John Swan - The COMPLETE DUMBASS

[@thefranChise1]

This took me like no effort to make

[@nicolepanacho7128]

yeah no shit

[@nitrofredy]

Does he still need our support?

[@ogluigi]

Still a good video tho

[@ChampSAM]

@@nitrofredy no I’m pretty sure he can live off his savings forever

[@nitrofredy]

@@ChampSAM I’m glad to hear that his made it through.

[@sabdierz]

This video is not about John Swan and his narcissistic personality but is rather propaganda to force Hax to spit hot fire

[@PreacherJenkins]

The seamless transitions from well thought out points to complete shitposting and back again are amazing

[@tolkienblack6602]

It legit took me a second watch to get it 🤣

[@Phelisreal]

it's horrible for me cuz I have a severe lack of understanding 2nd degree on the spot ;(

[@e-scorts7485]

Fr this shit is golden

[@ruanoluke]

nice pfp

[@ts4gv]

1:00 is an absolute highlight

[@Technicals]

All those piano lessons finally paid off. Thanks for letting everyone know about this diminished triad

[@tunok3874]

I was Technicals' gardener.... (A Thread)

[@HoseB932]

Still waiting for the pay preview BoxingMatch Tech. What’s going on?

[@Ahmedto]

John's take on Ace Attorney music will tell you everything you need to know about his credibility

[@killerbug05]

Wait what does he think of ace attorney music? There's no way there's a person on this planet who doesn't like the ace attorney soundtrack

[@luffypilled]

@@killerbug05 In the video, he's watching something where the allegro cross examination theme from apollo justice plays and immediately goes "ugh, im muting this shit"

[@killerbug05]

@@luffypilled I will try to be fair: you can't really enjoy video game music to its fullest extent unless you've played the game it's from..however even with that in mind idk how you could dislike ace attorney music so much you go out of your way to mute it whenever it comes on 🦢🤡 Dude is quite simply built different than the rest of the world...and not in a good way 💀

[@Cats4life777]

@@luffypilled thats the most fire theme wtf

[@Bellboyce]

Honestly John swan canceling himself to avoid boxing tech is kinda a big brain move to make. Good vid dude

[@Bellboyce]

@@coldtea7 😈 anime

[@JJtheProGamer]

@@Bellboyce That moment when I know exactly what "anime" its from.

[@LotteLattes]

@@coldtea7 its from itadaki seikei i think thats how you spell it. Its porn

[@Fredfazbear1983]

@@LotteLattes based

[@viderevero1338]

@@LotteLattes it’s called h3ntai and it’s art!!1!!1

[@Doc_Fun]

"However, nothing could compare to what John said next... 'SAVE 29% WITH 0% APR ON A NEW 2022 KIA SORENTO'" Oh, that _monster_

[@GSEleven]

The worst parts of this video is whenever John Swan speaks, hearing his voice generally annoys me more than someone who plays GTA hearing a child's voice on comms; they go full hostile. But when he is spouting BS and joyful...I turn into Kane during the Royal Rumble in 2000.

[@squabbbb]

Based wrestling enjoyer

[@vietnamsemonky4082]

It makes me want to be the undertaker during hell in a cell august 1998, choke slamming mankind right through the top of the cage.

[@DrStrangefate]

Through Hellfire and brimstone!!!

[@souleaterevans4589]

John when someone else fucks up: **makes an hour-long, highly edited video taking the situation very seriously** John when he messes up: It's not that serious, guys. Go outside, touch grass, this is silly

[@WeekendWarrior1]

Since the Dream incident I unsubscribed from John and never looked back. lmfao it keeps fucking happening, at least he's consistent

[@50caltaco]

I’m sad that this video’s probably gonna get written off as joking satire because this is a really well-made timeline of John Swan’s controversies. But at the same time I don’t expect you to put in effort for a guy who’s hellbent on cancelling himself.. so I guess great vid yet again my guy!

[@alexdibiasi1633]

How does this dude crawl back into the community multiple times after bs 💀

[@JPMM316]

Augie and Nick forgave him because he made a video on Technicals. Now they have egg on their faces.

[@V9-Volt]

Look at leffen lmao

[@KIJHK]

@@JPMM316 But in the end, Technicals beat him easily.

[@lawrencelopez9839]

Kai weiss. Birdman basically got involved against a worse person so people saw him as a good person again. Then he messed it up with this stupid cloak and dagger shit. I don't get it why are there smear campaigns and under the table shenanigans in the commentary community? everyone needs a reality check.

[@ZazooEel57]

KZbin always gets new viewers. A lot of those big youtubers manage to just snatch new people who don't know about their past. Look how many people Shane Dawson or Jeffrey Star got cancelled and came back...

[@nezanic5571]

Fuck dude. That clip of John Swan finding out he was wrong about which is the most used dictionary is such a classic!

[@Birdman957]

His face was like 😲😲

[@HonkeyKongLive]

The weird thing is he wasn't wrong. M-W is the most used in the US. The OED is the most used globally. The fact that he didn't notice that just makes him look even dumber.

[@M.J44]

Damn, it's like a combination of trolling and callout Spicy

[@jakthesac5175]

This video doesn’t straddle the line between meme and serious, it hops back and forth like it’s warming up for a soccer game

[@vvanderer2287]

That’s the best part

[@inukaiversus]

Lol, that's pretty true.

[@gnardawgyt]

John's thirst for the feeling of moral supremacy is revolting

[@kyletitterton]

Good grief you put that absolutely perfectly.

[@themostdeadmeme1609]

John Swan had the world by its ass and let it slip through his fingers several times. And the way he did it confounds me. "Yeah I'll just betray my friends by lying to them and attempting to ruin the career of people who tried to redeem me, and I'll never, EVER apologize when there is literally no way for me to be considered innocent outside Act Of God reasoning." I can't tell if John is a moron or chronically self destructive. It's a shame to see someone with so much potential destroy themselves.

[@Syoubat]

Why cant he be both a moron and chronically destructive?

[@slash_Mute]

"Cancelled himself to avoid boxing Technicals" is the most sensible thing I've heard so far

[@LarcassVevo]

idk how you managed to fit in actual good jokes with a thorough message but you did. love this

[@ADTaddicted]

Loved the music theory reference in calling John a diminished chord, although I'm inclined to call him an imperfect cadence - one that doesn't resolve

[@tinytiredbear2096]

honestly i always found john's friendship with minors strange [not in a creepy way] because i feel like hes only ever friends with them to manipulate n serve out his own agenda since others in the commentary community see through his bullshit

[@johnandrews9433]

I mean yeah, kids/teenagers are retarded

[@james_fisch]

I'm a former viewer of John Swan, who should have totally turned away after the Dream controversy. for whatever dumb reason I gave him chance number two, and as many people predicted, he made it a slap in the face. that being said, this is one of the best KZbinr documentary videos I've watched solely because of your incredible ability to hop between serious and non-serious without breaking the video's focus. I laughed several times because the humor was not "try-hard awkward humor." It was straight humor. You just earned a sub.

[@viderevero1338]

Literally my exact situation, said better then I ever could. 👍🏽

[@LimeonCandy]

Yeah same

[@eeelorde9962]

The fact that john was let run wild in the comentary comunity after he lied makes them complete dumbases like how can you let him go after that drama

[@10Gpixels]

Here before Swan makes a 30 minute response where he misses the joke 11/10 times

[@yep_itsmeagain]

This man John had so much potential. If you watch his old investigate videos you wouldn't even know he has a different personality and acts like an ass. All he had to do was mind his business and not get mixed in with the wrong people. He did everything possible to ruin his career.

[@kyletitterton]

I remember at the time his Suzy vid blew up thinking: I couldn't care less. I found the moral grandstanding particularly gross. It reminded me of witch hunts where the people doing the persecuting are just as bad (or worse) than those they accuse. If you're gonna lead those charges you better be waaaaaaay beyond reproach. John practically fell at the first hurdle. John's a very talented editor. But he seems pathologically incapable of understanding why people despised him for what he did.

[@peter42466]

This guy straight up played multiple minutes of his own video honestly respect

[@judekaraki1650]

that esam quote was inspirational, i try to live by those words every day 🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@theoutsiderjess1869]

John swan had the potential to be one of the best commentator on youtube but John Swan would rather lie, manipulate and call teenagers pedos instead of make good content

[@LD_art]

when I saw that clip of john just saying touch grass, I just said "you're still touching your phone dumbass" even when he tries to "own people" this diminished triad always gets himself into more conflict

[@SumThingFawful]

Evidence.dab was very inciteful. Honestly I'm big respect to John for canceling himself to avoid boxing Tech. However I'm going to have to deduct points as he unfortunately said a racial slur and failed to deliver the sex mod.

[@hardondong3550]

Tech would have beaten his ass in the boxing ring.

[@antoniogentile2760]

I’m loving the evidence.zip 2 parallels here, absolutely entertaining and funny.

[@divineterabyte5181]

John made the phrase "touch grass" cringe, singlehandedly

[@ajaxmaxbitch]

And griffin gaming

[@yungmuney5903]

Probably because he's the first person that should take that advice.

[@jak_1399]

I can’t believe the Rock has been doing this on the side

[@SuperNuclearUnicorn]

I KNOW you didn't just photoshop John Swan's face over Josh Giddey. Josh Giddey is a sweetheart and a king and doesn't deserve this and I'm calling my lawyers

[@thiccochet]

unfortunate comment

[@koruton9925]

The amount of times you can shoot yourself in the foot and act like The victim is ridiculous. For John he shot his hands and feet and threw the gun at those he blames for his actions

[@YeaNo.]

I could've forgiven John Swan and watched his videos again I'd he didn't disrespect that Ace Attorney track

[@joakimsen87]

This is the result of kids growing up with social media. If there's anyone out there who still thinks social media was a good idea, well, that's actually almost terrifying

[@neroseether838]

John seems like the type of guy to want people to call himself a sociopath because he thinks it's cool

[@matshbocks]

I couldn't help chuckle every time you said diminished triad.

[@AManChoosesASlaveObeys]

DOOOOOM

[@matshbocks]

@@AManChoosesASlaveObeys enough of Mary Jane, she's my main thang, pulled her right from that web head what a lame brain

[@The_Big_Jay]

"A Four Chin teller."

[@thefranChise1]

It took almost a full year for someone to notice

[@ParrotMan01276]

It's so weird how much of a jerk John is. It's unncessary.

[@NeiasaurusCreations]

I was done with John after pieman. I made post after post telling people to NOT support this guy. When he backstabbed technicals, I told people don't support him. My 4 month comment on a video about him aged perfectly because everything I outlined in that comment repeated itself a second time entirely. People are too forgiving of people's BS. Commentary bros are hypocrites. They hold everyone to a super high standard, sometimes to nonsensical degrees. But when it comes to their own, they give people like John, more chances than he deserved. They refuse to call out their own BS. Or Augie would also be in a ditch with John Swan. Cause Augie is just as bad. Dude cannnot for the life of him get ANYTHING right. He can't avoid being a hypocrite. He can't avoid being a fake friend, nor can he learn to police his own stupidity. I'm also personally not a fan of his humor. I don't find the holocaust all that funny. The systematic murder, and oppression of 6,000,000 people to 20,000,000 is not something I particularly find funny. The holocaust is so much worse than just murder, it was slavery, it was torture, it was cruel vile medical experiments. It was being a hostage. A lot of deaths didn't happen in gas chamber, it happened by people being starved to death, forced to do back-breaking labor despite this. Often completely pointless labor that served no other point but to torture the starved victims. They'd dig giant pits, just to fill them up again, and start over. They'd build brick walls, just to tear them down and start again. Eventually the SS would run a massive "company" using this slave labor, which Albert Spears would use to make weapons and other things. Including the V1/v2 rockets. All of this is to say, the holocaust was one of the worst events in human history, and the mass murder wasn't the worst part of it. The survivors, were forever traumatized by what they went through. I don't find it particularly funny knowing the history, having SEEN footage of the camps being liberated, and the horrible, horrible images of people being little more than skin draped over a skeleton. It scarred me just seeing those videos of it. I'm not saying he can't joke about it, or that he's a bad person for finding it funny. I'm saying to ME it isn't funny. I don't find the subject to be something worth joking about. It's the same reason I was pissed at Edwin for wearing a d*mn holocaust mass execution tshirt for instagram likes. And never watched the dude again. You're absolutely free to support augie, you're free to like joking about the murder and oppression of the holocaust, and the horrors of what real humans did. But I personally am not cool with it, and I won't support people like augie who are. It's a personal choice, where I'd rather ignorance not be rewarded. And that's what augie is. Pure, concentrated ignorance and stupidity. Dude can't even treat one of the worst events in human history with just a little respect, and that's telling to me.

[@JPMM316]

I firmly believe that had Augie and Nick called out John for Pieman the Dream drama would never have happened because he wouldn't have had the arrogance to lie the way he did. Instead they covered for him ,with Nick laughing it off as high school drama. When Nick got mad about John lying to his face , I was like told you so. But of course they forgave him because they needed him to attack Technicals .The enemy of my enemy is my friend . Now it blew up in their faces. Anyone who still takes any of them seriously should be mentally evaluated.

[@NeiasaurusCreations]

@@JPMM316 Yeah. I used to respect Nick, even if I didn't always agree with him. Now I just can't respect him anymore. Dude just has no consistency.

[@thedarkmasterthedarkmaster]

@@NeiasaurusCreations You know that T-shirt was from a band. Fuck off

[@lory3771]

As someone who has never encountered this person, I have no idea whether this video is serious or the best shitpost I’ve ever seen. Bravo, good sir, you have my subscription.

[@vishishify]

I mean lets be honest here, the original excuse he gave should have been the fucking giveaway. The man essentially said "my dog ate my homework".

[@TheFacelessJester]

As someone who was a part of investigating the Pieman situation your video is very well researched and very well made. Awesome video. Subscribed!

[@alexlana757]

Wait! Hold up! What about all that money John scammed for that Minecraft Sex Mod which never came out??? Tommy C is still pissed about that right? Something to the tune of $17,000. What happened with all of that?

[@ZazooEel57]

Don't forget to wish John a happy birthday tomorrow! Unless he lied about that too... 😳

[@electricion712]

22:01 Also, John Swan said that he gonna respond to your video before people started posting your video as response to his Technicals video on Twitter. John lied about the reason why he responded to you and was gonna to respond to you anyways.

[@factandsuspicionpodcast2727]

Looking forward to your dissertation on the psychological implications of music theory. Groundbreaking stuff. Enjoyed the video, man. Keep up the good work.

[@BunkPolitics]

You destroyed him.

[@epice834]

oh my god. my goddamn sides hurt. to quote nick, "you're fucking unhinged!" I love it

[@tykarulobano7060]

This genuinely brought me up a bit. Ngl at first I just wanted to hear your opinions on this situation because of how well put together your Leffen vid was. But then the jokes started to hit and ya got a few laughs outta me

[@NoRegs30]

Took me a while to remember who this guy even was He is such a non entity in my mind that I almost completely forgot about him

[@hnaw1360]

Gonna start calling all my friends diminished triads when they piss me off. Thanks for the new insult

[@birdy_rocket8630]

Thank you a lot for putting the pieces together, it was difficult for me and I assume other people to keep track of all the accusations that were made against him. Also incredible video.

[@JokerTropical]

3 mins in and the Hax references already made this video fire! Massive W, as to be expected from da franchise

[@SilentTrip]

Pretty spot on for someone who studied psychology in 5 minutes

[@JPMM316]

Here's something to chew on. In John's call with Jako he tells him that Nick heard the apology call(with Pieman). Now he could be very well be lying ( I mean he's John Swan after all) . However if he's telling the truth that means Nick has known about the existence of this call for almost a year..If that's the case why was he silent? Just something to ponder

[@xavierwolf4827]

The thing about John that rubs me the wrong way is the way he is constantly talking to or talking about minor. Also how he keeps trying expose people as child predator is strange to me.

[@qbking3377]

Technicals clapped John harder than anyone. The only person who got it worse from tech was nairo

[@crossveilkyt]

the way that you hop back and forth from bullshitting to actual points is fuckin' mindblowing. i'm subbing

[@Xenowolf8]

I find it crazy that this is going on at the same time as the Quantum TV situation.

[@LCMaestro15]

Do you smell what theFRANCHISE is cooking? 22:36

[@harrisonhurst6480]

Hax won't relax, he'll go on the attack, dropping the beat, goin' to catch the heat, waitin' on the hax mixtape, just hittin' my vape.

[@trentsayers951]

I've rewatched this video twice now and I have to say everytime I watch it, it gets better and I appreciate it more. Absolutely amazing! I've been rewatching a lot of your videos! They are amazing, thanks for the great content!

[@ellis7622]

The diminished triad roast was brilliant, well done man.

[@14branflake]

I was in the Destiny stream when all that happened. The second I heard John was involved I was like "oh god here we go".

[@HOUSE_OF_REBELLION]

I'm literally working in my first video like this about John and I watched yours mine is not even going to compare... this is gold I laughed so hard at the NBA stats

[@HOUSE_OF_REBELLION]

Nevermind The Rock comment... I'm on the floor

[@dopesickdog]

your videos have a great style my dude. keep it up!

[@Donde_Lieta]

Whenever people are acting sus I’m gonna start referring to them as music theory terms 😂- I’d honestly go as far to say John might be a secondary function- he’s pretty sketch- I wouldn’t put it past him to be hiding in a different key in plain site!

[@spectre9340]

Your voice lulled me into a false sense of security and I almost didn't catch the jokes you made since you sound so serious all throughout this video. On a more serious note, it's definitely possible for underaged teenagers to be p*dos. However, considering that it was mostly just flirtatious messages and not...idk, asking for nudes from the 12y.o. , John definitely blew the whole situation out of proportion. And if a 15 y.o. he knew was doing something wrong, he should talk to the kid privately and not blast him all over Twitter.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Whenever I hear John speak, I hear Shannon and Kai speak. I think is the way they talk to others: in a condescending, spiteful manner. :/

[@ChriIvaBrunner]

And thus the goose is finally cooked

[@staciemohler4624]

1:00 is that the iconic ESAM quote "n****** go boxing ring f****"

[@Xendarion_]

You should've called it "Swan Wars". That would've been amazing

[@MordecaiandMonroe]

The classic tale of a commentary channel, use others fuck ups for content and breed an audience hungry for drama until you inevitably do something wrong and become content. You cant pretend to be perfect forever.

[@whiffunderscore703]

man gives us aussies a bad name.

[@dena81]

What's even worse is let's say the girl that John manipulated later decides she wants to go to the police and press charges on the person she's claiming did something to her, how easy would it be for the accused or their lawyers to point at what John swan did and use that to invalidate the girl's claims? If someone claims they were abused in any way, your first actions should not be 'Oh yeah let's post up a goggle doc about it! '. You should absolutely go to the police and let them do this brand new technology called... Investigate and gather evidence. Evidence is this thing that helps to prove allegations so that people who do bad things can't get away with them. Insane this even spiraled the way it did

[@EvieNora]

I fucking love this thumbnail

[@mariokarthero1997]

This is a well documented video of John Swan's history of being a scumbag. I liked his content, but I just cannot support someone who's more than willing to lie and manipulate their way to glory.

[@Cookie25559]

No way I fucking got a grammarly ad for this video LMAO… very fitting

[@DrStrangefate]

The level of earnest commentary and master shitposting is honestly astounding. Take my sub sir

[@killerbug05]

4:23 are those a pair of the huh duh six hungeos by ol' mate senny?

[@SmartAlec1]

Wow two sagas just dropped on year long dramas involving two faced snakery

[@FukaiKokoro]

augie and nick also delete all their tweets.

[@TheRatW1zard]

The most helpful thing I’ve learned about this video is that you’re Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Great video.

[@nizzwarb764]

that diminished triad music metaphor is underrated

[@SuperNuclearUnicorn]

Side note: touching grass in Australia is very easy. Source: am Australian with a lawn and a large park just across the road from me

[@meosk]

You know. The first 5-6 minutes is perfect writing. I love this shit my dude. Keep it up ;)

[@OGamelon]

This is a certified Dwayne"thefranChise" Johnson video

[@slpn2314]

I hope john only responds to all the points that were clear jokes

[@allyourbasearebelongtous2191]

Dude.. you should totally try this restaurant called "Five Guys." I mean I know they use beef and not people but they're really good. It was a funny coincidence that you were eating 5 guys and there's a restaurant with that name. But for reals... try it. They kill it and cook it for you so you don't have to do all that work with the dudes. #commentaryforcannibals

[@darkdoctor1915]

Some people never learn

[@amelia3146]

Ngl I didn’t really know who John Swan was (maybe seen clips of his videos here and there? His voice seems familiar, idk) but this is truly unhinged behavior like who tf brings the issue to the public then doubles down on such a massive L like this 😭

[@TheAbnormal]

John Swan maybe 20 years old, but he has the mind of a 17 year old

[@DougsGamingChannel]

You snatched this man's legs from start to finish also #haxmixtape

[@aarondx3764]

Hey Franchise do you do music?

[@TONYGILLEY]

Diminished Triade is such an appropriate label for the John SCHLOCK (I will NOT refer to him as a Swan as they are a beautiful bird, something he is definitely NOT) Much like The Riddler from Batman comics who can't help but reveal his secret agenda through his riddles when he shouldn't, SCHLOCK can't help but build a complex Lies and then add more complexity when someone pokes a hole in his Bullsh*t. I said this elsewhere that he should Never, EVER get another chance at a redemption arc NOR does he deserve one. He squandered the lifeline that was generously given to him and if he's given another chance, GUARANTEED he will do this again, it may not be immediate but true to form he will do it. Aside from being habitual BAD Liar he also likes the Long Con.

[@cwp24]

Not only that, but commentary destroyed their own reputations as their true colors got exposed. If you are in any community, do not get involved with those characters. They are bad news.

[@Exapico]

Barely a minute in, and the ESAM jab got me.