Love Is Blind S3 #48 - (Zanab Interview #5) - Therapist Reacts

[@weightinprogress4399]

Can we all just appreciate the fact that Dr. Honda uploads 2x a day without fail, even on holidays? I'm thankful for the grounded perspective you provide, Dr. H. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! 🥰

[@sacmakiz]

This is also how he makes money dude 🙄

[@Stormy575]

Zanab strikes me as very performative and narrative when she talks. It's like listeningto an actor being interviewed.

[@raimeepigsley5140]

I agree

[@mickey10jb80]

I was thinking the same thing

[@s.melonita4454]

Yes or a politician!

[@smartmarketing173]

I imagine she’s performing like that for her therapist, too, diluting any ability to help. My ex had his therapist fooled for years before I came along. Then the therapist discovered the ex had been putting on quite a show and sharing very selectively. Was weirdly almost like someone hiding or guilty finally being found out then having a sense of relief😒

[@ashleyw.6702]

Her rant at the altar came across as unhinged. It seems like she is trying to give the impression that she is more balanced.

[@mishakeable]

Dr Honda… I just gotta say. You saved my life. And you changed the way I interact with people close to me. This was the very first Christmas my family didn’t engage in a fight. And is because I know how to handle all of them. ❤

[@sarahsmith3682]

This is so wonderful!

[@hollyblair5778]

I find her so unlikable because of the flavour of superiority that's present in all her communication. There's something that feels really disingenuous. I can't quite say what or why but my instincts say it's there. Also Dr. Kirk's face when she says "I said so many nice things up there!" Is all of our faces 🤣

[@MaraStaaru]

Honestly same! Wherever I get bad vibes about people, 98% it's accurate but the bad vibe radar is off the charts with her. Doesn't mean she herself is a bad person but she has bad qualities that I wish her so called therapist called out on sooner and worked with her on.

[@jclyntoledo]

@@MaraStaaru We don't know what she's in therapy for and therapy takes a long long time to work.

[@smartmarketing173]

In fairness, it’s likely she’s disingenuous with her therapist, too.

[@ff2154]

I think she has identity issues.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

The way she answers questions it seems like the guy sent her the questions before the interview and then she practiced for hours in the mirror before she did the interview. Also, we all know she's going to pop up again in like 5 years with her face all Frankensteined up and then who will she be able to blame for her low self esteem then?

[@linademorais2525]

I imagine losing both parents when you’re in your teens causes a lot of relational trauma and fear of abandonment. I imagine there is also some sense of being an outsider when you are then raised by a step parent of a different race than yours.

[@mamameg9916]

Wonderfully stated.

[@linademorais2525]

@@NN-zk4uz I in no way used it to justify any harmful behavior she displayed. It’s an explains but doesn’t justify thing. And I’m not interested in playing oppression Olympics by ranking trauma. Have a good day. 😊

[@abandonablesnowman]

@@NN-zk4uz People throw around the word abuser way too lightly. Yeah, Zanab’s a little shady in some aspects and the wedding thing wasn’t her best choice, but abusive? There are actual abusive people in the world

[@pebbles92able]

Thank you

[@pebbles92able]

@@NN-zk4uz you act like Cole or whatever his name is, is entirely innocent himself. He wasn't.

[@smartmarketing173]

It’s the arrogance and lack of self-awareness for me.🤦🏻‍♀️Cole was self deprecating and reflective in all his interviews. Incredibly he hasn’t said one bad word about her despite all she’s done. How anyone could fancy themselves gracious & kind after that rant on the altar in front of millions is mind boggling.

[@whoshaysten]

agree!! she said a lot more about herself on the altar than she did about cole 😅

[@jakes3799]

Going even more to your points - It's her one-sided evaluation of the relationship. Every time it's about how Cole treated her badly or about the things he did to her. Have we ever heard her even acknowledge how much what she did on the altar hurt Cole? Even if it wasn't her intention, you'd think that she'd at least say, "It wasn't my intention to hurt him or make him look bad; but with the way things went down I can see why he felt totally humiliated. And I'm sorry for that. He didn't deserve that." No, we've never heard her say anything like that. And that is a big part of why people can't stand her.

[@abandonablesnowman]

But were you there? We have a couple hours of footage of the weeks they spent together, so how can you frame her as this horrific liar? God, people in these comments

[@whoshaysten]

@@abandonablesnowman it’s more just a couple hours & you can pick up a lot on people just based off how they speak to others 😭 did you listen to the video at all

[@Duckduckobtusegoose]

To be fair, he has indeed implied negative things and said things that say would perceive as negative about her since the show ended. I agree with your thought in general, but we have to be honest

[@dawnlower7364]

Oh, Dr. Honda, if only everyone were able to communicate so honestly and clearly as you do. I’ve learned so much from you. All of our relationships would be so much better if everyone could adopt such a real, vulnerable, communication style.

[@dfgvskkg7085]

Listening to you modeling a healthy way to introduce the insecurity Zanab felt around "good", I am reflecting on how much I have come to emulate that in my relationships. I have grown a lot in the past year or two years since I started watching your channel and learning to communicate in a non-defensive and non-accusatory way. Thank you for the work you do :)

[@Sough]

"People praised me all season for being so well spoken, so the idea that I wouldn't go up there and speak eloquently is ridiculous" so bizarre and cringe

[@ff2154]

It's not even the words that she spoke but how she spoke them. I could practically taste the vile over the telly Lol yuk

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

It's very Trump like "Many people say I'm a great speaker, the best speaker, a tremendous speaker."

[@Sough]

@@Aaron-kj8dv its true! Shes kind of a tiktok girlpower Trump

[@demelzapenberthy9579]

Yes - she is good at speaking, I would agree.

[@melaniehoneycutt7371]

Yuck. I can’t imagine even thinking about saying something like that. She’s not well spoken and she isn’t a poor speaker. She just tries to make sure she’s doing her absolute best to protect herself with as much reasoning as possible.

[@Billiedakid]

There is no reason to hate her, There’s lots of reasons to judge her behavior. Her behavior is what I judge, you can’t deny it’s been horrible.

[@cindyben3089]

Well Cole has a reason. Imagine she said says he assaulted her ..

[@smartmarketing173]

@@cindyben3089right?! And I’m angry because women like her hurt others who truly are being intentionally mistreated…she distorts events in her mind, and makes public claims with zero evidence. (Assuming she isn’t outright lying) Thank goodness she didn’t file charges.

[@ff2154]

What? She said he assaulted her?

[@Billiedakid]

@@cindyben3089 She said that!?!

[@mimiad397]

Well yes and no. In tofays society, her accusations could have ruined Coles life if it wasn't for them airing the cuties scene.

[@paulinahorton8038]

I think if Zanab admits she was a ‘no’ prior to the wedding day it would unravel her story about not planning the speech she gave.

[@ppippoppippo597]

what do you mean?

[@mimiad397]

@@ppippoppippo597 Zanab was asked at and after the reunion whether the speech was planned and she said no. Bartise asked her if she knew she was going to say no before the wedding and she insisted that she didn't know she was going to say no until she stood right infront of Cole and that the speech just came naturally

[@ppippoppippo597]

@@mimiad397 I know that story! I just dont understand Paulina's comment 🥲 My first language is not English so I dont get it

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

@@ppippoppippo597 Zainab is playing off her speech as something she came up with in the moment. If she already knew she would say no that means she thought about the speech before hand, because most people who know they'll say no just go "I can't marry you" and kind of leave it at that.

[@ppippoppippo597]

@@Aaron-kj8dv Now I get it 😁🙏 Thank you so so much!

[@shaylamarie960]

I'm sick of Zanab. I understand she's been through a lot but she still acts like she's better than everyone instead of being humble and saying I've been through a lot and still continue to have issues in relationships because of it.

[@ff2154]

That's her Identity & she's sticking to it

[@darter81]

I think that’s what’s so triggering to people. Zero - zero humility or acknowledgment that she could have done anything differently or that she has learned anything about herself that she could work on (which, of course, everybody has!).

[@Stormy575]

I don't think she was gracious or kind at the altar. Agreed, there's no reason to bully her, but the distortion and lack of humility she shows is damaging, to her and I think to Cole, too. I really hope the show has therapists on staff. I've seen a lot of potentially traumatic events on this program and I am concerned about how it impacts the participants.

[@raimeepigsley5140]

I don’t think they have therapist on staff. I’m pretty sure the producers just care about the drama , and don’t actually care about the participants

[@Stormy575]

@@raimeepigsley5140 I think you're right

[@raimeepigsley5140]

@@Stormy575 Dr. Honda said 90 day fiancé is different. According to him, that show has license therapist during the process of it. I have never seen the show.

[@zararashid5827]

Based on observation Zanab is very aware of the cameras and Cole comes across as more forgetful of the cameras, which suggests that the Zanab we see in these interviews and on the show is not a entirely accurate depiction of who she is, she has perhaps been given some sort of PR guidance, as she comes across as extremely polished, formal and contained in her answers/responses, whereas Cole seems quite laid-back and free when he talks , just acts as if he's having a normal conversation with no one else there , this was something i picked up on the show as well, she always seemed to be very calm, politically-correct and almost reticent or self-restraint at times , even when she was in conflict with Cole. Cole would often end up slipping up over his words, saying poorly articulated comments (ie. the bipolar comment) , speaking as if there wasn't millions of people watching.

[@abandonablesnowman]

Cole comes across forgetful of everything. It doesn’t make him a good person

[@rosemercer7159]

Zaneb's personal traumas do not give her permission to cut down another human being. She didn't treat Cole well throughout the season. She belittled and criticized him constantly. It was hard to watch the alter episode. It felt it was a planned speech especially with the grandiose exit with her girlfriends cheering on. I hope she gets more help so she can have a good (great 😘) relationship in the future!

[@keiyoshiki]

Totalmente de acuerdo

[@Sunset553]

She reminds pageant contestants who have had interview coaching.They use all the words the interviewer says, keep their energy up, mention various aspects of any situation, use imagery, motion, etc say everything, except never l land hard on anything negative. Only lightly mention any conclusion or decision, leaving room for you to reverse your decision easily, even if you have to reverse it during the interview. Keep your energy and voice up! Be positive. Say everything was fine.

[@ff2154]

I see that now. Maybe she had to be a Perfectionist all her Life

[@noelleirina5628]

Did you forget about both her parents dying? It definitely doesn't sound like he remembers that

[@kjgaia]

I think Dr Honda forgot this.

[@44nk96]

How has he not realised this detail 🤣

[@jeans0130]

I think he touched upon it. He said he posits that there must be trauma growing up to have these deep fear of abandonment. Sometimes, people forget. Give him a break. Lol!

[@KaitAC]

He definitely knows. He's mentioned it but maybe forgot here.

[@SofiAlvaOk]

Maybe he thinks her mixed family comment is about something else than her parents dying. That's why he said I'm not sure.

[@csquared2182]

I feel like Dr Honda has mentioned her parents passing before so I’m surprised because I agree, it does seem like he’s forgotten. But, there’s so much to keep straight with all of the shows he watches, I can’t say it wouldn’t happen to me too!

[@AdaezesSpace]

I think because she knew Cole was going to say No, she decided to humiliate him. I do not think she is really distorting the situation. I think she is straight up trying to manipulate the situation to suit her own agenda. Someone who is really distorting would not try to be "gracious" and "say nice things". It sounds like she was trying to hurt him and still look like the victim.

[@AnimalsDressedasHumans]

Well said. And I think more ppl than she anticipated were getting that impression, so she’s on damage control, and now not making much sense, like how she said would do it all over again with him. That’s an insincere person that had an agenda to get a following, get sympathy. The only way she comes out looking ok is if she admits she learned from this experience that she can’t scapegoat someone for her insecurities, & basically apologize for humiliating him.

[@abigailllllllllll]

“my guess is she experienced some abandonment, i don’t know what she means by traumas.” both of her parents died when she was a kid did you even watch the show ? 😂

[@taquitawaldorf1462]

Pink is your color, Dr. Honda! 🌸🎀 Wishing you a Happy New Year and thank you so much for the constant high quality content. You make the Internet a better place 🐰

[@paramixzeph]

You really hit it on the nail about perceptions in personality disorders.

[@Cavisori]

Ok so Zanab is looking for a new set of parents and she fell in love with the idea of Cole's tight knit family adopting her and when they didn't wanna show up to their wedding her self esteem was destroyed and she took it out on Cole for not doing more to force his parents to be there. So when he didn't understand wtf was happening because he's an oblivious man child and she's got DEEP rooted issues her brain started twisting everything he said and did because in her mind he didn't love her so he must hate her

[@megapiglatin2574]

For some reason, Zanab seems to be the most triggering person for me this season….does anyone else feel that way and have insight into why they are triggered by her?

[@tulip5210]

Yes her and Angela have really triggered me. I'll come back to this comment

[@ff2154]

Because she seems very 2 faced

[@jolieluc]

For me it’s her condescending air of superiority and every time she lies I feel she’s offending me. She thinks we’re dumb enough to believe her lies.

[@Abstract852]

It's because she's probably up there with someone like Tammy Slaton and being self destructive and seems to be entirely performative in when accepting responsibility (because she doesn't actually). Realistically probably someone to pity really, it's extremely unlikely they'll ever be happy or find anyone....just one of those very bitter old elderly person in the making.

[@juliagulia9224]

She triggers me like crazy. Why?... I can't quite put my finger on it yet.

[@AnimalsDressedasHumans]

This is the second time she said she got praised all season for speaking well. She’s a narc

[@mch3j]

Stop labeling anyone with any sort of mental health concerns as “narcissistic” it’s inaccurate.

[@SofiAlvaOk]

She says she try to be kind. She wasn't kind at all. She told him off as basically an abusing partner. That's not a kind break up. Not at all.

[@bun0428]

I would really love to see a reaction on an interview with Colleen on Anthony gilets podcast, she addresses the abuse rumors

[@nora4642]

Of course she is going to deny

[@ClintSevilla]

@@nora4642 while victims do deny, not believing her furthers the idea women are not proper authorities of their own experience. I say this given that Matt does have a tendency to back down when a third party steps in or when Colleen was being forceful. If this wasn’t the case, her covering for him would be more likely.

[@katherynwoodard3444]

Elementary teacher in Texas- a lot is wrong with our standard curriculum here… but we do teach kiddos K-5 (idk about higher grades) media literacy! It scales as they age, and we talk about internet safety, privacy, media “discernment” and communication skills. It’s pretty great and the kids love it!

[@mamameg9916]

Thank you for that! My mom taught what “evidence” is and means to her Kindergarten classroom. I once asked her if she could do that lesson for adults, too🤯

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

@@mamameg9916 I remember there was a tweet and it was "phrases men say that hurt women" and it had all of this stuff and one of them was "Do you have any evidence of that?" I was like Oh God help us all lol

[@rethinkcps2116]

I$ you are in USA I hope you stress all aspects of the First Amendment as a key aspect of 'media training.' It's the core for all the rest -

[@helloleesh]

Dr Kirk, your hair looks so good!

[@pinky1494]

I live for those moments like at 20:54 when Dr. Honda's face says all

[@MissingGypsy89]

Your really nail it every time Dr. Honda👏🏽

[@zararashid5827]

Completely agree about the pre-reality TV class , contestants should be prepped on how to deal with the online criticism, online trolling, fake news/rumours, social media management, they should be clearly informed on the format of how they film/make these shows.They should definitely be given free of charge resources/therapy to help deal with post-filming mental health struggles (a lot of reality TV contestants have said they experienced depression/anxiety disorders after the show). Or even just therapy to help them process what they saw of themselves on the show, as I can imagine watching yourself and your private life unfold on a highly edited TV show must be a very strange experience.

[@TheIndigo1child]

It seems ironic to me that so many of the cast members on a show called "Love is Blind" have physical appearance as such a high priority. Like what? All her wishlist criteria in a partner were physical. Good luck finding happiness if teeth are one of your top priorities in a soul mate my goodness. Silly me for thinking this show would match average looking people who cared about personality more than looks.

[@tulip5210]

I think it's bc the producers directly ask them to talk about looks once they get out of the pods.

[@TheIndigo1child]

@Tulop I can believe that which is a shame. I think a show with a mix of traditionally attractive people and less physically attractive people would make for much more interesting TV. Having all fit, tanned beautiful people match with each other kind of defeats the "blind" part of love is Blind don't ya think?

[@ff2154]

Proves Love is not Blind at All

[@ashleyw.6702]

I think it's very simple. Zanab was afraid of being rejected by Cole.

[@mch3j]

Uh or it’s simple he was rude & uncaring to her??

[@AdaezesSpace]

Not just afraid. She was aware he was going to say No and she looked for a way to hurt him. I'm sure she was so happy when she was told to respond first.

[@ashleyw.6702]

@Adaeze's Space I completely agree. She keeps saying, "I looked at him at the altar and he looked terrified." She's so insecure, she thought, "He's going to reject me. He doesn't want this at all". The truth was that Cole really liked her and was actually very attracted to her, AND he wanted to continue the relationship. She comforts herself by saying, "He'll be just fine. He will find another woman." Well, yeah, he will! Of course, he will. But that doesn't mean that he didn't want to be with her. She hurt him very deeply. And for no real reason. How sad. 🤦‍♀️

[@sm2593]

​@@mch3j and she wasn't rude to him?

[@ericalivinglife693]

How can you say you were still undecided..then get up there and say how much he degraded you..tore you down etc???!? So, you were waiting for all of that to be erased from your memory mid aisle? 🤔😳😒

[@Carly-pk3xk]

Based on the comments I’m not wrong in this: there’s something very robotic and performative about her. I don’t feel like I know who she is even in the smallest fraction and it makes it hard for us to take her story to heart and support her

[@juliagulia9224]

Yes! It's almost sounded like AI generated answers

[@montserrattorresnadal5087]

So true!!! She's acting!

[@pizzamassacre]

"So robotic!" And if she emotional you would call crazy aggressive bitch

[@ashmarion21]

She’s great at taking… saying what ppl wanna hear type of stuff

[@Nunofyabizzzzz]

Maybe Dr. Honda can keep notes because it does seem like he forgets a lot of key details by the time he’s watching all of these different interviews. I can see how he forgets especially since he watches so many tv shows

[@jinx724]

Isn't part of the tramua she is always referring to the death of her parents... I mean that is pretty traumatic

[@richarddawson5836]

People need to stop making excuses for her shitty behaviour because she lost her parents as a teenager. It is terrible what happened to her but EVERYONE has challenges in their lives. Does that mean EVERYONE has an excuse lie and treat people like crap? Even after all this time has passed she has NEVER shown any remorse or responsibility for her manipulative, narcissistic behaviour. A therapist can only help if you tell them the TRUTH. She clearly sees nothing wrong with how she has conducted herself and has shown ZERO growth.

[@PioneerPrincessTexas]

Yes. A pastor of mine once said, "It may not be your fault there is trash in your yard, but it is your responsibility to clean it up."

[@sarawithoutanh8302]

Honestly, I think it’s incredibly good if people don’t want bonus kids to not compromise on that. Kids should be enthusiastically wanted.

[@rw7567]

Zanab told us her history. She lost both her parents at a very young age. Which is why she said her stepmother is the only mother and family she has now. To me, this could have been the source of the trauma and having abandonment issues…

[@Porcelynnn]

Yes it is. She yearns for a family.

[@abandonablesnowman]

Yeah, I’m surprised Kirk would forget that, but idk he watches a lot of reality tv 🤷🏼‍♀️ a lot to remember

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Her answers of what she looks for in a man are pretty shallow. Of course someone who takes care of themselves, has nice teeth, and has gone to therapy is nice, but it doesn't really say anything about the character of the person. I think at a certain age, the age that she is at (me too) you really start to prioritize kindness, fun, funny, etc. any other personality traits you want in a partner. I think her answers are a little telling on where she's at maturity wise.

[@eh1126]

Exactly! And even the way she talks about the possibility that the man would have kids because of her age. She talks about it as if it would be something that’s not ideal and that she would put up with it but still see it as an inconvenience. I really hope no guy with kids ends up with her because I would feel sorry for those kids to have to grow up with someone so hostile and passive aggressive 🙃

[@sm2593]

Yeah and ironically she was sensitive about every single comment about her physical looks. It seems like she's the one who puts a lot of value on looks and that she links that to her self esteem, which as a woman I can understand, I do it too because we've been conditioned to think like that, but she can't then do the same and paint him to be a villain.

[@darter81]

KZbin won’t let us post pics in comments so the only way I have to display the amazing progression of side-eye Dr. Honda gives in this video is by changing my thumbnail. Please get your phone camera out and put it on Zoom and enjoy with me.

[@marlynsantos9677]

She continues to sound like a self-absorbed reporter... presenting a facade of how she wants to be seen.

[@Sough]

First on her wishlist: don't tell me what to eat. That's#1, really? Or a shot at Cole even though we all saw the cuties. -"all season people praised me for speaking well." Uh what? - still hanging on to the strangely elaborate lies about when and why she decided to not get married. Sure maybe contract related, but why not avoid the question? -"i was very gracious at the altar." I agree with dr H :"i dont think anyone agrees with that"

[@jclyntoledo]

I think she already had issues around body image and potentially eating disorders that pre-existed before Cole.

[@Stormy575]

@@jclyntoledo that seems pretty clear. Someone with no history of eating disorder or trauma would not be so triggered by that.

[@jclyntoledo]

@@Stormy575 I was commenting on the OP who said they were shocked that Zanab said someone not telling her what to eat was the first thing she looked for in a guy. I was just confirming it had nothing to do with the cuties or Cole relationship.

[@Stormy575]

@@jclyntoledo yes, totally! I was agreeing with you.

[@Yararar]

Honestly I would rather my man to remind me to eat healthy and watch my portions if I’m pigging out than not 😂 wouldn’t be offended at all

[@MeganSmith80]

Ouch from a foreign language teacher who is already seeing her program disappear from a lot of universities. Speaking only English is a very American thing. Learning a second language makes you a citizen of the world, not just your own country.

[@DodoToutDoux]

Exactly. His comment felt so weird to me. 😟

[@abandonablesnowman]

Language would actually matter in the US if we started learning it in elementary, but since we only do two, maybe three years in high school and the curriculum is probably garbage, no it’s not that important

[@MeganSmith80]

@@abandonablesnowman learning a language isn't solely about learning how to speak it. It's also about learning about a different culture and teaching your brain to think in a different way. So no, it's not garbage.

[@shadiyahslifestyle9147]

I believe when she speaks about hard traumas Dr. H she is speaking of how both of her parents I believe died when she was younger.I know that is one aspect she spoke about on the show. it is possible after the passing of her parents she felt abandoned

[@nader85021]

Your guess about zanab following contract/rules is spot on. She is willing to lie to protect that is backed up. For example, in reunion she said this is first time she saw cole since the wedding. But we know its not true now, since life after altar was taped before the reunion (around a month before). She probably couldnt say that and it was odd vanessa asked that knowing life after altar was already taped, forcing her to lie about it. Its also true that cole sometimes forgets about the rules. Bc E! did an interview with both zanab and cole and cole said they have been talking that week and zanab denied it. It’s obvious cole slipped the truth.

[@MzJamaicanBeauty12]

Both of her parents died while she was young. Major abandonment issues. She’s not self aware though

[@pearlosibu]

Dr. Honda, i wish you would listen more closely to horrible things Zanab says that just go right over easy. I cannot believe you skipped right over her statement about how people’s would ask her what she was doing with her ex. She really enjoyed repeating that and of that isn’t a grandiose narcissist I don’t know what that is. Sounds like a small thong hut it says a lot about her. She definitely likes it to be where she’s coddled but she’s a nasty person to others.

[@ff2154]

Anyone who says they are the catch of the century clearly has issues.....you're not or you'd already be wifed up by now 😜

[@nomfundoshezi3511]

@@ff2154this!!!!

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Didn't she say his parents said that or did I hear wrong? Like someone who is 100% biased on their son's side likes her even more, unless if I misunderstood her statement.

[@Yararar]

@@ff2154 that was so gross, can’t believe she would have the courage to say that about herself on a TV show 😂🤢

[@pearlosibu]

@@Aaron-kj8dv insane isn’t it?

[@eliseadayme7306]

Zaynab strikes me as a self righteous woman. She holds herself with high regards and everything she says or does has a legitimate justification in her mind. I’m not saying she’s a bad person but what I am saying is that she lacks self awareness on a grand scale. And I say on a grand scale bcz if seeing yourself behave the way she behaved projected for the world to see and STILL think so highly of yourself without questioning your behavior, drivers and triggers, then how much self awareness do you really have? I may be jumping to conclusions here and as Dr Honda says I don’t know anything for sure, but I get the impression that she won’t be happy in any relationship unless the guy is completely subdued to her will. That’s my two cents.

[@laoisemangan308]

She previously mentioned that her parents divorced when she was young and then both passed away when she was young so I believe she went to therapy around those periods

[@firesista]

Doc have you watched Dating Around?

[@starswithmar]

The music is like listening to terrible “on hold” music!

[@andianderson3017]

Zanab knows all the right answers to be a likeable person. That doesn’t mean what she says and what she does are the same thing. If she were who she says she is she might still have turned Cole down, but she would’ve done it so differently. Someone who really means answers that are that mature just would not have needed to publicly put him down at the wedding or ever. She would have let people make their own conclusions.

[@AudreyLaneYoga]

the music is really annoying.

[@Sough]

Its like we came to hear the words, its an interview. So obnoxious

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

It's sooo distracting

[@Evie534]

I know! What person in their right mind edited the video and decided, “yep! this music is the right choice and isn’t distracting at all.”

[@vajolinda]

The music is aaaawful

[@jeans0130]

I think the music was there to make the interview less annoying. Lol!

[@ff2154]

Lol

[@celest8180]

She’s really out here expecting her partner’s parents to pick & side with her over their own child that they raised. I’ve never come across such an unlikeable person

[@melissamariathompson3668]

@psychologyinseattle both parents passed away when she was young

[@Billiedakid]

What a beautiful way to call a liar 😂😂😂😂 YOU FOLLOW RULES!!!!

[@Alumnia91]

Oh god, this interview made me furious when I listened to it. It felt like Zanab's PR was forcing the interviewer to keep it "light and sweet".

[@Eddybaby01]

Fresh cut Dr. 💈

[@amandastafford8124]

How can someone who’s “no” is that intense, also have a “yes”? It’s hard to believe.

[@danicarr6625]

Oh gosh, that background music is distracting and feels at odds with what is being said

[@noelleirina5628]

I find it very peculiar that someone with an eating disorder would put that much emphasis on dating someone that eats "clean" and works out regularly. Hypocritical much?

[@Kuh8024]

Being around junk food could be triggering. Seems like it’s a fine preference for someone to have.

[@Stormy575]

Or maybe that's totally in line with her eating disorder

[@buffy6673]

Yeah that is like 100 in line with eating disorder behavior - from someone with an ED.

[@thatlibrariangirl]

For some reason, I thought she had lost both of her parents at a pretty young age. Am I wrong on that.

[@linabella1218]

She was 12.

[@SkyHighHoopz]

What just happened? I am glad Dr. Honda is watching interviews of cast members because what is going on with this lady? I feel bad for Cole. It will be very difficult to have a relationship with someone like her. They tear you apart, say you’re a piece of sh** and turn around say “but I love you, you’re a great person” 😂😂 I mean I am laughing but, it really isn’t funny. Can’t believe she actually thinks she was gracious during the Ceremony. Poor guy left that place feeling like a terrible human being. She made it seem like he verbally abused her. Omg! The whole speech was definitely planned. Why would you even consider marrying a man, that according to you, body shamed you? I thought the 2nd season of Love is blind was toxic but, the third season, oh the third season was just terrible. It seems like almost of the cast was just there for their 15 minutes of fame. Couldn’t take anyone seriously. The first season by far seems like the most genuine(authentic).

[@tulip5210]

I came back here to find a comment I made on someones response since I don't get comment notifications, I can't find it and I am sad because your comment provided insight and I wanted you to know that and it should be shared 🥺.I felt bad because I was worried my comment may have made you feel upset in someway and I'm sorry. Even if I don't agree with something I think it is good for a balance of opinions to be shared because we each have our own insights to share and give, so just to anyone please don't erase yourself. Share your insights even if you think you are alone in it.

[@MyEyebrowsAreMyEnemy]

"i don't have any data to think she's lying or wrong" I just don't believe her🥺

[@EnjoyLife-op5rn]

I agree that we need to give Zanab grace and "not bully her or say that she is a piece of ..." because she has issues. Likewise, we need to give grace and "not bully" or put down Bartise, Cole, and Matt who also were disrespectful and have issues. Also, Zanab: "I want to find someone at my level." Her words show arrogance. She stratifies men accord to "levels" of her level and beneath her level. Categorizing people like this can screen out people who could be compatible and good matches. Categorizing people can also lead to contempt for others who are "beneath" a person. My opinion: all people are at the same level. We are all good enough for each other. People aren't necessarily the best match for others because of their differences.

[@lau.770]

Dr. Honda I feel like you’re missing a huge chunk / opportunity to discuss loss of parents and abandonment at an early age. If I recall correctly, Zanab lost both her parents tragically within a short period of time under the age of 17. I really wish this was part of your reflection as I also lost a parent and very much relate to wanting a family (or in laws) that take me in as Zanab said during this interview. PLEASE speak to this if you can in another video. It would be very helpful to have this understanding and how it affects current relationships even outside romantic ones.

[@preciousabwooli488]

Actually, in England, people behave like Zay. I think it is the environment she was brought up in, not the personality disorder. I also think she loves Cole, but him telling her that he would say know, then his family rejecting her, brought back all the pains and resentment of rejection from the Country she grew up in, because people do reject you for being different and also from past relationships.

[@baintreachas]

wym by "like Zay," w/respect to england? genuinely curious

[@a1ntcry1noveru]

She’s STILL giving interviews?!

[@02biddle]

Zanab may have some distortions but I don't think it is nearly as bad as people make it out to be. She didn't say he wouldn't be able to defend himself. She said he would have to hear her out. As far as I remember she never said he did it on purpose, which is how she could believe that he is a good person deep down but doesn't understand what he did. I think that why she thinks she was gracious. Even if you don't believe it was a bad as she says, the behaviour we saw was bad enough. I think dealing with that would be more damaging to a person than her speech at the altar would be. I wish people would stop making Cole out to be a victim.

[@mirb2093]

I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for Dr. Honda to conceptualize that someone wouldn’t have their mind fully made up at the alter. Maybe in the real word yeah, but this is fast tracked. They only have weeks to decide such a life-changing commitment. Depending on the relationship, I can understand one being massively in love and seeing many benefits, but also being aware of their struggles and not knowing what to do until that moment when they see their partner. Maybe it’s because of his experience with relationships, but it doesn’t sound so far-fetched to me in this particular situation given the circumstances.

[@mch3j]

Agreee so much, it seems like people are overly critical in a situation that literally no one has experienced something remotely close

[@AdaezesSpace]

Do you really think she knew Cole was going to say No and still wasn't sure what her response would be? Come on now!

[@mirb2093]

@@AdaezesSpace I don’t know what Zanab was thinking about I’m not her. She says she had two answers, and I can understand and believe that. Regardless, Zanab & Colde aside, I can understand being on the show and going through that experience without knowing 100% which direction you are.

[@OscarTheGreat2022]

This woman is toxic and I feel bad for any man that wife's her up. Smh

[@MyEyebrowsAreMyEnemy]

I would go back in time, and go through the FUCKING hell my x put me through with police calls, police protection, PTSD and left the country... To make sure I would meet my current husband again... So to not wish a new "get go" if you could back in time, I get... There was years in hell in crisis centres, and even though it have been over for years, he would still kill me, I still have PTSD in the area friends and family lives in, because he knows where my parents and sister lives... I had a panic attack for two weeks ago, it's fucking hard... But, I would go through it all, i would want to be the strong person I am, now... But, my husband and I grew up 3000-4000 km from each other, so,we would never have met, if anything had been different... So... I would go through it ALL again... Just to be where I am now... So, I can imagine, she learned some things about herself she likes to know, she has friends because of this experience... One "bad relationship" doesn't mean, you have to want to go back, and change anything... Even covid had a hand in how/why we met, so, I'm okay... About it all... (I would go back and say, all is going to be better, but, that would still ruin the new me... So... Nothing to change)

[@kjergens1]

Radical opinion: I don't think Zanab has insecurities. I don't think she has weight issues. Hear me out. When someone has a distorted view of food, they think it's normal and they want other ppl to have that view, too. If she had an eating disorder she'd be happy if Cole "helped" her not to eat. It doesn't make sense that she's mad at him. She wanted to take him down because she thought she could. Blaming a guy for misogyony and body-shaming seemed believeable so that's what she did. Cole is probably the first man in her life to stand up for himself and she's probably surprised that it didn't work.

[@Secretsongs20]

I think no matter what Cole said and how he framed it, she was twisting his words. Cole did reassure her about his “good, very good” comment. I would not want to be in a relationship with a person like Zanab, she manipulated and broke the man.

[@MarcelaRS6]

She says so much he was not her forever person, people could do a drinking game out of it.

[@sofianehamama7073]

Honest question: do you think Dr Honda's tone/opinion would change if the sexes were reversed?

[@livalittleasmr]

No I don’t think so

[@Xxbubbly10]

Both her parents died when she was younger

[@keiyoshiki]

Es nada bella Zay! Cole es guapísimo

[@JanelleAAnido]

I just don’t believe they were compatible. I use astrology sometimes to learn about people, and I can see how Cole was misunderstood often. Specially when he said good instead of great. He’s a Taurus so am I and people often misunderstand us when we express our feelings. Specially if happy, usually we feel like you will be able to tell by our behavior. We are more expressive when something is bothering us. Now she’s a an Aries, I have an Aries moon which the moon is usually your emotions. So I also understand her as well. I think it was just too early to hold grudges etc

[@danigomes7879]

Zanab really wanted to create a victim narrative off the back of Cole, to become some sort of a celebrity and come on top. She’s really manipulative and I can’t stand her. Cole immature and all, was nothing but genuine.

[@Billiedakid]

Wait …she is not perfect???? News to me!!! I really thought she was 😒 (read it with sarcasm)

[@lindsaycompton8042]

I just gotta respectfully disagree with you Dr. Honda when you say that everyone understands that what she is describing is horrible. Lots of people think it’s perfectly okay and *an act of love* to bully people for what they eat. This happens to women a lot, especially at the hands of their family. So it easy to compartmentalize the destructive things loved ones do from ones overall love for them.

[@jclyntoledo]

Wouldn't that be specific to dysfunctional and abusive family units though?... I'm not sure if most families do this to their daughters or women on their family on a regular basis.

[@xiomarieglick87]

I thought you watched love is blind… I am not even 2 minutes in and you already don’t know why she has childhood trauma, after being super transparent and vocal about losing both her parents… c’mon now.

[@tulip5210]

What about the other cast members interviews? I mean you did do Nancy and bartise as well but still. would it be possible to do another one of other cast members outside of the Cole zanab dynamic like colleen? And honestly if you do a second one on zanab would it be possible do a second one on Cole so it's fair. -edited bc I realized I worded this far too bluntly and not as kind as I would like 💀

[@mamameg9916]

I honestly just see a woman who has gone through a lot of familial loss trauma at significant developmental points and systemic trauma from racism that isn’t quite there (whatever that means) in her healing journey. We humans tend to be more hostile, judgmental, and “prickly” (hyper sensitive) when we aren’t integrated. Sounds like she’s done a ton of work on her herself. And like every human on this earth, ditto.

[@MyEyebrowsAreMyEnemy]

He "hang her out" about the good/great thing... Can anyone else imagine that she would do the same, with the first thing he did,she didn't agree with... Infront of ALL of Netflix's view'ers

[@MyEyebrowsAreMyEnemy]

Or is it just me who swallowed All the first years's issues, and very few of the rest... Even though my x hang me out to dry, All the time

[@abacoejenks]

I don't know. I kind of see Cole as being loose with the facts. He seems believable I think only because he's kind of dopey. But I think she makes more sense if you think of her as a highly sensitive person picking up on his not being physically attracted to her. She would have sensed that the night before and it might have over informed his quiet the next morning. And just snowballed from there.

[@jolieluc]

I don’t think it’s because he’s “dopey”. I think it’s because people recalling stories from 18 months ago sounds like him; unrehearsed and raw. Zanab is rehearsed in her answers, I’ve heard her say the eloquent speaker thing multiple times 😅, i’ve heard her say she looked up and that wasnt her person multiple times, I heard her say she had a yes and a no prepared multiple times, etc. She has her side prepared as to win an argument and never simply to communicate. Fake, fake, fake.

[@unicornL]

Zanab was waiting for this show to hit knowing it was gonna be a 💩show and it would potentially make her instafamous

[@penneypetit]

You should remember the basics-- she lost both her parents during her teenage years. She's an orphan.

[@ff2154]

So are Many Many others....and they don't come off as unhinged

[@Porcelynnn]

Her trauma is her responsibility to grow from and work on. No one is here to save her-she’s got to do the work.

[@paulas1451]

She looks different. Did she have plastic surgery?

[@neotheboxer]

The good doctor is wonderful but many of us don't have the skills or language to express things as he is suggesting...

[@ClintSevilla]

I think Zanab is probably a great friend. Romantic partner that is questionable.

[@sharonwilliams8552]

Can you react to the new show called The Parent Test? Commenting on a few videos in hope you see this haha