Joey Diaz Tells Hilarious Shit Stories "He's Changing Flavors" - Joe Rogan

Joey Diaz tells funny shit stories with Tom Segura.
Taken from Joe Rogan Experience #1,000.

[@TheJoeGratta]

I’m telling my kids this is the first meeting of congress.

[@Shubham.Katyal]

🤣🤣🤣🤣👌🏼💯🗿

[@msannthrope_2049]

😂😂😂

[@bigcityclipz7033]

lmao

[@lccody1537]

We’d get more shit done if it was.

[@kevinobryant48]

Founding Father’s

[@FrooNash]

“It Lubes Up Your Pipes” *SHART NOISE* 8:10

[@thedude5293]

Oh my haha

[@Grandmaster_Vic]

I had to pause the video like 4 times. I have never cried so much from laughter in a very long time. Joey Diaz is a fucking legend 😂😂

[@PDG_]

*OMG he's changing flavours* I fucking died

[@RationalGaze216]

Imagine being friends with Joey Diaz, you'd just be dying laughing all the time 😂

[@jordanohare4408]

Best 20mins of my life

[@thunderbeast2126]

I couldn’t breathe when I watched this video from laughing so hard lmao

[@triippy...6476]

love seeing Joey so amused by Joe at 10:50 lmaoo

[@exp037a]

Joey Diaz is the king of dirty comedy.

[@retrogamerfan123]

I love doin those big shits only to feel my stomach churn and wave 2 begins after that I feel so light and proud of my accomplishment :)

[@vincetopic589]

No wonder joe loves this guy so much

[@bobwehadababyitzaboy5872]

1.8K comments so this won't be seen, but I have to say it. I'm not sure I've ever laughed that hard in my life.

[@GumbyJumpOff]

This clip is free therapy of the highest order.

[@skykn1ght78]

Agreed. And I’m a therapist!

[@michaelhull6541]

I need to see your therapist, mine is more so just talking about my problems.and breathing techniques. My therapist doesn't have me laughing my ass off.

[@michaelhull6541]

@@Blitz-dm3kv not at all man, you got me!

[@SkylineGTRB26]

of da highest ORDA!

[@dragospahontu]

Best video in the history?

[@Trxxpa]

Her: I bet he's cheating on me rn Him and the boys:

[@juansanchez6382]

This deserves more likes

[@RC-md2yx]

*Farting

[@Rocky-oq9cy]

@@RC-md2yx You tried making a funny joke. That's all that matters. It's ok buddy.

[@KoolRanqe]

Talking bout taking shits 🤣

[@ricosmoove2736]

Literally 😂😂😂😂

[@gehrigcupo6783]

I love how Joey stays quiet for like 10 seconds and comes back into the conversation with the funniest shit you’ve ever heard in your life lol

[@Ifrekinlovecookies]

He's lives a long life he probably has to recall and spin things a little

[@Dankdalorde]

I read this in his voice

[@dragospahontu]

He is absolutely the best!

[@zproductions5747]

Right all of sudden “I did take shit for week

[@Nobody-mu9hd]

Anything anyone talks about I’m sure he’s waiting to see if he can relate to the topic but he has a large variety of stories to tell that are funny.

[@coreymineard]

And I blew this fart, Joe Rogan... 🤣 🤣 🤣

[@krazykdon]

Hahah

[@VonTaylan]

I shit my pants from laughing on that part.

[@hassaanawan367]

that was so bad

[@sabbasarishvili6677]

Dude I'm having trouble breathing I'm laughin so harda :D:D:DD:

[@zekinumanoglu3152]

This is the greatest conversation in podcast history. EDIT: Wow, thx for the likes guys x

[@crissy2420]

Yes. Yes it is

[@Herreraluis106]

You gotta hear Joey tell the story about the one legged girl on ymh podcast

[@HarryManback0]

Any episode of YMH is funnier than this, it's by far the funniest podcast ever.

[@brysonfirosz2384]

Idk the tragedy of Darth plaguis the wise would be a pretty damn good convo on a podcast

[@lonewarrior3733]

Without a doubt. I approve this shit.

[@psycold]

I love how Joey addresses his close friends by their full names.

[@dsandoval9396]

i've noticed how they all call each other by their full names

[@idkdrew]

Joey "Joe Rogan" Diaz

[@Wtf123388]

Probably because he's known so many people throughout his life lol but I know what you mean

[@alduins_orange8171]

Respect

[@mnb9162]

Yeh. He can be talking about the most disgusting stuff but as soon as he says 'Joe Rogan' it makes it sound respectful.

[@ale58301]

"Some animal took a shit back there" Technically not untrue

[@davidolsen6328]

Andy Lee lol

[@brainmushpod]

Haha it looked like someone got shot in the head.

[@ManjotSingh-ih7gi]

Andy Lee I

[@carrrexx7190]

A Joeysarus

[@asadkhan-qm1my]

@Andy Lee that's the best kind of correct.

[@mikekoenig6467]

That Reeses peanut buttah fume leaks out 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@deepanshpathak]

3:59

[@aaroneusjames2342]

Joey "and i blew this fart Joe Rogan" Diaz

[@PsychoticBedroomRecordings]

"I wake my wife up and tell her honey, you gotta inhale this one"

[@ellisjackson3355]

Lol

[@sabbasarishvili6677]

I can barely breath :D:D:D:D

[@theacaciamatrix1537]

@@ellisjackson3355 dutch oven

[@ellisjackson3355]

@@sabbasarishvili6677 wife can barely breathe too

[@NavidKhan84]

Lmao..I used to take my ex wifes hand when she was asleep put it in my pants, just on top of my ass...and rip a big one!!

[@DanG6996]

This is absolutely hands down the funniest shit I’ve ever heard in my life.

[@Lorendrawn]

This is hands down the shittiest fun I've ever had!

[@sammysstopmotionoas2004]

Oh my God I was on the floor barely breathing from laughter.

[@Iwasthewalrus]

Which one?

[@dragospahontu]

Best video on KZbin?

[@eamoman651]

I hope ye all go and watch his Joey's story about the one legged woman 😂😂😂

[@jakelandshark1143]

62, stoned, and laughing at fart stories. Life is good.

[@repeHAX]

@Alex Briggs nice brain

[@armaliteslungsentinal7352]

Alex Briggs No way ur that stupid

[@ameerahtoyfunreview9674]

Dude hows near death feel

[@dy9amo127]

isn't he 55?

[@ლ.ლ-ნ7ძ]

MercuryOnCFW lol who? Did he name names or he is he referring to himself...

[@zacharyvanoostenrijk93]

I farted a huge fart one time that was so strong my neighbor below me called me to find out if everything was alright. I squeezed my a$$cheeks into the floor, and it made a boom that shook the entire apartment. Best fart ever

[@efrainsolano2847]

Ayo😭I would've been on the floor laughing

[@xx3astmanxx287]

If i ever heard anything like that I’d probably literally die of loling 😂

[@ChuckBoi8545]

This is exactly the conversation that men have while girls think we're talking about their boobs or something

[@deltablaze77]

This is what guys talk about just so you ladies know.

[@bobby9847]

DeltaBlaZe77 if you only knew what ladies talk about when we're not around.

[@MsMorbeg]

And girls too, believe me!

[@MrRaErickson]

DeltaBlaZe77 truth

[@rachellandherr5262]

....ladies too.

[@jonholmes3013]

DeltaBlaZe77 yup grab Em by the pussy

[@TheLegalPirate]

"Omg its changing flavors" I cried laughing for like 7 minutes wtf

[@dragospahontu]

OMFG i died

[@EFFeCTED18]

I can't even

[@nat2nathan2005]

I woke my girlfriend up, I laughed so hard.

[@HelvetesSkitApa]

he's*

[@gerardgomez4075]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😅😅😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@LucasPalYT_Official]

Joey hissing at his cats had me dying

[@DarkLordofTheSith69]

913dodger its me ya fucks!!

[@staghead8710]

"It's me, ya fuck!!" lol

[@shrutefarms4741]

And his wiggling legs!

[@Blaze-ing]

12:20 “oh my god he’s changing flavors” story

[@MF-rtard89]

Thanks

[@oceanmansbreakfast3628]

👑

[@bodenlanglois6032]

Joey should be in a fabreeze commercial. " I don't live with stink" 😆

[@zimmerman1031]

Joey Diaz's wife is a lucky man.

[@Never24Summer]

demontrace lol nice

[@johnl1686]

Bwhahaha

[@filibertogarciasi]

She must smell like joey.

[@riffraff9070]

Hahahahaha hahahahaha!

[@renel8964]

His wife is a man 🤣🤣🤣

[@kevinbacon8716]

Poop stories never stop being funny

[@rutosdf4310]

Steve Lattimer facts homie. The funniest shit since preschool

[@Jar0fMay0]

It's funny, no matter where you live around the world, shit jokes are funny as hell.

[@ultraspider3836]

Steve Lattimer 666 likes

[@ultraspider3836]

I changed that to save you

[@jakehenry616]

Yup. Pushing 30 and I can't ever not laugh at farts and poop.

[@michaelhenderson322]

Joey Diaz toilet training his son "Don't let your ball's stay in the bowl son, hold them up."

[@jamesroboyle]

Balls*

[@johnnyrafael8758]

“In case someone sucks ya dick, now flush cocksucka”

[@benoliver5593]

I need that shirt

[@thedude5293]

@@johnnyrafael8758 I'm wheezing

[@chanimarie6692]

I've watched this several times; I'm still in tears from laughing! And yes, I'm a 40-year-old woman with the humor of an adolescent boy--and proud of it!

[@SouthoftheHill]

We grow old but never really grow up!

[@willm3027]

That’s what’s up never met a chick like you

[@muhammadputera6593]

@@willm3027 chick like you eh?

[@VonTaylan]

Welcome to the club 😊

[@robcappa8632]

We have our whole lives to grow up

[@Noerbalboer]

My god I haven’t laughed this hard in like 2 years. Thank you Joey Diaz.

[@jeremybrainard4423]

It’s been 2 years since you made this comment. Here’s your reminder to watch.

[@markR6.76]

I’ll second that 😂

[@seanking6184]

Likewise 🤣

[@danteduck9518]

​@@jeremybrainard4423well done sir 😂

[@Logan-wt5oy]

Best part is Young Jamie laughing mid-drink at 7:48

[@cloudripper4096]

Never noticed till u said it and now I can never unhear it

[@cruiser_b9779]

He’s slurping Joe under the table

[@joshmcdonald9508]

omg i heard it!!!!!

[@eorghergsgrosehg]

@@cruiser_b9779 lol

[@RallickNom]

@@cruiser_b9779 giving Joey that suka la mink

[@JayGadling]

"He's like, 'I've done studies'."

[@walkerdeserttracer6767]

Jay LeMaire thumbs up for grammar.

[@johnmcknight4907]

Fucking done💀😂😂

[@thenightking6662]

"I just had a conversation with Susan" never fails to make me laugh

[@XdarkendGOSPLE]

I love how you can always hear Joey breathing like wtf??😂😂😂

[@aaroneusjames2342]

Eminem too.

[@wilfordbrimley1506]

That’s how Ralphie was, but like times infinity

[@safemoondan6638]

He’s changing flavors. He sounds like an old soda machine.

[@theacaciamatrix1537]

joey makes great use of oxygen and he also paints the air we breathe with fecal matter after a big fahhht and maybe a big ol shit ...i bet his fahhts stink to hi heven when he is doin coke

[@nickgarcia610]

Now I can’t unhear it bruh 😂

[@yourstepdad3900]

'' You ever cut a shit in half'' LOL

[@Snaffle]

your stepdad when you go to prison..

[@bo0tybandit]

your stepdad unless you wanna make noon chucks.

[@killekillekille1]

''Yea I did it last week, and maybe a couple of weeks ago, what about u?'' lmfao

[@irieite9666]

I actually did many times using the toilet brush with toilet paper as a buffer. I'm 6 foot 5 and often take foot long shits. I can block the toilet with just shit and no toilet paper. So long story short if I see its a whopper now I cut it with the toilet brush. I'm literally full of shit, not figuratively.

[@ItsTimeIDisappear09]

Dat reeses peanut butter fume!

[@adaml5690]

It's funny how stories about shit and farts are STILL hilarious as adults. To this day if I'm drinking with friends and somebody has a good shit story everybody laughs all night long about it.

[@Lozzomatic]

Same here. I'm a grown ass woman and a good fart or shit story still has me laughing like a 12 year old idiot.

[@kommi1974]

Adam L Truth

[@xBrOwNeDoG]

idiot... you got that right.

[@getyoueverytimeaaa5976]

- Joseph you must be a girl or a child in order not to get this.

[@dylanmckinley3281]

Adam L even a nice sounding fart will have everyone in the room cracking up.

[@davidmares6053]

17:10 - "you got to give me a second"

[@Timmorrisjr]

I saw this live as it aired. I still come back to this specific clip every time I’m sad or in a bad mood. Instantly cheers me up. Greatest moment in Joe Rogan’s podcast history hands down!

[@hyperionman420]

This doesn't even feel like a podcast. Just some real men smoking doinks and laughing their asses off talking about farts. Love it.

[@UFO-zi2bp]

Tommy's line didn't get enough credit "It's like a comet" lmfao

[@jacoblietz6823]

Agreed

[@GriseldaBSF410]

jOhn that was hilarious

[@marcwharb333]

Absolutely

[@DontarrestmePLZ]

That had me laughing way harder than anything else.

[@salohcin1013]

I burst out laughing at that line, glad it's getting some credit haha

[@powmow]

When your 1000th episode is nothing but shit and fart stories. I love these dudes.

[@ZOMBIESrEMO_Official]

My 2019 depression has been cured.

[@CDickMcAwsomepants]

"The sensitivity of the inner-asshole region is amazing"

[@louzer2566]

I had terrible acid reflux and indigestion as well as constipation for quite some time so my farts were smelling worse than dead people farts. I had to ride a plane, a 4 1/2 hr flight from LA to Baltimore for my brother's graduation, my stomach was hurting real bad so I pretended i was sleeping and i lit up the plane so bad the guy behind me after smelling two or three waves of my farts just slammed down his laptop and shouted, "SERIOUSLY??!!?!"

[@drinkwater5969]

Lmao

[@airriflemaniac]

Lou Zer lmao

[@rcurl44]

Lou Zer Oh my god I'm dying right now

[@kappamomondo1038]

pretending to be asleep to cut a couple farts is absolutely brilliant, I'm stealing that one

[@indifrent_fxuk267]

Lmfao I can't breathe!!

[@Brettski87]

I for sure got a hernia from laughing so hard at this.

[@PatriotIzzy]

I got one of those intense laughing sessions where you start to feel an ab workout.

[@angelgjr1999]

Dude my face turned bright red and i legit couldnt breathe for a minute... thought i was going to pass out

[@dantechills9985]

I almost fell out of my chair.. but i was standing

[@dantechills9985]

@@angelgjr1999 Hence the " kmsl " reference 😂

[@angelgjr1999]

Jose Courage kmsi?

[@zalkowcr]

“You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to.” - Louis C.K.

[@mikestaton9031]

"you mind if I take my dick out?"

[@davidc4793]

Mike Staton lmaoo

[@BayAreaMike99]

16:32 joey sounds like a straight piped Honda accelerating😂😂

[@fitzyakamcsyke]

College girls: "Youre awesome!" Tom Segura: "No I had to take, a crazy shit"

[@colosseo7827]

"The cats are scratching at me and I'm like, 'It's me, you fuck!'" That fucking killed me.

[@FallenMerick]

My best shit story: one of my buddies in college got a small ankle-biter dog as a gift from the girl he was dating at the time, and instead of potty training it he decided to just buy those pet mats that you place on your floor for them to shit and piss on all over. Well, he never took the time to teach it how to go there either, so it would just shit and piss everywhere in his room and sometimes in the hallway while he was gone, and like an idiot he would pick up the poop and place it on the mat thinking that the dog would eventually figure it out. One day while he was in his night class, a bunch of us were hanging out over there smoking/drinking and playing cards, and talking about how awful his room was starting to smell, and I thought it would be hilarious if someone took a massive shit on the mat in his room, cause he would probably think that the dog actually did it. Since it was my idea, and I had one lined up ready to go, I took it on myself to do it. It was the most awkward shit I have ever taken in my life - I had to squat about a foot off the ground and shit between my own two feet on top of a pile of week old dog shit. The best part though was when he finally came home, we all talked nonchalantly for like an hour over cards about how great it would be if his dog would finally learn to poop on the mat, and eventually got him to decide to go up and check on it. We had to choke back uncontrollable laughter as he came back downstairs all excited that his dog had finally figured it out, and kept going on about how big the poop was and whatnot. At one point I actually kept asking him if he would describe it as a "human-sized" shit, but he never caught on. He was completely clueless, and we finally couldn't take it anymore so we broke the news to him, and then we all died laughing for a straight 15 minutes while he just sat there fuming. He was so upset that I actually felt bad for him, so like a good friend I picked my own shit up and flushed it down the toilet, then changed the pet mat for him. Also, because I was young and naive at the time, I thought that this story would be a great one to share with this girl that I was interested in just a few weeks later. She stopped talking to me after that. lmao

[@drsavage3262]

FallenMerick probably one of the best shit stories I've ever years! good times!

[@Dan_Behr45]

great ending. i can totally see myself doing something similar

[@someguyontheinternet2714]

This was an amazing read. Thank you for your service.

[@evanabbott2737]

Hahahaha that’s awesome. And that woman is just uptight, be glad you didn’t end up dating an uptight person...they’re the worst.

[@alexsully2586]

FallenMerick man! What a prude. Probably a quaker or some wild ass shit.

[@damianbenson8092]

One day I was standing in line to ourchase cigarettes from the cigarette counter and my gf was standing behind me but a bit off to the side, behind her there were about 5 more people in line. So as I am waiting I felt a fart bubble work its way down. I decided to let it out quietly, and as soon as it started to push out, I immediately knew it was going to be bad because it was one of those really hot ones, so I cut about 80% of the rest of the fart out and held it in. All of a sudden my gf taps me in the shoulder and asks me quietly.. Did you just fart? The look on my face gave it away, she said it was so bad that she had to leave the store. Now as she left, the dude behind her moved up one spit and took her place. That look on his face I will bever forget, I had even saw his nostrils flare before hand. As soon as he smelled it, I told him.. Do you smell that!? I think that girl just farted and left the store! Ive blamed it on the dog before but this was a perfect scapegoat.

[@aaroneusjames2342]

My stomach hurts

[@joepaccrakurii1227]

Pmsl m8 fantastic

[@NotoEP]

I just cried reading this!🤘🏻🤣🔥💨😷

[@JoepJackson]

That was hillarious

[@ntl9974]

Dogs are always scapegoats lol

[@nat2nathan2005]

Joey Diaz has got to be one of the most naturally funny people on the planet. It's like he doesn't have to try at all, he just has a way of telling stories that tickles me like nobody else.

[@stephenharrington1977]

This is basically every conversation I have with my friends when we meet up

[@christopherwhiteside4448]

What a terrible life you must have

[@michaelkelligan7931]

Never throw toothpicks in a toilet, crabs can polevault! 🦀

[@jjjr8664]

Bro!! Lmao

[@VictorHernandez-pu6cg]

🤣🤣🤣

[@scottysatpanalysis]

Lmao 🤣

[@michaelbowers3849]

He's changing flavors is one of the funniest things I have heard

[@Smokaa__]

love being a man. we talk about anything on our minds. and shit happens to be a good topic to tall about.

[@gimmedaloot8168]

Austin Muller women are also capable of talking about anything on their minds

[@truthsayer2310]

LeBrick Mayhitslikeafeather shut the fuck up

[@patrickmccutcheon8860]

We all do it, and sometimes it's got a significant story tied to it haha

[@trillgates2452]

LeBrick Mayhitslikeafeather But, it's just not funny when women do it.

[@ryanstewart850]

This is without doubt the best conversation ever! Whenever I feel down or hungover I put this on and it never fails to make me laugh and feel better.

[@AirWindFire]

That’s awesome, I hope this gives you a notification and you find the post again?

[@apmm4209]

They are literally crying with laughter ! I'm actually wiping tears from my eyes while typing this 😆😆😆

[@taylorheffernan176]

Someone please animate this

[@bovacanti3334]

Taylor Heffernan PLEASE

[@marcpeppp3935]

Taylor Heffernan exactly what I was thinking!

[@SeedyNathan]

That would be hilarious, literally just listening to this live I were in stitches the animation would make it even 10x better! Would appreciate if you any mma fans here checked out my promo for the may-mac fight and helped me reach 150 subs

[@jayjayson9613]

Taylor Heffernan I was thinking the same thing!

[@T25de]

I've seen some animated bits, this would be epic if animated!!!

[@jamesbaggett7223]

Every man on Earth has destroyed a public toilet at least once....Hell last week I went to the gym and after my workout I was chilling in the sauna. Suddenly from around the corner I heard some guy demolishing the can....It was so loud that a few guys who were in the locker room started laughing. A few weeks later I ended up doing the same thing he did only it was quiet.

[@jjjr8664]

I heard loose assholes look like dragon mouths after anal. Joey told me.

[@joepaccrakurii1227]

HAAAHAHAHA

[@KuliJens]

So one week before you wrote this comment a guy destroyed the public toilet, and a few weeks after he destroyed the toilet you did the same, even if it hadn’t been multiple weeks since the other guy did it when you wrote this?

[@jamesbaggett7223]

@@KuliJens correct

[@jerrysteward3703]

@@jjjr8664 lmao

[@llabronco]

In high school I used to shit in the urinals, originally because my friends dared me to. The janitors avoided cleaning it, and because it wasn't submerged in water, within a day you could smell it from outside the bathroom. At school assemblies on Fridays the principal would refer to me as "the Mad Crapper" and ask the school for any information about who the perpetrator might be.

[@cowrage1]

Alex Shine what a legend

[@andygarcia8230]

The man. The myth. The legend. The mad crapper.

[@tonyjenkins4898]

Awesome

[@InspectorButters4]

Icy wiener- time to call the Hardly Boys!!! Hahahah

[@uwotm]

Lmfao i had a buddy in high school who did this and it was fucking hilarious

[@path4954]

4:19 the funniest facial expression Ive ever seen

[@peakster02]

The chewbacca noise at 2:05 has me dead.😂😂😂😂😂

[@seifeddinekchouk3694]

Tf was that

[@DP-FR]

​@@seifeddinekchouk3694joe's bear impression 😂

[@Darrencardinal]

Frankly I think Joe Rogan is awesome

[@OldJoeF]

The right guests are what makes the show

[@denisdonohue1863]

I was dating a girl once and she had ferocious diarrhea. Regularly? *I died shortly after hearing this

[@coolerthanyou1235]

Denis Donohue damn rip 🙏🏻

[@DigitalChads]

Joey Diaz is so goddamn funny. A movie needs to be made out of his life

[@weworks7811]

There is a movie about him,Lee syatt made it

[@ozi98]

When I feel depressed I just pull this video up.

[@ext93]

My dad (r.i.p) and I had a story that we referred to only as "the guy at the gas station" for over 25 years. We were driving somewhere and stopped at a rest stop. I was only like 6 years old at the time. Some dude was in the stall while we were using the urinals, and he farted/pooped to such an extreme degree that we immediately busted out laughing. We had to run out of the building because we were laughing so hard. I think we laughed for almost 30 minutes straight without saying a single word as my dad drove us down the highway after leaving. One of the funniest moments of my life. I have more fart stories than should be legal

[@KennethDavis11]

I will never forget the one time I was in the stall of the bathroom and let out one of those high pitched farts and my buddy in the other side of the room just started dying for 5 minutes.

[@someonehangingout2276]

Going though hard times bc of my sick mom, but this made me feel better :)

[@ext93]

@@someonehangingout2276 hope she recovers quickly, glad you enjoyed the story

[@spiralout3942]

This story is gold. Thanks for sharing 😂😂

[@MatthewSedgley]

Tell us more dude this ones gold

[@jonathan2847]

'you ever cut a shit in half?' what a brilliant life to be alive at the same time as Joey Diaz.

[@TOADALLY123]

Joey” changing flavors “ Diaz

[@fiveofeight797]

I got crabs from a gas station bathroom when I was 15 yrs old and my foster parents grounded me for bringing home crabs and everyone in the house got crabs.And I know you can get crabs from a gas station bathroom

[@theRhinsRanger]

FiveofEight - lol no way 😂

[@KenchinsWorld]

LMAO somehow i forgot you can even get crabs

[@alexeilindes7507]

Man that toilet is such a slut

[@yallnwahsdontevendrinkskoo4092]

Iamyouonlydifferent He just said he got them from a toilet seat....

[@rorypaterson4099]

Adam L I think the funnies thing about people getting crabs is most likely they went down on each other as well. Crabs in their mouthes and shit. Haha!

[@togoboy23]

Did anyone else just have a near death experience laughing for 20 minutes?.... anyone?

[@BillsGarageWorks]

French Monsanto honestly some of the funniest shit I have ever heard.

[@josh474]

11:10 has happened to EVERYONE 😂😂😂

[@ajrob77]

Tom Segura’s moans from laughing himself sick from about 12:56 to 13:10 makes me laugh so hard 🤣 I listen to this clip at least once a month as therapy... my happy pill.

[@bibsp3556]

Dying punching a bowl

[@tacosmargs58]

it's the way Joey talks that kills me. HIs delivery is top notch

[@ssupermann]

12:00 is amazing but i think the fact that joey has the perfect puff puff pass shows that he is a true gangster

[@notquitesureofanything2849]

I took my 13yr old son to Little Rock Arkansas last year to a concert. We live in Kansas City. We got to Verizon Center about 2 hours early and paid for parking so we walked to look for something to eat. We walked about 4-5blocks and stopped at a coffee shop and had huge Lattes. I knew I would have to go soon so I tried to poop there and only pushed out a nugget. We walked back to the car and seen a Wendys on the other side of the highway. So we walked another 3 blocks and it hit me, go time. I ran inside Wendys and a dude was waiting on the Mens restroom. Just then a woman walked out of the womens restroom and I had already considered shitting out back by the dumpster. I decided to jump in the womens restroom, this was gonna be quick cause I was about to explode. It was one of those orgasmic explosive shits where every fecal particle exits in less than a second, but was gonna take multiple wipes. I was done and flushing within a minute. Oh no, the toilet just gurgled, so I washed my hands and waited for the tank to fill hoping no one was waiting. 2nd flush, still nothing, so I had to escape. I unlocked the door and there stood the classiest lady in the place. I said, "I wouldnt go in there, somethings wrong with the toilet". She looked shocked a man was exiting so Im not sure she even comprehended what I said. My son was waiting on our order and I just stood there giggling. The woman must of opted to go in and have a looksy, cause now I seen her coming from behind the wall and go sit back down with her family. I seen her pointing at me outta the corner of my eye and thankfully they left right away. Me and my son laughed all the way back to the car.

[@jackspatch14]

NotQuiteSure OfAnything yooo this made me cry 😂😂😂

[@karzon2817]

So he was 12

[@michaelbryant8757]

Which concert?

[@alexandraaboukhater7029]

Tremendous

[@safemoondan6638]

Too descriptive, didn’t happen.

[@trippymuppet8233]

Lol I'm currently shitting rn 😂😂😂

[@Unknown-Ways]

gmarcus 808 Tremendous

[@stupidsexysatan5639]

Sitting here eating cereal listening to Joeys shit story's, no regrets

[@justinrey4837]

Same!

[@mrarivv0007]

Stupid Sexy Satan regerts**

[@BullitCake]

Coco puffs?

[@naturalallnaturalwhitepist1789]

Stupid Sexy Satan went and brought ice cream for it live big mistake

[@ExploitMage]

no ragrets

[@Hernandeztutorials13]

“There’s a school behind there. I’m sitting there shitting and smoking dope”

[@kylesmith3555]

“I can smell that shit right now and I’m tryna watch Oprah”

[@wolf2109]

*Joey makes everybody laugh like Tommy in that one restaurant scene in Goodfellas* 😂😂😂💯

[@ckillac5258]

Wolf Perry waddoya mean im funny?!

[@anderson-kj3zs]

Wolf Perry im funny like how?

[@cubancoffee]

ander son funny like a clown

[@KingnEm]

Joel Gomez get your fucking shinebox

[@christianvennemann9008]

The ULTIMATE "Try Not to Laugh" Challenge: Listening to Joey Diaz talk. 😂😂💀💀

[@TheHighCrowdGaming]

I wish there was a camera on Jamie. Just to see his reactions on episodes like this.

[@shorpy3407]

The High Crowd Gaming He's got a camera on him but it's rarely used

[@rxgomez9000]

Changing flavors is probably the best fart joke and fart story I've ever heard in my life. Nothing beats this.

[@ryukan250]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rHnJnZ-tdrqXf68si=mkzwDNn0SFKZ47w-

[@Faisaldegrt]

10:34 Joe Rogan's Bimbo impression was on point

[@michaelshockey7693]

THIS IS A FART STORY: I was in 6th grade one time and my class took a field trip to the pine crest area in California where it is home to the largest trees in existence. We found a tree that was cut down in the 1900’s that was used for a bowling alley, it was considered the largest tree Of. All. Time. It’s stump was large enough to hold our class on top of it to talk about it. As we sit down while the instructor is talking about it, I shard myself 6 times throughout the presentation. On the biggest tree of all time..

[@gaminion3118]

Michael Shockey How do you shart five times and stay on the tree for the sixth ?

[@dbassir87]

Haha too funny! I been there! The largest lodge pole pine!

[@mattdamutt]

How do you shart 6 times lmao do you give a fuck about anything at all sir

[@DavidPigbody]

No one cares

[@kommi1974]

I've never laughed so hard in my life. Tears pouring down my face. Can't breathe. My girlfriend in bed next to me asking me if I'm OK. Lmao!

[@harrykelly4651]

I'm having the same problem right now

[@flyagaric007]

My protein shake farts are pure evil,they smell like off meat mixed with burned tyres.

[@filibertogarciasi]

Bitter juice

[@ghostfacethrilla5012]

Agreed. Protein shake farts are pretty deadly.

[@jimmyrustler8983]

I play airsoft with a power lifter, and he locks us in his car whilst we're driving to games and tortures us with that SAME exact smell!

[@stronglikebulll398]

I used to be that way....turns out pnce i stopped using whey things are all good now...whey protein is definitely not worth it

[@thecasino8022]

INTERNATIONAL that description of the smell is so accurate, exactly the burnt tyres smell lol 😂

[@superdavidss]

13:28 Joey: kkkkkkkkkk HAHAHAHA 😂

[@lordnarasimha2500]

my shit story: around 08-09 i was dating this girl and we decided to do a classic dinner and a movie date night. we went to this spot called Alpha Soda,it was like a greek themed 50's joint. i get the menu and order a gyro, which excited me because id never have lamb b4 and i like trying new stuff. Everything's going well until i start to feel this unholy rumble in my stomach along with just random bouts of heat flaring throughout my body. im trying to play it off, act natural, but i know i can't hold out long. i make an excuse to get us out of there earlier by saying id left something important at her place(we'd been together long enough that i was somewhat comfortable blowing up her toilet). on the drive back my guts rumble.....very. fucking. loudly. my girl is smart and instantly catches on, and then proceeds to laugh in my face. 2 mins into the drive they rumble again and i just say "fuck it i can't do this" and bust an illegal u-turn to drive to the nearest restroom, which happened to be a chick fila. Problem was...the road leading into the parking lot goes through a park. so in order to save time i give her the keys and run through tge park to the restroom.... im in that bitch for 25 minutes. its like shooting shotgun slugs 1 minute and then AR burst fire the next. after getting out i see ppl giving me weird looks, and i initially thought its because im the token black dude in a very very white part of town. nope, fuckin wrong. i found out as i was walking to my gf(who was blood red in the face from trying not to laugh) that you could actually smell what was going on in there all the way to the register. never went back to that chick fila again.

[@hawaiianprestigecars8493]

Lord Narasimha what means “token” black dude?

[@SHACOBES123]

@@hawaiianprestigecars8493 the only black dude lmao you ever see south park?? You notice how the only black kid is named Token??? Lol

[@aramkrikorian9460]

My 5 year old daughter took a shit in the garage in front of my car. I spotted it and thought "I'll get this later." I dropped a piece of red plastic on it so I didn't step on it later. I asked her about it and she was just proud as shit. I nodded and left. The next day it was gone . . . the Beagle ate it. I don't kiss dogs!

[@shorpy3407]

Jason Callow Probably had to go to work right away

[@gimmedaloot8168]

Aram Krikorian why did you leave it there for a whole day?!?!?!

[@amaurys93]

Aram Krikorian lmfao

[@zanethekeymasterr]

Quinn GentryMoore lmao

[@quinngentrymoore8182]

Zeloxik 🤗

[@Kadwasach360]

He is changing flavors.. lmaooooooo

[@LP-zf2vf]

Back here in 2022 and still crying. Damn, love these guys. Great dynamic! Seeing Joey talking about explosive shit against the wall, makes me want to have it so badly! When it happens I will make sure I imitate the bear sound Joe made. Love it. Let's see if the neighbors report it.