I Ain't Prayin For That

You ever have someone ask you to pray for something so stupid you're like...
From my third special John Crist: Would Like To Release a Statement, filmed live at the Majestic Theater in Dallas, TX.
Watch the full special here:
• John Crist: Would Like...

[@claudiag.3036]

“I’m not putting that up to the God of the universe with MY name on it!” 🤣

[@paulettecouncil1382]

Indeed!!!

[@patricksanders2219]

Like god answering from letters and it says sign name and he like, haha nope😂😂😂

[@claudiag.3036]

@@fearlessinjesuschrist I was quoting the comedian, John. I just thought it was a funny joke.

[@Darci3333]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@hopesmith6725]

😂😂😂

[@lp5188]

This guy proves you don’t have to be nasty to be funny.

[@heathermetz6576]

Absolutely! It was a really good show to watch!

[@elizabethromsloe1096]

Plenty of comedians aren't nasty. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@geraldpchuagmail]

​@@elizabethromsloe1096like?

[@albertoavena]

⁠@@elizabethromsloe1096Not the popular ones…

[@teachpeace3750]

He has also been credibly accused of rape, so… 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@chnalvr]

He's 100% correct about so many ridiculous prayer requests. Pray to win a football game?

[@Lia2222]

Sometimes them Cowboys need that extra push, man😂

[@Juicetheeunuch]

I think at the football game it’s usually a prayer against injury. Often see both teams huddled before a game.

[@jdfodio]

God uses sports games to speak to many people. Some "Christians" are so judgmental.

[@BTBdrummerBTB]

I wonder how God responds to that request if the other team prays for their own victory as well

[@valerielove7478]

I think it's about learning to be like Him in any arena we find ourselves. It's almost never about the occupation or activity (although there's some clearly bad ones out there), it's about bringing His goodness and His way of being into every situation we're in.❤

[@Khandiee]

“ You should have prayed for wisdom back at the house” 😂😂😂 that caught me off guard because I was thinking the same thing

[@SarahMichelle777]

I love it when he giggles at his own jokes.

[@Liz-in8lu]

Haha right?

[@correysuladie8956]

Me too

[@RlRdHd]

Was gonna say this! It's like "really can you believe this stuff?" Or when he refers to a past joke like 97%

[@777LoveStory]

I love how much he laughs at his own jokes.

[@HappilyAnonymousGirl]

I always wondered since I was a kid if it was possible to be funny without being vulgar. I’m glad more people are proving it is

[@thestahlfamilycircus7317]

Check out dry bar comedy, especially Fred klett... he's great!

[@Lulu-mj2fi]

​@@thestahlfamilycircus7317I LITERALLY SAID THE SAME THING A COMMENT ABOVE! Except I didn't recommend a comedian😅

[@SurrDesSol]

Sinbad was really good at it! One of the best to ever do it!🥰😅

[@moribundknight2896]

That means YOU think that vulgar things are funny

[@moribundknight2896]

You it hard not to laugh at don't dick jokes.....

[@im_not_meg.]

"widows, orphans, missionaries, mAlI wAnTs To WaTcH pAw PaTrOl" 💀💀💀💀💀

[@Jimmy_in_Mexico]

Dude, you're ruthless with that woman. I think the best one was when you said "I don't even want you all up there"😂

[@soniac8532]

I snort laughed on that one! 😆🤣

[@chiberjuberdourado2487]

I moved to Alabama and made the mistake of joining in a conversation 2 women were having in a convenience store. They were talking divorce and I said I’m getting divorced too! The women quickly decided we needed to have a prayer circle. In the Circle K!! I had never experienced this so I went along to see what would happen. We held hands, next to the chips, and one woman started praying for us during this difficult time. I was peeking around to see their expressions and especially when a man walked in. Apparently this is thing he saw often because he didn’t bat an eye at 3 women holding hands next to the chips in a Circle K praying! 😂 Welcome to Alabama!

[@sistergoodstuff]

I think the world needs this!

[@chiberjuberdourado2487]

@@sistergoodstuff It was very kind of them to include me!

[@IzzyKawaiichi]

You're in the bible belt. What do you expect?

[@annaburns2865]

@@IzzyKawaiichiThere are still a lot of toxic people in the Bible Belt. It’s not heaven.

[@IzzyKawaiichi]

@@annaburns2865 Sweetheart, all I said was that she's in the bible belt. Prayer circles in grocery stores are hardly something to marvel at.

[@cwwa215]

"I didn't even want yall up there" LOL I laughed so hard!!

[@stephaneenos2997]

A true Christian comedian!!! I love you man.

[@goodday104]

​@@AvaAdore-wx5ggyou sound so ridiculous right now. Give me scripture to support your argument

[@ng3069]

​@AvaAdore-wx5gg Maybe learn to laugh alittle! It's good for the soul!

[@goodday104]

@@AvaAdore-wx5gg you are just a lil sensitive my brother. No worries have a good day

[@blueskies382]

"you should of prayed for wisdom back at the house" lol haha 😆🙌

[@AuthentiCase]

I saw a funny cartoon with a demon at heaven’s gate “I identify as an Angel” and the response of, “yeah… we don’t play that game here.” 🤭👏

[@xxThink_Againxx]

😂😂😂😂

[@brackishnz]

When people pray for a close parking spot so they don't have to walk too far...

[@fabiennevdk7045]

God: makes that person disabled so he can park at the handicapped spot. ✨🙌 Prayer answered🕊️✨

[@Fern_Thaddeus]

I hate that. I’ve heard that so many times, what madness, annoying. Lazy fat butts!

[@tiffanyarrrr782]

​@@fabiennevdk7045😂😂😂

[@marlenecarvajal9603]

@@fabiennevdk7045be careful what you ask for because you just might get it 😂

[@janae296]

😂😂😂

[@mrprikilik5002]

The "I didnt even want you all up there" got me good!

[@sergeantchick2820]

Dude’s just naturally funny 😂. Love this guy.

[@eddiegutierrez3524]

This dude by far has become my favorite comedian. God bless him. 😂

[@zozebee]

YESSS THIS IS WONDERFUL 😂😂😂 We need more clean hilarious Christian comedians like this 🔥

[@anneshirleyduncan]

I asked a visiting pastor after church was over to pray with me that I get married. He said I AIN'T PRAYING FOR THAT EXTREMELY LOUD! I was so embarrassed and humiliated, I stopped asking people to pray with me and for me. Except I was really bad sick or having surgery. I ask my Facebook friends to pray for me. Now, I'm glad that he did that. I go to God for myself now.

[@MarkSmith-zb2ih]

😂😂😂😂😂LOVED THE..."Should have prayed for Wisdom back at the house" line..LOL!!!

[@sarikoske396]

God bless you John 🙏 I so needed a laugh and you always deliver 😂 Prayers from down under 🇦🇺

[@kirklarson1316]

The guy is genuinely funny, just chooses topics and subject matter that that normally wouldnt seem laughable. He found a great angle-in. Good work.let the light shine😊

[@austin4x]

Is that "97%" bit referencing something from earlier in the show, or am I missing an obvious punchline? The crowd was hysterical, he went to the ground, and I'm just confused about what, "I'm 97%, dude" means that was so funny, lol.

[@barbarawoodward6794]

Me too!😂

[@austin4x]

@barbarawoodward6794 Yeah, judging by the number of likes and your reply, it appears a lot of folks came to the comments to see if they could figure it out themselves. I'll watch the whole show anyway so it doesn't matter, but most comedians wouldn't use a clip where a big part of the clip is a reference to a joke that isn't in it. But yeah, with this many people liking this comment and nobody yet saying, "wtf are you talking about? It was obvious. You're just dumb," I think that means it is definitely a joke from earlier in the show. I'm thinking he touched on the fact that a lot of people think he's gay because of his mannerisms and he probably said he's 97% straight, lol. That's my educated guess knowing his work.

[@rhythmandweights2673]

He was referring to an earlier part in the show where he said he was 97% straight. He was just kidding of course the way he tied it together was hilarious.

[@austin4x]

@@rhythmandweights2673 called it lol. I posted that last reply just in time. 🤣

[@rhythmandweights2673]

@@austin4x You did call it! Haha!!

[@kathieb6443]

I was a new widow in 2006, moved to a small cottage with a bedroom upstairs. Decided to hang some art on the stairwell wall. Wood stairs with a pie shaped landing, that I put a 2 step stepladder on. As I get on the 2nd step, I said, "Oh, Lord, keep me from getting hurt". As soon as I finished that thought (very short prayer) the ladder shot out from under me & I went flying forward. I ended up with a chicken egg on my forehead that turned into a black eye, a goose egg that bruised my whole left arm & the next day my foot was swollen & I limped for a week. As I lay on the stairs, taking inventory, I thought "well that didn't help" but even tho I looked like someone beat me up or been in a bad car wreck I really wasn't "hurt". AND I figured God thought, "well you're the dummy who put a ladder on the stairs!"

[@JD-zu9gt]

I love how he can’t help but laugh at his own jokes lol

[@yujelpenner]

Comedy at its finest!!!!😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@evelynazamosa-sw7ml]

I really appreciate John and his comedies. I love John's comedy.

[@picantesworld7723]

John is hysterical!! Love him. God bless ❤

[@ajokeosu]

On this gorgeous day, let us illuminate the world with acts of kindness and expressions of love.

[@lynnetrathen4587]

I love when he cracks up because he knows the punchline 😂😂

[@ladyweasellou3367]

"I didn't even want ya'll up there." 😂 I laughed so hard i woke up my husband and the ferret.

[@SDCB754]

Not the ferret!

[@bambiromines6164]

John Crist thank you for the laughter! You are my fav comedian!

[@nichole1041]

😅😅😅 God please make my parachute open when I go skydiving 🤣

[@ZICCOcfr]

God: hey angels go take care of him. Angels: 🤦🏽‍♂️ not again! Can he just not jump 😂

[@nichole1041]

@@ZICCOcfr 🤦🏽‍♀️ 😂

[@nichole1041]

@@ZICCOcfr 🤣

[@racheljones8935]

We have a prayer board at our church and my 9 year old daughter has been really into reptiles and amphibians lately. So one day we were at church and I saw her writing on a card to put on the prayer board and I went to go check later to see what she wrote and it said "I pray for more snakes in my yard." 😵‍💫

[@206Zelda]

This reminds me of Tim Hawkins when he mentioned the praying methods and requests of various people. I loved his gag of praying for the nourishment of junk food 🤣👌

[@tracyhiers6365]

His crowdwork is GREAT!

[@ojapreferata]

This was like a sermon. Especially the first part. Preach it!

[@angelpjc]

❤ As always to you, John. Thank you for the belly laughs!

[@IsraelMallett]

Thank you John! Good clean fun 😂

[@lindalape8493]

Clean, hilarious, and so true! Love this guy!!

[@Lucasmiller6969]

This dude is so funny I love it

[@makahiadanielle8459]

Love your comedy! 😂

[@PaulAllen786]

“Should have prayed for wisdom when you were back at the house.” 😂

[@candyluna2929]

He is so right. I don't pray for certain stupid stuff

[@maurawhelan3530]

Liked his response to praying for dudes stuck on Everest as God…”they’re not supposed to be there”

[@nanskidds4214]

So funny. Laughter is the BEST medicine 😅😅😅

[@artofface.iwishiwasamua8127]

He's even more funny when he catches HIMSELF off guard!

[@psychlops924]

They really do pray at NASCAR races for them not to die. Not sure what else you should do before driving 200 mph

[@simonerunyan5403]

I think his point was that their chances of not dying would be much better if they didn't engage in a risky behavior to begin with. It would be like me praying, "Lord, I am about to go swim with sharks. Please protect me.:

[@sherrybirchall6638]

My mother in law asked her Bible study group to pray for her because her husband wanted to move to Hawaii. Her group literally said they could not pray for that 😂

[@karentarkington236]

Dang, hes on point, God thank you for ur mercies, for ur mercy endureth 4 ever

[@mosthated8848]

He came to Huntsville, AL, and made the same joke it's still funny. GOD Bless!

[@SolHeizer]

Those extra sound effects and facial expressions are everything.😂

[@__fedora___]

At 1:37 - The NASCAR guys praying and the MMA fight 🤣🔥 soooo good man!

[@autumnmcclain5839]

This is my favorite thing John has done!

[@lukebrown5395]

I’d be down to pray for anyone but some things might not be worth it.

[@sabaha2010]

Not sure why the algorithm lead me here but I’m glad , he’s really funny!

[@zahrabelyea9927]

The 97% callback...😂😂😂 I'm always excited when you publish a new special. 😃 Thank you for the humor, Mr. Crist.

[@JohnSmithAnythingChannel]

Would you explain that joke for me?

[@banksbanks3556]

@@JohnSmithAnythingChannelI’m in the comment section trying to figure it out too😅

[@ellicezoe3957]

Watch the full length special and you’ll understand within the first 10 minutes. It’s worth watching!!

[@christina6532]

@@ellicezoe3957 I'm in here tryin' to figure out the 97 percent joke too. Where is the link for the full length special?! LOL

[@ellicezoe3957]

@@christina6532 Watch the “John Crist: would like to release a statement” special starting at 6:12.

[@2stepper2000]

he is talking truth Tho, this is a great way to reprove, rebuke and exhortation.

[@theschipronouncedassky9142]

"what are we doing tounges" 😂😂😂 I'm wheezing 😂😂

[@sweetpeanmolly]

He’s brilliant!

[@angelafarris1909]

Eyes 👀 open especially with a stranger 💯😂😂 watch and pray!!

[@stinkbugdesigns]

so funny, I just loved the entire show! *hand on your shoulder* Bless you

[@Ally_77777]

I really really like this guy. You're saying what I'm thinking!!!!

[@user-zz3nu2xr8w]

Super Funny!!! God bless you John!

[@randyrush9856]

It's like a group of women my wife meets with at Panera Bread, Thursday nights. Two of them are huge women who set and eat dinner there and consume a whole loaf of bread and desserts on the side. Then they ask for prayer for their diabetes?🤷

[@rockmemama86]

Haha I talk about all this all the time too! Hilariously put😂

[@Gayla06]

This guy is awesome. I would love to see him in person

[@emeldan8420]

Thank you for making me laugh! Was having one of those bad days! I laughed & my mind stayed on him through it all. 🙌🏽♥️

[@katrinawolff5251]

Great clean comedy!

[@marielang9552]

I love John!

[@shiloh1994]

I’m Jewish and I would love to pray for John in Hebrew, he’d be like man this guy has been clearing his throat for a while?

[@gabebowman1071]

Love this! 😂

[@DawnNY]

"Hand on my shoulder? I'm 97% Dude " 😂

[@carladossantos1142]

I love you John! ❤

[@trainsupporter9088]

I remember one time I had a young man of about 20 visiting a friend of his and he needed a place to stay, so he stayed with me. I didn't know him, but he turned out to be such a delightful person. Anyways, one night he had taken all his clothes off except his underwear and he wanted us to hold both hands together and pray before going to sleep. I didn't mind at all, but it was a first for me!

[@ariannamorrison2758]

THIS IS GENUINELY SO FUNNY 🤣🤣🤣

[@divinetonkeye1484]

You can be neat and still be very funny.

[@viviancovington7813]

Made my day! ❤😊

[@fatthumbs2020]

One of the best bits I have ever heard

[@peterpan16smith31]

My youth group at church was doing prayers and I didn't know what to say but there was this mini US flag in the corner and I was like "thank God for the American flag" and one of my leaders said "eheh, we are NOT gonna do THAT" I was like look I know your annoyed but like excuse me?

[@socorrocbenitez]

That's the dude, right there! 😁🤣🤣

[@w.smalls2117]

This is excellent work

[@laurenkidd-nf4lf]

THIS. IS. FANTASTIC. 😂😂😂

[@laurenkidd-nf4lf]

@Valencelincoin Thank you

[@simple_naildesigns]

‘Of course it was 12’ 😂

[@patrickshepherd4664]

Probably the best of him I've seen

[@SallyStearnsVerified]

Story of my Life! (And Sinister behind the Pulpit)

[@Darci3333]

Love him he is too funny would love to see him perform in person😂😂❤❤

[@YuGiOhDuelChannel]

Awesome! Share this! lmao man too funny!

[@billthebax5578]

Start your engines and take your chances 😂

[@abigailboyd2534]

Boy did I need this today.

[@tracezachdaniels4264]

GREAT JOB ALL...THANX 4 MAKING Tee with LIONS NAMED LEO the music worldwide. LOVE YOU ALL...!!!....MUCH LOVE.!! and bahahhahahaha

[@DeborahBertling]

Exactly! And point so hilariously made.😂

[@AlexandriaDarby]

I’m crying this is hilarious 😂

[@710drod]

Love this guy!!!😂

[@l.c.devereaux2706]

John Crist is the man! Please come to Portland!!!

[@jams4jcmusic]

Love his air Jordan’s

[@thankfullyforgiven9611]

I love this one!😂

[@daedal212]

"Hand around his waste..." 😳😆😂🤣 I'm doing it this weekend and will let you know how it goes. 😂

[@beckyanderson2504]

Just found this guy, he's hilarious.

[@theGaytedCommunityPodcast]

😂 This is gold!