My Childs Father Came Back Into Her Life And Is Saying "He Represents The Family" r/Relationships

[@beebs4283]

telling your grieving wife “don’t worry honey, i have a spare!” is on a new level of assholery

[@i.ftekhar]

If you’ve ever played the game “mothered” it reminded me of that

[@juliearmfield2634]

That family is nuts the guy and his wife are almost on bunny boiler level nuts, there is no way I would trust my little girl within a thousand yards of them

[@KaitoKiara]

​@@juliearmfield2634 I don't think, the wife is always nuts, just out of her mind because of the grief. Her husband is a different story. How cruel is it to ignore your daughter, then take her as a therap, doll and then take her away from the wife Despite what this means for OP and the daughter, it is extremely cruel to his wife.

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@KaitoKiara no I don't think she's actually that's all the time either she is right now especially with the grief of her daughter. And I do think the family is nuts for enabling her and feeding into her delusions and not actually getting her the help she really needs. I apologize for putting it like I did I should have put it better

[@0SC2]

"Please kindly speak to the void" is a delightfully classy way to say "fuck off." OP's great.

[@GiordanDiodato]

especially when those MRAs are probably abuse defenders.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Damn that's good " please kindly speak into the void" I wish I was that classy. It's just so much easier for me to just say f off

[@catsncrows]

@@juliearmfield2634 I have before pointed at a brick wall and said to my batsheet sister "please go talk to that wall, I'm sure it cares more about what you have to say than I do" because I got tired of being randomly crticized for idk existing?

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@catsncrows yep sometimes it's the family that we have to say f off to the most

[@angerydestroyer]

The ones who said ops a monster are definitely blind abuse enablers jfc he wanted to use ops kid as a therapy kid then go dump her back

[@TsukiKageTora]

He called it cruel for OP not to let him use her daughter to help his wife grieve but didn’t think it is cruel just to… give the daughter back and not be part of her life at all once his wife is better? Yea it is terrible to lose a daughter but it is horrible for a little child to lose their parental figure because they actually didn’t love them but wanted to use them. This guy is the entire toolbag

[@KittyWillCutYou]

He's a freak, honestly.

[@rickraber1249]

Yes, and honestly, as sick as the grieving mother is, will she EVER get better, even with the little girl there? And would she not just crash and burn again when the child was returned (like a kid rental) to her mother? Talk about screwed up. And calling little Katie by the name of the deceased child? Wow.

[@coreymartin6486]

I question if he knows the pain of losing a child as well, despite the miscarriage.

[@magiv4205]

​@@rickraber1249They would 100% try to sue for parental rights or just straight up kidnap the daughter and move to another state or country, because that is now "their" child. That way, they never have to give her back.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@coreymartin6486 I don't think she miscarried, I think their children died after birth

[@madambutterfly1997]

The only reason he's pushing for parental rights he's trying to flee the country with your daughter

[@impishrebel5969]

It's actually worse than that, he was trying to replace the baby girl his wife lost with his other daughter.

[@madambutterfly1997]

​@@impishrebel5969 disgusting

[@badkitty4922]

​@impishrebel5969 then discard her back to OP once his wife "got better". Like OP's little girl is a frikken book to be borrowed, read, and given back. Ugh.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

What do you wanna bet that he was cheating on his wife when he slept with Op?

[@alosialee]

​@@kimberlyterasaki4843it would make absolute sense given that everyone at the Christmas gathering related to he and his wife were giving the OP all these judgemental looks and ish. Wild.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Honestly I feel bad for Jeff's wife,because she is obviously going through a hard time, and it sounds like he is only making things worse. How can his wife possibly move on when he is telling her he is going to give her back their daughter through OP's daughter? That is so unbelievably f*cked up. Also, I really wonder how old their daughter was and if he was married to the wife when he slept with OP. Cos if OP's daughter is an affair baby, that's even worse.

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

Yeah. He has absolutely no rights, and a child is not a therapy animal or security blanket. A child is a person with feelings. He and his family need to get his poor wife a grievance therapist.

[@catherinejones5723]

I do feel bad for her too. Her pain doesn't trump the wellbeing of a young child.

[@pippo17173]

Of course their is possible cheating here. I'm not gonna be surprised if that is the case. I hope his wife soon gets help and maybe realize her husband is horrible and leaves him.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

A lot of people are like that, because actually getting a person fixed is "like so much woooooooork" They consider it easier to just enable and appease

[@nicolelawrence7722]

I think we're dismissing Jeff's grief too. He's completely irrational and desperate, sounds like depression to me. It's not an excuse, I'm just saying the loss just didn't happen to Jeff's wife, it happened to Jeff too.

[@noneedtoknow07]

Story 2: The response OP should have said to his dad "Responsibility?... You married Liz, not me."

[@tully6648]

Right? "They're her kids, not mine."

[@marshawargo7238]

I think dad & Liz have been putting extra push on her kids to "hang out with their brother" like parentifying OP!😢 Good thing they are step siblings, if not OP would have to wait until 18 to get away from the velcro kids!

[@amoxcillicpsychosis2967]

@@marshawargo7238 Sounds like they want a free babysitter.

[@zharriebruce-ford6013]

Story 2: I have a sneaky suspicion that the kids are so clingy is because the OP’s father and step parent are not giving them enough actual attention and parenting them. I don’t think it’s just a case of “Shiny Sibling Syndrome “

[@jusminejustice2794]

That’s got to be the case, because this behavior doesn’t seem normal.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I was wondering if one of the parents (or both) mught be abusive so the siblings see OP as their saviour.

[@loiracitr]

Sounds to me that OP is being parentified

[@trashotaku]

@@loiracitr yeah it’s definitely either OP’s step siblings trying to seek out some kind of affection that they’re desperately craving or OP’s getting parentified like you said

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 2: "Dad told me on the drive back to move that I should be taking my responsibility more seriously" I'm sorry WHAT responsibility?! They're your wife's kids, not the TEENAGERS. A teenager NEEDS space, they NEED their privacy. I hate when parents try to force their "new family" on their kids. You can't push that!

[@condorboss3339]

Exactly. A teenage male absolutely needs space, not to be mobbed by younger sibs. From the sounds of it, the father and his wife may be parentifying OP rather than giving the younger children the attention *they* need. It would explain why they are so fixated on OP/

[@Standinthegap4ever]

Lol, Op should teach the 1/2 sibs several of those annoying songs that people call ear worm songs… songs that never leave your brain: “This Is The Song That Never Ends” by Shari Lewis & Lambchop “99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall” “The Ants Go Marching” “Baby Shark” “Great Big Gobs Of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts” “Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer” (Our mom HATED the last two) Muahaha

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@condorboss3339Yeah, something creepy is going on. Why would the kids be so clingy…and that one kid calling him every day?

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The last story: so OP's dad and stepmom parentified him into being the caregiver or nanny or what have you for his three younger step siblings and now they're surprised that he doesn't want to be around them? Color me shocked. 🙄 They have the gall to gaslight, guilt trip and bribe him by planning a family vacation to a place that OP always wanted to go, but he stuck to his guns. Good for him. It's clear to me all they want is free babysitting so they can have a break from their children/ stepchildren. They have the nerve to say he's being nasty by referring to his step-siblings as suffocating and annoying, well if the shoe fits. The audacity they have to say that OP needs to take his responsibility more seriously because he's laying down a firm hard boundary is just absolutely disgusting. What responsibility? He's a stepsibling, not their parent. If I were him, I would go very low contact and put them on an information diet until they either accept OP’s terms and respect his boundaries or go completely no-contact, if necessary. People, like them, never learn their lesson and will keep pushing until they get a very severe reaction

[@CircusoftheMoon]

My dad did the same shit and that’s exactly what he wanted. Free entertainment for his other kids.

[@taylorslade961]

Story 1: I see everyone talking about how damaging this whole situation would be to the little girl, and that's absolutely correct. I'm not disagreeing. But no one has mentioned how having this stand in for the child that was lost absolutely will not do the wife any good. She's obviously suffering from psychosis related to the loss of her child and having OPs daughter there to essentially take that childs place will not help this poor woman.

[@maryjanedodo]

+ she presumably just found out her kid had a half-sibling they never knew because her husband never told her they existed...

[@Standinthegap4ever]

Makes me wonder if this would escalate to a child/children disappearing in the area because the adulterer’s wife needed a child--any child the same age as Op’s-- “in order to heal”. I’ve read horror stories of pre-borns being removed from the mother’s body because someone was so desperate. Op should let the police know just in case some child goes missing.

[@trashotaku]

Fr, op was right on the mark about Jeff’s wife needing serious therapy not not a stand in child

[@mezzokitty247]

This! And Jeff is talking about “giving her back” when his wife “heals”, but highly doubt that he would actually give her back unless they had another child of their own in the near future. Otherwise, in this hypothetical scenario, all that “healing” would go right out the window the second that OP’s daughter is given back to OP and the wife is left feeling like she lost “her” child again. So glad OP is planning to move, these r the kind of people who will kidnap children they feel entitled to at any given opportunity.

[@dianebraberry317]

Story 1: And what happens if the wife never “recovers” from her grief, just have Katie until she is what? 5, 9, 16 or 21? The plan is dumb and honestly completely absurd. Kudos to you OP and keep standing your ground. Make that idiot feel the pain of messing with a Mama Bear!

[@tully6648]

There's no way she can recover without having another mental breakdown, because a mentally healthy person would look back on this whole thing and say "Dear God, what did I do?"

[@trashotaku]

Not only that, but he also planned to abandon Katie again once his wife was “healed”

[@lostshadows768]

I can't imagine, if he'd got his way, this would have even helped his wife. Katie is old enough that not only are there going to be significant differences in her needs (not in diapers and going to school), but she's old enough that she might correct the wife on her name, which might lead to a bad reaction.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

I complety agree, this plan is extremely cruel not only to OP's daughter but to his wife too. Imagine that the wife somehow gets better after some weeks of having "Gabrielle" with her, she is happy to have her baby girl back and suddenly,one day, she wakes up and "Gabrielle" is gone (because she was send back to OP). Can you imagine how heartbreaking it would be for her? She'll feel like she lost her daughterl all over again.

[@Standinthegap4ever]

I wondered if the woman’s daughter was close in age to Op’s? Its disturbing enough but would be really more so if she was mourning an infant & was suddenly given a six year old as a replacement. I wonder if that man told his wife some story about adopting Op’s child? Did

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 NTA, but the adults are enormous AHs. They are ruining any potentials for these kids to all be close. As an introvert this would be soul sucking and literally painful. The kids are all old enough to learn and respect boundaries. I have some people in my life I love spending time with. In small doses, not every day.

[@bunnyslippers191]

It sounds as if the step siblings have no friends or even a good relationship with their mom and stepdad. They're starved for attention and the parents need to step up, give the kids some attention and maybe get them involved with extracurricular activities so they can get some friends to hang with instead of depending on OP for all their social needs.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

the parents put this sibling stuff in the other kids heads before they even moved in, and by the sound of how they cling to OP and hes stuck doing what they like on trips they're pawning the kids off on him with the 'but family' excuse

[@ScooterBond1970]

Yeah, I find it hard to fault the kids in this one, the parents are prolly filling their little heads with ideas to make it easier for them to fob them off onto OP.

[@LadyWolvie82]

Not only that, but my gut is telling me that the dad is also forcing OP to choose between his parents.

[@GiordanDiodato]

figures MRAs would message OP about "RiGhTs Of ThE fAtHeR" even though it's been PROVEN that the "father" (more like sperm donor) would be abusive af.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

I've heard the first story a couple of times now and it still bothers me how people are calling OP awful for keeping her child away from a person who is delulu!

[@angerydestroyer]

Some People rather have the look of a *familly* rather then actually care about the ones who are hurt

[@macylouwho1187]

What a disgusting human being that guy is to do that to his biological daughter and his poor grieving wife-who has obviously lost it if she can’t even recognize that OP’s daughter is not her deceased child. Holy hell. Yikes. His daughter is a human being, not a backup plan or pawn in his life. What an unfeeling man this is. OP shouldn’t have entertained any of his bullsh-t once he started crashing through her boundaries and throwing his weight around acting like the boss of everything. He hasn’t even earned the title of father because he’s never been there for his child! Sometimes too late is too late and that’s all there is to it. If she wants the child to have a father she might consider dating some decent men who will love her properly like she deserves. Some people have amazing chosen fathers (like me!) who know full well that it doesn’t take blood to make a family.

[@CyeOutsider]

He wants a therapy doll for his wife. Glad OP shut that sh*t down. Its tragic the other women lost her child but using anothet child to enable her delusions is wildly irresponsible.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I heard this one somewhere else. NTA. He wants the power of parenthood without the responsibility. He can pay the CS, but won't. He's an AH of the highest caliber. He needs to be in or out. Oh I just remembered the update. SPOILERS: He and his new wife lost a baby and they want OP's daughter to be there surrogate temporary child that they'll return when they're healed 🤮🤮🤮

[@carolroberts4614]

I remember! Horrifying!

[@pippo17173]

Some comments pointed out that the sperm doner was probably cheating on his wife to op years ago which makes this even worst and could explain why he is avoiding giving her help. Probably because he had to be honest to do so.

[@KittyWillCutYou]

This dude is a perfect example of some people really not needing or deserving kids.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1 update: “sorry you lost a daughter, but that doesn’t mean you get to try to change MY daughter you have no rights to into yours so your wife can grieve unhealthily. You two need MASSIVE help because it’s horrible what you both are going through but it seems like you’re trying to change my daughter you have no rights to, if you’ve forgotten, into your dead daughter. Therapy will help with her grieving, not my potty trained girl who only has 1 parent: ME”

[@traceygreet6436]

Story 2, they are just setting you up to be a free babysitter down the line.

[@Daug555]

S1: The way I hollered at “Mister” 😂! Sir, you don’t go here. Go kick rocks with shoes off. Smart of OP to not put him on birth certificate.

[@joeschmo622]

_"No worries. Just 2 more years, and I'll never have to ever ever ever see you, _*_or_*_ The Liz, _*_or_*_ The Suffocators, ever again. Kbye."_

[@mbyerly9680]

Those people in the first story are crazy. They wanted OP's little girl for a while then intended to toss her away like a Christmas puppy they are bored with.

[@M_T_Gr8]

Ugh story 2 reminds me of how my parents treated me and my sister and our relationship. As adults now we have zero relationship because of how me were pushed together regardless of my need for personal space as well. It’s sad. I feel for OP

[@piratsnygg]

Who else giggles when Mark calls us cheeky so and sos? It spikes my dopamine every time!

[@madgevanness4011]

1: if he got to go through with this substitution, she would never heal and she would never come home.

[@crowdemon_archives]

It's definitely going to become a case of human trafficking and kidnapping 🙃

[@catherinejones5723]

I'm sorry he had no rights.. he's just a stranger at this point.. a stranger gets no rights. Get a lawyer first. Then sort out the rest. You are all over the place.. you want him involved but he's messing with your daughter and yourself. He's not a father, never has been physically, emotionally or financially. He shouldn't even be at the school. It's like if I said she was my daughter! Bizarre.

[@catherinejones5723]

I just want to clarify. I absolutely think a father should be in their child's life. Have all the love and responsibilities that go with it. But he said he didn't want that. End of. If now he's changed his mind... Took a long time. He needs to do so with consent. Legally.

[@BaeBunni]

@@catherinejones5723 The problem is he has dug his own grave legally and is very unlikely to win. Years refusing to pay child support or visitations, he would also have to explain why he keeps calling his daughter after his wife's dead daughter's name, and why he thinks he should get out of future child support after the fact because he is 100% never getting full custody.

[@2Bjaded1]

Story 2: They are being dismissive of the kids being clingy because they are basically pawning the kids off on OP by baby duck syndrome. Free babysitting in the guise of 'be more responsible for your clingy sibs' which means they don't have to pay because 'family'.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The first story: so let me get this straight. He wasn't at all involved in OP's pregnancy, has had nothing to do with her daughter since she was born and now all of a sudden, shows up like a Disneyland dad and claims that he represents the family? Hell to the no. I would tell him to f*ck all the way in the direction of off. OP's daughter may share DNA with him, but he's no father.

[@MimosaRose]

Story 1- wow! Just wow! So happy this little girl has a wonderful mother and supportive Godparents.

[@shizanketsuga8696]

19:32 Pardon me, what? OP should take _his_ responsibility more seriously? OP was neither involved in the making of those children nor did he marry a mother of three. OP has no responsibility whatsoever to them that he wouldn't have to any other human. None. Zero. Zilch. At that point I wouldn't be a tiny bit surprised if OP's father and Liz had encouraged the children to cling to OP as much as they do in the first place, so that they can have some alone-time at OP's expense.

[@aphelion4616]

S2: No, that is total parentification and I bet dollars to donuts that they are being neglected and abused since they are so clingy with their sibling. They don't want to be home either I don't think.

[@mezzokitty247]

This, but the parents might also be actively encouraging their kids to be clingy to OP so that OP is pressured into being a third parent for them. Most of the time, if parents refuse to stop unhealthy behaviors in their kids, they’re purposefully encouraging it behind closed doors (ex. talking into their kids’ ears about how they should “spend time with their older sibling” at best or “ur sibling doesn’t love u if they’re not willing to spend all their time with u” at worst)

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 2: Clearly dad and Liz decided that OP was going to be the default caregiver for her three kids. They probably were already not getting much attention from mom and now she's spending all her time with her new hubby. OP should stand his ground and refuse to go on this vacation. Let Liz be a mom for once and let dad take on the responsibility he signed up for when he married her.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 1 is scary and crazy. And sad. Glad OP and her daughter are okay!

[@rickraber1249]

2nd story. I know a gal whose mother started a second family when my friend was in her early teens. The mom had 4 more kids, bing bing bing. My friend was surrounded by toddlers and they all lived in a 2 bedroom house, so the little ones were constantly getting into their big sisters clothes and jewelry. The mother's only response when my friend complained was to get mad at her teen and tell her, basically, to put up with it. My friends decided never to have kids after that. She did change her mind many years later, but no thanks to her own mother.

[@darknezfire]

We got a mini update on first story. A month ago. OP has a restraining order against Jeff and wife, OP and daughter went to a vacation, kid is in school and the school is aware of the RO (OP and lawyer are working out so OP can move) Jeff send some priest to OP office and priest try to convince OP that her daughter deserved a better family who didn't live in debauchery and hate. OP realized that the priest was sent by Jeff because the priest say that OP kid would not be happy and well raised with OP BUT that Jeff was well respected in his church and he knew he would raise a proper Christian lady. OP asked the priest to leave and to not bother her again and now are looking with the lawyer because it seems that by "sending" the priest, Jeff broke the RO

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Before he claims to "represent the family", I'd need some evidence that he even knows the definition of family, since there is none in the post. OP defending herself by explaining it was a one night stand, and thus never an emotional connection, AND he wanted the pregnancy terminated, only makes it worse. He never wanted the kid, never got involved, and shouldn't be involved now. His only role should be paying child support, and if he won't do that, he should take that up with the courts and learn what they think of deadbeats who refuse to pay. And by the way, if he's trying to replace his wife's lost daughter with OP's, he should AT LEAST be paying OP for the privilege, so that he's refusing even there shows how low he is.

[@robinronin]

Story 2: It definitely feels like the kids are being pushed into this behavior, because that’s not normal, especially for all three of them. You’d think that at least one of them would be upset about the new family dynamic and be more distant or something. Maybe they’re being bribed with toys or candy by the father and stepmother? Even then, it’s so baffling 😅

[@paulahowlett8452]

S2, they just want a built in babysitter. Op tell your sperm donor to try being a dad, those kids are his responsiblity not yours. Maybe Liz is having the kids do it to push op to go no contact with his father so her kids get everything when he dies

[@FlamesofJagger]

This story was wild when i first heard, and it's still just as wild. This guy has some brass big ones to try anything

[@carlrood4457]

The thing to keep in mind is he has NO grief for the child he lost if he thinks a "replacement" will appease his wife's grief. I speak from experience that no one who saw their child as a real person could ever think this well. He's seriously devoid of emotion.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Dad and stepmom see OP as built-in babysitter and have pawned off the step siblings so much that now they are a pain in the butt to see. Totally get the idea of them being suffocating.

[@amberholdaway1371]

Currently doing my makeup for my baby shower! Listened to your videos through my whole pregnancy, baby Lyla is due in 3 weeks!

[@debbietaylor2983]

aww congrats, wishing you both the best.

[@sapphicgeek24]

Congrats!

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

aww so exciting!! enjoy the shower!

[@MimosaRose]

Congratulations! I hope you have fun at your baby shower. Parenthood is hard, but such an awesome adventure. I pray you have a healthy third trimester, and safe birth and loving postpartum. God bless you both!

[@badkitty4922]

Congratulations on your baby! I hope you have fun. I also hope that you and Layla both have a safe/healthy birthing, and the help you'll both need while you're taking care of her, especially while she's newborn and months old. Much Love!😘💖🫂🫂

[@carlrood4457]

Sounds like dad and stepmom built up an imaginary "big brother" in these kids' minds long before he ever met them.

[@RemStone22]

As a parent, who has lost a child, I am absolutely horrified! The fact that the husband and wife thought that this would work to make her better is absolutely insane! It’s true that grief does cause people to do crazy things and even lose their minds a bit. But it’s just not OK to put the burden of your healing on a child. It doesn’t even work it’s been eight years since my son died and I am moving towards healing every day, but there’s not a day that I don’t miss him. I can’t imagine trying to have a replacement child to carry the burden of my grief. It’s a burden I don’t wish on anyone especially not a child.

[@HinataElyonToph]

The fact that the guy thinks he can just replace a child with another says a lot about him personally. Guy doesn’t even really care about his kid that died. He just doesn’t want to have to deal with his wife’s grieving/mental breakdown

[@RemStone22]

@@HinataElyonToph Yes! Although this can be a coping mechanism. People can think I won’t have to feel my grief if I find a replacement. Have another child, transfer all the attention to a living child. It’s so, so unhealthy and damaging. These people are looking to avoid their grief and it’s scary because these are the people that will have a mental breakdown. Avoiding pain causes the most damage.

[@katiecakesl4691]

Story 1: There is so much wrong with this horrifying plan. The wife is clearly having a full mental break from losing her child. She needs professional help in a monitored facility. I can't even blame her for anything cause she clearly isn't mentally well. But the 'father', and I struggle to call him that, should know better. Either the delusion doesn't fade, which is a scary thought. Or the delusion does fade, but there is no guarantee it fades in a healthy way. Honestly she would be more likely to sink into a deeper grief and potentially harm OP's daughter. She isn't safe for herself or anyone else. The most loving and kind thing anyone can do is get her committed for as long as it takes to work through this.

[@trashotaku]

Story 1: I cannot fathom the amount of trauma Jeff’s “plan” will do to Katie and I’m so glad OP is taking z as cations to prevent him or his wife from getting access to Katie

[@battlecat6766]

As someone who had an absent father growing up, had contact with him then he removed himself after a perceived slight on his end the mum must protect the child at all costs. Children of any age aren’t just things absent parents can pick up and put down. He seems like he want the title and perks without the work… that could just be me projecting tho… Oh wow- am into the update and it sounds like a weird situation- the wife needs real help, not to use someone else’s child as a sticking plaster on their grieving. Utter knobs, how fucking twisted

[@vie3429]

So I just checked Story 1 OP's profile and there are a few updates: Jeff was arrested but was bailed out, the charges weren't mentioned. He also sent a priest to OP's work place to harass her. TRO is in place against Jeff and his wife. Most importantly, OP and daughter seem to be doing fine.

[@TsukiKageTora]

I just realized: isn’t it strange af that a school, private or not, posted parent teacher stuff on their publicly accessed website? Like what happens if a creep, pretending to be someone’s daughter waltzes in just because they saw it online? (It did happen)

[@Historicly]

Story 2: Sounds like parentification.

[@adambenes3728]

Story 1, this greatly shows how money talks, immagine if OP can not afford lawyers, moving and private driver? So many people in situations like this but can't afford to fight. Scary

[@Gumbier_Than]

Forget a driver, get a bodyguard for her. 😑

[@mbyerly9680]

From the sound of it, OP lives in a country where a driver and a body guard are one and the same.

[@Gumbier_Than]

@@mbyerly9680 even better.

[@ebagentj]

Story 2: Something isn't right with this picture, and it's not on OP's part. There is something going on with those kids and perhaps the way their mother and stepfather treat them to make them so immediately and obsessively clingy to OP. Kudos to OP for refusing to be parentified, but it sounds like there might be some (or a lot of) neglect coming from the parents.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

There is no way that having the daughter with them could have helped his wife, Katy is six years old, she knows who her mother is. I doubt she'll be okay with staying with them, she'll be asking to go home or asking where OP is and that would send the wife into another meltdown, because she won't understand why her "Gabrielle" is calling another woman her "mommy" and asking to be with her. And i doubt that the daughter would have stayed with them only "for a while" if this plan somehow maneged to help the wife, she wouldn't want to give her back because she'll delude herself into thinking that Katy is her biological daughter and that OP is trying to "kidnap" her little Gabrielle and her husband cares so little about Katy and OP that he'll just keep her to make his wife happy. And if the husband did send Katy back to OP after his wife "healed", that would hurt her even more, because she'll lose her "daughter" again. I feel so bad for this woman, her husband is making eveything worse by doing this.

[@krystiharper]

Story 2: the step mom wanted a free babysitter.

[@tatalsaba]

Story 1: Jeff's a monster, absolutely nuts and seems to view Katie like she's a therapy dog. If OP ever reads this, stay strong, and fight the loony and his family.

[@merrick1588]

Story 1: may I recommend private security? perhaps some nice folks from a mercenary group or PMC?

[@girlinterupted6815]

I love listening to these while doing some arts and crafts.

[@philiprussell308]

Same, I listen to his videos while I play games on my PC

[@SewardWriter]

What crafts do you do? I crochet.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Someone told this mother, whose child was going to be used as another kid for her father’s grieving wife, that she was evil for keeping the father away from her. He was just going to USE her as a tool to “help” his wife grieve their dead child then toss her back once that was done

[@Kumo5980]

I read this before and I’m gonna say it now F this guy If he even care for his insane wife then he would’ve get her professional help Look I’m sorry for their child really I am but you are not helping if you’re enabling the problem

[@littlegreycat]

"On my Mother's suggestion i sent him photos and updates" the older I get the more i believe that you should let people choose to participate or not. And all the effort is on them, unless there's mitigating circumstances like deep poverty or disability. Because the more Ive seen what's happening with friends, family and Reddit posts with people that suddenly decide they should take charge or poison the child against the other family, the more I am of the opinion that if people aren't actively trying to be in your child's life, they deserve nothing. The child can attempt to contact them as adult if the child cares.

[@darkmask5933]

I'll point out something, Jeff's wife lost a recent pregnancy, and if you notice, she wanted to treat Katie as a replacement ... for a baby. Katie is a 6-year-old. Who wants to bet Jeff's wife would have tried to force Katie back into diapers and maybe even attempted to breastfeed her? Just an extra layer of ick.

[@juanvilas5341]

Story 1 : The irony of calling OP cruel when he wants to use his biological daughter for a while and then throw her away like trash again. 10:23

[@ianh2950]

These "YTA but not for the reason you think" comments are insufferable. This clearly is not a situation the op just let continue. r/aita is clealry just r/areyouannoyingmepersonally or r/imbetterunderpressurethanyou. I hate redditors

[@user-blob]

Disagree. She let a stranger into her daughter’s life for starters. Then, she took her to HIS place without knowing anything about his family…and look what happened 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@Empress58]

Story 1: some ppl is chastising OP for not allowing the sperm donor to be part of his daughter’s life, others are lecturing her for letting him be involved in any capacity, telling her to “be a parent”. Damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t. 😮‍💨

[@littlegreycat]

6:03 the "I can't make a scene" culture of so many countries keeps so many people down.

[@Strab0]

She’s the one who opened the can of worms. How did that guy even reach the PTA meetings.

[@Henry.25]

4:31 I was a teacher in a private school for 5 years, and I can't say for all schools, but my experience is that private school teachers are much less involved in their students' personal lives than people imagine. Rich people don't like to disclose too much information, especially about their children or home situation. So knowing who is married or separated or whether the father's name is on the birth certificate is impossible, unless the parents themselves disclose this information and why would they disclose this type of thing freely? Of course, in a situation like this the OP should have talked to the school principal, but I believe no teacher would randomly ask that.

[@messinalyle4030]

How convenient for 2nd OP's dad. He gets to fob off his parental responsibilities to his other children on OP *and* also gets to talk down to him like a child at the same time--chiding him for "his attitude" and what-not. (I think my sarcasm meter just broke because it had to rank the previous statement so high).

[@Mapache095]

Bro my jaw got more and more unhinged until it hit the floor with that man’s AUDACITY

[@rasheedabasheer4046]

Story2: Liz definitely married dad with plans of making OP the default babysitter. They have probably conditioned the kids way before they met her.

[@christinesinclair6938]

I saw Story 1 before. It's a major yikes, but luckily in OP1's country, no Child Support, no rights, and Jeff never ponied up to get rights. I hope OP1 and her child have a good life far FAR away from Jeff. S2: NTA. Also, being 15 means OP2 is old enough to speak for himself in court, so they need to back off before OP2 gets the mom to finalize the lack of contact with his sperm-donor and his new shiny family. OP2 should hold his ground and not go and ruin the destination with that family.

[@emo7636]

Story 1, I thought the self-defense class that was suggested was a really good idea. It can never be a bad thing for a young kid to know how to physically defend themselves if needed.

[@crowmisfits]

Story 2 - sounds like the parents don't pay enough attention to the siblings whether OP is there or not. That's why they are obsessed with the OP even wen the OP isn't there.

[@cameronb851]

Regarding the second story, I can never understand why parents can't see that although they might have found someone new to share their lives with, that doesn't automatically mean that their children should be happy about joining in. It's such a weird blindside of assholery behavior; "oh, I remarried, now you must love your new randomly assigned fam despite having nothing but a superficial connection to them, or there's something wrong with you!"

[@cpaul9269]

S2 - NTA. Something weird is going on, though - what are dad and Liz telling those kids? Or, what's wrong with them mentally? This is not normal. Can't force these things - shame on dad and Liz.

[@GBunnyG]

I expected infertility. I did NOT expect psychosis.

[@ZombieSazza]

Story 2: OP NTA, your step signings ARE suffocating, they are incredibly clingy, your dad doesn’t care about OP at all and refuses to maintain boundaries, like OPs step sibling are calling him several times a day, every day?! OPs dad is actively ruining the relationship and are telling OP, the child in this relationship, that he needs to “be responsible” lmao WHAT?! OPs dad ruined this to the point it’s nuked, I can’t see this being fixed due to OPs dad and his wife refusing to do anything whatsoever. I’d be campaigning the courts for less contact with the dad, I’d be making sure to do the bare minimum when visiting dads house. The vacation would be a nightmare for OP as he would be expected to care for his step siblings and wouldn’t be allowed any breathing room, whilst being emotionally manipulated into thinking he’s a horrible person for wanting to breathe, it just creates more resentment. Speak to your mum, OP, lay this all out as clear as you can and include the comments your uncles have made, and ask that she petition the court for you because you cannot be around your dad and his mentalist house.

[@billbowers9048]

Story 1: You don’t get parental rights if you don’t take care of parental responsibilities.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

10:00 - Keep her for a while and then send her back. What is the poor kid, a library book??

[@cpaul9269]

S1 - NTA 1,000 times over. Fatherhood doesn't work that way. I would not let him go to PTA meetings, either - that's weird. EDIT after Update1 - whoa. This is next-level crazy! Scary that people like this are out there.

[@Swnsasy]

Marky Mark and the Poppy Bunch!! ❤Have a great weekend Waffle Squad Leader and Co-Leader Popmeister and to all of the Squad!!

[@Khanjikai]

Private Driver is played by Jason Statham in my head. McDonald's ice cream cones every day. But in all seriousness, praying for resolution and safety for OP and child. This is awful but she's an A+ mom for being so proactive and cautious.

[@YuumiMa1n]

Best way to wind down my day! Thanks mark! Keep being awesome!

[@depuydt2011]

And another video for my commute home. Thanks Mark

[@Wh00000]

That Jeff guy is neither a good father nor a good husband. Who sees their wife grieving that badly and thinks "yeah, a replacement child should make this all better!" And what the hell was the rest of the family doing, going along with this? I'd be insanely curious to hear what the fuck they were thinking.

[@zarahfrancisco3734]

Story 1: deadbeat dad is creepy af. Glad the OP seems to be full capable of protecting herself and daughter Story 2: I suspect dad and step mom said or did something to make the kids that clingy to OP. it's such a shame. this would have had the potential for a beautiful step sibling relationship. I hope they figure out wtf is wrong with the dad and step mom so OP can take appropriate action in regards to his relationship with step family.

[@FanFicnic]

Story 2: oh look! It’s our old friend PROJECTION. Those kids are neglected that’s why they are so clingy.

[@nikkiwhray1598]

I feel bad for the wife, but this couple proved that they would be terrible parents. They had no qualms about calling a child by the wrong name and planned to discard her when she fulfilled her "usefulness." Neither of them cared about the mental and emotional damage their plan would cause an innocent kid, nor did they forsee themselves forming any real attachment to his biological child. They are far too selfish to have a kid.

[@KristenMSnyder]

I don't know that the wife would have agreed to that plan once she was no longer in psychosis; this is the husband's claim of what the plan is. The wife is in psychosis. If she's not recognizing that "Katie" is not "Gabrielle", I doubt she had any say in the original plan of substitution, never mind the plan of then dumping the kid. Unless she's the literal worst, once she's not in psychosis (which is not treated through kid substitution), she'll probably be horrified by both parts of that plan. So I suspend judgment on the wife. The husband, on the other hand, is definitely the literal worst. He knows what he's doing.

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

09:10 Ah, and THERE is the real reason Jeff came out of the woodwork to stake a claim on the daughter he previously wanted nothing to do with. His wife was struggling and then he suddenly remembered he already had a stand-in daughter and could just take her from OP and bring her into his family and they’d live happily ever after. He had probably either already promised his wife that the daughter was as good as theirs and she had some twisted claim on her already as HERS. OP needs to run from this dumpster fire and not let Jeff, and especially not his baby-hungry wife alone with her daughter.

[@chubbychan5950]

Story 2: OP is their free babysitter.

[@connierichards9121]

Oh hell no!!! These people are psycho. Take your child and run OP. Block him any and everywhere. You and you only are now and forever Mommy. The audacity of that man.

[@jojocandy2025]

Im so concerned for the first op and her daughter. I hope he is kept away from them

[@hirohiroarikawa6806]

He wants the title as parent and all it’s perks without the responsibility

[@coreymartin6486]

The more I hear about Jeff...the more Im disgusted. He literally treated his own daughter as an object for his wife's insanity.

[@charliedelfino2102]

My dad always complained about how much he spent on Child Support for me and that's why he couldn't get me birthday presents or see me often... He paid £100/month for 10 years. Don't let them be involved unless they show that the daughter is top priority.

[@des1279]

Story 1, she shouldn’t do this half ass father thing, either he’s in or not. It sounds like they never set actual boundaries or if they did she’s letting him shit all over it. She shouldn’t even let him in her child’s life tbh. He had the choice for years and chose not to. And he’s clearly an idiot so better off not.

[@des1279]

Jfc that guy is crazy. I mean I think he might be grieving in a weird way maybe…but gd that whole family needs help (not OP, the fathers side and his wife)

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 2: My solution; Hello CPS?