r/AmITheA**Hole For Walking Out After I Opened The Gift My Stepson Bought For Father's Day?

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#AITA #Family #Parenting

[@billjacobs2799]

1st story, OP why are you still in this relationship? The step-son has done things that cost a lot of money to fix, and the wife doesn't do anything about it. OP you need to tell your wife that either the son goes to therapy and stops the pranks or she will be getting divorce papers.

[@emilybarclay8831]

The step daughter. OP loves her like his own, she’s probably the only thing keeping him there, and he probably suspects she’ll become the new target if he leaves, and he’s probably right

[@gcra-luma2145]

@@emilybarclay8831 That is what I was going to say.

[@Julienna]

@@emilybarclay8831 Yeah, but he can support her even after the divorce. I think her mother married him to take care of her and her children. She acts like a narcissistic person. She apparently sees her son to be above her husband. That is very much a narcissistic view of relationships - a hierarchy. A bio child, especially the golden child, is more than a new husband.

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@Julienna if he hasn’t adopted her he’ll have no legal rights to see her, and the mum could use not seeing the daughter as punishment for the divorce

[@katarinatibai8396]

@@Julienna 100% - agree - I smell also narcissists crap here. 100% momies golden child. + This boy will end up in jail soon, he is allready to far gone with his antisocial actions. I think a therapie will do no good on him - it's too late.

[@raeishimura]

Story 1, those aren't pranks. They are malicious, cruel. He messed with OP's car. Damaged his credit card. And to the point OP is concerned for his safety using his own car? Really? No, that's not ok. Then this kid embarrassed and humiliated him on father's day. OP handled that perfectly. He walked away from a situation set up with the intention of humiliating him. If a kid like that had messed with my car, he'd be behind bars for malicious vandalism. NTA at all

[@danacarter9147]

I agree. How could 1st OP's stepson treat him with such disrespect? I'm so heartbroken and ₱*&§ed off on that poor man's behalf. 😡

[@gcra-luma2145]

Also, the little puke is 16, I'd make him get a job and pay up in full. If wifey has a problem- tell her only a sh*t parent thinks life-threatening/ property damaging/ humiliating cruelty are just fun/ laughable "pranks".

[@grootsChannel]

''Hey, I sabotaged your brakes trolololol have fun in the hospital''

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

OP should, if he stays with his AH wife, keep receipts for every "prank" he pulls that costs you money, pretend he invested it, keep track of the gains, and then take every dollar plus interest out of college money. I include loans if that's how he pays for it. I don't mean subtract it from the total he gives the little shit; I mean the stepson will pay him the fuck back for every penny plus losses of capital gains plus penalties over the years. Then when he screams and cries and says OP is ruining his life...he can laugh and say, "But it's just a prank, bro! Woowwww, did your sense of humor die?!" and in short viciously mock him into spasms of weeping, impotent fury.

[@josepherhardt164]

OP should be seeing an attorney first thing Monday morning.

[@mothertrucker936]

S1: NTA you don’t only have a stepson problem you’ve got a wife problem. Op, you’re being used for financial stability. Otherwise I can’t see any reason for your wife to just let these actions be. Stop paying for her and stepson. Let them manage on their own. Seriously op, not kidding. This is totally unacceptable. He purposely humiliated you in front of your wife’s family to show them what he thought of you. Those who laughed, feel the same way. I wouldn’t be surprised if your wife knew about this. who wrapped it so beautifully?

[@katwiltz1134]

My God it's like you're a Sith Lord spookily right on

[@paulinadeboer3604]

Those who laughed feel the same way, i laugh when i feel awkward so no. I think he must do the same to his wifes creditcard, and if she is angry say it is just a prank i thought you like this sort of pranks. Yeah i am petty.

[@mothertrucker936]

@@paulinadeboer3604 I absolutely love petty especially when it’s well deserved. People need to be called out on their crappy behaviour

[@Khaisz.]

The stepson in story 1 is a future "it's just a prank bro" KZbinr.

[@BruinPhD2009]

That, or he’s gonna get his ass beat sometime in the future when he pulls a nasty stunt on the wrong person. I’m hoping for this one. 😆

[@rollothecat2010]

@@BruinPhD2009 Me too. I hate nasty pranksters. I hope karma punches out this prankster.

[@tanyaredfield]

Thr Father's day story...on the fence. Yes, you should have stayed laughed it off. For one,, if stepson is malicious,, he will keep going if he knows he pushes your buttons.. The gift alone would have been not a big deal but when combined with the other things...kid probably needs therapy.. It is hard to entirely judge the kid. Does he see his bio dad? Did your wife leave his bio dad for you? There could be a reason he won't open up to you...we can't tell from juat this story. By the way, my kids and I love funny gifts. But not ones that destroy or screw people up. A lost sock though would be funny in our house, especially if someone had been looking for it hard.

[@Pepacheck]

@@tanyaredfield op should regift the dirty sock beautifully wrapped to either his wife or stepson🤣 since they find it so funny

[@sbh2888]

Or saying it in front of a judge…

[@georgezp7787]

30:12 I disagree. The doctor and receptionist are most definitely the AH. They have his data. There's no reason why they would not know exactly why you wouldn't want him as your doctor. They work in a place meant for people with many different kinds of disabilities. The fact that the receptionist jumped to conclusions about you instead of asking for more details tells me that she isn't actually qualified to be there.

[@nixxyhasthoughts]

And the fact the doctor went through the session when the client couldn’t understand them repeatedly, then SHAMED OP is kinda gross.

[@Me-wk3ix]

Was looking for this. You are totally correct. They were actually very ableist. They want people to be aware and educate themselves when it comes to racial bias, I agree. But it works both ways. It goes to show we are all human and have a lot to learn.

[@RajaniIsa]

Agree. The receptionist needs major retraining, and the doctor... I'd report that.

[@Julienna]

The receptionist should have been punished. Her role is to take care of the reception, calls, patients, etc. She is in no way obligate to mentor anybody, not even a real racist. She owes OP a huge apology. She should investigate more before jumping to her BS conclusion. That is horribly unprofessional behavior. I hope she was taught how to behave from now on.

[@thegamingcomrades1669]

@@Me-wk3ix plus the fact that this all happened in a area when doctors who specialize with disabilities are working, yet both the receptionist and doctor where too brain dead to check the patient file for disabilities that were well documented considering they had a different doctor for years, and honestly they deserve to loose their jobs over this considering if you're knowingly not reading the patients file you could potentially kill them from even their allergies that would've been listed too

[@Roedygr]

MEET : Kai does not want to meet his birth mother. That should be the end of it.

[@LucyAdroit]

I was like "CAN WE FIRE THAT SECOND THERAPIST" like why would you disregard what someone wants?!

[@tanyadebeer4836]

That goes so far beyond a parent forcing a child to give hugs when they are uncomfortable - I can't believe any therapist would advise disregarding a child's autonomy by forcing contact.

[@trishdiggins]

Yes.

[@tonyrock1983]

On the pajama story YTA. That is such a stupid rule. Ever since my kids have been little, there's been times on weekends when nothing is going on, I let them stay in their pajamas. It really isn't that big of deal.

[@trevanminnig3499]

I agree that it’s a strange rule, but I really don’t see too much issue with it, because if that’s the strictest they’re being, and it’s always been the rule, I don’t see why it’s too ridiculous to expect that of the kids. I also know that if I don’t get up and get dressed right away normally, I do tend to have much less drive through the day. I view it as the same level as making your bed, it’s one small task you do first thing to kick-start your day and get you moving. Making your bed doesn’t ACTUALLY contribute anything to you, but it makes your brain go “aha! I did something! Time to do more things through the day!”

[@Kai-uj5go]

The narcolepsy edit makes me think this isn't a real story. Enforcing such a nonsense rule only for your eldest to "rebel" and it turns out she has a sleeping disorder... plus they don't care if the kids wear a different set of pajamas or sweat pants but not the ones the slept in? Or for holidays, that one day a week or as a reward for doing something well? 😂 Before the edit I will say this one made me think a bit too long about wtf is going on in that household! 😂😂

[@jilll7074]

We were never allowed to be out of bed in our PJ's. We had to get dressed before we left the bedroom. Now i live in PJ's

[@robbiprendergast7759]

I don't agree about the Auditory Processing Disorder, the office personnel and Doctor both should've known about OP's disorder and autism, they were both entirely unprofessional. Particularly when the Doctor texted and indicated that his feelings were hurt. His feelings don't matter and are not his patient's responsibility. Plus his Doctor should've recognized the communication issue during their session. I find both professionals were TA.

[@colleenburns9185]

Not only that but when you are working with these types of disorders you have to be comfortable with the Dr. There doesn't need to be a reason to switch besides I don't feel I can work with this Dr. They both need new jobs.

[@harlequinheart7132]

@@colleenburns9185 Seconding this! I'm in school to become a counselor. The thing is, even IF the problem WAS race - that might not be 'okay' in terms of, like... I wouldn't think it's 'right' or whatever, but if it makes you unable to work with this doctor? If it makes you uncomfortable to a point of overtaking the point of the sessions? Then this is not a good doctor-patient match. If I had someone unwilling to work with me because of, say, my gender, sure I'd be upset about it on a personal level, maybe even offended. But on a professional level? If they're determined that they don't want to work with me, how much help to them can I really be? It might be best to move them to a different doctor they'd be comfortable with, *whatever their reasoning is*. Now, sometimes it's NOT - maybe this doctor is a specialist in their issue, maybe they're comfortable attempting to deal with the discomfort and work through it and want to try one more session, etc. whatever - but for the receptionist to just immediately refuse to consider it before taking it before the doctor, and then the doctor to potentially make it WORSE by contacting her about his own personal feelings rather than trying to clarify the situation... the whole thing feels horribly unprofessional and like it wouldn't have helped anybody even if the situation hadn't been so misread. What if she WERE racist, do they think that's going to magically make her MORE comfortable with the doctor, to know that he's now personally upset by her? It also bothers me that as a supposed specialist in her sorts of conditions it didn't occur to the doctor what might be happening? If I knew a patient had a specific disorder and that it did - or even just could - present with these sorts of auditory issues, I'd like to think that if it came up that the client is 'having a hard time understanding me', it would at least occur to me that the problem is potentially condition-related and that I wouldn't be so sensitive as to immediately get offended, especially because I do actually have a slight regional accent (which it sounds like this doctor also did at least somewhat). As said above, how did he not recognize during the session that there was a communication issue going on? I'd have expected him to at least ask for clarification of the issue before jumping to a conclusion too. Maybe that's on the receptionist and she just told him it was obviously a race thing and left out the 'she claimed she couldn't understand your accent' part, but... ugh this whole thing just upsets me and I feel really bad for the client having had to go through that.

[@tcrpgfan]

Because it's not in america or canada and is stated in-story as such, it's possible that they live in a country that doesn't release such medical information to psychiatrists and leaves it up to the patient to inform them.

[@kingofichigo]

Yeah, completely unprofessional in every way

[@lauriemeyer7030]

Doc failed to read his chart! Doc FAIL! NTA

[@andreamaclachlan980]

Fathers day sock: that boy has shown complete disrespect for you over and over, and been supported by his mother. It would seem she also disrespects you. It has escalated to dangerous levels. I have serious concerns about him, and his mother. They are NOT pranks. They could cost someone their life.

[@katarinatibai8396]

Total agree - that's why I think that this golden child will end up in jail pretty soon. Momy do not good by enabeling him.

[@billjacobs2799]

Using the same name as the step-son is so she can replace OP with the new child. OP needs to also tell them that it will cause a lot of problems in that there will be identity problems for both as they will be confused with each other throughout life.

[@msredux]

NTA that kid is a brat, and I guess his enabling wife will ask him to pay for his college in the future, I would not want to be in a relationship where I don't get any respect.

[@michaelschneider6106]

F A T H E R S D A Y. Not "siblings day, ex wife day or ex wife's busbands day."

[@janinbeatris1172]

Right? He should also ask his ex family who is the kids father. Not father FIGURE. And if they still insist he should ask them if he would get the kids every other mother’s day. It’s exactly the same scenario 🤣

[@missyjune9014]

We trained Our dogs not to bark at moose unless they were in the 'dog yard'. They had secure houses for safety after they were told "okay guys, we see it." The group "leader" would woof when the moose moved so WE wouldn't walk out the door in the moose area. Moose can be ornery and idiot people get stomped everyone year because they don't pay attention to Wildlife in their surroundings.

[@mirandakaite6466]

@@janinbeatris1172 b jv be vbjjvojvvojojjvvvojv high b johvj hi ghvogjbjbj high bbe bbjvjjvvjvvpvjpvjvpjpjvvpjvpjjjjvvpjvjpjvpjvpjpjjvvjv high bhoh chi o who

[@kekumontgomery192]

Sometimes it is step-dad day! (Not in the given situation at all) but I specifically only spend Father's day with my step-dad not my still living biodad because he sucks

[@virtualatheist]

"Can't complain about the receptionist." Yes you fucking can! It was very far from her place to make ANY assumption about the reason for OP's request, and to do so very publicly was an incredible display of unprofessionalism. The clinic should be reported for their unmitigated incompetence!

[@Ackalan]

If he lives in the same country as me, nothing will happen, if you're being accused of being a racist then almost any action against you is forgiven and you'll never get rid of the label. The fact that even IF it was due to racism why keep them together? The trust and cooperation between therapist and patient need to come first, what they are doing (on a whim) is punishing by denying healthcare, something that can spiral into suicide. The way OP was describing it really make me think of how messed up my country has become in the pursuit of "fair treatment".

[@oliverspencer2411]

Story 1: the "pranks" besides the sock weren't just harmless pranks. The sock is the only one I'd find funny if it happened to me. OP nta, walking away is better than other reactions

[@meirin5316]

it would be funny if they had a good relationship and he wouldnt be so hopeful to build one w ss, yeah

[@oliverspencer2411]

@@meirin5316 i mean like i cant see any situation where messing with credit cards or tail lights is funny. I guess if the kid is really trying to be malicious then yeah the sock sucks, but like, if the kid already pulled the major stunts that could cause a lot of harm, why the sock

[@janinbeatris1172]

Pranks aren’t pranks when the recipient don’t laugh with the prankster. It’s just bullying and cruelty

[@meirin5316]

@@oliverspencer2411 cuz backlash. would it be a huge prank infront of everyone thr mum can not rugsweep it anymore

[@fandomfan2800]

OP YTA

[@jingerjar1365]

Stepson needs to realize messing with your car credit cards will bring the police These are not pranks. Where is his dad? He needs therapy

[@Fireprincess161]

Exposure therapy is only supposed to be used with the consent of the client. Otherwise it can do much more damage than good.

[@maheenahmed6653]

Property destruction is not a prank. The tire thing is straight up dangerous. The wife needs to shut that shit down immediately. It’s one thing to do it to op, but by not punishing him for what he did, he won’t learn and he’s going to do it to others who will do something about it. The wife is inconsiderate of OPs feelings and is coddling her son

[@heatherdickau5335]

The story with the person who could not under his doctor. He never has to explain why he wants a new doctor. This receptionist was way out of line. If she can't do her job without interfering she needs a new job.

[@Suelorie]

The OP with the bio mom trying to get back into Kai's life-NTA-do what the child wants-if he EVER wants to meet her it Has to be on his terms-forcing is not a good move.

[@HackiePuffs]

I love listening to these 2 hour comps when I take baths and I was just thinking about taking one!! As for the opening story NTA. How dare the wife minimize your feelings after he ruthlessly humiliated you?? I know Reddit likes to throw this around but I’d seriously reconsider this marriage.

[@mr.monotone1908]

same here man

[@amusing4me257]

I agree, it help when I play them to clean & don’t want to touch my phone with my dirty hands

[@princesssunshine874]

man, that receptionist is absolutely the worst. She caused all kinds of drama by escalating things right away. This is a therapists office. I really hope the receptionist learns how to behave around emotionally vulnerable people.

[@Roedygr]

LOCKDOWN : in my whole life nobody asked my parents to keep us kids inside. The problem is yours and your badly trained dog. Take a dog training course or take him to a dog trainer, Failing that let your dog out only after dark.

[@johnschroeder163]

Regarding names - lets not forget that George Foreman's entire professional career was getting punched in the face. Consider the source, folks.

[@teslagirl1]

A good stepfather deserves a little recognition. I never would have pulled malicious pranks on my stepfather and if any of us had, the extended family would have come down hard with the verbal warnings, shamings and punishment. They would NOT have laughed about it. The problem is the mom...but it's also the whole family, whose laughter encourages the malicious "pranks".

[@theunknownone5663]

Story one: op should prank him by breaking all of his stuff. Then rub poop in his eyes. As for the mom get a divorce for a prank. And as a added prank, plant illegal drugs in his backpack and call the cops on him during school.

[@SadEyes1412]

Great pranks lol. 👌🏻

[@emeraldsword4528]

Story 1:NTA. That was actually the best reaction OP could have given him. OP's wife's family really hurt him by laughing at something that really wasn't funny and wife is enabling it. Because of step son, Op couldn't get groceries or go to work. Should step son be allowed to keep escalating, he's eventually going to be charged with accidental manslaughter.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - OP's wife needs to get her head out of her ass and stop excusing her son's nasty stunts as "just pranks".

[@knitwit9447]

I'm autistic and have APD. OP in the story is NAH, and honestly I'd say the receptionist is. She automatically assumed why OP wanted to switch doctors without asking why, and was rude to the point that OP ended up near a meltdown.

[@JHellraiser]

Pajama Story - I feel sorry for those kids. Even before the pandemic, if I had no where to go I stayed in pj's all day. My reasons? 1: Pj's are more comfortable than everyday clothes and for someone with stomach issues, non binding clothes are a god send. 2: Why make more laundry? Seriously, you're not going any where and just chillin' around the house, what's the point of getting dressed and making MORE work for yourself? And the pj's all day when staying home has been a thing in my house since I was little and I continued it with my daughter who's 16 now. When we go out though, we dress in presentable clothing. My daughter showers each day and if not going anywhere, puts on clean jams. I do the same. Only time I get dressed when at home is if I have company coming over. As for the daughter's diagnosis, that can be rough. My older sister has narcolepsy and I myself have hypersomnia. According to my sleep doctor, hypersomnia is similar to narcolepsy, but where someone with narcolepsy will just fall asleep, someone with hypersomnia will suddenly feel lethargic and want to sleep. After a while this passes and you feel normal again. One thing both conditions share is that people find it very hard to get up in the morning. Both my sister and I have several alarms that go off so that we can get up on time. One of my co-workers has hypersomnia and told me she does the same thing. And while my daughter hasn't been diagnosed with either condition, she does exhibit a lot of the signs for both. It ticks me off to no end when people assume someone is "lazy" simply because they don't act or react the same way as them. Good of the father to actually talk to his daughter, even if his no pj rule is still ridiculous.

[@amandabrinkman2338]

My sister says her and my niece tried to see how long they could get away with wearing only PJs! 8 months of the pandemic was a great record, then a princess dress called my nieces name!

[@carolmckinney4994]

I’m adopted and didn’t know until I was almost 12 , my adoptive father was my birth mother’s brother, so I always knew her as an aunt we as a family we didn’t see the family often just holidays. My dad and mom couldn’t conceive so when Kathryn already having 5 children couldn’t keep me my parents asked to adopt me. Best thing that could have happened for me. Katheryn wasn’t married and her partner had told her to leave with the children she moved home with her parents. My grandparents were hard working, but add 6 more people to feed and house it was overwhelming so my mom and dad adopted me I’m so glad because I have had opportunities that I would never have had if I had stayed with Katheryn

[@BlankBrain]

First story: Send the stepson away to live with his father. Even if the father is in prison or dead.

[@angelaa7388]

Doctor with an accent story- I work as a receptionist in a doctors office and I can say I have had people tell me they don't want to see a certain doctor based on THEIR NAME ONLY. And it's always "oh I just can't understand accents." But even when I say, this doctor does not have an accent, they will double down and I will accommodate them only to spare the doctor from having to deal with a racist patient. But honestly most of the doctors are used to it and have no problem treating someone, even if they are racist. In fact, I think it brings them some satisfaction knowing that a racist had to defer to their expertise and accept care from someone they deem to be unsuitable.

[@Ackalan]

Sadly sometimes the receptionists aren't truthful about the the accents and assure people it'll be fine, only for it to not be fine and they end up with the wring meds or can't explain their conditions etc, I work with a lot of old people so I've head a lot of horror stories. Kudos to you for reassigning them though.

[@Roedygr]

SOCK : These are not pranks. They are vandalism. With a prank, everybody laughs. He is a sadistic little brat. Why does he rationalise to himself he is justified in doing this to you?

[@Roedygr]

TEST CHEATING : if you help her by cheating, when she gets to university she won't know the material presumed. You are doing her a favour with wrong answers.

[@zachf748]

NTA. Tell your wife to actually parent her kid. He’s bullying you and your wife’s enabling it.

[@sandyjamison5929]

The young lady who snapped at her mom: NTA She's passionate about not shafting people in the service industry, it's brutally hard work for garbage pay and she knows that. Maybe when things cool down, try to calmly explain to your mom that you told the waitress because fake tips are hurtful. After all, wasn't it your mom who taught you to stand up for what's right? That's all she did, imo. I hope with natural conversation & a calm explanation, any hurt feelings will be mended.

[@sharonblevins3281]

Not the AH. I'd be so divorced ASAP! She's an awful spouse. He vandalized your property and I wouldn't support him or her any longer.

[@georgezp7787]

20:30 My brother and I have names that sound vaguely similar when you hear it from far away. (George and John). Literally the sound of the first syllable is the only common part. And it's still confusing enough. I can't even imagine how it would have been if we had the exact same name.

[@Roedygr]

CHINESE RESTAURANT : I don't think the "chicken" was racist. It was intended to belittle OP describing what he does in the least flattering light. There is also some French cuisine looking down on Chinese cuisine. Oddly she seems to think the best way to make Chinese food is with French technique. The way this blew up in her face suggests she has been rubbing many other noses in the dirt. She wants to be considered the most skilful person in the room no matter whom she has to skewer to do it. She has delusions of grandeur.

[@emeraldsword4528]

Story 3: NTA. New therapist - current therapist actually needs to be reported, wait until he's old enough to make that decision himself and Keep a close eye in Kai around in-laws; they may force him to meet his bio mom against his and OP's wishes.

[@mothertrucker936]

S2: NTA. Kai’s feelings are what is important and nobody else. Where in the world were these famous in-laws with so much insight when Kai was little, when he was suffering, when his idiot father basically rejected him? Where tf were these morons? Kai is YOUR son and you do what you know is right. Also, go lc as I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re already in contact with bio mom and making promises.

[@lineolsen4176]

you've got the best voice out of all the reddit-readers on KZbin I've come across

[@flamelily2086]

Kai does not want to meet his bio mother and that should be the end of the matter. Forcing Kai to meet his mother is the worst idea. I don't think much of a therapist that makes a suggestion like that. I wouldn't let the in laws have any time alone with Kai as they could introduce him to his mother.and cause trauma.

[@fasdfdsdfs]

Story 1. That stepson is gonna get his ass kicked one day possibly even killed if he continues "pranking" people.

[@BW022]

1st Story: You are never going to win any type of fight with a 16 year-old stepson how has access to your stuff, a father, and a wife who failed to discipline him. You have a wife problem and the solution isn't pretty. It is too late for therapy on the kid -- father won't accept it, mother will gaslight it, and kid will get twice as nasty. 1. See a lawyer. 2. Get all your valuables out of the house while lawyer is getting papers done. Prepare your finances. Let key family/friends know you'll need their support. 3. Serve her divorce papers. 4. Based on lawyer's advice either change the locks or move out. 5. Block her for a few weeks. Sit down with a third party (friend or family recording with phones). Let her know that you won't life with her son. Kid is 16 and beyond fixing. You'll consider reconciliation only after son remains at his father's full time. She can visit him elsewhere. He can't be near you, no family outings, no visits to your family, no vacations with him, etc. You doubt she'll agree to this, but it (and her allowing it) is the reason you are divorcing her.

[@Roedygr]

SURPRISE PARTY : These are nearly always a dumb idea. The guest of honour is not properly dressed and groomed, which is humiliating. The partiers should presume fiance has something planned. It was rude not to invite fiance to the party.

[@aikikaname6508]

Cheating married woman with baby story: ‘she did this to herself. All she had to do to keep this from blowing up in her face was to keep this quiet anf tell husband honey I’m pregnant… she’s the type to make things more difficult for herself.’ I’m sorry, WHAT? They’re CRITICISING and ADVOCATING the mother for the telling the truth, and thinks the better option (in the age of easy DNA tests no less!) is to commit paternity fraud, deny OP knowledge of his kid and deny kid knowledge of their real father . WTF.What. The. Actual. Hell. The cheating wife did many, many things but coming clean and not allowing husband and kid to form a bond they never should have is the only thing that woman did RIGHT. How the hell are they actually suggesting she should have committed paternity fraud

[@bassmasterandrews]

Markee, please put time stamps on these long ones :) it’d make it so much better

[@surrealistgirlx]

The father whose ex wanted him to sacrifice Father's Day. The step-father is so great that your kids don't want to spend time there in the Summer. Definitely NTA.

[@bettybell63]

Tell her you will trade Fathers Day for Mothers Day and see how she feels about that.

[@frozenheart7133]

31yr old to 19 year old - I always wonder if these are my ex husband’s new wife. That’s his 4th 19 year old wife. I was so independent, we all were, when he arranged the circumstances so that we had no choice but to be house wives. He sold our cars to pay his debt and further isolate us. It’s always the same pattern and I feel so bad because you can’t expect a 19yr old to know this shit.

[@oldgreggsmadmemes4431]

He lucky the step dad didn't beat him

[@danacarter9147]

Exactly. Pulling malicious types on people, just to find humor is not only beyond hurtful and unforgivable, it's also the worst form of bullying At least,1st OP's stepdaughter is a real angel to him, God bless her heart.😒

[@adriana.k.maxwell]

I don't get the YTA on the pajama story. They seem fairly lax with all their exemptions to the rule. My mom would have never let me wear pajamas to breakfast other than if it was Christmas morning or if we were changing sheets. We also weren't allowed on our beds unless we were showered and ready for bed so our sheets would stay clean (only changed when we moved to a much smaller room where our only personal space was our bed). I guess maybe my parents were more strict than I realized but it just seems like a normal rule to me.

[@Sanquinity]

I think most people would see it as a very old fashioned and strict rule these days. Who cares about what you wear in the house? Not even after waking up, just in general. When interacting with Peuple outside of the household sure, but not when you're just at home. You should be able to just feel comfortable in whatever clothing at home. This coming from a person whom always immediately dresses themselves after getting up.

[@Ackalan]

Plus, parents set the rules in the house, it's their house and they are the parents. As long as there's no abuse or illegal activities it's no other person's business.

[@toomanyhungrycats0554]

I have the same apd issue with my social security case manager. She especially is a pain to understand over the phone. The company refuses to even talk to her to get her to speak slower! I think she hates me too because she put "deaf" in my file after asking her numerous times "please slow down i cant understand what you're saying and the phone static makes it worse!"

[@CarlottaHall]

Story 3 NTA. Force met force. They deserved the rant. When it comes to parenting they do not get deference and respect due to age- you become equals in debate but you, being Kai's parent, get the final word and say. Don't trust them to have Kai without supervision in case they arrange a secret meeting behind your back.

[@notajetplane]

I bet if the mom got pranked, she'd be furious.

[@AgapeForgotten]

Honestly, messing with someone's car is sort of attempted murder.. He may not know.. though who doesn't know cutting breaks is a tv trope for killing someone but.. He really needs therapy though.. he may feel alienated that his family is just accepting a stranger in the family, a kind stranger but.. you know, teen angst.Having a therapist could help find out how to fix things without having to fear for your life constantly.

[@mcknight7811]

17:24 I’d have suggested OP would start saying to the dad’s gf “I think it’s amazing you want to honour my mother that way! She’d have been so touched. It’s a great way of always keeping her memory with us. And when the baby is old enough we can tell him all about her. Ha! wouldn’t it be funny if he thought she was his real mum”

[@DrFruikenstein]

WOW! The 19 and 31 year olds together... Ummm, while I think it can work, it often doesn't. I had one girl crushing on me since she was 18, and avoided her until she was 21 when I sat her down and let her realize the age difference. I was 52 at the time. I told her that she would be the youngest grandmother in town. While I didn't tell her "No", I wanted to make sure she knew EXACTLY what she would be getting herself into if we got close, including people calling her a grave robber, and me a cradle robber. Both of us are autistic, and I know from experience that she probably wouldn't handle being called a "grave robber", and probably also my toy very well. My ex wife is 9½ years older than me, and I got called a grave robber, so I know what it feels like. I'll admit that I would have accepted her if she still wanted to give it a go, but she never said anything until she found someone much closer to her age, which is what I was hoping she'd do. I don't care too much about age, but I do care about being in a relationship for the right reasons, and making sure both of us are going to remain comfortable, and in love with each other. I think OP needs to find out EXACTLY what her husband wants from her before things go too much further. There's a huge difference between being a spouse, and a toy. I really hope that things work out for them to be together, but if he's treating her like property, I don't see it working.

[@samanthamaloy4413]

As someone who works in healthcare the receptionist is 100% in the wrong. Especially and grossly in a psych setting. It's not a receptionist place to shame patient period. No argument. That women showed appalling and potentially dangerous behavior publicly shaming metal health patients regardless of behavior it is still not okay. She should have asked follow up questions or tried to understand in stead of deciding after asking one question to someone who was most likely showing clear difficulty in articulating themselves. She needs to learn to keep her personal opinions to herself before she causes someone else harm. (Yes causing someone to have a panic attack does count as causing harm and she's a C*** who needs a different job)

[@HighLordBaron]

God. I feel so sorry for the daughter in the 1st story. I can't imagine the relationship lasting long if the boy continues like this. It will get gradually worse until it leads to a big fight and breakup. Considering OP has zero parental rights, he might not be allowed to see her. Considering how close they seem, it would probably screw with the poor girls life a lot.....

[@cynicalminion]

just going to add... regardless of your opinion on "spreading the message", that guy was being DELIBERATELY deceptive with it... admitting that you know how to get better service w/one of those is a whole EXTRA level of wrong than just making it LOOK like you left money after you're gone...

[@Roedygr]

FATHER'S DAY : It is inconceivable my dad would check who gave him a gift and who did not on father's day. It is even more inconceivable he would chastise those that did not. So stepdad creeps me out. I don't understand why OP hates his stepdad so much. OP did not relate any inexcusable behaviour. I presume it is because OP foolishly blames him 100% for the divorce. That is not sufficient warrant for OP's rudeness.

[@Woodie-xq1ew]

the Kai story: the parents need to make a formal complaint about that "therapist" and report this to the licencing board. what the fuck kind of shitty therapist tells parents to completely disregard their childs wants and feelings. what a great way to show that kid that his feelings don't matter and he isn't important

[@suehirsch6545]

Re controlling 30 yr. old hubby: CONGRATS on getting out of that terrible sitch. He was a narcissistic USER and you can do SO MUCH BETTER. Be sure to not go alone to pick up your stuff, and make sure family knows where you're going.

[@jasminebean5762]

What sort of crazy therapist claims a child should be forced to meet his birth mother, against his wishes? He should meet his birth mother if and when he is ready, not when the woman who abandoned him at birth suddenly decides she wants this.

[@carolgibson-wilson4354]

Guisseppie 2 will get called Jr. People will. assume. He's your son.

[@rmhartman]

if you leave a Bible verse disguised as cash you are more likely to drive someone away from religion because they now see the hypocrisy than to attract someone to your religion.

[@sandraskellen3172]

they should let Kai decide when he is old enough

[@psycojuggalo1642]

31 & 19 he wants a submissive and is trying to groom her into a lifestyle she doesn't want

[@tburr9195]

I came across this post recently and felt compelled to comment even though it was posted quite sometime ago. Just because the man in the one story left the fake tip doesn't mean he was a religious person. Some bad people carry things like that around just for that purpose, not because they believe what is printed on it or want to promote a belief, but just to get great service at a restaurant without having to pay more, because they're cheap. Please do not assume that just because someone is using religious material in a bad manner that it's a proper representation of an entire group. Or for that matter, that they even represent that group. That's like saying all cops are bad, all black people are criminals, all white people are racist etc. It is better to judge people by their actions alone and not the group they may or may not represent without more information.

[@tiffanym1108]

The last story. I had a ex boyfriend like this. But we were in our 30's. I had just had a double breast biopsy and he was helping me bathe so not to get my stitches wet. I decided to get out of the tub before him and just walked around his house in a towel for a bit. There was this sudden banging at the door. It was so forceful I thought it was a cop. I said just a minute and the entire time it took me to get dressed, the pounding continued. I opened the door a crack and his mother burst in pushing past me, yelling at me and asking where A was. I told her he was in the tub. She just walks right into the bathroom and starts talking to him. I was like, WTF? He's an adult worthy of privacy and she insisted her behavior was justified because "he's MY son." After the whole ordeal was done and she left, I told him next time I would open the door butt ass naked. He begged me not to. Let's just say there's a reason he's my ex

[@nyteshayde1197]

Patients choose new doctors all the time for a myriad of reasons. Choosing a new doctor because of a language barrier or an auditory processing disorder is completely valid and I'll bet the doctor would also have suggested someone else since there was significant struggling with communication. That woman was an asshole.

[@georgezp7787]

33:25 think about the location and the job. She should be better prepared to handle it instead of jumping to conclusions. He has disabilities. She doesn't. Again, she should be better equipped to handle it than him.

[@Slythegirl123]

True, for sure. If someone literally starts crying after that, that isn't just being fucking racist lol. As an autistic person I feel this and I'm constantly anxious about being seen as racist because I cannot understand or congnitively work through the accent.

[@suehirsch6545]

Re language barrier and psychiatry: This is a non- issue. NOT the AH, but you may need to explain that it's a language processing thing vs. a racial thing. The receptionist could have handled it better as well, by not jumping to conclusions, but racism runs rampant these days, so I can understand why that was the first thing on her mind. Gentle receptionist is an AH for not digging a bit deeper. Incredibly awesome update. Thanks for letting us all know that things worked out so well.

[@tegantalks9612]

To the lady with the dog, as both a mom and a dog owner, YTA. If my dog is acting crazy and barking lots, it is my job to control her. It sounds like when your dog goes out you need to go out with them at least until they are trained.

[@missyjune9014]

Child names. Know identical twins named: 1) Andy Randy 2) Randy Andy. Feel very sorry for their future hassles.

[@oceanpuddle6439]

As a person who’s sibling has the name as me, it’s horrid. The problems we’ve had are countless; school, credit, TAXES. The list is endless. DONT NAME YOUR KIDS THE SAME POEPLE PLEASE

[@CarlottaHall]

Story 1. NTA. Mom is a jerk enabling her son to be a bully. It makes me wonder who else he is bullying and who he will decide is fair game and what he will consider a prank in the future.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 Changing shampoos? Ok, mean but typical pranks. Messing with a credit card? Red flag! Messing with the car windows and lights? MASSIVE RED FLAGS. Nope. Nope nope. I would have nothing to do with that potential killer after messing with my car.

[@emeraldsword4528]

Story 2: NTA. Op should get kids' opinions, but refusing the extended time during holiday breaks is making me think something negative may be going on there. OP should also ask the kids what they did while under the care of their mother. Also, should EX try to get custody amended, she nay have a hard time as they're at an age where some courts take the childrens' wishes into account.

[@danacarter9147]

Ikr. The ex-wife's gonna drive 2nd OP's kids to go full NC with her, if she forces them have an unwanted bond with her new husband and her other kids; they won't want to spend mother's day with her, invite her to their high school graduations, college graduations, weddings, nor, will they ever let her see her grandchildren. When the ex-wife's new husband divorces her, gets custody of their kids, and replaces her with a stepmother, she'll come begging 2nd OP's kids to forgive her, but that will be to no avail.⚠️

[@emeraldsword4528]

Story 4: only heard the title at this point and my ruling is already NTA. Why? because from other, similar stories other commenters have brought up the potential for identity theft, whether accidental or intentional. One could go into debt and the other placed on the hook for it, one could be arrested for a crime the other committed, and other stuff of varying degrees of severity.

[@brentkaufman1723]

Let's remember George Foreman's five sons: George Jr., George III ("Monk"), George IV ("Big Wheel"), George V ("Red"), and George VI ("Little Joey").

[@Roedygr]

SMOTHERING MOM : I moved out of home when I was 17. Life begins. I bought a house then liberated two of my siblings.

[@jazzamethyst8225]

Father’s Day: that’s awful op, I’m so sorry for you. My stepdad was physically and verbally abusive while I was growing up. However, he does change my oil whenever I need it and he’s borrowed me money when I couldn’t afford to pay him back right away. So I get him his favorite snacks for birthdays and Christmas’s after getting a job when I was 17.

[@leeann5530]

Step son is aweful and your wife is blind. I would absolutely be furious with my son. You can't force relationships, but this kid is cruel. I can't believe no one said anything. The only reason to have laughed at that hurtful display would be to deny the step son the reaction he wanted.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story one : On Mother's Day OP should wrap a stinky pair of his wife's up really pretty and give her that. When she gets upset he should say What? It's only a prank. Sheesh🤷

[@savannahhague4989]

If I'd give a good joke gift, it'd involve balloons and confetti coming out of the box the moment you open it alongside a happy father's day song being played out of the box. That way it'd actually be funny but memoriable in a good way

[@katwiltz1134]

You deserve a Father's Day you sound like a great dad enjoy Father's Day with your son

[@constancepeterson6156]

The ex wants the father of their children to spend Father’s Day alone. While her husband has his 3 children and her to celebrate Father’s Day, Selfish. The ex’s family can celebrations on Mother’s Day.

[@kyab2815]

I am also autistic and have auditory processing issues. My best friends father has a heavy accent and despite years of trying I can't understand 1 in 3 words he says. It also affects me when talking on the phone. I get maybe half the words.

[@honeypot8524]

Doctor story: NTA, the receptionist and Doctor are major AH. OP literally said she couldn't understand the Doctor how on earth does that equal racist? The doctor was unprofessional to email OP and blame her like WTF?

[@stephjovi]

Pyjamas are for sleeping only 🙄. So ridiculous. I work from home Monday and Friday. I work in PJs until I feel like getting dressed. I don't fall asleep during work. How dirty are the pyjamas? Change into clean clothes

[@josepherhardt164]

1:00:08 OMG. Threw away his sweet tea? If this happened in the South, it would be a deal-breaker. The South is where they add tea to their sugar. 1:03:49 Not the light-switch thing. Just run away. OMG. Way back when, my dad would would scold me for leaving the light on in my room even when I did something as simple as go to the kitchen for a drink. One time I figured out the cost of leaving my room light on 24 hours a day for a month. (This was back around 1968.) I went and put a dollar on the kitchen counter and asked him to not bother me any more about it. TIP TO TEENAGERS: Don't do this.

[@joyceneal6169]

YTA. It's totally unreasonable for you to ask your neighbors to keep their children inside because your dog is not trained. That is a you problem, not a them problem. Train your dog. There are often training classes offered at better pet stores. Also, sometimes you can go to a private trainer or have them come to your house to work with you and your dog. Both you and those children deserve to be able to enjoy your yards without incessant barking. As the owner, it is your responsibility to see to it.

[@mariequeerie4645]

So I wanted to share a comment regarding the pj story. I often have my sister’s kids come and stay with me for long periods of time. My only rule regarding sleep wear is that they need to change into something clean before the go to bed. This is a cleanliness issue more than anything. And if they change into something they wish to wear the next day, I tell them to go for it. Another reason why I have them do this is that they will literally wear the same thing for days if I don’t make this rule. So I do think kids require some “policing” as they don’t always have the best habits

[@iamhungey12345]

OP of story 1: *gets treated like crap by his stepson and shamed by the kid's enabler of a mother* I think I could be the AH. Readers: WTF? How are you the AH? At this point I can see the kid killing someone's parents and make fun of the person by saying "Hey I killed your parents, how you like that huh? Why are you crying? It's just a prank bro!" while holding a bloody knife.

[@Roedygr]

AFFAIR BABY : I don't think husband has to adopt the baby. The law assumes any babies born to his wife are his. DNA tests are a recent invention. For the child, just let him fit in with the others. You hovering about will just make his siblings exclude him as different.

[@pigy190]

Honestly, he may not have any rights a child born in marriage. I know in the US in the State I lived in the Husband is the father unless the Husband signs away his rights. Period. There is NOTHING the mother or bio-father can do, regardless of the situation. He might be able to fight for visitation, but if husband is on the Birth Certificate as well, there may not have been anything to do.

[@Slythegirl123]

god the autistic person with APD post HIT ME. My statistics class was hell because I could not handle my teacher's accent due to my apd. I couldn't understand him and my sensitivity just got worse and worse to the point where I muted the zoom call and did it all myself.