INFP and INTJ - Relationship Advice

[@youknowwho2374]

I’m an INTJ who has been in a relationship with an INFP for 7 years, so I think I can give some advice to fellow INTJs. Obviously, these are just one man’s personal experiences so don’t take them for granted, think for yourself and feel free to disagree with me. If you are an INFP reading this and find something I mention a bit too harsh, please know that I only wrote this comment because I think it can be beneficial to you/your partner and that I think you guys are among the most wonderful creatures on Earth. If you are an INTJ: This is a long comment with personal anecdotes so if you do not care about those, here are my principles, check these out and you can stop reading:
 1. Learn to accurately assess whether they are already solution oriented about a problem or still at the “feelings stage” 2.Learn to plan spontaneity 3.Always be nice to the people they love the most even if you don’t like them 4.If you suspect he/she will want to talk about emotions play out the conversation in your head a couple of times, jot down your thoughts and practice your responses 5.If you want the relationship to succeed you simply have to make him/her a priority, there is no hack around this one. 1.
For me, the emotion I feel most intensely is anger. When a problem occurs, 99% of the time I deeply feel anger that this problem is messing with my plan, so I channel the energy that anger generates into designing a solution to the problem. The emotion my INFP felt most intensely is insecurity. When a problem occurred, she would start second guessing herself, always thinking that it was somehow her fault, and that she was never good enough. This feeling of insecurity had a paralyzing effect on her and would always include a period of inaction, or a “feelings stage”, while she wrestled with her emotions. As I found there’s nothing you can do with this, except being there for her while her internal storm passes. Giving her the solution to the problem doesn’t help, neither does bringing up logical arguments that it’s not her fault, that she’s good enough, and that it’s probably not the end of the world. INFPs are smart and they’re great problem solvers, so once they are finished with all these feeling things they will probably figure out the solution on their own. Independent as they are, they probably wouldn’t want you to solve their problems for them anyway. Just be there as a lighthouse amid their stormy sea of feelings, and maybe help with implementation details once they are solution oriented. 2. This might sound paradoxical, but you can act like you’re spontaneous without actually being spontaneous. You can achieve the illusion by designing and planning. For example, there is nothing that would light up my INFPs day as much as small little surprises like picking her up from work unannounced with some flowers, donuts or something like this. These surprises don’t actually have to be random, it only has to seem that way. Indeed, most of these things I planned out weeks before, otherwise I wouldn’t actually had time to do them. The point here really is to not reveal this, but to say something like “I just couldn’t focus on work and had to see you” (I can always focus on work). This can generate amazing psychological effects in them. While I strongly discourage any kind of untruthfulness and advocate complete transparency, I think small positive lies like this one are acceptable for the sake of a long term relationship. 3. There were many people I didn’t like in my INFPs family. This was nothing personal, I had objective reasons for not liking them. They made financially unwise decisions, had mental health issues they weren’t addressing, and so on, each of which negatively affected my INFP and therefore negatively affected me. For a long time, I would tell these people how to solve their problems and I would also deliver criticisms both to them and to my INFP. This is certainly not a great move. INFPs I believe are fiercely protective and not very objective about their loved ones and would protect them in an argument even if they know that you are completely right. They also tend to take objective and well-meaning criticisms as personal attacks. So… how do you solve this one? First, try not to be rude to these people, even if you want to slap them in the face for the dumb and ignorant decisions they’ve made. Second, help your INFP learn how to remain balanced and calm, and help him/her understand that he/she is responsible for his/her own happiness, and not responsible for the happiness of other people who are grown up independent people. 4. In an INTJ INFP relationship, I think the difference in functions manifests most strongly in discussions about emotions. INFPs can talk at great length about their feelings and can deliver a well-composed analysis of those feelings. If after a 15-minute monologue about their inner life the most you can say is “I feel sad” or “That’s great” they will feel that you don’t care/don’t pay attention to them. The fact that you indeed listened intently to every word they said is irrelevant. So accept and explain to them that even though you might feel as deeply as they do, you are unable to articulate these feelings as vividly as they do. You can practice this skill though. Sit down and write out your feelings. Yes, I actually just wrote that. If you’re used to writing technical stuff like me this will feel extremely weird and like you’re in kindergarten, but don’t stop practicing. 5. To be honest, this one is the hardest. I think as an INTJ even if you love your partner more than anything, making them a priority is extremely difficult, at least for me. For example, I can become maniacally obsessed with my work and business success. A few years ago, I was making a living playing online poker professionally, I started building a business and I was graduating from law school. This barely left time for anything else. For the last few exams in law school, I had to study extraordinarily much, so I did not spend time with my INFP nor did I build my business. After passing the last exam I sit straight down to play poker and code. I was just so angry that I wasted so much time studying and that I was not making any progress in the other two domains that I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. My INFP, who was patiently waiting the whole time I was studying really wanted to spend time with me now that I was ‘free’, but I said no because seriously all I could think about was getting stuff done. Thinking back, I was a real jerk, and I would behave differently now. The lesson here is that no matter how many important endeavors you have, you have to put your INFP first. INFPs are mostly kind, helpful, and supportive, but they definitely have their tolerance levels. If you abuse their support in such a way they are not afraid to make difficult decisions.

[@Nylbereth]

L D thank you for taking the time to share your story. This is very useful.

[@wrenforest7921]

I really appreciate your writing this. I am an INFP female, and the greatest love of my life was an INTJ male, and you are so correct. This is extremely validating and helpful. Xx

[@emmilygelig341]

That is extremely long which is exactly worth reading for and very useful. Thank you for taking your time, writing this. This can surely help the INTJ's and INFP's for the better towards healthy relationships.

[@aurajitsu7179]

Thank you for sharing! my INTJ is currently in the "frustrated wasting time" that he hasn't gotten anything project completed due to his job, and I'm here being patient. I'm glad I know that you realized this and gives me hope that he will come to as well. (I am an INFJ)

[@quriosadesign]

This is like reading my 7 years relationship story with my now ex (I don't know his type, but it is quite similar to INTJ), very similar. I waited patiently, was compassionate and tolerant 'till the point I was losing myself and decided to leave. It was one of the most painful moments of my life because when I make a decision, there is no going back. I had my share on our problems too so is no one's fault, I only keep the lessons and growth. Thank you for sharing. - INFP

[@hamzailarzeg]

I love INFPs, they're like an abstract painting

[@sufiamohsin2421]

Thanks, that's an interesting observation -an infp

[@seventhsheaven]

Splotchy and indecipherable?

[@ZekeMan62]

@@seventhsheaven Not entirely wrong. ~INFP

[@quriosadesign]

Thank you, man! I love INTJ's 💖

[@umniyahirfan5026]

Thanks

[@macse7en]

I didn't realize INFPs and INTJs were this common together. It all makes sense now.

[@bishcp]

Oh yeah. I’m an INTJ, and my best friend of 10 years is an INFP. The points he’s making here really ring true to this type of duo

[@freedomlibertad5310]

@@bishcp 🌹❤️

[@dreamnovel3480]

I think it's more like a magnet type of jazz, my sister who is an INTJ tends to attract people such as INFPs, ENFPs and the like in her friends. I like to think of it as people subconsciously being close to others who can help them or fill the void they are lacking in. And of course she's stuck with me (INFP) xD

[@riversong_]

INFP-T here been with my INTJ -A husband for 23 years. Sweetest compliment he ever gave me was when he got home from work and I was dancing with our daughters and he said " I can always rely on coming home to a house of whimsy."

[@downwardbrainspiral]

this comment made me smile thank you :)

[@T.Koetsch]

This is the cutest thing ever!❤❤❤

[@wiegraf9009]

That's so sweet!

[@PhotoRubio]

(INFP) I had an INTJ partner for a while. Her dry demeanor and ZERO tolerance for nonsense while being logical was astoundingly attractive. This is the same person who turned to me once and said that I gave her world depth... She always chose the destinations, I always made sure we had fun along the way.

[@lovewho]

I love that ending statement, very well said indeed ~ Nathan

[@remasiu8029]

As an INTJ this makes so much sense to me as I plan on what to do with a certain INFP.

[@quintuplebanned4267]

Papa Romeo she’s where? What happened?

[@PhotoRubio]

@@quintuplebanned4267 Every story has two sides.Though things were not perfect, she had family obligations and wanted to move. I did as well and could not.

[@KennedyDillingerCh33]

(INFP) Couldn´t help but cry at the realization that this is how i feel about a certain INTJ. You have my sympathy

[@briankim570]

INTJ here and just married with an INFP! You speak right on the nose about how my INFP wife gives a lot of insightful perspectives during the times when I do get stuck in a rut and unable to see past the wall. There have been many times I have actually been in awe of the ways she can see things in the perspective of other people and also how to get through situations when my introverted intuition can't see past the hole I'm in. I've been in relationships with ENFPs in the past and can feel overwhelmed by the constant move towards the next thing after the next thing, but I feel my INFP wife is much more grounded with what she believes in and stays true to who she is. We are definitely a great combo!

[@lovewho]

Great comment. Glad you found some of it accurate! ~ Nathan

[@zinmomo7192]

I love this comment! This pairing is 👏

[@jennicangelic]

Aweee such a lovely thing to read coming from an INTJ ☺ cheers to your forever - infp-

[@annesom5648]

Haha just had that talk with my INTJ yesterday. I really enjoy that dynamic and how complementary our “skills” are.

[@Mr10203040]

Not too close, not too far, juuust right.. - intj x infp in a nutshell

[@lovewho]

Well said ~ Nathan

[@zephdo2971]

i think, what INFPs love about INTJ is they don't do/say BS things. INTJs are super honest

[@amistiel]

I'm an INTJ over 20 years with my INFP. He's still a mystery to me :) I absolutely adore that he got so many qualities I'm lacking, which really makes our life easier together. As parents it also makes a good combination - I have all the dates, the plans, the schedule, reminders noted. He goes to parent-teacher meetings to charm our Virtuoso out of trouble. He's the caring one. The question which always puzzles me, when asked by others, is why I love him. I think all INTJs will agree that looks and money is kind of a nice-to-have, not the primary attraction parameter. For me - he's perfect. It works, the system is running smooth as can be, we agree on life goals/morals, we see the world in the same way, we have many hobbies in common. We can spend hours sitting in silence, reading or browsing memes (although then I would often jump up, motivated by something I read or saw, to be productive). He's my comfort zone and regardless where I'm at - with him I am truly at home.

[@naromellow]

As a fellow female INTJ dating a cinnamon roll of a male INFP, this gives me so much hope. I often fear I'm too much in my "masculine energy"... but I need to accept that I'm just really good at taking charge, planning, and getting things done. My INFP boyfriend truly has a way of balancing me out, reminds me to soften, relax, and be silly, etc. So, thank you, again, for sharing your experience. It gives me so much hope that this pairing can be successful 😊

[@kaycee4407]

Mastermind & Hero Oooor... INFP brains are like following around a wandering goat with a shopping cart full of sparkly weird things... The INTJ Goblin is very interested in silently observing the goats popsicle course and curious as to what is in inside the cart..

[@lovewho]

I love the poetry of this comment ~ Nathan

[@jaybhipp8559]

Is it REALLY interesting? Are they courious? Or are they sick and tired of those sparkling things because it appeared they’re not useful?

[@vizuz]

@@jaybhipp8559 INTJs are interested that are different from the norm because they can use and integrate that information in their Ni. Useful insights can come from things that don't appear to be useful. It also offers some relief I guess because INTJs don't really like the traditional and mundane Si stuff

[@christianhawthorne1665]

I probably awakened the entire house laughing at this one.-INTJ

[@fatemakhanpurwala1473]

Wait have someone seen the drama of the goblin it is totally relatable here

[@rebeccastephanie2428]

INTJ here and not currently in a relationship with an INFP but two of my closest friends are INFPs and our relationships are very much founded on the basis of us respecting each other's passions (the three of us are basically geeks). They don't really say a lot of things, but when they do, it's always something interesting. Not gonna lie, there's a comment here somewhere saying INFPs are like abstract paintings and, man, that's so accurate. Not to be weird or anything because you're an INFP, but as an INTJ I've always had this urge to solve INFPs but every time I look at them there's always something new about them that I didn't know and they get more and more beautiful every time I peel a layer off. They also "taught" me to stop banging my head against the roadblock as you said because when life threw them rocks they just bounce back right up in unexpected ways and they get back on track even better than how my INTJ system would let me and it's extraordinary.

[@anshulbhatt7613]

My INFP heart is crying for a friend like u. 😭😭😭

[@zinmomo7192]

I feel similar towards INTJs :)

[@baes2034]

Totally agree

[@michelledoan4447]

Amazing insight on the INFP/INTJ synergy. I'm actually an ENFP and I dated an INTJ. We're still friends but this helps me alot in trying to make sense of what went wrong in that relationship. Hearing an INTJ put into words the positive effects of what Ne-Fi functions bring to their lives is so satisfying. The one thing that I struggled with while dating an INTJ is that I constantly felt like I needed to be "fixed" and "improved", which inherently made me feel useless and inadequate for a long time, worse comes from the person you loved. So yes, Respect is definitely more important for this duo probz more than other pairs even, because these two types are so highly individualistic.

[@deutschlernen8697]

THEY DON'T REALLY SAY A LOT OF THINGS , BUT WHEN THEY DO IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING INTERESTING" . So accurate . Thank you INFP here ❤️🌹

[@dogdonut3]

"Firstly, INTJs are... weird" That should be on a shirt.

[@antoinettenovella1630]

We are both weird types. INFP married to an INTJ, eighteen years difference, different nationalities and second wife. Still thriving sixteen years later.

[@supergeeky7529]

I would buy that!

[@nylonbird]

my bf is an INTJ and I like watching him do tasks, it’s cute because of how focused he gets. ~INFP

[@kssgpv]

same here!

[@worm7709]

I am an INTJ who had an unrequited love for an INFP, although I wasn't the only one. She is loved by many. In high school I wasn't unpopular I just thought it was a waste of time to put efforts into networking and decided it would be better to focus on my studies. Senior year half my schedule was study halls, therefor having no "studies" to distract myself with. Her and I would cross paths here and there. I saw the universe in the shine of her eyes. She was very generous with her words. Anytime she spoke it was like a meteor hitting earth (her word being the meteor and my heart being earth). I had no empathy for people, and had no care for relationships but in her I saw hope for humanity. So, I started seeking her out more often, since she had many friends and lots of love to give she was almost never alone. She opened my eyes socially. Because I wanted to care for her, I had to learn how, not only for her, but everyone who surrounded her as well. She is the only person to surpass my barriers, the ones even I could not get through. She is forever endowed, and I am forever grateful.

[@fizzy3766]

Oh wow, this is so beautiful. Any updates?

[@debopam_das777]

brought back memories...

[@chivalryremains9426]

Beautifully written!

[@languagenerd477]

Omg, this is so romantic 🥺 Makes me want to get an Intj boyfriend -infp girl

[@oliviathatcher1459]

Beautiful!

[@CalebHopkins]

"No other type is so unusual, eclectic or downright eccentric in their interests." As an INFP, I absolutely love this description 😂

[@Arpin_Lusene]

As an INFP, I find that I need someone around me so that I could start and keep doing what I should do, and they don't even necessarily need to tell me to do stuffs(though that also helps), just being near me already gives me enough push to do something. Because if I left alone, I could procrastinate hard and spend the rest of my time daydreaming and ended up sleeping lol.

[@pamelavera2247]

Same same

[@kaoriheartfilia2783]

Same! When me and my friends gather for group study or discussion, I'm always much more productive. It's like all my leadership qualities burst out lol.

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

Maybe the external enviroment turns on the Te? If alone, the Fi is used instead ("do what you want")?

[@lovewho]

Yes definitely, surrounding yourself with those kinds of people is often enough to pick up the productive contagion! ~ Nathan

[@Ani-yt4nf]

Saaaame

[@amandabowers8888]

I’m an INFP married to an INTJ and I feel like this is pretty spot on (because I’m so good at that feeling stuff 😅) My husband brings structure to my chaos, and I bring life and silliness to his focus. While he was in grad school and making plans for our lives in the long-run, I have filled our home with plants and animals (and remnants of 1000 hobbies) that give the day-to-day more substance. We balance each other out.

[@tulips7465]

Omg you sound like my bf. He fills our apartment with plants and stuff. While I do the planning for our future. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm an INTJ female.

[@sa-le4mj]

My INTJ always tells me I gave his life a sort of purpose, but I think what you wrote more so describes what he meant.

[@deliriumbruises]

It's so fascinating how much INFPs can relate to each other, haha.

[@bunny_0288]

EXACTLY RIGHT! My INTJ husband is the mastermind/mad scientist making plans and making sure we have savings and retirement and stuff like that lol, and I work on making our home cozy, fun, and full of life. I love the way he sees the world. I find him utterly fascinating. We have the most interesting conversations and we love to brainstorm ideas together. He tells me all the time I help him to make better decisions because I see the world and problems very differently from him and he can take my ideas and expand upon them. I think we are extremely compatible and we definitely balance each other out. While some INFP's want someone to push them out of their comfort zone and go meet a bunch of people, I am much happier just having someone join me in my comfort zone hahahaha. I couldn't imagine being married to an extravert.... that sounds exhausting lol

[@dogdonut3]

@@bunny_0288 I'm an intj married to an esfp. It can be exhausting. A fascinating adventure, but budgeting my energy is pretty important!

[@myusername3162]

Infps are like abstract paintings with individuality, expression prominent with lots of detail without losing fluidity. Its like looking at chaos or nothing and seeing beauty.

[@PVolkovX]

As a (single, lol) INTJ I can attest that the easiest way to make them angry is to delay/disrupt their plans, unless that distraction proves to be useful. If an INTJ makes time for you is because they *really* like you, and wasting their time running late or canceling at the last minute is a serious offense. (Also show appreciation for their solutions even when they don’t seem to care, they secretly love it)

[@Nylbereth]

Arelarez thank you for your insight as an INTJ. My significant other is of the same type and running late has definitely been a source of conflict to put it mildly. I didn’t realize why it was so important to them.

[@escapedgarbage]

Lolol, definitely true. My infp friend knows that her contact name is “imprecise” in my phone simply because of her tendency to run late or cancel last minute

[@llezmollah217]

As a INTJ, I almost beat the fuck outta my brother yesterday for wasting my time. Had to give him the silent treatment or he was waking up in the hospital

[@robgoodsight6216]

Yup!100% agree!

[@lovewho]

Well said ~ Nathan

[@anna.t._7224]

As an intj I find it very easy to connect with infp’s for some reason as one of my best friends is one. The only thing I can’t stand is when they walk very slowly daydreaming in front of me when I need to get somewhere. I can’t stand slow walkers.

[@doodlemunchkin2222]

Anna T29 * sweats in guilty INFP *

[@kaoriheartfilia2783]

Honestly, as an INFP, same.

[@FalconWindblader]

I'm INFP & damn, slow walkers get on my nerves. It's not like i'd always be walking with an air of purpose, but being so much in my daydream state when i'm around others so much that i can't even walk right, is something i outright forbid myself from doing.

[@lovewho]

Haha this made me laugh! ~ Nathan

[@five5x]

My INTJ hubby walks fast only when he has somewhere to go. I get out of his way and trail behind. When he doesn't have a place to be, my god it's like standing still. He's like that in everything. 100mph when he has a goal. If not, I'll find him in bed, not moving.

[@noraflood6482]

argh! INTJs are sooo cute - and so hot! they're like cute, weird, manly robots

[@PkmnRayhak]

ENFP?

[@atikhanovesy2152]

Lol that manly robots true af

[@noraflood6482]

@@PkmnRayhak haha infp on caffeine

[@ashiyaa8624]

They're like oddly cute!! Their uniqueness make it stands out among others -infp-

[@mariobros7834]

We are not robots. I still don't know if that is good or bad.

[@kirawasadiver]

INTJ with an INFP partner - very important to not suffocate the INFP with lots of plans. especially long term obligations and instead respect the INFP's ability to understand how things can change. and also have to agree about the passions thing. one of the best thing about my INFP is that he always appreciates my ideas and hobbies, taking them very seriously and nourishing my confidence in those passions

[@janaeharker6639]

I'm an infp and my husband is an intj. We often joke that I have enough emotion for the two of us and that he has enough logic for us. Where we lack, we support each other.

[@uyen9423]

Hope i can be like you😻😻

[@Valkoinenhai]

I feel like my INFP friend was definitely the kind of "muse" for me whenever I struggled with work or even artistic projects. They were also incredibly tuned into my sometimes chaotic way of explaining an idea or a project, but they always managed to just GET my idea and properly put it into words. Also their sensitivity to my emotional needs was way ahead of my own - they just knew when I needed their support, and I rarely had to ask for it. They also offered me some really interesting ways to see the world differently (for example spiritually) and taught me a lesson about being able to "feel" for people even if I didn't necessarily "understand" them. A tough one still, for sure. I don't think if I was ever able to be the kind of friend THEY wanted me to be (more present, more supportive, more sensitive, less selfish and blunt) but I'm grateful for the time we had during our "prime time", I learned so much from them.

[@lovewho]

Excellent comment. Learning lessons and gaining value from the people we meet in life is essential but oddly rare I've found! ~ Nathan

[@riverjude9505]

I feel touched by your words when u said you intj learned so much from an infp, even tho im not your infp friend I could guarantee that your infp def will get touched and moved by your little confession :) I hope I could meet you guys intj someday irl even tho I have several intj online crushes already

[@kenzauter6626]

As an INTJ who has been partnered (married) to an INFP for over 40 years I can say this analysis was spot-on! My wife is, at heart, a poet (whose career has been in an English Department of a large university) and I am an analytical philosopher (who spent most of my career as a computer programmer). A great example of what he is saying here is when my wife and I in our mid 20’s spent an enormous amount of time together in the deep woods hiking. Though neither of us talked much during our outings we both enjoyed them immensely, but assimilated our experiences quite differently. She was inspired primarily poetically. She wrote some of her best poems during this period (not that I am a competent critic of poetry at all). And I had enormous philosophical “breakthroughs” during this period. Since it’s the only marriage I’ve ever had, I can’t say the INTJ / INFP pairing is a “good one” or not. All I can say is, though it’s been incredibly difficult for us at times, it’s worked out quite beautifully. I think something that comes easily to this pairing and not necessarily others is that giving each other the space we needed to work through things came organically to us. I found her constant urging to try new “experimental” films or go to art museums with her both initially annoying but then often times quite enriching. She, in turn, found my cerebral and systematic approach to some of her life problems far too cold, detached and calculating initially...until they worked.

[@theJOURNEYTOGODdiaries]

Until they worked 🤣👍🏻 (Found myself (INFP) often in this position with my (INTJ) husband!

[@MrLanceDaily]

INFPs are some of my closest friends. I think in general, for me as an INTJ, I would prefer platonic relationships with INFPs. I’m married to an ISFJ which is supposedly the worst pairing but we’ve been together for a decade now. I think it’s less about type and more about communication and respect.

[@t5396]

Why would you think that INTJs and ISFJs are a poor match?

[@karolinasowinska]

@@K2142F What you're saying sounds interesting, have you got a link to that "pairs theory"? Superego pairs, golden pairs, bronze pairs... - could you explain it briefly ? :)

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

I think respect is the base of it, but if there aren't shared goals or interests, it will fall flat on its face.

[@t5396]

@@K2142F CS Joseph talks about this? Is this member's only stuff?

[@jessenceq3250]

@@t5396 I remember watching those videos quite awhile ago. Maybe even 2018.

[@midoribugackt]

My brother is an INFP, I am an INTJ. When we were younger, we don't click that much. And one day, he threw me the MBTI. I studied it in 1-2days. And now, we're a great team! HAHA

[@lovewho]

That’s hilarious!! Some serious INTJ strategy right there! ~ Nathan

[@antoinettenovella1630]

That is awesome and beautiful. Love that.

[@friedeggie]

I’m INTJ female & my best friend is INFP female. Before I met her, I struggled a lot with finding a female friend & just always got along better with guys. But exactly like you said, their eccentric nature paired with integrity is what made me like her bc she wasn’t just a stereotypical girl that I had a hard time relating to. Healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in, we’ve been besties for 10 years now.

[@Heatherpepper248]

This is so sweet!

[@valej9387]

"Don't you just love it when someone who's not in a relationship gives relationship advice?" 😂😂😂😂😂 Well, here's someone who's not in a relationship and of neither aforementioned personality type, ready to learn something she may never use. 😂😂😂

[@lovewho]

Oh wow, well I admire your desire for information! Also nice to be in the same single boat as you ~ Nathan

[@cinthiagoch]

"here's someone who's not in a relationship and of neither aforementioned personality type, ready to learn something she may never use" Are you a fellow INTP?

[@valej9387]

@@cinthiagoch Yes. 😉

[@Wisprea]

Do any other INFPs have really hard time making hard choices? Or even small choices? Sometimes i feel pressured in those situations especially if there is a time limit and people are asking me to choose quickly when i am trying to pick the best option in my head. Those times really stress me out

[@earlminyang]

Decisions.. even little ones I find stressful..

[@FalconWindblader]

I have no problems with small ones half the time, cuz i'm very consciously telling myself it won't matter at the end of the day anyway. I simply limit the amount of 'care' i give to matters most of the time, else i'd end up caring too much & well, that'd impair judgment. Big decisions… well, just like most INFPs, i'm gonna need time…

[@earlminyang]

@@FalconWindblader ​ Yes, as long as there is space, time and freedom around a need to make a decision, its ok.. Its just that there are too many variables to take into account..

[@meredith18352]

Yep, that is Ne parent for you. Hard to make a decision when you can see so many possibilities. Took me 3 days to pick the colour of my Apple watch🤣

[@janaecruz3432]

for almost everything since i was a little girl :) i would spend like 1-2 hours trying to decide what i want on my subway sandwhich :))) .... i am MUCH better now thankfully... but sometimes its still very hard trying to decide on somethings

[@Fikamar27]

I'm an INFP who accidentally met an INTJ girl at class, and boom suddenly being friends for 9 years, until now. I like how she is the one who helped growing logical side to me, thus helping me to stack my life and imaginations in proper way. Because I'm a total mess at those. I don't know what did I do for the return, but she just keep saying that I helped her listening her chats, helped to calm her. Again, as she is often being blunt, I did believe her 😅 Our communication ... we do like talking, but we agreed to not forcing each other to always quick replying because both of us need the 'healing time'. So I never have the feelings of being abandoned when she is not replying soon, or vice versa. Hope the friendship between us can last forever :)

[@ugay9379]

Are you sure you're not being friendzoned?

[@cloudyxindomie5064]

@@ugay9379 😂

[@hfortenberry]

Awe, that sounds like a really sweet friendship. I am INTJ and I too adore INFPs.

[@hfortenberry]

@@cloudyxindomie5064 Rude

[@Fikamar27]

@@ugay9379 uhhh not everything have to be ended in romantic. Sometimes able to keep a friendship till now is already a good achievement 😅 Also ps: I'm female lol

[@fabledtreasures5915]

My INTJ and I (INFP) have been together for just a few months shy of 22 years (married alllllmost 21 years - we got married nine months after we met). Your analysis was great and captured both the highlights and the pitfalls of our relationship. We make a great team and have a lot of fun together, too. One of our biggest hurdles has been understanding how the other thinks and communicates. Learning our MBTI types and cognitive functions has helped greatly with that. I'm now able to see the love he lives out every day and the care he expresses through his practical solutions and criticisms. Frankly, the love he silently showers on me is astounding. I feel both lucky and grateful that we are together.

[@lovewho]

"Silently showers" this is very poetic and very accurate. Sometimes it's hard to see a persons intent when they express it differently to yourself ~ Nathan

[@cecitrigos5810]

What a beautiful love story...I´m an INFP and have met for the first time an INTJ, and I´m totally fascinated...

[@fabledtreasures5915]

@@cecitrigos5810 I wasn't interested in my husband at all when I first met him. Then he challenged me to a game of tennis. When he called to arrange the details, we ended up talking for hours, and I realized there was so much more to him than met the eye. I hope you get to develop a rich friendship (or more) with your INTJ.

[@gyoutube542]

I found MBTI K-Drama!! It’s Cool!! 😆 How do you think of this MBTI character?? kzbin.info/www/bejne/foKbgox-ft-EfcU

[@jsmith317]

21, almost 22 here, too. You described us pretty well, and I also feel so showered. ♥️

[@tulips7465]

INTJ female here with an INFP bf. Everything you said was spot on. I am so laser focused and intense in everything I do which causes me to feel burnt out at times. And my INFP bf is always there to calm me down. And when I am stuck in a rut, I am always amazed at his new perspective of things. INTJs are so prone to tunnel vision. And I bring structure and order to his life, which he highly appreciates too.

[@rachel1576e]

Shout out to the INFPs who are fully functional adults with high self esteem. Thanks for the video. I believe any two types can work together as long as they appreciate and understand their differences and treat each other with respect and kindness.

[@sa-le4mj]

this comment is depressing

[@EvilSapphireR]

Yup. Extremely functional. Doesn't mean I don't feel like a fraud though.

[@H3XED_OwO]

A not very functional INFP teenager with low self esteem here... thx for future me ig

[@shellbell8062]

@@H3XED_OwO INFP''s definitely come into their own later on. I was a mess in my 20's and even 30's and now I have true confidence and an excellent grip on who I am and what I stand for. I can honestly say that I have a deeper inner confidence than any of my extroverted friends. One thing I don't hear mentioned about us much is that we are STEALTHY. I can sniff out a lie and a fraud in a second and I can see people's motives a mile away. You will get there.

[@michelledoan4447]

I would also like to point out that the xNFP types value words of affirmation as one of their primary love languages. This needs to be verified, but I think the synergy of xNTJ/xNFP love duo will improve significantly if xNTJ learn to give words of encouragement to xNFP more often. This will take the edge off of xNFP from their exhausting emotional explorations and self-doubts. - An ENFP

[@micahmock3505]

Noted. Thanks

[@kristinsayshello7167]

INFP here, can confirm that words of encouragement help! I get defiant if I'm pushed in any way but being told that I'm doing good will motivate me.

[@terezarasovska8346]

so true - INFP

[@Mtnboy2012]

100% (infp)

[@lisalanden]

As an INFP, for me, words of affirmation have to be given minimally and authentically. Too much and it loses its meaning or feels inauthentic and like manipulation. Words of affirmation are not my main love language...actions and time mean so much more.

[@abadi173]

the best advice i can give an INTJ who is in a relationship with an INFP or ISFP since my mother is an ISFP and one of my aunts is an INFP the other is an ISFP, i advice you to be gentle and state your intentions when you give an advice to them, and let them know that you care about their feelings and its not your intention to hurt their feeling, its VERY important that you do so, otherwise your advice might look like a personal attack to them, but trust me they will love you if you state your feelings to them before or after the advice, sometimes they might not be in the mood but most of the time they will understand, but you also have to keep in mind that they might not listen to your advice so don't get upset, these types do what they want, its very hard to convince them to do the right thing if its not inline with their desires, so again, don't get upset if they don't listen and just let it go.

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

I wanted to type this, but you already did! Well said!

[@aimieleeb]

I wish I could have known mbti and my best friend’s type before we ‘separated’. Everything makes so much more sense now. I constantly tried to help her (ISFP) in every bad situation she got into but my logical way of approaching things never got through to her. It caused a lot of anger and desperation, because she never listened. I understand now what I did wrong. I should have supported her way, instead of forcing her to take mine. Sometimes it’s just terribly hard to express what you’re feeling.

[@vyshnavreddy9201]

You typed your ant!!??

[@abadi173]

@@vyshnavreddy9201 i type everyone i come across on a daily basis, even my gym receptions, I don't rely on test or tell them, im just guessing on the top of my head, based on how to act or say.

[@janaecruz3432]

@ abadi what is your type? intj? ... -infp

[@FluffDragonArt]

INFP married to an INTJ for going on 10 years now and I can validate just about all of this, haha! Being patient with each other is probably the best advice I can give. It takes time for either of us to really come out of our shells and share with each other our deepest thoughts and emotions. There have been moments where my husband didn't exactly know how deep my emotions ran and vice versa, or that we didn't know what the other was thinking because we'd hide or suppress it (me, due to not wanting to create conflict). As we've been patient with each other and openly admired each other's creativity, independence, and innovation, an incredible, intuitive communication has blossomed and we can tell when the other has had a hard day without any external indicators. Because we've made each other our priorities (one of us usually starts it and the other follows, it's about equal who's who), we're able to tackle the difficult decisions together and harmonize on parenting our two kids, working on a video game streaming business, and accomplishing our own, personal goals at appropriate times, keeping each other in check when one of us gets ahead of ourselves, because that happens a LOT. XD I cannot stress enough how important it is to SPEAK UP. SAY the hard things while also expressing your affection for each other. I've said some tough truths to my husband and he's told me some tough truths about myself. The key is to recognize that it is from a place of love and wanting the other person to become the absolute best they can be.

[@jsmith317]

☝This! Yup.

[@judsongaiden9878]

INTJs often express love in the form of "Acts of Service" (in Five Love Languages terms). And I mean love as a general concept, not specific to intimacy. INFPs like to give "Words of Affirmation" (which might explain why so many of them make great poets). This works out great because we INTJs need Words of Affirmation. Some of us might pretend that we don't, but that's just part of our classic "stoicism as a D-FENS mechanism" a go go.

[@terezarasovska8346]

I think thats spot on...And we INFPs need words of affirmation hehe

[@judsongaiden9878]

@@terezarasovska8346 u///w///u

[@jennabonnichsen]

As an infp, I like the idea of this relationship. But in my daily life, the lack of feeling and emotional support from intj hurts me so much that it affects my health. I need feeling. Feeling is breathing.

[@psychsephone9832]

I’m in the best relationship of my life with an INFP (though I have dated an immature one before and that was terrible-same with an immature ENFP). The shared Fi and intuition makes it like us against the world, and the difference in Te essentially boils down to him somehow struggling to fit a square shaped box in a square shaped hole and me just throwing it in there like “that’s where the fuck that goes”. I’ve never gotten the ‘INTJs hate fun/surprises’ thing since it’s more like ‘I love fun, I just want to plan it so the fun is maximized’. My complete inability to just be in the moment and not plan a single thing gets on my INFP’s nerves since planning makes him more anxious, not less

[@ajaywankhede1905]

I think the way you right your comment is a proof that you are the only real INTJ out of all the 100 commenters..hahahah you stated your point in very efficient and effective manner

[@noraflood6482]

'us against the world' is *that* feeling when i'm w an intj ~infp

[@psychsephone9832]

Ajay Wankhede Thank you. Ain’t nobody got time for a 10 page essay in a comments section

[@five5x]

I've been with my INTJ for 15 years, planning has never been the issue. It's when he plans and how much of it that drives me crazy. Especially, when he talks about said plans for weeks. He starts talking and I feel my stress levels go through the roof, but not so much anymore. I see how much he loves it. Like a kid in a candy store who knows exactly what he's getting and at what time he's going to the candy store. Probably in the morning because he's not waiting around. I see the value in planning. It's not as if we INFP's live all willy nilly, but the fun is in the moment. If I have to think about fun and plan fun you have sucked the life out of it. It's now feels like I'm getting ready for a board meeting. Because we are so driven by moods, they tend to dictate how and when we do things. I don't know how I am going to feel at 8pm on a friday night two weeks from now. You feel awesome because you know when and what you are doing. There's peace in knowing. I now gotta make sure I am in the right mood, but the plans are fucking with my mood and the incessant talking of said plans reminds me again and again I must be happy Friday at 8pm. We INFP's need structure and planning for some things. It's great knowing some things are finite. That way we can go wander off and explore whatever we are feeling in that moment and come back to familiar territory. INTJ's are great familiar territory. I can walk out of my house right now and do whatever I wanted for hours, but it feels amazing when all that's done, I come home to my INTJ. And like a true INFP I could go on forever, but I gotta stop myself because I know if an INTJ is reading this they are probably bored to death, unless they was something here they benefited from.

[@purplemind93]

LOL at the square box conundrum! xD

[@theimprobableone8635]

I’m an INFP and my husband is and INTJ, he definitely is my source of reason and grounds me in reality when I need it. His insight on my “paranoia” is that my mind acts like: if I think something might happen that means it’ll happen/is likely to happen, which after he pointed this out it has helped me realize where some of my imaginings can become harmful to my mental health.

[@shvlamarts]

I'm an INFP and been dating an INTJ for over a month now. We've clicked from the get-go, I honestly think he's the one. Whenever I get riled up with my emotions he literally digs and digs and digs until I tell him everything, he really pushes me to logically solve my emotional problems. I can get really riled up and frustrated with the deep emotions I feel but he makes sure he grounds me. INTJs are the besttttt argh!

[@H3XED_OwO]

INFP here, this sounds like my ENTJ friend :3

[@quriosadesign]

Thanks for the cool advices, Nathan! INFP here. My INTJ best friend is really.. the best person I've ever met. She jokes around saying that if she wasn't married already she would marry me because we get along so well and she feels safe and understood with me. Btw I'm not lesbian but would make an exception for her lol

[@lovewho]

Glad you enjoyed the video and the last sentence made me laugh! ~ Nathan

[@gyoutube542]

I found MBTI K-Drama!! It’s Cool!! 😆 How do you think of this MBTI character?? kzbin.info/www/bejne/foKbgox-ft-EfcU

[@tulips7465]

As an INTJ with an INFP best friend, this is so relatable! She actually said that if we were both lesbians, she would marry me. 😂 And what do you know, my bf is INFP. My sister is INFP. I Love INFPs! Haha

[@thevorpalbard7245]

I'm an INFP with a close INTJ friend. Part of why out friendship works is that I grew up among thinkers (INTJ mom, ISTP dad, and ENTP brother) and know how they work, how to deal with them/their feelings, and that all of them are giant softies. Plus, logic is one of my values, so there's synergy. I know that when he's critical of one of my stories, he's trying to help. He doesn't cushion his advice with compliments because he doesn't see the need to. I can put aside my feelings, assess the situation, and come out feeling better because I know I'm getting honest feedback. When he (or any of my thinkers, really) has to deal with something emotional or abstract, whether it's his feelings or those of other people, I can translate all of the sentimental feelings stuff I speak in into his language. Plus the sarcasm is top notch. So, yeah, INFPs and INTJs can make a surprisingly good team. :)

[@lovewho]

Ok that is really interesting! An INFP growing up in a household of thinkers would have a much higher tolerance and better understanding of that approach to life. The impact of who we grow up with is rarely discussed! ~ Nathan

[@ugay9379]

@@lovewho I'm INFP growing up with ESTJ ESFJ parents and I got a good INTJ friend too. I'm not sure though if I would ever want to be in a relationship with a female version of him haha.

[@rikawithshotgun]

@@lovewho I'm yet another INFP here who grew up literally surrounded by thinking types, and I would say that in my case that experience definitely gave me not only a strong tolerance for them, but also a strong preference, especially for INTJs since I grew up with like four of them and it's the type I know best aside from my own.

[@thelaurelwreathismine4805]

I'm an INTJ, I don't really feel like the fit thing is needed so it goes like if I can't find a man who loves and adore me I'm set to be alone for life. I mean I'll be happy to have both but if I have to choose, I don't need a perfect match cuz I'm the match for myself 😂😂. Plus if everything is perfect there won't be any fun.

[@soapmaker2263]

INFPs, moreso than any other type, bring out a protective instinct in me. They're too precious for this world.

[@keertihardasani6486]

I am an INTJ female and i broke up with my INFP boyfriend of 5 years. What you said is quite accurate. We were very independent and open minded as 2 individuals. We had common interests and frequent intellectual conversations. I admired him for being kind, helping, creative and a perfectionist , he admired how independent, ambitious and organized i was. But.. Anything i said was always taken personally even when the advice might benefit him. He always took them as personal attacks like I'm questioning his competence rather than taking it as a casual advice. So obviously i was given the title of being overly critical and insensitive. Mind you sometimes i tend to be overly critical but he took every fucking thing so personally. He was sensitive but quite immature when it came to dealing with his own emotions. He was quite defensive and ignored a problem till it became very huge. I was insensitive and ungrateful at times. When I ended things with him, one of the important reason i gave him was his lack of punctuality. He made me wait all the time, changed plans at last minute all the time when I constantly asked him not to do that. He was quite unapologetic about it. It became so annoying over time. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that I'm breaking up because of an issue like that but I guess the whole thing is about respecting someone and their time.

[@CreatureOfGoddess]

Sounds like you have HIM and HIS problems all figured out. I'm sure he'll benefit greatly from all your stern analysis. Thanks for sharing 😉 Be blessed y'all 🙏

[@Nylbereth]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m in INFP and yes... I have driven my INTJ Significant other completely nuts and furious (really the only time he gets angry) by being late and thinking it wasn’t such a big deal. He developed a strategy : he knows I’m going to putz around to a certain degree so he tells me right off the bat that I need to get ready half an hour earlier so I end up being on time ahah. Also he relabeled his constructive criticism as « just a gentle reminder ». He’s usually right too.

[@dirtywhitellama]

Sounds like the one time I dated an INFP.... After the first couple times he slept through his alarm (third shifter) I realized I couldn't plan on him making it happen, and if it was important arranged to call him an hour ahead to make sure he was actually awake XD

[@kyunnmmm3097]

I hate when people aren’t punctual because is annoying and a lack of respect for the other person even tho I forget about it depending of the person who did it. Me, an INFP, have two INFP friends and one day we decided to go bowling. I arrived 15 min before the estimated hour. I waited for them for more than an hour. One of them was still working (I understood that, but then why don’t accommodate the hour so is confortable for all of us) and the other one came later because she was sleeping. In the end, I was annoyed but I forgot about that because we had a good time together and it was fun being with them. In the other hand, when I traveled to Italy for school, the Italian girl who I was living with would ALWAYS come pick me up 1 hour later and change the location last minute where she was going to pick me up. I could go by myself, but my Italian skills and shyness wouldn’t work for me. And istg she had a strange vibe since I dm her before traveling.

[@hfortenberry]

@@dirtywhitellama Frankly, disrespecting someone's time is just that, disrespectful, doesn't matter what type you are. People have lives and we don't sit around waiting for you to decide whether or not you are going to show up. If that happens more than 3 times, I have to assume the person is just not that into me and I'm out.

[@Leo-kj4yh]

I'm an INTJ and all my friends are INFP...

[@lovewho]

Interesting! ~ Nathan

[@niharikarai6493]

Omg same! Even my crush is an infp lol

[@LeticiaAlves-hs9no]

Really? Im intj and i have so many problems If infp types Hard to be friends with an infp

[@istiu4319]

I'm the same. The people I easily get along with usually turns out to be INFPs. More like they're the type who initiates the conversation between us first and at the same time the type I'm willing to talk to. ENFPs, or at least those I've met, were too flaky. While NFJs tend to make good first impressions but also make me feel emotionally manipulated in the long run. INFPs, at least for me, give me a good balance of Fi-Te that I can get along with for a long time.

[@tinkershell1856]

Not a romantic relationship, but my INTJ son and INFP self get along better than any other relationship either of us have ever had. He is currently getting to know an INFP girl and it’s going very well so far.

[@aquaazania]

My mom is an INTJ and I’m an INFP. This is so spot on, she’s really taught me from a young age to at least have some kind of base structure or plan before I go aimlessly wandering which has resulted in me never really being too removed from reality and not being as flaky as I would be otherwise (my mama raised me better than that 😅). In turn, as I’ve gotten older I’ve sort of challenged her narrower ideals and helped her see things from different perspectives which I think has made her happier. There are things she can’t be moved on and there are things I can’t be moved on but ultimately we really are just the best of friends and we’re always considerate about the way in which we bring up disagreements. It took me a while to realize that trying to fix things for me or trying to show me the best way to organize things was her way of showing that she loves me, but once I understood that I just appreciated her more

[@doodlemunchkin2222]

*“There’s a reason why INTJs are often portrayed as the mastermind pulling the strings, and an INFP as the hero of the story who finds themself caught up in a grand adventure by accident.”* Literally summed up the time I befriended an INTJ and talked to him on and off for maybe 3 months before realizing that almost the entire time he was looking at our relationship as a romantic one, while I was simply thinking of it as a friendship. I was too oblivious to even realize he basically thought we were dating at that point...until it came boiling over in a rather awkward conversation. lol 😂😅 I feel like I’m usually pretty good at gaging when someone is attracted to me, I had a small feeling he might’ve felt that way, but it still genuinely threw me off guard. I suppose he thought I liked him from the way I’d always answer his texts, the open friendliness and concern, or maybe just the way I showed interests in his hobbies and ideas. Those are just guesses. I still genuinely have no clue what he saw in me that attracted him, or what made him think I felt the same lol. I’m sure we were both at fault because as an INFP, I’m just a natural sucker for jumping for the chance at meaningful conversations and creating deep bonds with someone, without really paying attention to possible context clues as quickly..(because I’m stuck in my own head), while I know INTJs are often not all that skilled in romance or expressing it in ways that are as obvious as other types would. So basically: he thought he had me...when in actuality I had no idea what was going on. I just thought he seemed like he needed a friend, and was genuinely curious about what thoughts and feelings were hidden behind that quiet and reserved exterior. ...Either way...I get myself into the oddest situations. But I will say the time we did talk it was always interesting, because you could definitely see the difference in the way our minds worked when a topic like favorite books would come up...and one’s answer was books about the history of economics and the other a novel about cats..haha Of course I got interested enough to play with the ideas of “what ifs” and checked this video out but it was definitely as amusing as it was insightful.

[@auragedon4552]

Ahh, as a fem INTJ, I can say he made a really foolish move 🤔 I always assume nobody is interested in me and everybody just want to use me or be my friends, so if somebody turns out to be interested in me I'm just surprised and then start to think if they can be a potential partners 🤷‍♀️ like, I have a problem with analyzing people intentions so I prefer to play it always safe 🤔 but maybe he really wanted to be with you (or generally in relationship and turned out you were compatibile in his opinion) so he started to look for this small clues, analyze it (with the data on the internet and experience) and you know, when you really want to see something, you'll see it (delusions yay) 😁

[@doodlemunchkin2222]

Lena Aura Ah yeah..I know it was likely just a bad slip up on his part more than anything, because I would assume he would’ve been more cautious and straightforward from the beginning in how he felt and wanting to know how I felt, but I honestly just think he’s quite too shy to have been more open about it. But I always feel bad about it because looking back on our interactions from a different perspective, I can start to see the clues and signs that he was giving me, and I think you might be right. He probably just really liked me, because there were so many times from what I just assumed were friendly gestures/gifts/accompaniment, were probably him going out of his way to spend time with me or make me feel happy. I only began to question the motives a little more when I started to realize he didn’t do the same to such extremes for his other friends, but I was a bit in denial by then, (thanks to my friends assuring that it didn’t mean anything) and assumed he was just showing appreciation for the things I would do for him. It’s funny you say that about yourself though, because I was thinking he probably thought I was a little immature and stupid with the way some of our interests would lean. So when he told me he liked me all I could think of was: W h y ?

[@auragedon4552]

@@doodlemunchkin2222 I don't think he thought about you as an immature person, I think he would focus more on himself when everything was solved out, and as you started to look for his clues he for sure started looking at his clues in different light too (it's not your fault you behave this way, as a human being we are all very different, what one person think is obvious for others can be something they never do (like I recently found out that sharing daily stuff that are unimportant or kinda private ( for ex why should they care what I ate for breakfast) with classmates makes them like you more, because if you don't share then they think you're full of yourself, even if for my personality a lot of stuff should be private, but it's not so obvious for other personalities)) he should definitely take a benefit of the doubt from the beginning, definitely miscommunication but if I had to choose the side, I'd take yours because relationship is something less natural to happen than friendship and both sides should decide if they're in relationship. In friendship I think people don't ask "hey, are you my friend now?", it's more intuitional process, but relationship needs this question 🤷‍♀️

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

I think that is mostly a move of some men. Had an infp male pull that on me lmao

[@t5396]

@@DiamondsRexpensive Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrhea cha cha cha!

[@earlminyang]

As an INFP with an INTJ, I would say this is an absolutely spookily spot on accurate analysis of the 'odd couple' that we are.. It has been very helpful to find out what MBTI types we are, as I found him to be incredibly harsh and critical at first.. And of course criticism is not received too well as an INFP as we know.. so I would say in my case its been very useful to understand how people function in that way... and not to take things the INTJ's say too personally.. It is an odd kind of synergy.. we help each other a lot. Very well put together video. Thank you.

[@lovewho]

Glad to hear that you enjoyed it and found it accurate! ~ Nathan

[@blackoceancreativeuniverse]

i think INFP women are mesmerizing and otherworldly. its a bit like the 2 shapeshifters in the movie Ladyhawke (Rutger Hauer and Michelle Pfeiffer), because of never being in synch for long periods. did you just imply that the Beatles are the French Toast of rock music?

[@ivanaa.1968]

Intj here, dating an INFP. Our relationship is mostly great, i usually need about 4 years to open up to someone, with him it was 1 month. The main problem in our relationship is our goals and work style. My main priority is art and succeeding in it. Even when im not working, im thinking of what to do next. He, on the other hand, is a great writer but barely works and chooses to focus on drawing. But he's slow with that too. I have this "I'll rest when im dead" mentality, while he's believes that it's perfectly fine if you start working or going to collage at 30/40 years old. I'm hopeful that we'll find a middle ground though.

[@sash8099]

Inferior functions are hard to work with

[@terezarasovska8346]

lol that basically sums it up

[@mr.t993]

INFP speaking from experience -> The "P" stands for procrastination

[@FiNe_SiTe]

INFP married to INTJ. Best union we've ever known. We balance each other so well.

[@lovewho]

Dream team combination! If you guys are interested feel free to both join the love who discord server, you might enjoy it on there! ~ Nathan

[@cjp592]

I would have to say he understands INTJ intimately well. I am a woman and an INTJ. Plus I am an only child. My parents noticed that I was distant and cold as a child. So, their response was to put in social settings-sports, music, church projects, volunteering the less fortunate to build up my social and ability to empathize with people. His descriptions and explanations are on point! When I was a teenager I intentionally (intent) and consciously decided to date extroverts or outgoing types. Though they were extroverts there were recurring traits about them. They had values that aligned with mine. I’ve always had interest in the human psyche not to control people but to understand myself and others so I can navigate the world with less angst. Though my relationships were frustrating I wouldn’t change them for the world. They’ve helped me in many ways be a better person. Connecting the dots and looking past the obvious I feel is one of my strengths that I wouldn’t change. I do wish sometimes I wasn’t so comfortable with my own space and company. Self reliance is extremely important to me. Including not needing anyone to define who I am. I look at relationships not to change me but to make me a better person. I don’t really like being cold and distant. 😎

[@kssgpv]

that is so sweet

[@febriani0711]

There's a lot of INTPxINTJ maried couple in the comment omg..... I'm an INFP and my bf is an INTJ and yes i can see a clear future with him, and he also values me so much. I'm manifesting to get married w him one day.... Ameen 🙏

[@dorazilahi9277]

I'm INFP. I have long term relationship with my INTJ boyfriend. I think we really complete each other and I can agree the description broadly. Fun fact our carriers are saying a lot because I'm gonna be a photographer (I'm thinking about to study psychology to be a mental health professional afterwards) and he on the way to be an electronic engineer. Our relationship is very give and take. We are understand and help each other to reach our life goals.

[@andreaschmider]

I (INFP) have been in a relationship with an INTJ for over 26 years now - and your assessment is spot on. Together we own 2 businesses: an engineering firm and a creative vocal studio (I let you guess which one is whose 😉). I feel like we are somewhat the poster couple for an INTJ-INFP pairing (he has given me soo many helpful tools for the business side of my creative musings) - but we can still get better and grow as a couple. Thank you for this inspirational video!

[@dexdalador]

I sincerely wish everyone knew these things about us, intjs, so there would be a lot less people looking at us like crazy people and lot less explanation would be needed. On the subject, I only had one date with an infp, she was dreamy, I unintentionally tried to control the whole conversation.. We never had a 2nd date

[@five5x]

An INTJ controlling the whole conversation? That can't be true. lol It's impossible for most people to get you. The world would be an odd place if everyone understood INTJ's and vastly more boring. It takes the right people and honestly you're an INTJ, you are only going to give the time of day to the right people. Could you imagine the people who annoy you the most knowing how you work? My god, I would think that would be your worst nightmare. You might have to explain things far more that you care too, but I think the alternative would be worse.

[@LOLfunnyshit1234]

this is exactly what happened to me, except im the infp. Im an infp female who had a date with an intj and he controlled the entire conversation and came very prepared. Felt like I was listening to a class presentation.

[@dexdalador]

@@LOLfunnyshit1234 if he's anything like me, he probably wanted to engineer a good experience for you. We're kind of insecure about the experience we give to other people, so we try to overcome that by preparing and trying to control the situation.

[@LOLfunnyshit1234]

@@dexdalador makes sense, but why are you insecure about the experience

[@deliriumbruises]

Thank you, your videos on INFPs makes me feel less loss in a systematic society that is constantly calling me aimless, directionless and bizarre.

[@nikithavincent1158]

* ENFPs claiming INTJs as their OTP distressed *

[@lotus8377]

Lmao yes

[@kimberleywhite3188]

the infps are finally claiming their true mbti soulmates ;)

[@Maryam-sn2mz]

@@kimberleywhite3188 totally agree ❤

[@smickle42]

INFPs: all the benefits of a book but a human.

[@brendangolledge8312]

My views on relationships are that the more similar people are, the easier it is for them to get along, but the less they have to learn from one another. So I agree with the view that those types that share the same functions but in a different order probably go well together, since they value the same things, but one is strong where the other is weak. In this view, INTJs and INFPs are likely to see a lot of common ground in Fi and Ni. I don't see a lot of space of obvious friction since the INTJ's blind spot is the INFP's ignoring function, and the INFP's blind spot is the INTJ's inferior function. So they are both similarly disinterested in the same sorts of things. If, however, one or both partners are having life problems from neglect of Se or Fe, this relationship is unlikely to be able to help them in that regard. An INTJ and INFJ in contrast, would have more areas of conflict, but if they were mature enough to make it work, they would be able to support each other more. I believe the more mature the partners are, the easier it is for them to deal with personality differences. The INFP for instance, in the INTJ and INFP pairing, ought to have developed to the point where they at least respect Te, since Te is an important part of the INTJ's personality. The INTJ would similarly have to develop their Fi at least a little for the relationship to work. So, I suppose the minimum maturity requirement for this pairing to work is probably a little bit higher for the INFP than the INTJ. But reaching this level of maturity is totally possible, much easier than for some other parings. I'm an INTJ and I've had romantic interests in INFPs before, and it was generally quite pleasant, especially after I developed my Fi more and learned not to hit them quite so hard on the head with Te. I suppose it felt pleasant because I was not forced to try to compromise on anything (like valuing Fe). Entering an INFP's world for me is more about just shifting priorities a little bit which I already have, rather than forcing myself to respect something which I do not want to respect.

[@lovewho]

Very well said ~ Nathan

[@nailachoudhury3795]

That is really fascinating, thanks so much for sharing! The fact that the infp needs to be a tad bit more mature for a higher chance of things working makes perfect sense when explained like this

[@gyoutube542]

I found MBTI K-Drama!! It’s Cool!! 😆 How do you think of this MBTI character?? kzbin.info/www/bejne/foKbgox-ft-EfcU

[@EmilieSagae]

INFP here. I would say I have quite a harmonious relationship with my INTJ partner and we understand each other well. I do however feel very self-centered at times, and like I'm not challenged on this. When I've asked my partner about it, he is shocked that I feel this way and proceeds to tell me how caring I am (which I don't see). I feel like my INTJ 'carries' me through life at times, even though he somehow seems very happy with me? At times I feel directionless and helpless, though I know I can do things independently when required (e.g. work, study - I've even travelled alone). My partner has the motivation to carry out meaningful projects, whereas left to my own devices I would generally give up at the first hurdle. I admire his determination and commitment to creativity and entrepreneurship - things I find impossible. I haven't even developed any of my talents properly because I lack self-esteem and self-discipline. I used to sing and write, but I gave up because I can't focus for long enough periods, and I abandon projects even when I know I have good concepts to work with. My partner also makes most of our 'small' decisions because I'm not great at decision-making, or I just don't have strong enough feelings about certain things. It could be where we go to eat, or what movie we see for instance. This is my perception anyway, which may not be entirely accurate

[@TheElenaparker]

You're very lucky then, how did u meet? How did he fall for you? And how long have you been together?

[@Mayakran]

I’m not entirely sure of the significance (if there is any), but my INFP friends are the ONLY people from whom I actually enjoy physical contact. Hugging anyone else is merely something to endure. I do get kind of irritated at their immediate, knee-jerk value judgements, however.

[@3verblazer]

(Newly discovered INFP) I always did consider myself a hugger lol

[@mlandry491]

flaky cloud floater here...lol One of my best friends is an intj. I'm often looking for an opinion outside of my own to trust. It is extremely difficult to take any advice from anyone who cannot take you seriously. My intj, tells me the truth, even if it sucks. I take it from him, because he has taken the time to understand where I'm coming from. He supports my projects and strangeness. Not just " oh yeah, that's good" but " ahh that is a freaking brilliant detail, I dig how you did that".. etc. So if we are due to be somewhere and I can't get my outfit to be cute or I'm just lost in the frigging details of the day, and I am getting more and more angry with myself for not having my head on right he can see it before I say it. More than once I've been on the verge of throwing in the towel and saying just go without me, when he hands me a glass of wine and says "collect yourself woman, we have an hour. Yeah I just told you 7 but its really 8 because I know you. So drink your juice, Shelby, and come the fuck on!

[@lovewho]

"Flaky cloud floater" - this is genuinely how I see you ~ Nathan

[@mlandry491]

@@lovewho thats flaky, cloud floating Magpie to you, Sir

[@audioacc]

I’m an INFP (we call it “ I’m a Fat Panda”) and my husband is the INTJ (“I’m The Jerk”….He suggested these tricks to help me remember the combination of letters. Lol 😝). We get along really well and the video is pretty spot on. Love it! And love the comments. Im going to show this to him. Aaaaaaand I’m pretty sure my hubby will crack a smile here/there, chuckle a bit, and go, “Yeah. Ok. They’re right.” Or he’ll laugh, point at me and go, “Ho ho!! They so got you right!!” 😂❤😂

[@Mly_aaa]

One of my good and long time friends is typed as intj. I’m an infp. Though that might not be a type thought of as an emotionally supportive character, I am always grateful for her steadfast and calmly confident personality. She has a good idea of where she stands while also having the ability to analyze and troubleshoot. I’ve gone to her when I have been under extreme stress; her coolheadedness and assuredness keeps me in awe. When my feelings and mind were erratic and unmanageable, she offered a clear mind and calm yet understanding demeanor-which I think is great for infp stress. Infps have habits of observing people and wanting to understand others so when they feel like they can’t seem to get a grip on themselves, intjs can be a great support system as a focal point of assuredness and confidence. They are the kinds of individuals that will support you by saying less and fostering a calm and quiet atmosphere. I also adore their artistic sides, Fi-they often have wonderful concepts and ways of layering ideas and themes.

[@EvilFrenchFri89]

I’m an INTJ and I’m really great friends with two INFPs and I feel like they are too emotional but at the same time I love having them being emotional FOR me in a way… so they will take how I think I feel and then make sense of it and feel it for me with me.

[@davidtaylor4071]

My INTJ boyfriend broke up with me and refuses to tell me why except"too many red flags", none of which he will tell me or discuss with me. This happened on the one occasion I defended my emotional opinion, after which he was very insulting and demeaning to me. He hadn't said anything about being unhappy with me at all, and then this break-up over what to me seemed a trivial point. We brought a lot of good things to each other and out of each other, but I guess I'll never really know what he had been keeping to himself about the relationship. What a sad and empty loss of a relationship I thought we were both happy with. Thanks for helping me to understand more of the dynamics, which I guess he couldn't or wouldn't work through with me.

[@lunaromance2243]

Somethings about you are unattractive to him but he thinks you can't or won't change them. he doesn't tell you what they are because he isn't looking for trouble

[@davidtaylor4071]

@@lunaromance2243 Hello. Thank you for your comment. If my ex thinks I won't change anything, he's making a mistaken presumption, a judgement, in fact a pre-judgment. I'm very willing to work on things, but I can't if I don't know what needs working on. Relationships are based on trust and communication, and compromise. Both people need to be willing to give and take, not just one. To break off all communication and essentially run away with no warning, cuts off all hope of compromise, change, growth and evolution. I think we both have things to do to become healthier, not just me . He's not perfect and neither am I. We could become better individually and as a couple, but it takes two to do that, but it only takes one to stop the whole process. I'm willing, but I can't do it by myself. Thanks for your input.

[@myownquerencia5216]

But actually no one have to give an explanation for their choices. If he chosen to go without a word isn't this on him... ? Why would someone care... let him go and see your future you won't need him anyway... But I guess a lot of people are bothered by this 😅

[@allysoneddleman9884]

This is myself (INFP) and my husband (INTJ). Love these types of videos!

[@TheEmber221]

INTJ here. My best friend is an INFP. Let me insert one anecdote into the conversation at the end, where there's mutual respect for each other's goals and dreams. In my particular experience, I would rephrase that. We have a mutual respect for each others' passions. My INFP friend is trying to write a novel, and wants to make a career out of being a writer. He has a rather unique perspective of the world -- a perspective that I appreciate, but one that is not very marketable to the ignorant masses. Fi as his primary function, he paints this perspective into everything... and that is unfortunately where he runs into trouble with the plan of being a successful author. The modern publishing industry is brutal. It takes unique and lovely works, and rejects them in the name of marketability and profit. Publishing companies are more likely to publish something trendy than something original, as evidenced by the explosion of dystopian YA fiction that occurred after the Hunger Games had great success. I am concerned that he will be pressured to change his story, or else have it rejected over and over again, by a publishing company that just doesn't want to take the financial risk of publishing something entirely original from an unknown author. Knowing him, because he suffuses his perspective and his values into his work, he is likely to emotionally extrapolate this message and interpret that he needs to change himself or who he is to be accepted by society. He often struggles with depression, especially when evaluating the suboptimal state of humanity -- something we have in common -- and I worry that this skewed nterpretation of the evils of capitalism would be a blow he finds himself unable to recover from. INFP's, man... great at sticking up for everyone else. Not as great at sticking up for themselves. I don't want him to question his self-worth or his individuality -- after all, he is my best friend, and I am very picky with people, so he should feel honored. (Lol.) And thus, I find myself discouraging him from seeking to be published -- not out of a lack of respect for his dreams, but rather out of a respect for his personal identity and the preservation of his unique perspective. But then comes the question... am I myself becoming the bad guy here? In the analogy of the INFP as the storybook hero, every hero has an arc where they're feeling discouraged and down on themselves and have to overcome. Am I depriving him of this character arc? Am I depriving him of growth? Am I too overprotective of the people I care about to the point of their detriment, just like my father? Or... am I more like a resistance band exercise to prepare him for the challenging weightlifting he will find ahead? ...Or maybe I'm just an *sshole. Hm.

[@rachel1576e]

It sounds like you are doing exactly the thing that you are worried a publisher would do.

[@TheEmber221]

@@rachel1576e I know. Ironic, right? Which is why I make sure to buffer it with compliments. Like, "Yeah, I get where you're coming from. You're right -- it would make a good story. Sadly, it isn't likely to get published, because it's not the type of outlook that fulfills escapism. It's not the type of thing the world wants to hear; it's the type of thing the world needs to hear. Which is why it won't sell in a capitalism market. So then... onto my plans for world domination. You can work on your book in the meantime, and it will become required reading in my dictatorship."

[@thecaliforniatrip08]

As an INFP writer myself, who has a work that will be published very soon- you are doing the wrong thing here. Your intentions are pure and noble. HOWEVER - I find that NTs often project their own personalities onto the world around them. Because NTs have usually such a strong command of "understanding" the world, they make the mistake of projecting their own thought&feeling progressions onto other people. INFPs (especially INFP men) need to strengthen themselves emotionally to become a mature adult. A friend or companion can help an INFP achieve this level of emotional strength by ENCOURAGING their feelings and reassuring the INFP that their feelings are stronger than the world. "No matter what happens your love for writing will prevail." You worry that his "personal identity" or "perspective" or "values" are at risk. And you're right - they are. A friend should never discourage an INFP if the INFP is pursuing a true goal of theirs - no matter how silly. Here are words of encouragement that your INFP needs. If you, as an INTJ, can't deliver these sincerely because you believe it would be "fake" or "contrived"- you should seriously evaluate what truly is the basis of a friendship to you. What the INFP needs to hear: "Your love for writing will prevail, no matter what these publishers say." "If the publishers reject your writing, they're honestly capitalist idiots." "Sometimes in life, we will get rejected. But if we let the world change our inner emotions and most true passions, the world wins. You out of all people I know are incredibly passionate, emotional, and true to your values. So promise me that even if things don't work out with publishers that you will continue to write and try until you do get published."

[@TheEmber221]

@@thecaliforniatrip08 Thanks for this. I think I could say those last two.

[@NkosiCebile]

I'm one of those INFP who fell for entj... It ended badly but I'm still so attracted to them... I can always spot them right away but I'm not a healthy infp to date one... My best friend is intj. HIS A GOOD LISTENER... throughout the years his tried to LEARN my personality and we he gets me... We only fight about religion which I've repeatedly told him to respect

[@LOLfunnyshit1234]

YES! whats up with intjs and religion?

[@NkosiCebile]

@@LOLfunnyshit1234 I have no idea but he is an atheist and uses every turn to bash my faith... Calls it a fairy tail 🙄

[@youreworthyourweightinavoc7189]

Of the INFPs I have known in my life, I have often admired their intelligence and strong value systems. Conversely I have found their arrogance and rigidity about 'right' and 'wrong' take off some of the shine. They are interesting, but they are not fun. I cannot imagine myself pursuing this type for a relationship. As an INTJ I feel like if I'm letting people into my life they need to inject some fun into it - either by being interesting, open-minded conversationalists (i.e. an NT), or they need to bring a kind of real world fun via in Ne wackiness, or Se gung-ho-ness. INFPs are as sure of their 'righteousness' as INTJs are of their 'systems'. But both can be wrong. With INFPs it can be annoying when they do not acknowledge they may need to see things from other people's perspectives. I feel that the other INTJs in my life and myself are much more reflective when told they are incorrect or there's another, better way.

[@sash8099]

Go for Enfp. They have Ti demon so they are not convinced that objective truth exists. Hence they are never rigid since they believe everyone has their own version of truth or reality and they can all be true at the same time.

[@margos666]

Hah! Your comment on how couples spend waaay too much time together than they should reminded me of the following quote from a Russian movie: "Straight after the wedding we headed off to a honeymoon trip. I went to Turkey, and my wife to Switzerland, and we lived in love and mutual understanding for three blissful years."

[@lovewho]

Love that quote!! ~ Nathan

[@gyoutube542]

I found MBTI K-Drama!! It’s Cool!! 😆 How do you think of this MBTI character?? kzbin.info/www/bejne/foKbgox-ft-EfcU

[@purevida6702]

"INTJs are...weird" ROTFL...so very true Personally....I've always found INTJs difficult to be with..they withdraw a lot...and will not come out till they are ready...they feel deeply but tend to lean into the stereotype of cold...they don't seem to realise how they are affecting their partner...at least that is my experience (not saying it is all their fault) or apply to all...not saying they are bad, just difficult....or the ones I have come across are unhealthy....idk

[@Islaras]

Hahaha this.

[@promango3446]

I am so glad that you shared your feelings as this is exactly what I am encountering but I can't put it into words. thanks very much. I fully agree that they are not bad but I have to admit it is really hard and too much for me to see they are kind of self centered and they simply ignore and undermine their withdrawal whenever they want and this is the most difficult part I cannot stand. anyways thanks so much

[@promango3446]

yes another thing is they are so cold whereas as I am a warm and need at least a normal temperature partner

[@promango3446]

and I am sorry that I should say the above is only my experience with my ex boyfriend and no offend if you.are a INTJ.

[@luvsakura9912]

I agree, mbti is beneficial/useful in work/business settings. I don't, never, ever suggest using it on personal relationships like in love/friendship. Personal relationships shldnt be boxed either. Just use your heart and those "connections"/vibes. Freeflow. 🤗

[@emmilygelig341]

In my experiences, it is difficult for me to form relationships generally, but especially to Fe or Fi users, such as yes, the INFP's. Usually because of my seemingly cold and insensitive traits. But throughout the years, I tried studying them, how they live, how they work, and how they think. Once I connected things, I concluded it will be a hard time understanding them. But sooner or later, I manage to treasure some relationships with an INFP or any other types that have Fe or Fi as their top or secondary function by using what I learned by understanding them. I tried my best to reduce my usual ways that make them uncomfortable, understand and listen to what they wish to say and address that mostly connect to feelings, adjust to how they work, then I connect their ways to mine, and compromise. Sure, there are times where I unintentionally hurt them by being too blunt to my statements as they take them personally rather than an advice, suggestion or a critic, force them to follow my plans and my rules, disregard their feelings or their opinions. Hence, I still have lot to learn. *For an INTJ.* *• Study and understand them.* Adjust yourself to them(how they work, think, feel etc.) *• Make them feel like they are being listened to, loved to.* Treat them as something important, they are people that can feel, not a thing to be finished before a deadline so work with it. *• Negotiate and compromise.* Know your boundaries and limits. Connect and...work together for a healthy relationship. *Possibly for an INFP* (I still can't fully understand how you all work so I am still unsure if this is highly helpful for you.) *• Understand* that they work and think differently than you. • *Adjust* , well not fully of course. They have to adjust as well. They plan and plan and want it to work so try your best to get a hang with it, just like them trying their best to be...spontaneous and feel more than think. *• Know that they never intent to hurt you or make you feel bad.* Advices are advices. Critics are critics. Learn not to take it personally. It's not for you to feel bad about yourself, it's for you to improve. (Apologies if I don't have enough tips, hopefully that will be enough for you, and it is not my intentions to hurt you, so please, don't take this personally. As again, it's for you to improve for the better. Remember that.) *In conclusion:* It's all about communication and understanding each other. Learn and study. Compromise. And soon, it'll get to work, all as planned.

[@aubreys1675]

You’re 100% right. INTJs show affection by creating a system to solve or prevent your recurring issues. I’ve always had a very strong affinity toward NFPs. The synergy of Ne and Ni is great, with the common communication styles of Fi-Te

[@maryjennings3534]

I’m INTJ (I think...) and I’ve noticed that the people I tend to “click” with the most are INFP, ENFP, and ISFP. Obviously this isn’t exclusive but I feel like the people that I connect with easily at school or work, the friends that I suddenly realize I’ve been talking with for hours, the acquaintances I don’t avoid in the grocery store, etc., typically seem to be one of these types. One of the best teachers I’ve ever had was INFP and I always admired her thoughtfulness and creativity (she was a musician and poet). I can’t say the same about her punctuality lol

[@enfieldjohn101]

I think my wife is INFP. As I study INFP, I see her in the description. We are a good match.

[@Suisyo]

INFP in a long term relationship with an INTJ. Damn, this was both incredibly eye opening and super spot on. I definitely struggle with taking his advice on how to do things, and it's something I see (even more after watching this) that I need to work on. I have a hard time with change once I'm set in how I like to do things, and I also get frustrated when he seems to always think his way is better (he's usually right but I'm too stubborn to usually admit it). We absolutely balance each other. When he hits a roadblock in carefully laid plans, he will get stuck and in some cases give up, thinking everything is ruined and there's no saving the day. But I've always been a goes with the flow person so I can easily look at the plan and change a few things around to make it work. He'll get so caught up at times that it has to go this specific way that he doesn't see alternate solutions or is inflexible with them. But once I show him we can just make a small adjustment and it can still work he's usually like "oh man, I didn't think of that, ok let's go!" On the flip side when I do accept his help and follow his systems, I most definitely see the benefits. He brings order to my chaos. Even though I know he's great at systems, I really struggle with feeling like I'm being told what to do or can't do something my own way. I have a strong sense of independence that makes us butt heads about it and his feelings get hurt when I won't let him help me with every problem I have. We're both still learning compromise, me with accepting more help, and him with understanding sometimes I need to figure it out on my own. I love how we allow the other's strengths to shine and, despite the frustrations with communication at times, I certainly love how we balance and teach each other. I also agree that we both are very supportive of each other's dreams and hobbies. I can't wait to show him this video because I think it's going to blow his mind how accurate this is for us. I'm also gonna get a lot of I told you so looks XD

[@jameshansen7108]

"INTJ's are weird" ... Yup, that pretty much sums us up well! Can't help but look at things with an efficiency mindset. Definitely agree with communication styles, however, I'm more of an 'oblivious blunt', than an 'unapologetically blunt'

[@lovewho]

Always great to get confirmation from real life INTJs! ~ Nathan

[@onipot9639]

INFP x ISTJ next ? I liked this video it was really good, as an INFP dating an ISTJ i think a lot of these points are still pretty visible in any FP x TJ relationship. communication is key and trying to understand where the other person is viewing things from. I think the literary comparison is very accurate in the 'hero that gets swept up' and ' the evil mastermind' , I have even seen people refer to infp x intj/istj as being like a hunter dating it's prey ( a rather dark way of viewing it) . I think there is a weird need to 'protect' the infp in these relationships, not in a cloying way, but a sort of ' oh wow, this person is terrible at practical life things....if I don't make them do their taxes they will perish' kind of thing. IxTJ types, just want to solve things, INFPs usually love this, but also can find it patronising or frustrating. I also find it interesting looking at fictional examples of these relationships ( both friendships and romantically ) to understand the dynamic. So ISTJ x INFP can be seen in the relationship of Mulder and Skully from the X-files or the strained friendship of Luna and Hermione in Harry Potter. In the more high fantasy setting we can see it in Arwen/Frodo and Elrond/Saruman, they are usually presented as opposing forces.

[@lovewho]

I will definitely get through many of the different combinations of these relationships over time! ~ Nathan

[@noraflood6482]

so true :)

[@rachel1576e]

Love this. My husband is an ISTJ and I’m an INFP. We’re different in many ways but I think we complement each other. It works because our values are the same (mostly!)

[@nailachoudhury3795]

LOOOOL 'if I don't make them do their taxes they will perish' that is hilarious and very accurate

[@vladstavarache2363]

INFP currently in a relationship with an INTJ, from my end, the biggest risk is me having low self esteem which results in not representing myself well + lack of attraction. so i'd prioritise health (low/zero carb, fasting, emotional flexibility) largely to cover that. From INTJ's end, i'd say going with negative implications/assumptions about the INFPs intentions and values. so i'd prioritise tact and postponing judgement some.

[@everlastingmoments8646]

Fantastic!!! Please do one on INTPs and ENFPs, thank you very much! You are very very awesome. Your videos are the best.

[@lovewho]

I'll definitely get around to covering all (or most) of the relationship combinations over time ~ Nathan

[@GrimDaeva]

INFP married to INTJ for 5 years now but we've been dating for 10 years before we got married. Before learning about our personality types and love styles we on and off struggled with understanding each other. I would get too emotionally invested in something and he would seem cold. Which at the time I couldn't see that he cared because the body language wasn't there, but him just telling me with an emotionless face and monotone voice was hard for me to understand. He also had a hard time understanding my emotional investment in him and my insights. It seemed like my analysis of him or his situation was too harsh on him. Noticing his self destructive tendencies and trying to suggest solutions would make him upset. He also did not appreciate my obscure and whimsical approach to things sometimes. I am analytical and find it easier to talk to him when I'm being logical. Now, we use our personality types to dig deep and use it as a tool to better understand each other and how we perceive the world through our own lenses. I feel like it's made us much stronger as a couple and as friends. We're still learning more about each other everyday and we're more grateful for each other's strengths and more understanding of our weakness'

[@lovewho]

Excellent comment! ~ Nathan

[@Sly-Moose]

This males so much sense now. INFP here. I thought I was weird for liking and supporting my INTJ fictional character so much despite the fact that they're an antagonist in my story.

[@bluesan4987]

Can you please do a video for an INFP and an ENTJ relationship?

[@lovewho]

I will certainly get around to doing that video yes! ~ Nathan

[@bluesan4987]

@@lovewho thank you so much Nathan , love your channel btw 💙(;

[@gyoutube542]

I found MBTI K-Drama!! It’s Cool!! 😆 How do you think of this MBTI character?? kzbin.info/www/bejne/foKbgox-ft-EfcU

[@nailachoudhury3795]

I was really surprised seeing this because I've always thought my perfect match would be an INTJ with similar Fi values to mine. Mature ones I've met are some of the most morally upright people I know because unlike the xxfp types when they care about an issue deeply they are very active in educating themselves about it as much as they can and then searching/creating solutions and they do this consistently. As an infp I care deeply about many things but feel a bit lost about what to do to try and help. The Ni and Fi together adds so much depth to their world view I can just listen to them talk about it for hours and they also seem to appreciate my Ne commentary. You are completely spot on with not forcing structure on an infp, it feels suffocating. And yeah I do have a flaking issue I'm working on it loool Also Nathan, your general comments on relationships are really interesting and accurate. You are so insightful!

[@lovewho]

As always, great to see you in the comments section and I'm glad you liked the video! I agree that Ni and Fi in tandem have so much individual depth to them ~ Nathan

[@lc1138]

Spot on comment too. Thanks.

[@lavinder11]

I tend to attract INFP/J types. They're very cute. For me, the most annoying things about dating people is a short attention span, beating around the bush and forgetfulness. Don't say you're going to do X if you're not. It's a waste of time. Actually, I think wasting time is the worst when it comes with dealing with people. I want to get to the point and then relax. Another was taking things personally. It's true that we guard our inner world from everyone, so when a person, especially a close friend or SO, accuses you of doing something *because* you want to upset them on purpose, it comes across as an insult to my motives. Like... you really assumed that my original thoughts revolve around you and I would waste time being passive aggressive rather than directly addressing the problem? Lol, no.

[@mariobros7834]

Dude, I had an ENTP tell me I was pretending to ignore her after she told me she didn't like clingy guys. Can you believe this? It was very insulting. When I finally had enough of her bullshit, I did start to ignore her. She went batshit crazy.

[@dirtywhitellama]

Thanks for recognizing the horrors of the bell ;D As someone most highly likely probably an INTJ, but sometimes feels like an INFP, this video... kind of explains a lot XD

[@amyzapalac8911]

Sorry, basically completely unrelated but is anyone else on a laptop and went to their mouse settings? Because I did and now I know a bunch of short cuts I didn't know before. More on topic, I'm an INFP and although I always imagine myself with a feeling type a lot of the statements made are appealing to me. However, in my current state as a rather unhealthy INFP I don't think I could handle the bluntness of an INTJ. If it's important to not take comments seriously then I'm screwed because I take everything personally and it's a problem. hehe. -_-

[@lovewho]

Those changes to my mouse settings really made a difference... #intjinsights ~ Nathan

[@seventhsheaven]

I can only imagine these types talking to each other if shut up alone together for a couple of hours. I’m very introverted as extroverts go, but I think both these types would give me a run for my money.

[@seventhsheaven]

vykusiEclectic well I’m an Ne dom so I’d probably be even more fascinating. Just need to find an INTJ.

[@rikawithshotgun]

@@seventhsheaven When an online stranger asserts that they're more fascinating than you T_T Also, in response to your original comment, while still being very introverted, I would hate not ever having any companion and I'm not actually uncomfortable finding and connecting with others who have an IN- type, because we're each coming from a place of not quite fitting in, lol. Additionally, INTJs are more social than we INFPs are, but only towards those they see as being worth the interaction. If someone catches the fancy of an INTJ, the INTJ won't waste much time in reaching out to establish a connection. Or at least try.

[@jeffjones7108]

As a male INFP I'm not sure I've ever met a female INTJ in meat-space. I've met a few online and got on really well with them, but it's very hard to read beneath their palpable restraint. Especially online. But I suspect the male INTJ and female INFP would be the more natural pairing. It seems to me that many analyses of INFPs neglect the very significant variable of gender for this type. I suspect for instance that it is almost entirely the male INFPs who are driving the disproportionately high INFP suicide numbers.

[@lovewho]

"Meat-space" I adore this phrase ~ Nathan

[@felixw8929]

Male INFPs might be overrepresented in addictions and prisons as well. Personally I don't think it's a bad thing to be part of a character type that doesn't, on average, fit in this world so well like the rest of them.

[@mr.t993]

I totally agree with you. I am also a INFP male (4w5). I was in a relationship with a ENFJ female wich didn't work out because of gender stereotypical expectations on her part. I could not get along with INTJ female because of gender stereotypical expectations on my part. I ended up more than happy in the end with a ISFJ female, a relationship wich is not supposed to work according to all the "experts", but it does. We do have all the problems mentioned on most sited but its still the best relationship I ever had because of a few things. 1. I need to be with a feeler 2. I need someone who supports me, not the other way around 3. I need a sensor because its difficult enough with one crazy dude always stuck in headspace. Someone needs to "ground" me and help me not to skew up too much of the basic things in life. 4. I need an introvert, because extroverts drain me.

[@legendzfall]

I think you're right that an INTJ might want to judge something as inherently good/bad or worthwhile/frivolous, but a greater value for an INTJ is the ability to execute skillfully and efficiently and efficaciously -- so they can be supportive and valuable in this way to an INFP(or ENFP, or any other type for that matter). So the response might be something like "well if you're going to do that, here are some strategies to do it as effectively as possible." I don't think we're as judgy as our reputation suggests. [INTJ]

[@A.l.e.x.e.a]

I'm an INFP who was with an INTJ for 2 years. We definitely complemented and clashed with one another in all the ways suggested here, and those differences in views were what continuously drew us to each other as there was always something new to learn or work to understand (which is motivating to both our types). Ultimately, I believe things started unraveling once we lost that curiosity for one another's views, due to comfortability and general lethargy.

[@trinaemorgan8614]

Spot on. I’m an INFP and my husband is an INTJ. I tried to work for him with all of those obligations and deadlines, and often flaked. Work was so suffocating and intrusive on my time. I definitely heard that lion 🦁 roar after one too many adventures away.

[@PagoMTGAoE2]

I have am an INFP with an INTJ brother. This is relatable.

[@snuffyscorner]

I'm an INFP and my stepmom is INTJ and before I took to trying to understanding personality type I thought she was harsh judgmental and way too rigid. I was surprised at her creativity though. Thank you for this video because although I've come to accept her already and cherish her differences, I see how we have influenced each other.