FNAF: SB REWRITTEN - CH 15 (AO3 WRITTEN VERSION AVAILABLE!)

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@kiwiqueen138 Жыл бұрын

Just so you guys know, both Roxy and Monty are wrong AND right in this situation. I didn’t want to demonize either of them, so there is not a “good guy” and a “bad guy”, It’s just a really dysfunctional family. Still, it would be interesting to know what you guys think of these two :) Link to written version: archiveofourown.org/works/45445291?view_full_work=true Link to next episode: kzbin.info/www/bejne/b4ClgGSmj7CEedU Link to previous episode: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bGKqmYp6gsZol6M Link to full playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLKMzqZUiHWUjzZj0jfJym1CTORp4rdEDD

@gladisseabrook3309 Жыл бұрын

I don't mean to sound insensitive, and I only ask this because my brother has this, but does Monty have elements of autism?

@icyferaligatr9908 Жыл бұрын

Oh god this one was absolutely heartwrenching. The psychological warfare that Vanessa pulls on Monty is downright deplorible and I dare say painful to listen to. Also i've got my own theories on why exactly all the Animatronics have mental issues, and especially with Monty and his anger issues. But i'll keep em to myself for now. And oh god the fight at the beginning was heartbreaking. I feel so sorry for both of them, and its clear that Monty has always been the black sheep of the group. And god thats just sad. Everybody in the cast, baring Vanessa, needs a hug but god damn it Monty needs one the most. I feel so bad for my favorite cowboy gator. Great episode and totally worth the wait. Also for my thoughts on Roxanne and Monty, they have always been my two favorites from SB. And seeing how much more character and depth they get is so refreshing. This dysfunctional duo both need help and god damn it I want to give it to them. Its absolutely tragic that both gotta go through with this. Thats all i'll say for now, but just know you did an amazing job and shattering my heart into a million pieces for this one. -Icy

@Mr.encore Жыл бұрын

Hey, I got one question: Are you ever going to release the original ch15 at some point, or have you already deleted it

@undeadprincess5726 Жыл бұрын

Okay, I never thought I would relate to Monty. "A rulebook he wasn't allowed to read." Really speaks volumes to me. Thank you for the extra character growth with him and Roxy, and an insight into their strained relationship.

@spiritofchaos58 Жыл бұрын

Oh. My. Goodness. I KNEW I’d love this episode the second I realized Cowboy Croc was getting his own chapter. I’ve got such a soft spot for Monty, and I LOVE how you write him; I knew this chapter was going to be amazing. I was NOT prepared for how great it was. First of all, I’m obsessed with how you decided to use Bonnie’s death. By removing the mystery of what happened, you create a wonderful bit of horror and source of tension for all the animatronics! It PERFECTLY shows how ruthless Jeremy is, and PERFECTLY highlights the horror of having sapient entertainment robots. They’re AWARE, they’re alive, and yet they’re treated like replicable property. It is horrifying, and I love it. The idea that the animatronics can just be MADE aware is creepy all on its own. I totally understand Monty’s discomfort at the golf course. He spent YEARS there, and has no memory because he was just a set of simple commands and machinery. That alone is scary, and the idea that he could hypothetically be brought back to that state is even scarier. And this whole situation with Monty and the other Glamrocks! Absolutely heartbreaking! Vanny’s right in lots of ways. Monty represents something HORRIBLE to the Glamrocks. Not only the death and replacement of their friend, but also the fact that ANY side attraction could take their place. If they step out of line, they’ll be replaced, and Monty is clear proof of that. He’s a walking threat to them, regardless of what he does as an individual. But where she’s wrong is saying it’s his fault. He didn’t decide to take Bonnie’s place, nor did he decide to terrify the others. There was nothing he could have done. If he’d refused, they would have ‘disciplined’ him until he complied, or simply gotten a different animatronic to take the role. Vanny is blaming him for replacing Bonnie, but it isn’t his fault whatsoever. What other choice did he have? He’s an animatronic; according to Fazbear Entertainment, he doesn’t GET choices. And for all the anger she showed towards him, and for how genuinely furious her words sounded, I’m confident Vanny knows it isn’t Monty’s fault. I think her hatred for him is genuine; she was close to the original animatronics, and he’s as much as an invader to her as he is to the other Glamrocks. But she knows firsthand how the animatronics can be controlled, she’d done it herself for her own gain. She knows how the company works, and she knows Monty doesn’t have a choice in the matter. She’s manipulating him, just like she tried manipulating Freddy into giving her Gregory. I gotta say I LOVE how you write Vanny. It feels like her dialogue is PERFECTLY tailored to whatever character she’s talking to. With Freddy, she tried to highlight the pain his family endured, using half-truths to try to convince him that Gregory was a threat. And with Monty? She KNOWS about his conflict with the others, and she knows what they think of him. And she knows it bothers him and that he doesn’t know how to deal with that stress. So she just lays into him, distracting him with concerns that plague him daily, trying to get him to lose his cool and let her escape. I’m confident that she chose the golf course intentionally, just to throw him off a little more. She is so manipulative and calculated, and I LOVE IT. And I HAVE TO talk about Monty for a second. I LOVE how you write him! Since he first appeared, I’ve been fascinated by his characterization, because it’s so different from other versions of him I’ve seen. He’s quick to apologize, he seems INTIMIDATED by Freddy. He’s nervous and quick tempered, and it’s so fascinating! And this chapter just puts all the pieces into place for me. This poor bot’s got WILD anxiety. The way you write him perfectly showcases that without having to clearly say it, a great example of ‘show, don’t tell’. The way he’s constantly overthinking his actions, how insecure he is over knowing what’s the right way to handle a situation. He’s anxious and constantly overthinking, and that anxiety is like an overwhelming pressure or a constant itch underneath his skin. And because he doesn’t have a good outlet, it just explodes out of him in a fit of aggressive frustration. He’s cripplingly anxious, but because he responds with anger rather than dissolving into tears, people just think he’s aggressive. He’s an imperfect victim, someone who suffers with anxiety in a way that isn’t pitiable or lovable, and he’s seen as a monster because of it. This isn’t me justifying what he did of course! I don’t think I know enough about what happened during Monty’s first few weeks of life to have a solid understanding, but I do think there’s some truth to what Vanny said about why Monty trashed Bonnie’s area. I think he was jealous and bitter. He wanted to be accepted by the others, ESPECIALLY Freddy, and the fact that he wasn’t made him upset. I’m sure he tried to fit in, but each failure just led him to overthink his actions, to figure out what he’d did wrong. And every time he tried to get close, the memory of Bonnie blocked him. The sting of rejection, the anxiety over not fitting in, and the fact that Bonnie was acting as a barrier towards what he wanted, led him to lash out and do something horrible. Monty was of course horribly in the wrong for doing something like that, but it isn’t some random act of aggression of spite. And in turn, the Glamrocks for wrong for rejecting Monty without giving him a chance, but it’s entirely understandable that they did! Their friend was KILLED, and this was his replacement. Monty could’ve been the sweetest bot around, and they still wouldn’t have welcomed him. It was a horrible situation, and everyone involved had an understandable reaction. I don’t think anyone is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ here, except for Fazbear Entertainment. They’re the ones who decided to scrap Bonnie and put Monty in his place. They’re the ones who started the conflict, and the Glamrocks are just the victims of it. (I really do feel for Monty though. It’s already hard to enter into a pre-established friend group. It’s harder to do that when your arrival represents something tragic and horrible. From day one he had no friends or support group, and things just kept getting worse from there. Monty’s become the mascot for a problem much bigger than he is, and he just isn’t equipped to handle it.) This chapter has DESTROYED me in so many little ways. Roxy’s defensiveness and attempts to hide her self-harm scars was so sad! And the fact that Monty simply COULDN’T understand what was going on just highlights how unequipped he is for the situation. He just thinks she’s being difficult, prideful and irritable. And so he doesn’t even hesitant to ask an insensitive question like “why does your face look so weird?” Their whole argument was just a tragedy, a trainwreck that was bound to happen. Putting those two together was not Freddy’s best decision. And how Monty’s first response upon seeing Vanny’s suit was to think she was Bonnie, how Bonnie’s legacy so clearly haunts him! And how Vanny says Monty’s proving everyone right with his behavior, when it’s everyone’s expectations that became a self-fulfilling prophecy! And how interesting it is to me that Vanny seems like she’s manipulating Monty, but also has genuine hatred for him! I love it, I’m obsessed. Final note because this is getting…way too long. I love how Vanny took Monty down. It really highlights her hypocrisy. She acts like she’s on the animatronics’ side in opposing Monty, but then uses the shocks as ‘discipline’, just like the company that has been hurting the Glamrocks. UGH. I am LOVING this dysfunctional family drama SO MUCH

@anentirecircus186 Жыл бұрын

I love how neither Roxy nor Monty are in the right, nor are they both in the wrong. They're both flawed people that can't understand each other even in the slightest. I adore that. They're both absolutely right to feel the way they do, imo. Vanessa using Monty's insecurities and fears against him really hurt, especially when she then proceeded to seriously harm him. VERY rude. I'm also worried sick for Roxy, since shes now alone and a very easy target should Vanessa decide to take her out as well. Im starting to realize a potential reason we're only halfway through, and oh boy was I right to be scared lol. Anyway I cant tell if you purposefully made Monty feel neurodivergent, but I've personally decided he is now. I too wish I had the life rulebook. (By the way, dont be so hard on yourself about needing longer between uploads! Two weeks is still significantly faster than any fics I'M following lol, quality takes time! So don't worry about it too much, okay?) Tldr: I'm claiming Monty as nd because mood (/j) and I'm scared for everyone else now

@cycloneabsol9405 Жыл бұрын

DAMN good episode. 1) I'm glad we're getting a little more of the post-episode lore brought in. In the prologue we learned that the Bonnie remains were stolen, and now we got more info on that. Also, we've known for a while that Vanessa's brother Jeremy runs the company, so it's nice to see that acknowledged. 2) I can't wait for Vanessa to get beaten up or something, because hot damn she's a piece of shit.

@Monroecookie24 Жыл бұрын

*What my mind though when it saw the animatronics pov episodes* : IM GETTING MY FOUND FAMILY HURT COMFORT *What the episodes are for now* : ANGST NO CONFORT. (THIS isnt complaint, plis continue)

@malinok4889 Жыл бұрын

No need to worry about delaying chapters, take as long as you need, as long you're happy with them, we will be as well:)

@STARS_SHIMMERS Жыл бұрын

Yeah!! You deserve time to plan this out Kiwi- thank you for this series!!

@cozy_blu Жыл бұрын

As the saying goes (at least somewhat) ‘a delayed project is eventually good while a rushed one will forever be bad’

@twist_ending7545 Жыл бұрын

Roxy calling Monty "grasshole" made me wheeze

@Analog_Anarchist Жыл бұрын

Jeez, I felt Monty's pain...poor guy, it'll get better, just talk to them okay? Vanny...you're going down, you bitch. One last thing, why do I get a feeling that Bonnie may not be dead... My Theory: Vanessa was behind Bonnie's scrapping, and is now using either his body parts for her armor, or as an animatronic slave to use to kill kids for her.

@Jaded_Jasper Жыл бұрын

GOD THIS MUST HAVE BEEN PAINFUL TO WORK ON. Either way, nice job!!

@detectivenarwhal388 Жыл бұрын

Man I wanna give Monty a hug this was so painful to hear (in a good way!) great work!

@DeadlyD05 Жыл бұрын

This was an awesome chapter to allow character development, greatly appreciated. And as for the schedule change, I'm all for it. Your quality with this has been phenominal and we wouldn't have it any other way. Take as much time as you need and we'll be here to support you all the way. I find it interesting that you're lining up with Steven's characteristics to a tee (if you came to that realization too, feel free to laugh a little. =D). Just remember that we're all here for you and you can relax a little. You're awesome!

@mythicaldrawer7072 Жыл бұрын

Oh boy, this will go either way. Vanny will either dismantle Monty to the point he won't be able to have legs (Like from the main game) Or she will try chipping him again and have him under her control. Either way, this is not gonna go well. Another thing. It's becoming more clear and clear that Vanny deeply cares for the main cast, to the point that she resents Monty for destroying what is left of Bonnie Bowl. But her reason behind kidnapping a kid, was she the one who put the human parts in the animatronic? If so, what was she trying to achieve with that? Another thing, when Monty said where the kid was, she said it's none of his concerns. This kinda gives me hope that she hasn't even touched or harmed him yet, but then again, I might be reading into things too deeply I love how you presented Monty's anger management issues, Instead of him being someone who is angry 24/7 and having a simialer personalty to Roxy, he is more confused of why he gets angry and how he hates feeling the feelings he has. Thought Roxy has a point that Monty has some issues, it still hard to hear him get more and more upset at the fact he doesn't know why he get upset and angry.

@cycloneabsol9405 Жыл бұрын

I think Kiwi mentioned Vanessa's motive in the preview video before starting the series. While it's not explicitly stated what the deal is exactly, she was inspired by Afton (and by the lore at the end, presumably after reading his journal). That's why she started killing kids in a bunny costume.

@mythicaldrawer7072 Жыл бұрын

@@cycloneabsol9405 Really? I don't think I picked up on that. If so, why was she inspired by it? Is she trying to bring someone back to life or is she trying to become immortal herself?

@cycloneabsol9405 Жыл бұрын

@@mythicaldrawer7072 As of yet unclear. All we know so far is that, according to Kiwi in the announcement video ("I'm Rewriting FNAF: Security Breach! (info/release date)") the only connection to the original 6 games is "Vanessa was inspired by Willian Afton." As for how we know it was from reading his journal, that's my speculation after the post-episode lore in Chapter 7 was from her father, Victor Miller, and he said that he was going to "burn that creepy journal" because he didn't want his kids to be inspired by William Afton (yes, he did mention Afton by name.) Lastly, she was most likely just inspired for the murder and the bunny costume, and I doubt immortality's really gonna play a big role in the story (since Kiwi said that we're keeping Peepaw Willie dead, and he probably wouldn't have been too old to have just survived in normal ways when he died in the FNAF 6 fire.) That's a real thing that happens IRL, people read up on serial killers and then are inspired to become killers themselves. Happens a disturbing amount, actually. I have a whole document I keep about the lore in case you want more info on this.

@mythicaldrawer7072 Жыл бұрын

@@cycloneabsol9405 Alright, thanks for clarfication. I'll keep that in mind in future videoes

@cycloneabsol9405 Жыл бұрын

@@mythicaldrawer7072 No problem!

@squiddyflip3039 Жыл бұрын

Y'all I have a small theory- Kiwi's rewrite will occasionally show symbols with Numbers over letters. Don't really know what the numbers mean, but I think I might know what the letters stand for: The animatronics. The first, P over 2. "P" could stand for the puppet twins. Next, B over 4. "B" could stand for Bonnie. Next, M over 7. "M" could stand for Music Man.

@awe_brey_n_hd1266 Жыл бұрын

M might mean Monty because music man is described as DJ

@myaursus247 Жыл бұрын

don't feel bad about uploading a new chapter every 2 weeks, for how much work and effort goes into making this possible at all that is still insanely fast! so don't sweat it alright? you're doing amazing, thank you for the update!❤❤❤❤

@cycloneabsol9405 Жыл бұрын

Kiwi, take all the time you need. You're a great writer, I know your stuff will be worth the wait.

@nintendowatermelon6357 Жыл бұрын

I'm on chapter 7 still but I'm glad this series is still going, good job! 💪

@cyanide_crow7970 Жыл бұрын

Wait until you get to chapter 13, I'm still recovering from that

@nintendowatermelon6357 Жыл бұрын

@@cyanide_crow7970 😅 Pretty excited to reach that chapter, lol I hope its fine

@Sapphire864 8 ай бұрын

1. 22:49 is one of a few occasions of an image of the Daycare popping up? I just want to point that out bc I haven't seen it pointed out, and it might be nice to know about if it is a mistake. I just read through all of the comments to be sure, too. 2. I forgot my headphones were on next to me, so when Roxy said "GO AWAY," I jumped bc, even tho they were off (and not even on loud lol) I could hear it clearly in my silent house.

@KiwiQueenREWRITTEN 8 ай бұрын

Oh no, sorry about the daycare image! That was a mistake, I had to tie a sound effect’s audio file to an image so it could be added to the final product, it seems I forgot to make the image transparent that time 😅

@Sapphire864 8 ай бұрын

@@KiwiQueenREWRITTEN ah, I see. It’s no big deal, ofc, but I thought you should know lol

@mythicaldrawer7072 Жыл бұрын

CRACKPOT THEORY! What if Vanny was trying to bring Bonnie back, but somehow mixed Burntrap into his parts, and Burntrap is now controlling the scraped Bonnie, telling Vanny to kidnap the kids to "Help him". Ik this may be a stretch, but it would explain A LOT of reasons why she could be kidnapping the kids and just acting the way she is!

@mythicaldrawer7072 Жыл бұрын

Edit: Just saw the info for the rewrite and saw that she was never planning to bring Willie back from the dead, so that yeets this theory out the window. Still gonna keep this up so everyone else can poke fun at me for missing the memo. Anyways, gonna go back to theory thinking on why Vanny is doing this and what her end goal is.

@CassetteTapestry Жыл бұрын

I forgot to watch the rest of the video after halfway so I could think fo questions, but now I just like don't remember what questions I had 😅 This was an amazing episode! I don't know what you wrote for this before, but this episode is just AMAZING! Literally so descriptive and I felt every emotion! You're amazing at this! If I do have any questions, I'll reply to this! ^^

@calebartboy7620 Жыл бұрын

Great episode, also don’t worry if it takes long as long as your fine than I’m perfectly ok with waiting longer

@FaygoCherry1342 Жыл бұрын

i feel like monty would be afraid of the others at a certain point because he's afraid of them yelling or hitting him, and because of that, he hates himself and who he is. so he's afraid of getting close to people because of that I hope this makes any sense :,]

@cycloneabsol9405 Жыл бұрын

YOOOO IT'S FINALLY HERE AND KIWI USED OUR IDEA!!!

@whisper_ishere518 Жыл бұрын

I love this series, but something I don't like about this episode in particular is the pacing. There is so much time here spent standing around doing nothing except having characters think in the same general location that I got bored. Once again, I love this series, it's just this one didn't do it for me. I understand WHY it's like this, because the original game lacked anything like this. Other than that, this series has been an absolue blast, I binged it all in one day. Also, I have some questions! 1. Why is Roxy's design changed so drastically from the original? 2. Why is the daycare attendant (Specifically Sun) beat up so kuch in this? It's implied that he is fixed every once-in-a-while so why would being dormant in the daycare, doing nothing that would damage him... damage him? 3. Is the layout of the Pizzaplex relatively the same as in the game? 4. Is the stage lift here made larger then in the game? Because I don't thing DJ Music Man would fit on it otherwise. 5. Does the events of every FNaF game before Security Breach stay the same as the canon timeline? 6. How did DJ Music Man leave the arcade? He would be WAY too big to fit in any normal door. 7. Will a shattered Bonnie exist in this storyline? That's all the questions I have.

@kiwiqueen138 Жыл бұрын

It’s fine if you didn’t like it, some people don’t like character interactions as much as “action”. We’ll have more action later, but this small section of the story (like only the next two chapters or some thing) is taking a brief break from horror and is instead going to be committed to building up the character’s personalities. (AKA, making the audience care about them so then they actually feel invested when more crazy stuff happens to the characters later haha) 1: I changed Roxy’s design because I hated her original design. It was something about the weird non-united color scheme, it just wasn’t doing it for me so I changed it to better fit a ‘laser tag arena’ theme 2: You misunderstand - the extra spare parts in parts and services are just kept there until they need them, so the technicians order all the parts they *expect* to be broken. Even though the daycare has been shut down for a month, they didn’t just throw those parts away, they were expensive lmao. They just left them there in case they need them later 3: Yes, the layout is a LOT different than it is in the game. I tried to make it more organized than it was in the game, with all of the main characters attractions in one lobby and the other side-attractions in the rest of the mall 4: Yes, that’s also larger so DJ can fit 5: Pretty much, except for help wanted. For this AU, William Afton died in the pizzeria simulator fire 6: DJ’s area isn’t in the arcade? The layout isn’t the same. If you listen to the surrounding descriptions that I narrate in the episodes, you’ll be able to get a better idea of what everything looks like. Or, if you want to be faster, you could read the copy I have on AO3 instead :) 7: You’ll have to wait and see :) Thanks for watching :D

@whisper_ishere518 Жыл бұрын

@@kiwiqueen138 Oh, sorry, I didn't realize that DJ wasn't there. I was doing other things while listening to this lol. Also what I meant is in the art it's shown that the daycare attendant has some withering on his hand and his sun beams, what's that about? I don't think s month of sitting dormant would do that.

@kiwiqueen138 Жыл бұрын

Oh whoops, I didn’t realize you were talking about something else with Sun, sorry lol But it’s cool that you picked up on those details! I’ll be glad to explain: Sun’s hands are bleached because of how much he’s been cleaning the daycare - his hands have been in almost constant contact with chemicals, so it’s messing up the paint. Besides listening to his crazy brother, cleaning was pretty much all that Sun could do to keep ahold of the situation. It became a sort of obsession, because he wants to keep the daycare neat and tidy for when the kids come back. And his rays are damaged because he started picking and pulling on them a lot out of stress. The sort of ‘root’ of that reflex is Sun trying to keep Moon inside by keeping the rays out, so it turned from that to tearing them up just to keep himself awake.

@whisper_ishere518 Жыл бұрын

Ah! That explains a lot. I have two more things to say though. 1. Your Roxy design is so unbelievably adorable!! 2. I noticed that the body parts found inside the white boxes correspond to what animation if they are from. Freddy has teeth (Honestly don't know on that one, maybe a nightmare Fredbear reference?), Roxy has eyes, obvious similarity to the fact she has the ocular upgrade, Monty has fingers, a similarity to the claws he has, and Chica has the tongue, which is similar to the fact she can talk better. Were the white boxes what gave them the upgrades?

@kiwiqueen138 Жыл бұрын

1: Thanks! 2: No, the severed human parts were not what gave them the upgrades. Those were given for a purpose that can be inferred later on in the story, but they were not the cause of the animatronic’s sentience or anything.

@TheBigGuap 11 ай бұрын

Aw heck nah, Monty just got *cyber bullied.*

@astrumcat64.mp4 Жыл бұрын

Kiwi you are such a cool author ! I am a fellow writer , and was wondering if you had a discord server or something of the like ? :DD

@lexxblep-groundzero1369 Жыл бұрын

I honestly do love the way they talk to each other you can honestly hear the frustration and anger between them there's pain between them I love the way Roxy acts she's petty and angry and Monty's apologetic and shy but we can tell that he's done something wrong That's the reason he's acting like this he feels guilty I'm just curious on why

@lexxblep-groundzero1369 Жыл бұрын

18:49 I heard that real dog yelp that was amazing

@lexxblep-groundzero1369 Жыл бұрын

Okay, I never thought I would relate to Monty. "A rulebook he wasn't allowed to read."I feel so relatable as a human the fact that we're all brought into this world without any idea what we're supposed to do here oh God that's so creepily and relatable 30:00

@lexxblep-groundzero1369 Жыл бұрын

Oo-oh the fact that monty is remember te time he was an inaminate object is pretty exitential ;-; that is really freaking creepy

@lexxblep-groundzero1369 Жыл бұрын

Interested? Monty wanting Freddy to be interested in him did the shipping fuel is there I need it oh my gosh

@lexxblep-groundzero1369 Жыл бұрын

Monty is a product of things he couldn't control Bonnie kept messing up accidentally over and over again and no one cared enough to try to help him no one cared enough to try to fix him. And Monty was used to replace him he couldn't help the fact that he was just a random background character that was used but he is a symbol to represent that Everyone knows that if they mess up they can be just replaced they can be simply replaced turned into something else entirely Monty represents that and he knows that He hates it he probably angers him how isolated he feels why everyone hates him he feels like he does everything right when no one understands him That's why he's angry