Let's Not Reward Congress For Doing The Bare Minimum

Congress passed a bill to fund the government for two more months, but moved no closer to solving the other crises on our hands: raising the debt ceiling and avoiding a catastrophic debt default. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@vdiitd]

I'm so tired of this "will they, won't they" drama about US government shutdown. And I'm not even American. 😂😂😂

[@tsubadaikhan6332]

And it's peculiarly American. It was invented in 1917 so they didn't blow too much money on WW1, & it has given them grief ever since. Bizarre.

[@poltronafrau]

Bruh same

[@hepthegreat4005]

@@tsubadaikhan6332 americans believe that the founding fathers birthed America perfect 200 years ago.... No changes needed. (Despite those founders leaving ways for america to evolve because they knew stuff woild change)

[@urbaniteurbanizer1612]

Why can't Americans just revolt against Republicans ?

[@christopherlambright6593]

We more We need more support from our overseas friends than ever Our place might seem a little messed up but wasn' yours at 1 time?

[@markm4106]

Damn straight Colbert, "I paid my bill!!!" isn't cause for celebration Honestly though, I have dealt with children...at least they were honest though.

[@lazyperfectionist1]

We didn't pay our bill, though. Paying the nation's bill means that the national debt stops increasing. It didn't do that. It hasn't done that since Clinton was in office.

[@AndiDuck]

"If parents treated their children as evenhandedly as America treats its citizens, one child would get a pony for Christmas and the other child would get cancer." - Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian

[@dozzer009]

Glory! ✋🏻🤣

[@ferox965]

Betty rules.

[@wisho-ro4305]

Betty rules!😁

[@markmh835]

Why right-wing so-called Christians -- especially pseudo-Christian politicians -- don't see themselves in Mrs. Betty Bowers is beyond me. .i have not yet found a single right-wing Christian nutcase who even knows who Betty Bowers is. (She flies under the radar for some folk.)

[@SevenHunnid]

I’m a young mexican hustler trying to make it out the hood by doing reaction videos 🤒

[@mrbroeders]

This could be solved in one easy way...tax the rich

[@MTMF.london]

My dear, the USA and its government are run by the banking/finance corporations, big pharma, big tech and the military/industrial complex - all filthy rich off the back of Average Joe. They would never vote against their own interest.

[@MrDrProfessorSir962]

Entitlement mentality!??? As they take summers off and have amazing healthcare and retirement plans

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

It's the usual. Losers think they have smashed the glass ceiling and are in the elite now, so they pull the ladder up behind them. As long as their bellies are full and they can look down on someone, they're complacent.

[@Redridge07]

@@mdmurray17 You are lost, congressmen are some of the most entitled people on the planet

[@MaryAnnNytowl]

@@Redridge07 at least they don't pay 0% on taxes plus get tax subsidies back every year for years, straight. #CorporateWelfareQueens

[@Redridge07]

@@MaryAnnNytowl The median networth of US congress is $1M and much of the increased taxes on the rich would also increase taxes on themselves. ie, Mitt Romney, networth $250M, Mark Warner $215M, Rick Scott $220M, yet the right accepts the talking points from the GOP senate that increasing taxes on the rich would be bad for the average man.

[@It-b-Blair]

“As a senator I’m entitled to plunge this country into crisis if I don’t get my way 😭😭😭” 🤦‍♂️🤪 hypocrite

[@christopherheckman7957]

Sinema's not only not listening to reporters, she's not listening to her constituents.

[@Trund27]

She needs to be impeached!

[@christopherheckman7957]

@@Trund27 Uh, no, not now anyway. If she's removed from Office, our Republican governor will replace her (most likely with Martha McSally), and Mitch will be Majority Leader again.

[@qwdsdnaovbav]

she only listens to big company money

[@AmericanTeacher-USA]

Sinema is a one-trick pony. One term.

[@jb888888888]

@@Trund27 IANAL but it is my understanding that US senators can't be impeached.

[@BlackSunCompany]

This 11th hour brinksmanship is just unacceptable. I can't remember when we haven't been doing this.

[@intuitionz1198]

it's all to scare you. there's no way Joe Biden is going to be allowed to tank the economy. at the current state we're in the handlers would just have to pony up. there are things he can do to pass the budget reconciliation Bill all on his own. I forget what it is, but he will probably get impeached for it if he has to. someone that knows more about this would be better able to explain it cuz I'm doing a really bad job. 😂

[@gladtravis]

@@intuitionz1198 , Biden isn't the problem. The problem is people who think holding the country at gunpoint in order to torpedo a Democratic bill is a good idea. (Meanwhile, when they added $2T to deficit via reconciliation for *already* rich people, Dems did no such thing). In other words, it's the same problem plaguing the nation all over: Republicans.

[@christinebenson518]

@@gladtravis How dare you. Republicans have been trying to take America back to the 1870s for years now. They haven't succeeded because of the Democrats. Democrats wanting women and people of color voting. Democrats wanting bridges that won't collapse. Democrats wanting people to get free community college. I really don't understand why people vote for Republicans when they don't actually support what the people want.

[@margorgogo]

2017

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

The US government has shut down 21 times since the early 1970's. Rich entitled snots having a fit, holding their breath til the country turns blue (no, not a political reference). Great system you got there, USA.

[@johannesbitterwolf6691]

Every time germanys political system frustrates me, I watch one of these videos. Instantly makes me appreciate what i have.

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

Genau!

[@meretefrederiksen4482]

Yes and im with your idea of stress release in Denmark...i dont like many of our politicians ,but hey. They could be absoloutely insane,like in the US

[@LoveSponge007]

Wild.. so how are Americans suppose to destress then?

[@michaeld9682]

@@LoveSponge007these Colbert viewers will always complain about whatever Colbert tells them to complain about

[@sarahmeyers1773]

Please let us move in 🤣😭

[@matthuck378]

You know what'd almost completely fix the US government? Get rid of the entire GOP. And Manchin and Sinema.

[@oxoalan1]

A good democracy is strengthened by "Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition." Leaving aside being a republic, it's the "loyal" (not insurrectionist) part that has *long since* departed from the GQP - ever since Gingrich.

[@thjbird]

In Manchin’s defense, he just want to make sure that we work in a completely bipartisan manner with the goal of helping Mitch McConnell get whatever he wants.

[@hywelgething4943]

So true. It wouldn't surprise me if he switched party after the next election. He walks and talks like a republican, so why not?

[@xXLiLJokerXx]

The turtle needs splinter

[@willritter4076]

Manchin could probably win the presidency if he runs as an independent in '024... he'd pull a lot of support in the middle of the spectrum from both parties.

[@SushanthSomayaji]

It is more likely that he will be like a trojan horse in the Dems

[@outlawJosieFox]

What Manchin really really wants is plenty of dark money without the need to declare it

[@sharprockets]

I love all the love the band has been getting. It’s a lot of love going round

[@wizardtim8573]

Wow it's embarrassing having a government that we feel the need to congratulate for basic adulting like paying the bills and MAYBE acknowledging the plumbing issue downstairs....

[@visceratrocar]

...🤨 I'm willing to sacrifice the above ground Florida to pass the infrastructure bill.

[@atar454]

Actually, the one raised eyebrow is commander Spock's trademark. "Fascinating."

[@MonkeyJedi99]

I counter that it is also another alien's "Indeed".

[@MB5rider81]

The ship.. out of danger..? Do not grieve, Admiral.. It was totally logical.

[@BeeSweet16]

Isn't that for all Vulcans? Tuvak did it too lol

[@zemoxian]

🖖 🤨

[@indigowolf556]

They can share

[@AllThingsFilm1]

Every time Manchin opens his mouth, he sounds more and more like a Republican.

[@carlplz00001]

He is a Republican (with a D).

[@taelonar5973]

Trojan Joe

[@bcshelby4926]

@@taelonar5973 ...I like that.

[@chiphill4856]

Full-on Corporate Democrat

[@MB5rider81]

Then my butthole is also sounding conservative... Interesting 🤓

[@jamiemiller7316]

" You don't get in the rock and roll hall of fame for playing the tambourine. " that was pretty darn funny.

[@davidls45]

Unless you’re Linda Ronstadt. Oh yeah, most famous of all.

[@MTMF.london]

@@davidls45 She was in it for being a singer/songwriter.

[@arthurmontana8791]

That's some very difficult comedy to pull-off. Stephen makes it look easy! BRAVO!!!😲

[@TunbosunOyenuga]

5:54 - You take the chicken across first leaving the gain and the fox. Then you comeback to get the grain across, however take the chicken back. Once drop the chicken back at the start you take the fox across leaving it with the grain again. To which you finally pickup the chicken bring it with rest.

[@irenemax3574]

Er, why bother crossing and returning with chicken only? I’m sure you meant to say, “take chicken and grain across; leave grain, return with chicken; leave chicken, cross with fox; return and collect chicken”.

[@mikeharrison1868]

And on the way back on the last trip, Manchin sinks the boat again...

[@TunbosunOyenuga]

@@irenemax3574 I suck at writing and simplify speech 🤣

[@w1mark275]

The problem is impossible to solve because the chicken can only cross the river by itself, which is pointless since for the fox and grain to get across, you need to return the boat back with the chicken, resetting the problem. So your only 2 options is to either bring the fox across, or bring the fox across with the grain. The first option is again pointless because your only option is to bring the fox back with the boat. The second option has a similar problem, since the grain is an inanimate object, it can only be brought to either side with the fox, so the fox is left to sail with the grain back and forth with no desirable outcome. If by magic however the grain could go back by itself to the chicken, the chicken could then ride to the other side by itself, the fox could then go across to collect the grain and then go back to the chicken.

[@jonaskeller4687]

@@irenemax3574 I think one of the rules given is that you can only take one thing/animal at a time. Otherwise you could obviously just bring fox and grain as your first load and the chicken as your second.

[@jimuicker4731]

"The Democrats had a chance for a big win, but in the bottom of the 9th, Joe Manchin cautioned that it would be irresponsible to score." That's a good joke.

[@bryanmcdonald4351]

The pizza slice represents our eternal loneliness and endless yearning to rejoin the pie of society before being consumed by capitalism. Also, lonely people eat a lot of pizza

[@marisolaquino719]

I thought it was pizza tonight

[@jesusleon8502]

I agree with Manchin, he’s a public servant he shouldn’t be entitled to fattening his damn pockets with taxpayer money.

[@dwaggystar6979]

I was very very sad when typing Colbert that 🤨 didn’t automatically show up. It was my favorite replacement emoji

[@MTMF.london]

I guess they took away the "Colbert" emoji because they didn't want to pay him the loyalties. lol

[@SpaceForceCommander]

For Manchin & Sinema, the Infrastructure Bill is a bridge too far.

[@istdochallesegal3427]

Brilliant

[@joycliffe266]

Nice one! 👍😂They're not even willing to bridge the gap!

[@oxoalan1]

1♦️

[@ekdaufin1485]

Dad leaving the stadium was SO good! Thank you!

[@hotrod4d]

I love how Stephen compliments his staff and gives them camera time

[@shanathompson9725]

lol @ "an above ground Florida." Let it sink.

[@jerryjulius5784]

Congratulations,haha I say fired with no golden parachute. They fleeced us long enough.

[@nickmorris585]

“Everything is bad and none of us are okay “ is the name of the 2020 chronicle.

[@torreanjohnson1050]

Any other jazz heads peep Jon Batiste playing “Giant Steps” when Stephen was talking about what all the new bill entails (2:25)? This talk show is so well-rounded.

[@JuniperLucas555]

The above ground Florida bit made me laugh way harder then it should have🤣🤣🤣

[@juliaallton1667]

The epitome of SMART COMEDY!!! 👏👏👏

[@sagedakotalmft7763]

OMG, he cracks me up. That melting face emoji he did with the split screen. And he didn't care that the way he contorted his face made him look awful! He did it for the laugh! Such a handsome guy, I didn't think he could ever look that bad! LOL

[@mdphdlife]

Bomb snooze button! Good stuff!

[@Lassenissen]

Melting Face is *literally* the "This is Fine" dog meme comic in emoji form.

[@carriehawson8880]

😂 😂 😂 An above-ground Florida

[@stevenmaxfield6103]

You're the best Colbert!

[@erickuiso3703]

I remember the archeologists going to the caves and ritual grounds seeing pictures and calling them primitive communities, yet the cool language in texts right now is emojis (pictures)....

[@SpSot]

I wonder if we have come full circle and now we are back to the beginning...

[@rogerthat4545]

👽⭐🙀🦴🖖🛸 Sent by a lithium ion powered hand held computer to a tower and transmitted as binary code using a particular frequency of radio waves specific to this user, to a satellite traveling at 17,000 miles an hour in low earth orbit, back to another tower then to your device.

[@erickuiso3703]

@@rogerthat4545 it is still just tools,granted highly more advanced... But the message is still pictures

[@SharienGaming]

@@erickuiso3703 letters are just very simple pictures with very specific meaning anyways XD

[@jandrews6254]

I’ve thought for a long time that society is devolving

[@FridgeChic]

I had the most visceral reaction to the melting smiley face! O my gaawwwwd 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 @9:10

[@Iris_and_or_George]

I still get the emoji when I type Colbert! Amazing!

[@sailinbob11]

Do we have to move,or do you think they might give us mortgage/ rent relief ? Or at least a couple months to find a good home for the kids and dog ?

[@matthewkoch6937]

Robert, they couldn't care less about your home, kids, or the dog. All they care about is fattening their wallets and congratulating themselves.

[@sailinbob11]

@@matthewkoch6937 totally agree. Fortunately, I'm 61 years old,single, and live on my sailboat. I do emphasize with those less fortunate.

[@danwic]

Stephen colbert:) I always hear it as "Cold Beer". Because listening to this man is like a cold beer on a hot summer day - smooth and relaxing and very welcome:)

[@brewsnoop]

Late night writers are the absolute best!

[@genagena127]

Made me laugh out loud! You are the best!

[@queritnovum]

It actually works! I typed 'colbert' and it totally suggest the eyebrow emoji. What a tribute to him.

[@MusicMentor]

I LOVE Stephen Colbert AND I DON'T CARE WHO HEARS THIS! Peter Linseman

[@Numbah12AD]

I'm sorry Mr. Colbert, but I believe the melting smile emoji is meant for those of us who have gone for years with depression and no one noticed us.

[@oxoalan1]

@Juragan Muda It's the singular preserve of those of us with a superior sense of humour that no-one else seems to understand. 🤨

[@CiTiTiger]

Never laughed this hard in a long time...the chicken and fox stuff🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣

[@billyhw5492]

What's it like being a robot?

[@byrdtyler]

SOOOO sick of Geico commercials.

[@monjapuppy2009]

In norway we have 5 weeks paid vacation, paid sick leave & lots of other goodies the USA don't have 😉🙂🙃

[@mitchzurbrigg2403]

We just gonna pretend that sinema didn't accept $750k from Republican donors 2 months ago?

[@bcshelby4926]

"...I believe in my heart that what we can do and what needs we have right now and what we can afford to do without basically changing our whole society to an entitlement mentality." ...says a man who lives on a 65' houseboat/yacht in DC and is a multimillionaire.

[@matthewkoch6937]

I live on just over $25,000 a year, and watch every penny. The man should get out in the real world once in a while. Those "entitlement programs" help poor people like me and my family get by. Cutting them would be fatal to so many people who just want a chance to have a good life.

[@bcshelby4926]

@@matthewkoch6937 ..currently I'm having to get by on a little over 12,100$ a year on Social Security. Even though I'm in a rent subsidised flat, half my monthly benefit goes to just keeping a roof over my head. For the time being I am covered for my state's supplemental Medicare plan which also covers the monthly premium (which now is 148$ per month just a bit less than I had to pay for the company's lousy health plan when I was working and earning about 22K per year). I almost wish I could refuse the next living cost adjustment (said to be around 6%) as it will push me over he maximum earnings threshold and disqualify me for the programme, meaning I'll have to pay the Medicare premium. So that supposed "gain" actually becomes a major "loss" dropping me below what I received per month for my fist benefit payment over 4 years ago. It's like they make it so you can't ever get ahead. They need to make Medicare for those on SS premium free as we also pay into that all our working lives.

[@jakerichey4117]

We should pass the Bill so we can find out what’s in it.

[@riggiep.7108]

At that Sinema we expected a romantic comedy. It turned into an horror movie.

[@richardbaddeley6713]

*The philosophy of the rich and the poor is that: the rich invest their money and spend what is left. The poor spend their money and invest what is left.*

[@chriswalters4559]

How many millionaires do you know who have become wealthy by investing in saving account? I rest my case.

[@theresachociai3958]

Investing for today is priceless because tomorrow isn’t promised, trading Bitcoins,gold,silver and crypto secure a better tomorrow

[@maicodillia9691]

Interesting,most people don’t understand the market moves and tend to be mislead infact like this and always depend on money in the bank very bad idea.

[@lumatijnr3957]

I understand the fact that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone,but investing today is a hard thing to do because I have no idea of how and where to invest in?

[@fatimaahmed9899]

When money realizes that it’s in good hands,it wants to stay and multiply in those arms,if you really want to make points out of the money you’ve got,you have to take it out of your savings account

[@MicJaguar]

The Can Sir joke was solid gold. 🤣

[@Thehitbird]

“An above ground Florida,” ROFL I’m dying 🤣

[@MTMF.london]

I actually wouldn't mind Florida floating away.

[@rachelbonnar]

Thank humanity that Our President only had 1 hour off from Official Duties!

[@kinkle_Z]

Pass Infrastructure!? Huh? Pass the corporate privatized giveaway without the reconciliation bill? That's it! Colbert has turned into the character he used to PRETEND to be. #HoldTheLine. !!

[@PlumBerryCherries]

"Just peel the cheese off, Love you buddy!"

[@jmisc]

I am so disappointed in Sinema. She was very promising as a centrist.

[@PuppyPrincess]

Fun fact, removing lead pipes could cause more harm than good. Because they're so old and difficult to find, any attempt at removal could cause them to seep more lead into waterways. The best thing to do is remove them as carefully as possible and in the mean time, treat them so they stabilize

[@lazyperfectionist1]

3:38 No, Manchin. That's not how it works. You're not allowed to just set a limit. You have to look at the _current_ plan and specifically detail the parts of it you want _cut._ Just _setting_ a limit means forcing someone _else_ to go through and find parts to cut; someone else who will subsequently end up receiving the blame. Going through and detailing the programs _you_ want cut means stepping forward and telling the Congress that you're willing to be the bad guy _yourself._

[@lazyperfectionist1]

What can we do to make Sinema's attitude widely known in Arizona? I mean if _ever_ there was a case of someone needing to _earn_ her job...

[@cultureal9544]

is it because Congress has old people like mcconnell who can't do any stuff anymore?

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

No, plenty of young people grabbing with both hands as well...

[@pattiemelty]

My mother would have said "Be careful, your face could freeze that way!"

[@plz1277]

“Melty face?” I thought that was Mitch McConnell!?

[@nonamegame9857]

I actually knew that Congress was getting really bad. The way I knew that they were getting so bad is that they were taking more vacations than late night talk show hosts 😏. I'm not talking about you Steven. I'm just saying....

[@robingrogan7937]

Is that right you still have lead piping? We began to get rid of ours in the UK about 30 years ago!

[@ce7282]

They just need to make a dumpster on fire emoji. It would sum up everything.

[@AllUCanEatChurros]

I wonder when was the last time these "representatives" actually lived like the rest of us. Do they know how much groceries cost? Even eggs are double, but my checks remain the same. And it's NOT just eggs.

[@zaroffhound]

That shuffling pitter patter you hear is a pair of Sinemanchins in heat, dancing on the grave of decency. Hell, they're tapdancing & shouting 'look at me ma!', in the pale moonlight...

[@lshtar777]

How about a bill to prevent private businesses from being shut down?

[@ammaleslie509]

I call them Sinemanchin!!!

[@xanmontes8715]

"There are progressives that don't know where you are." "I'm in the Senate haha I'm so quirky rawr xD" "There are progressives in the Senate that don't know where you are." "Uhm, I'm in front of the elevator, duh UwU where's Daddy Manchin?" Good gods... I'm sorry America, you guys are doomed.

[@matthewkoch6937]

I groaned when I heard that. I'd simply tell her "Answer the question, you stupid woman!". Is she really such an airhead or is she deliberately blowing smoke?

[@peggypennington3270]

She thinks she's cute.

[@carissahowell]

I don't know why we expect Congress to do anything more than the bare minimum....

[@jasonq7504]

1:00 I’d like to have this alarm clock. ☝️😃

[@JK-vp2ux]

We need some dirt on those two "Democrats."

[@Anonymous-vd5yt]

The dancing woman and crying laughing bit was way too funny

[@DeVman70100]

What they call entitlement is called Human Rights in most advanced industrial countries.

[@KalleNoble]

Can't wait for Melting Face in The Emoji Movie 2

[@anthony7697]

No Steven - don't give them credit for even 'passing a bill' cause they didn't pass a bill - they passed a 'Continuing Resolution'. In this case along party lines basically saying 'we can't settle things and need more time'. More akin to a group project that's due, and when the teacher asks for it saying 'we voted and we have a new due date' or telling Johnny Kneecaps this time for sure he gets his money in a few weeks as long as he doesn't break your legs.

[@old-fashionedcoughypot]

She looks like Sean Spicer with a long hair wig on and glasses to make him look "smarter". 👀

[@igorschmidlapp6987]

Congress loves to play "Kick the Can"...

[@Smilley85]

Or "kick democracy in the can".

[@tucci007da]

Drummer: guy who hangs around musicians

[@kelador80]

My phone does suggest show after typing In Colbert. Not too bad sir!

[@RandallFlagg87]

"...are you the one who's lactose intolerant? I thought that was your sister...anyway just pull the cheese off..." lmfao

[@chibidevilchan5057]

9:15 MeltyFace for the Win

[@KrasusDumat]

Colbert sir this bill will damn us all and generations there after...

[@josephhandford6138]

£3.5 Trillion doesn't worry Colbert! Working class people will struggle to live having to pay it back. Borrowing that much money has NEVER worked.

[@airplanenut6242]

Come on now, clearly it’s Manchinema. 😁

[@alfajb]

doesnt the rock raise his eye brow 2? XD thats what ive always called it. the rock. never heard it called the colbert in my life

[@fademusic1980]

Stephen I have no idea how you left the melting emoji being Guliani joke on the table, especially with the bit coming after it

[@martinwettig8212]

Finally, a great political monologue again, the best in MONTHS.

[@billyhw5492]

You know, at the end of a long, hard, tiring day, I just want to sit back, relax, turn on late night and have them lecture be about budget reconciliation to an artificial laugh track.

[@traceybee1409]

America is a drama Queen

[@ShaniAce]

It's always baffling to me how the US can even have government shutdowns in the first place. That concept doesn't exist elsewhere.

[@theredshirtbrowncoat423]

Nooooo! Typing “Colbert” into my message was how I always found that emoji! Damn it...

[@The_R-n-I_Guy]

Sinema and Manchin:SIGN OR RESIGN!!!

[@mahair5382]

Just kidding that ship has sailed

[@tessaburkhamer3856]

My bet is on the clean pipes & water bill 👌 Also, there is a price for entitlement in the form of taxes! I'm from the state of WV & Manchin know's all about entitlement