Joey Diaz's Detailed Account of Kidnapping

The Church of What's Happening Now
Episode #661
Joey Diaz, Lee Syatt, and guest Jessimae Peluso
• The Church Of What's H...
#JoeyDiaz #LeeSyatt #Madflavor

[@jonbeta3031]

I appreciate how Joey keeps himself hydrated

[@Xx1PWNY1xX]

That Pure Life.

[@MrMetalManMe]

It's dry mouth from the weed😃

[@safemoondan6638]

Joey usually has like 4 water bottles that are all half full. That’s from bong hits, and forgetting you have water for your next one so you grab another and it adds up.

[@darrinlong5007]

I'm sure he sleeps better at night, knowing that you approve.

[@raqimorris8891]

Todays newsletter

[@BuffaloJams716]

"Joey, they invented security cameras because of you" 😂

[@foxysideburns5741]

Buffalo Cody Lee’s best comment ever

[@RamnaViaz]

Shit, probably.

[@paso4808]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@chefpizz3797]

we need a movie on this man already

[@Jeffro5564]

Last time I heard he was negotiating a network to make a comedy tv Series about his life.

[@thingsilearnedfromwrestlin9008]

Nobody could ever play the part of Joey it’s have to be actors and he dubs EVERY VOICE

[@tedr7144]

@@thingsilearnedfromwrestlin9008 the guy from the Toyota commercials that says it's HUGE can play him lol

[@theguy2705]

He’s been in movies he could do it

[@zachsaysfvck1256]

Opening scene theres a bright light in a doorway in walks coco diaz: Hows it hangin COCKSUCKAS welcome to my movie!

[@tygzeg3929]

Joeys stories could literally be Grand Theft Auto missions

[@WeSoFew]

Tygze genius!

[@deanc5620]

😂😂

[@BirdOfHermes83]

@Erik Gonzalez you know you can swear on here right? Fuckin fact!!

[@rhyscarroll7854]

Bahaha bro well said

[@maj1166]

Harupert Beagleton he is in mafia 3

[@reddeadweb-head6796]

I've heard this story 10 times and it never gets old.

[@CeemPlay]

Joey Diaz: The Kidnapping

[@mdkvisions]

I've heard it 30 times but still love it

[@mattydips2887]

Damn beat me to this comment. This was the best version though

[@wfc1987]

I’ve heard it twice and 2 completely different versions...guy is a pathological liar

[@gumdakji7207]

@@wfc1987 and what was the dfferences between the stories?

[@deo4205]

That girls voice is killing my high

[@nickepants7011]

Never seen a truer comment

[@Gr-hr5jc]

Came straight to the comments for this

[@francois1547]

She’s just too much😂

[@__-fk4jz]

Y'all just hate women lmao

[@Bruh-ok1rq]

@@__-fk4jz nah, dudes can have annoying voices but hers is top shelf obnoxioud

[@melk322]

This needs to be reuploaded without that chicks voice, please

[@kirkquintero3893]

She was tht bad compared to a lot of the other guests thts for damn sure

[@mackenziehuda7110]

yeah, five minute in I was like, “can someone give this parrot a damn cracker?”

[@thicccmango6929]

Fucking facts

[@golflimaactual]

Who’s the chick?

[@PopsiclesInMyCellar]

Imagine buying a BMW from Joey Diaz in the 1980s

[@Menosfilms]

🤣 coked out Joey Diaz, not knowing the kind of shit he was getting into outside of selling cars lol

[@ryandees5158]

Subaru

[@ThomasSmith-sz7dk]

Nah a beemer leave the money in the mailbox and in an hour the attendants gonna pull up with ur car around the block

[@franciscocendejas3555]

He would call you a cocksucker as soon as your out of earshot lol

[@camg1145]

“Guy in a wheelchair. He got hit in the head with a ukulele 15 times...it’s hysterical” 😂

[@sumting-wong6176]

this girl's only contribution is saying "whoooaaa" "realllly" "woooow"

[@bobertmcboberty1385]

The female version of lee

[@CTS28]

Incredibly fucking annoying

[@hottubz1965]

Agreed, but what else do you expect her to do? Interrupt Joey's story? That would have been more annoying.

[@-Always_Right-]

Women don't know how to listen to men they only know how to talk lol

[@-Always_Right-]

@@bobertmcboberty1385 lmao thats hilarious

[@santanasanchez1366]

Always go back for your weed, even if there's cops at your house.

[@Name-oz4lq]

Santana Sanchez always

[@RaphaelSloanYusukeUrimeshi]

Sage advice

[@jb1996BLOP]

Especially if you're all coked up, gotta come down somehow

[@JJ_SDWR]

@MrTruboy he didn't say the cops were there, he said people were coming out into the hallway to see what was going on. The cops hadn't showed up at that point in the story. Not saying Joey isn't full of shit most of the time thoufh

[@seamusearl8651]

I’ve done it while cops were a few feet away in the door way.

[@JTKatz07]

Someone please edit this where we don’t hear her interject she’s ruining the story

[@j0hndobile802]

"oh yeah!."

[@saltymedpac3943]

Damn this lady is trying so hard, just chill out and listen to the story.

[@leogetz31ify]

4 real. 😆😆😆

[@chantelk9897]

For real I almost left the good story because she wouldn't shut the fuck uuuuup

[@samueldahl8865]

I’m tryna listen to my boy joe and this bitch won’t shut the fuck up

[@MrJxaxsxoxn]

Agreed! STFU Joey is talking!

[@fredvaughan1017]

@Luc Dude theres a difference between active listening and being annoying- a LOT of interrupting with no real insight, sometimes its better to just LISTEN instead of chiming in every 5 seconds- interrupting a story all the time with "oh my god" or "jesus" isn't interesting or nice to listen to

[@douglasmarshall7067]

“They hit him with a ukulele 15 times” lmaooooooooooo

[@pablocruise9514]

Joey is the only human who can make kidnapping sound hilarious

[@DanElmer]

"I got him for about 30, maybe 31 pens"

[@MegaGuac]

Wrapped with a rubber band 😂

[@jq7323]

It's very possible there was 31

[@taylorscott2359]

Dan Elmer in the ceiling 😂

[@DeluxHippopatumus]

Her mic is way too loud and this has nothing to do with his kidnap story

[@FitSquadron27]

The place had 8 salesman. 2 of them were cool, like legit white people 😂😂

[@ayylmao889y]

Logan Colston think he meant legit white collar people. Boulder is almost all white

[@JohnJones-ng2uh]

“After you kidnapped me, I got kidnapped again”. Sad, but funny as shit the way Joey told it 🤣

[@willyjaytv2009]

Joey “who do you think you’re dealing with joey bananas?” Diaz

[@nuggert]

The dumb broad heard bananas, but he said Fernandez lol

[@trentm.364]

14:30 This story is making me laugh so hard. The funny thing is I can see the Broncos stadium from my office and I am only 45 minutes away from Boulder. Joey's memory and story telling ability is second to none.

[@mattydips2887]

He really is an incredible story teller

[@DaveSCameron]

Personally I'd have appreciated some semblance of context, are we just assumed to know this blokes past!

[@Spicy_Italian_Sausage]

@@DaveSCameron yes if you watch his podcast......

[@yoursadness99]

@@DaveSCameron he really did live that life, he might exaggerate the story, but it’s true nonetheless, if you lived any type of life, you’d be able to tell it from personal experience.

[@mirandacosgrove472]

5:15 “Shut ya mouth”😭😂😂😂😭🤦🏻‍♂️

[@delsan8288]

Getting this chick to shut up during Joey's stories would be better then finding a Covid 19 vaccine

[@nexusonex]

Facts her comments are like so off half the time. She her go to remarks are “Yeah” "Wow" "Right" "Damn".

[@ChiggidyChuck]

@@nexusonex I know right? Why do women even speak? Like obviously they need to keep their mouths shut and make sandwiches

[@joshuabartley656]

I’m for real man that’s the most aggravating his thing ever just shut up and listen you don’t have to say yeah OK every every 30 seconds

[@darienlux4735]

Pussy is so powerful

[@RedPlaystationController]

Anything is better than creating a government injectable for a trojan horse hoax.

[@crispychicken7]

I'm home sick and Joey videos are giving me the will to live.

[@Saiyan_Goku]

Chris Petersen hope you feel better bro

[@Chris-mt4yq]

You still sick bro?

[@DaveSCameron]

Christ you must be sicker than you thought! /

[@makevelicustoms]

@@DaveSCameron is he still breathing 😬

[@gay4pay882]

@@Chris-mt4yq he passed 😢

[@purugigi]

"That sounds like a main character's voice." - my lil sis on Joey's voice Joey is the main character of life and we're all NPCs.

[@reallycoolguy4249]

tremendous

[@stanleysalvatore6476]

😹😹

[@LawyerandThePerp]

My dream "perp" and story IS THIS ONE! I wish I had the chance to sit down with Joey as a lawyer and get his take with some different questions and POV stuff! Joey is THE MAN! Best storyteller of his generation!

[@johnshelton2867]

Love your stories, wise words in a comedic way, and someone who has been through what affected my family (drugs). Wish you were coming to Oklahoma City. Would be awesome to meet you.

[@quincyhines8092]

“Pissing on your leg” classic manipulation mov

[@killernp1317]

He tells the best stories. He has so many amazing, crazy stories. He’s had a cool life

[@darrenborrice7379]

Hands down one of the best stories ever

[@irvinbohac8460]

Joey really is brilliant. To live a life so full and so incredibly dynamic is really cool. I love him.

[@quincyhines8092]

“A sprite and 200” hahahaha

[@jeffengland9913]

Im 56. I wass doin the same shit as a teen and my 20s. This guys life stories are sometimes mine. Never sober for years but still on top of the game. Now im old . But i can think of those days i just sit alone and smile.

[@antoinestriggles5896]

Alone? Niiice

[@knowfuturejay22]

Bring him on the podcast!

[@birdman7687]

Joeys podcast should be called “story time”. Mans a legend.

[@mcomiskey7]

Uncle Joey never fails to lift my mood.

[@moep.8578]

Kent vella looking like a boss in the thumbnail for some reason I always imagined him small and skinny

[@AtbChronic]

404 MO right

[@ericlambert957]

This may be the best thing I've ever heard Joey the GOAT

[@WeSoFew]

This dude has seriously done it all! I love him!

[@ChasingPirates101]

I thought Joey was Italian till I heard his Spanish. He Cuban

[@royscott9162]

He is looking a million times better than some of his other pod casts. ❤️

[@antonioruelas81]

The HAVE to make The Joey Diaz Diaries!!

[@fja4916]

“I’m sorry for what I did, it was really douchey”. I can’t wait to use that line. 😂🤣

[@thehappypyromaniac6624]

"I just kicked the fuckin door down LIKE A GORILLA" Best joey quote ever

[@lamborghini393]

I needa listen to the full thing

[@Patrick.Weightman]

He's not lying, selling cars can easily be like that for a LOT of places. A guy I went to school with has been doing it since he graduated 10 years ago cause he regularly walks away with thousands of extra dollars every single week.

[@nickkriebel1884]

“You’re the reason they made security cameras“😂😂😂😂

[@chase920]

Check your headlights folks

[@Stinkymens]

Imagine a series on Joey Diaz life like everybody hates Chris but more Joey Diaz style

[@michaelpaiva9924]

I like that Roberto Clemente picture in the backround behind Joeys head he was a great player and won 2 World Series with the pirates i believe in 60' and 70''...Sad that he died in a plane crash in 72' while he was still a young guy only 38 years old...Best Puerto Rican player of all time in Baseball!

[@Turk_2023]

Clemente donated a ton of money to Puerto Rico`s poor didn`t he?

[@michaelpaiva9924]

@@Turk_2023 yes he did and mainland Latin America. Thats how he died he was going country to country in South America using a airplane and every stop he would give away free baseballs and bats and gloves to the poor neighborhoods and his plane crashed leaving one country and traveling to the next...tragedy cause not only was he a great player but a great person to humanity

[@Turk_2023]

@@michaelpaiva9924 That is right, that is sad

[@aaronp9835]

One of the best storytellers of modern times. True or not consider myself entertained friends

[@Congo76]

This girl just repeats what joey says, gets olddddd

[@jacobm8396]

Yeah this girl just says what Joey says, it gets old I reckon

[@lankestermerrin267]

These waters a too deep for her. That’s a why she just parrots.

[@ey3z4ya]

Who hurt you guys 😂

[@timthechin2736]

Such an inspiration coco...we can all turn it around and you did.

[@kevmaxfly4050]

The comment "if a pen takes you out of the game, were you really in the game?" Had me laughing way harder than I would of expected a simple observation to. May be due to weed tho

[@spicytrash4981]

Living legend. He's a force of nature that comes around like a comet.

[@nathanholland7754]

It’s a podcast where you have a conversation, if you want the full full story watch his stand up special on it, it’s like an hour of uninterrupted Joey

[@5Starallstar2010]

What's the name of his special?

[@1017trap]

sales exp always makes people great

[@DjCatchXXII]

I love Uncle Joey! He’s the best

[@sammygames4352]

" I didn't make it all this way without balls of steel" *takes deep breath* "stupid" 😭😭😂😂😂😂

[@kevinjohnson7300]

Joey is my spirit animal

[@Antibong]

Ok *Kevin Johnson*

[@PonySlaystati0n]

I feel like I can act in this story ai have heard it so much. Never gets old though.

[@sideshowtodd87]

Love u Uncle Joey; fun exciting life u had

[@MRRGaming223]

I was at That Tucson Arizona Show. Incredibly Great Performance 💯💯💯🔥

[@Tharealkingjay]

I couldn't go!! -_-

[@MRRGaming223]

@@Tharealkingjay i got you on FB 😂 but ayyy that show, he really be the same on Here vs on stage frfr 💯💯💯🔥

[@Tharealkingjay]

@@MRRGaming223 ayeee lit asf bro!! I bet💯 i put all my brothers onto him too😂😂

[@badlt.8029]

Joey “I’ve got a story about that” Diaz!

[@cajuama]

Adding to a story makes it better.

[@damonm4156]

Joey has done it all i just love his approach when he chats about his life there is always comedy its funny how he use to do standup with Joe Rogan and i assume still does now and then they both love it so much

[@ClickDrawJimmy]

You've got to have an autobiographical movie made joey.

[@nathanhutton3164]

Some people have a gift with podcasting. Joey’s got it. Rogan’s got it. When their guests don’t got it it’s real painful.

[@susboykaine9804]

love it so much

[@coletuorto67]

Joey needs a movie asap

[@1kEZ]

“stole the keys and made duplicates how tf else you get a key”🤣🤣

[@SirPercival1207]

I feel like Joey is just a time traveler who’s lived a thousand gangster lives

[@zackpearson699]

He made that story come to life

[@mrbeans2425]

Someone HAS to make a movie about this man life!!!!!! Even tho he probably cant/wont tell us about 2/3 of it! lol

[@jaimep456]

Still disappointed that the man who's supposed to know nuttin snitched

[@dillbill7152]

He snitched cause he knew nuttin if he don't no nuttin he won't talk

[@inbred_]

I hope they would add a segment in GTA VI of just a podcast of Joey Diaz telling us his stories, jokes, wisdom, and anything in between.

[@bossman9098]

Need to make his life into a movie series

[@jamescastillo282]

Joey bananas lmao

[@trishywishy4750]

"I don't know how much a hundred a gram is"... lol

[@taylorscott2359]

Trishy wishy now it’s 60-80 because it’s all trash

[@taylorscott2359]

You need the whole gram for an hour smh

[@JefeDeJefes8484]

Lol she is so lame and didn't contribute to the story and just copied or said wow and really? I can't believe she said "I don't know what a hundred a gram is?" Really!? Joey just told you a gram is a hundred lol. She should of never been on the show.

[@JefeDeJefes8484]

@@taylorscott2359 Yeah, 50 even but it's not good or it's junk. Weak shit. I have a plug that moves 100$ a gram good shit though.

[@zombiefried5362]

This man is an American treasure

[@lewisjaygomes1617]

Lmfao this is still hilarious man omg

[@GlorifiedGremlin]

My God that woman is loud

[@johnmartinec2423]

Not tipping for a drink at the bar is douchy. Calling kidnapping douchy is kind of an understatement. Just kind of.

[@nomamesdawg985]

John Martinec different life different views, I seen people out here where I live try killing each other and then weeks later they’ll be smoking together it’s all fucked up

[@PlutoTheGod]

John Martinec it was a coke dealer selling 40k of coke

[@CanPen92]

I remember watching this and saying, “Jessimae shut up!” hahah

[@MmmDnBbitch]

Wow, how crazy! I went to Fairview highschool. What a small world 😱

[@checkmeowt6948]

When I saw the picture on instagram, I legit breathed a sigh of relief haha I felt complete for some reason.. por que, tho???

[@JustinC3810]

check meowt no lo se, pero i love seeing the story still alone after so many years, and the fact that everyone involved is happy now makes it that much better

[@CPAStrengthPassion]

I didn't know about the newspaper bins

[@Name-oz4lq]

CPA Strength me either

[@luisestrada3148]

Lee’s laughs bro is like a little teddy bear hahaha

[@yoursadness99]

“Who do ya think ya dealin wit, Joey Bananas?” 😂😂

[@whatabouttheearth]

Dude, fix the mix on her voice, too much highs in the mix on her microphone.

[@ronzojonzoify]

Cutthroat commission salesman

[@LuxioV2]

We need a My Name Is Joey show asap

[@jonathanferraro1159]

He definitely stole Doug Stanhopes change jar. Lol Joey jingles

[@jasonking4753]

Who is this interrupting hole??

[@hk45c64]

@Don Draco you have something seriously deep inside your twat

[@D3ADTRIGG4R]

Don Draco your a pussy stop watching what you can’t handle

[@mightquinnable]

The honey is annoying, she trying mad hated to be funny at moment that didn’t need humor.

[@deadarmd]

I was like WHAT IS IT REAL

[@junederose5473]

I am Bear She is not funny at all. She thinks cursing her attempt at humor, is making her sound like she could comprehend his lifestyle.

[@koronomoa3582]

u guys r fucking losers she seems like a fine girl

[@-Always_Right-]

Honey? Lmao is that making a comeback or are you Will Smith in Fresh Prince of Belair

[@patrickmccutcheon8860]

She's like that on every podcast episode she's been on. Spends twenty minutes talking about how somebody's name is weird or something when Joey is in the midst of the heaviest story ever.

[@watwatintheface]

2 in the afternoon and I’m high lol

[@lmotley23]

We definitely need a movies on this dude's life

[@annamarie8168]

Joey Bananas Lmao

[@mr.anonymous5501]

9:45 she asks how much a gram of coke was back in the day, Joey says $100, then she realises she doesn't want people thinking she knows what a gram costs these days, which she probably doesn't, but she got mixed up and ended up saying she didn't know how much 100 grams or coke cost today.

[@Antibong]

Nice analogy