MIL Treats My Family 2nd Best To Other In-Laws And I've Had Enough! r/Relationships

[@jakemarie828]

Always nice to hear a story where the spouse supports the OP instead of the toxic in-laws.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

lol, SIL taking offense to anything OP posts online either means that she believes herself and MIL to be the victims in this situation or she knows what going on is unfair and awful but would rather OP and her husband not say anything about it.

[@Wander85942]

Grandma favoritism is real and damaging. Speaking from experience, I got it from both sides of my family. I wouldn’t put up with it or put my kids through wondering why they were not enough for their whole lives.

[@robertx8020]

Thats why OP and her husband left The right move Go NC with those AHs

[@Wander85942]

@@robertx8020 good. No grandparents is better than dealing with that treatment

[@Kris-wo4pj]

my grandma still refuses to believe she had a favorite it was my stepdad's first kid ie the son. she keeps bring up shit from when i was 5 she did for me. my brother wasnt born until i was 8.

[@Draggonny]

My SD's maternal grandma has such clear favouritism a child can see it. The cousins we're always the favourites until granny fell out with her other daughter, then SD was the favourite for a while. SD used to hate going to grans. Then one time we were expressing our commiseration that she was going to be stuck with gran for the day and to paraphrase SD "It's okay. I'm the favourite grandchild now because grandma fell out with Auntie Gem. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts". Sadly the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because SD's mum had a son and SD got dropped like a hot potato overnight. She's in therapy for it now.

[@PonderingStudent]

One set of my grandparents had a very clear 'order' of favourites for the grandchildren, starting with the golden grandSON (those grandparents had had 2 daughters and were always disappointed about it). Children pick up on those sorts of dynamics, who the favourite is and who isn't, far more quickly and easily than most adults realise. I was well aware of it from pretty young. Fortunately, my other set of grandparents were amazing, and we saw them far more often, so the favouritism it didn't bother me much. My amazing grandma is still one of the most wonderful people to ever be in my life, I still miss her alot.

[@ajb7530]

I know how OP feels. I have a 1 sided relationship with my father, step mom, cousins and aunts and uncles. I make all the effort to communicate with them. I never hear from any of them, unless I contact them. My solution, is I stopped talking to them. I'm creating my own family, and I may even change my last name.

[@paolagutierrez2568]

Story 1, OP’s husband is the black sheep that they take from but to whom they never give. I am happy they relocated! Even the kids feel relieved.

[@shells500tutubo]

Just wish it hadn't taken so long.

[@corlenajames1381]

@@Jane_doe2400 Uh oh y'all- One of OP's toxic in-laws has entered the chat👀😆🤣!

[@corlenajames1381]

@@Jane_doe2400 The only thing you've effectively communicated here is that you enjoy creating family drama or at least being centered in the midst of it... Yikes, LOL. If that's what it takes to keep your life interesting, then you gon' & do you, babe 😆✌️

[@kateemma22]

Weeping at the husband who silently packed up his whole life now that the people he gave up everything for have turned on the woman he loves most in the world. This is it, men, this is what women want - a man who knows just what to do without being asked because he understands his partner.

[@averycheesypotato]

The husband deserves all the praise, but it’s so gross that he should even have to choose between his old & new family. His mother & sister are trash for not considering or prioritizing him, ever

[@dianasmith8248]

@@averycheesypotato his mother and sister sound like you’re classic pack of users. Those are the people who think they should get whatever they want without ever having to reciprocate. I also would not be surprised if the sister was jealous of op and her brother.

[@corlenajames1381]

Story 1: I've literally just gone through this sort of situation with my extended family. My kids kept wondering why they weren't treated the same as the other kids. I finally figured out that it was best to just distance myself and our family from them. Best decision I could've made for my family. The kids haven't asked for them since💖

[@kimsvisualdiary]

Story 1: just go NC. Not like MIL would even notice. She’ll only care when it starts to make her look bad.

[@shells500tutubo]

Or when she needs something

[@darklightmagus1222]

The consequence of cheating in a relationship should ALWAYS be a break up. The severity of a punishment should reflect the offense. Cheaters won't learn their lesson if they get to keep the relationship they disrespected. The OP is an AH to himself. He is trying to save a relationship the other person obviously doesn't want.

[@lynnw7155]

If your partner cheats, you either forgive them or break up. If you choose to forgive, you forgive completely. Putting up lots of rules and conditions just means that the trust is gone. If you can't trust them, why are you with them?

[@shebakoby]

story 1: MiL sounds like a narcissist or similar cluster-of-bees or non-clinical flavor of narcissist. The behaviors track - she only paid attention to OP until her Golden Child (SiL) had children, and then OP becomes the scapegoat of sorts along with OP's husband.

[@dianasmith8248]

Story one: it’s going to be hilarious, having to see OPs MIL, BIL and SIL actually have to do things solely for themselves. Not to mention her mother-in-law does not realize that people like her daughter will immediately shove her into a nursing home when she gets older if she gets sick, because it will be just too hard for her to take care of her mother. I also think that her sister-in-law just may be jealous of her. Jealous in the sense that OP’s husband works his butt off so she can stay home whereas her husband can’t or won’t.

[@LilianaSolaris]

This would be the only time id actually say try guilt tripping "kids are starting to wonder why grandma doesnt love them anymore" kinda trip

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Well I’ll give the wife credit on the second post, she really is trying to fix things. People most likely think OP is a fool for not immediately divorcing but that sort of thing is easier said than done. At least they can’t say they didn’t try to work things out and hopefully they can move past this and rekindle the relationship.

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

And, hey, working on things means that if you do have to separate, it can at least be done civilly and both parties can say that they tried.

[@AngelDeed]

Why is it such a huge virtue to "work on things"? Why are people on reddit so terrified of divorce? Marriage and staying together forever is a manmade concept. Sometimes things just end and it's natural.

[@azadalamiq]

@@AngelDeed cuz divorce is expansive, and not everyone can afford it. need to go through lawyers and the court. Figure out cost and how to split shared assets. It really isn't easy.. it isn't like a break up...

[@concrete-d5v]

Hahah "im pretty sure the real killer was cheating" that comment got me

[@driversuz44]

Story 1: Don't hesitate to be honest with the kids when they ask - "Grandma likes Auntie more than she likes Daddy, so she spends her time with Auntie's children. She has always been like that. It's very unkind of her, but we should love her anyway, because she's Grandma." Make sure the kids know whose fault it al is; otherwise they'll assume it's their own fault.

[@EnDB]

The kids are little, they have time to forget her. Stay away completely.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 1. Nta. The mother-in-law has made it abundantly clear who the golden child is and it is definitely not Op's husband. I could not imagine being so cruel to my daughter-in-law. Not to mention ignore my grandchildren like that. The sister-in-law is just as bad Opie watch for kids for 3 years for free and got dumped and treated like the Pariah just because she asked to get paid. Op was no use to them anymore so there was no use in having her around is what it boils down to. I'm so glad that her husband got a wonderful job opportunity out of state so they can start fresh and be away from the toxic people that they were stuck with as family members

[@candiebarr6745]

I never had any luck with adopt a grandparent type thing. Tried 3 times. They always died after the first visit.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

My brother and I grew up with my cousin's all getting more time and attention from our grandparents on both sides. My dad's little sister was the baby of the family and had four children and she was always going through some custody thing or another or things with her own mental health issues and my grandparents were constantly buying plane tickets for her kids to come visit and fly back and forth and like getting school supplies for them or housing them and just having more time with them all together. Then, my grandparents on my mom's side we're always babysitting my aunt's kids and paying for different activities and clubs and groups that they wanted to be in and stuff like that. Honestly though, both sets of grandparents still very clearly loved us and treated us well. It was more like the squeaky wheel gets the grease type of thing and we probably wouldn't have even really noticed so much or let it hurt us so much if my mother wasn't constantly pointing it out and complaining about it TO US. It was HER actions more than theirs that just reinforced how much less we were loved than all the cousins / other grandkids....

[@CensorshipVictim]

Story 1 NTA: my in-laws and my parents did this to my kids, because 1. My husband and I are the black sheep of the family and 2. our kids are the only boys. Our family was always treated like the hired help, while our golden child siblings were catered to and given everything. We went no contact and moved to another country. Now that te kids are grown our in-laws are begging to live with us, because they are old and need caregivers. Or our siblings want to use us for a free vacation as we live in Sardinia

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Story 1: NTA

[@thegimpygamer]

Anyone else notice that its always the female in-laws treating the wife badly? Usually the MIL but many times the SIL(s) as well. Not to say there arent exceptions before the online idiots with pitchforks come out, but generally speaking its the female in-laws who treat the wife like a outsider. That comes from the difference in the way we view things. Plenty of times you hear a FIL say he is gaining a daughter but not as much the MIL saying that. For the MIL she is losing a son. Thats the difference. The female in-laws feel like something is being taken from them rather than gaining something. Thats why we see so many "mean girl" like scenarios when a new woman is brought into the family. They feel like this new woman is coming in and taking something that was theirs, and as such react badly towards her. That even explains this MiLs playing favorites with her kids. She feels like her daughter is still her daughter where as her son is not her son, but her DILs husband. I find it all absurd because they create a self fulfilling prophecy by shunning the new wife which drives away the son. They end up losing the son/brother by their own actions. Well unless he is a mamas boy and they succeed in driving away the wife which has sadly happened in far too many of these stories.

[@cynthiaappleton4668]

I just wanted to say how much I love your background!! Very relaxing

[@avaphynx]

Girl's or guys night isn't inherently bad. It sucks that people used that to cheat.

[@user-wh8qx1xi3k]

I feel like, for the guy in story 2, it would be worth doing a little digging to make sure his wife wasn’t sexually assaulted that night. I don’t think she is acting the way someone who wanted to cheat would act; she was cold and distant at first, but it clearly wasn’t because she fell out of love with OP or even because she preferred the “man-wh0re” to OP. Plus, she confessed to cheating immediately. Maybe all that because she felt tainted or not deserving of OP’s love?Yeah she could have been feeling that anyway, but it’s also true that that sentiment is very common in victims of SA. And agreed to his conditions. She also never tried to break them behind his back, or else she’d still be close with that friend group. In other words, it does not sound like she has an unfaithful personality. While it IS possible that she is just a different person while drunk, personally, if I were OP, I would be worried about the possibility that she was SA’d. Her friend group sounds terrible too. This is a huge leap, but, to be honest, I would not be surprised if they somehow were involved in what happened (from something relatively ‘innocent’ as just saying they should get together to something much more insidious…). Their refusal to cut this guy off is telling.

[@susankaempfer8427]

That’s an interesting thought… I wonder if there will ever be a way to get the truth now, though…

[@carlrood4457]

How much you want to bet those "friends" are all single, divorced, and/or cheating themselves? These toxic girl groups hate when a member is in a stable relationship.

[@user-kl8lo6rj5i]

OP's wife may as well go back to her old friend group at this point because OP isn't interested in his marriage any more. It isn't a stable relationship. Really, he's just stringing his wife along letting her think that he might forgive her and stay with her. It won't last.

[@hanoh2904]

It's very common in my culture.the favorite grandkids are her daughter's. But the daughter in law's kids are another woman's

[@salomerodriguez5145]

I was tagging along with my best friend's family to visit her paternal grandparents and idk what prompted it but she explained that there was always a slight preference towards her cousins from her aunt. The explanation? Well you know for certain that your daughter's children are actually your grandchildren, while you never really know about your son's children. The irony? My friend's father was the cheater. Istg people are weird.

[@roelthas]

It's not "let her go," it's "get rid of that trash."

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

you know with Husband going no contact and moving states away I can see the future MIL will be older more feeble cant keep up even her own house and care and SILs will treat her the same as MIL treated OP when she asked to be paid after three years of free babysitting because they only see relationships as transactional "what can you give me" grandchildren will no longer be children and won't need her MIL can't do anything for SIL so SIL won't do anything for her MIL will pull the family card to get Husband to help her like he always used to but it will be too late and dying alone in a home with SILs wanting her to die quicker so they can turn into vultures over her stuff it says a lot about how the children were effected when they are happy not to have relatives around and to move states away from family

[@BisexualBeauty]

My fiance mom was this way she favored his sister kid...and sister didnt even take care of her kod yet also was favored..and my fiance was used for babysitting and his $$ ...toxic humans sadly. No contact.

[@ChiquitaBanana-si5qq]

Don’t be envious. It seems to turn on people, eventually.

[@marecort3697]

I’m sorry, but mothers tend to be closer to her daughter’s kids than her son’s kids. My mom was closer to my son than my brother’s kids. She loves my brother’s kids, did a ton for them, but my SIL didn’t like to be told what to do, and I looked to her for advice. SIL had her own mother for that. I have a childhood friend who was the only girl out of 7 kids (3rd youngest overall). Her mom told me that she was closer to my friend’s kids than to her sons’ kids, and she had been a grandma looooong before my friend had kids. Not that it can’t happen, but I’ve seen it more that way. Oh, and I’m FAAAAAAR from the golden child. (I’m probably the 6th favorite of 4 kids. Yes, I wrote it that way on purpose, because that’s how my childhood felt.)

[@mikehilbert9349]

Story 1: NTA, I would go NC, including holidays. I like the adopt a grandparent. There are plenty of lonely elders out there. Moving cross country would be an awesome move. It is interesting how much everyone knows the MIL is the problem and are completely triggered when the narrative is highlighted. ETA: After the update, what an awesome way for life to fix the problem. The kids are so awake to how crappy of a grandma they have ETA after last comment. Sounds like one of MIL or SILs minions.

[@keijogirl]

I would have asked why she wouldn’t want to include them all in grandma day? Aside from that, just back off and let them do their own thing. Adopt a Grandparent thing sounds great.

[@kateajurors8640]

I really feel that it is an u reliable narrator in that story. And I was the one who's mom and grandma had beef and was NOT the favorite grandchild. But this narrator in the first story is very sus

[@LovesGaming37]

Why does a stay at home need a babysitter?

[@Jasonfallen71]

How do these “families” get to this point?! Evil nasty deeds happen repeatedly plus nasty words but you are still nice and celebrate with them?! “You! Stop being a pig about this. I know what you’re doing and I’m not taking anymore crap from you or your flying monkeys! Grow up! Stop everything or we. Are. Gone! Do you understand me?!” With a raised voice but not screaming or getting abusive. The decent people will reveal themselves - if any exist. Some people deserve the misery they continually heap on themselves. I feel for people who actually try to make their lives better and who protect their kids from demented “family”.

[@shells500tutubo]

Cheaters like to cheat, and this wasn't Op's wife's first tie cheating. he really should cut his posses and start over with someone else/ Maybe see a therapist to see if he has a type of woman he likes that isn't the best for him. You know, like the woman who keeps on picking abusive men.

[@treco2583]

Story 1 is NOT about OP. It’s about her husband. OP thinks MIL doesn’t like her. She wants MIL to treat her the same way she treats SIL. That’s never going to happen. OP is not her daughter. She’s not choosing her daughter over OP. She’s choosing her daughter over her son.

[@RedCeltay]

Off topic, but what is the smoke coming from bottom of couch that goes out the window?

[@materhead5051]

Story 1) OP is being entitled when it comes to Grandma, and I'm surprised so many people are on her side. What an entitled P.O.S. She is LOVING tha drama and bringing her kids into all of this essentially turning them against other people in the family. I bet her husband only takes her side so he doesn't have to deal with her crap.

[@stuffedninja1337]

Hope everyone’s having a nice day.

[@Sabrinawater]

I don’t agree with putting the invitation on the fridge bc why get the kids involved like that? Other than that they did the best they could

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

The folks who were speculating about vague booking make me laugh. If you don't assume everything is about you, nothing vague booked will affect you again. Because...all honesty? Only once has someone who thought I was vaguebooking them been right. I used to post a lot of heavy reflections after therapy and it amazed me how often someone assumed something about being bullied in junior high or molested was about them. It's like...damn...why would you think THAT is about you? Reacting to emotional posts as definitively being about you is such a straight up narcissistic thing to do.

[@alexanderhenby1362]

OP I think this guy didn't cheat with your wife, consentsually. She won't go to the clubs and bars alone anymore and she ditched her friend group after this incident. That sounds like a lot of girl friends I have had over the years who told a friend they were assaulted, "friend" said something like "he's such a great guy/ no one would believe you" and they took it to heart. Especially if you at seeing drastic changes in personality. I'm not saying she was definitely assaulted, but maybe suggest marriage counseling and try to ease her into some personal therapy. But keep that possibility in the back of your mind.

[@AlexxeMJFAN]

It's rare i say this, but.. The husband don't deserve his mother and sisters.. He's the perfect husband ! MIL and SILs are seriously awful, entitled, childish and selfish.. the husband is the opposite, and i'm so happy that he's this way! He truly cares about OP and their kids, and that's exactly what a spouse should do! I hope the best for OP, her husband and the kids! ❤

[@DisneyChar]

S1 bye stacy, or whatever her name is, thats not grandma. S2 nta, but is this the life you want? Especially since her affair partner is part of her main friend circle and that her activities didn't affect the friend circle.... that means they and she has always, and will always support cheating. Update: thats just how he is? So the entire group actively cheats with him?

[@hazeltulip]

I feel like in law, family of OP in story one found this post and have decided to swarmed, otherwise there’s some really messed up people on here

[@sweaterweatherlady]

Growing up, I am blessed to have had equal love (twins) from our grandparents. My heart goes out to those that did not get the same equality. You are so, so, SO loved and valid.

[@adeand4310]

Dump the toxic

[@notevenlistening6072]

Good afternoon!

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 2. Nta overall but he is one to himself for staying with a cheater like that. He cannot trust her and he knows he cannot trust her because she's not trustworthy They have a prisoner prison guard relationship right now where he has to constantly check everything to make sure she's not doing something she isn't supposed to and that is no way to live. All they are doing is breeding more and more resentment between themselves. They need to call it a day and go their separate ways

[@piratsnygg]

Story 2: Obviously NTA for being cheated on. You stayed because you really wanted it to work, and it was easier. But now your whole relationship is based on control and misery. If you truly forgive someone, and want to move on, you can't do what you're doing. Telling her not to see that friend anymore was fine, but forbidding her to go out without you? That's not on. You obviously don't trust her, and she's obviously not happy with the current situation, no matter what she says. So in the end, unfortunately, YTA.

[@edgelordhedgelord2805]

Never been here this early wow

[@meiimacca4054]

I think for s1 the husband didnt have a healthy relarionship with his family and got involved with someone just like his mom so esh

[@dream6562]

Yta: your in law is working, they need the help more

[@patty-pat-pat]

Wait, I was all there with OP untill she said 'I'm a stay at home mom and my SIL works, so I feel like she's punishing me for not working by not giving us a grandma day'. Like what?! Dont you have your own mother? Where's the other grandma in all this? Grandma is helping a working mother (her own daughter) out with the kids and the Stay at home Princess is throwing a fit.

[@shells500tutubo]

I got the impression that Op doesn't have a family (it happens).And Grandma spends NO time with Op's kids. NONE.

[@LadyPii]

​@@Jane_doe2400 how about OP's kids? They didn't deserve their grandma anymore?

[@LadyPii]

How about the MIL not spending time with OP's kids? Grandma doesn't need to have a relationship with kids that have a stay-at home parents?

[@LadyPii]

@@Jane_doe2400 wait, OP told that before SIL's kid was born, the grandma sometimes did something with the twins separately. Is that called childcare or a grandparent having a relationship with grandchildren? Also, was the SIL not entitled, when she used OP for free childcare?

[@lalvarez5151]

Op is entitled and mad grandma doesn't watch her kids for free. Op sounds lazy asf

[@Mr.andMrs.Smith_0420]

Your first sign was the fact that she wanted to go to clubs at 31yrs old while married, women who are serious about their relationships don't go out with their single girlfriends to bars and clubs, especially when there's a man involved, Op should've never allowed any of this, it's not controlling to ask your wife to not go out to nightclubs and hang out with other dudes, it's being realistic and respectful to your spouse.

[@GoldenXBoots]

I feel this story has two sides. I am a parent and so is my sister. She is a co parent and needs our parents support to get her child from school twice weekly due to her working schedule. I see my parents every Sunday afternoon with our children. No hard feelings, as it is what it is sometimes. Maybe grandma does not realize how rough it is to watch your children all day, every day. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Don't let your family in law get to you. You and your husband are a team and need to stick together. Things will get better when the children are older.

[@GoldenXBoots]

Oh wow.. the story gets So. Much. Worse. 😮

[@lindajennens9033]

nope it doesn't, My fam had a loving grandma until the younger cousins started turning up. Nothing against the young ones but the 'dumping' of us hurt and still does decades later.

[@smapa1185]

​@@GoldenXBootsYeahhhhh... MIL sounds like a shitty person...

[@Kris-wo4pj]

it doesnt get better when the kid gets older. the oldest just gets roped into helping and is shown very little love and support. i should know whats my life. my family refuses to see it so im distant and apparently i have mental problems for being distant. i do have mental problems but its from abuse and neglect not just cuz. they caused my issues. and they caused my siblings and cousins issues too. my sister never moved out and cant hold down a job. my brother was coddled and idk how he got to be semi normal and independent. my cousin is being extremely coddled and not given proper support to deal with his autism so hes probably never going to live alone in his life and im not helping him or any of my siblings. i did my time already.

[@lalvarez5151]

​@Jane_doe2400 the op is the one that sounds like a narcissist. She torpedoed the relationship with the husband and his family because they would not give her free babysitting. She kept putting things on Facebook to put her point accross...then said it didn't apply to them, but then said the husband said he agreed with what she posted. She sounds like a crap stirrer

[@vinnie6604]

You asked to be paid after you babysit for SIL that was the issue. Enjoy your new home Why don't you just get a divorce so you can stop being a policeman and she can go clubbing without regre

[@TheDarwinProject1]

On the last story, I really hope OP & their wife went through the details of the night she slept with a friend in the group. As in, does she remember much of the night, did she ever leave her drink unattended, & most importantly, does she remember *enthusiastically consenting* to having sex with the friend. If she doesn't remember the later part of the night, just that she woke up in her "friend's" bed very early the next morning & her clothing off, was she feelig much more tender in the morning than she has with other partners? Were there any bruises or maybe makeup was a huge mess, looking like she had been crying? We've heard more than one story in r/relationships & r/AITA, where one extrovert partner goes out, gets drugged (wasn't one person drugged by Chapstick?), is either legitimately sexual assaulted &/or put in positions to make it look like the partner consented. Any "evidence of cheating" may be used as blackmail, to break up a relationship, &/or the force the partner to keep quiet about the assault. The person who targeted the partner, drugged them, removed their clothes, sexually assaulted them, took pictures, positions the partner, &/or benefits from the assault &/or faking consensual sex, may not even be the same person. We've heard one story where the OP's SIL planned, drugged, & benefited, but SIL had also convinced herself that OP's husband & whole family were benefit from having OP gone. Not saying its impossible that the wife in the last story cheated on OP with the creepy guy in the group...just think since many partners have woken up with no memory naked next to someone, that someone says it was consensual & has photo "evidence" where the partner is doing sexual acts on the person & is convinced that they consented & cheated on their partner. There's been OP's whose husbands were sexually assaulted & think that because they didn't say "no" to their BOSS, think that means they cheated on the OP. In that one, I think he was omitting most the 🚩details, just kept begging OP to forgive him, so redditers who picked up on some 🚩 & those who were confused by the vagueness (like it happening during work hours) & OP having no instinct to ask him more questions, gave OP a bunch of things to ask him about, which is how the sexual assault was uncovered.

[@angelatrent8268]

At face value op1 is nta. However, the story is too vague for me to believe op's account. It seems like the "favoritism" only started when sil's kid was born and grandma was spending more time with the new baby. This reads more like an only child suddenly getting a sibling and is upset that they are no longer getting all the attention from parents, not understanding that a newborn requires more attention. Was op asking or DEMANDING mil spend more time with her kids? Was mil distancing herself from the kids or just op, and thus spending less time with the kids as a result? Idk but my take is op is not beeing completely honest and skewing details in her favor

[@JSinuYasha]

Yeah, I had the feeling OP was leaving out a lot. I mean, I know being a stay at home Mom is hard work but idk how OP didn't understand why her SI whose working multiple jobs (if I can recall) doesn't need the extra help. Also, it kinda rubbed me the wrong way that OP wanted to charge her SIL to watch her lil neice/ nephew.

[@AlexM86]

I do not believe op in story 1 for a second. Whenever I hear stay at home homeschooling my bs detector goes crazy. It almost always equates to fundamentalist Christian with the largest persecution complex who tries to preach and convert at every step.

[@lalvarez5151]

Not sure what story people where hearing but Op sounded insufferable. She is a stay at home mom and is mad the grandma would rather watch the kids of her daughter who WORKS? Op sounds narcissistic as heck

[@lalvarez5151]

Story 1- ESH.different take here. Look, grandma's daughter works and Op is a stay at home wife. Sounds like she wants the grandma to watch her kids so she has free time. Maybe if Op workers grandma would watch the kids as well. Whats up with all these people saying go NC because grandma doesnt want to be a free babysitter....Op ended up in the hospital because they where mean to her? Op sounds like a nightmare. She has a therapist too? Holy dang what a drama queen.

[@elski5067]

Grandmas time she can do what she wants to do with it. If she doesnt like you it is what it is.

[@shells500tutubo]

Then they can't demand Op's husband's time and energy to do serious labor intensive things for them.

[@kiraalexandraruizburgos1236]

🦐

[@AngelDeed]

Having a small stroke over grandma os a huge overreaction.... Some family members just don't get along or are not nice. That's life, get over it, you are not going to change them.

[@lalvarez5151]

Op sounds like a drama queen. Lol

[@roverdover4449]

Are the first story's OP's children the grandchildren of the MIL in question? That could explain it a bit.

[@LadyPii]

OP tells, that MIL helped with their twin babies, when they were born. Also later tells, that they have had one kid more since then. So yeah, they are MIL's grandchildren.

[@debbierellim6474]

Why not tell the truth? “Kids grandma doesn’t love you.” Grandma won’t change so tell the truth!

[@boogitywoogity248]

I’ll leave this comment here for the women who cheat, the first thing you should do if you want to save the relationship isn’t apologize, it’s ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT THE FRIEND YOU TOLD HIM NOT TO WORRY ABOUT. that’s the first thing to do, admit you’re dumb, and he was smart, and if you’d just listened nothing would’ve happened. That’s a huge issue that never gets addressed, I hope this guys therapist does address it. If a man tells you something is bad, and then it is bad, you should save him from the effort of I told you so, he’s dealing with the pain of your actions, you should grovel and cry and admit you’re a lying garden tool who knew her friend was a shady gross man, and just didn’t want to admit it,

[@angie38]

Naw, Story 1. OP is a passive aggressive instigator. The family just doesn't like you, therefore can't be around your kids because that means dealing with you.

[@shells500tutubo]

Isee you are like MIL and SIL. BUt they are ALL passive-aggressive, and all of them instigate.

[@lalvarez5151]

​@shells500tutubo the Op is the one putting passive aggressive Facebook posts that she said "didn't apply to them" and later the husband said he agreed with the posts. OP is a crap stirrer

[@invisible123-l9d]

Story 2. He would have expected her to do nothing, when HE cheated. He made her a prisoner, and never bothered to ask WHY she cheated. Women do not cheat for no reason, only men do that. If a woman cheats, there are reasons, such as being neglected, lack of respect, no love, no support, no affection, being dismissed, or ignored, or ridiculed, or mistreated, or a man being sexually inconsiderate. Men are NOT the saints they claim they are. I dare one of you, to reply respectfully. No? Didn't think so.

[@Whitneypyant]

Hey I am early

[@TheIronwil]

“Girl’s nights” are frequently cover for “Cheating nights”. If a girlfriend/wife wants an occasional night out with her girlfriends, that’s possibly OK. Depends greatly on the friends. If her friends are party girls, then any man would be a fool to tolerate them going out partying without him. And if girl’s nights are a frequent occurrence, you can be nearly 100% certain she’s cheating. Also, OP is being extremely foolish. His wife goes out on a regular basis drinking without him. This isn’t “wife” behavior. It’s college party girl behavior. If my wife ever came home at 5am after being out drinking, I’d ask if she wanted to remain married, or would rather join her single friends by getting divorced. Seriously… even if they weren’t married, but were in a committed relationship, this would be unacceptable behavior. And NO, OP should NOT keep her locked down. He should divorce her. OP’s conditions aren’t unreasonable, but staying in this relationship is idiocy.

[@YellaBellaReno]

Seems a little harsh. OP says she never came home past midnight, save the time she cheated. That seems pretty tame, given their age and childless status. She also confessed to cheating on her own, and she didn’t try to hide that something was up. She was more drunk than usual, and this guy friend in the group may have taken advantage, which would explain why she cut off the whole group when they didn’t have her back. Also, OP doesn’t like to go out, it would seem. It would be pretty unfair of him to ask that she not go out without him, while simultaneously never wanting to go out.

[@diamcole]

What you and OP are describing is a pattern of toxic and disrespectful behavior. If alarm bells are going off like that over the occasional girl's night out, you've either chosen the wrong partner and should exit the relationship or possibly have some healing to do.

[@TheIronwil]

@@diamcole The second sentence in my post said that an occasional girl’s night is possibly OK. But frequent girl’s nights are VERY likely to result in cheating.

[@diamcole]

@@TheIronwil "Possibly okay" is exactly why I said either you've potentially made a poor choice in a partner or you have some healing to do. Recognizing incompatibility (one likes to go out and one doesn't) or toxic behavior (masking so they can cheat) and exiting stage left makes perfect sense, trying to restrict someone's time with friends with no prior flag or issue does not.

[@TheIronwil]

@@YellaBellaReno An occasional girl’s night might be OK. Frequent girl’s nights are not. Cheating during these outing is so frequent it’s almost to be expected when I hear a story where the wife has weekly (or more) girl’s nights. It also depends highly on her friends. If they’re single/divorced, this is even more dangerous. I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard about single friends encouraging the wife to “have fun” while out drinking. I understand what you said about the husband not liking the bar scene, but that doesn’t make bar-hopping without him acceptable. Coming home frequently at midnight after drinking all night is ridiculous for a married person, male or female. This is likely a young couple problem, as in my age group we rarely have to point out that bar-hopping is a bad look for a spouse. It’s as clear as day.

[@cynthiaappleton4668]

How cool would that be if there was a GrannysRus, I would be the first in line

[@jerryjackson7517]

In the situation I know op is nta but god i hate her v

[@InvasionAnimation]

op 2 Who care that the female dog ain't happy. Keep the control over it, or leave.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

Your wife must be so happy

[@JasperCatProductions]

This is your mother in laws daughter…you are surprised she is closer to her daughter then you an in law. Your SIL works so of course she needs more help then a SAHM….you seem ridiculous. Honey if you don’t like it lump it. Don’t have her in your life. I was a SAHM I got zero help didn’t expect it. Stop belly aching and protect your kids.

[@YellaBellaReno]

She’s not upset that her MIL is closer to her SIL than she is to her. She’s upset her MIL is closer to her SIL and her children than she is her husband and their children. OP wasn’t even asking for a babysitter; she was asking if she and the kids could have a grandma’s day too, even if it was less frequent than the treatment her SIL’s family gets. The reason so many young families choose to live close to a grandparent is for the support. In OP and her husband’s case, they were giving more support than they were getting, so why live so close when there are better opportunities in other places? So they left. Makes sense to me.

[@shylavender]

You completely missed the point, huh? Did you even listen to the rest of the story?

[@shylavender]

@@YellaBellaRenoExactly! That and the entire family completely ganged up on OP and bullied her for the most pathetic “reasons”. I feel like this person just selectively chose what to hear and ignored the rest of it.

[@only1one1me]

Found the SIL

[@YellaBellaReno]

@@only1one1me 😂🤣😂

[@EricSanchez-ds3yu]

What makes op an A$$hole is staying with someone who cheated on you 🫵😆