Just Found Out My Best Friend Has Been Secretly Dating My Ex For MONTHS! r/Relationships

[@randomusername3873]

The fact that there are people defending the "friend" is absolutely disgusting He took in his supposed best friend to support him after a breakup, while secretly dating the ex, and evicting him a couple of months to move in with her. All of this while lying to the mutual friends to stop Op from having their support How the hell can someone defend this

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 man these kinds of double betrayals are always the worst. Especially when toxic redditors are only making you feel worse. The only way they could hurt op more is if the friend got her pregnant and she chose to keep it.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Redditors are the dumbest people on the planet, tbh. They think they know everything and are the most ignorant people on the planet.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Especially considering her being child free is why they broke up.

[@illbeyourstumbleine]

If they stay together I would not doubt it in the slightest that they become parents. I truly believe they were at least emotionally cheating before the breakup. I think the gf told him the “I don’t want kids” as a ploy for him to breakup with her to make it ok in the friends circle that she see his best friend. I totally don’t believe it’s true and she didn’t talk about it with him during the whole 5 yr relationship. I think they are both lairs and op is better off without them and any friends that took their side in this.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Those redditors are a bunch of useless nobodies who literally think they know everything about someone from one story. OP shouldn’t let them get at him since only he knows the full truth about his life and not these internet self-titled-therapists that probably don’t even have a handle on their own lives to actually give good advice to someone else

[@diarradunlap9337]

Reddit is chock full of white-knight wannabe incels who think that by disparaging men in these situations that they'll somehow get a woman.

[@keplersdream901]

Story 1: Cassie and Ryan were screwing BEFORE you officially broke up.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Yeah if someone starts dating a couple weeks after the breakup that means they had their claws in someone else.

[@thedestroyasystem]

I’m thinking they only got physical after the breakup, but there’s no way Cassie would spring up such a convenient dealbreaker and then just happen to get with OP’s best friend the literal next week. Probably had each other in their sights for a while, emotional affair and whatnot, and then Cassie came up with the no kids thing so she wouldn’t have to be the bad guy and break up with OP.

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

No question.

[@Vasilia4]

@@Aaron-kj8dv it doesn't. It took me 4 days to start dating a new person whom I didn't know prior to being broken up with

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@Vasilia4 how long was the prior relationship? I think that matters in this case. If it was under a year, maybe even a little over, I could maybe understand. But over 5 years, and you’re dating someone new within a week? Sketchy asf.

[@timtompkins8774]

I don't think Cassie is a great person. She lied to you for years about wanting kids and started dating your best friend within a couple of weeks. I don't no how a good person can date your best friend within 2 weeks of ending a 5 1/2 year relationship. I have a feeling they were together long before you break up and the kid thing was so you would break up with her

[@thedestroyasystem]

Those were my thoughts as well. It’s just too big of a coincidence.

[@zerobolt9506]

Also she's now dating a AH that throw his best friend out at his lowest point, if she really cared about OP at all, she'd dump the guy, bet he'll find a secret way of getting her pregnant & she'll come crying to OP.

[@nailahking7304]

The best friend is gross, but I’m sure the karma will get them in the end.

[@itsjustme7487]

@@nailahking7304 🤞

[@robertx8020]

Tbh people can change their minds about almost everything so I don't know if this was her plan all along ...even OP doesn't seem to think so!

[@mscopycat5137]

I will never understand why people want to date their friend's ex. Like there are literally billions of people on the planet and millions if not thousands of people in your country. Do you enjoy drama? Do you like complicating your life that much? Jesus...🙄

[@jamestown8398]

These people are false friends. They like to see how far they can push the line, how much they can make those around them suffer before getting called out.

[@illbeyourstumbleine]

The thought of sleeping with someone my sister has been with makes me throw up a bit in my mouth. I also have 2 non biological sisters. Basically 2 women (they are sisters irl) who I have been best friends with my entire life like OP and his “friend”. I feel the same way about them and any of their ex partners. You hear about the good, bad and the ugly after a breakup. I don’t understand how anyone could think “Sounds like what I need in my life” after being there for a close friend or family member after a breakup. For sure makes me think there was cheating going on beforehand, which is so gross and scummy. I hope OP gets real friends in his life❤

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

BC he doesnt have other options. He went after a vulnerable chick bc she was easy. He is even living with her in a paid apartment now (good for him). I think the girl is obviously crazy and will probably come to her senses one day. I also think the ex bf is just a user.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

@@illbeyourstumbleine ya me and my 5 best friends (dudes i have known since 5/6 years old and we are now mid 30s), never did this thing with ex's. Maybe some cross over with casual flings and stuff when we were younger, but never women any of us actually had committed relationships with.

[@amandasunshine2]

They were absolutely dating before she was OP's ex.

[@chrisidornigie]

Last story: OP and his wife sound insufferable… YTA. Trying to register all the hypocrisy is giving me a headache🙃

[@buildman126]

All of them sound terrible lmao. They're all made for each other

[@owenfautley]

Bit of a difference between crochet and getting glitter in a carpet and resin on the coffee table, the mother ruined her sons property.

[@itme154]

"Knitting is actually just as messy as dumping a barrel of resin on the carpet and table!!!!" - u. Jesus dude while the hypocrisy is bad they were fine with the mom needing a break. They aren't fine with her DESTROYING THEIR FUCKING HOME. Please get that into your cold war bunker thick skull. It really is not that hard to understand that causing damage to someone's home makes them mad. That being said. I am happy that you are single handily keeping Crayola in business.

[@fio1153]

Story 3, anyone else notice the part about the mum being introverted, being called out as rude, the toddler comment, the seafood gagging, etc. was repeated 3 times?

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes! Don't know what was going on there!

[@brigidtheirish]

@@carolroberts4614 I think OP copied and pasted that bit into several comments.

[@tinak2576]

lol. I had to check the video. 😂

[@ondank]

Story 2 - Wow OP sounds like she has found a great guy who cares about her son, has a good job and values her company. And she thinks it "melodramatic" when that guy WANTS to spend time with her and her son on Christmas. Like actually what the hell.

[@t.matthies3049]

I know. And her blaming him for picking fights over medical treatments for a child. . . When he's a pediatrician. And doesn't want the child to die a preventable death (he's probably seen cases where that has happened, and doesn't want that for their niece).

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

Can we talk about how evil and disgusting the people who accused OP in Story 1 of being an abuser and controlling his girlfriend are? Why are people so desperate to claim “political inaccuracy” or whatever where there is none? He did nothing wrong!

[@joaolima7131]

Because to reddit, men are always the villain

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

I agree, op wasn’t being controlling of ex’s body since if he was he’d be demanding her to get pregnant. Op said okay and broke up because it was a deal breaker.

[@fs5miFi1dM4u5]

Just turn it on them and watch their brains melt because it's outside their programming.

[@robertx8020]

Because Reddit always have some extremists on both sides of the spectrum in ALL cases

[@marissabryan3521]

Dude Reddit is weird af when it comes pregnancies and wanting kids

[@jackchop1576]

The "frenemy orbiter" is that dude who lurks around waiting for the first opportunity to bang their friend's ex.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Also probably pouring poison in her ear about the best friend little by little

[@diarradunlap9337]

@@Aaron-kj8dv Yep. This is why one should always be wary of so-called "friends." Betrayal NEVER comes from one's enemies; it's always one's "family and friends" who are capable of betrayal.

[@threeducks157]

Kassy is infact not a great person, she freaking hooked up with op best friend 1 week after the break up. On the wife vs mother, to me it kinda sounds like the wife is a massive hypocrite lol.

[@zebnemma]

Kassy is a terrible person because she knows how much it will hurt OP for dating his best friend. If she actually loved OP she wouldn't want to hurt him like this, even if he's an ex. Ryan is a terrible person for getting with his ex IMMEDIATLY after they broke up, rubbing even more salt into OPs fresh wounds. I think it's terrible to date friends or familys exes at all but even more fucking evil to do it behind their back and only a few weeks after... Jeeeesus chriiiiist both of those people are terrible. Ryan literally went over to the ex's apartment to get stuff for heartbroken OP and while there he seduced her and shit... *barf* omg what a piece of garbage friend. I don't doubt for a second that Ryan took advantage of the ex's vulnerability. She's heartbroken, OP's heartbroken... And in comes Ryan with dick in hand "Yoooo bitch this cock will cure your heartbreak LMAO". Friends like Ryan is worse than having an enemy. Opportunistic asshole friends in a nutshell.

[@sugakookie7985]

I kind of feel sorry for Kassy, she just told him she didn't want kids and he dumped her, a shoulder to cry on turned into something more I'd say Ryan is the predator here he took advantage of a sad situation.

[@MegaMegafran]

@@sugakookie7985 that would be the case if it had been a ONS, but she kept dating him and it didn't even cross her mind to give OP a heads up, that makes her the bad guy too

[@threeducks157]

@@sugakookie7985 yea while she is no angel the real villain is the so called friend. I would had placed no blame on her but not only are they openly dating, they moved in together.

[@Telamere]

I'm not sure, the best friend could have been predatory, Kassy may have been distraught.

[@dm9078]

She used the kid as an excuse to get him to break up so she could be with the bestie. If he hadn’t taken the bait she would have manufactured something else. OP now knows who his “friend” is. And if he has been living there for any length of time, paying rent, getting mail etc he is a tenant and the POS ex friend has to give him 30 days notice at least! Story 2 It’s time for Phillip to jettison this broad and send her back to her family. YTA! Story 3 an ESH story if I ever heard one!

[@Swnsasy]

Absolutely! I competently agree with you about the baby thing.. 1 week later? Give me a break!!

[@Mimikinn]

Damn, I wanna give the OP from the first story a big hug. He’s been betrayed by the two people he loved and trusted the most in the world. I wish him all the best in life and that he finds a good woman who wants a family too. And I bet Ryan and Cassie end up breaking up/hating each other cuz they’re both liars with no loyalty or principles. Those kind of people never last as a couple cuz they can’t trust each other.

[@becausemynameiscommon5609]

Story 3 : I had to go and read all of the edits and comments the op made and his wife sounds like a huge hypocritical nightmare who bullied his mom for her need to step away from situation at times. He sounds like a crappy son who not only enabled his horrible wife, but also bullied his mom too. After all of that I don't even know why she wants to see them at all.

[@thethirdtime9168]

This was exactly my takeaway. He's accepting and enabling his wife who really seems to be a high maintenance and downright cruel to the mom in particular at times, and it feels like wife was stirring some sort of competition from the beginning that mom got dragged down into. The lack of concern and constant picking on mother from both OP and wife is appalling. Mom def seemed a bit petty at this point, which makes it an ESH to me for this situation in particular, but it's fully caused by OP's handling until now.

[@TraceyBoyland]

@@thethirdtime9168 my thoughts too

[@justlooking1299]

Exactly and this was before the edits .

[@damien678]

Stepping away from a conflict is an incredibly good anger management technique and way to de-escalate too :(

[@BexsBoxofConfusion]

I think it depends. I’m autistic adhd and get severely overwhelmed by socializing (have a big adhd family) but when I need time away I ensure it is appropriate and not in the middle of stuff. It really depends on how much of the time the mom spends away, and whether she makes a big deal of it or husg slinks away. Also depends on how she commented and refused to eat the wife’s cooking. It really could be that the mom made it a point to not eat, and the wife showed up at 7 fishes thinking something would be available to her. It also depends on what the rude comments were, how frequent, and whether the wife’s rude comments back are a response to those rude comments. Lastly, the mom being mad about the wife crocheting is WEIRD because it’s such a small hobby that takes virtually no space. I play games and talk to my friend while she’s knitting. It’s such a weird thing to get upset about, and I think it says a lot about the mom that it even became a thing to react to AT ALL, and that the mom goes way overboard by bringing a messy hobby and doing it where it can ruin furniture and other things. There’s too much, to me, that is up in the air, whereas the choices the mom made is so obviously assholery

[@maggpiprime954]

That last family sounds _exhausting._ Just cascading misunderstandings/lack of empathy for anxiety and then expecting grace when anxiety affects the other in turn. Just... WOW. I hate them.

[@carolroberts4614]

If I was part of a family like that, I think I'd crawl into a hole, and pull the hole in after me!

[@itme154]

Almost like that is exactly how OP's wife feels! Weird how that works huh.

[@maggpiprime954]

@@itme154 no shit sherlock

[@packergeek10]

Store 1: Don't be surprised if they were banging before the op and ex broke up. Sounds like she came up with child reason to escape guilt.

[@MisterNightfish]

That last family sounds like they deserve each other, to be honest and if anyone is NTA it's probably actually the mom, considering we are hearing the story told through the other side. The more OP lets out, the more it sounds like they were being worse to the mom than the mom was to them.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

Story 3? Yeah. I get why she did resin.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

Also it’s kind of telling that everyone else in the family seem to particularly like the mom and called OP and his wife out on their hypocrisy. Idk. Giving OP the benefit of the doubt, it’s ESH. But my gut is leaning more towards YTA for OP and his wife.

[@Davtwan]

Yeah, the more OP explains himself, the more I want to hear her mom’s point of view. He’s digging a big “unreliable narrator” hole.

[@MisterNightfish]

@@Rose-yt5hi Yea, I noticed that too. Hm... everyone loves mom except for the wife? How strange. If mom was so awful, how come nobody else notices? Also, "mom is a massive introvert and was cold when meeting the wife". How cold was she really? How much of that is just in wife's head because introverts dont immediately slobber you with kisses when they meet you. (source: am introvert)

[@tiryaclearsong421]

As a knitter, I bring it to family events because it's a social hobby. I can knit while being social. My mom brings crochet and both my grandparents and several cousins bring their own fiber arts including rug making. I even have a cousin who brings hand sewing around. As long as the crafter always has control of any dangerous tools around littles it is no issue whatsoever. But this family seems insane and awful. Nobody acts normally over literally anything.

[@brianna_lynch]

I’m childfree and i’d never date someone without telling them i’m childfree.

[@maddiemaccheese8170]

Exactly, not to mention she eventually said she felt that way for years and just never brought it up until Covid happened. That's just wacked. She strung him along for years

[@hendyo_98]

Tbf, they started as teens, kids would’ve been the furthest things from their minds

[@maddiemaccheese8170]

@@hendyo_98 Not always true, I mean when I was a teen I knew I wanted to be a mom and that hasn't changed, but of course whatever you think about it as a teen is very susceptible to change

[@brianna_lynch]

@@hendyo_98 Ive known that i’m childfree since I was 13.

[@videofan1010]

She sounds like she was a fencesitter who finally decided which side.

[@Russman67]

Story 3: Can y'all just agree that your mom and wife don't like each other? I mean without the context MIL is the asshole but this is just the latest skirmish in this family fight. Stay apart. Y'all don't get along! ESH!

[@Bucketus.Lord.of.Buckets]

On the surface, Ryan broke the bro code. When more got revealed, things got worse. Hopefully he and Cassie got annihilated by the coof.

[@groofromtheup5719]

s2; I'd spend that lonely time at Christmas researching divorce laws and lawyer reviews.

[@andysheepleton]

I know. Less than a year long marriage, so no big payout. They have no common children together. His wife does not love or respect him. RUN FORREST, RUN!!

[@Notoriouscj1]

Story 1 : ex gf lied I’m 100% sure she was fucking the bf before the breakup and lied about not wanting kids to breakup so they can be together.

[@jackspring7709]

Story 1: Ryan is an absolute POS with everything he did - but karma normally sorts those types out and I hope OP gives us an update when it does. P.S.Cassie's a POS, too, but OP doesn't realise it yet.

[@maddiemaccheese8170]

I don't care if OP says Cassie is the best person in the world. She's objectively not when she started dating her ex's best friend not even a week after a break up. She must have been real torn up about being dumped if she moved on that quick 💀 Not to mention she hid her feelings about wanting kids from OP for years and strung him along. Ryan is bad, maybe even worse because he betrayed OP, but Cassie is not the saint OP thinks she is. As a woman, I can confirm that there are millions of women who are infinitely better than Cassie and would never dream of doing something like this.

[@coreymartin6486]

The mental gymnastics that it took you to come up with this....wow. Nevermind that if Cassie had a shred of respect for OP she would have talked to him about it as well, and not just Ryan. And if you're spreading your legs after a week out of a 5 year relationship than you are morally sexually loose.....if this wasn't a planned breakup on her part than that's all it takes from a 5 year relationship? 1 week?

[@coreymartin6486]

The stereotype of women avoiding accountability is true in your rationalization as well.

[@maddiemaccheese8170]

@@coreymartin6486 Are you responding to me? You just said everything I said. She had no respect for OP and must have had the breakup in mind for a long time for her to have jumped ship that fast, let alone to her own ex's best friend. She also mentioned that she felt that way about having kids for literal years and just never mentioned it to OP, so she was stringing him along for all that time. She's vile.

[@RanDom-lk6rx]

I can kind of understand the child free thing- they’ve been together since they were like 17-18? She may not have been “sure” back then and by the time she was might’ve sunk cost that fallacy like an idiot. But everything else? Nah she’s scum and definitely cheated before that 1 week limit.

[@squirrel670]

@@maddiemaccheese8170 exactly what I said. I literally said she's vile. Also a woman. Are we not calling it how it is?

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

I'm not into banning my friends dating my exes as long as they started AFTER we broke up and wasn't even in an emotional relationship with my ex whilst I was still IN the relationship. HOWEVER, if my BFF scooped up my ex right after I broke up, then there'd be a big issue. Would mean my friend has always had a thing for my ex and was maybe part of the reason we broke up by subtly sabotaging things. It seems too predatory. I'm hoping the ex isn't going to announce herself pregnant with OP's BFF's child. That would be the WORST betrayal EVER! Means OP not only had a shitty ex but really didn't have a true ride to die friend either.

[@TraceyBoyland]

I'm so confused about the last story. The wife is hella rude and resentful to his mom. The husband should care for his wife. But this is not right.

[@packergeek10]

Sounds like they just clash hard with each other. Best to keep them split up.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

It sounds like the wife and mom hate each other and are constantly fighting while exhibiting zero empathy for each other. They are behaving worse than children. The fact that OP's wife gets angry when anyone is nice to his mom is a huge sign to me that the wife might be the bigger a-hole.

[@TraceyBoyland]

@@tiryaclearsong421 YEEEESSSSSS! That's what sealed it for me

[@carolroberts4614]

The mum seems to be the heart of the family, why op's wife should be jealous of that I don't know, but that's what it seems like! Op must feel like he's in the middle of two fighting cats!

[@ScarabD]

Asides from the fact this was just plain gross behaviour, in story three, Resin is also potentially dangerous. You're supposed to work with it in a ventilated area and with a mask. Add this to the fact that you are NOT getting it out of ANYTHING you spill it on. You sure as frick don't take something like that into someone's house.

[@jvangriend560]

Yeah, regardless if mom was trying to prove a hypocrisy, resin and glitter hobby compared to crochet is near nuclear level petty revenge.

[@vanzy01]

@@jvangriend560 ultimate pettiness 👍💯 she's still dead tho.

[@atinyevil1383]

Yeah. Crochet and resin are not the same or even similar. I don't think, at least on this particular front, OP and Wife were being hypocritical.

[@ScarabD]

@@jvangriend560 Yeah the whole family sounds godawful tbh but like... this was actually potentially dangerous.

[@bautistalover]

@@jvangriend560 well if you don’t like petty revenge don’t be a hypocritical AH about people’s hobbies and the need to step away. OP and his wife got exactly what they deserved with the glitter mess.

[@BulletTooth504]

Story 1: If Ryan and Cassie hooked up a week after the OP broke up with her, that suggest one of two things for me: a) They were having an affair prior to the break, or b) Ryan preyed on a vulnerable young woman during a time of crisis.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Story 1: Ryan is an asshole, not only for hooking up with OP's ex a week after they split up, he also lied to the other friends and was more than willing to make OP homeless because he "wasn't happy for them". I hope Cassie leaves him.

[@joaolima7131]

Well they deserve each other, they are birds from the same feather, she will probably cheat

[@diarradunlap9337]

Not me. I hope they stay together and end up MISERABLE.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: YTA your family is 100% unreasonable for kicking him out for the reasons they did. Your right that hou don't get to decide the guest list but you should have backed up your husband and not let him spend Christmas alone. Who cares what your parents want. He is Billy's DAD.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "You're the one who broke up with Cassie" Dude his best friend started dating his ex not even a month after they broke up, I'd be insanely suspicious of that. Especially since he essentially bailed on Op by going "She needs me more than you" and straight up immediately started living with her. Not just staying with her for a bit, _he moved in with her._ The timing of that is just too off, too convenient, to not be side eyeing the hell out of them.

[@jeaniebee3657]

resin is soooooo much different than yarn lol resin is so messy and smelly and unhealthy to breath you literally are supposed to where a respirator when working with it.

[@leopardnosepaws]

Depends on the type of resin. Uv resin doesn't really have much of a smell. Unless you were snorting it like a sharpie markers.

[@jeaniebee3657]

@@leopardnosepaws thats true, but still you dont want it to be around kids and babies and a bunch of people. resin work should still be done away from people. i get MIL was trying to make a point, she could have used a different way. from the other info from OP in the comments it seems the wife is not a gem either. but op could be bio though he could be a mamas boy or just stuck in the middle he was kind of back and forth

[@illbeyourstumbleine]

Man story 3: not only is ESH, but geeze these people need to all grow up! These are adults with children, some grown acting this way. Leaving glue and sparkles in the carpet…she’s a grandma, not a 4 yr old. I wonder if the OP is also as toxic and crazy as all the women in his life, if not he needs to run before they both mess his kid up!

[@SheenaFujibayashisan]

This is the first story in a long time where I hope the grandma goes after grandparents rights and takes the kid away.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍

[@alexandermccalla5098]

KFC 11 herbs and spices! Hahaha. That cheeky little waffle

[@carolroberts4614]

Probably right too! They'd work just as well as some of these alternative treatments.

[@GanishTig]

Story 1, as others have commented, you don't finish a 5+ year relationship & immediately start dating your ex's best friend, so it is very possible that Cassie told OP she didn't want kids so he would break up with her. OP is better off without them both in her life & whilst a painful lesson, having one's own roof over your head is very important. Having nearly become homeless after my divorce it has meant I have stayed single for the past 28 years as I would rather keep my home than risk losing it. Hopefully, Ryan gets his comeuppance and Cassie gets fed up of him & kicks him out.

[@hiddenunderhatse8094]

Story 3 I would say in this one situation this guy isn't the asshole if you are at someone's house you don't start messy projects without express permission and if you do you clean that crap up she was just being rude though he probly shouldn't have sworn at her and maybe gotten his wife to calm down. I do understand the need to have things to fidget or distract yourself at gatherings at church I bring crochet or drawing supplies to keep me from hyper focusing and freaking out. For the ready of it the prior instances both his mom and his wife need therapy

[@neonlights3739]

Hey Mark. Life’s a little all over the place at the moment. My grandpa just had a stroke yesterday and we just found out he’s not going to make it. I’m sorry to drop this here, I realize it’s pretty heavy. I just wanna say, keep doing what you’re doing, and making people’s day brighter. You always put a smile on my face every time I see one of your videos pop up. Listening to your cheerful voice really helps me keep my spirits up. Thank you, Mark ❤️

[@paden1865able]

Much love to you and your family, and best wishes to your grandpa!♥️♥️

[@eljay1980]

Thinking of you and your family, hoping that the prognosis for your Grandpa is wrong and he is able to recover, alternatively that your family get the chance to say what they need to say to Grandpa and can support each other in this journey. Our Grandparents are so special and to see them vulnerable hurts so much. Sending virtual hugs xxx

[@sarasmr4278]

Wishing peace for you and yours. Take good care of yourself. 💜

[@diamcole]

Sending love to you and your family 💜

[@hunnykun101]

Best wishes for your family and sorry for your grandpa

[@ladyinpink403]

Mark has become a buddy I listen to throughout the day cleaning, and caring for my young children. Keeps me from going stir crazy.

[@actuallynotsteve]

That last story has the same update like three times in a row

[@luciaaylenpaileman4582]

Story 1: Basically every people OP thought would get his back, actually stabbed him, and Reddit is so stupid when the kids are the topic, he broke up with Cassie because they didn't have the same goals after her declaration, and he would not be waiting for her to change her mind in the meanwhile. THAT'S NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK! Good thing that TJ saw the post and handed OP a hand.

[@mattl6300]

Story 1: This young man needs to get comfortable being alone. Once a man can stand on his own without any help from anyone, then relationships are optional, not necessary. This is true power.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I thought the mom was the biggest AH in story 3, but seems like the wife is actually way way worse. I'm all for resolving conflict, but as someone with anxiety the wife sounds like a nightmare. I can't usually immediately face people I don't like either. The wife was just escalating things for no reason.

[@amalielk]

Honestly it sounds like OP married the younger version of his mom. The wife and the mom are quarreling because they're too alike

[@squirrel670]

The mom toom resin releases toxic fumes and cures. Too sad they didn't let MIL get cancer just to screw with them. She really brought that into their home. Just need to let the bs die and get out of the levels of stupid pettiness

[@itme154]

The mom dumped glitter and resin on their carpet and table.... I'd throw the fucking table at my mom if she did that. Please explain in painful detail how ruining multiple EXPENSIVE items in someone's home is the same as making a fucking scarf or something. Go on. Until you do you are exactly like the mom, a worthless destructive abuser.

[@jimdob6528]

Story 1 Cassie is a terrible person too. She said she knew for years she didn’t want kids and didn’t share it. That’s as bad as hiding a past from a partner that would have been a known dealbreaker.

[@thehaveninthehand]

Story 3, esh. I know from personal experience how important it can be to take a break sometimes in social situations. Seriously, everyone in this story is super toxic, but I think most can be helped with better communication. Most families underestimate communication, since they think they ought to know their family, but it's a good practice to have a talk now and then about stuff that bothers everyone.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 3: as someone who works with the resin, it is a really messy hobby. Especially when you’re doing it and someone else is home out of spite and you’re not going out of your way to be extra careful not to ruin someone else’s furniture or their rugs. If resin is not cleaned up, especially after the hardening agent has been mixed in, it can ruin furniture and even fabric. I mean if you spill resin on your clothes/rugs you might as well just throw them away because resin is impossible to get out of stuff with the hardening agent mixed into it

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Story 3: if the hobby is that messy, then it's not the same, and it's not hypocrisy. But there are definitely other parts that are infavor of mom. I think mom's way of handing is by making a mess in OPs home was stupid, but overall OP and Wife sound like they're the "greater evil" here.

[@squirrel670]

Resin releases toxic fumes and should be well ventilated and with a respirator.

[@jerriewyatt905]

Last story… OP’s family needs to celebrate separately.. they all sound like a handful..

[@GaiusGear]

Story 3: okay, I've done a few resin projects, and the mom bringing a resin thing to work on at a party is insane. The fumes are really bad for you in closed spaces, unmixed resin stays sticky and is almost impossible to clean up, and cured resin seeps into porous surfaces and is impossible to remove without damage. Add any glitter and beads, and their coffee table is ruined. Their CARPET is ruined if you get resin on it. That is such a dick move, and any high ground is forfeit when you say "well my hobby is just messier." Yeah! That's a big part of the problem too!! That said, the wife and the mom need to be separated and low contact at best. Ideally NC because this one upmanship they have going to piss eachother off is absurd and ridiculous for grown ass adults.

[@Iflie]

It took her one week, very heartbroken she was. I don't see that one working out long term, rebound to the guy as close as she could get.

[@WobblesandBean]

Yeeeaaahhhhh, Cassie and Ryan were DEFINITELY bonking before you broke up. Cut both of these wretched people out of your life.

[@fyoutube9410]

OP3's family is exhausting af.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

The update about TJ made me frakn cry. There is SUCH a lack of human kindness in this works when I see it my heart just holds onto one iota and the emptiness I feel aches. This is one of many reasons I come back to even old videos of mark’s. I need to surround myself with empathy love and compassion and this beautiful community. Blessed be ❤️

[@AnymousScreams]

Resin on the table, and glitter and beads on the carpet? Glitter never goes away. I'd have kicked her out, too. Always clean up your own arts and crafts messes, your house or not, either way.

[@RandomTrinidadian]

Story 1: i think that if there was anyone who deserves to get a STD, it be Ryan and the ex. Those 2 PoS deserve everthing bad thing Karma can throw at them

[@DtoZ]

Last story, the wife is the star of her imaginary Just No MIL melodrama. The mom is NTA.

[@madambutterfly1997]

As far as friends go none of them have the right to be upset if they don't get a save the date for your eventual wedding

[@greendiamondglow]

Story 3 pisses me off so much! That woman vandalized their house! That is NOT the same thing as crocheting. Yes, the wife here is also pretty awful, but she's never actually damaged property. MIL is banned from MY house, and I don't even know her. What grown woman does that???

[@peteranon8455]

Story 1. Cassie is an absolute trash hole, definitely cheated before the breakup; Ryan definitely facilitated that breakup and is much worse than any friend I've read about or personally seen.

[@martin99110]

I never understood why women just jump on the next guy for validation when their bf breaks up with them. Don’t understand why people were mad at OP. He didn’t want kids, he doesn’t need to give that up for anyone just like a woman shouldn’t give up their need to want/not want kids.

[@diarradunlap9337]

It was OP who wants children. The gf did not, so he broke up with her.

[@damien678]

Story 3: YTA for getting mad at mum for trying to leave conflicts, which is a great anger management technique and way to de-escalate a situation. No wonder she doesn't like your wife 😐 getting mad at de-escalation and tryna justify it by saying "if you go to a social gathering you gotta be around at all times" but then wifey goes off to crotche lmao

[@owenfautley]

But the mother ruined her sons property how would you feel if someone got glitter in your carpet and resin on your table do you know how hard it is to get both of those things out.

[@itme154]

"Knitting is actually just as messy as dumping a barrel of resin on the carpet and table!!!!" - u. Jesus dude while the hypocrisy is bad they were fine with the mom needing a break. They aren't fine with her DESTROYING THEIR FUCKING HOME. Please get that into your cold war bunker thick skull. It really is not that hard to understand that causing damage to someone's home makes them mad.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1: you know since Ryan is so easily ok with lying to his friends and best friend about his dating life, you know he is easily lying about when he hooked up with his friend’s ex. Ryan is a good for nothing and only dating the ex for free rent, he doesn’t care about her just that he as a free roof over his head and a free space to occupy his manhood

[@jamestown8398]

STORY #1 OP should go no-contact with all of them, because they made it clear they never cared about OP at all. In fact, I suggest moving away too, and not letting them know where you’re moving to. UPDATE Cassie deserves hatred too. An “awesome human being” wouldn’t dare their ex’s best friend, especially not so soon after the breakup. She knew it would hurt OP but she didn’t care, or she wanted to hurt OP. She’s a trash human being. As for OP’ I’m glad he has a place with his name on the lease. I wish him well. STORY #1 YTA, and OP is going to lose her marriage if she doesn’t shape up. 1. The “arguments” aren’t Philip’s fault. He’s a real doctor; of course he’s not going to stay quiet when he hears people say they’ll only give their kids “alternative” treatments that don’t work. 2. OP didn’t stand up for Philip when she heard he wasn’t invited, but instead agreed behind his back to go without him, 3. OP doesn’t understand why her husband wouldn’t want to spend Christmas alone, and would rather spend it with the woman he married and the child he’s helping to raise. Seriously, I feel bad for Philip and for OP’s son. STORY #3 NTA. The reason OP’s wife and mother don’t get along is because the latter is a bully. OP is a good husband for standing up for his wife, and I think he could take it further - tell the family that everyone who agrees with mother or defends her can consider themselves no-contact as well. OP and wife can have a fine thanksgiving without these jackals. Maybe take a small vacation to a tropical paradise.

[@Lisapizzza]

'Natural remedies'? I bet they're talking about essential oils and Phillip is completely right

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 3: resin crafts are a lot different than working on crochet. I do knitting and cross stitching and it’s easy enough for me to sit and visit while I do it and doesn’t make a huge mess. I usually work on projects while visiting with people, watching shows, and even during meetings because I have ADHD and helps me focus because I need something to do with my hands or I just zone out.

[@madambutterfly1997]

He's not your real friend a real friend would never go after your ex forbidden fruit is forbidden fruit even if they do break up.

[@singingwordwright148]

Last Story: Honestly, sounds like the Mom has some social anxiety and OPs wife is triggering the hell out of her. Poor woman.

[@owenfautley]

I would only call her a poor woman if she had apologised for ruining her sons carpet and coffee table and offered to pay to replace them.

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

I may be biased as I'm autistic but I take a book, my tablet and my cross stitching everywhere with me. If my partner told me I couldnt take my coping mechanisms, I'd refuse to go. But again, I have autism and severe debilitating social anxiety

[@TheEmpressReborn]

Story 3: ESH. By the God and Goddess, the whole family is volatile, dysfunctional, and disgusting. Either everyone needs to avoid everyone, or the whole family needs big time therapy.

[@GMAMEC]

I love the way Mark appreciates good food. As a person who loves cooking, appreciation goes a long way. If he was a neighbor, he’d be a very happy person in my neighborhood. We love barbecues, potlucks, holiday celebrations, special desserts, brunches etc.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Wow! This is why I trust almost no one. Imagine your “ best friend “ doing this?! So foul! She was cheating with Ryan well before you broke up. Story 2- as a single mom, she should be smart and not chase away a pediatrician husband. Stand up for your partner. OP’s family should be kissing his hairy beanbag for marrying their single m9m daughter! Story 3- the mom and wife both seem crappy.

[@amandasunshine2]

Story two, that's the most extravagant plan to get a divorce. But it's definitely effective. Philip will leave her in no time.

[@LeeLeesBanter]

Story 2 Geesh!!! I hate that she had to be Told that she's the ahole😲

[@nailahking7304]

The ex and the friends in story 1 are all garbage. I hope OP finds a nice woman who will value his time.

[@marleybee1946]

Story 3 Sounds like the wife is a nightmare.

[@Icalasari]

Story 2 - WOW I half listened badly, I somehow heard it as the husband picked the fight and was complaining non stop about them visiting the grandchild. I... Clearly need sleep

[@chiyangamer2063]

Last story: My grandma, who used to always host Christmas, would knit during the Christmas celebrations, either alone or with my aunt. So I have no idea what that mom and aunt are on about. As long as you don't cause a mess or destruction in the hosts home doing something like knitting or crocheting is all good.

[@viennperidot1119]

Story One: I'd rather have an Ex like OP than the one who tried to babytrap me bc he thought he could convince me to change my mind. He knew just how abusive my parents were and how terrified I am of accidentally passing my genetic conditions on and how the odds are stacked against me when it comes to not doing to my own kids what my parents did to me. All the best of health, love and success to OP and the Ex(for her kids' sake); may the lying suppository of a "friend" have the decade he bloody well deserves!

[@MegaMegafran]

Story 1. Am I the only one who thinks Cassie is toxic AF, OP seems to have gloss over the following facts: 1 🚩after 5 years of relationship she decides motherhood isnt for her, understandable children are the one subject that should be a deal breaker, hearing that op decides to go the unusual route of not trying to convince her to have kids and accepts her decision and does the mature thing and break up. She responds by hooking up with his bestfriend/roomate whom OP was counting on for his lease 2 🚩for whatever reason she hooked up with said guy out of being sad, rebound, or revenge (most likely IMO) she doesnt have the decency to give him a heads up, and tell him she decided to keep going out with Ryan 3 🚩they decide to move in together (wether because she invited Ryan or he invited himself) and leave op basically homeless and screwed because Ryan not wanting to be seen as a backstabbing douche he makes arrangements with op's circle of "friends" Which part of all this makes Cassie a good person?!?!?!🤨🤨🤨🤨

[@gtc9966]

Story 2. You’re a grown adult. You’re a fucking parent. Act like one.

[@RPGPaenda]

story 3: i’m not making a judgement but resin is toxic and shouldn’t be messed with unless you’re in a well ventilated room/outside and taking the right precautions.

[@mommieminnesota3108]

Two year update to story one Cassie got pregnant by Ryan then he left her for her best friend OP found his soul mate and has a beautiful stable family now the end.

[@diarradunlap9337]

That would be great if it's true. Got a link to this "Two-year update?"

[@mommieminnesota3108]

No that was my own update lol to the story.i do feel so bad for OP but glad he's in a better place as of his last update.

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 1 update: well Ryan blow up his own life; how he thought he could hide his lies from their friend group… well then he thought he got his story out of first. He wasn’t expecting reddit

[@MinisterManDan]

Story 2: if you take your kid to have Christmas with someone else other than your spouse, you might as well already have divorce papers drawn. OP seems like she just sat back doing nothing as these relationships deteriorated and thinks she can keep band aiding the situation. It’s festered to a point of no return.

[@plurpball3958]

I’m autistic and crochet everywhere (including eating out and during uni lectures) so dieting the post I was getting worried that I’ve been offending people and they just haven’t been saying anything, but that reply relieved me

[@lauraevans2104]

Story 3, totally cool if the mom wanted to take a break too. The problem is that mom's craft damaged property, the table needs to be resurfaced and hopefully she didn't get resin on the carpet. Also glitter is the herpes of the craft shack and takes forever to get out of carpets. It was banned at one of the event centers I worked at and the group would receive an extra fee if they did use it and would be banned from using the property again. But overall ESH. The mom and wife are catfighting over lots of things, they need to get that sorted, or do minimal contact.

[@itsjustme7487]

I worked at Hobby Lobby one Christmas season. I came home with glitter on my clothes and in my hair. It's a real pain in the behinder.

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah, I *HATE* glitter. It's like you just have to *look at it* to get it all over you.

[@CanonSkyrissian]

if these reddit stories have taught me anything it's not to waste my time dating someone whose parents don't like me and won't even attempt to be civil. (datemate being estranged from their parents is another matter) basically just. I'm okay not being friends, but it's a basic expectation to be treated with basic respect and politeness. if future in-laws can't manage that then no matter how great the datemate is, they're not worth all the trouble.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Story 2: I think I know why bio dad isn't involved... Story 3: Apologize and ruin their table with the exact same type of messy crafts

[@lalvarez5151]

Story 1- NTA...the biggest AH was the ex who led him on for 6 years without telling him she never wanted kids. She literally wasted years of his life. She also probably cheated with the friend. The friend is an AH as well....8 billion people in the world and he takes his friends ex....

[@roelthas]

It's just a vile and disgusting thing to get together with a friend/relative's ex.

[@danpatterson2633]

“Have your sister and mom treat him with KFC’s 11 herbs and spices” Is definitely the best comment I’ve ever seen 😂

[@pa-pa-plasma]

Story 3: I draw at family gatherings when I need a break. It literally never occurred to me that this could be rude. It's something I can do to show that I'm busy in the corner, or to keep my hands busy during big conversations. It's also a conversation starter ("what are you drawing? oh cool, dinosaurs!"). Doing easy-to-clean, non-invasive art is a great way to take a break, but bringing resin & spilling it on someone else's table? Spilling glitter on their carpet? And not even cleaning it up yourself? Do I even need to say that's rude? I'm pretty sure every adult knows you don't ruin someone else's stuff like that, whether by accident or out of spite. NTA for this particular situation, but also this entire family sounds ridiculous, I would hate to be apart of it

[@Swnsasy]

I'm sorry but the Bff is what would hurt the most and then ALL of the friends are like oh well you broke up with her so dibs! That's just disgusting to do and even say to someone.. So they would be mad at Ryan ONLY if she broke up with you? What kinda stupid is that? I just couldn't do it... The dishonesty is what would really kill me though... It's that they all held it and lied... The kids thing, that kinda has my spidey senses tingling though... Drop them ALL! Last story ESH: Omgosh, 3 aunts and my great grams would crotche at family functions.. Glitter and resin is super messy.. Both of them sound toxic if you ask me!

[@WembaSami]

Story 1: God damn Mark. Those were seem real ass emotions in your voice. You aight?

[@coreymartin6486]

Story 1 : yeah, Ryan was sneaky and showed complete disrespect by not talking to OP first.....but Cassie should have had enough respect to come to OP as well and talked to him. She slept with him a week after the breakup????after a 5 year relationship???? She is very suspicious or sexually morally loose. ...or both.

[@sarahgreiner2694]

For story 3, the mom is the AH, bringing knitting/crocheting is not rude. It's not messy, it keeps the hands busy and helps with anxiety. The only time it is inappropriate is if it's something like a church service/funeral/wedding. Any other time is a good place/time for knitting/crocheting. I take mine everywhere.

[@sandrakranzwinther3286]

Mark says ".... you was..." and all my old English teachers roll around in their graves because it's "you were". And once again say it with me: "I am, you are, he she it is".😁

[@victorchozen4205]

Nothing wrong with people talking about natural medicines. I work in healthfield. They were only talking about remedies , not helping a sick child or denying a trip to the hospital. Let people base their diets on blood types, etc.

[@emiliosebastiao2043]

Last story: OMG OP is so blind!

[@NewLifeLives]

I love your chuckle in the intro

[@allisonhall5669]

Story 3- it sounds like the crocheting was the straw that broke the camel’s back for the mom. She’s obviously been treated terribly by OP and his wife so tbh, I don’t blame her for doing what she did.