Unhealthy Behaviors from a Narcissistic Upbringing (THERAPIST EXPLAINS)

[@rtt3166]

Your videos are so easy to understand. My parent is now confused as to why I’m not bonded to care for them as they age. They’re literally confounded. I feel like I always saw through them, but my attachment style was impacted so drastically that at 55 I’ve never married or had a family. I’m interested in learning about the 4-hour workshop on mending attachment style. I’ve isolated and driven away every relationship both romantic or friendship. I get along with my dog! 😊

[@lesleysears9808]

I am 62 and never had children because of my very abusive Narcissistic Mother Karen!!❤❤❤ I also had a diagnosed sociopath for a father…… He never abused me per say…..just neglect and never paid any child support.

[@courtneycondit]

🙋‍♀️

[@debbiepollard6696]

Good luck on your journey. It’s a hard, hard life. I know I’ve spent my whole life trying to overcome, but you can change wish you the best.

[@ISquishWorms]

Wow I hear you this is exactly the same as myself. I am not far from the same age and have isolated myself I always mess up and push romantic partners and friendships away. I also have trust issues. You are not alone, and I am glad you made this post as now I realise I am not either. So thank you 💞

[@catherinec2967]

I send you all love and support on your healing journey ❤

[@storm4515]

Who’s mom is also like this too? 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@LindaAshok]

dad. 😢

[@billygoatpapa1]

Both for me.

[@brittanywilcox7377]

My mom is exactly like this and my dad isn't much better. He's less volatile though

[@LindaAshok]

When young, unsorted people get pregnant to live the idea of romance, they have no idea of how the future will work for them. If they have no strong financial, moral, social support, the family can go into loss and bear upon the children all the trauma. Whether a child gets inheritance or not, almost every child inherits trauma.

[@victoriareilly6223]

It was my adopted mom for me. My adopted dad was around but he was more of the chilled and laid back one who didn't deal with the teaching the children. They had 5 kids of their own before I was brought into the family. I felt more affection from my dad then my mom. We used to go on road trips and do things. But whenever it came to my mom n I doing anything it didn't feel genuine

[@dogdonut]

"Mothers who can't love" is also a fantastic book to check out from your library that explains the mother wound and how to heal from it.

[@LinaKareni]

ty i’ll check it out!

[@dogdonut]

@@LinaKareni Great! But be aware that of course it is a heavy read and may take you a long time to get through and digest.

[@42Ccastro]

I'm sad to say that the hispanic community is so many years behind in understanding this. It's unfortunate that they call us "crystal kids" because we are "too sensitive", hopefully one day they can catch up because there is so much benefit in healing from this. I hope you can do a video on emotional incest between parents and children, the hispanic community suffers a lot from this too and don't even realize it.

[@la6136]

All POC cultures are like this because the parents come from extreme hardship in 3rd world countries which traumatizes them and gives them a narcissist parenting style

[@LinaKareni]

I can’t even tell you. Both my parents were this way, went no contact bc nobody in the family believed me.

[@Relax-fx5qp]

This! My mom believes that me saying my dad is an abusive narcissist is just something I saw on the Internet

[@mrblue21974]

Damn Katie...I was in therapy for 2 years and paid damn near $200 per session. My therapist NEVER even touched on this, so I just stopped going. This broke me down...I can only watch in pieces.

[@ericapoe]

Same.. many therapists are not trained in dealing with Narcissism, trauma and toxic family dynamics.

[@lcflngn]

It’s so hard to find a therapist who is a good fit. I’m trying again soon tho, worth the effort I think. I could be wrong of course…

[@candyheartsart]

@@ericapoe Most, especially here in Australia. I had to do a lot of my own therapy online through self help and research. Although randomly, my mother put me through a DBT course as an adult that changed my life. It was only to impress her new supply who is a billionaire. I feel bad for him, but also I'm grateful that finally through all her abuse she did something right. I won't get involved with her anymore I have low level surface contact and I can now manage to see her for short periods of time without being triggered and without expecting that she will change.

[@tatie7604]

Yes. Shrinks say nothing that helps.

[@mrgoodman6620]

Yes it's absolutely disgusting as to how bad the mental health sector is overall. Primary health services, Gp's and hospital Ed's in particular, where they have psych staff, are absolutely deplorable in their conduct toward patient welfare. I've not only been treated like garbage endlessly! myself, and later finding out the incredibly detrimental lies and misrepresentation of key factors that are now permanently on my medical record, I've over heard other poor souls getting railroaded with a wrongful narrative by psych staff. Ive met a few other people with their own mental health problems over the years of seeking help and support, getting to know them and their story. Lack of friends and family support is a common thing with many that seek mental health services, so it is often that people that meet like this support each other by attending appointments as a legally unrejectable attendant. The awful way people are treated, from services when going to appointments as an out patient or centerlink related meetings to collecting meds from a hospital pharmacy, people often don't go if they have to do it alone because they fear the literal abuse they regularly get when there's no witnesses! But it still happens when services know the support person is also in a vulnerable position. One friend i got to know well over the years and being house mates for two of them, i was able to establish with no doubt, that her stated experiences and situation were true! and im talking about a horror story! She needed extreme help and assistance just managing life basics and the proper diagnosis of EACH of the conditions that she suffered as a result of the things she witnessed and suffered her whole life. She had been a patient of a psychiatric hospital for 2 decades and all they documented as her problem, was the lesser form of bipolar????? Just like narcissistic abuse, which can be found in adequate detail in mental health literature all over the world and has been in study long enough for it to be totally unacceptable for practitioners and services not to be well versed on the subject, it seems most conditions are a mystery to an over paid profession that is all about politics and finance, and not at all about people! I wont go further, but i have not been in contact with her for over 6 years now because the mental health commission of Western Australia did something ville!!

[@Andrew-eo5bv]

Emotional volatility when you call out their bad behavior.

[@dogdonut]

And they can NEVER, apparently- be in the wrong, it's somehow always our fault.

[@thecatsays]

My mother. Then she blinds her therapist to believe I'm bad. Literally her therapist told me to my face I am ungrateful and spoiled. I flat said, "When your mother Indian gives, ignores legalities, puts you down then calls it a joke, keeps you locked up away from people, blames you over your near rpist because she likes him more, literally quit doing things with me, etc., then you can open your mouth." Told me to get out. I flipped him off and told him the people that sign off on his license were my professors in college and saw her behavior to me. Apparently she can be hurt when I call her abusive and neglectful but I need to smile at insults. I also told him she screams no pups from me when she made me infertile (huge history of endometriosis and never took me for appointments. My first gyn appointment at 24, found out it is almost impossible due to all the scar tissue).

[@lindac2554]

​@@thecatsays Nothing's impossible for Jesus!

[@lilianamontero2715]

I love how Katie communicates I really appreciate the structure of this video

[@Katimorton]

Aww I am so glad :) xoxo

[@niyiobisanya]

​@@Katimortonlove ur smile too makes me smile so much

[@partymarty6969]

even after no-contact im still working to unlearn these toxic behaviors that I learned from my parents. smh.

[@Datb2]

Same it sucks soooo bad

[@LinaKareni]

Same, I struggle with anger issues 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad still treats me like the crap he is!

[@toniboyer3322]

It was my dad for me...he passed away in 2017 and I still feel like he affects me from all the trauma he put us through. He was extremely abusive and seemed to like it when we were in pain.

[@DayZGirl101]

I can’t even begin to understand a person like that… it breaks my heart to hear that you had to go through such excruciating things with him. 💔 Sending love and support as you and your family continue on your healing journeys 😢🙏🏻

[@ngoma]

Me too , my dad is a narcissist and it’s hell.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My dad is still acting this way. It hurts to the core, he does it deliberately; he is cruel!

[@toniboyer3322]

@@DayZGirl101 thank you for your support, I really do appreciate it

[@toniboyer3322]

I am so sorry for any one else that has had to endure this... 😢...it is awful

[@kasondaleigh]

Excellent video. Question: Why does one sibling develop superpowers, yet another sibling becomes a narcissist and emulates the parents? I seem to be the only person in my family with a heart.

[@surbhi_27]

Same doubt sister 😢 I'm the only one who became empathic but my elder bro who went through trauma, abuse is Enabling my parents also becoming a Narc on his own.

[@nicolette4681]

This is the best video I have seen so far purely because of the balance between the good and bad. It is rare to get positive message when looking at videos about childhood trauma.

[@lilzz-vu5lv]

Thank you for this video! I've been depressed and avoidant for so long, thinking that there was something wrong with me, trying to understand why I didn't want to talk to people most of the time and had fear of being cheated on even in perfect relationships. Studying psychology saved me! It took me some time though, I'm 23 and now it's my goal to become a therapist to help people who struggle with depression and addiction. I love how you mentioned the superpowers to not only make people aware of harmful consequences of their upbringing, but also to know that there are some good things to know about ourselves. Spot on!

[@elizabethlozano1076]

I’m an attachment scholar and an adult child of narcissistic parents. This video was very well done. Thanks for what you do, Kati!

[@SirHatchporch]

These are so helpful. Would love to see you do a video on when you are expected to be the caregiver of a narcissistic parent, which is a miserable situation that many of us adult children of narcissists eventually find ourselves thrown into.

[@dancingriver4360]

Just a reminder to you that as a child you did not have a choice - you had to be around these toxic people but as an adult you have choice, you can choose not to be involved.

[@amberinthemist7912]

Are you in the US? You have a choice. Call adult protective services and walk away.

[@lcflngn]

💯

[@lcflngn]

@@dancingriver4360Easier said than done, but mental dissociation is a wonderful thing.

[@lcflngn]

@@amberinthemist7912Lol, good point, but easier said than done. A lot rides on me taking some care of my mom in her very difficult transition out of independence. I have some responsibilities to the Trust that supports her. Just thanking the greater powers that she has enough $ to not be on the street. Because she would be, in a heartbeat. Still, working on me helps, my husband really helps. My kids are sometimes helpful, but since she recently appalled both of them with her psychically malicious ways, they are not speaking to her, so getting out of the work as well, of course. Nice for them! I do get it though. I left them vulnerable way too much when they were young. Wish I’d known then what I know now. But fortunately she lived a ways away for years. But even phone calls were too much, and I won’t put them through it again. It’s my choice to deal with her directly. We’ll see what happens when the holidays roll around… Anyway, as she’s quite reliant on us, she tends to be much nicer, more grateful, less mean. Still dissociation is my MO. I still stress some, but feel very little psychic damage.

[@bhavnaganiga6272]

Both my parents are narcissistic... I feel so out of touch with my true self.. Can you make a video on how to get better while having an Anxious attachment style?

[@aynilaa]

I have these 'superpowers' and an avoidant attachment style. My parents regard my needs as a burden, are emotionally unavailable and have disappointed me many times. As they're so unreliable, I want to do everything myself.

[@lionheartklaric3729]

This is me my Dad was a narc. Last time I saw him I told him that I had just finished a Masters program at the.number 1 university in the world. His reaction was remember when you got 2% in an exam.when you were a kid. Says it all.

[@-bw1420]

I love knowing that I’m still a good human after so much suffering growing up with a narcissistic mother and marrying a narcissist. It’s good to be reminded of the good qualities I’ve developed over time due to that type of abuse. I keep doing the work to heal and I’m in a much better place mentally and emotionally. Thank you for this video Kati. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not a lost cause.💜

[@shawnjohnson3125]

Wish you the best and hope you continue to heal 🙏 I take care of my wife's nieces and there mother is a narcissist and drug addict/alcoholic who is constantly traumatizing them. She has an abusive bf who hits her in front of the girls and has never been there for them emotionally or any other way,they live with us but when we don't give her money or whatever else she takes them for a couple days n something bad happens almost every time. We've had them for 5 years, they are almost 13 and 12 now and I'm so worried about their future with the terrible things she teaches them and overall a bad influence, they do good in school and are actually really good kids despite their awful childhood and how controlling she is. She won't even let them get a haircut unless she chooses exactly how it's done and even tho I take care of them and support them she wants to call every day n try to dictate what they do and when. Cps won't do anything, she just denies drug testing and even though she's homeless they won't remove custody so not much I can do other than love them and take care of them the best I can but it's heart breaking watching them continue to be traumatized 😢

[@momoso143]

I wish I knew this sooner, because for years I thought I was a bad person because I’d cause so much distress in my first relationship

[@r0zugorudo]

This is by far the most in-depth, helpful video I’ve ever seen explaining how to know if you grew up with narcissistic parents, and the lasting effects of it. And it was explained in a way that was SO easy to understand. Thank you so much for this! I really needed to see this video.

[@lfm3362]

Mine were also physically abusive as well as being narcissistic. I spent my childhood believing children were a burden adults resented being saddled with. Sadly I didn't realize the realities of my situation until much later, and as a result wasted a lot of my own life feeling like the issues I was having were because of my own failures. My now elderly parents live an hour away and I see them once a year, and reluctantly at that. I don't have the energy, nor the desire to "fix" the relationship at this pointnd I've stopped feeling guilty about it.

[@LinaKareni]

honestly idk what’s worst the physical or emotional abuse 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@m.maclellan7147]

Thank you for this video. It DOES help to know that my empathy IS a super power, because I got TORTURED for it as a kid. I'm so strong & I feel good saying that. I have miles to go, but, I am so much further down the rode, wiser & compassionate.

[@Lisa-eo9gd]

I avoid contact with everyone. I get my social needs met by asking a store clerk where an item is or complimenting someone's sweater color, etc. That's it and it is enough. I live alone and my home is quiet and peaceful. No one is there telling me that I should not exist. No one is telling me that I make them sick or suggesting that I just wander out into the forest and die. I have art and music and the beauty of nature. May each person reading this find peace and joy beyond the suffering of the past.

[@amberinthemist7912]

I'm so sorry anyone said those things to you. You deserved better.

[@Lisa-eo9gd]

@@amberinthemist7912 That is very kind of you. Thank you for your reply. I am working on getting beyond the effects of abuse. It is just taking a long time. Best wishes to you!

[@christineewing3492]

I've watched so many KZbin videos about narcissism, and I still don't know if I could spot one. I have complex PTSD. I was neglected as a child, and witnessed a lot of sadistic violence in the so-called "home" I was raised in. My father was a total maniac, but I'm opening up to my therapist about the non-relationship my mother had with me. My mother didn't like me, from day1. An infant can't understand that. I used to blame myself for all of it. "I am unlovable". I'm beginning to heal. I don't know if my mum was a narcissist, but there was something wrong.

[@LinaKareni]

I’m sorry this happened to you too.

[@jsf8145]

How to spot a narcissist (evil)?? 2 Timothy 3 🤏 Galatians 5:22-26👌

[@incorrigiblycuriousD61]

Super power of being passionate advocates for mental health. Excellent point!

[@suzer77539]

Holy cow!!! This is sooo spot on for my mom and how it has affected my life. 😮 I appreciate understanding how I became who I am... it helps me be compassionate with myself. Thank you so much, Kati. ❤

[@going2hawaii]

Thank you!

[@Katimorton]

Of course! Happy to help :) xoxo

[@deedeee6271]

Love the blouse, Kati! And thanks for the valuable info :)

[@nelly_issavibe6151]

I like her ! She got examples encouragement and awareness! I love it we need more wisdom to be broken down like this more often

[@DarkBlueNutrition]

Wow. I thought I “just had” a lot of these traits and that was just “my personality”… but I’m realizing that a lot of what shaped me and my traits as an adult is my relationship with my mom as a kid. Nearly *everything* you mentioned hits home 1000% with the anxious attachment style and “superpowers”. I recently had my first… and this is what led me to click on this video. My moms behavior threw me totally off guard as I saw her be incredibly self absorbed and destructive when I invited her to stay for a week to help with my newborn & spend time with him. I was so confused and surprised at first… but then I got to thinking and her behavior was no different than what I remember in the past. It makes me fear that I’ll end up like her as a parent someday, and that scares the heck out of me. Thank you for bringing this topic to light! I’m curious - Do you have any videos on doing the work when you’ve had a narcissistic parent?

[@circusofsix]

i think that every child of a narcissist has that same fear. the fact that you even have insight means you’ll do better. 😉

[@bellaluce7088]

@@circusofsix @DarkBlueNutrition I agree. I worried about this and time has shown that it was totally untrue. Your superpowers are evidence that you're not like her. Wishing you much joy with your new family! ❤❤

[@shaunhenryengineering]

It's refreshing that you bring balance by shining light on the superpowers we develop while not disregarding the impacts

[@IonTrone]

an instant classic video!

[@DianaIsabel929]

I love the sign posts of superpowers amidst the challenges. It all feels so spot on and adds a lens of hope and optimism to very difficult and painful truths.

[@unionunicorn6776]

Thank you for giving me hope that I can change my attachment style and have an “earned secure attachment style.” I didn’t know that was possible and I need that hope rn. 🥺

[@katharinaben9922]

Thank u for this video and for including the "superpowers" that also come with it. I have never seen any other video including this. I can so relate to everything said and explained in this video. I have been in therapy multiple times, i work in the field myself and kind of basically knew all of the things u said.Yet how u explained it, how u drew the links between the different traits and how this was not all about the negative effects but also positive sides that hit a different nerve. How u ended it on not blaming and on hope ( and how u said it made me actually believe that i can relearn and create a different attachment style) , i love it. Thank u Kati, i really needed this.

[@consciouscollective9356]

LOVE that you pointed out super powers. I did a super power self assessment few months back and turning the pain into super powers was a big turning point in developing self love and respect. Thank you for your work and please do include super powers moving forward!

[@Miss_Lexisaurus]

Thank you for this. I'm realising that I'm Autistic and it's made me question if my mother really was abusive or if she was trying to protect me by controlling me - this video really helped to clarify that it was abusive regardless.

[@alexpeterson9468]

Thank you so much! Now can better understand myself and to start not blaming myself for everything. I'm 55

[@thecatsays]

My mother. She loved telling me what I like when I'd say different. I told her I got a singing coach based on my talent that has had a big career, she just shrugged and said well your cousin can sing as well. I sold all my beadwork, she shrugged and said well I did, too. When I started telling her how she hurt me, it was flipped how I was the bad guy. Apparently being tired of being called a problem, ruining sex life, ruining her body, never introducing me as her daughter, and no compliments because I'd get an ego. I wasn't ignored when my parents were fighting with who they liked. Heck, my birthdays were forgotten or being forced with family while no one would say anything to me. They'd eat the cake but never say anything. My mother would promise me something or write out and notorize it just to Indian give it to a friend. She literally broke our uncle's will for friends. In fact, her therapist calls me the bad guy despite I literally sat down and showed him proof of why I don't trust her. I flat told him who makes a 12 year old literally go to work constantly and school. And I don't mean house chores. I had an actual job with paychecks because I had no choice. My husband and I fight because he wasn't raised by a narcissistic parent. He doesn't understand I didn't learn how to control my emotions or not have issues. It hurts when he invalidates all of that as well. Like it isn't something you just let go.

[@peachmuffin143]

Thank you for giving me some clarity Katie ❤ this video helped me understand myself a bit more. I fear I will never recover from my mother’s abuse but you gave me a bit of comfort.

[@AtomicSonicHalos]

Great of you to add the Positive, Empowering side to all this too! Thank you!

[@LesleySASMR]

I am absolutely struggling with dating because of this. I feel like I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel! I have a disorganized attachment and really want to do the work.

[@AnnaGrace603]

You are so cute and lovely Katie. Thanks for all you do for your clients and us ❤

[@jonathanuniverse9302]

Thanks for another great video. I love how you include some positive news in there!

[@jenny-177]

Kati, your videos are unbelievably helpful and validating. Thank you!!

[@Katimorton]

You are so welcome!

[@NelsonBurtonIV]

Thank you for sharing this with all of us! I couldn’t agree more with everything you said and it’s so refreshing knowing there’s a community of people out there that can relate. Narcissistic abuse survivors are warriors and we should be proud of not only what we’ve overcome but how we’ll continue to grow and become the best versions of ourselves as we do the work day in and day out!!🙏🏽💪🏽👏🏽

[@tetti-do]

For the person who was diagnosed with disorganised type "mix type" it’s very frightening to know such information, but at the same time it’s explains almost everything. I’m very glad knowing that you can still change your attachment style to secure(healthy )one. Thank you for the video 😊

[@annelewis6236]

Unfortunately we still have a relationship with narcissistic after they die. Self talk etc .

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Having to apologize to others for things I never did to cause the problem. I have been called on it and do it less often(if at all) and have to censor myself for doing so). I am not to blame for other's behvaviors/actions. Especially when I had no knowledge of the actions; the perpetrators were never scolded in my presence. They get away with it all the time. The abuser is the problem. I get blamed no matter who does the action that causes the trouble. I am fed up with being the victim!

[@nightfangs2910]

Alex story pretty well sums up my life with my farther 😔😔

[@anonymousanonymous5046]

Hi, I find online communities really help too, and videos like this. I am grateful for kati morton's videos, and others, like Jerry Wise, who have shared information about parenting with narcissistic traits. I am an only child, and a lot of people I know irl, even close friends and family, don't really get it. Thanks, Kati.

[@s.bibula7585]

I appreciate that you didn't directly say that bull about trauma making you stronger, but I don't particularly enjoy my "superpowers". I find that they're a constant reminder of what I grew up with.

[@RubtRubtish]

My adult sister just stoled 500 dollars from the purse that I hide inside my backpack from under my bed. My parents didn’t care that she was. It was the birthday money that my relatives give to me for my birthday. My adult sister will wait till it’s march or April to steal my money after three months after my birthday.

[@camellia8625]

That’s horrible. Are you old enough to have a bank account of your own?

[@RubtRubtish]

@@camellia8625I did try to confront to my adult sister but she kept lying and smiling, laughing about it when I told her my money is disappearing then she’ll lie that her money disappears too, she made excuses like she wasn’t in the house.

[@americasariesson1862]

🤚🏼 Disorganized- This was very helpful! …And I can say with certainty those SP are also part of me. That’s something else.

[@Nitsirk7131]

It is very encouraging to hear that attachment style can change.

[@dogethegreat4210]

Thank you Kati, this is one of the best videos you’ve made 💜

[@LinaKareni]

yeah I definitely need to do the work. It’s affecting my marriage too much 😢. I don’t want to lose my spouse.

[@MattSofianosGuitar]

Kati, you really are a force for good and sharing these clinical observations and insights changes the world. I started doing some serious work on this in my early 30s having found myself in an avoidant cul-de-sac. 20 years later I’m in a healthy marriage with a wonderful relationship with my daughter.

[@gmze.b]

That's why I'm so good at understanding people. Because I didn't have any other choice. I wish I recognized this years ago. I would have studied at psychology which is my biggest passion right now. Thank you. 🙏

[@charthers8903]

This was absolutely amazing! Pls do more videos like this ❤

[@jchavantes]

Thank you for this. Now I know my attachment style. Didn't have the knowledge that was like a mixture of both anxious and avoidant. And thank you for putting flaws and good traits interleaved. I cried throughout, but could think about how I'm not a total failure at perceiving others' feelings and thoughts.

[@leesanderson6885]

My little nephew aged five is now a victim.of a Narcissist step father .who has isolated him from me his grandma and all of his community. His daddy died my brother two yrs ago. His mummy sees the love we share and does nothing to bring us together. Recent family who did get an invite witnessed cruel authoritarian style parenting...he isn't allowed to sulk. He did tell me voluntarily last time I saw him.that "he doesn't like Haley" nickname if step father. It's agony being discarded from his life.

[@tatie7604]

THANK YOU FOR GETTING RIGHT TO THE SUBJECT. JUST KEEP GOING. DONT waste time EXPLAINING WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO OR TALK ABOUT. WE HAVE A TITLE. JUST KEEP GOING.

[@CoconutWaterfalls]

i feel like i just found gold. thank you.

[@yeonalyly4501]

Thank you so much it’s so helpful you can’t imagine

[@mrgoodman6620]

Ive managed to workout a hell of alot, as to exactly what narc inputs caused the various nuances of what resulted in ME! It's an extremely difficult process to go through because the horrible feelings that flood through you when you realize the truth and reasons for things, its all the pain and sadness that you suffered back then, and more because added to that is the true horror that the hell was deliberate and being who it was done by is the worst feeling of breach of trust you can imagine. Then when it becomes obvious to you and things start to fall into place about the past, you then feel like an absolute idiot! and then comes the feelings of embarrassment and total humiliation.... I think its at this point where we "lose people" because its so bad nothing can explain it, and the automatic response is to conclude in that moment, that... you thought it couldn't get any worse but it just did with hell coming back to haunt you and it brought more demons! So life isnt worth suffering any longer. Im doing it alone and gees, its only by the narrowest of bare margins that im still here, and that saddens me because the power of understanding and a sence of vindication that comes is worth it, in that it begins to help start regulating the emotional torment of old and new. I have not however worked out my problem with attachment style, and ive decided im going to leave bloody well alone! Because working other things out HURT! So im taking a different approach to this problem. And i know theres a problem because I noticed the pattern, well ahead of fully educating myself on narcissism. Its in part the reason im alone, because i put the brakes on socializing pending a meaningful adjustment to myself. I have enough experience, examples and now knowledge, about them to correct the screw-ups, so i dont feel the need to understand how i got screwed up! The thing is now im a mess of all manner of repellent... like a jaded grumpy old man that grows all-around unpleasant, and shoots first then yells "Get off my lawn!" So i have a $h!t load of work to do to make me good enough for the type of person im going to be particular about. Ive become very patient from the crap ive been trough but im seeing time is not a friend either.

[@ShaneBlackheart]

Both of my parents fit these, and the first two scenarios described my dad and my mom. I've accidentally ruined so many relationships just from finding my voice and communicating about what happened. I wrote first and didn't clarify enough, leading to several friends thinking I was talking about them and they left me, when I hadn't been talking about them at all. I've suffered so much just from speaking up, called an attention seeker and generally have lost followers on social media or more friends. I've become so self-conscious I'm terrified to express anything, or vent anywhere but my blog no one reads. This has made things worse from what I already dealt with from growing up with narcissistic parents. I feel like my life is ruined. I'm so lonely and I don't make friends anymore because every time I try, my emotions go flat and I want to run away. I've tried DBT, been in therapy since I was about 10, been to the hospital three times, and tried so many medications. Nothing works. The superpowers I'm supposed to have only got me in trouble.

[@sandyish227]

My relationship with both parents were like that I didn't like it and tried my best to be the opposite of their traits but only after years after I went out of my own

[@candyheartsart]

Thank you, this really resonated with me, even though I've done so much work and research on this, I really enjoyed hearing this from someone who has been through it too. Mother daughter relationships are so important and when you don't get that proper relationship, it effects you in so many ways.

[@sara_36511]

Woah I think if you take away the "hollywoodness" of narcissits I realized that my Dad is one. He would not let me die but he does put himself first and has been cases where i have been in need of help and him thinking that i am faking it. The only picture that he is smiling is the one with friends. I am super empathetic and love self growth so i check all the boxes.

[@sudoku47]

Dear Miss Kati Morton, I thank God for the existence of your channel on KZbin. As one of the sons of an inordinately narcissistic mother, I can't help pointing out that in today's world most people (at least in a typical modern & developed society) realise that it's simply moronic & incredibly naïve to presume that ALL policemen/women must be law-abiding individuals, as there are now verified reports & documented cases of police officers abusing their legally endowed power for illegal or immoral ends. Then, why don't/can't people apply the same wisdom to parenting? Just think of the shocking & horrendous Austrian case of incest that came to light in 2008 where an evil father Josef Fritzl imprisoned his own daughter Elisabeth in a cellar for years and compelled her to gratify the selfish desires of his body! I truly deserve to be called an idiot and a monster if I request Elisabeth to celebrate Father’s Day or if I suspect that hers is only an isolated case! Is a person who dares to assume that parental maltreatment of children never (or rarely) occurred in all human history less insane than someone who proclaims that no firefighter has ever committed arson in all human history?

[@jenna6600]

Yep. Unfortunately.

[@shradhanayak2829]

Thank you for this! ❤️🦋✨

[@joanagoncalo3935]

Thank you so much for this is information, really helpful, and yes, more ❤❤❤

[@Katimorton]

More to come!

[@ericakane6388]

This was amazing! It helps me in my own healing journey and let’s me know that I’m not crazy about my experience with my mother

[@nuraenihidayat865]

I Like they you u say "not saying your pain and wounds are good things, I'm saying that you are a good thing." I cries heard it. Its seem like i can my life as a bright side as child from narcistic mother. Thank you Kati. Your Video means a lot

[@kylapollard9275]

I love how easy your videos are to understand. Thank you! I have disorganised attachment and only moved out of the family home 2wks ago. My parents haven’t been in contact much and it’s highly up to me to be in contact. I know if I don’t I will be the bad (adult) child. Going through therapy, and still currently, I’ve realised I’ve known the abuse has been happening all my life through various relationships and I’ve known it all along I just didn’t know it and just how much different it was to others childhoods/adolescents/adulthoods with parents. It is a powerful thing to know your attachment style in order to heal from this. And we certainly do have superpowers, as exhausting as they can be they can be super helpful.

[@emilymschoener9193]

The worst is a couple who each come from a narcissistic parent but who have opposite attachment styles.

[@junkettarp8942]

Thanks Kati.

[@ISquishWorms]

Wow I am 30 seconds in and can already relate to what you are saying about attachment styles. I would really like to hear more detail about attachment styles and how to start working towards a healthy one. I am so tired of pulling others in and then pushing them away when I start to panic or have trust issues.

[@shaunhenryengineering]

I am so grateful to have found your content. Between your content and your books and currently reading The Body Keeps The Score, i have learned so much.

[@Katimorton]

Wow, thank you! I appreciate you saying so :) Hope you're week is off to a great start!

[@brittanywilcox7377]

This video is great Kati! My mom embodies everything you talked about, but she also goes through periods of extreme paranoia. She will readily tell you she doesn't trust anyone, and she thoroughly believes in some pretty insane conspiracies. She has no self awareness and does not understand how her behavior impacts others. She's extremely fearful, and everything she says comes from a place of fear. She'll never get diagnosed, but i think if she did, she may qualify for paranoid personality disorder. I would love a video about this, as i don't think I've ever seen one!

[@elizabethiradukunda1950]

In my experience, it's narcissists who are quick to call others narcissists🤦‍♀🤦‍♀

[@gaberodriguez9277]

Thanks Katie! Would it be possible to do a video on “victim narcissism” specifically? My dad has some signs of NPD but definitely sounds more like a VICTIM NARCISSIST. I’d love to hear your opinions on this topic. I’m turning to you first since you’ve already been such a huge help already. Thanks for all your content! ❤❤❤ I appreciate you so much!

[@joelheath2746]

You're saying that we survived some horrible things and became stronger!

[@eroberto]

This is great and love that you included the superpowers. That was really validating. Can you create more content on narcissistic parents?

[@anicholeRL9861]

I want to know more on the secure attachment- the last point you made.

[@reneeMajor856]

Narcissistic personality disorder and toxic traits are in my family, I am breaking the chain for my future children. I refuse to put my children through my pain

[@ariwl1]

I've long thought one of my parents might be a bit narcissistic but didn't really want to embrace the idea because they've never been evaluated as such and I didn't want to just throw the word around. Flash forward to the end of the video and I recognize a lot of the disfunctional attachment styles and the superpowers in both me and my sibling.

[@ButterflyAmbienceVideos]

Why do I attract schizophrenic/Tourette’s strangers that cross my boundaries it’s so scary I’m fed up I’m only in my 20s. I don’t think they’re as rare as we thought.

[@crazydad6119]

How to get over having confidence level tied to income? When laid off severe depression happens

[@americasariesson1862]

I feel self conscious around having all these emotional “ gifts” - guys aren’t supposed to be like that. Thanks Mom and every other female I blindly chose who were 💯 like this😑. Thank you Katie for helping me navigate and accept the reality of it all.

[@dazedhavoc]

My mother is all this and more.

[@tayaosman2646]

Thank you so much! I'm going through my journey of heainling, and the 4 super powers boosted my energy in a very warm way! I believe I have all 4 powers! And hopefully I'll make it to the other side sooner or later.

[@DwyaneWadeCounty]

I no longer dream about my narcissistic mother or grandmother. Instead, it seems like my subconscious now uses dream symbols to represent my mother and grandmother. Does anyone else have this?

[@fifteenbyfive]

I'm always interested in more content. Whatever you choose whenever it's time, I will appreciate. Thanks for all your efforts.

[@Saraflowerk]

I like that you list the positives too! :D

[@donatodiniccolodibettobardi842]

I grew up... asexual and I dunno, demiromantic? I can't really tell what kind of attachment style I have, because I only fell in love once. Without attraction, dating kinda seems pointless, and I've never gotten to the point of starting to feel romantic attraction to my close friends. So, I dunno. I think I got two parents and one "parent" that are mix of all these awful things, and two of them are also loving and helpful, who taught me a lot. Avoidant, neglectful, parentifying me, leaving me alone for long periods of time, not teaching me to deal with complex emotions and trauma, routinely crossing my boundaries, using me as anchor, a listener, a confidant, a therapist... Being unavailable, unpredictable, absent, avoidant... And the third one is your classic abuser with belting, mood swings and sudden switches from fun and jokes to physical violence. It took me years to release that anger... I am not sure, what kind of attachment style I have, when it comes to my friends. I've been anxiously attached in the past, but people ditched me quick and hard for that. I think even managed to get a bit better not come across as too needy. At the same time I feel like there's three people in my life, who if they disappear tomorrow will cause me collapse and fall apart immediately. I am not fully alone, while I know they are there... but I am still lacking in something. I am not exactly sure it's romantic though. Just a person to hug me long evenings would be nice. To save me from staring into the screen long hours to motivate me clean my apartment by their mere presence. To go for a walk with. People have suggested a pet, and I am warming up to the idea, but Honest Ads show on KZbin and my own experience with pets when I was little makes me loathe the power imbalance involved with "owning" a creature, that is basically a family member and having all that... responsibility. I can barely take care of myself...

[@R0M4N313]

This, so much this. Ya hit the bulls eye

[@melissarey2973]

Well, this is probably going to be a triggering video...

[@notme-fy7xe]

It was. I got triggered, journaled, broke down, shut down n yh