How to Have Painful Conversations

[@kellymorehouse4561]

We listen because you're knowledgeable and wise and we learn

[@tupelohoney622]

Deloney, never discount your dreams for your kid. After my son completed an BS in Mechanical Engineering, our son told us he wanted an MBA from Wharton. We told him we supported his dreams but were not prepared to finance his goals. He ask if he could live rent free at home while he saved for his goal and we agreed. His entry-level mechanical engineering job paid 6 figures. At the end of 18 months, he sat down with his boss to resign. His boss wanted to know why and he explained his goal of obtaining an Ivy League MBA in finance. He had already been interviewed interviewed by both Harvard and Wharton and received a conditional acceptance letter from Wharton, wait-listing him so he felt confident regarding Harvard. His boss was impressed by his goals and passion. A few days later, his boss came back after talking to senior management. They agreed to pay 50% of his total expenses (tuition, fees, books, living, food etc.) if he received his master and agreed to work for them 2 years after returning. My son enjoyed the company so it was an easy yes. He is attending Wharton and living his dream.

[@emilyearl1858]

Amazing! Congrats to you guys!!!

[@abbyxiong3931]

Glad that worked for your son, but not everyone can do what you guys did with your son. So it's not so much you aren't allowed to have goals and dreams and to pursue them but you have also have to be realistic. Don't take offense. Not everyone's kid did what your did.

[@BFku36]

​@abbyxiong3931 amen sister! Be thankful. Be proud, but don't be arrogant. (Thats my piece anyway.🤷‍♀️) It is truly rare that happens in reality. If I had parents that made better choices I could be doing what their son did too. Kudos for them for being those parents, no doubt. But Many "kids" fall for the illusion of dreams without good/ready support and end up in debt for doing what society tells you to do.

[@sandramendoza3302]

I love that you still talk like a Texan. It makes me feel like I’m back home. Don’t change it. My husband says that he misses my accent. It still comes out when I’m mad lol.

[@missyfrank880]

I only cheated on her 8x times then never again after that 😂😂😂😂

[@cynthiawarren9379]

She needs to leave him- 8x ?

[@ezekielzauner4245]

Congrats your my Favorite Ramsey personality. Your insights into how to properly communicate are amazing.

[@undecidedtoystore3003]

Dr. John Deloney is the best :)

[@cindymorrison5]

I can see both sides of the inheritance debate. The daughter can use the money anyway she chooses, but it really shows how much her parent loves her and is looking out for her as well because they know what can happen. I have witnessed the later possibility but you are right money in the bank will not fix the hurt in the heart.

[@mrricks4507]

I dont follow celebrity drama, but Jay z once said something very true. When it was officially released that he cheated on Beyonce, he said that couples don't fail after infidelity because the person wasn't forgiven. They fail because the person who did the crime wasn't PATIENT enough to let the victim HEAL on THEIR terms/time. After a week of smart comments, slamming cabinet doors, bitterness, anger, the person who did the crime is feeling like "ok thats enough, forget this, I don't have to take this, I'm done." You have to let the victim heal ON THEIR TERMS, and don't rush them. Take it. As long as they aren't harming you, you have to be Ok with sleeping on the couch, no sex, no kissing, no affection for HOWEVER LONG THAT LASTS....

[@GwenMotoGirl]

This is great insight. And exactly how my divorce went down. The ex-husband had a long time to absorb the consequences of infidelity on me and our relationship. I had 5 minutes and was supposed to be over it. It didn’t help that he wasn’t completely truthful about what happened.

[@mrricks4507]

@@GwenMotoGirl Hi Gwen, I'm sorry that happened to you. The arrogance of us men sometimes. I hope that today you are living your best life and I'm sure he lost out on an amazing woman. I wish you the best, and take care of yourself. God bless. ✝️

[@GwenMotoGirl]

@@mrricks4507 thanks! I don’t see this as man arrogance problem, I see it as a human problem, but I appreciate your kind words. My ex is now deceased, and that’s sad, but I hope he was happy. I do have a pretty good life. Blessings to you, too.

[@jamesnitafoxworth9708]

I’ve been with someone close to me when their husband cheated on them when they dated, while they were engaged, and even after they got married. They’ve been together over 10 years and the husband cheated multiple times, with multiple different partners sometimes the same partner when tracking to that area for work… and it was hard seeing them going through that. The husband had a hard life, and they finally got to the bottom of where it stemmed from. They’re stronger now than they’ve ever been and they’re both saved now also 💚💚💚💚💚

[@BFku36]

But you have to understand there are people who would say/think that person just got better at hiding their behavior after that. The struggle is real

[@SaystheTruth3]

I'm proud of him for calling in !! He's really brave! PS. If they do get enchiladas, be prepared for them being thrown at his head lol ! But on a serious note, sadly this relationship will never be the same. She will always have doubts... It's like shattering a porcelain bowl & trying to glue it back together.... I do wish them luck!

[@bettybutterbean5759]

Without trust you have nothing.

[@laurenandreas5950]

@@bettybutterbean5759and how could you trust this guy for the long haul?

[@brandyk]

I'm not sure about that. She may in time be pleased he at least acknowledged it especially if she kind of suspected it. If she kind of suspects it she is someone comfortable being in denial to an extent bc she never came out and asked him. If people can heal relationships after infidelity as some seem to and other maybe never fully healed but they do go on whether good or not, I don't see why someone not "busted" but by his own admission n choice telling his wife and he also has 4 yrs of faithfulness on his side. That says a lot. There are an awful lot of people out there in marriages who live for many years not quite sure if the person currently cheating or has in the past n not quite sure they want to know. So it coming up now can be a blessing in disguise. He of course has to show he is not actively looking for people online even years from now as their relationship will have tough times that have nothing to do with this but just regular marriage stuff especially if they have kids.

[@dinajones2761]

8!? One mistress is enough! She should leave

[@emilyearl1858]

She shouldn’t have children with him. So yeah, she should probably leave.

[@TheAgentmigs]

Imagine all of the women he DIDNT sleep with, that he just chatted up and emotionally cheated with.

[@rhodoralopez7710]

Re the college-bound young man, he could attend a local community college to become slowly acclimated. He can still continue to work, save money for the future, & have the comfort of support @ home. He can transfer to university for his upper division courses.

[@Michelle-js5kh]

I got my degree in teaching and I spent less than 6 months in a classroom before I left the profession. I work in operations now and I use those skills every single day. Glad I went to an in state school and have got that education!

[@gabrielamartiniuc6322]

Men like this when their wives accuse him of cheating they gaslight them and tell them “you’re crazy” She should not have taken this guy back the only reason this guy came back is for selfish reasons he’s thinking of him self and the benefits he can gain from being with her. Did the doctor actually tell this guy not to lie? What a joke he’s been lying to her the entire relationship, And all of a sudden he supposed to not lie? She needs to go check herself for any STDs

[@Westilhaveparis]

I think judging her and him isn’t no help at all. Give the dude credit for actually wanting to be honest. Shesh.

[@roofieandraggy16]

Um, woman? I would edit that to people like this. Women dont even want to take accountability for their bullshit.

[@brightpage1020]

Secrets keep us sick.

[@Bill-ou7zp]

I’d love if you did a ‘follow up’ episode

[@Moores1920]

Just a thought: this show could have a KZbin comments section segment, like looking through comments and helping people who aren’t comfortable talking on the phone and/or cannot for whatever reason.

[@maryamory1549]

Get tested for everything he could have brought home. Eight times?! That’s tough to get past.

[@applesandoranges8079]

Watched your Segment on Mind Pump. Fell in love, so I'm here. Love your message.🙂

[@dachater1]

I would love feedback on this first caller

[@LastNameAvailable]

Disappointed in John’s perspective on education. First call he goes on & on about how amazing financial freedom is, just to go on the next call & say education is never a waste, when we currently have an entire generation of people drowning in student loan debt. It’s just not good advice. If your kid wants to get into the trades, amazing, but pushing them off to receive a 2 year degree at a university just bc is ridiculous. Not everyone is made for school. You don’t need 100K in debt. The idea of college being the end all is so outdated, it’s crushing generation after generation. If you want to be a doctor, nurse, tech, lawyer, finance person for sure, but so many folks are going to school bc of a dream & their degrees are not just worthless, but putting them in poverty.

[@MoonMoonJas]

Can wait til a woman cheats on her husband 8 times and you are telling her how to get her husband back

[@hoademo965]

Awesome! Love these advice

[@mariagotay9854]

First caller - what a loser. Should not rope someone into a marriage if you are the kind of person you are.

[@emilyearl1858]

I thought that too. What a selfish a hole

[@kristinenelson990]

Steve-why make her carry the burden of knowing what happened 5 years ago? I have a hard time with this.

[@RedHairDontCare1]

She deserves to know that her life with him as been an illusion, and she needs to know so she can get tested for whatever diseases he may have given her.

[@christinalauren5311]

It would be cool if John could do a recap show where he brings some of these people back now with an update 😊

[@Lyn-Miche77]

If the caller's husband is a decent person then any division in funds, should there be a divorce, should be fairly drawn up. He shouldn't go for half of the grandmother's money.

[@jeradkiester698]

Guys, don't get married at 18... not mature enough, not responsible enough... not excusing his infidelity, but your 20s should be for exploring yourself and dating. 8 partners from 18-21? Sounds like college, 8 partners while married? Sounds like he got married at 18 and needed to explore what was out there prior to settling down.

[@blueseptember2174]

Mine got married at 30 and still cheated at 40 😅. I see what your saying (and it could very well be true) but sometimes it's just an integrity issue with that person no matter the age.

[@zbright01]

I think this is a great show and could get really popular. He is a very “real” person. I think with some more interesting thumbnail variety and some pacing changes it could do super well.

[@rachelgooden9981]

Yeh I’m surprised they don’t have a million subscribers

[@yingyang7448]

John also needs to start telling people to like the video, comment, and subscribe. Not at the very beginning of the video because who honestly wants to hear that at the very beginning, but a couple times throughout these long one hour videos I think would help his channel out a lot.

[@pamkramerkohut3616]

Who cares if he's at peace!! Brave????!!!

[@pamkramerkohut3616]

But isn't that the truth? He said it was from the podcast. You told him to lie!!😢

[@Whatorwellsaid21]

The separate checking account is not about distrust or lack of commitment, it’s about allowing each person some degree of freedom and space after each person has contributed to bills and goals. Having a single account can create more issues especially in this ultra-tech world we live in. A bank account is just a means to accomplishing things, as much as a car or a phone.

[@emilyearl1858]

Please explain this to my husband. No combined finances because he “doesn’t trust me” but trusted me enough to marry me and have 2 children. Make it make sense!

[@missmlb3842]

I don't understand how a man can lie like that for 8 or 9 years. All of a sudden he decides to come clean, which is great, but it's still based upon himself and how he can become a better version of himself... and not I hurt this person so deeply and I need to do whatever it takes to restore her heart which I'm about to really break in pieces. It is still under the guise of a selfish motivation of getting right with his wife. I hope he does stop cheating also with the realization of how much he hurt her and how this pattern needs to stop. I hope she doesn't gloss over it because he still is by laughing about it and taking it lightly which means he may not have been taking ownership for a lot of things in his life. Quite frankly I would hope she leaves That is way too much deceit and being alone for a while and realizing that type of deception and hurt that it's going to cause his wife is what needs to be realized. T h e r e just needs to be a level of deep Brokenness in his own heart that needs to happen. I just don't get it 😢

[@nancyroberson8024]

She better run from this selfish man so fast

[@RespekfulFungus]

2nd callers’s mom is likely resentful of no/less grandchildren.

[@thestorybehindthat5236]

Not gonna lie, I wouldn't want to know those details. If my husband was out of control for a chapter and got himself recommited for 5 years just take it to the grave. I don't need that stress. I'll ask if I'm bothered and wondering.

[@christinamartinez8132]

I feel so sorry for Steve's wife because her whole life with him is a lie. She deserves better than he can give her. I don't believe he stopped cheating for five years.

[@pamkramerkohut3616]

You do the crime do the time. Suffer your consequences don't make her suffer. Ouch!!

[@elainenilsson5472]

I hope she response with I cheated on you too so that's okay. Oh and by the way I'm still cheating on you and I want to have my cake and eat it too...oh and by the way our kid isn't yours, lol

[@blueseptember2174]

No 😅

[@britneyog9537]

Serial cheater

[@salonsavy6476]

I really like watching this show ,, but promoting certain products, advertisements,, kinda annoys me ,,

[@eakintunde84]

I mean it's how the show pays its bills.

[@diannamc367]

I just fast forward through them now that I've heard them 100 times.

[@beebeelicious]

Got cameras in my house again 😁?

[@smokeeater1769]

Dr. D always know lol

[@leohernandezcolonful]

In response to kid going to college and your comments: being a diesel mechanic is also having an education. Not everyone can do it. Critical thinking is not as common as you think.

[@brandyk]

Ok I'm going to play devil's advocate for a minute regarding the last call. The Mom said they are education oriented so she obviously has a bias. She also may be correct that her son tends to be someone who jas difficulty with change n often needs to be nudged. But is he like that more recently or is that the picture she holds in her head about him because he was like that for most of his childhood but that doesn't mean that is his reluctance to go to college now. Obviously they dont have tons of money to spend on his college and he is going ti to a closer state school but its awat bc they want him to have that "away" experience but many decent kids dont actually know how much parents paying for college does impact their parents n he may be truthful that he doesn't want to waste their money either not doing well enough, perhaps failing something and never hearing the end of it and doesn't want it thrown into his face forever ( perhaps they once or twice spent money on something for him that he didn't like or really want to do ,the classic example being piano lessons. He may also be thinking this is a kne time only thing and if he's not ready for it and fails ot cant get up for class or disciplined or organized enough to do well or issuess with a roomate or something could impact his ability to study etc that when je is ready in a year or two after working and saving for tbe school and subject matter he really wants to pursue they may say oh well youre working now or your 20 now you should pay for it all on your own esp since you already wasted our money. John is speaking like a wealthy guy. Yes education is necer a waste per se but thet money whether it's one semester at a state school or 4 years and certainly 4 years at a private school is still significant for many people and could be put to better use if its looks like its nkt going to be a success outcome. Could help him with a reliable car to get to a job since he does seem to have a good work ethic. Etc. That said jt is only a semester and I'm sure it wouldn't be end of the world for anyone to try it.