My Partner THREW AWAY My Grandma's Secret Recipe And Her Reason Is Bizarre r/Relationships

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: Instead of asking OP on tips on how to improve her own skills and possibly strengthening their bond by cooking together, she decides to go nuclear and intentionally & unjustifiably hurt OP because she’s jealous and insecure. That is not love. Who knows the kind of pain she’s capable of causing since she’s willing to hurt people who don’t deserve it. Words of Advice for everyone: *"Anyone in a relationship who tries to hurt spouses or lovers intentionally don't deserve to be in a relationship cause that's just wrong and cruel."*

[@kelleynymph]

This is what I was thinking. PREACH.

[@janet6421]

I could understand stealing the book and trying some of the recipes but not throwing part of it out.

[@joshJC99]

I think we need to reassess her use of jealous and insecure. Sounds more like she’s just immature period, I mean even the way she tried to downplay what she did was just childish.

[@fabianbiere5653]

​@@joshJC99this was clearly jealousy/inferiority related tho

[@83gemm]

She doesn’t want to learn from OP. She wants to just be better herself. That way OP will never leave her. If OP is better than she is in any way, it might mean that OP will leave her. It’s not about the cooking. Could be anything. It’s just raw insecurity.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

Classic abuser behavior. Starting with a small incident to test their victim’s boundaries, and if the victim lets it slide then there are going to be more incidents with escalating consequences. OP didn’t say if he was breaking up with her over this, but if he doesn’t he should expect to eventually find the entire recipe book either torn to pieces or tossed into a bonfire.

[@n.g.l.]

Yikes. If this is true, he’s dealing with a predator who will not go away quietly. She’ll feed her narcissistic supply one way or another with or without him being present.

[@BraveryWing26]

@@n.g.l. He dumped her it seems. So that's a happy ending.

[@SCP01986]

This is why you should never 'let things slide'

[@n.g.l.]

@@BraveryWing26 if you’ve dealt with narcs you’d know exactly what I mean. If she’s really a narc she’ll start the smear campaign soon to regain some form of control.

[@n.g.l.]

@@SCP01986 yup and be wise and see it as a sign of bad character and move on.

[@AuskaDezjArdamaath]

She didn’t just rob OP of the heirloom recipe but the entire family and future generations. What a spiteful woman 😠

[@Russman67]

Story 2: He made the decision to divorce OP. And he rolls back in years later after she gets her life moving forward to tell her to come back? Seriously? Time is up.

[@ComaLies225]

Yea it’s the audacity from the ex for me

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Don't recycle folks.

[@stevekerrigan6546]

The ex is a idiot for even trying after all he done but OP isnt smart with what he was asking he might try plan stuff to break them up and OP isnt blocking them that wont end well but i hope it works out

[@teneluxio]

Based off OPs descriptions of their marriage and her current relationship, I would say she’s still in love her ex too. Especially after saying things would’ve been different if she was single.

[@Russman67]

@@teneluxio you can be in love and recognize that the situation is toxic.

[@selinesbeau]

That woman is not ready to be in a relationship. Story 2: Dude thought the grass was greener on the other side. Tore OP's life to shreds. (no money and stuff doesn't make up for that) Discovered it wasn't and now wants back? Gross.

[@UnwiseOwl1453]

💯 dude had a midlife crisis at 30 and snapped out of it thinking he could slip back in like all would be like it was 😑

[@LovesGaming37]

He probably slept around but no woman wanted an aged man

[@heatheraucoin5832]

@@UnwiseOwl1453it was more like a quarter life crisis. SRSLY it’s when someone around the age of 25 start to second guess their decision in life. Age 30 is 1/3 life crisis and then 40-50 is mid life. After 50 just do whatever

[@ndawn90]

​​@@heatheraucoin5832Technically, the average lifespan is around mid-70s, so mid-30s is actually middle-aged for the average person.

[@heymikey4025]

Dude found out that the grass is greener over the septic tank (Erma Bombeck quote)

[@dm9078]

The end of story 2 left me with an uneasy feeling. I agree with Mark, the ex needs to be blocked and the bf needs to be on alert because I don’t think this is over.

[@chinaking918]

It’s not before you know it he’s going to be popping up at places he know she like acting like “oh you’re here I didn’t expect to see you here”. Sending random I can’t get over you text in the middle of the night or when’s he drunk and in his feelings, he might even try to get his mom to convince her to be alone with him. I wouldn’t even put it past him to start “anonymously” sending text to the Bf about her “cheating” on him to cause a rife with them. She definitely need to block him and continue the NC she been had with him.

[@hothotheat3000]

Story 2: the grass wasn’t greener and he’s doing a crawl-back to his last resort. HELL NO. He made his choice. “I wish you the best, but I don’t regret the divorce. If I meant so little to you that your friends being in your ear was enough for you to destroy our marriage, break your vows, and break my heart, then I am better off without you. I will be blocking all contact with you moving forward, and I suggest that you go and find the lifestyle that your friends encouraged you to find. Goodbye.”

[@kanelovec4315]

The ex is crazy. The only reason he came back was because op was finally moving on with a relationship. He doesn't want her to leave him, he wants her to be there waiting for him when he done "looking," and maybe at worse use the care he did in the past to make her care for him in later years as a guilt trip. He was allowed to date, travel, and live the single lifestyle but he won't let op. The sad thing op probably does still love her ex and will go back to him if present partner leaves. She should have cut contact completely with the ex, his family, and shared friends. Because ex looks like he going to get a group together to either get the bf to leave op, or have op leave the bf.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - OP really should have been firm that even if she broke up with her ex they would not be getting back together, even if for whatever reason they did break up and she reconsidered later. He could easily decide to try manipulating her boyfriend into thinking she’s cheating in order to break them up. I don’t like that he “perked” up when she said she didn’t want to go down that road of thinking.

[@Because-rt8qs]

She shouldn't have even met with ex because ex is just looking for any "sign" that there's the slightest chance of getting back together, and will see everything as a sign.

[@ohnooffwego]

She pretty clearly isn't over the ex and wants the possibility of a reunion to remain open. I feel really bad for her boyfriend.

[@walle5667]

​@@ohnooffwegoJep. And once she will get back with her ex-husband she will realize that the old relationship is no more and will never be again. But some people only learn the hard way 🤷‍♀️

[@LoveK1]

@@walle5667yeah, once he severed their bond he killed all possibility of it being like it was before. They went through too much and time has passed.

[@robertx8020]

@@Because-rt8qs or you are just reflecting ..everything is possible

[@nerd1949]

Story 1: It's a character flaw. We all feel jealous sometimes. We don't do something nasty to the person that we are jealous of. This woman is not a nice person.

[@nataliereeves3594]

Story 2: Tell him never to contact you again and block him. He needs the same harsh reality check he gave you.

[@KittiesofEvil]

Story 2. He's trying this now because she's seeing someone. He even admitted it. If they get back together, it won't be long before he gets bored again. I think half the reason she thinks so positively about ex is because he was her first.

[@hmspretender]

Story 2: OP doesn't have to block ex-MIL, but she sure as hell needs to block the ex. He IS going to be stalking her socials, possibly getting increasingly jealous/hopeful, which will culminate in him doing something, positive or negative, neither of which would be helpful/healthy for OP.

[@floraposteschild4184]

"Even the score." That's a nice attitude for a life partner.

[@LessaCaira]

Story 2: Why now and not when she was single? Because she isn't single. This guy seems determined to tear her life apart again and again. I will bet every dollar that IF they get back together he'll want another divorce in a few years. As soon as she's settled and happy again.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

It’s 100% because she isn’t single AND I guarantee his friends are settling down making him one of the lone single men in the group.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Story 2: Kind of sounds like he just didn’t want her to be happy when he couldn’t be.

[@chinaking918]

Thats what I was thinking. He was okay doing him while she was single because in his mind she was still in his reserve waiting for him to come back. Now that’s she moving forward with her boyfriend now it’s like uh oh I’m losing my fall back woman let me do something. He doesn’t want her he just doesn’t like the fact she found the happiness he thought he would find with somebody else. Like the saying goes “The grass might look greener on the other side but really the grass is greener where it’s watered.”

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

@@chinaking918 Ohhh I’ve never heard that last quote before! Perfect summation

[@TheApatheticPanda]

Story 2: "Your back up plan is moving on." OP's ex whooshing off to try and get her back after dropping her to go do whatever dumb shit he thought he was missing out on.

[@MisterNightfish]

So she was feeling jealous and insecure of... his dead grandma? What? And then she tried to gaslight him. What the heck is wrong with people nowadays? And at 36 years old? That type of shit wasn't cute when you were 16 and it sure as heck isn't cute 20 years later. Oh yea, I'm all for her working on herself but she can do that while she's single.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Agreed. You think it's bad for someone in their 30s to behave this way? I knew someone in her forties who got progressively worse as she got older. I cut contact with her when she was in her fifties and she was still behaving like an overgrown middle school mean girl who never mentally or emotionally matured past the age of 11. She very much behaved the way OP's hopefully soon-to-be ex-girlfriend behaved in this story. She employed every tactic you could think of: deflection, gaslighting, trauma bonding, love bombing, use of flying monkeys, you name it. Her biggest one was triangulation and smear campaigns whenever anyone caught on to her toxic behavior and called her out. I cut contact with her a decade ago but I have a mutual friend, who I was able to wake up to what a toxic parasitic waste of space she is (he also went no-contact) and he told me that she, unsurprisingly, only got worse with age. Now in her sixties, just as I predicted, her kids grew up, moved out, cut contact and she's been barred from seeing her grandchildren. He told me that all she does is post all over social media playing the victim and looking for sympathy about why no one loves her and wondering “what went wrong” with her life. It's called she's a toxic narcissistic witch with a capital B who uses everyone like they're a resource and once that resource is gone, she chucks them aside.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

It's scary how many people over 35 have the maturity of spiteful teenagers.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

@@anthonygilmour6236 It is. My stepmom was like that. She claimed she was all about honor, respect and was one of those “deeply religious” types. She was so religious that she totally ignored 90% of the Ten Commandments, including the one that forbids adultery. After all that's how she got my father. That frigid witch also claimed that she was some hot little number and that's why everyone was jealous of her. The only time that awful woman was ever hot was when she was cremated.

[@WildArmACF]

36 going on 13. What a brat

[@alicewilloughby4318]

MisterNightfish, sadly, there's nothing wrong with people nowadays that hasn't been wrong for thousands (million?) of years. There have always been people who will act spitefully out of some ridiculous, petty jealousy.

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 2: Wouldn't be surprised if the ex-husband shows up again later down the road to try and break up OP and her boyfriend. "He asked what could happen if we ever broke up and I said that wasn’t really a healthy road to go down. But I swear that made him perk up a little." Both OP and the boyfriend need to be cautious of the ex after his reaction to OP's statement.

[@godzillakungfu]

Story 2. How is she that naive? It did make a point she doesn’t see. It’s not weird he had hope, she basically gave it to him twice. If she was single she might explore it. If she broke up with her boyfriend she might explore it. If we were dating there would be a serious talk once my emotions settled. I’d have a foot out the door, if she really told her boyfriend the truth. The fact she said her boyfriend wasn’t happy says it all for me.

[@dagnytheartist]

I agree! I hope her boyfriend dumps her. He deserves better.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

IMO, she’s naive bc through out the time ex and her were apart he had NOT contact her to try and get back together. Plus after the divorce, he wanted to stay friends, that’s the classic, “If things don’t go my way, I’m going to need a back up” move. He’s selfish, he sees OP has moved on, yet he pulls this crap. It’s disrespectful to try and attempt to get someone when they are taken. And the “What If?” game is not good for either bc we are living in the present so no need to rip things apart. He had and took his chance to explore life after divorce, he gambled and lost. For 5 years, she was hurt, she healed, and moved on. She still has love for him, that doesn’t go away even you break up, it’s just compartmentalized in a different place in the mind and heart. All he’s doing is making her think of him 1% which is small but enough to park inside her thoughts. She needs to cut him out completely bc just being nice makes him think he has a chance. Remember it only takes a spark to start a fire.

[@chinaking918]

@@heatheraucoin5832this. All of this. My same thoughts. 🎯

[@sandeesandwich2180]

Story 1: I feel like 10% of Reddit stories involve some jerk destroying another's stuff (pictures, letters, dolls). Story 2: Ex said he had regrets years ago, but did not talk to her then. He waited until he heard she was in a serious relationship. I am not buying it. My guess is that he's had this fantasy that she is always waiting in the wings for him. He's not as good of a guy as she thinks.

[@Olivia-hx5co]

S2 completely agree with u Mark... To me, the way she answered her ex is stringing him along and if I was the bf I'd just drop the relationship because it really comes off like she's stuck on ex. She won't block him because he's a good person but a good person would respect the relationship you're in and never speak on their feelings for you. 🤨😒

[@D-M-K-1-2]

Story 1: ...Imagine being jealous over a dead person's recipe.. To "Even the score"? She doesn't see OP as a partner, she sees him as some opponent.

[@pippo17173]

I'm sorry but why would she be threaten by this when if I was a partner to someone who is a better cook I be like *Ya i scored a 5 star chef hear.*

[@crowdemon_archives]

Even bitter rivals don't do shite like this

[@lorifiedler13]

OP needs to scan those recipes and store them in at least 2 separate external locations. The cloud, and a SD card hidden or kept off site. Then each individual dish can be under "grandma's cookbook" (or a fake)

[@amyyaku5022]

It's like that story of the OP who broke his wife's late husband's ring or the OP who burned her husband's late wife's belongings. Different stories, but similar problems. Instead of telling OP of her insecurities or asking OP for cooking lessons, she chose to throw away the recipe, lie, and then minimize OP's feelings. And like those OPs, she doesn't deserve to be forgiven.

[@thejadewizard6178]

Don't forget about the one where OP burned his GF's comfort blanket, and the one where the wife destroyed all the letters from his dead former wife so his kids can never read them. This is about disrespect, it does not matter how ridiculous you think having an object is, if your partner loves it you have no right to destroy it. Unless it's harmful, but even if it is sneaking around to destroy it will only make things worse. This is a serious betrayal and a red flag for controlling behavior.

[@pippo17173]

@@thejadewizard6178 Really the major warning that the person in question never grew out of their toddler days.

[@danganryanne9499]

@@thejadewizard6178Or the story where OP’s gf tried to get rid of his Raggedy Andy doll that was made by his deceased father because she didn’t like it

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: *"He asked what could happen if we ever broke up and I said that wasn’t really a healthy road to go down. But I swear that made him perk up a little."* If I was OP's BF I would be looking over my shoulder after this comment from OP's Ex. This whole thing isn't over,not yet.

[@MisterNightfish]

If I was OP's BF I'd probably see the writing on the wall and just cut my losses. She's very clearly not over her ex and the fact that she feels the need to keep that door open despite the fact that the ex is trying to break up her current relationship just tells you everything you need to know. If she was serious about her new relationship she would have just flat out said "no" instead of "this isnt healthy".

[@ohnooffwego]

@@MisterNightfish Yup. I'd be out. I'd be annoyed by the fact that she even entertained this whole farce from the beginning, but her equivocating in their final conversation and the fact that she won't just block him and move on would be reason enough to just leave. It won't end well.

[@A.S.R]

Yes. These are all red flags. Wanting to kiss him, keeping him unblocked, calling her current relationship quiet life and not a fairytale ending. Geez, the new boyfriend should leave

[@hothotheat3000]

YUP. She’s going to end up fucking her ex. She KNOWS he wants her, and she’s not slamming the door on all contact? She’s not alarmed by his disrespect of her current relationship? Ex doesn’t love her, he’s just freaked out that she’s moving on and is no longer an option for him. That’s the ONLY REASON HE MADE THIS DECLARATION TO BEGIN WITH!!!

[@kateemma22]

BF needs to run for his life.

[@Russman67]

How tone deaf do you have to be to go through and get rid of a recipe in OP's Grandmother's cookbook. Even if she thought it was wrong, IT'S NOT YOUR BOOK! After the update, jealousy? Seriously? She wouldn't have to worry about the insecurity anymore. She'd be out. And scan the rest of that book. Now!

[@TheArnaa]

Story 1: OP needs to pack up the recipe book and everything else important to him and stash them safely somewhere out of the house where she can’t ever find them before he breaks up with her.

[@pambarab5506]

Jealousy/envy are basic human traits, but when she threw away that recipe she became vindictive which is a choice to act badly. We all get jealous but most of us don't try to destroy something that belongs to the other person. What is she going to do next time she gets jealous?

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 1- wow! Imagine what else she could do to, “ even the score “?!? Huge red flag! Story 2- op needs to cut all contact. Some decisions can’t be undone. He needs to live with the consequences of his actions.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Nor should you forgive her. Forgiveness must be earned and there's nothing she can do to earn it not after throwing out something is irreplaceable as your grandmother's recipe

[@bethanybelyeu6012]

Hey, hey. Forgiveness is a commandment in the Bible, however, you are never told to forget. Forgive her, then break up and go look for someone more stable.

[@catsncrows]

S2 "his friends got in his ear" I swear is making bad relationship decisions a male bonding thing? "get a paternity test" " she's a gold digger" I keep hearing about this over and over😶

[@LoveK1]

It seems like men enjoy “turning out” their nice,committed friends. If he has his life together and they don’t they almost always try to get him to ruin his life too.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

@@LoveK1 Misery loves company!

[@loraleiffxi]

My (now) ex husband threw away my grandma's iron skillets because they had some rust on them. She passed away when I was 8 and they were all I had of hers. I sobbed for a long time. He went to the dump to try and find them, but yeah, that was impossible. He felt soooo bad for that, and I lost a piece of my family.

[@annechoyrocks]

Glad you tossed him too.

[@TheBlueDsc]

Story 1: There are many of my mom's recipes that I'll never get to have again, because her recipe box was lost over the years after she passed away. If I was dating someone who was such a terrible person that they would actually purposefully destroy something so special like that, well, let's just say I would end the relationship and completely torch that bridge. I wouldn't want a person willing to do that sort of thing in my life at all. Story 2: Yeah nah. After being tossed aside like that, I would never be able to trust that person again. That thought would always be lingering in the back of my mind of when will they leave again? It would just slowly fester into resentment and an unhealthy relationship

[@juliearmfield2634]

Some people just don't understand how important and sentimental those old Family Recipes can be to someone

[@lindah3803]

I lost all my Mom's,Grandma's,Great Grandma's recipe's between a house fire and a tornado. The recipe that had the most impact of losing was for German Chocolate Cake. If my partner threw that recipe away. I would F their world.

[@ElleD308]

​@@juliearmfield2634she understood 100% why do you think she destroyed it? She's insane and OP needs to leave her NOW. It's stupid how people stay with partners that miserable and petty

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@ElleD308 well that's true I just have a hard time understanding the mindset of someone so petty that they would destroy something so personal and sentimental.

[@ReformingRegent]

Story 2: I don’t think OP is ready to be in any relationship right now. She seriously needs to work on herself and it doesn’t sound like she knows what to do if she’s alone. People are too afraid of being alone, so they, more or less, jump into a relationship asap. The bf is reasonable, but based on the update, he might be decide that this is too much for him, (especially if the ex decides to sabotage their relationship), then op might go back to her ex. Op needs to be firm with her ex and cut him off completely and potentially his mom to completely be free of him. Finally, she really needs to get herself some therapy because her mindset is a bit concerning.

[@thehawkseye3412]

She needs to block the ex. He has been having his fun but keeping a tab on her. The moment he learned she might be moving on and starting new relationship, he showed up to disturb it. He wants to keep her as a back up where he could return to if he wants.

[@CurliFox]

I have bad feelings about the Second Story. Op refuses to cut off her ex, and admits she would take him back if she was single. Her "angelic" ex MIL is actively sabatoging OPs new relationship. She's not even smart enough to realize she was getting cheated on when he suggested an open relationship.smh

[@patty-pat-pat]

S1: she's not right in the head. It's a recipe this time, next time it will be something life changing and major. S2: the ex is like a dog; doesnt want to play with the toy untill someone else does.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Store number one: One line that jumped out is very telling: “I'm not sure why she would want to take revenge on me.” It says everything that needs to be said about this relationship. It's a toxic, abusive relationship and I think he needs to leave. Anyone who would maliciously hurt their partner, whether it's a significant other, fiance or spouse, just because they can and then dismiss the hurt they cause is not a good person. Clearly, OP's girlfriend has severe boundary issues, doesn't respect other people's property and has nothing resembling a sense of accountability. Her callousness and flippant response to the pain she caused by destroying something that is irreplaceable, tells me everything I need to know about her. This was an outright culpable act and I don't think there's any coming back from it. It always starts with something small. The abusive party pushes boundaries, if the person being abused or tested, let's it slide or has a passive response, that tells the abuser that they can keep pushing boundaries until it escalates and becomes hostile, if not, totally violent or life-threatening. EDIT: So she did it out of jealousy because he's a better cook than her. Wow. Retaliating against someone out of sheer envy is bullying behavior. This is middle school level bullying. One would think adults wouldn't behave this way, but it's quite common when someone covets a talent or a resource that another person has but they are unwilling or not as talented to achieve that skill. I went through something similar myself. I'm a writer. I met an aspiring writer who thought she was hot stuff. She never ever tried to really improve her skills but took great glee in tearing other people down who were better or more experienced than her. Without making this comment even longer than it already is, she trash-talked my writing then turned around and tried to steal one of my copyrighted stories from me. Ironic, considering she thought it sucked so bad before but thought it was good enough to steal and claim it as her own. For those who don't know plagiarism, theft of intellectual property and copyright infringement are serious crimes. Not stopping there, she slandered, libeled and defamed me to anyone who would listen, because I think she always knew she was going to get caught but wanted to make sure I was discredited before the whistle was blown. Her malicious, devious actions did not work and she's now an unemployable pariah. For obvious reasons, she and I are no longer friends. I cut contact with her a decade ago. I think OP needs to follow suit and end this relationship. It will only go downhill from here.

[@carlrood4457]

The truth is she can't trust him not to bail again. They've been on minimal contact for years, so she has no basis to judge any possibile change. She's with someone she's happy with.

[@jameslyons6655]

Story one. That’s a hard one to move past. She purposefully and with forethought threw away a family recipe in a bid to sabotage OP because she was jealous of his cooking skills and felt he was getting attention that she wanted for herself. Then she lied about it and tried to gaslight him. I don’t know how you trust somebody after that.

[@GabrielBadwolf]

It’s the amount of generations those recipes can go back too. I’ve got hand written recipes that belonged to my great aunt Angus that my grandma gave me when I was learning to bake (she was grandma’s sister and was like an extra grandparent to me) and still have them. Grandma told me some of those recipes were things her own grandma made. That’s going back 5 generations. That can’t be replaced.

[@user-kl8lo6rj5i]

Make copies and spread them around so they aren't lost. Family recipes are family treasures!

[@yamiarisu49]

Story 1: I'm not even finished with story, but OP needs to dump is gf. Throwing out your op family items is a red flag. There about three stories about this and all reek insecurity.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

my ex-boyfriend this did to me: made a whole thing about how we needed to break up and then he came back as soon as I started dating someone else. what ensued was a clusterfuck

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 2: the problem is, he’s already shown a willingness to leave without a discussion or compromise when it suits him. He’s already dropped her once, he could do it again just as easily.

[@robinronin]

Story 1: Obviously unforgivable to throw away a family heirloom. Leaving her is the right choice. Story 2: The only reason he wants her back, is because she’s supposed to be his pathetic weeping object that he put on a shelf and could get back at any time. Now someone else desires her and wants to be with her, and he can’t fathom her moving on. He wanted to fck around, so he can keep doing that far away from OP 😂

[@jonnaughton]

The fact OP is wondering if this is revenge for an argument they had in the past shows that there is something seriously wrong with the relationship that goes far beyond a recipe book.

[@carolsh1983]

Hope everyone is staying warm! We’re in the cold storm here but staying safe.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I hope it wont get too terrible 🤗🤗💜💜

[@crohnswarrior1527]

-32° C here, trying to stay warm.

[@paden1865able]

Yeah, same here, Iowa got a nice dumping of the white stuff. Don't get me wrong, we've been in drought conditions across eighty counties, but I'm sick of falling every time I go outside. Take care and stay warm, hon!

[@carolsh1983]

@@paden1865able stay safe!

[@carolsh1983]

@@crohnswarrior1527 It isn’t quite that cold here, but I am used to much less humidity. I hope everyone stays safe and warm.

[@seffie]

This is why I have photocopies of recipes from family members to keep in public domain and keep the originals in a safe place

[@kateworkman921]

Story 1 - At least she just ripped out a single page and only one recipe is lost. She didn't throw out the entire book. *That in no way excuses what she did and he should absolutely dump her selfish, stupid ass.* Story 2 - Girl, you need to put some boundaries in place if you're going to continue talking to your ex-MIL. No more news about you gets passed to your ex, period. And seriously, it sounds like he just didn't want to see her moving on with her life. An ex did the same thing to me. Granted, he was an abusive asshole, but I'd constantly be getting lines of, "Oh, you'll leave me for someone your own age soon enough," (yes, there was an almost fifteen year age gap,) "we're from two different worlds," "in five years, you'll have forgotten all about me," and the like. Yet, after he'd broken up with me for the millionth time, and I finally decided to just let things fizzle, I got interested in another guy (way too soon.) As soon as age-gap guy found out about the new guy, suddenly, he wanted to spend a bunch of time with me, and "he was just about to say he and I should look at wedding venues," and all this stuff. Yeah, he just didn't want to see me with someone else.

[@Matagu1]

1. Only accept the apology by returning the recipy by contacting his family so she can "Prove herself". 2. Redo the whole book she destroyed by ripping out the page. 3. Break up after you got everything.

[@recycledapathy7411]

That second story in the update when the ex asked OP if things would be different if OP was single, OP missed a golden snark opportunity by not saying, "Yeah, it'd be different, you wouldn't be showing up at my door since you're only interested now that I'm in love with someone else."

[@shells500tutubo]

Bingo!!

[@user-blob]

Well said!

[@brendacarter4968]

Story 2. Agree with your final take. 'Trouble abrewin there' vibes.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do i reach her?

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

[@tully6648]

Story 2: The longer I think about it, the more I don't like the ex. It really feels like the reason he was triggered when he learned OP found someone was because he thought she'd always be there. She had been devastated through the process, he left looking like a real "good guy," and she didn't move on quickly. So he got it into his head that if things didn't pan out, he could return and she'd be thrilled to bits. Him asking her if she would be receptive if she was single really seals that for me. That was him basically asking "So you were still hung up on me, yeah?" I think OP needs to let go of him entirely. For her sake, mostly. Her and her BF are handling things well, I think, but I believe a total separation would be the best way for both OP and her ex to really, truly move on.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

No no no you dont touch a sentimental cookbook and not feel bad, how does she not feel bad

[@D-M-K-1-2]

If I had to guess, she's probably not even human. Probably a demon /s

[@megnotmegan1966]

Because, Miss Broken, one needs to have empathy and an actual heart to have feelings. Methinks she has neither of these.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@megnotmegan1966 maybe, and genuinely curious on why you're calling me miss, I just think it's a bit funny. I'm not mad at it just no one uses it for me lol. Also I'm nonbinary so when I use formalities I use Mx. I hope you can understand 💜

[@carolroberts4614]

Hi Broken! I think she must have a heart of stone!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@carolroberts4614 heyo Carol I hope that you're well 🤗🤗💜💜

[@Mimino55-y5k]

S1: That was a real shame. Hopefully OP remembered some of the recipes. S2: Dude was an idiot giving up so much in his divorce. Just another sign of his delusion.

[@keepdancingmaria]

"Would you come back to me if you were single" OP's foolish reply: Yes. Proper reply: Of course not. When you left you showed me that I didn't love you, I only loved the person I thought you were. The real person left me. Why would I want to be with someone I don't love, that I never loved?

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Story number two: The 80's song by Cinderella “You Don't Know What You Got Til It's Gone” comes to mind. Her ex left her trying to find something better, couldn't find it and now he wants her back. Oh well. He shouldn't have been chasing his straw woman

[@hmspretender]

Story 1: my money was, and kind of all is, that she's lying, and might still be lying. I think a plausible reason is that a family member or friend of hers loved the cake and asked for the recipe. She still may have been jealous and giving away that recipe could have killed 2 birds with 1 stone.

[@lindtplease1693]

I would not trust a supposed partner who had deliberately set out to hurt me. Gross.

[@madambutterfly1997]

She has no right to be jealous nor insecure.

[@tserln1149]

everyone has a right to feel whatever they feel but not act on the malicious impulses

[@charlieoscar2339]

Throwing out a recipe? That ends the relationship. My mother gave me her own hand written recipes. I immediately took them out of the cook book and put them in page protectors. Then I took pictures of all the recipes. Throw out anything out of that book? You will be outside looking in. I don’t think I could forgive that.

[@GrifoStelle]

Wish op had checked the trash immediately. I'd bet he'd mentiond making the cake and she destroyed it the day he couldn't find it. If he'd dug to the bottom of the can I'd bet even money that it was there burried in the bottom.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Okay, 60 year old man here: Throwing away grandma's recipe? Oh. Hell. No. I learned how to make sweet potato pie from my grandmother, writing down what she said. It's not just a recipe, it's a time capsule of emotions, occasions, and so much more. I make it for my mom when I'm home for the holidays and she says it's better than any store bought gift. Put your petty, insecure fingers on that recipe? Draw back nubs.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Story 1: RUN! He’s only back because the Grass Was Not Greener. You are the Consolation Prize.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

S2: “Really good people” and “angels” don’t nuke your life once and then come back for a second round when you’re moving on.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

I can tell you from personal experience, going back never works.

[@harleynovak3297]

Last story, I was there with you, Mark. As soon as he perked up, I thought Oh no. He's going to try to ruin her relationship. 🤦‍♀️ He only wants her back bc she's moving in with her bf & he knows she's fully over him. Douchebags always go after what they can't have. That's my brain talking from having a horrible ex husband.

[@wildblue0]

Story 2: I’d be very suspicious that Ex just doesn’t want her to be happy since he isn’t.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. I lost everything in a forest fire 5 years ago. Including old recipes that had been passed down for generations. Thankfully I still have my mom and she replaced them. It's devastating to lose something so very precious. I'd dump the wench. 2. That guy had a lot of nerve if you ask me.

[@mgen278]

Story 2: (First, 2 shoutouts to Marc: love that song by Passenger & the term”Reddit-brain”😅) OP is his ‘back-up/sure thing’ & now that she’s moving on, he can’t allow that. He’ll dump her as soon as his other friends get in his ear again once they’re divorced….happens in the early to mid thirties, then the 2nd marriage comes around in the late thirties/early forties & that’s usually the winner, so-to-speak. This is, of course a generalisation because I am old, it does not apply to everyone❤

[@spikeoramathon]

This first story hit me hard. My mother had whatever is the opposite of hoarding, and even though we begged her not to, when she stopped baking, she threw out ALL of her baking recipes, and, shortly before she passed away, the rest of her recipe box. I would give anything to have that box of stained, torn, creased index cards, and I don't even cook. OP should NOT get over this; no matter how much the "partner" says she's going to change, anyone who's capable of throwing out a treasured family recipe to "even the score" is capable of anything. She's the type that will be forcing her children to throw away their stuffed animals because they love them too much.

[@grambolazyguy]

Story 1: Any time I hear a story that doesn't really have a conclusion like this one, we don't know if they broke up or any consequences, I end it with my own head canon of "Guess OP died." I find it helps fight off the upset feeling that Cliffhanger-kun leaves me with.

[@Tokachitheartist]

Grandmother's soul will not have mercy on That partner

[@sst1911]

Story 2: wow, you're gullible. No one asks for an open relationship unless they already have someone they're cheating with. Keeping a relationship with his mom allowed him, a manipulator, to keep track of you, and once you moved on and were happy, he suddenly comes back to "beg to get back together." He doesn’t want you, he wants to control you.

[@LoveK1]

I thought that was so dumb to keep her ex”s mom up to date on her life. She’s delusional if she thinks his mom wouldn’t be telling her son all her business.

[@mikeremski2102]

"It was just an old notebooks, just because it said Grandmas Family Recipes on it doesn't mean it's worth keeping".

[@Kingdo_RGT]

story 2 : feel that ex-husband come back just now that OP has a serious relationship because he see her as a back up plan

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 1: does anyone else remember that story about the OP whose BF had destroyed the candle her sister had made and given to her shortly before she passed and it turned out the BF was only attracted to her while she was emotionally broken and wanted her emotionally distraught again?

[@kateworkman921]

Yes, omg! Because he wanted to be some twisted version of a "hero."

[@averycheesypotato]

First story: the fact that OP automatically went to “we haven’t argued in weeks, so what would she want revenge over?” is telling. That’s a crappy relationship, OP can do better. Lots of women would love to have such a good cook for a man!

[@matthewhuszarik4173]

If a partner ever does anything to intentionally hurt you that is the ultimate Red Flag. Run, don’t walk away.

[@wintertimber1749]

22:01 I’m loving that expression on your character 😂 It’s just an accurate mood

[@keepdancingmaria]

"She's never done anything like this before." Oh, I think she HAS, and now it is escalating.

[@Mglay556]

Story 1: I hope Op realizes that a partner wanting to exact revenge is not normal.

[@mora118]

Anyone else hung over and struggling? Mark is a god send for helping me survive this.

[@rhonafenwick5643]

Story 1: In my kitchen I have two Turkish soup recipes framed on the wall. One's for a noodle soup, and one for a lentil soup. Both are quite simple dishes, but both were written down for me by a treasured old friend who was a superb chef and died recently from complications of depression. If *anyone* stole or trashed those recipes - partner, sibling, friend, colleague - I'd incinerate the entire goddamn relationship. I feel so sorry for OP, and hope they can at least take a tiny bit of consolation in the other recipes from their gran that were spared. 💔

[@krazycats564]

Take a photo or scan of every recipe in that book. You could lose it one day. It's best to have a backup

[@MEWMEWDENSETSU]

Story 2: This relationship reminds me of when a child loses interest in a toy. Then discards the toy, and when someone else takes interest and starts playing with the toy the previous child gets jealous and then wants it back out of nowhere.

[@ettinakitten5047]

Story 1: Her reaction when he got upset makes it clear that she did *not* do it accidentally.

[@pigeon1923]

Something is telling me she's getting rid of the recipes slowly one by one and didn't expect OP to realise so quickly and came up with that pathetic lie.

[@AraAra6367]

The usual response to feelings of jealousy is to keep them to yourself bc you’re aware of how irrational they are. You take time to work through them and accept that they don’t define you from a sense of guilt. She took action instead. I hope OP dumped her. There’s no “working through” it with someone who could be as petty as trying to “even the field”.

[@carlrood4457]

OP should look into getting the pages scanned. The original book won't last forever and will be safer if kept more as an heirloom. Use the scans for cooking.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Story 1: Ditch her! Story 2: Block him!

[@alsinakiria]

This is why my family doesn't do secret recipes. Too easy for them to get lost. Anyone who wants it can have it.

[@goatkiller666]

I had a cat. Got him as a kitten, and he lived with me until he was too sick to live in comfort. Towards the end, he didn’t move much, and there was a soft blanket he spent most of hitting time. On. It wasn’t a special blanket, but he liked it. When it was time to put him down, I wrapped him in the blanket and held him, while my wife drove us to the vet. That blanket smelled like him. I have a weird relationship with my sense of smell. I can recognize odors, but I cannot recall an odor to mind, the way I can bring an image or sound to mind. So when my wife washed the blanket, I had no way to remember his smell. It was only a few days after he’d passed, and I was devastated. Where I’m going with this is that there’s no telling what objects a loved one will imbue with their memory. And it’s okay to be hurt when that random meaningful object is taken away. And, it’s okay to have feelings towards someone who hurt you that way.

[@rogrove6325]

In story 2, I loved the OP. A mature person who sees the good in people and appreciates what she has. I think the boyfriend stayed in the car probably more for her protection, since her ex is suddenly meeting rejection and who knows what people can be capable of in the face of that. I think the ex's mom had been having to listen to him complain for years and pine for her and had enough, called up OP on her own phone and shoved it in her sons face being like "we're getting this over with." I love it.

[@heymikey4025]

In story02 the Dude found out that the grass is greener over the septic tank (Erma Bombeck quote)

[@johnrobinson6449]

With the Grandma's recipe story, I just want to tell the OP that when somebody tells/shows you who they are... BELIEVE THEM! That is especially more important to pay attention to when they SHOW YOU!

[@Asset80]

Story 1 when a blessing is seen as a curse 😢

[@HamsterPooh]

SHE STOLE IT! Why would she throw it away? She liked the cake. She's jealous. She STOLE it.

[@Daug555]

S2: “It’s just a little too late …”🎶