I Have Zero Respect for My Husband (He’s a Man-Child)

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The Dr. John Delony Show

The Dr. John Delony Show

Жыл бұрын

I Have Zero Respect for My Husband (He’s a Man-Child)
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@jessicalynnstrom
@jessicalynnstrom Жыл бұрын
As someone who’s parents hated each other but “stayed together for the kids” I can tell you it’s a horrible decision
@JuliaShalomJordan
@JuliaShalomJordan Жыл бұрын
Amen to this.😟
@ms.herlan7860
@ms.herlan7860 11 ай бұрын
Yep!
@Matt-cr4vv
@Matt-cr4vv 10 ай бұрын
100%. They aren’t fooling anybody as much as they want to believe they’re hiding it from the kids.
@Nousername0
@Nousername0 10 ай бұрын
Super horrible. It’s so bad that horrible feels like an understatement.
@erikcampen8276
@erikcampen8276 8 ай бұрын
Yep. I remember at age 9, sitting in my bedroom and matter of factory thinking to myself, “Mom and Dad don’t like each other. I see them when they aren’t in the same place and they are so much nicer to be around. Why don’t they just not stay married? I can spend my time living with each one. I can do that. I wish I could just ask them if they want to do that?” Pretty heavy for a 9 year old boy. Glad I’m fairly normal after that crap.
@angelicaangel2624
@angelicaangel2624 Жыл бұрын
He deliberately never told her about the 70 grand debt. He's not a child, he's a liar. She can't trust him and she needs to divorce him asap.
@alexialira3839
@alexialira3839 Жыл бұрын
Did she ask him before marriage about his finances? She knew about the IRS thing 3 months in, yet decided to stay and add children to the equation. Now she says he has a good job and they're well off financially 🤷🏻‍♀️
@angelicaangel2624
@angelicaangel2624 Жыл бұрын
@@alexialira3839 whether she asked or not, he should have disclosed any debts as they automatically affect her once married. He kept silent on it and that's not good enough. I would never trust him after that personally.
@mw6346
@mw6346 Жыл бұрын
Right? I feel like that should be grounds for an annulment.
@Nectarine333
@Nectarine333 Жыл бұрын
@@angelicaangel2624 exactly! My soon to be ex husband did this too. Hid 30 grand in debt from me. These people are liars
@LibertyCairde
@LibertyCairde 10 ай бұрын
Not only is it lying by omission, his behavior is financial abuse
@alicec.6195
@alicec.6195 4 ай бұрын
The amount of women being held back financially by men that I know... And we are the gold diggers.
@aramisy.cajigas744
@aramisy.cajigas744 2 ай бұрын
The comment projects a gold-digging mindset.
@alexpeters7987
@alexpeters7987 2 ай бұрын
I know right!?! 😫
@tamiwatchesstuff
@tamiwatchesstuff 2 ай бұрын
Agreed. 🙄
@dougie2631
@dougie2631 2 ай бұрын
True
@ellegmye
@ellegmye 2 ай бұрын
Men are the true gold diggers. They expect women to do all their domestic and emotional labor for them, have women risk their bodies so that they can continue their bloodlines, and they get mad if you even ask for crumbs in return. Almost everything men accuse women of is pure projection. Women bring so much value to relationships but men usually only bring risk and burden. Women need to save themselves. Choose better by choosing yourself.
@johnna4487
@johnna4487 2 ай бұрын
I would have had that marriage annulled if I found out someone owed $70,000 to the IRS. Divorce. There is no saving this.
@DaBossk
@DaBossk Ай бұрын
what are you poor? 70k is like 4 years of saving and being frugal on a mcdonalds income.
@drea4195
@drea4195 22 күн бұрын
@@DaBossk way off base.
@ImSrry4BeingWhite
@ImSrry4BeingWhite 22 күн бұрын
How am I off base? 70k isn't that hard to make if you set your mind to it ​@@drea4195
@Iquey
@Iquey 11 күн бұрын
​Lmao I hope you are joking. With today's costs of living over the past 10 years, my bank account finally got to $70k maybe a year and a half ago. @@DaBossk
@TheChuckfuc
@TheChuckfuc 4 ай бұрын
There's a term for that. It's called "weaponized incompetence." If you haven't seen it in a relationship. You've definitely seen it at work or in other people's lives.
@jennerbug27
@jennerbug27 3 ай бұрын
Not all incompetence is weaponized incompetence. We cant know for sure if thats what this is. You would need to know more about this couple than what we learn on this call.
@TheChuckfuc
@TheChuckfuc 3 ай бұрын
@@jennerbug27 obviously we don't know everything. Otherwise I'd be the couple's therapist. And I wouldn't be naming names on the internet for a couple likes. So kind of a moot point.
@TimesUp8888
@TimesUp8888 2 ай бұрын
This is SO common and there's 1,000 different ways most men seem to do this. I'm grateful to finally be disgusted and No Longer Interested in the idea of being in a relationship again. For me, it's apparently not worth it. 🙏
@zusk8556
@zusk8556 2 ай бұрын
​@@TimesUp8888It's an issue with men in general, but it's a modern issue. Mostly from helicopter parenting, boomer parents, single moms raising all the men, women now being the breadwinners and wearing the pants in society, etc. I've never understood why it elicits such disgust in women, seeing as how they wanted to be the ones in charge of everything and wanted to make masculinity "safe." What did they imagine that was going to look like?
@0num4
@0num4 2 ай бұрын
I work for the Federal government. I see it...every...day...
@Pilled_red
@Pilled_red 2 ай бұрын
Husband sounds like a real winner. I like the analogy John used when describing the intimacy issues things like this cause. When you have to take care of your spouse like he or she’s a child you lose all interest in them sexually.
@TimesUp8888
@TimesUp8888 2 ай бұрын
This.
@Jaycarbrownie12
@Jaycarbrownie12 2 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@judithmiller7308
@judithmiller7308 Ай бұрын
When you have to take care of your mate's responsibilities you become his parent and intimacy is twisted as such.
@OYensen
@OYensen Ай бұрын
So true.
@Dailyfiver
@Dailyfiver Жыл бұрын
I’m a grown man who thinks of myself as carefree and young at heart. That being said, there is a HUGE difference between somebody who can get serious when it’s necessary and somebody who is a child. This guy is a child that can’t take care of himself let alone his relationship.
@nancerod7193
@nancerod7193 8 ай бұрын
Thank you! Exactly
@keylacmckemp1309
@keylacmckemp1309 4 ай бұрын
You are correct. My younger brother is the biggest clown ever. Nonetheless, he has a wife, three kids, rental apartments, and a successful business. He is rarely serious, but he knows when to flip the script.
@Vincenza8907
@Vincenza8907 4 ай бұрын
Agreed. Things I am carefree about, my husband is more serious about, and vice versa. However, we each communicate what we want in those areas, and we work together together to get them accomplished.
@plaidpaisley5918
@plaidpaisley5918 4 ай бұрын
Boom! 👊
@Ashakat42
@Ashakat42 3 ай бұрын
Thank you sir.
@daisy9910
@daisy9910 3 ай бұрын
The fact that he only reacts when she loses it is a sign of narcissism. It's a power play. She should leave, and fight for custody.
@AG-iu9lv
@AG-iu9lv 2 ай бұрын
Nope, give him custody. Watch how quickly he turns around and gives them back to her full time and flounces away forever.
@daisy9910
@daisy9910 2 ай бұрын
@@AG-iu9lv I did that to my ex husband, and he dumped the child on his parents, and just collected the child support.
@aramisy.cajigas744
@aramisy.cajigas744 2 ай бұрын
"And fight for custody"? Dang it, that's evil!
@MSSHARIII
@MSSHARIII 2 ай бұрын
Oh my, yessss!!!
@Excalibur2
@Excalibur2 2 ай бұрын
Always quick to calling them a narcissist
@9liveslisa
@9liveslisa Жыл бұрын
My father told me that once you give an ultimatum (i.e. divorce) and the other person fails (again), if you don't walk away, you've lost the battle. Save yourself and the kids. You need a man you can depend on, not a man-baby. Sounds like his mother will take care of him. Let him go. Wish him well.
@probablynot1368
@probablynot1368 Жыл бұрын
I wonder if the caller’s husband wants to end the marriage; however, he’d rather nudge her in that direction so that she finally becomes so disgusted with the marriage that she initiates divorce proceedings. He must not be considering how much court-ordered child support will cost him. Right now, he’s operating more as a roommate to his wife.
@sissysyme1334
@sissysyme1334 2 ай бұрын
Very true! That was me.
@V.Hansen.
@V.Hansen. 2 ай бұрын
You make yourself a liar and then no one respects you, least of all yourself.
@LGDarksteed
@LGDarksteed 2 ай бұрын
Why do we not have a term like women-baby for women? There are plenty of women that have tantrums, or don't act like a grown up at all.
@denfolo5224
@denfolo5224 Жыл бұрын
I saw the signs too and ignored it. I did it PURPOSELY. I was always told no one is perfect. But, to put it bluntly, I started noticing that I had more respect for his mother and his 2 best friends. He was that immature. I spent nearly 2 years on that person waiting for him to change. Don't do that ladies/ gentlemen! If people are still immature after a certain age, it's a wrap. You can't fix it. And you will always complain. And they will call it "nagging". One if the best things I ever did was to end that engagement.
@1lespaulfreak
@1lespaulfreak Жыл бұрын
👏
@calmingbabysleep1256
@calmingbabysleep1256 10 ай бұрын
What's that age?
@denfolo5224
@denfolo5224 10 ай бұрын
@@calmingbabysleep1256 The man was 38 at the time, older than me.
@dtrishacc
@dtrishacc 2 ай бұрын
​@@calmingbabysleep1256 by age 25 to 28, men should already be matured enough.. if not, it's already hard to fix it.
@hadzeraduharkic9932
@hadzeraduharkic9932 2 ай бұрын
​@@dtrishaccid argue financial maturity needs to happen even before because by that time you can already destroy your life.
@WillowT442
@WillowT442 Жыл бұрын
Leave him. A man child never changes. My man child cheated, he now has a wife who is okay with him being a man child. I was not. I already had 2 children I really wanted a 3rd, but not a grown one. I am happier without having a grown man not being responsible.
@DodgaOfficial
@DodgaOfficial 2 ай бұрын
Some man children change, I used to be completely useless, but I specifically didn't get in a relationship because I didn't want to drag someone into my mess, so I'd say if a person feels no shame about their own irresponsibility and is making no attempts to change it, then they are not just a man child, they are a narcissist that is totally okay with someone else being tricked into picking up the slack for them. I was a man child because of serious issues I had that took me forever to heal from, some guys are man children because they just prefer it and in their mind there is nothing wrong with it and people owe them to take care of them
@tweetscotchy1093
@tweetscotchy1093 Жыл бұрын
“Your behavior is a language …” this struck home hard. Thank you!
@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933
@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933 Жыл бұрын
It's so damn hard to be married to a man like this. I know. Being the ONLY responsible adult in this scenario for 27 years is miserable and exhausting. I am in therapy now to try to deal with this.
@brennanleyen
@brennanleyen 11 ай бұрын
I’ve only done 7 years and I’m DONE. I hope you recover well. I’m financially ruined.
@purplelove3666
@purplelove3666 9 ай бұрын
Why did you do that for 27 years?, do a lot of women enjoy misery or what?
@alexw8821
@alexw8821 4 ай бұрын
@@Mikael-jt1hkit’s his fault for being a fucking loser.
@tylerrezachek3788
@tylerrezachek3788 4 ай бұрын
YOU chose him.
@lizziebkennedy7505
@lizziebkennedy7505 4 ай бұрын
@@Mikael-jt1hkChose? She didn’t do it alone! He was there at the alter too. You guys are so fucked up its unbelievable
@alxh3727
@alxh3727 2 ай бұрын
I left my ex when I finally admitted to myself that I did not respect him enough to marry him. I need to be with someone whom I'm proud of and who's proud of me!
@Jaycarbrownie12
@Jaycarbrownie12 2 ай бұрын
I’m about to dump mines very soon
@emghee2510
@emghee2510 2 ай бұрын
True
@luannkelly5071
@luannkelly5071 Жыл бұрын
My ex husband was just like this. I feel so bad for her. He probably faked being responsible before they got married.
@thembisaodendaal
@thembisaodendaal Жыл бұрын
Maybe he did not fake but often women settle for these behaviors because they think after the vows things are going to be different
@sam805236
@sam805236 Жыл бұрын
I doubt he faked anything. Many women are attracted to these guys because they're fun and carefree. The women end up having kids with them and marrying them and for some reason they think they'll "fix" the guy. Both parties are to blame, she should have thought better before settling down, come one now, his mommy was in charge of his finances lol. No red flags there?!?
@itsdebbiecakeyoubigdummy828
@itsdebbiecakeyoubigdummy828 Жыл бұрын
@@thembisaodendaal Or maybe he did fake it. Many males can't get women and will KYLIE and deceive women into thinking their something they are not.
@SarahR2D2
@SarahR2D2 Жыл бұрын
@@thembisaodendaal Definitely faked. Mine did the same. Thank God he went legit. I prayed and prayed and now he is the provider of our household.
@futuristicvibes2643
@futuristicvibes2643 Жыл бұрын
@@SarahR2D2 How do men fake it? Genuinely curious what to possibly look out for… this is so annoying to think that a guy would be like this ☹️
@katet_33
@katet_33 Жыл бұрын
"What's the best way I can honor my wife right now?", "What's the best way I can honor my husband right now?"... how many lives would be so much happier if we all walked around thinking like this? Good food for thought, thank you.
@show_me_your_kitties
@show_me_your_kitties Жыл бұрын
Yes, but, when you have that mindset for years, and they do not; it wears you down. You can be good to someone but if it's the wrong someone it doesn't work.
@veronicalagor4771
@veronicalagor4771 Жыл бұрын
When only one partner does, it sets you up for one pressure cooker of a divorce later on. In a healthy relationship, that's good advice. In a toxic one, it's pretty horrible
@arohanui922
@arohanui922 2 ай бұрын
"You are married to a child". My god if that doesn't wake you up than nothing will. That's embarrassing.
@nicoleadiaz1
@nicoleadiaz1 9 күн бұрын
It’s not that easy. You must not be married
@thmphll
@thmphll 9 күн бұрын
People don't know how to vet anymore. Men will think with the wrong head and women will think with their feelings.
@SachelleCambria
@SachelleCambria 4 ай бұрын
My sister has no respect for her husband, he has temper tantrums like a 5 year old. Dude is almost 60 years old and it’s embarrassing.
@bluesageful
@bluesageful 2 ай бұрын
I'm married to one. I'm about to leave him. The kids are grown now. I regret staying together for the kids....There's nothing worse than a 62 yr old infant!
@dianaprince3176
@dianaprince3176 Ай бұрын
Kingbabies 🤡
@m.o.s.h.1836
@m.o.s.h.1836 Жыл бұрын
It's really hard to understand a man-child husband/partner or lover. It's a toxic relationship. 😢
@mefirst27
@mefirst27 Жыл бұрын
Mothering to your husband is very hard you need to teach him every household chores and like a child he would do tantrums when you ask for a help specially if he was busy playing mobile games and after reminding him many times his procrastination was very exhausting even one plate in the sink he wont wash it..hard to be maid,mom and wife to a child man😢
@wavynaturalista
@wavynaturalista Жыл бұрын
Girl, run. This describes my ex husband exactly. It’s very highly unlikely that he will change. Leave now with your dignity in tact because the divorce will be ugly.
@dangerzone24
@dangerzone24 6 ай бұрын
Staying for the kids is the worst thing you can do. Once my parents split up, the tension, fights, and drama all came to an end. It was better to have two happy parents living separately than to have to hear them fighting in the next room. Trust me.
@kaitlin8669
@kaitlin8669 2 ай бұрын
It got way worse for me after my parents divorced. A ton of fights over child support. Then dad kept dating women that wanted to get rid of us and he would go into denial about it. Mom fell into poverity and had to work multiple stressful jobs.
@ijustneedmyself
@ijustneedmyself 2 ай бұрын
​@@kaitlin8669 It just goes to show you that everyone's circumstances are different and what's good for one family isn't necessarily the best for another nor is it the best for every person in the family. It's just awful all around.
@The_Last_Erdapfel
@The_Last_Erdapfel 2 ай бұрын
​@overlordfemto7523 you can't set aside your feelings. You can repress them for a certain time, but eventually they might make you feel miserable and/or break through ...
@kingboy280
@kingboy280 Ай бұрын
@overlordfemto7523yep this.
@dianaprince3176
@dianaprince3176 Ай бұрын
@overlordfemto7523Says the kingbaby 🤡
@mimimonster
@mimimonster Жыл бұрын
This caller described my parents relationship. They are still married and my father still acts this way and it’s just gotten worse over the years. Myself and all 3 siblings had sought therapy as adults to deal with the dysfunctional environment we grew up in. We all wish our mother had left because we didn’t need to see that. If the caller’s husband refuses to try and change, she needs out for the sake of her children who ARE ABSOLUTELY learning horrible things from what they are seeing. It is not behavior they need modeled in front of them .
@giselsan9280
@giselsan9280 Жыл бұрын
this right here. I have a family member who is in the same situation but stays for their child but honestly I feel seeing a troubled marriage does more harm to a child then separated but happy parents.
@veracityhunter7777
@veracityhunter7777 Жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@ez2u1
@ez2u1 11 ай бұрын
Well it might have been worst.. in a divorce. Divorce is no walk in the park..
@Vincenza8907
@Vincenza8907 3 ай бұрын
@@ez2u1 This is terrible logic. Let me stay with this person who is an anchor in our home because things could be worse in a divorce. You might as well say: I won't go to school, because it might not lead to anything. You are playing fortune teller. Divorce is not easy, but it could get so much better. How bad does it have to get for someone to leave?
@ez2u1
@ez2u1 3 ай бұрын
@@Vincenza8907 your reply comes 8 months later. I don’t remember the situation.
@sunshinerose9747
@sunshinerose9747 Жыл бұрын
NEVER EVER stay in any type of relationship for "the kids"!!!!!! My mother stayed with my raging abusive father for, "the kids"! We would have been so much better off if she would have left.
@SaystheTruth3
@SaystheTruth3 Жыл бұрын
Same here !! It really sucked growing up like that.....
@nancinew8288
@nancinew8288 Жыл бұрын
What’s frustrating is we “kids” can never convince our good parent that we don’t need the “favor” of staying with the mean parent. We want to be free! Please don’t make us all live in hell then tell me you are doing this for me! It’s such BS
@alexialira3839
@alexialira3839 Жыл бұрын
I'm starting to believe that many who say they're "staying for the kids" are just using their kids as an excuse to stay in that sad relationship.
@AA-gu4mw
@AA-gu4mw Жыл бұрын
I used to have this mentality. There was so much abuse in my home of all kinds and towards everyone. I resented my mother for not leaving. Now that I’m older I can’t imagine what would have happened if they would have split. Going back and forth in between two households and then having one on one time with the abusive parent without the other parent being there to stop the abuse. That sounds much worse.
@BlakeBeat
@BlakeBeat Жыл бұрын
I was the kid. My dad is abusive and my mom stayed until I was 18 because of my brother and I. She didn’t want us to have to spend time alone with him unsupervised. I’m honestly thankful for that.
@kathymimms5545
@kathymimms5545 Жыл бұрын
Young lady. I have a husband just like that. Used my entire inheritance for his dream a restaurant. Failed. Spends money like water now wants to reopen restaurant. Filed for legal separation to protect myself. Wake up young lady before your in debt up to your eyeballs….Wake-up little girl.
@bunniewood
@bunniewood 7 ай бұрын
Sounds like you need to take your own advice. Why don’t you leave your nan child?
@brianmcdonald7017
@brianmcdonald7017 2 ай бұрын
Thinks he's too good to work for someone else, but not hes not good enough to be a success
@Dean543-cc3fd
@Dean543-cc3fd 2 ай бұрын
Wow bail on your husband instead of supporting him through failure, exemplary wife I see
@Nithinithinith
@Nithinithinith 2 ай бұрын
Lmao WHY WOULD YOU EVER GIVE A MAN MONEY !???? LET ALONE YOUR INHERITANCE. These type of men know the women to prey on.
@gogirl709
@gogirl709 Жыл бұрын
For those people that say "you chose him" these type of men are master manipulators. When I first married my man-child he had an advanced degree and was starting a business. He drove an old car and was living with his Mom as he had just moved to town and was starting a legitimate business. Years later I bought our first home on my government salary (and a small inheritance) and was still paying 2/3 of the bills. He NEVER changed. Although he worked full time he was always broke. (No he wasn't cheating or an addict just LAZY). I hope this lady got out. She got duped
@biznachos1
@biznachos1 5 ай бұрын
The reason we say, "you chose him, ". Is because no woman wants to hook up with a short frugal accountant, actuary, or engineer. However, every guy with a neck tattoo has, at minimum, 4 baby mommas. I had to learn to be an ass in dating and that is when I started getting options. I wound up marrying a girl who was her class president.. Confusious say, "Short man with good heart die from dry PP. " Lots of great short guys out there for the picking ;)
@Nithinithinith
@Nithinithinith 5 ай бұрын
Living with his mom was the red flag you choose to ignore.
@acustomer7216
@acustomer7216 2 ай бұрын
@biznachos1 😂😂 we are all the same height in bed
@liabw05
@liabw05 2 ай бұрын
@@biznachos1you seem strange 😂
@anubishound8179
@anubishound8179 2 ай бұрын
​@biznachos1 you've got lots of emotional baggage buddy that stems from your insecurity.
@hiddenswan857
@hiddenswan857 10 ай бұрын
I’m married to a 2 year old. My husband’s favorite word is no.
@Dean543-cc3fd
@Dean543-cc3fd 2 ай бұрын
Wow he’s a 2 year old because he doesnt cave to your every demand, classic female manipulation
@danieldpa8484
@danieldpa8484 2 ай бұрын
My favourite word to my wife is “No” all the time - otherwise we would be broke & homeless in a year as she would spend it all on stuff nobody needs
@User98681
@User98681 2 ай бұрын
Lol
@lyndaslocs
@lyndaslocs Жыл бұрын
Dr. John, I admire and respect you, but this guy has no plans to change whatsoever.
@bettysmith4527
@bettysmith4527 Жыл бұрын
Agreed, he is a man child and that won't change!! I get wanting a fun partner, but that partner also needs to know when to be serious!
@azteca6695
@azteca6695 Жыл бұрын
My mother in law, took care of EVERYTHING! When she died. He was clueless about EVERYTHING! My husband and his brother had to step in and take care of the finances. Set up his appointment and pay the bills
@alixthompson2836
@alixthompson2836 4 ай бұрын
My Dad is having this with my grandfather at the moment
@shawnellemartineaux6212
@shawnellemartineaux6212 11 ай бұрын
Whew this is exhausting! My greatest fear is being alone in a marriage. I'm 28. Never been married yet. When people tell me I should be married now because of my age, I think of marrying the wrong person and suffering from that. Nope. I'll do it with a mature, compatible man.
@sabinekoch3448
@sabinekoch3448 10 ай бұрын
Don’t let anyone or any sentiment by society at large persuade you into marriage. My single girlfriends are really very happy ( if a bit poorer!) and free. I’m a widow and slowly am realising how independent I am - it’s really ok.
@shawnellemartineaux6212
@shawnellemartineaux6212 10 ай бұрын
@sabinekoch3448 yeah! I value and want marriage and a family, but not at whatever cost. My parents had a horrible marriage. I dare not make that mistake. I'm not scared about repeating their mistakes, just really cautious and pragmatic about it. I'm sorry about your husband's death. Hope you're doing better with time.
@coriemmett1363
@coriemmett1363 9 ай бұрын
Same you have to be careful! I had almost two engagements and God protected me! I’m so thankful I didn’t marry the wrong guys.
@eleanorwillow9671
@eleanorwillow9671 4 ай бұрын
Take your time. There's no rush, and it's better to be on your own than to be someone's second mom.
@shawnellemartineaux6212
@shawnellemartineaux6212 4 ай бұрын
Oh I plan to lol I am not built for that. It is unattractive and a recipe for resentment@@eleanorwillow9671
@Price8903
@Price8903 Жыл бұрын
After reading the title alone, just leave. You cannot stay with a man you don’t respect.
@HeatherBDentureDiVa
@HeatherBDentureDiVa 2 ай бұрын
See my husband was completely different and awesome the second we got married he changed and became someone I would never be with. I do everything. He sits down plays games on his phone sits by himself. It's like he wanted another mom to do everything for him to act like a teenager. I feel like this woman is going through what I am sort of. It's so hard bc people fake when their in a relationship. But when they get married they show exactly who they are.
@reckonerwheel5336
@reckonerwheel5336 2 ай бұрын
Arghhh this is my nightmare and why I’m likely never getting married. I’m sorry you got blind sided like this. How long had you been together before marriage?
@casiehardt3333
@casiehardt3333 Жыл бұрын
My ex was very similar! Could not stay at a job, constantly changing careers, insisted on being in control of the finances and then got us into IRS debt that I am having to pay… why because he still hasn’t stayed at a job so he of course can’t pay. Man child/ narcissist!! I spent 17 years in that. Had all the talks but he did what he wanted to do before he did what was best for the kids and me. I hear what the host is saying but if there is no change, get out!! Your children deserve to see a better example of what being a man is.
@richardramfire3971
@richardramfire3971 Жыл бұрын
You didn’t see the signs before getting married
@thatamychic3517
@thatamychic3517 3 ай бұрын
@@richardramfire3971if he is a true narcissist, there likely were no signs in the beginning.
@Rosaedora
@Rosaedora Жыл бұрын
This dude targeted her to get her to pay his debts and look after his money. Men like this target women by lying and hiding who they are. She didn't pick him, he targeted her. The men saying she chose him are excusing this abuse. That is why men like this abuse, because they know that they get a free pass and she will be blamed.
@ecclairmayo4153
@ecclairmayo4153 Жыл бұрын
Exactly! I have NEVER heard anyone tell a man..."you chose her"
@patriciaalbertson5183
@patriciaalbertson5183 11 ай бұрын
It's just stupid, the things people say to us .
@Chet_24
@Chet_24 7 ай бұрын
Very few men are interested in women's money. Don't be crazy and be nice. That's all men want.
@tp6299
@tp6299 6 ай бұрын
AWESOME comment
@vickimerritt2832
@vickimerritt2832 3 ай бұрын
​@@Chet_24nope they want young naive women or mommies they can sleep with, men are way immature now days.
@darlenepreston3739
@darlenepreston3739 3 ай бұрын
I lived this hell, 15 years and I never really had a husband. Pouting, blaming, hiding things, lying to people, finally left me and then sued me and made up stories to evoke sympathy from his co-dependent mother and sister. Fifteen years later he died in that same unemployed, debt-ridden angry, bitter victimhood. Take the kids and go, and get more counseling to find out why you settled for him in the first place.
@kingboy280
@kingboy280 Ай бұрын
I bet you sucked and nagged constantly. Takes two to tango sis
@nancinew8288
@nancinew8288 Жыл бұрын
Get out asap. I divorced a man child after 10 miserable years and it’s been awesome being free! I had to realize that this type of dynamic is actually not a marriage and has nothing to do with marriage. Children cannot be married. Only strong healthy adults can participate in a marriage. Take care God Bless❤️
@Joel-pg4yi
@Joel-pg4yi Жыл бұрын
But children are pure full of love and joy. Adults are dark evil lustful.
@michelekawamura1357
@michelekawamura1357 Жыл бұрын
Yep I had a man child for an ex husband for 30 yrs.
@skyeblu817
@skyeblu817 2 ай бұрын
Sucked me dry... ruined my life...after him I went celibate....for 7 years.....and met a psychopath to love...kinda sucks too
@Jane_1994
@Jane_1994 Жыл бұрын
I wonder what our populace would look like if we held each other to a higher standard, instead of babying one another and tolerating intolerable behavior. "What you are willing to tolerate becomes your standard."
@veracityhunter7777
@veracityhunter7777 Жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@demandsideeconomics9736
@demandsideeconomics9736 Жыл бұрын
There would probably be a violent backlash from (mostly) men. It's one of the reasons why studies are now showing that a lot of men are growing more single and lonely as relationship standards are raised.
@veracityhunter7777
@veracityhunter7777 Жыл бұрын
@@demandsideeconomics9736 I agree with you. They are extremely entitled, and expect rewards for things like watching their own children. LOL I've seen many of them refer to proper hygiene as being "g*y". Many more of them would not have any sex, if women actually had standards.
@Ryan-wx1bi
@Ryan-wx1bi Жыл бұрын
@@demandsideeconomics9736 😂 maybe if those "standards" you are talking about had to do with personality and not financial/physical standards. Your mentality of it mostly on men is absurd.
@vickimerritt2832
@vickimerritt2832 Жыл бұрын
@user-mr1my1lw4v Overwhelming far too many men fail to mature nowadays. They work and feel that entitles them to a get out of jail free card in every other realm. so unlike my dad and my dad's generation,
@andreawannop8670
@andreawannop8670 Жыл бұрын
There is a well documented and we'll observed concept called "man child". Essentially this is a man who seems like he is fun and care free, but in fact he is aimless. As a partner, he will drag you down, as you get more and more stressed carrying his slack and paying for both of you. He takes from your life and doesn't add to it. He isn't a partner and you are "his mother". Women need to recognise these men are "dangerous". I married one (briefly) and learned the hard way myself. I'm afraid you have done just that. For progress and peace in your own life, you need to recognise your mistake and end it.
@starlingswallow
@starlingswallow Жыл бұрын
I went through this for 14 years. It's exhausting. I hope this mom gets out ♥️
@purplelove3666
@purplelove3666 9 ай бұрын
Why 14?, I need women to stop writing how long they suffered in a situation they could have gotten out sooner, y'all are sounding pathetic as heck
@dianaprince3176
@dianaprince3176 Ай бұрын
@@purplelove3666Nobody has to post their comments the way you want them to. FOH 👉🏻
@lsgsrob2102
@lsgsrob2102 Жыл бұрын
It’s over, file for divorce as quickly as you can, cut your losses and get out. He’s not in love with you anymore and you don’t see him as your absolute best option. This is unfixable and even if you did fix it, it won’t last long.
@PrairieDawnC
@PrairieDawnC Жыл бұрын
There is no such thing as "The One." There are always better options if you look. That said, this man may not change. Accept or get out are the only options.
@Joel-pg4yi
@Joel-pg4yi Жыл бұрын
With that mentality your best option is says you treat people like objects and not human beings. And you selfish and self centered. But I. This case it doesn't matter. He doesn't seem to care
@JamieNicole1000
@JamieNicole1000 Жыл бұрын
Right
@patriciaalbertson5183
@patriciaalbertson5183 11 ай бұрын
If it doesn't last, then it's. Not really fixed, is it?
@purrfectnails2473
@purrfectnails2473 Жыл бұрын
That marriage is done. Did she say he had $70k worth of debt he hid from her? wow. And he refuses to pay the bills? tf!? Not even half of them? No that wouldn't work for me. I guess the best thing she gets is a baby sitter, but she can hire one of those and use the child support he should pay her. I don't trust this guy.
@murderofcrows7738
@murderofcrows7738 Жыл бұрын
I wish Dr John would start asking these women who admit their marriages were never good from the start why they decided kids would somehow make things better. That marriage had trouble from the start and she still decided to bring kids into it.
@jacobdesalvo2155
@jacobdesalvo2155 Жыл бұрын
They share their money he just won’t do the physical action of paying the bills like going online, writing and mailing check, etc
@1lespaulfreak
@1lespaulfreak Жыл бұрын
I’d ask her what is it about her that is attracted to boy/men? Men she wants mother, instead of men she can’t control, but loves her, cherishes her, and leads? She has control over men who act like boys, because they abdicate responsibility, and when they give their responsibilities/rights over to their wife, they lose control. And wife loses admiration/respect for him, and can only love her husband as a son, not as her cherished beloved.
@SarahR2D2
@SarahR2D2 Жыл бұрын
@@murderofcrows7738 women are hardwired to want children.
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
@@murderofcrows7738 The guy said "I will change" I want to be a good man and I can't do it without you. He probably also cried. And talked a lot about his great dreams. The famous word is "this time it will be better" Women feed on hope , it can take years until something usually snaps and she wonders, what am I doing here? Or the pain and frustration finally reaches the unbearable. Haven't you heard about women who marry ex convicts who have been in prison for murdering their ex wives and children just because they told them they will change? and a year into the marriage they are surprised they have to hide to protect their lives and that of their children.
@andrewheffel3565
@andrewheffel3565 Жыл бұрын
You need to leave him as soon as you can. But do a little preperation. Secretly save money in your name only. Quietly talk to a lawyer and follow his advice to prepare for divorce, and then serve your husband with divorce papers when you are ready.
@Joel-pg4yi
@Joel-pg4yi Жыл бұрын
What a woman. She could have left but she sacrificed and put all the work on her own. He doesn't know how good he has. If I had such a woman and even if I was immature inexperienced I'd worship her and be grateful for lie and try my best to contribute even if I'm not too skilled at it.
@Rccrdawgs
@Rccrdawgs Жыл бұрын
Yes, a women that's financially mature and understands the value of earned money is a rare bird
@Ryan-wx1bi
@Ryan-wx1bi 10 ай бұрын
You'd worship her? Women don't find guys who put them on a pedestal attractive
@Daniela-pr7rz
@Daniela-pr7rz 8 ай бұрын
@@Rccrdawgsplease, most women are like that.
@biznachos1
@biznachos1 5 ай бұрын
Did she get a job? I missed that part.
@AG-iu9lv
@AG-iu9lv 2 ай бұрын
​@@biznachos1you missed the entire thing. Go back and watch again, we're not going to do the work for you
@katelyndefreitas2810
@katelyndefreitas2810 Жыл бұрын
The reason she also stays "for the kids" is that there's still such a huge social stigma for divorced women. They're seen as "having failed" and it's not the same for men. Being a "single mom" has such a stigma that the kids even feel it, that's what she's worried about. What's worse - this bad relationship, or being sociall ostracised?
@victoriacampbell7651
@victoriacampbell7651 Жыл бұрын
And some women are scared knowing he will get some kind of shared custody. She wants to at least be there to protect them during his rage.
@tttgaming8762
@tttgaming8762 Жыл бұрын
They both look bad
@Archer-hg9rw
@Archer-hg9rw Жыл бұрын
No it's not the stigma💀, it's your parents getting divorced. You should at least look into child psychology. Also if you're a single mom or dad you have failed, marriage is supposed to be for life, especially if you have young kids you have failed miserably and it will affect their mental health.
@scorpification
@scorpification Жыл бұрын
@@victoriacampbell7651 YES, this is exactly it. Do I stay and I'm ALWAYS there to be the buffer. Or do I leave and pretty much tell my kids, 'well he's your problem now to handle alone. I couldn't live with him, but you have to on the weekends (or every other week or whatever).'
@krystalgardiner5591
@krystalgardiner5591 Жыл бұрын
@@victoriacampbell7651 yeah I left my ex husband, and ended up my young son lived with him majority of the time. As a mom, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I’m with a new partner, and we have 2 small boys and that’s what’s kept me here this long with him. Because I’ll never be able to live through having to share my kids like that again and risking him getting custody and controlling when I can see my own kids I gave birth to.
@rebeccabamford5505
@rebeccabamford5505 4 ай бұрын
I’m married to a man child. We can’t have a serious conversation when he’s working because he just trying to work and he’s tired. We can’t have a conversation when he’s off because he’s off and he needs to relax. So that means we can’t ever talk. I work the same job as him. Take care of the house and help my elderly mom. I’m ready to leave or he needs to leave which he doesn’t want to. the house is in my name only so that’s why I stay.
@daisy9910
@daisy9910 3 ай бұрын
Evict him.
@saintejeannedarc9460
@saintejeannedarc9460 2 ай бұрын
That's what the red pill movement is cultivating. They don't want any expectations put on them. They parrot how they just want peace. They want to know what you bring to the table and will do for them. Even doing the bare miniumum of woeing you in dating is now just too demanding and how dare women want to be shown that a man might be a responsible provider. It's unfortunately only going to get worse, since that movement is absolutely huge. And because women won't supply all their demands, they just become passport bros, or they fester as singles.
@AG-iu9lv
@AG-iu9lv 2 ай бұрын
Serve him eviction papers. Seriously.
@MSSHARIII
@MSSHARIII 2 ай бұрын
​@@AG-iu9lvRight 🤯
@liabw05
@liabw05 2 ай бұрын
Then kick him out 🤷🏾‍♀️
@kitw76
@kitw76 Жыл бұрын
Women want to have security in a marriage otherwise might as well stay single. Sounds like she needs to kick him out and maybe that is what it will take for him to straighten up. If not then she needs to divorce him. She is doing everything on her own anyway! She saw the signs when they were first married but probably thought it would get better and then had kids with this man child. It never gets better! My hubby and I realized this in our past relationships. So when we met we made it clear what we both wanted and expected.
@josephinenelan4204
@josephinenelan4204 Жыл бұрын
Amen. If some flags are nice and red before marriage, getting married won't fix them. Neither will having kids. I wish more people would take that to heart.
@acd1168
@acd1168 Жыл бұрын
Yes. My friend at yoga was married to her alcoholic husband for 14 years. She said she waited 10 years before they had kids after the marriage so that he could grow up but he never grew up.
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 Жыл бұрын
I guess many see the signs, but hope there will be better signs as they keep driving
@alexialira3839
@alexialira3839 Жыл бұрын
Idk... she starts by complaining about his it's debt and how his friend messed him up financially which is all in the past now. Says she's his mother, basically, but the dude has a good job and they're doing very well financially now. She's just complaining that she doesn't want to go online or something and pay the bills. She's also complaining that she wants him to tell her to stop spending so much money. This lady is off.
@alexialira3839
@alexialira3839 Жыл бұрын
IRS not it's*
@coolaunt516
@coolaunt516 Жыл бұрын
A good man is hard to find.
@mrmann44
@mrmann44 Жыл бұрын
Same could be said for a good woman
@residentevilfreakk55
@residentevilfreakk55 2 ай бұрын
There’s plenty of them out there, they just aren’t six feet tall, make six figures and don’t have a six pack
@katiewaves
@katiewaves Жыл бұрын
Girl, leave him. He ain’t gonna change!!!
@electricbeing993
@electricbeing993 Жыл бұрын
I been there where I was the only concisistent responsible one in all aspects. It fucking sucks. My credit was ruined, became suicidal, it causes depression and will definitely make u feel like u need to get out. Some of these type men will make u homeless also if they dont know how to lead properly. Been there too. NEVER AGAIN. I'm a stay at home mom right now and it is NERVE WRECKING to have someone else responsible for you, even if temporarily.
@rchi3906
@rchi3906 Жыл бұрын
Yeah , u needed a man that u could have respected , that could have made every want ,appear , I know how u feel , been with a bunch of alleged women that had a temperaments of a child , had to build wealth all on my own without any support , but thankfully I’m there now but it would have been nice to have a women like yourself by my side every step up the ladder, having the adventure together
@TheEquiss
@TheEquiss Жыл бұрын
Yep I wasted 35 years of my life. Single now and happy.
@rchi3906
@rchi3906 Жыл бұрын
@@TheEquiss it’s not a waste , just a lesson , don’t beat yourself up , just make the rest of your life the best of your life , your still a young beautiful women , always remember that , and be kind to yourself
@Bobisworld
@Bobisworld Жыл бұрын
@@rchi3906 you’re really sweet 😊
@candyluna2929
@candyluna2929 Жыл бұрын
Your story is like mine
@CyeOutsider
@CyeOutsider 3 ай бұрын
He married he, lied to her about his debt, pulled her into his financial irresponsibility, puts her in financial distress and cant be bothered looking at any funancial meaures she puts in place. What an A grade a hole
@rebeccabamford5505
@rebeccabamford5505 4 ай бұрын
I have a man child as well. It’s very frustrating to feel like you’re a mother not a wife.
@shawnsmith11
@shawnsmith11 3 ай бұрын
why did you marry him then?
@ramonaneyrinck2292
@ramonaneyrinck2292 Ай бұрын
I was totally in this position with my now ex! I got on the dave ramsey plan, and found out it was a relationship problem.. not a money problem. So thats when i just separated everything, and went my own way.
@sobeliever1638
@sobeliever1638 Жыл бұрын
Seems like this show hurt a nerve. Lots of comments from probably a bunch of man childs who just want their wives/partners to deal with them not being able to level up I guess.
@murderofcrows7738
@murderofcrows7738 Жыл бұрын
I’m a woman in a happy married relationship and I agree with them. The woman can’t make all the decisions for her partner (like when to have kids, moving near the parents) and take control of everything, then turn around and complain when the husband is so beat down he no longer has an opinion. There are always two sides.
@eurekahope5310
@eurekahope5310 Жыл бұрын
Or, it could be that there are too many women who choose a man with red flags then beg for sympathy when he continues to be immature. Let's admit it. Stable men may not be as exciting to date, but they are reliable.
@terriesmith2616
@terriesmith2616 Жыл бұрын
I'm a woman and want other women to take responsibility for their own decisions in life. She said she doesn't respect him yet she choose to marry him anyway. She said he's a man child yet choose to continue to stay with him anyway. Knowing he is what he is....she continue to stay with him and want to continue to complain without doing anything about it. So what does that say about her? Does she take _any_ responsibility for her decisions in life? Or it's all the man's fault?
@sobeliever1638
@sobeliever1638 Жыл бұрын
@@murderofcrows7738 he probably beat down hinself. He should have taken a more active role and have been more reliable so she would not have felt the need to take over. This is my assumption anyways. Maybe she is a control freak from the beginning and just lied to Dr John but she also could have taken over because he did not handle his responsibilities. What was she suppose to do? Let the bills go unpaid? Beg him?
@sobeliever1638
@sobeliever1638 Жыл бұрын
@@terriesmith2616 maybe she wanted to work on their marriage and hoped he would change? Shouldn't people be allowed chances or should families be broken up quickly?
@sarrazagreychuk9535
@sarrazagreychuk9535 Жыл бұрын
I thought I called in! The title takes the cake!
@kristen9827
@kristen9827 Жыл бұрын
Oh there are many men that are enmeshed w their mothers and want a partner that’s their mother as well. No thanks.
@Joel-pg4yi
@Joel-pg4yi Жыл бұрын
What's wrong if both parties are happy you can be who ever you want as long no one is gettin hurt
@FriskyTendervittles
@FriskyTendervittles Жыл бұрын
Please have Patrick Teahan on your show. It would be an amazing interview. His you tube channel is just amazing. He talks about Complex PTSD and our inner child and how they are running our lives. It would be such an enlightening interview
@bettysmith4527
@bettysmith4527 Жыл бұрын
Just stay single folks, it's so worth it... surround yourself with cats/dogs, friends, and family, life will be better!
@phelps1485
@phelps1485 Жыл бұрын
I don't know about better, but a hell of a lot easier!
@bettysmith4527
@bettysmith4527 5 ай бұрын
I never said die alone, hence the surround yourself with friends and family!@@kevinhacker9309
@mst-pierrem5729
@mst-pierrem5729 8 ай бұрын
When a dude wants to play or not deal with finance it's such a red flag... I had an ex like that and my best friend made her family with a dude like that. Now, she's tired in a sexless relationship and so ressentful... Dudes if you don't want to deal with money or family please stay single. Now, she's financially in precourious situation and tired and she's alone in a relationship. That looks like hell. My friend's 10 yrs told her dad she hate him cause he just doesn't do ANYTHING ! I just feel for those kids!! Y'all deserve better than this!!
@furryplantsandcoins9070
@furryplantsandcoins9070 Жыл бұрын
Good luck to her! That's so very hard! Been there done that. Me and my x divorced last year. There was sexual abuse, financial issues like hers, he would not talk to me, my oldest daughter was cutting so much she ended up in foster care, we were living with his mother after I gave up a house! Yes I was with a man-child! And don't get me started on responsibilities! Ugh Be careful with the kids. My youngest daughter resented me after we moved out after the physical abuse! She blamed me for him putting his hands on me! It was extremely hard!
@acd1168
@acd1168 Жыл бұрын
That is terrible. But you did your best. I am so glad you are out now.
@christopherlewis2194
@christopherlewis2194 Жыл бұрын
Y'all chose to y'all chose don't complain
@sarahjoe2457
@sarahjoe2457 Жыл бұрын
@@christopherlewis2194 Yall choose not to be good men. Now go speak to yourself and your friends about that.
@furryplantsandcoins9070
@furryplantsandcoins9070 Жыл бұрын
@@christopherlewis2194 I didn't choose to be physically abused!!
@furryplantsandcoins9070
@furryplantsandcoins9070 Жыл бұрын
@@sarahjoe2457 especially when no one knew! Exactly 💯
@StacyA406
@StacyA406 3 ай бұрын
Run for your life. Some of these calls make me so grateful I am single.
@sandrabrislin4526
@sandrabrislin4526 2 ай бұрын
Me too!!
@moonlightstargem1006
@moonlightstargem1006 Жыл бұрын
I have a seriously dysfunctional family it’s not funny. I am adopted and i’m still trapped at home. I live with narcissists. The kids become adults and become financially trapped with the family, the older siblings bully the younger ones, our parents are bullies too. I am in a constant state of fear and anxiety. There are times i am safe and can relax but it’s only for a moment. Then i need to continue to protect myself. I was never truly allowed to grow up. I never want a family of my Own. I don’t trust people
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
Wow! Good luck to her! But it's never too late to create boundaries or start over. A stressed parent is never a good one. And maybe teach your kids about money management and budgeting as well because this behaviour can be inherited.
@Ponderosa518
@Ponderosa518 4 ай бұрын
This confirmed my decision 8 years ago to leave my fiancé and partner of 5 years. This could have been me right now. I questioned my choice in 2019 when my life was on the rocks, but I doubt staying would have made it any easier.
@user-rr4or1xh2g
@user-rr4or1xh2g Ай бұрын
I LOVE the Dr. John Delony Show. EVERY call makes me glad I'm single.
@lisalister8002
@lisalister8002 7 ай бұрын
I was married to a BIG man-child! So much happier with him out of my life.
@samrusoff
@samrusoff Жыл бұрын
My gaaaaawd. Talk about the bar being on the FLOOR! This "man" can't do his own finances? Can't manage his own business? Can't be on a team with his wife of 8 YEARS? game over
@dianaprince3176
@dianaprince3176 Ай бұрын
Probably puffs put his chest all the time, whining about “let ME lead the household!”
@raerae555
@raerae555 4 ай бұрын
Unpacking at 4 am is utterly insane.
@pascalessoaps3735
@pascalessoaps3735 Жыл бұрын
Yelling, fighting, trying to 'punish you, never taking initiative to go on a date or organize something, procrastinate, etc etc etc. Exhausting!
@Lady.Luck.
@Lady.Luck. 2 ай бұрын
I married a man very similar. It was a bait and switch. She married him under false pretenses
@joycarroll7545
@joycarroll7545 Жыл бұрын
This caller describes my previous long-term relationship with my ex fiance'. Run girl ....you'll be much better off. Sorry!!!!!!!
@eleanorwillow9671
@eleanorwillow9671 4 ай бұрын
I feel this woman's pain sosososo deeply. I am exhausted. I don't like looking at who does which jobs around the house, who does more, who does the harder stuff, the grossest stuff, etc. I hate tit-for-tat; I think people should just see that something needs to be done and do it. But he doesn't, and I'm so frustrated and tired that I find myself keeping score... and I hate it. It's eroding away my compassion. I don't have a partner; I have a dependent who thinks he can play house just because he's over 18. Then when I'm too exhausted or frustrated to even think of intimacy, he tells me that I should seek medical attention to raise my libido. It's a rabbit hole... a can of worms... a grenade waiting to go off. I feel like all I can do is warn others: before you get married, before you have sex, before you live together or entangle your finances, truly get to know the other person. Maybe you know them from school or work, maybe they lived down the street from you, maybe you have friends in common, maybe you have a lot in common, whether it be life stories or interests. Don't get so caught in the joy and thrill of the positives that you don't look deeper. You think, "I'm so happy to have someone who...." but you have to also watch for the skeletons in their closet. I have to stop myself from writing a who dissertation here, so let me just sum it up by saying that you should look into relationship advice, do your research, etc. Even if it seems great, look deeper. Maybe there are 50 great things about him, but he has that one fatal flaw. Look up stuff like, "questions to ask before having kids," or "what to discuss before getting married." Don't commit a lifetime to a person based on one or two characteristics. It's going to make it harder to find "the one," but it's truly better to take your time than to settle for someone who will grind you down and make you miserable.
@nicoleadiaz1
@nicoleadiaz1 9 күн бұрын
Yessss! All of this !!! Wow !!! These are the words that we wish we all could have listened to.
@Nah-ah
@Nah-ah Жыл бұрын
Oof! She’s got more patience than I do!!
@Al_Sayid_Sanad
@Al_Sayid_Sanad Жыл бұрын
Have they never heard of auto pay 💰
@salonsavy6476
@salonsavy6476 Жыл бұрын
I’ve been single now for 2 years ,, and I couldn’t imagine going through this,, my security is way too important,,,
@brightpage1020
@brightpage1020 Жыл бұрын
“I respect your choice not to participate in ensuring our financial future as a family. I expect you’ll respect mine to start building one as a single in response. Thanks for understanding!” Then go. Walk away. Out of the room. If he calls “wait wait -“ then ask, “Are you prepared to discuss this calmly and rationally?” His response will answer and you either way and you can decide then to work it out or keep walking into a new future without this dead weight. If the tantrums continue and don’t subside…time after time… there’s your answer.
@julia190
@julia190 Жыл бұрын
Oh to go back 28 years and take this sentence to heart. Dead weight is how my friends describe him.
@gingerlawrence4677
@gingerlawrence4677 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing wisdom and solid advice.
@SassyL62
@SassyL62 2 ай бұрын
Caller one was SO Lovely
@Lauren-tk1gq
@Lauren-tk1gq 2 ай бұрын
If I marry someone and they wait to tell me about massive debt until after we get married I would divorce them so fast. That’s one of the biggest red flags in my opinion
@thmphll
@thmphll 9 күн бұрын
Why would you marry someone without vetting them first? Unless its money owed to the mob it will show up in a credit report...
@Wall2000x
@Wall2000x 4 ай бұрын
He was stealing money out of his business along with the business partner. He probably has either a mistress, gambling or drug addiction. There is an ebb and flow in this relationship. He is only on a short leash periodically. Goes back to his old ways. Though this is from her perspective. In real life, he might be a great guy. But, my experience is a loser doesn't change their spots.
@SassyL62
@SassyL62 2 ай бұрын
this episode was just all around well rounded and just gooooooood
@confusedwhynot
@confusedwhynot 2 ай бұрын
This is so spot on. I empathize with this woman. This is my home in spades.
@kristinee6530
@kristinee6530 Жыл бұрын
I'm going through almost the exact same thing as the caller.
@annberlin5811
@annberlin5811 Жыл бұрын
I never married because 90% of men dated were men child. They were well off too.
@kristinee6530
@kristinee6530 Жыл бұрын
@@annberlin5811 very sorry you went through that!
@annberlin5811
@annberlin5811 Жыл бұрын
@@kristinee6530 thanks but at least didnt marry any of them!
@bettysmith4527
@bettysmith4527 Жыл бұрын
@@annberlin5811 ditto, and some of then wanted a sugar momma to take care of them, I was like NOPE, BUYEEEEE!
@annberlin5811
@annberlin5811 Жыл бұрын
@@bettysmith4527 good on you. And they dont want to do anything either and are boring!
@JaniceHylton
@JaniceHylton Жыл бұрын
A husband is a choice, so CHOOSE BETTER. Read the book " The Naked Wife."
@commonsense5209
@commonsense5209 Ай бұрын
I was in the exact situation as this lady. When I told my partner it feels like you do not care about me for fill the blank. His response was, if I wanted something that bad I should do it myself. After long 10 years I took his advise & kicked him out. Wish I did not waste these precious years on a hopeless broken abusive man.
@patriot-hj5vx
@patriot-hj5vx 2 ай бұрын
My ex was in his mid 30s, living at home with his family, his mom doing laundry and cooking for him. I asked him to do laundry ONCE and he stomped around like a child. He dumped me and got married real fast after. I hear that marriage is not good. Dodged a man child bullet, phew
@EmpressMermaid
@EmpressMermaid Жыл бұрын
Every situation is different, but generally speaking, kids are better of with stable, happy, whole divorced parents than with miserable married ones.
@melanieb2132
@melanieb2132 Жыл бұрын
I think the key word is "whole".. as a statistical picture, married families produce more well adjusted adult children than divorced. Everyone wants to ignore that statistic, for some reason.
@melanieb2132
@melanieb2132 Жыл бұрын
The other point is, 50 years ago only 3% of marriage ended in divorce. Are people more selfish now than back then?
@EmpressMermaid
@EmpressMermaid Жыл бұрын
@@melanieb2132 Yes, your statistics are correct but somewhat misread. 1. Yes, statistics do show that the best outcomes occur when children are raised in a married household, no one disputes that. But this may be reversing cause and effect. These children are happier because the marriages themselves are happy and stable, and that is ideal. But what applies to the average does not necessarily apply to the individual. If you can't have the ideal, then living in a divorced home is preferable to living in a very unhappy or volitile married one. This is particularly true in homes in which one parent is toxic or abusive. (Not sure if that's the case here as it's hard to tell from one 15 min call) 2. The "3% 50 years ago" (1972) was the per year rate. Fact is, couples married in 1950 had a 20% chance of getting divorced in their lifetimes while a couple married in 1970 (more than 50 years ago) faced over a 50% chance in their lifetimes. Interestingly, the highest ever year for divorces was 1980, a mere 8 years later. The divorce rate is actually lower now. All these numbers can easily be found online via CDC and census records. Interestingly enough, one of the highest years for divorce in the US was, believe it or not, 1946.
@melanieb2132
@melanieb2132 Жыл бұрын
@@EmpressMermaid 1946 is actually not that surprising.. there was cultural pressure for kids (18-20 year olds) to get married before the young man went over seas so he had a woman to fight for. The war ended in 1946, the boys (now men) came home, and new relationships had formed all over the place. Probably very few children were effected with those divorces.
@melanieb2132
@melanieb2132 Жыл бұрын
@@EmpressMermaid statistics say that 60% of married people are happily married, leaving 40% that are fair or unhappy. There has to be some crossover with unhappy marriage and good outcome for children.
@Victoresyesi
@Victoresyesi 2 ай бұрын
He’s a sneaky little liar
@kimdramas
@kimdramas 7 ай бұрын
My s3x partner is so immature. He has a job but doesn't pay any bills because he lives with his dad. He won't put a dime towards his debts even though he had tons of money. He complained about my home being too cold until I reminded him that heat costs money. We would never work as a couple and we both know that. Which is why we never do anything beyond hooking up. You need to either make peace with the downsides of your relationship or you need to not have one with that person.
@kristy1653
@kristy1653 5 ай бұрын
I’ve never understood how women find men with all of these terrible, un-masculine qualities desirable to sleep with. Don’t you find it all to be such a turn off? I guess I’m just someone who can’t separate those things.
@kimdramas
@kimdramas 3 ай бұрын
@@kristy1653 he's very attractive.
@brianmcdonald7017
@brianmcdonald7017 2 ай бұрын
You are wasting your life
@brianmcdonald7017
@brianmcdonald7017 2 ай бұрын
​@kimdramas no he isn't.
@Nithinithinith
@Nithinithinith 2 ай бұрын
@@kimdramas he is a Loser
@txspacemom765
@txspacemom765 4 ай бұрын
My ex lied about a lot of things and I found out 14 years in. Major financial and previous things he did, as a human, that if I knew about, I would have never married him, let alone date or given him my time. He continued to try and drag me as the problem. Even though it took me a 1.5 years to get back on my feet, from the time I walked away and initiated divorce, I am in such a better place all around. My finances have blossomed, I am now healthy- physically and mentally, and my happiness and life is 100% mine and I love life now. Most importantly- I AM STABLE! I never had that before. He continued his man child actions after I left, blaming me of course and now, he is not in a good place. I don't keep up with him but we do have a grown child together that is currently in college, so some interaction is necessary. It's not you girl. Run! You will be ok.
@Jaxmusicgal23
@Jaxmusicgal23 Жыл бұрын
What do you do when you have done what is suggested and NOTHING changes and he says he cares but wont change and said I cant expect him to be perfect. His mom is an enabler. He thinks he had a good family and childhood. I am tired of being with a man-child but I also dont know how I could manage being a stay at home mom who homeschools. Going to keep praying and hope for him to figure it out.
@kellharris2491
@kellharris2491 Жыл бұрын
Why should he change when you don't take any real action? If he doesn't change what happens? No consequenses. Do you want to teach your children that this is how marriage should be? Praying for God to just Change him? Faith without works is dead. You can't change him. You can only change yourself. Start looking for online and work from home jobs. Break your financial dependence. Once he knows that you are ready to leave then maybe he will get up and at least be a father. But nothing will change unless you take action. You need to be strong for your children. You can't be what your children needs while carrying your husband too.
@jangrosemartindale8740
@jangrosemartindale8740 2 ай бұрын
@@kellharris2491100% right! She needs to find a remote online job to start with, as doing nothing-ENABLES him to continue as he is, nothing changes. She has to make a CHOICE to change the situation for herself & the kids. Otherwise, she’s wallowing in self righteous victimhood, & NOTHING changes!!!
@kevrob53
@kevrob53 Жыл бұрын
He’s the same guy you decided to spend the rest of your life with. Be careful what you ask for.
@futuristicvibes2643
@futuristicvibes2643 Жыл бұрын
What does this mean exactly? 👀
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
Are you saying she's stuck forever and can never undo it? From what century are you writing this comment?
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
@Venus Star ok, that was then. She sounds very awake on the call. In a world of mistakes the courageous are those willing to change
@kevrob53
@kevrob53 Жыл бұрын
What I am saying is you knew the guy before you married him. Y’all kill me with I didn’t know. How you didn’t know or you just wanted to be married and ignored all the signs.
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
@@kevrob53 No you kill me with thinking that someone can fully know the other. You don't even fully know yourself but somehow others should know you sufficiently. In which world do you live in? Because in our world there are things like disappointment and betrayal. That happens a lot because humans have layers. Didn't she learn about his debt only 3 months after marriage? Unless you can read minds or you are a detective there are things you can never know until people tell you or you find out accidentally
@fionasheepwash2718
@fionasheepwash2718 Ай бұрын
I can relate to this caller, the ex is a man child but it took me nearly dying and him leaving nine weeks later and 7 months later texting me he was divorcing me while visiting his girlfriend that I realised I had been lied to and used for 16 years. He left me with no income and tried to smear my name to various friends. A friend sent me a short clip of John's in it he describes what the ex did as childish and cruel no respect or loyalty.
@dannyruiz3329
@dannyruiz3329 2 ай бұрын
This is proof not everyone should get married. That guy is too incompetent to function as an adult, much less a husband and father. He is too weak-willed to confront his business partner for theft, too insecure to say anything to mama, and too ignorant to understand businesses/finance. If i was that woman's father, i would confront my son-in-law for this, and demand he better himself or risk divorce.
@leapinglaura7343
@leapinglaura7343 8 ай бұрын
Seriously, he's *slamming doors* ? This woman may well be a victim of dv, or would be if she demanded any real accountability. I don't think she's safe in her home. Bratty sons DO hit their mothers, yknow.
@annberlin5811
@annberlin5811 Жыл бұрын
A lot of woman i know make more than their husbands. They do everything in the house.
@salliekim2727
@salliekim2727 Жыл бұрын
Man children are awful. At least kids are cute and small. Man children are aggressive and when they throw things - it’s scary and dangerous.
@Joel-pg4yi
@Joel-pg4yi Жыл бұрын
Respect. Tho I'd feel uncomfortable.😅
@thmphll
@thmphll 9 күн бұрын
Yup, I know women in that situation too, but they knew that going in, the the bad boy factor was to much to pass up.
@annberlin5811
@annberlin5811 9 күн бұрын
@@thmphll they are also usually unattractive and use money to get them to stay
@TheGeekMonster
@TheGeekMonster 2 ай бұрын
I wonder if we married the same guy. My ex husband was the same way. He wrecked my credit and ran up huge debts in my name, started a small business and eventually ran it into the ground, and anytime I'd bring up concerns about our finances or future, he'd get immediately defensive and would completely shut down emotionally so that a rational, respectful conversation was impossible. I left, and worked hard to get myself out of HIS debt and rebuild my credit. I am now debt-free. I do not miss that life one bit.
@marriagepartnersministry5942
@marriagepartnersministry5942 2 ай бұрын
We're only hearing one side of the story. In my counseling practice when a spouse makes the other sound completely responsible for ALL the problems and unrealistically guilty of all the problems I start asking questions to see if the person will own up to some wrong doing like disrespect that triggers defensiveness. If her integrity and ego will allow her to take some degree of responsability then counseling can work. But. If a person excuses all their bad behaviors and attitudes then they won't be changing.
@truthjunkie63
@truthjunkie63 11 ай бұрын
He seems narcissistic.
@mikew3788
@mikew3788 Жыл бұрын
To be clear, he makes all the money but she is stressed about processing the bill payments? All the basic bills can be auto-paid…. I don’t get it.
@robertbrodeur4326
@robertbrodeur4326 10 ай бұрын
Ding Ding Ding - the man-child so childish he landed and holds a "great" job and there is money for all the bills. What a little boy.
@ChristIsLORDnEver
@ChristIsLORDnEver 6 ай бұрын
That’s what I was thinking. Not sure why the comments section are flooding with divorce. The man although has some behaviour issues which could be resolved with more counselling . Finances doesn’t seem to be the issue. Her paying for the bills when he is making the money doesn’t make him a man child
@vickimerritt2832
@vickimerritt2832 3 ай бұрын
​@ChristIsLORDnEver he refuses to do anything but work, he is not an adult. teenagers work but are not yet mature.
@loganjackson675
@loganjackson675 2 ай бұрын
I could be wrong but the way she said, “I just want him to tell me to stop spending,” makes me think that she’s not telling us some important aspects of their financial troubles. Likely ones that she’s caused. We wouldn’t know though because Delony never asks probing questions about the situations when women are calling in to him
@shiamaxwell3482
@shiamaxwell3482 7 ай бұрын
Dude was just floating through life ! Try dealing with an ASD that owes back taxes 20 years and current taxes taken out of his retirement of 57 years working in 1 place .
@dougie2631
@dougie2631 2 ай бұрын
This is definitely one of those calls I wish we had both sides to the story
@ErickaWilliamsCC
@ErickaWilliamsCC 2 ай бұрын
Exactly.
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