Joey Diaz RANTS About Restaurants, Carne Asada Fries, and Cheese

[@jaydixon9452]

Joey talks about sandwiches like a mobster talking about guns😂😂😂

[@allaroundentertainment7230]

Broads*

[@playaajax8750]

@Rick Astley drugs are against the code you schmuck

[@HowardHamlinHHM]

Gabagool*

[@mikealvitre6396]

@@HowardHamlinHHM 🤣💯

[@djkd21]

Haha so true. I'm From Jersey and he has the same voice my Uncle Billy had who was involved with the mob. My father is from Bergan County. I'm from Ocean County and now live in Houston lol so I understand everything he says. Reminds me of my family 🤣🤣

[@morethanthrills1616]

“the stench of his life is still going to touch the sandwich” absolutely incredible.

[@FWReacts]

tremendous

[@buffalomind6838]

Hahaha Joey is hopefully making us realize that peer pressure should be given the middle finger if it even needs to come to that point.

[@steveweatherly1976]

Priceless!

[@cbundercover3458]

🤣🤣🤣

[@user-sw1fz9vc6r]

Hes right...

[@rogerhudson4919]

Joey 'Sliced THIN' Diaz

[@DC-hd5bo]

Roger Hudson lmao

[@bigguy8]

Joey "fuck cheddar" diaz

[@jzs5035]

fuckin tHin

[@Unknown-Ways]

Tremendous

[@raraavis8996]

5 FUCKIN DOLLARS!!

[@johnfernandez2060]

His white Hollywood people impressions get me every single time 😂

[@ricardopuente2465]

John Fernandez the way his fuckin lips bro!! That face gets me every fuckin time too!! 😭☠️ then when he adds an “OMG” 😂

[@JohnDoeTheGoodGuy]

The Gentiles lmao

[@Alex10daysago]

He’s imitating the gays.

[@jb2166]

"My friend julius..." Lol

[@GR8FUL.]

@@Alex10daysago exactly,..... Hollywood

[@McCANTS313]

When Lee isn’t 2,000mg deep, he actually keeps up and feeds Joey some good openings. Seen maybe 150 videos and I’ve never seen him half this clear lmao

[@jayt4801]

got that right, normally he just sits there with his eyes half open and giggles

[@JStock1032]

I love Diaz but Lee is definitely his little bitch.

[@emilioacosta1121]

McCANTS313 I miss seeing them in the deep murky waters but yea ur right about Lee 🤣

[@chipskylark8869]

His strong point is talking about food

[@JimmyTurner]

Its funny cause its true

[@jasonwawryk3821]

This one is a Hall Of Fame food rant. This man is a national treasure. Tremendous.

[@scottysatpanalysis]

Stench of his life for 5 dollas lmao

[@giovannivillamizar3590]

Lee looks scared all the time

[@buffalomind6838]

I love when Joey speaks in general, but when the volume Rises to where you’d do think the other person is a block away is hilarious.

[@Space_Absorber69]

johnwayne87 😂 the devil coksuka Joey Diaz

[@steveweatherly1976]

"Jared tricked an entire nation into eatin' that horse meat." Too funny dude... Unreal...

[@mrjester2748]

Joey "Shredded fuckn deluce" Diaz

[@jb2166]

"5 fingers, 5 brothers..?" Does he mean 5 guys? Lmfao

[@mr.tellithowitisz]

LMFAOOO that got me so good 🤣🤣😂😂😂

[@ShirleyTSaint]

“And the stench of his life”. I’m using this line 😂

[@jampers42]

Tremendous line... really feel that one

[@Luay91]

Omg it’s Shirley , do you still give out free blowjobs?

[@streetcat957]

Trust me. I am a pest control Operator for 20 years. I barely eat at ANY restaurant anymore. I have seen it all .

[@zaofactor]

Truuuu

[@crazyjoedavola5430]

Hmmm...that makes me not want to eat anywhere now

[@ivecommentedonyoutube7604]

Make videos on crazy stories and things you’ve seen - would b good! 🐀

[@amoryunidad]

Second that, I delivered food for 3 years. Out all the restaurants I delivered to in those years, only one of them was legit clean. I've seen all as well, from the veggies cutter dripping sweat on the food to rats and rouches. Same here, I am not eating out anymore.

[@MichaelP-ke1tm]

@@amoryunidad Cus you probably live in a shit hole in New York. East side is trash. West coast has no rats

[@Goyahkla6772]

Lol American cheese and mayonnaise is more white than cheddar cheese

[@tania8257]

Kody Benson agreed

[@elcypher6102]

@Mosaab 😂

[@well.thy.one.]

Kody Benson lol good point

[@michaelscott-joynt3215]

What is this even supposed to mean? Cheddar originated in England, home to some of the most literal white people on earth. And it sounds like none of you have a clue that mayonnaise is popular around the world, particularly in Europe (where it originated). It's like fucking Reddit in this comment section.

And I hate both but I am a red blooded American

[@MrIWannaLaugh]

3:46 Gotta love how Joey's blowin' smoke like a fucking dragon, laying down the law of what meats go with Swiss cheese and rye bread. Then he interlaces his fingers, settles into his classic dropped-voice, storytelling position, as if he's going back to his escapades in Snowmask Village in 1982, and tells Lee, "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

[@BigWoppenheimer]

lol you stupid 😂 facts

[@MrIWannaLaugh]

@Erikk Hyndman My bad.

[@DanMartin67]

Hey says it like Carmine Falcone talking to Bruce at the beginning of Batman begins😂. I was expecting Joey to say “and you’ll always FEAR what ya don’t understand kid”

[@wilmernoel25]

😂😂😂 love it

[@jetPeru777]

shaaavved lettuce

[@deebee2019]

Joey almost had a heart attack at 9:10 after lee said "but you have to go to store".😂

[@musicman123ization]

“WHO GIVES A FUCK”

[@omarmeza7749]

FIVE FOCKING DOLLAAZ!!!!!lmao

[@bobriley000444]

Nothing Lee ever says gets approval by Joey he always acts like Lee is on totally the wrong path lol

[@nunyabusiness8538]

that’s the dynamic to their comedic duo that they both understand

[@BigWoppenheimer]

@@nunyabusiness8538 smart man in a world of oblivion

[@justincostner8233]

M I

[@Charlie-de7kk]

I'm a chef and take it from me a lot of people who work in kitchens are lazy, that's just say that and I can't eat out because I know what happens inside kitchen

[@brutalbasspro]

I stopped cooking a few years ago and started bartending, servers are much worst than cooks as far as lazy fucks go... I'm sure you know though.

[@TomCL-vb6xc]

Big C At the end of the day I know exactly how tarnished the food is by the time it reaches me but like Joey said, I’m a soldier and if it tastes good I don’t care if it gives me aids.

[@PortCityBalrog]

Fuck Restraunts, Ill make my own meal

[@squirreltastic-k5v]

Same. It pays low so it draws people who DON'T GIVE A FUCK

[@cakepie3558]

I use to dishwash at this pretty big Sports bar and the line cool would always be weighing Coke & selling it out the back . And doing it in the kitchen smh . Eventually they called him out and fired him cause everyone knew .

[@prestonoch7324]

Him calling 5 guys 5 brothers is hilarious and him saying they have terrible frys😂😂

[@Zephyrus47]

"5 fingers" 😂

[@MrPassword30]

Imagine if Lee was your waiter. Hahaha

[@mattkoonts3007]

Ohh shit 😂😂😂

[@cloudydolphin4344]

Who would’ve know

[@therecklessengineer5796]

it'd be gone before he gets there

[@agentfernandez1473]

my first thought

[@agentfernandez1473]

This comment still kills me to this day 😩😩😩

[@PuToKienLeaEstOo]

7:14 “If I knew now , what I knew at your age” -Joey Diaz 🤔 🤣🤣🤣

[@kendryfranco9757]

so Joey has a personal vendetta against cheddar but is okay with AMERICAN????

[@gamegye8]

Kendry Franco who’s josh

[@kendryfranco9757]

gamegye8 auto correct

[@papa_pt]

cheddah on a burger beats american

[@GK-qc5ry]

American cheese has no taste whatsoever. Cheddar tastes way better.

[@DJFaNaTiiC]

Nothing melts like American. It has its place

[@ZUKITHRASH1]

"5 fn dollars..your selling your soul" ....priceless wisdom!

[@MrJamPepper]

tattoo of an alligator on his neck line killed me LMAO

[@potterj09]

haha hilarious, & Lee was totally tripped out haha

[@steveweatherly1976]

OMG - I pissed my pants laughing on that "tattoo of an alligator on his neck" line...

[@devinsilva2102]

1:55 “you got more hairs in your mouth then the OJ crime scene.” Dude haha

[@moodyblues5150]

Pastrami on rye, little mustard, that's it on with ya day. Maybe a little corn beef hash depending on what time of day it is.

[@safemoondan6638]

Moody Blues Uncle Joey doesn’t associate with hash unless it gets him stoned to the gills

[@mr.smithgnrsmith7808]

To the gills Cawksucka

[@sneakysealpuptv9379]

I love how Joey always has a very strong opinion on everything 😂 from coke to food

[@ArcadiaAISongs]

i love that shit fam

[@jlorenzo4355]

8:45 “two thousand million people” 😂 that’s a new one

[@TheSpritz0]

Joey is RIGHT about the cheese, I tried what he said and it REALLY works the taste is MAGNIFIED!!!

[@TheRealMEEDABEE]

When Joey nearly blows out the mic, you know the wisdom's getting good and you better start listening up

[@SwamiNetero]

the entire southwest would like a FEW words with joey for this carne asada fry disrespect 😂😂😂

[@garythesnail7631]

What's carne asade

[@dfrnt.]

@@garythesnail7631 damnnnnn bro....missing out

[@dfrnt.]

Joey is still gonna tell that to you’re face so in reality Joey still wins😂😂

[@ShakeItJordie1987]

Them shits disgusting. Soggy ass greasy fries. TF!?

[@AZOMBIERYO]

@@garythesnail7631 its mexican grilled skirt steak

[@skelly55]

Man I miss these two together. This duo rivals the likes of Jordan & pippen & Kobe & shaq

[@kingcam0775]

Magic and Kareem, lmao. The chemistry is perfect.

[@frankvalentino1121]

💯

[@DC-hd5bo]

Lol this rant is so funny, Uncle joey hates Subway fo real

[@jonathanstache1634]

I could listen to Joey talk about food all day long

[@Faithmaxxing23]

Meee tooooo nigga!

[@erikgonzales2086]

Five fingers five brothers 😂😂😂 it’s five guys

[@steveweatherly1976]

LMFAO! Joey makes those grammatically inept "fax paus" all the time... They usually occur whenever he gets into his little rants and he's on a kick ass tirade... I noticed the five fingers "error," during this podcast, as well... But Joey keeps rolling, so I keep listening... LOL Even during one of his classic bits, in which the podcast airs (over and over) between shows; contains a HUGE "mess up:" ""I got friends at Harvard... I'm like Garth Brooks, bitch... I got friends in high places, baby."' I die laughing, every time I hear that little clip... If you've ever actually heard that song, it's: I got friends in LOW places... not HIGH places! But that's okay whenever you're uncle Joey!

[@ledlg1676]

joey should get Big Herc from Fresh Out on the show

[@clavididk1236]

Yesss!

[@medievalknievel]

Internet Guy two Big Macs !!

[@skylerprenosil]

Dude that would be amazing

[@KingLouOG]

Yeah would be lit haha

[@Sumthing2do]

Big herc just cares about busting cheeks

[@theallmightypapifan]

Been listening for YEARS and always end up listening to these. So fucking funny.

[@kr00m]

I’m not taking cheese advice from someone that recommends american cheese.

[@ninety_three_93]

that stinky cheese gonna have you shitting yourself if you not use to it. American is the way to keep it safe!

[@michaelfleming8490]

A-fucking-men. American sucks. Gimme Gouda. Sharp Cheddar. Swiss. Brie.

[@kr00m]

@@ninety_three_93 I’m lactose intolerant, American cheese makes me shit myself. I can eat small amounts of natural aged (real) cheese without issue.

[@justind4763]

Depends on the brand. He aint wrong.

[@boozycruze7679]

But have you tried it SLICED THIN

[@DouEditz]

Uncle Joey talking straight through the riiiippp......respect!!

[@CarlosGonzalez-tr6um]

Lee:"but then you have to go to the store" Joey: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@johnstonm85]

"The stench of his life" lmao , one of the greatest lines ever

[@normandy2501]

I felt that with a passion 🤣, but damn it if I don't get lazy some days lol.

[@ArcadiaAISongs]

@@normandy2501 your tired fam ...take a breather yall earned it 🥰

[@romeroj4871]

Joey “It Could Be A Pork Knuckle” Diaz

[@steveweatherly1976]

The "pork knuckle" line was epic, also... But it was just one of Joey's MANY hilarious (obscure) statements from this rant... I can't keep up with 'ole uncle Joey!

[@garythesnail7631]

I wish I could talk about things that annoy me with this level of confidence. My friends will just be like "wtf calm down"

[@silverapples75]

Comes with age dude, when you stop giving a fuck what your friends think.

[@EireHammer]

If Joey's friends tried the "wtf calm down" Joey would notch it up with "coçksucker i am calm, you don't want to see me angry no-no Uncle joey is calm though now let me tell you about the time..."

[@bamtasticwow4879]

This aged really well😂 Now we’re all eating outside

[@mic7able]

Cheddar from actual Cheddar would blow Joey's mind.

[@maxfrecklington9946]

Mick G. English mature cheddar for sure no American cheese unless it’s in a burger

[@mic7able]

Max Frecklington When all this shit is over I'm gonna do my best to send Joey some real fucking Cheddar Cheese.

[@maxfrecklington9946]

Mick G. For sure man 😂😂

[@silverapples75]

Extra Mature with the crystals...Joey, Joey, Joey. Never tasted real Cheddar.

[@blackkkabllakkcaa]

Cheddar gorge is worth a visit.

[@NewMafiaOrder]

this is such an intense conversation about sandwiches hahaha I love it

[@McFreeny]

Joey D is the example of just be yaself fuck it! Good stuff my guy

[@BRAINFxck10]

Lee always agrees with Joey even though he likes everything that pisses Joey off 🤣

[@nosoyhaternosoyhater1396]

Joey: Listen... let me explain something to you that you NEED TO UNDERSTAND ME: stops working to listen.

[@yamuthastwat123]

I love uncle Joey and Lee and the church, but American cheese uncle Joey?? Damn son... That's just garbage.

[@DragonAurora]

Yea I almost spit out my beer when he said that shit. I can think of like 10 different types of cheese that are WAY better than American.

[@FatherAxeKeeper]

spoken by someone who clearly isnt from jersey.

[@drebodollaz3504]

“It doesn’t cool down, your breathe, your germs are sticking to my food “

[@jameshaynes6992]

My Advice... 1. Listen carefully / intently to Uncle Joey. 2. Question nothing. Nod in approval. 3. Do the opposite.

[@marcalan1198]

He yelled and lee blinked 3 time's. LMAO

[@MisterMxyzptlk1972]

Joey "One eye on the waiter, the other on the door" Diaz.

[@AlienCircus]

..5:45....the open faced sandwich "that's the way america.." 🤣🤣

[@Behardy24]

Best line 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@naturecalls81]

I love it when joey yells at lee

[@nelsonreyes2070]

Lee flinches everytime Joey's talks

[@bigguy8]

Hey joey, they're also breathing all over your plate too, better hope a nose crumb don't fly out and add some extra flavor

[@chriscee3981]

He eats them snot rockets

[@bigguy8]

@@chriscee3981 only back in the day when they were laced with nose clams

[@thatdude169]

One of my favorite videos I've ever seen

[@sethlutz4694]

Joey leaving brown mustard off that Swiss and roast beef sandwich dropped his street cred.

[@ketchupsos5817]

HAHAHAH this clips the best one yet!

[@purplehaze165]

"THE STENCH OF HIS LIFE" LMAOOOOO!!! I CANT FUCKIN BREATHE!!!

[@bigdonrich]

I love when Joey start ranting about food

[@edwincornejo4518]

Tatto of a alligator on his neck lmao funniest thing ever

[@BendySendy]

the way uncle joey says "you have no idea what you're getting yourself into" makes me want to make a sandwich right now

[@danioh3687]

5:20 look at the person that suggested it ahaha 😆 its Tremendous

[@danillodossantos4735]

I’d love to see Joey as a celebrity judge on some food show. His criticisms would put Gordon Ramsey to shame

[@jamesmichaelfrank]

Joey Diaz could shut down restaurants if he was a judge on a food show 😂

[@thesnorman5666]

That voice and face he makes while Making that voice at 3:02 is HILARIOUS I die laughing at it whenever he does it, someone needs to make a compilation of times he’s done that lol I know it’s been more then once.

[@litofaneto2435]

lmao right! too funny

[@deefault6236]

"5 FUCKIN DOLLAS"

[@GhostofGomezDawkins]

Joey said the next ten years I live here, I think him moving back to Jersey will add another ten years to his life. I'm happy for him being able to start his career and reach another level in California, but he's meant to be in the state that raised him and I will always hope the best for him.

[@salvatorewilk4220]

I’ve heard this glorious cheese conversation before 😂 “American sliced thin”

[@salvatorewilk4220]

It’s not even real cheese but okay Joey

[@andykerste1]

Lmao,he was going in about the cheese😂

[@loghawgtv]

I died when Joey said “pork knuckle” 😂😂😂😂

[@liamkav9486]

Joey is so intense! "You have no idea what your getting yourself into"....😅

[@prod.surgical5284]

The way Joey mimicks Lee is the funniest shit ever 😂😭

[@DanRossGraphics]

I still find these rants HILARIOUS no matter how absurd his statements and opinions can be.

[@cobracommando0615]

When you go to Subway...its shredded fuckin lettuce...LMAO!!!

[@danielserpa6481]

Thank you for doing what you do, joey and lee

[@DedePerez-xr1xv]

😂I love 💕 how he fucks with Lee

[@AndreySomov1]

We need a cook book by Uncle Joey

[@Alpha_November6996]

The name of the book: “have good taste in food or go fuck your mother!”

[@Gblonkers]

It’ll just be various different meats in between 2 slices of bread

[@YourBoyWang]

Fuck the cook book. I want a fuckin cooking show or him eating food and just talking trash about it.

[@betrousaltaweel]

It wont be very good it'll just be a few sandwiches, a couple of steaks and a few fried breakfast dishes.

[@saucybigmac5]

You can absolutely put A LOT of things on fries😂😂love uncle Joey

[@potterj09]

toasted seasame seed roll with a sprinkle of brown sugar, 2 slices of dasolme honey ham, 1 slice triple smoked, 2 staggered sliced dark american cheddar, like a docta !!!!

[@cm2208]

strong

[@twoscoops4181]

391 is probably one of the best Church episodes

[@redram5150]

American Cheese is a blend of mild cheddar cheeses. Joey needs some Cooper Sharp cheese in his life.

[@steveweatherly1976]

"... more hairs than the ***king O.J. crime scene."

[@Venture_Warrior]

Im intermittent fasting and this video made me hungry AF

[@safetystevens]

Robinhood Warrior lol

[@Venture_Warrior]

@@safetystevens I had to go to Five Guys Burgers After this vid !

[@truekarma]

What’s the name of the burger place that Joey keeps mentioning?

[@MrJintensive]

Joey is right. They stop the server to talk and spit in your food.

[@raoulduke2625]

I love that he’s such a savage that mundane things like loading ur pipe and hitting, are done almost subconsciously....... It’s like some folks reflexes like breathing or swallowing, Joey can load and hit without pause or loss of thought Tremendous

[@mvozaru8925]

Carne asada fries are fire 🔥. I’ll let it side for uncle Joey but everyone else need to watch their mouths.

[@tommyfu9271]

People who say things are "like fire" don't have opinions that mean anything.

[@mvozaru8925]

@@tommyfu9271 and people who make retarted remarks like yourself don’t amount to an opinion.

[@drizzzydrake96]

Bro Joey Diaz makes my fucking day so much better whenever I’m down love this guy

[@dbsven7017]

That's why I like Mongolian bbq and pizza places. Seems like the least live germy way to go.

[@vovasemenenko9458]

What is the burger place in jersey called?

[@highnumber9494]

I completely agree with Joey about eating outside. I don't get its popularity.

[@antonymircev1]

i feel like its an american thing

[@colonelreb1014]

Only makes sense when you go to the beach.

[@ChrisGoldie]

Its a ambiance thing. Get a nice breeze while talking to a friend. I never did it but i assume its a good change of pace

[@Sweetbunnibabi]

People are lazy!!

[@Becauseimme]

I miss The Church, LA was a great place when the Comedy Store Mafia was in town. It just felt a little lighter in the city.

[@LorenzoMarch]

The stench of his life 😂😂😂

[@ricardozambrano72]

11:51 the best part!! Now, I know I should avoid Five Fingers Burgers 🍔 LOL

[@Christopher-pe6zj]

The laugh at the end kills me everytime.

[@HyperionBadger]

Tattoo of an alligator lmfao I'm dying

[@Ynotnow9900]

Cheddar is not Swiss. Cheddar is not muenster.

[@ROBERT-ml7ml]

WRONG!! CHILI CHEESE FRIES ARE THE BOMB! AND ITS CHEDDAR CHEESE!

[@3941602]

This clip is incredible