KIDS Roasting Their PARENTS !! | 30+ TOP FUNNY Roasts | Alonzo Lerone

It's KIDS Vs ADULTS lol . this is the Funniest!!
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Welcome to the official KZbin channel of comedian/entertainer Alonzo Lerone. Looking for comedy, or just a good laugh? You’re in luck! On this channel, you’ll find a variety of fail compilations showcasing the internet’s funniest and dumbest fails curated by Alonzo Lerone from Twitter, Facebook, advertisements, and much more.
Source: DrivePedia, Twitter, BoredPanda

[@eijirokirishima9539]

When I was 7 my mum was marrying my stepfather. I had never seen my mom in makeup as she'd never worn it in front of me. I was the flower girl, so I was supposed walk down the aisle on the wedding and lay out the flowers. But when my mum walked down afterwards I ran out of the church screaming and crying, grandma Came out to see what's wrong and my response was "that's not my mommy! My mommy is uglier than that!". My mum still brings it up, I reuined my mom's wedding lol

[@potatopancake9138]

That is amazing. It sounds like something one of my kids would do. Is your mom a good sport about it?

[@eijirokirishima9539]

@@potatopancake9138 yeah she's pretty alright about it. She had the shits with me about for about a month at first tho lol. My step dad found it hilarious and still does.

[@M.T.S.1981]

I was exercising on a stationary bike and my 3 year old cousin ask me what was the bike for and i said to lose weight. She went down the hall and i got off the bike. She came back and told me i need to get back on that thing because i didnt lose any weight lol. She is too much. Then my niece told me i was bald headed because i wear wigs. I ask her how she came up with that and she said because her grandma head is bald and she wear wigs lol. These kids are something else.

[@eijirokirishima9539]

@@M.T.S.1981 kids are savage XD

[@M.T.S.1981]

@@eijirokirishima9539 yes they are.

[@randijohnson3806]

The other day my 8 year old daughter implied I was Santa. I said "Are you implying I'm old and fat?" Without hesitation she said "I'm not saying you are and I'm not saying you're not. 😅🙈

[@cassieavril]

Mine asked me what I did in the war times 🤦‍♀️ I got called my sons grandma by his teacher once. I was 28!

[@B3LiiZ32]

Oooooooooh 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@CatrionaCharles]

Such diplomacy 😅

[@louisianaarieschickintenne1427]

I was a substitute teacher back in the day (2009), & I had a Kindergarten class..I put this 1 little boy in the corner because he kept interrupting the class..When I allowed him to sit down, he told another boy @ his table "That's y God made her short because she's mean" 🤣🤣😂😂

[@thatgirleonna4200]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@briannajanssen6121]

I worked at a preschool when I was 19. I was sitting on the floor in a circle with the kids. There was a little girl sitting on my lap and she asked me how old I was. I told her. Then I asked her, “That’s pretty old, isn’t it?” So she looked right at me and said, “Yeah, and then you’ll die.” I’m 32 years old. I still look back at that and laugh. Kids have no filter. They will say whatever is on their mind. I love them so much! 😂❤

[@rockysolmon1]

When my youngest niece was around 4 we were watching a documentary about fat people loosing weight. She then said "It is not nice to tell someone they are fat. But if someone says they are fat is it ok to say I know I've been thinking about it all day?" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@leahwalker9151]

MENACE TO SOCIETY LMAO

[@alexisringler160]

Im a childcare worker and I have some pretty funny instances #1. My hair had previously been colored blue and was fading to a green/gray color and a child informed me that "you have gray hair like my mom" #2 A child asked if she could tell me something to which I said " of course honey, anything" and she without missing a beat, straight faced said "most days you're really pretty...but not today"

[@kyleneb2]

When my son was in Headstart, he would tell kids on the bus. "I will get my momma to sit on you, if you don't leave me alone". For the longest time the teacher though I was a really big woman. Until I went to the parent teacher conference and she seen I was just pregnant. Her and the helper started laughing so hard.

[@ayannahawkins2194]

Bruh🤣🤣🤣

[@thatgirleonna4200]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@melaniereynders]

The Joaquin pronounciation has me dying over here 😂

[@Rachiesx3]

This comment needs to be higher!

[@iamaloser666]

AND MUR EE DUH

[@bubblymama]

He really should do a video of his own fails. I'd be 💀 🤣

[@ashleyarebalos3741]

He is best known for his acting but I think he sings too idk. Lol.

[@joey6139]

My nana (dads mom) always tells me this story of me when I was like 3 or 4. She was in her kitchen. I apparently walked up her outta nowhere and asked her if I could ask her a question. She said sure. I leaned in and said, “Nana, are you some sort of grandma? Cause you look like a grandma.” She was probably around 50-55 at the time. 😂😂😂

[@ymjb87]

When my son was in kindergarten they had an assignment in class where they were asked questions about their moms. My son answers were all sweet until they asked him what food I cooked the best, this lil terd said "top ramen". His teachers gifted me a recipe book. Hahaha I laughed so hard because I can cook, he just loves that damn soup. So when I allowed him to eat it he thought it was the best thing in the world haha.

[@TheCRYSTALLURE]

I was thrown at “this lil turd” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@fairynerdy]

My grandfather, who passed in 2021, had a favorite story about me. When I was about 3 or 4, I was at my grandparents' house and he was taking a shower. I asked my grandma what he was doing and she said he was singing in the shower. To which I replied, "He's not singing, he's just making noise." Apparently, I ended his musical career with that statement. He would tell that story ALL THE TIME.

[@lorenehughes]

When I was working in childcare there was a 4year old that came up to me, gently put his hands on my stomach and said "your tummy is much smaller today, well done!" I was horrified and almost split myself laughing at the same time!

[@PatienceAnderson1989]

The way he is saying Merida is sending me 😂 😂 😂 dead af 😂😂😂

[@shelbylucero3460]

And Joaquin 😂😂

[@starknight1244]

Same 😂😂😂😂

[@mrscatlady912]

Like 'Merica

[@justinlaw8511]

Further proof that Brave is severely underrated 😢

[@mwoody7881]

@@mrscatlady912 lmfao 🤣

[@QueenLoraTV]

When my oldest son was in kindergarten, they had a parents eat lunch with the kids day. So I, being on maternity leave at the time, went to have lunch with him. We were having a great time sittin with his class and a bunch of other parent's, when he stood up and proceeded to yell, "MY MAMA IS SO LAZY SHE STAYS HOME AND DON'T DO NOTHIN, BUT EAT AND FART !" I was 8 and 1/2 months pregnant... emotional, hungry (apparently gassy) and very embarassed. That boy does not know how to just be quiet, this is only 1 of a million thing's he has done to me lol. He'll be 19 in 2 days and is still this way LOL!!!

[@illumahealy]

I like to tease my 7 year old sister by telling her she’s adopted. One day she clapped back and said “are you sure you’re not adopted bc you don’t know who your daddy is?” We have different dads…

[@2010josilyn]

My niece (5 at the time) once told me that she needed to tell me a secret. So she whispered “Do you know my dad?” I said “yea”. Then she leaned back in and whispered “He’s a fat ginger”. Then walked away like nothing happened!!

[@hollybascombe1448]

When my daughter got mad at me recently she glared at me and said in a cold tone "No wonder no man will ever love you, you're mean."

[@amethyst5538]

Daaaayyyum

[@GeeCaponeex]

Lmfao 😭😭

[@shilahrodrigue]

When I was little, I would sit and watch my grandma cut hair in her barber shop. One day when I was six, she was cutting an old man’s hair. While they were talking, I noticed he had very yellow teeth so out of nowhere I asked him, “Why are your teeth so yellow?” My grandma was mortified and told me, “You don’t say that to people!” He laughed and said it was because he smoked all of his life.

[@A_Rose_From_Concrete]

I think it was back in 2016 me and my mom went to the shop and got short hairstyles. My then 4 year old niece looked at me and said "Granny's hair is pretty but your hair is ugly... and you're fat." I have never felt so disrespected in my life 🥲🤦🏽‍♀️😂😂

[@718_YEOW]

AND you’re fat?! She ain’t need to be THAT rude 😂😂

[@chelseyevans7427]

Some time in the mid 90s, my mom was walking down the street to church one Sunday. She had on a suit jacket with a skirt, and on the way there she saw a little girl playing in her front yard. The little girl then proceeds to tell her, “Oh wow you look so pretty, you looking like a hoochie mama!” Made my mama rethink her whole outfit

[@TheJusHeather]

Not so much a roast, but definitely a “well damn” moment. I have a little collection of Funko Pops (bc I’m an adult lol). My nephew Spencer, who was about four at the time, was looking at them all and pointed to one of the character Sadness from the Disney film Inside Out and said quite confidently … “Aunt Shell, that’s you!”

[@DinoDuck94]

When I was about 8 my mom was trying on some new underwear and I walked in and said "Ya know. Your not too fat. You half skinny momma!" Lmao 🤣

[@louisex5954]

My son told me “mum your not fat, just a little bit fat” lol

[@sophialane3175]

My 4 year old cousin: why does that guy have the same hairline as the dad fish in Dory? Me watching this... Oh boy

[@Samantha517]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@daniellemartin1677]

I’m a Pre-K teacher. It was outside time and we had this big plastic playhouse that the kids LOVED to play McDonalds in. One of the girls asked me to go through the drive thru which I did, asked me what I wanted to have to eat. I said, “I’d like a sprite and a cheeseburger with a small fry please.” She looked me dead in the face and said, “uhm no. You’re going to have a salad.” Okay then.. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@8bitfae]

omg the clown one. It reminded me when I was a kid, like 9 yrs old, my dad took my sister and me to a diner for lunch. While we there, a group of teenagers came in all dressed in the same uniform and wearing heavy makeup. Out loud, with them right next to us, I asked my dad, "Daddy, why do they look like clowns?" He was so embarrassed and had me shut up so fast after! I now know they were the dance team for their high school

[@baybeetricia]

The barber ain't your friend 🤣🤣🤣

[@angelinajacobs4438]

One time when my son was maybe 5 he asked if I was guna put make-up on and I said why am I ugly without make-up? And he said no but you look better with it! My heart broke that day after I died laughing 🤣☠️

[@malayahadessdottir9630]

My nephew (10) told his mom (40s)she has more forehead lines then nana(70)😂 my sister said “that’s it I’m getting Botox”😂😂

[@incrediblekreations7192]

a couple years ago my daughters had a debate about chores. when asked could they switch my daughter told my other daughter "you need to be on first48 cause that shit dead"....😂😂🤣

[@ritafaye6499]

Alonzo looking like he’s gonna come pimp your ride! 😂

[@michelle360kpop]

Girl stop 💀

[@Rahlissa_Golden]

This comment has me 💀🤣🤣

[@michelle360kpop]

@@Rahlissa_Golden I hollered!

[@Rahlissa_Golden]

@@michelle360kpop 🤣🤣🤣 Like xzibit is that you ?

[@michelle360kpop]

@@Rahlissa_Golden stop!! 💀😂

[@melissagormady3714]

Back in 2012, I took my daughter shopping for a Halloween costume. As we were done with her costume pick, she wanted to pick out my costume. Low and behold, she chose a cow costume. I told her no, it's not for me. I asked her why would you pick out a cow costume for mommy. She said so I can milk you. I died a thousand deaths in the store but ended up laughing about it.

[@amethyst5538]

😂😂😂😂

[@Funnylookingpotato]

my niece is six years old and sometimes she'll smack my arm and say it's jiggly. she's not wrong, but damn she doesn't need to point it out. 😂

[@Lil_Rhenn]

A few years my niece came into the kitchen and asked, “Aunt Riah, are you blind because you’re evil?” (I actually am legally blind)

[@daniellegonzales4223]

I was dropping my then 4 yr old daughter off at preschool. Trying to hand her her backpack at her classroom. Told her she was the one going to school, not me. In front of her teacher, my spawn said "why not? You sure you don't need to?" Then skipped with her backpack inside 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@kimberlycampbell8355]

When I was 8 1/2 months pregnant I walked to get my kids from school and a little boy yelled out of the bus, "Hey free Willy"! I went home and cried.

[@Carpathianpixie]

Aww 🥺

[@tamiruiz2766]

I was once eating a pretzel at the mall while waiting for a friend and a little girl came up and asked if she could have my pretzel (not a bite but the whole thing). I told her no and she shouldn’t ask strangers for their food. She said it looked like I’d eaten enough so she should have the rest… Her mom finally found her right as she said that and looked mortified

[@medicatedmenorah]

You calling Joaquin Phoenix “Jay-kwan” had me rollin 😂 (It’s pronounced “wah-keen”)

[@YFNEccentric]

When I was about to be a freshman in high school, my family and I went to a local ice cream place. While we were waiting to order, this little girl came up to my dad and asked if he's ever been to prison -- just because of the tats on his arms.

[@DasSpaceAce]

Joaquin is pronounced wah-keen. Joaquin Phoenix is an actor. He was the emperor in Gladiator. Also, Merida (Mehr-eh-dah) is the princess from the Disney film Brave - red headed Scottish girl.

[@blueshepard7]

To simplify it, Joaquin/Joaquín it's pronounced: Hoe-ag-kin (this is the closet I could come up with, my native language is Spanish, that's how I know)

[@kbramlett6877]

Don't forget that when Johnny Cash saw Joaquin in Gladiator, he stated that is the guy I want to portray me in Walk The Line.

[@DasSpaceAce]

@@kbramlett6877 He's done a lot of good films, I just went the most well known & most likely that Alonzo would have seen clips from, if not the whole film.

[@elizabethsmith3374]

I got called old at 18 on my 18th birthday by a four-year-old. Eight years later and I still think about and laugh

[@yelljal2764]

A while ago I was buying some pride flags online for a friend of mine and my little cousin came up to me and asked what I was looking at. I told her and she seemed interested so we looked at the different types of flags they sold, explaining what each one meant. So we continue this until we get to the aromantic flag. I told her that it was for people who don't like other people in a dating type of way (dumbing it down a little for a better understanding). She took it in for a few seconds, looked me dead in the eye and went "so like you?". (Note I am not aromatic, I am just not interested in dating right now). So my seven year old cousin basically told me that I dont have a love life right to my face.

[@mikip282]

i’m offended for you 😭

[@yelljal2764]

@@mikip282 Seriously. God kids can be brutal.

[@bitemeandfindout]

I had just given birth to my daughter and I was pushing her in a stroller through our neighborhood. I'd put on a lot of weight during my pregnancy because it was a difficult time for me. But I was feeling good, happy. I loved my baby and was proud to show her off. Then this kid passed by with his mom who stopped to look at my daughter. The kid looked at me and asked, "When are you having the other one?" I died. It's funny in hindsight. Kids have NO filters LOL

[@andrew6061]

To be extremely honest the hair cut/braids doesn't look bad at all

[@deanderthal]

This video makes me think we need one of you just trying to pronounce a bunch of names you’ve never seen before (both people and places). I love the way you react to new names lol

[@tahlialeach373]

My daughter was 4 at the time when I was pregnant with my son. When I was about 7 months gone she used to walk behind me laughing saying " mummy you walk like a fat penguin" and then proceeded to walk away like a penguin wise laughing.. 🤣

[@TheCRYSTALLURE]

Lmaooo I remember as a kid I had asked my play-grandpa (may he rest in peace he passed this year) why he had a driveway on his head…everybody was like what is she talking about. And then 💡💡bc he was going bald he had had that missing center area of hair 😅 ahh the good times.

[@claireadkins713]

One of the little boys that I babysit, graduated from his 3yr old preschool class. He asked me the following day why TyTy wasn't there. Ty is my husband who he absolutely adores. I said buddy TyTy had to work. He said well that's ok. He couldn't fit in the door of my class anyway.

[@mancbird27]

When my daughter was about 4 or 5 she was watching me get ready to go out and said "Do you go out at night time so no one can see your face?" 😂

[@ariel-danielle]

When I was 5 I asked my step dad how old he was and he told me to guess and I confidently said I think you were around when the dinosaurs were alive🤣

[@khaotictrash]

You pronounced my queen Merida’s name wrong but imma let it slide 😂 She’s the Scottish princess from Brave, she’s got curly red hair

[@sarah78119]

At the grocery store with my then 3 year old and thought it was fun to tell every single person we saw, * Mommy got her 'lectricity* cut off! He has a huge smile too! Like it was a fun adventure for us ...

[@TheNovelistDario]

The funniest roast I ever received was random from my nephew. I came into my brother’s house and greeted everyone. My nephew then turned to me and asked, “Uncle, why do you always dress like an anime character?” I responded, “What you mean?” He said, “You always wear the same clothes like an anime character. Same shorts. Same shirt.” I could tilt my head and laugh.

[@DunpeilDueliest69]

LOL! Hey Alonzo Lerone mate, it's awesome to see you again, Speaking of Kids roasting me I have a funny story to share. This happened Last month about three weeks ago, I was at the Local gaming shop looking at video games while this Dad and his son was about 4-6 years old who were at the cash register waiting to get a Nintendo Switch, the Son looks at me and points at me saying to His Dad 'Daddy look, that ladies got a big belly' and the Dad was so shocked at this he said this to his Son 'Hey, that's not nice, that was not a very nice thing to say to a lady, Daddy has got a belly too and you got to like ladies on the inside not what's on the outside, she could be a very nice lady, do you understand?' And I was like in the back of my mind, 'You go Dad.' 😊 😊

[@CadMade95]

In regards to children getting freaked out over a beard getting removed; children (especially toddlers) haven't developed the capability to process change. So when dad just puts his face in their child's face, it scares them🤷🏽‍♂️

[@amethyst5538]

I remember when my Daddy first shaved his beard. He had had one my entire life till I was 4. It took a week for me to process he wasn't a stranger. I wouldn't sleep at night convinced my Mama was trying to introduce a "new daddy," to us. I cried everytime he came home from work till his boss came over one night and was asking for "Billy." Than I was convinced after 5 days of terror.😂😭

[@Astarionsfavoritejuicebox]

My kid told me my belly was like a pillow never been so offended but accepting in my life 🤣

[@aprildischinger2116]

The daughter of a friend of ours who also has autism is brutally honest with people. She was a teen at the time and told my fiancee "you got old and big!" She remembered him from before when he was younger and thinner lol. Not long after that, my daughter grabs my arm and puts her head against it and says "I like your arms, they're so soft and squishy!" I've been trying to tone up my arms ever since! 😂😂

[@arlenwoodshany7688]

My stepdaughter told me her mom look like miss trunchbull from Matilda....I told her that wasn't nice. Then I met her....they look very alike, she is just a blonde version....and yes, she also has the attitude and she's a teacher. Also, this same child asked me when was I going to grow because she is 6 and almost at my height....I am 1,49m and 25 years old

[@kathylivedinthe80s14]

2 years ago my then 4 year old grandson getting ready to eat some of my birthday cake asked me are you 5 lumps old. I’ve never felt a statement more true in my life.😂

[@nebelungpixie9373]

We were out grocery shopping circa 1970s. My sister (approx 4 yrs old), said LOUDLY to our mama: "Mama, why does that lady have two booties (and she did not mean socks) ?!!?!" ... and POINTS. Mama (shoving groceries as hard and fast as she can into the trunk): "GET IN THE CAR GET IN THE CAR GET IN THE CAAAAAAR !!!"

[@loramassegee2463]

When I was a kid (4) I was at an event (animal show) where my mom was competing in. I had some toy blocks made of 2X4s. A teen started picking on me, so I went to tell my mom. She told me to “take one of the 2X4s and go hit him” so, I left and, the next minute my mom turned and saw me chasing and catching up the teen. Mom was having to run and jump over event cages to get to me before I hit the boy with the 2X4. Later, when we got home she handed me a baseball bat, and said “here, you can take this to the shows to run the boys off” my immediate response was “Oh! Thank you mama!”

[@crazycatlovermeow7373]

"It looks like a minion" had me💀💀💀

[@JadaLowee]

When I was really young I was extremely attached to my mom, one night she decided to go out, she did her makeup and took down her hair, when she tried to pick me up I was staring at her for a good minute without moving and then all of a sudden started to scream while looking her dead in her face asking what she did with my mommy. (it was the first time I had ever seen my mom dressed up)

[@lilsqueak1469]

My son (I don’t remember his age at the time)thought I was older than his dad. No. His dad is 8 years older than me. Said I was 30 something (35?) when I was still in my 20’s. He’s told me before I’m not very good at cooking pancakes, he wasn’t lying. I wasn’t but learned because those are his favorite. A wholesome conversation when he was 4: he was telling me that he picked me from heaven because he thought I was beautiful and knew I would take good care of him. God then put him in a tunnel and he was in my belly. Side note: we aren’t religious, weren’t then either. Very few conversations of religion at this time. So I feel like their was something about what he said.

[@carolynmccord2399]

My son's friend just asked me if I was his grandmother and then asked if my dad was his dad. I'm going to be 36 tomorrow 😭

[@intodaysepisode...]

Kids are CRUCIAL!! 🤣🤣

[@carolynmccord2399]

@@intodaysepisode... ya

[@carolynmccord2399]

@@intodaysepisode... we are at a christmas event and she keeps giving me this creepy grin

[@mono5599]

Happy early birthday 🎉🎉

[@carolynmccord2399]

@@mono5599 thank you 😊

[@kianabrown2865]

I was literally just watching one of your videos until I saw that you posted. So excited to watch! I’ve been watching you since 2016.

[@connielichtenberg8816]

When I was about 5, I answered the door. It was our neighbor. I told her "Why are you here? My mom doesn't like you." 🤣 It was true.

[@frankclemence1681]

My family would recall this story of mine every once in a while. During my older sister's graduation dinner, I told them all that "I was sick and tired." My mother was offended until I repeated what I said, emphasizing "sick" and "tired." I had a cold at the time and had lots of trouble sleeping the night before because of it.

[@DylosMoon]

The wife’s experience, in her words: my six year old niece was watching a show with me one night. After I already got on her for spitting on me, I wiped it off with my shirt. She looks at my stomach and says “oh did you have a baby!? I see your marks…” I was a virgin and 15 😑 haha 😂

[@baybeetricia]

Fossil mom 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm not even a mom but I felt that 😭

[@goodluck7327]

i was putting my son to bed, i say goodnight, and he says " mommy, when santa looks at you, he says ho ho holy shit" he laughed so hard, i did too, that was funny

[@stacyk123]

My elementary school friend the first time he came over to my house and saw my dad. "Where's your dad?" "That is my dad." "Oh, I thought that was your grandpa."

[@brucehamm2072]

My mother grew a beard because of menopause so she usually keeps it shaved but one time she decided that she didn't feel like shaving it my 5 year old nephew came to visit and before he even gets in the house he sees her waiting in the doorway and yells at the top of his lungs gradma looks like mufasa meaning mufasa from the lion king she never lit that beard grow again

[@amethyst5538]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🦁

[@StrawberryCakeStudiosYT]

Oh ,y lord 😂

[@elainegoodner7948]

My oldest was 13 when they were watching, "Land Before Time". He looked at me and asked, "Mom? What was it like growing up with dinosaurs for pets?".

[@marciceja4266]

Back in the 90s, I worked as a dance instructor. Our dance school held competitions on public access television. My kids were watching tv one afternoon and yelled, "Mama! Mama! You're on TV!!" It was actually Michael Jackson.

[@AmberLaRaine-ww5pl]

For a bit I wasn't shaving my legs. My six year old saw and went to her sister (seven) and said "I know why mommys single, have you seen her legs?" I was in my room folding laundry. 🤣🤣🤣

[@romeoslover817]

my Dad’s neighbor kid asked him, “Why are you so old?”. My Dad paused a minute and answered, “ cause I ain’t dead yet.”

[@victoriast.dennis9769]

I'm a school librarian, the other day I picked up a group of 1st graders for library and as we were walking to my room a student asked if I friends with another staff member we had just passed (I had joked with her as we passed) I said "kinda" without missing a beat the student turned to another and said "I'm Ms. St.Dennis's friend. She doesn't have many." I was standing right next to her as she said it. 🤣😢

[@styledbylynee1342]

It’s definitely been a minute since I been on this channel bc when did you get hair ? Let alone braids 😭they looking good tho 😊

[@t.j.madison3498]

I was wearing a short sleeves shirt and my four-year-old nephew was playing with my arm fat and turned to his mother (my older sister) and asked, "Is she fat, mama?" That was my wake-up call to lose weight. 🤣😂😭

[@ladysparkymartin]

Late to the game but… Sitting with my sister and niece and my niece turns to her mom and asks, “Mom, why are we skinny and Auntie is fat?” Nail in coffin, my damn sister laughed! 😩

[@SeverusSnape12345]

When my brother and I were kids, my brother said he liked Golden Corral better than my parents' cooking because it tasted better. My parents were so offended lol

[@kerriann7466]

My sister was sitting on my mom's couch talking about something. My son, who was about 5 at the time, had his elbows on the arm of the couch and his face on his hands. He was looking at her intently and when she stopped talking he said, "Aunt Donna, you have a mustache" 🤣🤣🤣Kids are blunt and cold lol

[@SarahDEMcIntosh]

I’m not a parent, but a child care teacher. I came to work one day without makeup on and one of my preschoolers asked if I was wearing makeup. I said “no I’m not today”, which she promptly responded with “well you should put some on”.

[@andihubb]

I was talking to my cousin once and for some reason he said, "black people HAVE to use picks, they can't use anything else." To which I responded, "that's not true, I use combs on my hair all the time." He said "yea that's why your hair always looks a mess" 😭

[@kristnkobolka9144]

For Halloween this year, me and a couple of friends dressed up as the Sanderson sisters and my 11 year old told me that I didn't need a costume to be a witch.

[@markyyy5261]

Merida is the red head princess with the bow and arrow💀💀😭

[@laraayala9572]

I was babysitting a sweet 4yr old girl, and completely unprompted she said “Miss Lara you’re a fat girl!” And I said “Why am I a fat girl?!” And she said “Cause you’re funny”. I mean the logic stands 😂

[@bobbiwoodward6674]

My youngest son came in one morning and said, "Mommy you look just like a Disney princess when you wane up!" I said, "Aw, which one?". He proudly said, "Merida!" He loved Brave and I had long curly red hair, so I took it as a compliment, until he started giggling!! So that comment hit home. I never got called Belle though. 🤔

[@cherylchester1496]

Not really a roast, but my kids who are now adults admitted they used to whisper my name. When I would say what, they said I didn't say anything. They said they wanted me to think I was going crazy.

[@arrogantf.m.p.8905]

Yo kids just evil. They wanted to put you in a psych ward

[@Sunshine-1998]

When my little cousin was 7 she put her hand on my stomach and said "are you gonna be a mommy soon" and I said "no I'm just fat" 😅😂

[@feetsalenobaby8331]

*at the store many years ago* Goth Chick: *walks by* Little Brother: Mommy, it’s a vampire

[@meaganphelps4311]

When my daughter was 11 we were at Walmart and I stuck my fingers in something sticky on the cart. Being funny I said why does this always happen to me. She looked at me and said "Karma" I said "What karma?" She said with a straight face "have you heard your voice" wtf. I also asked her to take a pic of me one day and she said "how many selfies do you take?" I said "not alot" and she said with a smirk "probably more than your worth" She's as loving as her father. Lol

[@Kaielyncooper]

I can’t do this lol not the kid asked about why their grandma passed away and the parents said it was probably their time, took me all the way out when the child said you’re probably next lol why did I start screaming laughing and crying at the same time? I’m so glad I don’t live with other people because I would’ve woke them up. Lol.

[@shaunhorton5619]

My great nephew came up to me, poked my belly and said "Uncle Shaun why is your belly so big?" The trauma unit is still trying to resuccitate me.

[@Hemi247eep]

When I was 4 years old my family took us to the buffet, and my dad made the comment about eating to much will make you fat... without hesitation 4 year old me said loud in proud "I wanna be fat like mommy!" I immediately made my mother stop eating lol 😬😅🤣

[@barbaraschena5476]

My oldest daughter is now 31. One of my favorite stories is of her at 5 years old. I was 25 abd reading her Dr. Suess' Green Eggs and Ham. I said that I remembered this story and loved it as a kid. She looked me in the eyes and asked " They had books when you were a kid?" I said, " Yes, Katie. Even my cave had stone tablets." Lol. I love kids.

[@angelbrooks3678]

Merida is the princess with the long red curly hair that’s very good at archery 😂

[@daniellegonzales4223]

I'm Merida every morning 🤣🤣

[@angelanova9732]

“We should be able to sue kids” for what??…their legos?? THEY HAVE NO INCOME!! Lol 😂 i know you were joking, that was funny!

[@Nicole-is2gi]

I once was asked by a child no more than 10 are you pregnant I said oh gosh no she then replied by saying you shouldn’t tell anyone you’re not pregnant I walked away words can hurt😂😂😂😂

[@NhonyaBSness]

Here's another gem from my 3-year-old daughter during a shower: She just pointed at me and started laughing hysterically. When I asked her why she said, "You sure do have some funny boobs!"😒🤦🏻‍♀️😂🤣😂