Looting, Girl Scout Cookies, Fake Airpods + more - Thalia Hall - Josh Johnson - Standup Comedy

Come see me live:
July 3 Calgary, AB bit.ly/4ehz2hM
Sept 13-15 Ontario, Calif. bit.ly/4bFwkRo
Sept 19-21 Phoenix, AZ bit.ly/4agm7JP
Check out joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for more dates!
Hey Friends, wanted to share part of my sold out show at Thalia Hall a few weeks ago. Share your thoughts with me in the comments.
If you love my stories I have a podcast that comes out every week: bit.ly/3NQmpio
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Drop a comment if you loved or hated the set, and especially if you're unsure. Subscribe for more. Thanks for being my friends!

[@JoshJohnsonComedy]

Hi Friends!! Subscribe if you’re not and Thanks for watching.I wanted to let you know that the first run of my 2024 tour is on sale now. www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for tix.

[@TopLob]

The new king!

[@anthonystafford8099]

Excited every time I see a new set posted. Great work, thanks for the laughs.

[@thebender3118]

Can you please come to Vegas?

[@karenhaid6397]

MORE PLEASE! You make me laugh! Thanks

[@doreendgulley]

On the 2nd or 2rd run could you come to Philly?

[@Jen_Wick]

I continue to be impressed by Josh's ability to push out these fresh comedic sets week after week. It never feels like he needs to sit and write jokes - he's just genuinely funny.

[@elenawilliams32]

That's the genius with his ability to make us laugh. He makes it feel like he's our funny friend telling us hilarious stories. I'm very sure that he's honed his skills and experience over many years yet would still be writing and performing his jokes non stop to keep his style and quality of work 100%. I agree with you, I'm impressed by Josh too. Take care.

[@VictoriaSobocki]

Yup

[@TheBrob1983]

And he writes for tv dude is amazing

[@aud9851]

I bet he got used to writing weekly jokes for the tonight show and later was like, why don’t I just do this for myself?

[@Findmeagainsomeday]

Handsome too.

[@NateReadsDiversely]

As a former girl scout from New York, I'm not surprised that that little girl was as vicious as she was.

[@deannawoolfolk4562]

Cookie season is the biggest Girl Scout hustle 😂

[@justinauyeung1290]

Ran into Cindy McPhearson.

[@datronhicks7928]

Cuz you’re from New York 😂

[@raquelalmeida9002]

He should have either walked away or take a few big bank notes out of his pocket, showed them to her, said "I bet your cookies are delicious, I'm gonna buy the whole batch from the next one I see....", put the money back and walk away...

[@shayboogie3682]

@@raquelalmeida9002- I guarantee He will do this when he fully transforms into “Angry old man” - right now, he’s in his angry chrysalis 😅😅😅😅

[@elizabethclairewolfrosenda3391]

"This man looted himself $7000 into Rabbit medical debt" 😆😂🤣

[@Bright_Broccoli]

I am glad the looter friend has been taking care of his new pet bunny.

[@eintheoverlord4997]

Josh Johnson's uncanny ability to produce fresh materials every week---while concurrently being a writer for the Daily Show---is astounding.

[@VictoriaSobocki]

Amazing

[@Yodalemos]

Damn... he writes for the Daily Show? That kinda makes me lose respect for him a little ngl.

[@nessax5136]

@@Yodalemoswhy? A job is a job, and it’s tough out there for creatives. Josh is super talented but it takes years to hone your craft, even longer to get to a position where you can work for yourself. I for one am glad he gets to get paid while he perfects his craft

[@Yodalemos]

@@nessax5136 its just that the Daily Show is so lame compared to his own comedy.

[@recklessmermaid]

@@Yodalemosright so he can save the good stuff for us online ❤️‍🔥

[@brittanym.1278]

I’m so happy that I was able to be there. I got to meet Josh and he is so kind!🤩 See him live anytime you can!🤗

[@octiiXpies]

THE CHAIR

[@intothefire3680]

Jealous!

[@bibbcountybaby]

aww i bet tht was such a treat!!! happy for u and cant wait until i get to see him live

[@s.g.187]

Tickets are 275 in my town😢

[@octiiXpies]

@@s.g.187 ?!?!?!?!! ours weren't that expensive :o i think i paid like $90 after taxes and fees for 2 tickets

[@graysondagent7721]

dude after Josh said 'Earussy', and that one chick shouted 'EEEEWWWWWW' fucking sent me omg

[@dudeivealreadydonethis5tim289]

I was like what did he just say? Lol😂

[@peytongonavy]

I think I heard multiple chicks all at once 😂😂😂

[@theanonymoushelpline7248]

I was at this show! The tickets were soooo cheap for us and he did a free meet and greet and he met everyone! Literally the nicest kindest most humble and down to earth guy ever! He’s a national treasure fr. Bless his heart for all that he give his supporters. He’s the only one who really treat us like friends and people. That takes heart JJ. I love this dude!

[@elisa0329]

"No... No... You need to be on MY side... Hear me out..." 😂

[@shellybear627]

When he said "I don't hate all kids. I have beef with like 4 kids" i absolutely fell in love with this man 🤣

[@kairos-049]

Tbh if a girl scout called me broke I’d just be like “yeah thanks for understanding sis maybe next week”

[@MsJMHS]

"Little girl, I can't afford your sub-par cookies with all this inflation." 😂

[@giggles1219]

😂😂😂​@@MsJMHS

[@tareapayton7549]

Exactly 😂

[@laurenm3148]

"No, no, you need to be on my side." "Working her corners." Classic already.

[@mandeanraje2300]

Ear eussy is freaking wild 😂😂😂

[@peterfazio9306]

"You just want me to go up these steps raw." 😂😂😂

[@SugarHigh7278]

Had my alarm set for this. Took a nap, woke up grumpy. 13 minutes later I'm sitting here giggling. Thanks Josh!

[@carmen3091]

Wholesome

[@naywahn]

Was...was a rabbit involved?

[@gingerhitzke9185]

I have never heard you tell the same joke twice and I listen to you on youtube A LOT.

[@professordracula]

This man has the quickest mind in comedy. Brilliant stuff.

[@nitamckeethen6986]

Josh is so prolific. His material just keeps coming. He can make anything funny.

[@LittleSailboat]

That little girl scout was SMART. She was waiting for you to turn around and be like "Would someone who is poor have several 20s in their wallet." and she'd be like "Perfect! A box of cookies is 20 dollars!"

[@robertmarley8852]

That's cunning ....not smart

[@HellaGust]

​@@robertmarley8852 A wise man once said "Cunning is just bad smart." Bad as in evil or mean. Pretty sure cunning is a subtype of smart. However since her approach didn't work I'm not sure how smart or cunning it actually was. Maybe she was just being an awful little kid.

[@Shewas-kathybates]

But who would want to buy from her after that dig? You’d take your money elsewhere. What about that is smart 😂

[@cela9852]

​@@robertmarley8852I'm yet to meet a cunning person that isnt smart especially street smart. They pretty much go hand in hand.

[@kissit012]

@@robertmarley8852cunning is synonymous with smart. Good try

[@kathybell6268]

Josh's observations have the quality of George Carlin's. Taking common experiences like a Girl Scout cookie table and makes it hysterical! Thanks for the joy you put into the world!

[@queenreg7]

Loved George Carlin. Yes, I see the resemblance in his observations.

[@Nunya_Bidnez]

Old folks get angry because they see how things could be better. You get sick of it after 50 Years of this. I love this bit.

[@jennifercook6497]

😂😂False. If they see how things could be better, they wouldn't have ruined them from the beginning. Every single generation has had it's downfall and it's all thanks to the previous one. But yeah, old people see how things could be better and THEY are the ones sick of it!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@hadrianhexe9603]

@@jennifercook6497 Exactly, old folks are angry because people don't like change and also, people get angry when they see that people didn't struggle how they did, regardless of whether it's right and regardless of whether or not the new generation has different struggles. It's why they can big and bold say 'when i was your age i had to do this and this', ignoring the fact that a child shouldn't have had gone through what they went through.

[@Xpzilla]

3:31 the way he said "fucking" never heard Josh sound so angry

[@user-yt5mk4pr7q]

Each time I watch his standup, I love him a little more. He's so natural. Almost makes ya feel like your best friend is shootin' the shit with you. ❤

[@man_on_wheelz]

I like that analogy "life is like a dark house" I'm gonna have to use that bit from time to time whenever I notice a young person just yadda yadda-ing an older persons advice.

[@happysheepies7321]

This young man is one of the funniest new comedians I’ve seen

[@DL-pg2ww]

I'm a 64 German teaching English, I listen to everything that is available from Josh Johnson on KZbin. I have classes with difficult kids and young angry parents. As most teachers probably have these days. I find I can't even listen to "angry" comedians anymore. Everywhere you go on the internet, there's so much anger, rage even, at the left, the right, the woke or the not- woke, the age of the GREAT DIVIDE so to speak. Josh Johnson is a comedian who unites. We can all relate to his tales. No one gets hurt. And maybe not everyone knows or appreciates that yet, we so need people like him. And if he becomes an "angry old man" wishing for cheeky cookie salesgirls to stay small forever, I also want to be that type of angry old woman. Given my age, I hope I already am. 😂

[@LaVieOfficiel]

"😐 and you don't have any real money 🙂" is an all-time, hall of fame comeback. salute. uncritical support. edit: 7000 fkn dollars?? Lord.

[@jasonedenburg9427]

I'm actually more torn, I don't condone the looting but dude clearly cared anough about the damn thing to give out that much 😂😂😂

[@keefabara]

Really wished I could've gone to this show a couple of weeks ago but I couldn't. I'm so glad I get to see some of it!

[@LevLuv12]

It's ok if you're broke. 🤷🏿‍♂️

[@Todengel1313]

Your Tuesday uploads are basically my favorite part of the week. You're absolutely hilarious, a great story teller, and should've had more specials on big networks than you do now.

[@Agent_00Kilo]

"Earussy" I am 😂💀⚰️!

[@firrana]

I adore this human being. be good to him OR ELSE

[@sailincat2822]

Thank you Josh! Your comedy is fresh and original. Your delivery is impeccable. The expensive 'free' rabbit bit was particularly heartwarming. As an 'older' gentleman, I'm trying to follow the path of old guy who refuses to grow up. So far, so good!😁

[@queenreg7]

Old school Dennis the Menace and Mr. Wilson vibes with him and the Girl Scout.

[@MrAntoineglenn]

His delivery and timing is top tier! We’ll be seeing Josh at the top of the comedy game soon.

[@justinnewman13]

Damn he’s on the big stage. Keep going man we love to see your dedication!

[@mandeanraje2300]

He has several taped specials.

[@richardwilliams3392]

I love me some Josh...I remember watching him with his Afro ..lol...but continues to get better...and keeps fresh material coming weekly..salute king..keep being great at being great

[@verballynonverbal]

This was such a great show! Josh always kills.

[@WublicIndecency]

I just love that hes taken good care of the rabbit at least lol

[@CStuekey87]

Oooh lemme roll my blunt up and get this video rolling. Josh's weekly video is seriously my nugget of gold for the week. I'm so excited he's going to waste his time coming to Iowa. We're more than just a flyover state!

[@officiallaurenbrown]

“Waste his time”…?😂🤣🥲 Iowa has good people in it, don’t count yourself out… …I say as a New Yorker😂

[@CStuekey87]

@officiallaurenbrown I love New Yorkers. I used to work in NYC for a bit and any time I'd tell anyone I was from Iowa they'd always ask me questions about home and ask if I lived on a farm lol. I don't, but my grandpa was a farmer, so I grew up on a farm lol. I love you guys.

[@707Berto]

Any GSC in that blunt?

[@CStuekey87]

@@707Berto cherry pie

[@officiallaurenbrown]

@@CStuekey87 positive vibes all around. ✌️😆

[@jojotheoj]

How do you make me laugh and then also remind me of important life things and then I guffaw again. Every single set, every time.

[@user-ll2ks2tg5i]

Thanks for delivering new content every week. You're on a roll.

[@octiiXpies]

Oh god I think I heard my surprised shriek-laugh in there 🤣

[@timmccarthy9917]

timestamp or it didn't happen

[@Anil18834]

The rabbit story had me gasping for air 😂 I laughed for about 1 min after it had ended!

[@mizaroo]

I didn't understand this comment, until JUST now (watching the end). Totally agree 😂 still laughing...

[@Navy148]

Honestly, this is one of the most wholesome communities on KZbin am proud of us☺️and we’re proud of you Josh🙌🏾❤️

[@vfb66]

I just gotta say bro it is super inspiring to see you traveling the country and making a living through your artistry and talent. I know you’ll blow up and I’ll see you on Netflix or hbo ! Keep grinding fam. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@ksea6565]

Spending time with your elders ( walking through the house) was such a beautiful analogy ❤️

[@yuflysolo1833]

7:31 "ear-ussy" 😂😂😂😂

[@BigDaddy-vk6rv]

Come back to Chicago soon! We miss you already!

[@dreboerte5864]

The girl scout used a reverse psych on you. 😂

[@BLOXKAFELLARECORDS]

😂

[@FlyGravitas]

Been following Josh for a few years now. Glad to see him doing so well. He's getting funnier by the show. Also pretty excited to see so much new material.

[@PsychoKupcake]

I get more news from watching Josh than from the internet, tv, and radio all combined. What I love best though about Josh is that he is unique. He has a slow delivery and pulls it off well. I'm so glad he is doing so well 😃

[@honvstly_rosa]

Man I was casually cooking and found your videos on tiktok, now I’m hooked😭😭😭

[@An0nymous_L0gic]

ngl the dark house analogy is fantastic.

[@BLOXKAFELLARECORDS]

Ikr

[@Itsjustx._]

He makes stand up look super easy I love his style

[@leggomyengo]

praying for the day my guy heads to houston with his talents!!! we need you to enlighten us, josh!!!

[@traditionalnative]

i love you can tell you're very kind and humble. my favorite comedian!

[@christinadavis2810]

Josh you are an amazing light. I type your name just to have better days. Keep going king. May the Lord of Israel bless you ❤

[@chetbaker6749]

Thos guy never misses 😂😂😂 he gets me everytime

[@andodamac6804]

Brodie said Ear-Ussy😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@kathleentate8343]

I love this young man

[@sarahbuck2506]

Truly the hardest working man in comedy. So much fresh content

[@jbmp1390]

Thanks for uploading this, along with everything else you share with us Josh. I know this was a big milestone for you to perform at this Venue and I'm so happy for you! ✊✌️

[@stephencamper7715]

This brother don't miss! He is living inside my brain Instantly a legend!!

[@niamarie2199]

Earussy is CRAZY😭😭

[@vl5008]

Stop, stop!!!! It’s nighttime I can’t be laughing this loud. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jauxro]

Leaving me disoriented with the rabbit 😂

[@greggoreo6738]

Josh! You're a NATIONAL TREASURE! Thank God For Your mommy snd daddy! Bravo, genius guy! Respectfully submitted for your consideration Gregg Oreo Long Beach CA Etats Unis

[@shiraz9986]

The rabbit story hit hard🥹😅

[@CStuekey87]

This one was in Chicago so you know it's gonna be fkn hilarious.

[@TaylorMaurandbhangra]

Hehe I was at this show, too. Fun to see it on replay! Also got to meet him in person, and Josh is awesome in person as well as on stage. Thanks for a great set, Josh!!

[@edsp666]

Looted himself into rabbit medical debt 😂😂😂😭 I cant breathe lmmaaooooo

[@Wyljesays]

I fucking LOST IT at Earussy ?! 😂😂😂

[@Understandingasthmawithshaun]

We enjoyed every moment of the set. The food was delicious. Valet parking…..well, it’s Chicago, lol. Love my city.

[@Cheese_crackers]

That whole air pods bit had me crying laughing in the middle of my job. Coworker asked wth you the joker or what? ... I haven't laughed that hard in so long

[@leonelcadet3833]

F it... I know it's going to be anyways so I'll give it an early thumbs up while I wait on the premier.

[@shuyuar]

Mkay. "Ear Bussy"? Did I just hear that?🤧😂🤣🤣💀💀⚰️⚰️

[@williamcrowe2576]

I often find myself on the threshold of "Angry Old Man" sometimes, especially when I'm waiting for a bus and there's a single parent with rowdy kids across from me.

[@yazminkayani5138]

Please come to the UK Josh!!! We love you here!!!

[@aurea.]

Bless that rabbit's heart 🥲

[@amateurflor13]

looting a sick rabbit is crazy😂

[@LilyPeregrine]

Josh is my comfort comedian. It's unlikely that I will ever meet him in real life (being in a country he probably will never visist) but, I hope he knows just how much he makes my day with his videos.

[@CajunCraft24]

“Fox would have a f**king field day!” Truth

[@miriviews]

Petsmart hasn't sold rabbits since 2007, but lets animal rescues put them up for adoption in their stores. So if it was a Petsmart, then he stole a rabbit from an animal rescue group! But loving owners who provide pet bunnies with vet care are super hard to find, so if they knew what happened then the rescue group would probably be thrilled that it found a loving home. 😂

[@Unfortunately_Mickey]

PetSmart also doesn't care for their animals and teaches new owners bad care practices which leads to the animals having incredibly short life spans. (Especially reptiles, I stay mad about it.) I consider it a rescue anyway 😅

[@Bright_Broccoli]

It was less of a loot and more of a bunny rescue. 😊

[@zemorph42]

3:49 Oooooohhhhh! Fatality!

[@zemorph42]

Wireless earphones should not look like they're meant to be corded.

[@meesterskullbaby]

Let’s go boys! Elevate this in the algorithm

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Josh Johnson NEVER misses!!

[@badmonkeyking]

even at 5:44 AM sober laughing so hard!

[@Findmeagainsomeday]

On god this man knows how to make me smile and laugh, give me more

[@lalathea]

EARUSSY 😂

[@ayuumorienjoyer5913]

"rabbit medical debt" please😂

[@awesomelycurious2740]

I'm super glad I was abke to see Josh live in Chicago! Thanks for the good time!!

[@muellerphyllis]

I love your stories and the way you see the world. You are awesome sir.

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

If creepy, angry, sweet, or crazy are the only options for becoming an old man, I'm definitely going to be an angry old man eventually, lol.

[@Zaraknazh]

that rabbit gave a whole new meaning to "crime doesn't pay"

[@naughtyleopard21]

Rabbit medical debt 😆🤣 rabbit feel like weird thing to get at this moment.

[@RobbieEginton]

Dude you truly have it all ... talent, versatility, craft, brains, warmth, authenticity, clarity of perspective, an eye for the absurd. I've been watching you since Catfishing the KKK and I feel unreasonably pleased with myself because I've been saying you're going to be famous someday since then -- unreasonably, as though i had anything to do with your achievement lol 🙃 you remind me a little of a less misogynistic Dylan Moran, your stories sparkle in a similar way. I admire your obvious dedication to your craft. I live in NYC, so hopefully I'll get to come out and see you some time. Hope the tour goes great!

[@martinso1145]

Always Amazing To See A Simple Yet Funny Set!!!! Keep Going Josh, The World Is Watching

[@saycibon]

Hey, Josh! Thanks for sharing this section with us. Your thoughtful humor with twists and turns is so so good. I listen to a lot of comedy, often while doing other things, and you have a presence and persona I truly enjoy watching. Great to see you on The Daily Show! You're very funny, dude.

[@christina-clairegeorges3661]

These are the highlights of my week ! 🎉

[@vicious420]

Damn bro you came to Mexico 😢i wish i could see you at least a few minutes... i would be so glad to meet you... i hope you enjoyed your trip and ofcourse come back soon 🇲🇽love u😍