-fifth of a cent per hour.

[@TheLukeGrey]

02:23 Emerald Downs is a horse track, why are they serving "hors" lol

[@tomy5868]

want fries with that Bob... or... welcome our next guest....?

[@suewills7099]

It can happen yep it can happen.🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@veritastriumphantchurch776]

Would someone explain to us why this hilarious man was taken down ? I''ll tell you why. Because the world celebrates only the mediocre and originality is hunted down like rare wildlife on the African plain It all just proves that the swamp is all around us, not just in Washington

[@TheInkPitOx]

He retired. He wasn't forcibly removed from television. There are still some good latenight comedians today. We still have Colbert, Kimmel, and Trevor Noah. Seth Meyers is good too with his Closer Look, similar to what Trevor does. I like to describe Trevor as the 60 Minutes of latenight comedy. He's funny while also being very informative, and his backstory is amazing.

[@veritastriumphantchurch776]

@@TheInkPitOx The ones you describe all hated Leno with a passion and worked tirelessly to get him off from the day he took over from Carson. Kimmel is still attacking him to this day Letterman was the "anointed" heir apparent and when he was passed over, Carson and all the left wing drivel you described above went into action to get him off, ratings notwithstanding. It was very similar to how the swamp went after Trump from day one Yes there is a Hollywood swamp, just like there's a Washington swamp. It's the elitist mob from New York's upper west side and Silicon Valley Everyone else is seen as just a stupid hick from fly over country.

[@wyldelf2685]

Your right , fully agree 👍 NBC big wigs ( budget and wage concern) Strongly Encouraged Leno to ""retire""wich Jay did immediately , , so he did his "garage show" and joined Tim Allan on his show "Last Man Standing" , , , , hell even Letterman is doing a streaming show nowadays , , , 👍👽

[@billmeade9029]

There was one he did that wasn't on here that I no where it came from, it said Big Ugly woman killed in Logan County , there's a place in WV called Big Ugly I'm not sure what County it's in but it's not far from Logan , I heard the family sued the newspaper for printing that , it's kinda funny but probably not to the family 😆🥺🤔😁

[@michellegulden1052]

I knew someone named Hope, she married a man with the last name Sank.

[@robadams5799]

I went to college with a young lady named. . . ready? . . . Eunita Mann.

[@katymvt]

@@robadams5799 At least it wasn't Anita Man. People would have thought she was desperate instead of just judgy.

[@fredmckinney8933]

They never did get engaged, but I know a guy who was a youth pastor who was a single guy at the time. His name's Justin Church, and he was, at the time, dating a young lady named Lori Black. Had they gotten married, it woulda been, in spite of them both being white...the Black-Church wedding. Yayus, brothuhs and sistuhs!