My Father-In-Law Sneakily Ate One Of My Breast Milk Muffins That Was Only For Baby r/Relationships

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Omg. This is gonna be a wild ride. 1) FIL stole from a baby. 2) Repeatedly made strange comments about OP’s breast milk. 3) Stole it secretly. 4) He can’t understand why he’s wrong. He thinks it’s because they’re vegan? Or because there’s a few so the baby won’t miss one. 5) Made his Daughter in Law incredibly uncomfortable. 6) He’s done this multiple times to multiple women. 7) Forced his wife to feed their child behind a locked door because he’s a creep. This is not a misunderstanding.

[@JW-vd4il]

Look up Susan and Josh Powell. I don't think this FIL is that bad... or maybe I just hope so?

[@owenfautley]

It reminds me of when PETA said Ben and Jerry's should use human milk for their ice cream.

[@Russman67]

I'm not even sure creepy quite covers this. Father-in-law has a full-blown problem!

[@omnipossum92]

@@owenfautley True, but PETA is known for their shock value. They said that because they knew it was controversial and they wanted the attention.

[@jackchop1576]

"He's a narcissistic sociopath like all my exes and my father are!!"

[@msstarshine84]

Story 2 is so sad. You should never ever have a baby with an abuser, even if you're not together anymore, they will do everything in their power to try and control you and you'll never break free from them (unless you can get it court ordered). Her relationship with her mother is why she lacks boundaries and tolerated so much abuse from her ex in the first place. Been there, done that. It's going to be so much harder being a single parent, and unless she goes low contact with her mom that kid is going to grow up with the exact same trauma and lack of boundaries. Yikes.

[@DrownedInExile]

I lost all sympathy for OP in the last updates. She had the chance to escape, she blew it. She just keeps making awful self-destructive foolish choices. She's her own worst enemy.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Keeping in contact with her abuser is a completely horrid idea. I hope her therapist suggests that this is a terrible decision. I think the fact that this is still so fresh is the only reason why OP is keeping the door open.

[@brittanywhite6715]

She actually made me upset! Leave and lock that door behind you, don’t leave yourself open like this, it’s so unhealthy

[@damien678]

It's so easy to guilt with pets, too. If I abused my bf I hope after splitting he wouldn't let me see the babies, even though they and he are my world

[@DrownedInExile]

After the final updates, I have no more sympathy for OP. Bad enough she let herself get knocked up by her abuser, but she goes right back into the home of her other abuser? She is a fool and her own worst enemy.

[@damien678]

@@DrownedInExile A majority of victims of abuse are not able to leave permanently the first time. It can take approximately 7 attempts to be able to. You should have sympathy for a woman whom was clearly still being emotionally manipulated by him. Whom had a mother that also likely abused her and made her think a lot of this is more ok.

[@DrownedInExile]

@@damien678 Nope. She had the chance to escape, she blew it. B/f only had power to manipulate her, because she gave it to him. Being a victim doesn't erase her accountability for her poor choices. I stand by what I said.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

My goodness, that second OP, she was doing so good and was making great progress in removing herself from the toxic elements in her life just to waltz back into them. When will people learn to NOT have sex with an ex?

[@Habitarse]

Sex with ex is a bad idea, but worst is without protection. She wanted to keep a connection with him, imho. For this there is abortion and she should have done it. But she looked for a person that was as abusive as her mother.

[@justaperson4656]

​@@Habitarseabortion? In the states? Are you mad?

[@DrownedInExile]

She is her own worst enemy.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

I need people to stop having sex with their exes, especially if pregnancy is a risk.

[@jameshutchinson2817]

It's like how some familes know that one uncle is weird and potentially dangerous, but instead of removing the problem they warn the kids "don't be alone with uncle charlie" it's f*ing disgusting that families turn a blind eye to disturbing behavior because the creep is family.

[@SymbioteMullet]

"Broken step" mentality. You have a broken step on your stairs, but rather than just fix the stairs, you just keep stepping over it...

[@justaperson4656]

My home life was very abusive because of my mother's history with it. My friend was neglected at home, and my mother wouldn't let me stay over at hers, just her at our place because mum "didn't trust her dad" because he was a drunk. My own father was abusive to everyone except me until I was 12, at which point it turned to me too, but mum kept him around because her other kids grew up without their fathers. My sister's father was my own father's best friend, so he was there with me more than he was there with his own kid. Looking back on it, I wasn't allowed alone with him either. Turns out he'd abused my eldest sister and my brother's girlfriend cheated on my brother with sister's dad, despite gf being 16-17 at the time. FIL is a creep. She should file a report about it. It WILL escalate

[@jameshutchinson2817]

@@justaperson4656 I'm sorry for what you have suffered, I went to rehab and that is where I heard many stories of mothers staying with partners who would s.a their children and the mother would either be in denial or just accept it out of fear of being left. There were so many victims who had turned to drugs in order to deal with insanely horrible childhoods. I felt guilty for having grown up in a very supportive family. I hope you found a more healthy coping mechanism and are doing well in life.

[@jameshutchinson2817]

@@SymbioteMullet I've never heard that analogy, I like it.

[@justaperson4656]

@@jameshutchinson2817 you don't have to feel bad for having an addiction and a supportive family. Addiction can be genetic too, you might have an amazing home life but a genetic predisposition to addiction that leads you down that path. I was in my bedroom 24/7 when my dads abuse turned to me, there wasn't a lock or anything, but I'd be screamed at for daring to go to the kitchen for a snack, so my coping method was videogames and art; all things I can do on my own. I can't really interact with people though. I'm 19 now and I can't cook, can't make appointments, can't get a job (I'm legally classed as unable for employment), etc. I don't really see a point to going out for a walk, but I think that's more a product of my small town environment. Aside from that, I think I'm doing okay

[@mamakitty6549]

Story 2: as a child who came from an abusive family.. OP is full of mistakes... She doesn't sound very intelligent and I hope that baby will be okay. She absolutely will go back to him and that abuser is going to keep abusing. She'll be trapped in that cycle and when the child grows up... Will cut them both off with a LOT of therapy needed. I've done this with my family.

[@small_joys2022]

Not only is she not intelligent, but she thinks she is super intelligent and responsible and super pretty too!! She even mentions that in a post. The baby is doomed!

[@pascaleelliott63]

That's what I thought! If she goes back with her abusive ex, the only thing he's gonna learn from his toxic behaviour, is that he can get away with treating her like garbage, and in other cases a punching bag, as long as he says "Sowwy" afterwards. It's bullcrap

[@pragatisingh8467]

@@pascaleelliott63 It INFURIATED me when she talked about how she didn't hold grudges and was proud of him for 'understanding his mistakes' or whateva

[@pascaleelliott63]

@@pragatisingh8467 Me too. Just because he says he's taking accountability or says he "understands his mistakes", doesn't mean you forgive him. Actions have consequences and her leaving his sick ass cos of his disgusting behavior IS one of the consequences he has to live with. Yet she's not living up to her own promise of respecting and helping herself.

[@DrownedInExile]

OP is her own worst enemy.

[@CaptainCait]

“I’m already trying to be the best mum I can be” after just stating she’s considering going back to an abusive ex. Laughable.

[@DrownedInExile]

She is her own worst enemy.

[@jamestomlin5525]

Yep. What an absolute joke of a human

[@beccaf262]

Aw he’s “disappointed” in his behaviour? Good for him, he should be disgusted. He’s an abusive drug addict who clearly knows it because he was lovebombing her when his friends were there and instantly stopped when they left.

[@DrownedInExile]

I'm disappointed in OP's horribly poor choices. Poor future kid, will have a fool and an abuser for parents.

[@FreeToWaffle]

Not just love bombing, that’s his mask. His charismatic persona to make the world (in this case his friends) believe that he’s a wonderful human, when in reality he’s scum and knows exactly what he’s doing to manipulate OP to feel trapped and stay. He’s ensured that she has minimal funds, alienated her from family and friends, emotionally and psychologically abused her, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he did something to ensure that last encounter would get her pregnant as his last ditch attempt to get her back. Now he’s love bombing her and she thinks that the bullshit dream of a loving family is going to be a reality until she’s even further stuck 💔

[@FreeToWaffle]

@@DrownedInExile it’s disappointing for sure, but she’s no fool. She’s a victim of abuse.

[@void405]

​@@FreeToWaffle she was a victim until she was out and slept with him again. She said she was single and had "no intentions of rejoining that relationship." At some point, you got to take personal accountability for going back when you're out of the relationship.

[@FreeToWaffle]

@@void405 she still is the victim. All your comment tells me is that you don’t fully understand how this kind of abuse works. I’ll repeat what I said to someone else on this thread: Unless you've either experienced this situation for yourself, known someone close who has or work closelv with domestic abuse, it's unlikely you'll understand how much more complex this is. Too many people blame the abused person, the problem here is the abuser.

[@joeschmo622]

"Defeat snatched from the jaws of victory." The Opie didn't dodge a bullet. She stepped right in front of a claymore.

[@jakeand9020]

She dodged the bullet... By jumping on the grenade.

[@DrownedInExile]

This girl grabbed a one-way ticket to Alderaan.

[@ScooterBond1970]

She took the blue pill.

[@starbird3939]

The FIL is a creep and it is only a matter of time before he does worse. If the husband refuses to engage in protect his wife, then move out to some place safe

[@paulinadeboer3604]

Haha did any of you ever tasted breastmilk after Growing up? I don't think so, fil has a sweettooth. Breastmilk is verry sweet. You can stop this problem with Milk and honey. Tast the same more or less. It is an easy fix.

[@elcat2577]

​@@paulinadeboer3604 His wife was uncomfortable by it. Its not a sweet tooth. I did a quick search of lactation kink. A erotic lactation wiki and other articles came up. Its genuinely a thing people are into and he's forcing it on his wife, daughter in law and co-workers. If you don't believe me look it up yourself.

[@dopaminedrought395]

@@paulinadeboer3604 it's naive to interpret this story as him just liking the taste of human milk. he gets off on being a creep towards pregnant people, and the fact that the milk came from their breasts, not the taste of it.

[@NovaGirl8]

​@@paulinadeboer3604him liking breastmilk does not give him the licence to harass other unwilling lactating women for it. Go offer yours since you are defending him so he can stop harassing the DIL for hers.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

@@NovaGirl8 i agree that is why i gave a solution to this problem

[@msredux]

21 years old and pregnant with an abuser baby, and she will get back together with him, what a grim future

[@sister_bertrille911]

She's an idiot for hooking up with him, and for most likely not using birth control. Nice move, sweetheart, now you're stuck with an abuser for the next 18 years. Good job, good effort.

[@DrownedInExile]

And she chose that future.

[@MsTemptation]

Unfortunately, neither she nor her ex should have continued their relationship beyond being high school sweethearts. There was zero individual growth. Both needed to get some more life experience before making a true commitment to anyone. The annoying part is that during all of their troubles it didn’t stop them from engaging in sexual intercourse and now she’s pregnant. That poor kid will not have a blessed life surrounded by nothing but dysfunction due the crappy foundation laid by its parents. I wish the child luck because its going to need it.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

@@DrownedInExileand sadly she will go back her own fault when she does

[@jamesverone1244]

Typical women

[@AndyyWithAY]

Lactation is kink. I've heard about it firsthand. But this isn't a kink, it's a (borderline) crime. Um... also WTF is wrong with MIL. She didn't think to warn OP that her husband was a whole ass sex pest. She had to lock herself away to breastfeed. He got consequences at work for this same behavior. I'd be NC with all these ILs for a long time if not forever

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

Because some men are still hiding behind the "men can't control themselves" defense, not understanding they're saying that cis male-identifying-people are animals and unworthy to be in society if that is true.

[@L3adb3lly]

Nothing wrong with kink, unless you try to involve non-consenting parties.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@L3adb3lly no one said anything was wrong with a kink

[@catsncrows]

@@L3adb3lly well this is definitely a case of non consenting isn't it? Also MIL normalize this creep now because otherwise i have to face i put up with him😭 Oop i sound argumentative, i was agreeing with you.😶

[@damien678]

​@@L3adb3llyYeah he's got no kink etiquette whatsoever, he's a creep

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 there's no excuse for him being abusive. The drugs or withdrawal might be a reason, but not an excuse. Not shocking this is a long standing pattern of behavior. I'm glad BF's mom had her back. She's the MVP here. He acts like an invalid, but can host guests. This is all an act. Uggh I'm so disgusted by OP's mom. As long as I live, if my daughter's in an abusive relationship, I'm telling her to get out and doing all I can to help. Clean up our messes?? By staying with an abuser? That gets women on Dateline.

[@DrownedInExile]

I lost all sympathy for OP in the last updates. She's a damn fool, and her own worst enemy. Well it's her life to destroy. Correction: she'll take her poor future kid down with her.

[@gorkemaykut5230]

Op's sister calling police should've been the wake up call but unfortunately the problem with those who are in an abusive relationship is that they don't think they need help and think all of this is normal

[@FreeToWaffle]

@@DrownedInExile she’s still completely under his illusion - she hasn’t accepted that what he’s done is emotionally and psychologically abuse her. This is despite her describing her fear and inability to leave in person. This is all by design on his part. It’s how this kind of abuse works. She needs the right kind of support to understand the gravity of this situation for her and her unborn child. Unless you’ve either experienced this situation for yourself, known someone close who has or work closely with domestic abuse, it’s unlikely you’ll understand how much more complex this is. Too many people blame the abused person, the problem here is the abuser. I hope OP gets all the love and support she deserves to get away safely.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

@@FreeToWaffle I think he got her pregnant on purpose. Just as a way to tie her to him. They went through the whole relationship with no oops until the last sexual encounter when both knew that was it? I call bullshit.

[@FreeToWaffle]

@@technicaldifficulties368 I completely agree with you

[@lienemeid]

As someone who breastfed for approximately 6284 years, that IS weird. I used to make pancakes with my milk for the baby and my family (understandably) didn’t touch them. My son even had a strong distrust of my normal pancakes for months after that, asking “if they were made of milk from *regular* cows”. I didn’t enjoy the implication there 😂

[@poemofbriarrose5613]

😂😂 “Regular cows” … that’s great! My husband and I have often joked that I had so much milk I would have been a good cow 😂😂

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Oh that little boy has some sass on him!

[@jason501ful]

6284 year's? Did you mean day's? Cause that's pretty ancient.

[@streamerssaymyname]

I was never creative with it but I never pumped, I think all these recipes make sense if you have pumped and stored a bunch.

[@keishaizawesome2836]

😂😂😂😂😂😂little kids are a trip

[@downunderandoverit]

I raged at the hookup and pregnancy lol Everything just gets worse

[@messinalyle4030]

Op #2 was a child of divorce, but according to her mother, "we don't run away from our messes, we clean them up." Okay. And how is this mother cleaning up her own mess if she's offering her pregnant daughter alcohol and losing her shit when she refuses? Pot, meet kettle.

[@DrownedInExile]

OP isn't even cleaning up her mess, she's jumping back in head-first.

[@CyncialSammy]

Ik this easy to say given I'm an outsider but OP is so stupid, hooking up as a last hurrah with abusive fiancé, then when she finds shes pregnant sees herself missing the abuse fiancé now baby daddy, and proceeding to stay in the POS mother's guest house. I mean wtf.

[@nikkitaiyang1524]

I never understand why people that are breaking up hook up “one last time” it’s overall a very stupid idea and there are literally no benefits to doing that. I was very sympathetic to OP before that but now she’s chosen to ruin her life and her baby’s life with her own poor choices. The only one I feel sympathy for is the baby that had no choice in this and has to be born into a toxic environment.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP needs to put this baby up for adoption. She doesn't seem to be in a stable position, the baby daddy is an abusive POS, her mom is smoking and offering her drinks. It'll be much harder for her to get it together as a single mom. If she finds the baby a good happy home I think that's best for the both of them

[@smapa1185]

I agree. This child would be better off not with its birth parents

[@DrownedInExile]

Fat chance. OP just keeps making awful choices. I feel bad for the future kid, having an abuser and a fool for parents.

[@ettinakitten5047]

Also, putting baby up for adoption doesn't mean she can't have a relationship with her baby. Lots of adoptions nowadays are open adoptions, where one or both bio parents have regular updates and possibly visits, and as the bio parent giving your child up you get to choose who to place the baby with and if it's open or closed adoption.

[@felix0-014]

Unfortunately the father may be able to petition for custody to prevent the adoption. The smart thing would be to document the abuse and get a OOP and full custody of her child so he can only have supervised visitation at most.

[@felix0-014]

@@ettinakitten5047 unfortunately open adoptions are a pipe dream. Most adoptive parents shut out the mother shortly after the baby is past the point where the mother can change her mind.

[@pickle_pup8187]

The ILs in the first story are just 😳. MIL had an obligation to OP to let her know what the situation was with FIL. It is a safety issue and the fact that they are so like whatever about the issue really has me grossed out. Just no. I would nope out of there. The locks would be changed, LO and I would be no contact for a while and the ILs would not be allowed at my home until further notice. Any contact going forward with them would be in public.

[@GMWILD87]

I was thinking the same thing knowing OP was breastfeeding at IL house she should have given a hey maybe lock the door so no one barges in but MILs cavalier attitude about him having to change jobs and her buying a lock during her feeding is so much more than a red flag that FIL is a borderline threat to pregnant women.

[@HardcoreLevelingBaka]

That second story man. Op’s ex was a terrible person, and I want to feel bad for her, but at a certain point she lost my sympathy. I know that it’s difficult to leave an abuser, and I’m not victim blaming her, but at this point Op has to take personal responsibility for the situation she is in now, and actually make the decision if this is how she wants to live the rest of her life. Op bided her time and made a perfect clean break, far away from this abusive scumbag, only to go back to him for one last hookup, and ended up pregnant with his kid, and now he’s moving to to be closer to her, sending her gifts, and now she’s teeter-tottering with the idea of getting back together with him. If that isn’t enough she also went back to her abusive mother and Is letting her walk all over her. I wish Op the best, but I don’t feel sympathy for her.

[@small_joys2022]

Same here. Imagine giving her kid such a horrible father. And at 21 too!!! Thats a full grown adult and a irresponsible one to boot

[@pragatisingh8467]

@@small_joys2022 the fact that she informed him about the pregnancy first thing. I feel like she might have gotten used to that kinda instability and can't prevent herself from jumping right back into it. A lot of people stay in toxic environments for that reason.

[@naturalbaby]

Perfectly sums up my point. If she has this little self respect, what will she allow her kid to be put through? She has the same mentality as her mom but instead of fixing the mess, she is living in it.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

@@pragatisingh8467 Codependency is a hell of a drug.

[@DrownedInExile]

I don't sympathize with her either. She's a fool and her own worst enemy.

[@sadraccoonboy]

I’m glad other people are saying they don’t feel sympathy for OP2 cuz that’s how I was feeling but was like damn that’s mean of me 😭

[@BunnyBobBesaRamirez]

Story 1: Oh my god, they need to keep FIL away from OP. He is unhinged. But, that 'Homelander?' line threw me for a loop. lol Also, I hope everyone is doing good.

[@devegas4910]

So OP’s FIL is a sexual deviant and his wife just was fine with staying married to his creepy ass?! Story 2: I really wish op didn’t decide to keep the baby considering that she was trying to get away from her ex and her mom. Even if the ex is getting his shit together, the mom is… a demon.

[@JennRighter]

These women having children from one night stands and with these crazy abusive men I just don’t understand it and only have sympathy for the children. It’s such a selfish and weird thing.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

I remember the second story, I was really hoping she got out but it sounds to me like she's being pulled right back into the cycle of abuse with both her ex and her mom. I know that financially she doesn't have many options but damn, that sucks.

[@JohnR219]

She didn't get pulled back in, she engaged in self-sabotage

[@brittanywhite6715]

So frustrating and it was her choice to put herself back in that position, I don’t have any sympathy by update 5 honestly

[@desertgirl8647]

The ending was very disappointing 😞

[@DrownedInExile]

@@brittanywhite6715 Me neither. She is her own worst enemy.

[@trout512]

Holy cow, for story 1 that FIL needs to be on a list. All of that adds up to yikes, and I hope they stay no contact.

[@heathermiller5765]

Holy cow lol

[@justaperson4656]

I really don't understand why she hasn't filed a report. A simple "my FIL seems creepy, he's fetishized my breastfeeding and by extension my baby, here are screenshots. MIL has said he's done this in the past to herself and co-workers, to the point he got fired" to the cops gets you a paper trail. A paper trail will stop it escalating

[@MaikoSan00]

dear lord that 2nd update. She just literally went back to her abusers (ex and mother) Like how hard was it to NOT HOOKUP with your addict ex? Meeting up due to furbabies? Cmon. I thought she was gonna focus on therapy, not on adding another innocent life that will fck up due to their dynamics.

[@justabunneh6490]

She already referred to him as their "father" which was weird...maybe she subconsciously got herself pregnant to keep a connection with him

[@DrownedInExile]

OP is her own worst enemy. I feel bad for her future kid, who didn't chose an abuser and a fool for parents.

[@PeacheIIe]

Story 2, the fact that she's still talking to and is "proud of" a guy who hit her hard enough to bruise and locked her out on a balcony is so heartbreaking. I wish someone would shake her and snap her out of it so she'd get a restraining order from this scumbag.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S2 made me so mad. I also found it ironic that OP is all, “I’m so glad he’s taking responsibility!” but then goes through life like, “Oh well, this happened to me, nothing I can do about it now!” She’s never going to break the cycle and now her kid is going to be subjected to a known addict and abuser. Poor kid.

[@nightcorelucario2218]

S2 after update 3: well I'm happy OP is finally out and is taking care of herself and the ex has seen the error of his ways and is making amends Start of update 4: WHY?!?!

[@DrownedInExile]

"You were supposed to leave your abuser, not join him!"

[@klaythoring1326]

I'm glad the husband was supportive when he understood the problem. FIL needs to learn some boundaries and self-control. The other one though, so sad. I don't know if that's real or someone doing some novel research but dang. She's making all the choices to trap herself into unhealthy habits for the rest of her life.

[@dw146]

Anyone else get a milk commercial right after story 1 or is it just me? 😂 That’s the worst ad after hearing about the pervy grandpa.

[@impishrebel5969]

No, I got a baby crib commercial.

[@Gotabonetopick]

When you're in a 'dumbest person in the world' contest and your opponent is the op of story 2.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Girl what?? Why did you get pregnant knowing this relationship was a 💩 show. And you told him about the pregnancy. And he's moving to your town. This is almost the worst possible update. Unless she can somehow terminate his rights, which like everything in the legal system can take way too much effort, you're tied to this man for at least the next 20 years 😱😭 Now she's living with her awful mom. OMG this just gets worse.

[@DrownedInExile]

I feel bad for the future kid. Having an abuser and a moron for parents.

[@ijornhribrudkrvir]

Yeah like the pregnancy alone is a bad situation, and I understand her wanting to keep it but if that's the case the best move would be to not tell him and move somewhere else PROMPTLY. Now he's in her life forever and the kid is gonna have a fucked up family life

[@BacklitRabbit]

Jesus christ, what am I about to get into? EDIT: I hate it here.

[@maryrigby6541]

Last story,OP will end up back with her ex, her mother will see to that, that is why she is pushing OPs buttons and fighting with her it is to push her into goin back to her ex

[@msinformation91]

Story 2: Girl, you need to go.

[@ian7064]

Story 2: She's a lost cause. She'll go back to him and post the next update from a hospital room

[@DrownedInExile]

And she'll whine to anyone who will listen, how awful her life is, farming for sympathy. While taking zero accountability for her own choices.

[@dianakosianka5344]

​@@DrownedInExileTHIS kind of thinking is what pushes people to stay in abusive relationships. I hope you never talk that way to the women in your life. It must be nice to always be perfect and never make any mistakes...

[@DrownedInExile]

@@dianakosianka5344 Nonsense. OP didn't make mistakes, she made poor choices again and again. Being a victim doesn't erase her accountability. I stand by what I said.

[@GiordanDiodato]

as someone who has a bit of a lactation fetish (well more like drippy boob fetish than anything), FIL is creepy af. like, has he ever heard of "self-control"?

[@bug-in-a-rug]

Your experiences are valid and thank you so much for your perspective, but not even being tortured for five years straight would get this information outta me 😭

[@aprilfox9205]

😬

[@Plaprad]

@@bug-in-a-rug So that's a "yes"?

[@catsncrows]

If he had issues at a place of employment I'd say he's far past that

[@DrownedInExile]

Nothing wrong with having a fetish. But respect and consent matter. FiL is 100% a pervert. The MiL isn't much better, normalizing that crap in her house.

[@keishaizawesome2836]

Lactation porn is a thing so Im not too surprised but I was surprised when MIL spilled that tea lmao😂😂😂😂 wtf

[@miaposamarie226]

Story 2 is my (and most women's) straight up nightmare. If I was in her positiin it'll have a next day abortion and a permanent block /retraining order to both mother and him. She's going to have a rough ride and her child a pretty mizerable time ubless she puts them for adoption or distances herself forever from ex and mother.

[@bloonh8tr619]

I remeber the first story and that FIL is a predator and sleezy.

[@RainbowRandomFilms]

that last story.... life really gives you rough decisions and even if a decision "makes sense", it doesn't mean it's the easier one to choose. she says she already loves the baby, but she's tied herself to her abusive ex for life. and though her dad's house is full, surely it's better than staying with her mum and dealing with that abuse as well. it almost seems like a cycle that OP doesn't know how to escape; every time she almost manages to leave she's pulled back, and I wonder if part of that is because she doesn't know any other way.

[@maximillian1109]

Yeah, if she truly loved that kid she would not be bringing it into this mess of a situation. She can have kids once she is a proper adult in a stable situation. A prime example for when abortion should be considered.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 2: #NoGloveNoLove On the list of 'biggest mistakes' is generally having unprotected 'one last time' sex. Frankly, unless you're actively trying for a baby, never skip the condom! I can't believe (okay I can) I'm hearing another one of these 'oops' babies drawing someone (some TWO, actually) back into a terrible situation. Ugh!

[@pascaleelliott63]

This is practically the guy (abusive ex) baby-trapping the girl (OP).

[@DrownedInExile]

@@pascaleelliott63 Takes 2 to tango. She didn't have to spread her legs for him, or fail to take morning-after pills. She's a fool and her own worst enemy.

[@tully6648]

Story 2: Honestly, I'm more horrified by this story than the first one. I knew from the moment she said she was still communicating with him weekly that this was going to go wrong, and it really did. I want to be understanding because it's clear she had a questionable upbringing herself and I remember being 21 and thinking you had to fight for love and whatever, but... dang, am I just mad at OP. Saying things like "I already love this baby so much and want the best for it," but choosing to bring it into a situation where everything is just awful is so, so frustrating. I really hope she does better, but I'm mostly hoping for the baby's sake. It didn't do anything to deserve any of this.

[@DerekScottBland]

Story 2 - you can already tell OP will be back under this guy's domination and now he'll have that poor kid to abuse as well. "I'm trying everything in my power to be a good mom." No, a "good mom" wouldn't have hooked up with her fucking abuser, especially allowing him to fuck her without protection. What an idiot. "His mom is good at reigning him in" Oh, really? How did that turn out last time? Oh, more abuse? Looks like mom isn't that good at reigning him in. It seems obvious that her mom is trying to drive her back to her ex, as she's already said she believes they shouldn't have separated in the first place. Now with a baby coming, I'm sure she's doubling down on that old world mentality of "woman takes abuse from man and submits to him."

[@scourgedarkpaw9949]

Stop victim blaming. It's very hard to leave an abusive relationship.

[@ghost-husband]

you're basically siding with the abuser if you're gonna call the VICTIM of abuse an idiot. it's way easier to say what you should do when you're not the one actually in the situation, it's not always so easy as "well just leave".

[@scourgedarkpaw9949]

@@ghost-husband I agree

[@DerekScottBland]

@@scourgedarkpaw9949 - stop white knighting. Pointing out someone's constant bad decisions is not victim blaming.

[@DerekScottBland]

@@ghost-husband - no, I'm not siding with the abuser, but good try. And she did "just leave." She was gone. She didn't have to be around him any more. She chose to hook up with him again. She chose to let him fuck her without protection. She chose to go back to her abusive mother that she knows will help continue pushing her back to her ex. At some point a sane person has to look at the situation and go "you're obviously not ready for help yet, you still like this situation."

[@RRW359]

1:50 Note about Veganism: I'm not one but I know several and it's about the fact that the source of the food couldn't have consented. OP streight-up didn't consent so it isn't Vegan.

[@Araraki-Itto1]

Story 2: I feel bad for OP truly. She finally got free from that horrible man only to be shackled to him again. She leapt from one Hell and landed right into another. She'll never truly be free from him now and this baby is his chain to rein her back in and he knows it. It's why he's being so overly enthusiastic. Some may see it as him stepping up but I personally don't buy it. OP says she's going to be okay but the way I'm seeing it. She's in for a whole new world of suffering. I wish her and the child the best regardless.

[@sister_bertrille911]

I don't feel sorry for her. I did until she hooked up with abuser boyfriend and then continued to make one bad decision after another. Good luck to the child, for whom I truly feel sorry.

[@DrownedInExile]

@@sister_bertrille911 I don't sympathize either. OP is a fool and her own worst enemy.

[@small_joys2022]

21 is not too young to understand her child does not deserve an abusive father. It was incredibly irresponsible of her to hookup with that person.

[@pascaleelliott63]

Abusers have one thing in common : they want nothing but power. By any means necessary. And him practically baby-trapping her by realing her in with "nice gestures" to sleeping with him, is part of the power reclaiming move. This baby will shackle her to him for life.

[@DrownedInExile]

@@pascaleelliott63 He has power over OP, because she gave it to him. Repeatedly.

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Story 2: I think OP is going to get back with him. He was abusive even before the pain. She accepted abuse their entire relationship.

[@DrownedInExile]

Of course she's going to go back to him. She's made so many awful self-destructive decisions, what's one more?

[@BlueSkyBS]

There are only so many stupid decisions that someone can make before you start to lose sympathy for them. OP in Story 2 is clinging to that precipice and considering letting go to scratch an itch.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Ok that has to take the cake for most out there title. Sneakily eating a breast milk muffin 👀👀 🤮 he put in the group chat he wanted to taste her mammary milk muffins. He told on himself 😒

[@soogymoogi]

I think people are a bit weird about breast milk overall (though I will admit I share FIL's... interest) but the issue here is moreso OP's boundaries around it and FIL pushing his fetish on people who don't want it pushed on them!

[@MooncrafterUTAU]

Do not feel guilty about it! My husband also has a breast milk fetish - so long as engaging in said thing is entirely consensual there's not a damn thing wrong with you.

[@whims6278]

​@@MooncrafterUTAU this is such a kind, validating, respectful response 👏 made me smile- I'd expected otherwise

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

As Mooncrafter said - absolutely nothing wrong with lac kink, as long it's everyone involved is consensual. Even if a kink is NMK, you do you. Consent is the issue here, and consent is ALWAYS the important part, followed by being risk aware. Honestly, lac kink is way more common than people think but a lot of people are easily squicked (not just by lactation, just in general).

[@pragatisingh8467]

@@JustAnotherBuckyLover alos the fact that one should involve only sexual/romantic partners in it, not your own family members, even if its consentual.

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

@@pragatisingh8467 Well yes, definitely. But even aside from that extra-creepy factor, consent is still the major issue. Technically there's no law against a FIL and DIL having an intimate relationship (morally is another matter, though, especially when one or both are still married) even if it seems icky... but she STILL didn't consent, so it makes little difference at its core.

[@Myskitti]

"I stopped trying to force myself to find the joy in his presence." That is.... a POWERFUL sentence. Iykyk

[@Habitarse]

To story 2: why not abortion? She wanted to be in this position. Very sad indeed.

[@chelseasalmonstiles9471]

My creepy uncle asked my sister for some of her breast milk

[@theprodigaltrue]

Hate those people who are like my mom treated me like shit my entire life so i moved in with her and am suprised she treats me like shit

[@Steampunkkids]

PSA for Story #2: if you are like OP, PLEASE consider going to weekly CoDA (Co-dependent Anonymous iirc) meetings. Just as the user needs weekly NA/ AA meetings, you do too! Or else the pattern of use and abuse will continue.

[@genevievemeuniere4047]

This!

[@Steampunkkids]

@@genevievemeuniere4047 Thank you. It is a good resource.

[@DrownedInExile]

@@Steampunkkids Fat chance. OP just kept making one foolish self-destructive choice after another.

[@helenlewis2510]

Story 2 is heartbreaking, she was so close to cutting him out of her life for good and now sh’ll never be fully free of him

[@potatoempress5731]

Story 2 is where people are cheering for OP only for the ending to undo ALL of the progress she made. That baby is doomed.

[@kaidrazarc8000]

Story 2: wow.... Just wow, kinda hard to be sympathetic with her as her ruined life is her own choice She chose an abusive relationship with plenty of red flags but she did finally hit a breaking point & see the light ...... Then she goes back for 1 last hurrah & gets pregnant Decides she loves the baby & gonna keep it & ex is back in her life as her baby daddy She had a chance of a fresh start with a new her & she immediately relapsed Good luck to her ever finding a nice guy she's 21 with a baby & an abusive ex regularly in her life who will likely threaten any guy she tries to get with as "shes his baby mama"

[@DrownedInExile]

I lost all sympathy for her in the final updates. She's her own worst enemy.

[@DigitalCowboy000]

I've heard the second story before. The OP should have never had *ANY* contact with her ex.

[@kitkakitteh]

Story2: don’t hook up with a drug addict unless you want a lifetime of policing their addiction. Because not doing drugs doesn’t make their problems disappear. You’ll spend your life dealing with their lying and garbage. OMG she caved! She is the very definition of f*ck around and find out😂 This, ladies is why you don’t do a one last romp with the trash you’re dumping. Her life is now screwed for the foreseeable future. She just cannot stop making bad choices.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

I can see why OP was so complicit with her fiancé being abusive, because I mean look at her mother! The woman constantly chain, smoking outside of her daughters bedroom, and constantly trying to push alcoholic beverages to her, trying to get her to have a miscarriage…..

[@tully6648]

And yet her mom was also mad at her for wanting to leave her BF because "we clean our messes" or whatever she said. She really just wants OP to be miserable no matter what.

[@jenniferkay9789]

Not a lot of sympathy for OP2. How stupid can you be, to sleep/hookup with an ex you don't want to be with?!?🤦

[@AngelaMerici12]

And then she wants to have his baby. What can I tell you? 🤦‍♀️

[@tully6648]

@@AngelaMerici12 It hurts to read things like "I already love this baby so much and want the best for it." If that's true, then OP HAS to know this isn't what's best for it.

[@DrownedInExile]

She purchased a one-way ticket to Alderaan.

[@kuzja124]

breast milk muffins ? ah what is wrong with ppl

[@NovaGirl8]

It is still milk and viable food. Breastmilk ice cream exists and is sold in small quantities due to limited supply of the milk. The issue in Story 1 is that FIL did not ask and still stole the food even when it was forbidden since he has the impulse control of a toddler

[@squishyshaft]

Oh my god. I was in the gas station listening to this video and when you said "Homelander" I burst out laughing. I think I scared the cashier 😂

[@rachael8646]

Tbh, that's one of the exact reasons women fight so hard to have options around pregnancy. I absolutely do not believe she is in any position to keep the child and provide it/herself with a happy life.

[@moshigal156]

Shit I’ve seen Story 2 before, but it’s gotten SO much worse. I feel bad for saying this, but OP would be a goddamn fool to keep the baby in these circumstances. The last thing she needs is a permanent physical connection to her abuser, and that poor kid doesn’t deserve to be subjected to whatever fuckery the father may pull in the future. He’s already love bombing her and trying to get OP to come back to him, and he won’t stop until he gets what he wants. OP would be doing her AND her child a massive disservice by bringing this baby into the world while she still has contact with the abusive ex. That man will no doubt use the baby to hurt her and will likely start abusing the baby too. If she wants to keep the baby, then at minimum she needs to go COMPLETELY no contact with her ex and make sure he has no access to the baby at least until they become an adult and can make their own decisions. If OP can’t or won’t do that, then the kindest thing she could possibly do for herself and her baby is to terminate the pregnancy.

[@Jana_7]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@DrownedInExile]

You don't have anything to feel bad about. It's not victim blaming, it's victim accountability. OP is a fool and her own worst enemy.

[@chelkepopo3455]

Story 2: What is op thinking! What went through her head just to get laid, sheesh what a horrible choice

[@spikeoramathon]

for story 2: OP's mom saying: "we clean up our messes" chilled me. THIS is why OP thought it was ok to be with a man who wouldn't let her call her family while "unsupervised" and normalized years of verbal abuse. I have a dear childhood friend who is trapped in an abusive relationship - she was shamed by her family into marrying him and further shamed to stay with him, all due to the same kind of reasoning. We don't give up, we don't leave a bad situation behind, and even if we're abused we put up with it because we're not quitters. Women (and men) have been killed by their partners due to thinking like this. It. Has. To. Stop.

[@daisyp1670]

as someone who had an abusive boyfriend and ended up also living with my mom, i hope therapy helps that OP realize that her mom is 100% the problem, like mine is. And I hope she can get out, like I wish I could.

[@lizzykayOT7]

When OP said she didn't resent her abuser, you knew what was coming. She put her pets above her own happiness. Some people just don't love themselves. This is the hard part about dealing with abuse victims, they don't leave and will defend their abusers.

[@virtualatheist]

There is nothing more scary than a mother's righteous fury.

[@charliescott859]

Story 2: jesus, terminate that pregnancy

[@kristinecollier9155]

When she said she was pregnant, my eyes popped out!!!

[@shebakoby]

Story 2: Geez, OP's mom sounds like one of those "BUT FAAAAMLY" Clusters of Bees.

[@godbearxd]

I don't do well with stupid people. Most of the time a woman is talking about one horrible ex or another I'm just sitting there counting all the red flags she somehow missed as my empathy evaporates like gasoline on hot pavement.

[@artistwithawanderingeye908]

Wait for Story 2, OP's mom blames her for the relationship going south and tells her to essentially suck it up, but when op leaves, she stays with her mom? Why didn't she stay with her dad?

[@DrownedInExile]

Because she's an expert at making awful self-destructive decisions again and again.

[@gks9149]

Story 2: its hard feeling sympathetic towards someone constantly doing bad choice after bad choice but her mother and family dynamic doesn't seem good so she doesn't know any better. all of this at 21, pregnant by and abuser and drug addict. this is insane. Do better people!

[@meOW0131]

Last story: OP just seems to love to make one bad decision after another. Self sabotage.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - There are times in your life and circumstances that just scream 'do not have this baby!' and this is one of them. This poor girl is never going to realize her dreams, will go back and forth with this idiot she got knocked up by, and put up with however anyone wants to treat her. Feel bad for her, but the 'one last hook up' = especially without protection - was the worst thing she could have done.

[@KisameOwnsYouAll]

s2; I have absolutely no sympathy for this woman at all. It's like she lusts after making the stupidest possible choices. She chose to sleep with her abuser ex, she chose to keep the baby of the abuser ex, she chose to move in with her crazy, abusive mother. No self-reflection, no self-improvement; just guaranteeing her child lives a terrible life. Good luck to the kid because with a mother like that it's gonna need some luck.

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: Nasty! I'm glad OP threw out the pervert FiL, and husband has come around. But OP should ban MiL as well. She may have normalized his creepy lactation-fetish, doesn't mean anyone else has to!

[@naediggs4816]

For the last story, that man trapped her. She was leaving him, and he trapped her with a baby. Hearing about her mother, that OP almost never had a chance. I hope she gets away from him. I wish we would just be honest with women so they can be on the lookout for this sort of thing, because it is soooo common. There's a misconception that women are the only ones trapping men, but the other way around is EXTREMELY common. The fact that she is so kind to the abusers in her life and so hopeful for them, imo, shows that she's not centered enough in her own emotions, because she should be angry. And disgusted as well, by the both of them I'm so sorry for this woman. She's truly trapped, and I hope she can make her way out.

[@mca7982]

#1 disturbing. MIL had to lock the door. That is gross.

[@NicciFreeman]

Wait did she say “Let me call my parents unsupervised?”

[@HobieInTheBox]

Story 2: NOOOOOO GOD. OP was so blind to the abuse every step of the way, even when she was pondering it, even when EVERYONE on reddit told her it's abuse, and she didn't fucking listen! God stories like these make me sad

[@eddavanleemputten9232]

Second story: “His mom is good at reigning him in.” Yeah. Been there. And then my ex’s mother got cancer and shortly after the diagnosis she passed away. It was hell after that. The mental abuse and gaslighting were terrible. He wore me down so much I ended up believing him for far too much. One of the frequently repeated threats was that he’d take away and make sure I’d never get to see our child. He even managed to get my parents to believe some of the crap he was spouting. Our child was 10 years old before we got away. It took a lot of therapy to heal from that one… and to this day, many years later, I still catch myself reacting weird to certain situations because of that horrible relationship. Also: never, EVER believe the abusive (ex)partner is going to be the best parent ever. They might promise and truly believe they’re going to he the best parent they can be, but that.s just where the issue lies: the best parent THEY CAN BE. An abusive partner CANNOT be a good parent. The best they can be is a goot parent part time, and a crappy to horrible parent the rest of the time. Either they eventually turn on the kid and start outright abusing them, or at the very least they try to turn the kid into a mini-me: abusive, entitled, and horrid. Don’t forget parental alienation either. Don’t forget abusers are master manipulators and masters at gaslighting. The mother unintentionally said one thing right. “We clean up after ourselves.” Cleaning up in this case means a total break from the ex partner and only supervised visits at most, if OP insists on keeping her baby. She can have her father designated as one of the supervisors so she doesn’t need to be at those supervised visits all the time, or have a court-appointed official to do so. But she needs to STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM HIM. Don’t ever go back into an abusive relationship even when there’s someone to “reign them in”. Get out and get as far away as you possibly can. Then stay there.

[@1isgrl88]

That second story is heartbreaking, having her abuser's baby.😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@aphelion4616]

Story 1: I'm done with the internet for the night. Thank you, and good night. :: Just closes laptop and walks away ::

[@faeangel7649]

That last update really shows how and why OP stayed with an abuser so long and can feel herself falling for his love bombing. Because her mother was her abuser first. I really hope she gets out and as far away from both of them as she can

[@cocobrowny]

Story 2: I don’t know why people can’t use a condom, pull their d*ck out if they don’t, get the morning-after pill or have an early abortion. I’m almost convinced that she wanted to conceive this child, otherwise she would have done everything she could to make sure it didn’t happen. So she’s been with him for sim many years and never gotten pregnant, but now that she supposedly wants to escape she does so out of the blue??She lost all of my sympathy at that point. I wish her luck but it could have been prevented

[@ineedhoez]

She did.

[@hilarymurray8741]

BF being obnoxious story : NTA OP. You have seen how bad this man-child can be when things are rough for him. It is a good warning. If everything you do is wrong for him when you are just bf/gf, it is much, much worse when you are married. You could see it as a narrow escape to see that aspect of his behaviour before you got deeper into the relationship. You could think he might mature more as time passes or you could hope to win the lottery, with similar chances of success. Thank the mother for taking over the commitment you felt you had to bad tempered bf, and move on. Being in pain does not make good people nasty to those trying to help them.

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

Story 2: It's in sickness and in health, not in sickness and dickholery.

[@catrinacarter5371]

Okay Mark , first time commenting, normally just hit the like button. However, your response to this story has me flat lining in my bed😂😂 But your right weird and creepy is my vote.

[@agathoklesmartinios8414]

Story 2: Why the fuck does this happen so often? That people who broke up after an abusive relationship eventually have 'one last shag' and then, whoops, the woman is pregnant. I can't help but think that was a deliberate ploy from the ex-fiancé to get back with OP.

[@kaidrazarc8000]

Gotta give props to the ex he has 1 last chance, 1 last shag to get her pregnant to chain her to him & he knocks it outta the park 😂 But she is the architect of her own misery so hard to feel bad for her

[@DrownedInExile]

If this was a ploy, OP fell for it with legs wide open.

[@thebookofgenises]

story 2: she was 100% baby trapped

[@justabunneh6490]

It takes 2 to tango her her "fur babies father" 😫

[@Moonwalker_2007]

This IS giving Homelander vibes 😂😂😂😂😂 whoever commented that is a genius 😅

[@DrownedInExile]

I didn't get that reference. But I know enough about that series to think, I'm probably better off not knowing!

[@Moonwalker_2007]

@@DrownedInExile hahaha it’s sick 😂😂😂

[@JMac7395]

Story 1: Sounds like FIL has a breastmilk fetish aka Lactophilia. Other than OP & the coworker that reported him, it seems like the family were fully aware of his fetish but did nothing to curve it. When FIL was reported for creeping on his coworker while breastfeeding, that should've been the push to get him some help.

[@cheskydivision]

Every abuser acts contrite to get the victim back. Op cut your ex out 100%. You can not be friends. He acted the perfect bf when ppl were around and reverted. It’s all an act. He will use that kid to control you. Maybe consider not having the kid.