Do You Feel Trapped by Trauma and Abuse? (Watch This)

[@anniechang6078]

I totally feel for the first caller...I myself not only put boundaries up with my entire family but, especially towards my parents. I spent my whole life trying to please my parents even when I got married and moved away....when I had my first born I knew I had to create boundaries to protect not just myself but my children. The "or what" moment came when my dad called my first born stupid....My heart just broke because my husband and I had just found out that our son was on the spectrum. Also, for anyone to call their grand child names was utterly disgusting. Trying to explain what Autism Spectrum is to my family was like trying to teach them a foreign language because it was Taboo in our culture to talk of mental health. After blocking my family out of my life (which was extremely hard) it was like shedding off dead weight that I never knew I had. It's been 5 years now and I feel soo free and I love who I can be for my children and husband.

[@nikstar1313]

So proud of you 👏 ❤🎉

[@wrenbrown883]

“The greatest mental health podcast ever!” He says it like he’s kidding… but it really is!❤

[@kms_488]

Imaginary conversations in the shower, the car, when I’m mowing or vacuuming…

[@l-train7876]

Same. All day, every day.

[@DedeMattix]

A potential threat somewhere down the road...yes, even after they're dead and gone. Whaaat??

[@thedog2916]

Cindy, my husband too chose alcohol over my family. Rehab didn't have a big enough impression on him, I struggled with 2 babies while he vacationed in rehab. I got therapy to cope and finally said I need more from him. It's 20 years later, he has remarried and continues to drink and smoke. I thought he was a good guy too, but his life choices eventually brought my heart. It wasn't easy to make the change, but I'm free at 73. Single and happy with that difficult decision. Best one I ever made!!! Cindy, this time of your life is for you!! Take it!!!

[@10nurse29]

Cindy- I helped my mom out of this exact situation a few years ago!! My step father would spend a fortune on alcohol. He would get others to buy cases of beer for him. Finally it led to violence when he was drunk!! She is free today!! Please get away!!

[@2200TAPS]

As a Veteran myself, my transition out of services wrecked me. I actually took a knife to my uniform on a drunk night, close to suicide after losing my identity and overwhelmed with my $#!t. My mindset…nobody understood me. Now, after getting plugged back into healthy Veteran communities and continued help for ptsd, life is worth living again. Get connected my brothers and sister with a tribe that will go through hell or high water with you! Nonprofits could be a solid start. Reach out to me if you need. Good luck brother!!🤘🏼🇺🇸❤️

[@mariee.5912]

❤

[@nataliestark8243]

I fully agree, that getting connected to the veteran communities is really helpful. Even if it's not the people you served with, it's people who understand the culture and the challenges that veterans face. It will always be part of your identity.

[@abbyxiong3931]

Thank you for continuing to be a light to others!

[@stephaniem2743]

If you are affected by a loved one's drinking, try Al-Anon. I've gotten so much loving support there from people who know what it's like. I'm becoming a healthier, happier, more helpful person too.

[@Renee1207]

Stay strong Cindy, and know that you are not alone. So many people experience being in your shoes, myself included. Thank you for sharing your story and having the courage to take the first step in recognizing that something has to change. It's very emotionally consuming dealing with the ups and downs of a loved one struggling with an addiction. Your story helped remind me today the importance of needing to put our own health first because we can not control theirs. Al-Anon is a great free resource. There are meetings all day, and you can anonymously sign on even just to listen to other's stories for support. Sending love and strength to anyone out there struggling on either side.

[@ritar.4322]

Who's the sickest here, a drunk or the lady who controls him. AlAnon is a great program and it's free, and so is AA. I've been sober for 31 years and my saying is the sickest part of me is thinking I can control another person.

[@barbiesergio7663]

I've been binging these videos for 3 months how is it this one just came up now. The one I needed most. I feel the heartache first caller. 😢

[@nikstar1313]

Omg same. 3.5 years no contact

[@cindyasters]

I would always have conversations in my head and think of the responses and the changes I could bring about. I'd even have those conversations with the bear and the response was never the way I imagined it.

[@sunshine3914]

I agree with cutting him completely out - I’ve had to do the same with two family members whose only existence was to stir the shite. However, the origin of the holidays were to say goodbye to those who may not make it through another winter. I’d give anything to see the relatives I adored so much, but that season’s gone forever.

[@msakeeba]

I hope Cindy leaves her husband. He’s ruined her life with the alcohol abuse. She’s gotta let go of the fantasy. She deserves so much better.

[@paultemple5042]

Great Work Mr. Delony.

[@devina1100]

I lived with an alcoholic husband and it's both heart wrenching and infuriating at best. When they choose alcohol over everyone and everything else you gotta know that staying with them is enabling their behaviour and will only prolong what is nothing more than a slow suicide. It's a fantasy to think that you can control or change them or their behaviour. My husband stole every penny I had in the end and Left me and my children with no money for food electricity, school fees etc.... That was the last straw for me. They effect you, your children, your home, your pets, your relationships in horrific ways. Give up trying to manage and control. Nothing changes until you take the first step to change it yourself. Take baby steps but do take them. God bless 💞

[@adrisalas360]

I am having a conversation in my mind right now with people I have had unresolved issues with

[@bassandswitch6367]

I'm listening to this and drinking, it's a good show

[@paultemple5042]

Seems that Jackie's father is using Emotional abuse and manipulation techniques to control the relationship and feed off of any one in his ' Orbit ' . In my experience as soon as Jackie ghosts him the better off she will be. Now I have over 30 years of experience with this kind of thing and John Delony is really giving Sound and helpful advice.

[@nikstar1313]

Oh wow just heard the snippet of no. 1.. that is me too ❤ They don’t give a crap I’ve gone. 3.5 years no contact 🎉

[@AgiGraycie]

Even if he says he is sorry, it could be a manipulation tactic

[@Kurodarkness]

My heart is breaking for Cindy.

[@Awifeofanerd]

I just admitted to my husband that I did this very thing in the car a few days ago. It’s always my dad and at times with my MIL. Now I don’t physically check up on my dad, his wife unfriended me on social media and if I was honest I wouldn’t bother checking in on him. I have been advised to not be the one to burn that bridge. I am debating on sending a final letter by certified mail to make sure he gets it and just letting him know what I have decided about our relationship.

[@clamar111]

Sadly, my mom is my bear. But learning to hold that boundary so that she doesn’t hurt me, my husband, or kids.

[@paultemple5042]

FYI, there is support for Veterans from the VA and Veterans Charities. There's Peer Support etc. But you have to look for it. It won't come to you. There's info online. Listen to Councilor Delony and ' Create ' a support system. As a Veteran who has been through that , the attitude of ' That was then , and this is Now ' helped me transition from Military to Civilian Life.

[@paultemple5042]

@Andy Carsten DMT is a Neurotoxin that comes from the poisonous Skin Secretions of Certain African Frogs. And there are effective and safer therapies that don't have negative side effects. Get a Physicians Desk Reference and you will see the kind of Side effects that I am talking about.

[@itaintobeezy]

what an absolute beast, drinking 7 days a week for 30 years and he's still alive, I wanna see this guy lol

[@jcstuart6978]

Love everything Dr John said and how he related to this Vet! One thing that I think could help sort out the brain noise and put things into order of importance is twice a day transcendental mediation. Look up the David Lynch Foundation for info on how. I hear a lot of angst and likely it’s from a lot of fight or flight battles in your mind. Quiet the mind and ask God for your purpose today, tomorrow will take care of itself. Start your day with a bible verse from Proverbs. Do your 20 min meditation in the morning before getting out of bed after that. Break a sweat every day like Dr John says. You got this brother.

[@sinisterchin1592]

“I’manuh”