Lisa Harnum Case Analysis | Balcony Homicide

This video answers the question: Can I analyze the case of Lisa Harnum?
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[@richardhart9204]

Ladies, the moment a man starts telling you what to wear, how to behave, who you can and cannot see etc - FLEE!

[@uniquegod1997]

ehhh, not a very intelligent comment, as women who watch Dr. Grande know this already, especially if they look in the comment section with useless comments like urs. What im trying to say is, if you make this Statement, then why dont you learn something about the lslam? Because the Man treat their wives or girlfriends like slaves. The sad thing is, it's not only happening in 3rd World countrys. Im living in Germany, I see it everyday and its in every country. Sure, some lslam women like to wear headscarf, but I've read studies thats saying in over 50% of cases women dont want it, but get forced too. You also arent allowed to divorce, you are basically allowed nothing. Any Input from you here that isnt like stated in the comments every 2nd time? Would be nice.

[@richardhart9204]

@@uniquegod1997 What, in the name of Jiminy Cricket, are you talking about?

[@uniquegod1997]

@@richardhart9204 okay, I was up for a little discussion but I think if you can't follow me on that easy topic/statement, we cant connect haha. Just open ur eyes and be more open minded and u see what I mean good luck

[@uniquegod1997]

@@cht2162 I do indeed question everything and tend to overthink, that's where also my depression come from. English is not my first language, Im from.europe, could u explain to me what u mean by "oldverb" and the meaning behind this & context to my comment? appreciate it very much, I do indeed understand what ur saying but only learning English since 10 years makes me miss many times the context

[@richardhart9204]

@@uniquegod1997 Rest assured, I have absolutely no intention of perceiving what you mean.

[@bthomson]

"Sometimes it's necessary to sacrifice politeness in order to protect one's life!".

[@sherryd.3425]

Yes. I always found it troubling as a young woman to know when to shove ingrained social boundaries aside and defend myself in "loud and distasteful" ways. Part of the problem that women have defending themselves spontaneously is that we mentally weigh up the pros and cons for doing so before reacting: If we yell or fight, will we endanger a child or another person, will we increase the physical risk to ourselves, will we lose an opportunity to slip away without harm. In order to respond aggressively to an attack, we have to have practiced that first in our minds. We have to know the moment when a final stand is necessary.

[@halilzelenka5813]

@@sherryd.3425 a final stand is necessary when someone is trying to force you into their car because they may be taking you to an alternate, private, crime scene. Usually, if someone is threatening you with a knife the smart thing to do is what they want. Unless that involves getting in their car. Better to get cut than to get taken to an alternate crime scene

[@sherryd.3425]

@@halilzelenka5813 Yes, but at some point in our internal dialouge, we have to have prepared ourselves for the line we won't cross no matter what. Long term abusers manipulate their victim's "final stand" setpoint over time. We don't all prepare ourselves adequately for those not so very uncommon events.

[@ladymonacoofthebluepacific2571]

@@halilzelenka5813 Exactly! In our internal dialog we decide the "hill we're willing to die on" and stick to it. Many have fought courageous and valiantly and lived to see another day. 😊

[@aniko7125]

@@sherryd.3425 yes. I find myself doing a lot of these calculations in my interactions with some guys. Part of the issue is, if you’re “rude” or dismissive, some men may become physically violent and you never know who will be that one. I’ve refused men’s numbers before and some have actually followed me and tried badgering me into taking it, stepping in front of me and blocking my exit. If someone is willing to do that, what else are they willing to do? I’ll always remember a few years ago here in NY the Tiarah Poyau case. At a parade some guy she didn’t know started grinding on her. She told him to “get off “ of her and shot her in the face.

[@AnimalsMatterMorally]

"A narcissist never does anything to build up their partner, it's always about tearing them down." The best takeaway from this crime and a succinct summary about what narcissists do, in a nutshell.

[@Dulcimertunes]

Meegain markle

[@kimsmith819]

Totally agree with you 👍

[@jackedkerouac4414]

What if both partners are narcissists?

[@deltahomicide9300]

@@coffeemom1229 Check out the Forensic Files episode 'Insignificant Others'. Guys like that Corbin a-hole makes my blood boil!

[@christinafidance340]

@@jackedkerouac4414 Then they more than likely wouldn’t choose to date each other!

[@lindanicola]

Simon, in my opinion, also knew Lisa was on her own in Australia with no family nor close friends from her hometown. This strengthened his control even more.

[@marys3127]

Yep. And often there is an age gap, the female being much younger than the abuser.

[@l.w.paradis2108]

It also gave her an escape route, very far away.

[@shannon8315]

He was supposed to be her flat mate, and she wanted to become an Australian citizen. He definitely took advantage of her being there alone.

[@MeloBurgers]

yes!!!!

[@armelleaymonin8907]

A tragic story. The fact that Lisa was a foreigner in Australia isolated her even more. She needed affection because she was alone abroad.

[@AMM3.]

Never announce your plans to leave a narcissist! Carefully plan an exit with a counselor, who can help you safely leave the relationship, inform the police of your situation, run and never look back!!

[@floraposteschild4184]

When people show you who they are -- BELIEVE THEM.

[@user-cs1un6sp1wRennata]

Exactly!

[@2manybooks2littletime25]

Yes! People will always tell you who they are. I met a seemingly nice man. We met for lunch. All was going well...until he said that he had a toolbox of torture devices in a shack behind his house. I got the hell out of that restaurant fast!!!

[@WinterReflections]

@@2manybooks2littletime25 I had a one night stand with a woman who had an old instructional visual paper with instructions on how to castrate a cow on her dresser... Noticed it after we were done and got out of there fast. She had no connection to farming or anything like that. It was too bizarre for me.

[@intentionallyqueen.478]

Say that!

[@bthomson]

On a date leave the blinders home!

[@marys3127]

I had neighbors across the street with a relationship like this one. I raised their four small kids for several months, as dad was abusing mom. He had groomed her from the age of 17, he was 30 at the time. Once I assisted her in divorcing his ass, he tried to run me off the road and called in false CPS reports on me, for revenge. These type of men are dangerous as can be....

[@bthomson]

And you, my dear, are a hero!👼💎

[@burntblonde2925]

She was so lucky to have your support

[@l.w.paradis2108]

@@cht2162 I'm so sorry.

[@garmtpug]

@@cht2162 You did the right thing for your Mom. I'm sorry you had to suffer because of that jerk. I hope you are doing better.

[@garmtpug]

@@cht2162 I wish you continued success in rebuilding your life. Stay strong and keep you mind on the positives and the people who love and care about you. Much of life just isn't fair, but don't let the past continue to keep a hold on you. Let it die as it should.

[@thelocalmaladroit8873]

I had a friend in a relationship like this. I remember once she went to the market for dinner with money he had given her. When she returned she had to give him the receipt and the change which he counted. It ended badly. She escaped with a friend’s help with only the clothes she was wearing. Aside from narcissistic , I believe he was also sadistic . Life is too short to live like this. Thanks Doc, you’re a bright light in a sometimes dark world ❤️

[@jen30551]

Glad your friend got out. Hope she got some good help. I also had a friend in a similar relationship. Once after getting off the phone with me, she found that he was hiding under the bed listening to our hour long conversation. She got out shortly after but her subsequent relationships were not much better. She is still chasing after a man we both know is trash. It was torture to watch so I had to distance myself. I told her I'm here if she ever needs me.

[@thelocalmaladroit8873]

@@jen30551 Thanks for sharing. Sounds like she may be attracted to abusive relationships.

[@amattes1960]

Thank God she had a friend. A lot of women in these situations have their friends scared off by their abusive partner.

[@CBrown86]

My ex asked for receipts too, even though I never bought anything extra or anything for myself. He only put exactly the amount in the account to cover past due bills and by the time he did the bills were past due again. It was a hellish existence

[@redsloane879]

So glad she escaped. 💜😢

[@jeremydyar7566]

Gets engaged: "I have found someone to serve me" What a catch

[@katiekarakondis3348]

It sure took her awhile to figure out that he was controling her{.!!!} was it the money? dont get it.

[@Yumicpcake]

@@katiekarakondis3348 he really worked on destroying her self esteem. It's not easy to understand for a mentally healthy individual but I myself dealt with a man who had constantly worked to convince me he was too good for me and I should feel lucky that someone would stay with me because I was no fun. It took 5 years for me to rise above it. It even affected my next relationship, I picked someone just as terrible. Being raised by a narcissistic single mother and not having a baseline for my dad's personality, I married my mom's narc tendencies in a man. I literally picked them because I didn't know about my mom until age 30 or how it affected my dating. Anyone can fall for a narcissist if they don't recognize the games they run.

[@CwasTB1]

... and the engagement is now over.

[@SjofnBM1989]

@@CwasTB1 Well that's a pretty grim way to put it.

[@JD-qd5zp]

@History - It would’ve taken me 15 minutes to decide not to get into that relationship.

[@angelac3788]

OF COURSE he was the "best boyfriend" ever. From my experience, narcs are AMAZING at first.

[@bcfeigful]

My narc was never amazing. He was lively and deceptively cheerful and good looking to boot, but all that meant nothing once he put his into me and never let go

[@bcfeigful]

once he put his claws into me . .

[@LauraLeeD]

That's because they 'love bomb' their victim in the beginning.

[@HavanaSyndrome69]

@@bcfeigful LOL I thought you meant dick or claws.

[@ronin_user]

This is really sad.

[@saradapagediocletian9707]

My ex-fiancee was a diagnosed narcissist. They are some of the most interesting people you will ever meet but they are always selfishly motivated and therefore they are always dangerous.

[@1tagardina612]

I saw myself in a toxic relationship and it's easier than one thinks to be a victim of a controlling person, despite of what it may seem.

[@simonw1313]

Definitely. The full scope of the toxicity only becomes apparent once you're out of the relationship and have time and space to reflect on it.

[@katherinepettit6585]

Same here - it is scary how well they can manipulate and how easy it is to fall for it. Once I have gone through it I can truly see and understand how it happens to people

[@MrVarhansen]

@@simonw1313 do they ever reflect? I got away from a narc girl last year. She's been telling people I abused her. She has texted me at least once a month since we broke up, for pictures of the dog we owned..Who tf texts someone that "abused" them. I'm not sure she ever reflected on how abusive she really was

[@l.w.paradis2108]

@@MrVarhansen If you are concerned that her conduct could harm your career or interfere with other friendships in a serious way, have a lawyer write her a letter. When people realize that there is a real world out there, separate from their obsessions, and that their behavior could cost them serious money, they stop. She is counting on other people not being involved and her story being just as believable as yours, or moreso. She thinks she has free rein, and that you have to be cautious. That's why she does this.

[@globes179]

Very true - a nice person who's never been acquainted with the behavioral warning signs or experienced first hand the narcissist's play style will automatically look within to see what they themselves are doing wrong.

[@nalanz4805]

Don’t pack. Just don’t return. It’s so horrible to know loads of people are in relationships like this ☹️ I feel sick

[@Island-lava]

So very sad!

[@LDiamondz]

Exactly. Just go! Your possessions can be replaced, but you can't!

[@sunspiral79]

That's very true..But a lot of women like being treated like shit

[@Mehki227]

Yep, go to work, leave early and split. Use cash.

[@joelle4226]

@@sunspiral79 no that’s not true.

[@Fliedermutter]

I met such a typ of human. I wanted my fairytale. Nearly killed me. It was in this days when I started to watch your channel. Looking out for knowledge about wtf was going on in my life. And... your channel served. Thats years ago. My life is good again. Still come back to warch your vids. Thank you, Dr. Grande.

[@bthomson]

Wow! Praise indeed!

[@christyjohnson5618]

Proud of u for getting out. Ive been trying for 3 years.

[@LDiamondz]

@@christyjohnson5618 Keep trying! Please get out of the relationship, even if you have to leave with just the shirt on your back. You know you deserve to be cherished. ❤❤

[@fluffgirl1000]

never put yourself in a position were you are dependant ..on someone else ..be your own person

[@morticiaheisenberg9679]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@anthonydunkley7844]

@@historyandhorseplaying7374 aren't you listening?

[@2manybooks2littletime25]

My now-late husband would weigh me every day. At 5' 7", if I weighed 105 lbs, he'd forbid me to eat until I lost that "extra" lb. Ladies, if your S.O. shows one controlling behavior, more are to follow. Get out before it's too late!! EDIT: There are controlling women as well. Men, I'm sorry that I left you out of my original statement.

[@ladyvictoria249]

My God… Hope you’re far away from him and doing better now. ❤️

[@sandracmyers]

@@ladyvictoria249 she said "late" husband. I have a late husband too, DEAD 💀💀😜

[@rayross997]

There are many psycho jerks like Simon out there. I hope this video saves some people from them.

[@saharalghamdi6473]

late husband? good riddance honestly hope you’re ok now❤️

[@bthomson]

Wow - unreal!

[@JayNa886]

When your partner started to tell you what to do, that's the time you must end the relationship. STAT!

[@itsjustnopinionok]

Well, if you walk out when your partner "started" to tell you what to do. You don't love them in the first place. Real relationships are built on sticking around past the first few dislikes. Red flags on when to leave are 1. The first hit up side the head. 2. When it becomes clear your no longer allowed to see or talk to your family. 3. When your asked to do something that is of serious criminal nature. Ect, ect. Not when someone "starts" telling you what to do. We all are guilty of doing that to each other in a relationship.

[@spoons250]

@@itsjustnopinionok Yea? Youed stop watching porn if your girl told you too? You said "first hit up side the dead" meaning you would stay if she spit in your face? What if your girl/woman told you she didnt like that guy you talk to at work, he gives her a bad feeling. Youed stop talking to him?

[@devin5891]

@@itsjustnopinionok hell nah nobody telling me to do shit I’d leave a wife and kids if she think she can tell me what to do

[@kingayy9267]

@Steven It's not necessary for anyone to put up with demanding behavior from a partner. They can certainly _request_ they modify their behavior but there's no reason to bark orders like a drill sergeant.

[@jamesmata2945]

Yeah but if yur messed up you dont really lnow better

[@ChristinePerez903]

Healthy relationships don’t put you down. They build you up!! Great video Dr Grande. Hope you had a great weekend!!!

[@jessitabonita]

Sad to realize that even when someone “builds me up,” I doubt that it’s genuine or that it’s just part of the love bombing of a narcissist since I’ve been abandoned by parents and then a last roommate who were so good at “building others up” only to then discard completely the moment any disagreement happened.

[@ChristinePerez903]

@@jessitabonita sorry that happen to you. You deserved to be loved truly!!

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

“Sometimes it’s necessary to sacrifice politeness in order to save someone’s life.”- That’s an excellent point. The moment of exiting relationships as such must be dealt with tremendous caution because that’s the most dangerous moment, when the risk of death is very much real. Excellent analysis Dr. Grande, thank you!❤️

[@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188]

Honestly, this is something that should be taught to kids in kindergarten. Especially to young girls. Sometimes being inpolite can safe a life.

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

@@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188 I agree. We are always taught to be kind and nice, but certainly that may not always be helpful.

[@bthomson]

Ladies it's "taught" 👩‍🎓

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

@@bthomson Thanks!😉

[@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188]

@@bthomson shit, sorry. Not a native speaker 😅

[@davealaya]

I am not diagnosing that Dr. Grande made a typo on the title of this video, only speculating as to the correct spelling in a case like this.

[@alimar0604]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🇬🇧

[@christyjohnson5618]

Good one

[@CBrown86]

Being afraid of your partner is one of the worst feelings in the world. Even when you get away things dont get easier they can actually get harder. I left my ex and he continues to try to get into my accounts and tried to trick me into installing a keylogger on my phone. We have a child together which he has never done much to care for and hes now using her as leverage to get what he wants. Being with an abuser is hell but this is why you don’t ever tell a victim “why dont you just leave”. Its never that easy

[@slyb7193]

I'm sorry, sweetheart.. sending you a hug ❤

[@dinabernal3076]

Please take care of yourself 🙏❤️

[@meganh4011]

It's like reading my own life. It has gotten way better since he got a new girlfriend. But when they break up he always calls me and tries to start crap. Be strong be independent and make sure everything goes through the legal system and that you document everything! Take a picture of everything bills paid everything! Sending you a virtual hug and good vibes out into the world

[@marys3127]

I am hoping his behavior will ease, over time. My ex relaxed a bit over time, as our sons aged.

[@Deb501]

Sounds like a narcissist. Not diagnosing, just an observation. I’m sorry you are going through such chaos. Hugs.

[@CatFamOfficial]

Can you please make a video covering tips and strategies to become more assertive without being rude? For example if someone grew up with a narcissist and is now in recovery how do they go about changing the habit of being a people pleaser. Thank you for all that you do!

[@did4196]

There is a youtube channel that speaks specifically about this. The creator is a woman who was a child of narcissist. You might want to search under “ surviving narcissism” or something like that. She is amazing and has great tools to help survivors. I’m sorry i can’t remember the name of the channel.

[@wintercomesearly]

@@did4196 Live Abuse Free?

[@did4196]

@@wintercomesearly yes, that’s the name. Thank you! LIVE ABUSE FREE, is the name of the channel.

[@sararivz668]

Just be “rude” it’s called having boundaries. If someone is trying to violate those boundaries…. Being polite is the least of your worries.

[@goodenoughgirl8102]

Sometimes polite just isn’t possible. I’d say it’s pretty dang rude of them also to be trying to devalue or control us. The only language understood by rude cretins is a harsh smack down (or leverage if you have any).

[@Mr.Jeff_356]

I love how you actually unquoted the quote. Most people just state "quote" and never bother to unquote the quote so the listener knows that you're no longer using another's words. Bravo, Mr Grande.

[@zenawarrior7442]

Narcs are so scary. He looked alot older adding to the power dynamic. Terrible death for her😞😠Thanks Dr G😊❤💜

[@rosiesummer2711]

The footage of her almost getting out of the apartment and him pulling her back, haunts me. Poor Lisa. I wonder why no neighbors intervened? It is obvious there is sounds of distress and no one came by. It happens a lot in domestic situations when one partner is being attacked by the other, it is rare for a neighbor or even a passer by to call for help.

[@mygirldarby]

People often don't want to help. They would rather ignore it and pretend it doesn't concern them.

[@francesbernard2445]

I called police once for a neighbor's teenage daughter who was being attacked by her boyfriend while her mother was out. Her mother thanked me saying that it may have saved her life. Not long after guess which young man a lot younger than me showed up once day just to sit on the front step next door with a cigarette so he could say hi to me with a cold stare? I only pretended to be a bit flattered by his attention and not the least bit alarmed at all and that worked like a charm because I never saw him again.

[@rosiesummer2711]

@@francesbernard2445 Thank you Frances.

[@jo-annebotha9609]

Frequently in domestic abuse situations the victim does not want others' help - witness the recanting of evidence and withdrawing of charges in such cases. People have to want to help themselves first and welcome this kind of support or assistance for it to be any use.

[@scallopohare9431]

I have called repeatedly. Both apartments were just above the entrance to the building, so they could see the police car arrive. When the officer got upstairs, they claimed nothing was wrong. This went on for over a year.

[@joanrankin2827]

The lessons from this story are so important. I'm certain that this video will save someone living in this type of relationship.

[@Mountlougallops]

We need to have narcissism and trauma bonding in our mental health vocabulary Thanks again Dr Grande. This is life saving information through one more real life example. 🤍🕊👍🏼🙏🏽

[@EricDodsonLectures]

How is it that this guy gets only 18 years? Is that all Lisa Harnum's life was worth?

[@CowboyBike06]

Australia. Isn’t it?

[@lowelllarsen5947]

Society’s current values

[@gggg-vg4vj]

they usually get zero years in AU

[@katherinepettit6585]

I know right it's so messed up at least he got jail time some people get out free

[@smithpatricemary]

Thats a long sentence in Australia. Generally men who commit crimes like this get parolled after 18 months, if indeed found guilty at all... :-(

[@Kat-jp6iy]

This story sent a shiver down my spine. Ladies, if a man is controlling you, it's not because they love you; it's because they're treating you like their property. Please leave before it's too late to leave. Another solid video by Dr. Grande! ❤️

[@QueenOfSh3ba]

Dr Grande - you questioned why Rachel stayed with Simon when on trial for murder - as someone who has bounced from one abusive relationship to another, ‘insecurity’ is the reason I stayed/attracted abusers. It wasn’t Lisa or Rachel’s fault, narcissists will always seek the vulnerable. I so happy Rachel had, and took, the opportunity to leave the relationship. Narcissists are the things of nightmares, Freddie Kruger is a walk in the park compared to a narcissist.

[@alonetonight]

A point of interest here - Rachelle was actually the one who *introduced* Simon to Lisa originally.

[@MsSilverTulip]

And don't forget how charming narcs can be, how good at lying and the LOVE BOMBING!

[@HeatherHolt]

@@alonetonight oh my gosh … that makes it even stranger

[@alonetonight]

@@HeatherHolt Yeah, in many ways Simon wasn’t the only bad thing that happened to Lisa. Being friends with Rachelle did not help her one bit.

[@icturner23]

Get serious. It’s one thing to be conned by a narcissist that you don’t know anything about, but by choosing to be with someone she knew had been charged with throwing someone off a balcony, it very much *was* Rachelle’s fault.

[@unpopulardollsdontreadrepl8453]

I also escaped from a narc...by manipulating him and dumping him once I was far away from him...the lesson is : yes don't manipulate ppl to harm them but with evil creatures like narcs, yes play the same game.

[@angeleyes3396]

Trick is you can never play the “same game” as Narcs but you do need to be calculating and find your exit. I need to make that clarification because some may think they can manipulate a Narc to stay and act right (I know that’s not what you meant as you escaped but for others). That’s never the case; you’ll just be playing into their web.

[@Deb501]

Playing their game is a risk. They are better at it than you will ever be. How many people could say they are better at being a monster than the monster is? You were specifically picked because you could never be better at it. That being said, they’re playing chess with you but use patterned moves that don’t change. Once you know the patterns, you can predict their next move and do a risk assessment accordingly. Accepting the kind of relationship you’re in is required to gain the insight you need to get out. They hide it deliberately to keep you blind. Once you’re not and they know you know? It just gets worse. They wear a mask to keep you and you must wear one too until the day after you left.

[@LDiamondz]

@@Deb501 Excellent comment. I wish I knew these things years ago. Dr. Grande and his subscribers, are helping a lot of people. Even if they don't know it. ❤

[@mattzgtr]

I completely resonate with this comment..it’s awful but you have to do whatever you can to get out and be safe.

[@QCDoggies]

As a U.S. citizen, I'm always blown away at the paltry sentencing in other countries' murder convictions

[@francesbernard2445]

Really? So not only just in France? -Good news.

[@judepower4425]

As an Australian, I'm shocked at his short sentence

[@infinitejest441]

As a Martian, I am perplexed by the diminished sentence 👽

[@elizabethminogue9784]

It would seem paltry when we don't hand out 100 year gaol sentences or the death penalty. We are a little more nuanced and civilised here.

[@QCDoggies]

@@elizabethminogue9784 if it were your family member murdered, I take it you'd be fine with a ten year sentence?

[@June4ever]

I love your videos, always informative and get insight...but I must say, this time I have learned my lesson. I am 3:17 into the video and almost spit my drink out...your deadpan humor is top ranked. 10/10 Dr. Grande....Good way to mix humor with these serious topics.

[@bthomson]

My take is that he is very careful NOT to overdue the comic relief! Some seem to find it distasteful in some instances but I have not found that to be true.

[@bthomson]

As in "We rate dogs" (if you don't know this channel - you should!!), why limit his score to 10/10. I think he is a14/10!

[@Lisared023]

His comedic timing is masterful!

[@June4ever]

@@bthomson I agree, he is for sure 100! I don't find his humor distasteful at all, we all need a little laughter, even in serious situations...thank for the channel rec!

[@June4ever]

@@Lisared023 it is!

[@slurpydurp7242]

Congratulations for 777000 subscribers! I guess you’re far more popular than other psychologists on KZbin because you’re probably the least annoying youtuber. Lots of people like to listen to your soothing and calm voice. It also seems like you don’t try to look happier or more exciting than you are which is also relaxing. Keep going, you’re doing great! Lots of love ♥️

[@maureeningleston1501]

Absolutely horrific...............what boggles my mind as much as the murder, is the fact he had a "NEW GIRLFRIEND"....she can't be right in the head !!!

[@christinelee4780]

Well as Dr. Grande asked what positive attribute could outweigh throwing someone to their death from a 15 storey balcony? We will never know. I can tell you something else about how misguided this Rachel girl was about her boyfriend. During the trial she took notes, and after the guilty verdict she tried to find dirt on the prosecutor, Mark Tedeschi QC to discredit him. Bear in mind that Mark prosecuted numerous cases like this and had an impressive conviction rate. And that silly woman really thought that she was going discredit an accomplished prosecutor and set her boyfriend free.

[@ED80s]

And she knew Lisa as well. She must have witnessed his behaviour towards Lisa yet decides to date him and defend him. She had excuse after excuse defending him.

[@chooseyourpoison5105]

@@christinelee4780 Well, this is the same woman who declared she was going to go to law school, become a lawyer and free Simon despite having the IQ of a potato, so reality obviously isn't her strong point. Mind you, Simon was the same - he genuinely thought he would have no problem outsmarting Judge Lucy McCallum, despite the fact that she's a QC and one of the finest legal minds in the country. That's one of the characteristics of sociopaths - they believe themselves to be superior to others despite abundant evidence to the contrary.

[@StarlahMutiny]

I am caught up on all the podcast episodes 👍 and here I am for my daily Dr Grande dose and the Crafty Cactus bar and grille on the right hand tabletop! 🙌🙌

[@rosedalinevaletine6931]

Public proposals scare me. If my future partner were to ever disregard this fear of mine and do anything that’s a huge public debacle, he’s going to be left alone and embarrassed. It feels manipulative🤔🥲

[@CowboyBike06]

I’d never thought of this before, you might be onto something. (I’m old school so this wasn’t a thing back then in most cases)

[@veronicabryant2646]

It’s coercive, like you must say yes or fear the consequences!

[@CowboyBike06]

@@veronicabryant2646 exactly! Oh, I get it. I hope you don’t have to endure that. Just warn potential serious suitors, should that occur, you will say No, based on principle. 😉

[@garmtpug]

It's extremely manipulative! It puts the person in an awkward and embarrassing position. And it's as if the other person is certain that you won't say no. It is a power position. He would be pushing you into something you may not want to do. I feel that a marriage proposal is a very personal thing between only two people - not the rest of the world!

[@CowboyBike06]

@@garmtpug You young women are a breath of fresh air in the stale and sad old Chapel of matrimony. Our future is assured. Thank you!

[@DonPeyote420]

I suspect the thing that pissed him off the most was not that Lisa was leaving him but that she went behind his back to consult with the professionals on her situation. In his eyes, she became a snitch, a potential threat to his freedom.

[@SarahDunlap]

The surveillance video of him trying to clean up afterwards made me sick. So twisted. Glad you got this one out there Dr G.

[@lusomarga]

When will psychologists address that certain cultures intentionally breed narcissism in men?? Middle East, Asia? The whole honour-based cultures? Men literally are EXPECTED to behave in the ways that are described in the West as 'narcissism'.

[@marys3127]

And women in some cultures hold down their daughters and cut off their clitoris. Sorry to be graphic, but we must break through such barbaric thinking.

[@seriouslyjoking2]

@@marys3127 When abuse is rooted in religion & in a culture, one accepts it as normal.

[@zenawarrior7442]

It's been a male dominated world too long. Females need more power. So glad I don't live in some of those countries.

[@girlwhomustnotbenamed4139]

@@seriouslyjoking2 It is always rooted in those. Even in cases when we can't see the direct connection, religion is single-handedly responsible for canonising and fossilising primitive, narcissisitic, abusive narratives that still govern so much of our lives in the 21st century bc it's passed down through generations as literal programming and brainwashing from day 1 of everyone's existence. And that's all around the world, not just in those countries. That's how we end up with a culture of toxic narcissism that serves no one but is especially dangerous for women and other groups that differ from the dominant one.

[@amattes1960]

Because it's unhelpful. Think about how narcissism operates and you'll realise that narcissists are often projecting their own faults onto others in another group. That is how witch-hunting operates. It's how lynching operates. It's how racism operates. And believe me, as a white Australian woman I have met many WASP men and boys who are narcissistic. "Be the change you want to see in the world" isn't just for individuals but cultural groups as well.

[@georgehart8879]

We need a lot more judges in this country like the judge that found Simon guilty.

[@Moodboard39]

Okay, than what she supposed to do ??? I see a lot of outcome of the situation but never a definitive answer to a solution ?? That's why society , and the justice system is flawed to the T! Having these people out back in society! He was a criminal already and he back out !!! Alot of courts and lawmakers have no psychology knowledge of the danger of narcissistic, psychopath people in society !!! That's why there a lot of problems in the world ... It's a repeat circle , more victims , more death ! The people in power are responsible!!!!

[@lanafelix8649]

Always informative 👏👏

[@bthomson]

And fun!

[@reythejediladyviajakku6078]

Another case of a man who was never made to understand healthy relationship behavior.

[@Moodboard39]

Okay, than what she supposed to do ??? I see a lot of outcome of the situation but never a definitive answer to a solution ?? That's why society , and the justice system is flawed to the T! Having these people out back in society! He was a criminal already and he back out !!! Alot of courts and lawmakers have no psychology knowledge of the danger of narcissistic, psychopath people in society !!! That's why there a lot of problems in the world ... It's a repeat circle , more victims , more death ! The people in power are responsible!!!!

[@stevehorner4265]

If I told my wife, what she could and could not wear? I'd be wearing a slapped face haha

[@lymarie1974]

Shoe importer...that's a job I've never heard before. First red flag, quite your job because of the people ( I guess no class or working class people) Second, pulling you away from your support system family or friends. As always thank you Dr. Grande.

[@JiveDadson]

I had a neighbor who was a shoe importer.

[@bthomson]

I have some shoes.👠👡👢👟👞

[@skapsius]

I am waiting for 800 so much!!! ❤️

[@bthomson]

It won't be long!

[@PinePrince]

I had a girlfriend do this to me over a 2 year period except she didn’t throw me off a balcony. Not that she didn’t try. Thank goodness I got away and now I’m happily married to a very sane woman. Lol

[@christyjohnson5618]

Congrats on getting out of that abusive relationship. Proud of u and thank you so much for sharing. I hate to see men shamed for speaking about abusive women. Come on now, we all know that physically a man would hurt a woman fighting. But who wants to fight?

[@PinePrince]

@@christyjohnson5618 Thank you. Yes it happened slowly over time and before I knew it I was trapped like a rat . I wasn’t allowed to talk to any female or go anywhere without her. Constantly being accused of cheating( which I never EVER did) while she was cheating with several different guys. I wasn’t even allowed to talk to family. She would park around the corner and watch to make sure no one came to see me. She was constantly mentally and emotionally abusive to me in addition to the physical abuse. I had to turn over every paycheck to her or she would threaten to hit herself and call the police to say I hit her. I couldn’t even look in the direction of a female( even in the grocery store) or drive next to a car with a female without being accused of screwing them. She would always show up and and sit outside my work all day. It even got where she was accusing me of flirting with men if I was polite or made eye contact with like a male waiter at a restaurant. I wasn’t allowed to wear anything that showed my body like a sleeveless shirt or tank top. She would wake me up at like 2 in the morning to fight about random things that had happened months before. So thankful to get out alive. It took a long time but I finally got out. Thanks again for your comment . Have a great day!

[@ED80s]

Never tell them you are leaving and never leave in their presence.

[@TheTam0613]

I wish I could have known this girl, as a friend, since she didn't seem to notice that her guy is throwing BAD stuff at her to trap and control and eventually kill her. Thank you Dr. Grande

[@alexandervelez9507]

this reminds me so much of the phoebe handsjuk case which also happened in australia. she mysteriously ended up going down a 7 floor garbage chute while still alive, and according to her loved ones her boyfriend was just as controlling as lisa’s. phoebe’s death was ruled a suicide although so much evidence points to someone throwing her down the chute.

[@samthegroce1584]

Controlling people ≠ people who deserve your time

[@user-cs1un6sp1wRennata]

Another great analysis ... Thank You Dr. Grande

[@dianamarie5663]

I think you said in past videos that you have experience counseling domestic violence victims. In light of that I find your analysis very credible. Gaslighting keeps vulnerable persons in these relationships.

[@CowboyBike06]

Any one of his comments would send me packing. A luxury address is not worth it if you have to endure abuse of any kind. I’m glad she was trying to escape him, however, that can be the most dangerous time for victims, sadly. Holy cow, young ladies, value yourselves! Set up deal breakers. Also, money is not the end all. If you want wealth, create your own.

[@LDiamondz]

It's not really about the money in these relationships. It's easy to fall for a narc. They put on a good face in the beginning. Then the abuse starts. You feel like you can't get out. You're stuck. Happens in every income bracket. Just as many men, maybe even more men, fall for narcissists. They are very charming and fun, at the beginning.

[@CowboyBike06]

@@LDiamondz - I married a narcissist. I left immediately after the insults started. I’m just different, maybe? I have a low tolerance for BS. I know who I am.

[@LDiamondz]

@@CowboyBike06 I think you have your answer right there. You don't put up with any BS, from the start. That is such a useful trait when dealing with a narcissist. Once the BS starts, you leave. You should start your own channel. No BS. You'd first have to teach people how to spot the bs. All narc's have different manipulation tactics, to 'fit' their particular prey. You really made wrote a great comment! Even if you might not know it. Cheers! 🍻

[@bomboatomico4563]

I didn't realize this was a new video, great stuff.

[@brandonmuse5532]

The last sentence in this video is really life wisdom for everyone who is in an abusive relationship. You have no idea what that person might do if you announce you are leaving. 💯💯💯

[@saharalghamdi6473]

thank you for this Dr.Grande

[@Jay-n262]

She wanted him because he had allot of money. How many times have we heard that one!

[@BB-dy6iu]

OMG!!!! Thank you Dr. Grande!! Thank you. I asked for this case. You’re the BEST!!! Thank you!!! 😊😊😊😊

[@cottontails9003]

Good afternoon Dr Grande. Excellent analysis as always. Thank you Dr Grande.

[@edwardabdel5693]

Good one Senior Grande

[@barquerojuancarlos7253]

"amor", love is not the same as "enamorada", enamored, smitten, charmed, infatuated, besotted (irrational passion for someone or something)

[@dj-dq4lr]

Amen.

[@icturner23]

Well, of course a noun is not the same as an adjective.

[@melstiller8561]

Every time your instincts tell you that something doesn't look right, believe your gut over what your eyes see or how your emotional self behaves.

[@laurenwilson2145]

Great video Dr. Grande.

[@Thundersnowy]

What positive attribute outweighs murder? No positive attribute outweighs ANY of these behaviors. We all need to learn this lesson. Abuse of any kind, get out sooner rather than later. If you possibly can.

[@sithilous]

I don't need to learn this lesson. I'm not an idiot like Rachel.

[@seriouslyjoking2]

@@sithilous Rachel was not an idiot. She was manipulated by one of the best manipulators out there...a Narcissist. You think you are smart? YOU think you can't be manipulated? I am RFLMAO...you haven't met a Narcissist. They will make you believe the earth is flat.

[@sithilous]

@@seriouslyjoking2 do you even know which one Rachel is in this story? She's the one that started dating the guy after hes on trial for murder of his last GF. She's an idiot.

[@brendaleverick3655]

I enjoy your insightful analysis of various cases.

[@bthomson]

And cacti placement!

[@kingayy9267]

@Bruce Thomson Very good *point;* that's one of the most important components of Dr. Grande's videos. You're a *sharp* guy, Bruce!

[@NovemberRain007]

Informative analysis, Dr. G. I appreciate your compassion towards Ms. Lisa on such a horrific case 😢. I hope Simon never has a good day for the rest of his life, EVER! And I hope that the prisoners and guards pay him the karma that he deserves.

[@jackiemarsh2470]

Dr. Your Video's are Always Outstanding!! Thank You Sooo Much!!!

[@theprotector1234567]

Balconies in that part of the world are apparently pretty popular for murder

[@bthomson]

That's a "highly" "out there" "airy" " elevated" comment!

[@johno9507]

7:15 "What positive attributes could he have?" ...MONEY! It's all some people care about in a partner.

[@LDiamondz]

Thank you for this video, Dr. Grande. You and your subscribers who comment, are helping people every day by educating them. Not everyone knows what to look for, or _look out_ for, in a relationship. This channel should be mandatory viewing for anyone over 12. Thanks. ❤

[@karl6337]

I lived in Sydney when this happened, very sad situation.

[@marijuanapuffs]

Anyone here remember the movie SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY?

[@ladycake1515]

07:23 Rachel said Simon was the best boyfriend . What kind of person did she date before him? That sounds really scary to me.

[@EricDodsonLectures]

He was probably being Prince Charming, so that he'd have her as a possible character witness... "See? I'm not so bad after all... blah, blah, blah."

[@cl5470]

She said it because if she didn't, he'd be emotionally abusive. We all have that one friend on social media who gushes on and on about their partner. It's a red flag that the partner is abusive and requires massive amounts of admiration and praise. Happy couples don't talk about each other online or if they do, they are playful.

[@baritony8763]

I'm glad I found your channel; I really like your videos,so interesting.

[@Ali-kb8gr]

Thank you Dr Grande, you made some excellent and important points.

[@prant8998]

My first thought was that she should have watched some youtube videos on how to leave a malicious controlling abusive narcissist. She, also assumed she had some privacy in her outside communications, and of course, she had none. He was always one step ahead of her. Clearly, secrecy is paramount, assume they know everything. She had to carefully plan, probably leave the country, and do it all abruptly. She probably was thinking that on the way down.

[@dadufantina]

This case reminds me of Phoebe Handsjuk's tragic fate. May their souls rest in peace.

[@adianezfernandez34]

Great video thanks 😊

[@autumnedwards4448]

Some very excellent observations in this one Dr Grande! I love that last line about sacrificing politeness to save one's life. So very true. Thank you for your analysis doc!💙💙

[@Autumn_Forest_]

Aww, her birthday would have been tomorrow. It’s also the birthday of one of my naked cats. He’s a typical cancer - very sweet and home-loving.

[@MSlushalot]

777,000 subscribers Doctor Grande. 👍🏼 🎰

[@alicesmith7913]

When you're in a one-sided relationship with a Narcissist, your attention has to be totally focused on them. They believe they should be constantly praised, no matter how undeserving. You are nothing more than a source of supply for them.

[@angiedixon8017]

Excellent advice Dr.

[@pembrokelove]

I would love to see Dr. G do the Phoebe Handsjuk case. Theres a worrying number of “suicide falls” of women being abused in Australia.

[@kailuabear2754]

Very interesting. Dr. Todd can you please consider doing a study on Clara Harris? They lived in Friendswood, Texas, but huge high profile case in Houston that is still talked about today. I would really appreciate your analysis on her case. Thank you. Kind regards, Collette

[@blakesexton2092]

Keep it up doc. Love the original content

[@CwasTB1]

Excellent video ! I will probably comment more later, but worth sneaking this praise in now.

[@bthomson]

👟👟👟

[@CwasTB1]

@@bthomson It was 118F = so "running" inside of a car, with a running a/c ! :-D

[@martinsloan9785]

Single people, rejoice and enjoy life.

[@QCDoggies]

Yay, I am doing just that!

[@Pimpernella]

I suggest anyone having second thoughts about their partner, they look at the pictures of them together. When you're the only one smiling, I'ld recommend carrying a parachute on you person. It will serve you much better than a purse, if you should ever be mistaken for a large suitcase and you find yourself taking the shortcut down unexpectedly. That man creeps me out with his cold and calculating eyes, I'm thinking of taking a few lessons right away. The new shirts are getting you the results we're all looking out for, Dr Grande, love the way your mind works, haha. Have a good night, all. ✌️🙌🤩

[@user-fu1nw7kh2h]

Great insight !

[@LDiamondz]

Good comment. Also, if you're the only one in the pictures NOT smiling, that tells you something, too!

[@Nan-Elle]

I also thought his eyes had a "vacant" look.

[@emmyrose1802]

Great video

[@collettedobrocke5585]

Excellent as usual...

[@brianpratt3224]

Kind of puts that 50 shades crude into perspective.

[@loopsruby]

No comparison......

[@feeltheillinois]

min, 18 yrs? so he can be out before hes 60 and have another 25 years of life free. if he took a life i dont understand why he is not imprisoned for life

[@Oona707]

Thank you for the reminder 😥💔

[@TheMsdmeanor]

Thank you Dr. Grande 💐

[@kenhaze5230]

"Homicde" Thanks Doc. With 24 hours until my dissertation manuscript is due, I realize only now that quality work can survive trivial typos. We'll extrapolate that out to "innumerable, potentially nontrivial typos" in my case in an effort to keep the optimism component of extraversion up.

[@bthomson]

Say what? PhD here you come!

[@CowboyBike06]

Good luck, Dr. Haze! (Any relation to Chet Haze? 😂)

[@sherryd.3425]

Let us know! How fabulous! Congrats on seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

[@keonie]

PhD Student here with 2 years to go. Congratulations Dr Haze, onwards and upwards.

[@JennRighter]

Hello, Dr. Grande.

[@killbill9035]

Great analysis

[@bankleaks1217]

I can imagine dragon your analysis nuts on my face. Good job Dr. GRANDE