My Husband Is Projecting His Past Bullying Experiences On To Our Son r/Relationships

[@nikkiwhray1598]

I think the father in the 1st story has decided that being popular is the same thing as being a bully. Many people are "popular" because they are kind, funny, and outgoing, and many bullies use their behavior to mask their low self-esteem.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

The most popular girl in our high school was the sweetest girl you could ever meet, she was a wonderful person and I don't think a single person disliked her. She became homecoming and prom queen, she's amazing.

[@pippo17173]

Bullies come in many different backgrounds. That should be a given regardless on who is popular.

[@nicholashodges201]

There's popular people, then there's the "Popular" clique. Bullying is a pretty standard group activity when you are talking about that particular clique and the way OP puts it Jordan isn't popular, he's "Popular" as in he's part of the clique.

[@nicholashodges201]

@D H I'm willing to bet you're just renaming "pushback" as bullying. Generally speaking the outcast kids lack the social standing and network that allows for bullying. And if you were hanging with the ones giving *them* shit (which by you choice of language it seems you did then and still hold those views) then they would be doing that to you when they get the chance

[@itsjustmaddisen]

At my high school there were popular jerks, but there were also popular people who were really nice. I remember in my senior year, my ancient history class found out I had stay at home for about two weeks (due to a chronic illness I’ve had since I was a little kid) and some of the popular nice kids actually gave me some cliff notes of what we were learning (I was getting the same book chapters, etc from my teacher) but some of my classmates actually wanted to help me out. They gave it to my friends to give to me and it was honestly the nicest thing someone has done for me. (My friends were doing practice essays with me and shared a lot of info as well) This was for the last and biggest test we had for that subject and I actually got a really good grade for it too:)

[@susanlayton2143]

Hear a child ask their parent "why do you hate me so much" is heartbreaking whether the child is an adult, a teen or a young child.

[@GDMendezWrites]

I call bullshit on everyone who says it's wrong for a spouse to openly disagree with their spouse in front of their kids when the spouse is LITERALLY harassing one of their kids. If his issues weren't fully resolved and worked through, he should have stayed in therapy, and he should have gone back to therapy when he started THINKING and ACKNOWLEDGING to his wife about his son reminding him of his bullies for literally nothing. If he didn't want to be called out on it, he should have worked on himself for his child. When you're a parent, your kid comes first and you do whatever you can to deal with other issues to care for your kid. I've been traumatized by bullies, too, but I don't automatically think of those who happen to have a few of the nontoxic personality traits in common with my old bullies as people who are also bullies.

[@TsukiKageTora]

He thinks his own son will turn out to be like his bullies because he is more sociable like they were. He became the bully to his own son and he deserves to be called out on it especially when he is literally thinking he stayed out 30 minutes later than normal to “beat some kids up”. He is being mentally abusive to his friend and OP is in no way wrong for standing up for their son who didn’t do anything wrong and still feels like his dad hated him

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

It’s good for the kid to see at least one parent is actively defending them, like a parent should. So I agree, OP had every right to ask wtf to his face in front of the kids.

[@ebagentj]

This. I was viciously bullied from grade school up through my graduation from high school, and I still have nightmares now despite being 36. I am in therapy, and I don't have children or plan to have them, but if I found myself seeing what I perceived were traits of my main bullies in my children, unless it was the seriously damaging stuff that needed to have a stop put to it, I would take my happy ass back to get even more therapy for the sake of my child. I feel for husband's past situation but that doesn't give him an excuse to take out his past trauma on his son just because he is more gregarious, outgoing, and popular and acts more like a "normal" teenager than he and his other children did. (My parents did the reverse, turning my outgoing and popular younger brother into the golden child and shorting me, the "weird one", so much my grandmother stepped in and did the lion's share of raising me.)

[@sagesaria]

This! I was like "oh, so it's okay for him to talk right in front of him about how horrible the things he might be doing out of sight are but it's not okay to call the husband out on his bullshit in front of him?"

[@JadedJada]

I agree. It's important for kids to know that they have someone supporting them. If the Mom had stayed quiet during the whole incident and then spoke to her husband privately, then it would seem to the child like there's no one on his side. At least that's how I felt when my parents did that. But you know.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "You suck for disagreeing with your spouse openly in front of the kids" No I feel like that was the right move. If Op only ever calls him out behind closed doors and never does it anywhere else then son is just going to think she condones it and may start to resent her as well. He needed to see that he wasn't crazy and the best way to do that was calling the dad out on his shit in front of them.

[@PowerControl]

That's what I wanted to say. Hiding problems in a family is toxic, especially if the affected person does not have any information why he is treated like that.

[@rubymeaddle]

That person is a knob, the disagreement was to protect the child.

[@desireeloveros1055]

Yea it no different than him calling his daughter a whore because she’s popular Like that’s a child There’s no need to be “United" when you’re being an asshole to a child

[@alg94]

can't agree more. my dad is verbally abusive and it took years for it to get through my moms head that because i never saw her defend me against him that to me it meant she cosigned his words. whenever we would get into a fight about it she would say "you don't know what goes on behind closed doors" and one day i snapped an said "exactly, i don't know what goes on behind closed doors. i have no idea if you ever defend me or if you agree with him"

[@WobblesandBean]

That's the Mommy Cult for you. You can't possibly expect anything approaching rational thought to come out of their heads.

[@low-keydrama1260]

Story 1: Dude literally became the very bullies he hated. He needed that harsh reality check. “Mom/Dad, why do you hate me, so much?” No child should ask their parent(s) that

[@gigglingchaos1795]

I'm sorry, if my son felt so hated by my spouse he asked him why "he hated him so much" I don't think I could have that spouse in in the same house as my kids until things were resolved or at least better. The mom should have stepped in soon.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

This, I would've told him not to come home until he stopped abusing our child. I can take a lot and will deal with it, but you leave me kids alone, hurting them is not okay. And there's a difference between smacking their fingers for trying to touch a freshly hot sheet of cookies from the oven and yelling at them about how they're horrible and basically saying you hate them without saying it outright.

[@AkiraAlexisSoyra]

But at least she stopped in at all because some parents don't even care about the children

[@dionysus_adores]

That man needed to be called out in front of his son to let him know someone is on his side

[@greed94]

Coulda, woulda, shoulda. What matters is that they're communicating and figuring out how to make things better.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA dude IS projecting his issues onto his son. He is bullying his son because his son RESEMBLES his bullies. His son hasn't done anything like what happened to him but is treating him as if he has. Dad needs therapy and to quit taking his issues out in his son. Edit after comments: I''m sorry but if he had been reasonable in the way he was going about it, then yes, wait, but he wasn't. He jumped down a 1 year-olds throat for getting home at *checks notes* 8:30...instead of 8. As it is that is a ridiculous curfew for a 17 year old but the fact that he also accused the kid of some horrible things just because he for home a half hour late and was jumping down his throat for essentially no reason means OP did the right thing. I'll say it again: you don't just let your unreasonable semi-abusive co-parent yell and scream at your child and then "bring it up later". You stop them as they are doing the unreasonable thing. You don't let them do things like that to your children. Bringing up his past MAY have been out of line but she isn't wrong for stopping his unreasonable parenting. Edit after update: in glad he is getting therapy.

[@cheskydivision]

Op calling out your hubby while he was abusing your son was the right thing to do.. why worry about his feeling while he is being abusive to his child.

[@awseven1144]

I have to say, especially regarding story 1, I HATE when Reddit is like “you shouldn’t have allowed your emotions to get the better of you” or “you should have been more calm” as if No one is EVER supposed to have an emotional reaction and just be a machine all the time. I think someone openly mistreating your child is the perfect time to become a little emotional personally.

[@damien678]

Really wish my mum defended me where I could actually see it, instead of her just letting abuse happen to me, contributing to it, and then apparently defending me in private. 🙃 Guess who has so much bitterness that they feel like it could be impossible to get over, now? Guess who still can't quite believe nor appreciate this supposed consequences that they never saw? Defend your kids where they can see it.

[@CanyonALynn]

Same here, man... my mom would "defend me/yell at my father" AFTER the damage was done when I locked myself in my room. Took years for me to learn to not tolerate BS.

[@backpug1228]

OMG THIS. "Of course you defended me in private, mum. After that ass beat half my face black and blue. Oh yeah. And you defended me sooo much, you let him stay with us without consequences, gaslighting me that I would destroy the family by simply asking for therapy for all of us, and letting him abuse me further, away from your view..."

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Father in story 1 has turned into a bully himself for the kid having friends and not being bullied, unlike him. Bullied people can easily turn into bullies seeing others have a happy life, and it's exactly what the dad has become. Divorce this man and get full custody of your son OP, he can easily tell the courts he wants to live only with you

[@joaolima7131]

Hey I know that it's upsetting but at least he is getting therapy, trauma can mess with your head. Not justifying what he did, but at least he is getting help. If he refused therapy, yeah, divorce should be on the table.

[@IndigoWhite]

I’m glad she yelled at him lmao. He deserved that for taking his trauma out on his child

[@justaboringvegetarian449]

"Don't disagree openly with your spouse in front of your kids." Lol. What? 😆 "Honey do you want pizza for dinner?" "Hmmm. No. I've been craving chicken since yesterday." Reddit: 😧 How could you?!?!

[@2ndbreakfast29]

Story one, when people say you should never openly disagree with their spouse, I think theyre full of hot air. You should tell someone who's wrong they aren't right regardless of marital status. When you are kid and get treated like garbage by a parent and the other never stands up for you or only disagrees quietly they look very complicit in the abuse. So I think she's perfectly in the right showing solidarity with her kid.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Plus if you want to hold up our kids accountable then the parents need to help accountable as well

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

Normally I'd say you keep disagreements away from the kids just like that ESH vote, but if the OP's husband was yelling at their son, how precisely could he be got to stop other than the OP calling him out?

[@somerandoonyt9553]

Calmly asking the kid to go to his room, then sitting down and talking to eachother, explain why the husband feels that way, point out why you think he's wrong, then go to the child and tell him that his mother pointed out and showed him what he did was wrong, and apologize. But I am concerned about how OP seems to brush off the sons behavior in the past. I get a real "boys will be boys" vibe from the mother. "The worst thing he's done is underage drinking and skipping school.. normal teenage things" where I live, those are actually pretty bad. If the son gets in legal trouble for those actions enough times, CPS and police get involved. And the kids I knew when I was a teenager, that behavior was a very small minority of kids. And the ones that did that type of stuff, often were the ones that also bullied. But that being common or uncommon may largely vary from location to location. Also, how often does the son break the rules, and the mom rugsweeps it when the dads wants to discipline? OP mentions that the son gets into a lot of trouble, but if this is common behavior, and he goes without punishment, he's only going to continue, and it may escalate. Growing up, being home 30 minutes late was a big no no. 5 minutes, sure, it took a little longer than expected, and I was still learning time management, but 30?

[@ginathecookie]

This

[@TriXJester]

Story 2: Once again proving that open communication is a good thing.

[@Streetwisefirst]

Story 2: Glad that OP sat down to communicate his problems with his wife. Just goes to show what issues can happen with poor communication. They would not have been in this boat if either or both had spoken up sooner.

[@ginathecookie]

Agreed, so much.

[@benry007]

Communication is the toughest thing to sort in a marraige (at least in my experience). Took me and my wife a good year to start communicating effectively and we had been dating for about 2 years before.

[@GMAMEC]

Yes, I hope things work out.

[@lynnw7155]

I can't wrap my head around Americans in an arranged marriage. Not knowing if your spouse loves you or if they are just going through the motions sucks. Thrown into a marriage with a lack of communication and honesty.

[@TheFoodGuideOfL]

Story 2's update is so adorable 🥺 I hope things keep improving for them. Thanks for another great video, Mark!

[@WolframKKM]

Story 1: There's a difference between airing out all your dirty laundry in front of your kids, like marital problems, addiction or financial strain, and standing up to your spouse when they're actively terrorizing one of your kids. So no, OP was not wrong for calling out her husband in front of her son - her son needed to know he was loved and supported by at least one of his parents right that very moment.

[@jamestown8398]

That ETA reply to the first story is wrong, and the person who said it sucks for saying it. "Never disagree with your spouse in front of the kids" is terrible advice. If OP followed it in this instance then Jordan would have believed she supported husband's shitty treatment of him and it would have turned him against both his parents.

[@ginathecookie]

Yes. Whilst i do agree with OP maybe bringing it up should have been with more sensitivity.. I think OP ultimately handled it best she could at the time and Jordan needed to have at least ONE parent on his side.

[@LadyGoddessSephiroth]

Yes he should have been called out in front of the kid. Wrong is wrong, and this is wrong. This kid needs to know at least ONE person is on his side and is looking out for him. If I were OP, I'd be like "Stay at your brother's until you get your shit together."

[@gibgabs2899]

I call bullshit on the ESH comment. If she disagrees, she disagrees. Especially when it’s fair to. Also the kids seem to know about the shit he’s been through and know that he’s being unfair so whatever, he needs to realize the pain he’s causing for something he shouldn’t have stopped his therapy for

[@saratronus]

I know I hated that comment the mother had all the right to disagree with the husband in front of their kids to defend their child I'm his verbal abuse I wish my mother had done that

[@Metal_Mouth]

Yes, exactly. The ESH should've been for op for enabling his behavior, not for enabling it EVEN MORE. He was being abusive and used his own son as an emotional punching bag and she did nothing about it. And apologized- like what??

[@cl5470]

Reddit really hates mothers, probably since most redditors still live at home with their moms and resent having to follow rules.

[@D-D-Gaming]

Aw that last story. At the end of the day, communication is key! Be open and honest about your feelings instead of making assumptions!

[@savageinkstudios2969]

1: NTA, the husband is being a bully. He has become the thing he hates most, and the son deserves better in his life.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Story 1: "You suck for disagreeing with your spouse openly in front of the kids" *Bullshit* You call out bullies when you see them being bullies, and that includes your spouse if _they're_ being a bully. Story 2: Arranged marriages aren't for everyone, true. While I am not interested (ace-aro), when done right, it's not really any different than matchmaking a couple of friends who you think would work well together as a couple. OP and his wife, when they first met, should have tried to date each other since the point of dating is to get to know one another. Even being married, it's good for couples to keep dating each other. So, in OP's case, it's like they got the general relationship timeline a wee bit screwed up - he started courting her _after_ they got married and they only just started dating. Communication, communication, communication! It's how you keep your relationships alive. Hopefully things will work out well between them.

[@Rukiah1]

Story 2: I'm glad that worked out. That's an unusual situation but people make weirder work so hopefully they'll be happy.

[@allisonharris1319]

So I was bullied all my life over everything, but I could never project that onto my kids only thing I will do is letting them know that bullying is not okay and will not be tolerated which should happen in every household not project your past onto your kids

[@stephanien6237]

What if you thought or found out that your kid was bullying someone? What would you do if he/she did someone you don’t tolerate? Honestly asking

[@idkhithere6860]

@@stephanien6237 ngl I probably would've lost my shit and ground them for a whole year

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Story 2 is so freaking sad. I feel so bad for both of them but especially OP. Having to have sex with someone you're really into while they just tolerate it must be horrible. Personally I'm confused as to why they were having sex at all in this situation. It sounds as if it's unbearable for both parties and it make me so sad that they let themselves be pressured into this situation by their families.

[@beingWantable]

You probably wrote it before the ending, but they did end up having feelings for each other. Also lots of people just have sex if the other partner is attractive enough, so not too strange. But I agree if you think it's onesided (which both of them thought) it must feel awful somehow.

[@shannond1511]

It's awful how much bullying can effect someone, even for life.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: NTA, husband is continuing the cycle of harassment.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Aranged marriage: I would have advised 'moving' into the guest room and 'dating' until your relationship progressed. After an open and honest discussion about what everybody's feelings were. Glad everything worked out, and sending them my best wishes!

[@galaxywanderer5508]

The second story was so cute. At first I was going to say they should absolutely divorce but it turned out so well.

[@ian7064]

Update 2: I came home from work and found that Jordan had taken my husband's lunch money and gave him a wedgie

[@AlexanderMarchesaine]

My children over any spouse. If my kid believed his father hated him, that father could no longer live with me. I understand his trauma to be deep, but in no way is trauma a reason for bad behaviors. That man was projecting onto his own son, who was simply different than he. To claim such a thing about your own kid is a treachery to the family. And traitors must be expelled from the family.

[@joaolima7131]

Traitor is a bit much, yeah what he did was wrong but he recognized it and is getting help, the first step to change is to recognize you have a problem and be willing to get help. What he was doing wasn't coming from malice but from trauma. Ofc I'm not justifying what he did.

[@Gungepup]

I wish we'd have gotten a bit more direct information in story 1 about WHY the husband is seeing his bullies in his son. It feels like something that's really important to know. OP didn't specify that the son was actually bullying other kids, but she also didn't specify that he was NOT bullying other kids. She just talked briefly about the small ways he "gets in trouble", and any of us who went to school know that bullies usually don't get in any trouble for what they do (though the bullied party will almost always get in trouble the moment they stand up for themselves). Certainly not trying to say that I think this is happening here; I would just love to know more about the cause for it. I think it would help shed some more light on what's going on in the husband's mind and help us understand the background better. Either way, I'm really glad they're finding ways to work on it, though!

[@kayq3231]

Kids who are being bullied by a family member need to see other family members stand up for them against the bully.

[@deijix]

The last story was so wholesome at the end omg. Really shows the importance of communication and being emotionally open with your partner.

[@hw7265]

Story 1: The husband sounds like he has some case of PTSD. The trauma has affected his judgment. Telling people to “get over it” is not the right strategy.

[@CarrieVogel77]

First story: The husband is now bullying his son. What a coward.

[@marshmello3455]

Story 2: relationships require communication. You've got to be willing to discuss your issues to make things work. Both OP and wife were hard core failing at communicating their needs and wants to each other. I hope they take this lesson into their future dealings. Maybe they can be successful long term if they do.

[@hollowolfpup9958]

Story 1: As someone who has been through grievous, traumatic bullying, the father has absolutely no excuse, and I'm disgusted actually.

[@Aziara86]

Story 2 would make an adorable rom com. They *both* caught feelings but assumed the other didn't. I'm glad it worked out for them.

[@judithhansford4629]

Parents past trauma shouldn't trigger such responses. Husband needs to work on this himself, but I do sympathize with it. My husband and I both were bullied until we became the aggressive ones. We didn't want this for our daughter and was surprised how fast I could get mad if she'd get bullied in school but I had to separate my experience from hers.

[@muhname6052]

First story: the ESH: OP isn't an AH for calling her husband out in his BS.

[@BankruptMonkey]

The update on story one where the dad was emotionally abusive to his child for the crime of having a lot of friends was disappointing. The mom is celebrating that her sin doesn't hang out with his friends as much and is desperately trying to bond with his parents now, that means the emotional abuse has hurt him so much he's trying to abandon who he is out of desperation for his dad to stop hating him. This was a sad ending and only the dad got help at all, not the literal child he emotionally abused.

[@paden1865able]

You can openly disagree with your spouse in front of the kids so long as you remain calm and civil. You take it behind closed doors when it begins to get heated. Children can learn a lot about behaving rationally by observing their parents acting calmly during a disagreement.

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 1 - Husband is the one being the bully because he's the one in power due to being the adult.

[@CygnusPrime]

*Story 2* is the plot of a very popular Bollywood Hindi movie right down the anniversary dinner and her finding the torn card in the trash afterward.

[@sdathomas5088]

Understand this, everyone: you are not a therapist. You are not a psychologist. If your partner, child, parent, friend, coworker, or whatever need help for their mental health, that is not your job. Your love will not heal them. Do not set yourself on fire to keep them warm. Instead, encourage them to talk to people who are actually trained to help. You can support them in that.

[@CleopatraDK]

Story 1: The dad is using his son as an emotional punching bag for his past trauma. I've went through bullying that kept escalating to the point where it almost cost me my life one time. It sticks with you and you deeply crave justice for all the hurt you've been through. But what the dad is doing is terrible! He's punishing his own child for his bullies crimes and that is just next level f'd up. He needs to talk about this with a therapist.

[@peachesnsht]

2nd story: If they don't work as a couple, I hope they remain friends c: Still, I root for them, both sound lovely 💕

[@elenaalejandra1372]

Obviously, everyone has already said what there is to say about the first story.. but I'm actually very annoyed by one of the comments. I think OP did precisely the right thing in standing up for her son IN FRONT OF HIM. I would have given anything as a teenager to have someone support me in front of me. Think of it this way; all the son was seeing was his father bullying him. Even if his mum supported him privately, he may always have had doubts about whether she actually told the dad off privately, especially if the dad's behaviour never improved. Children need to see that their parents have their back. I'm speaking from personal experience here, and have lasting trust issues due to precisely this.

[@brigidtheirish]

It's "hard for him to think about?" He's *obviously* thinking about it *all the time.* He's using his *son* to 'get back' at his high school bullies. He's immature and has become *worse* that those bullies because he's harassing someone less than half his age *and* who depends on him for guidance and security.

[@jameymoore2822]

The dad had become the bullies he claims to hate the mom needs to get in touch with his old bullies to come bye and give him a smack down to remind him how tough he really is

[@MistySophie]

I love the relationship subreddit because the stories are more complex and not so one sided like in the amitheasshole

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 2: hunny thats not abuse or love bombing. love bombing is when abuse happened already. like what you did was standard husband that cares and loves his wife. you did nothing wrong.

[@rpickhardt3531]

Love bombing is not something that only happens after abuse - not sure who told you that but it's inaccurate. People often love bomb before the abuse in order to draw in the victim.

[@hananahbananah]

Oh god story 1 reminded me of my own little brother who got picked on by our dad. Same classic projecting his own issues bullshit. I was a shy socially awkward teen but I straight up got into arguments with him because I could see my bro’s self-esteem dwindling. This shit is NEVER okay. Most boys seek approval from their father or other male role models so it’s especially painful. 😢

[@madisonl3401]

Have a wonderful weekend Mark and Poppy! Hope you guys are doing well. Cheers!

[@KariahBengalii]

Not me actually tearing up thinking about what story 2 op's wife must have been thinking when she went downstairs and realized what day it was. Glad they were able to work it out in the end

[@susanminer2088]

I loved that they worked through it instead of not talking and never knowing how good it could have been. Hooray for communication!!

[@wierdgamer3067]

The second story was the sweetest one I've ever heard. Like a weird hallmark movie

[@TsukiKageTora]

It’s sad he became exactly like his bullies were to him… to his own son

[@bluebeanie561]

Story 1: So the father hates bullying yet he's doing the same thing to his son but he doesn't see that way because he's a parent. Someone needs to tell him projecting is another form of bullying.

[@dethkruzer]

Awww, that update on the second story.

[@Michelle_56]

I literally cheered at the update for story 2 🙌🏻🎉🥳

[@clarrie93]

Story 2 sounds like all the plot of a "contract/arranged marriage" romance novel lol -"This is just a relationship/marriage out of convenience/arrangement/contract, not out of love" -insert montages of clearly romantic actions and both falling for each other, stolen glances while the other not looking -Insert worries about "i'm being stupid. she/he/they doesn't feel the same" * -Insert misunderstanding and one party running away* -Clarity from outside sources and they came back to talk* -realised that they are both actually in love with each other and now are happily ever after

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

A husband's love for his wife is stronger than a bf's love for his gf? That's fucked up

[@sltslt24]

You should always disagree with your spouse in front of your childern when your spouse is attacking your child. People need to stop trying to protect their spouse feelings over the literal child that is being harrassed by their parent. Her standing up for her son in front of him not only showed her son he can trust her but her husband that she's not going to let him attack any of her kids.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark. Stay safe please. PEACE

[@jeanproctor3663]

I felt awful for the poor lad in the first story. It really must have genuinely felt to him as though his Dad hated him. His Dad was totally in the wrong there, but I'm so pleased they're trying to get everything worked out now. Story 2, well I can't speak from the PoV of someone in an arranged marriage as I've never been there, but again, I'm so pleased they had their heart-to-heart and came to a resolution. It must be really difficult being expected to marry someone that is chosen for you and that you don't know that well when you marry them. I wish everyone in both stories all the luck and happiness. You wanted to know what we've been doing as we listened, Mark? I've been doing my nails. 💅💅

[@jackandgrey]

Husband has become the bully. How sad. He needs serious help.

[@persephoneszeliga]

Story 1: NTA. Husband needs therapy PRONTO. Ironically, the husband has become the bully to his son.

[@jessiejeanne9717]

I got weirded out when he talked about how bad the sex was. I just assumed if 1 of the pair wasn't down, it wasn't happening. I was married to someone I grew to despise. In order to fulfill martial duties I had to be effed up. I called it quits when that no longer worked. Dear men who like younger women: when they grow up as you remain the same, don't be shocked when she leaves or cheats. It's called "grooming" for a reason.

[@jacquelinewithac8668]

Listening from spring break in Cancún! Getting some sun on the beach while listening to mark is a fantastic way to spend my vacay

[@squeakybb]

You earn respect through actions, like how you earn trust and loyalty. You will never earn another persons respect through abuse and fear. Only resentment.

[@jayriese9571]

I’m a recent sub. I’m going through some stuff and I find listening to you so calming- you exude warmth. I lost my parents too and I’ve taken your advice. Anyway, I’m glad I stumbled onto your channel. Hugs from Texas USA.

[@claudeyaz]

That 2nd story is about 70% of the Chinese comics I've seen bahahaha. Idk if it is real. But seriously. That is such a common comic plot

[@brycekline982]

Story 1 The moment he asked his dad why do you hate me so much should have been the punch in the gut Dad needed to realize he was The bully and the a$$hole

[@NinjaTribble]

Just found your channel and I absolutely cannot stop listening! I work overnight and your videos keep me company and keep me entertained while I get through my shift! All the work and time you put into these videos makes them even more amazing? I hope you're having a great day/evening!

[@june7343]

That last one was straight up from a ff so cute

[@oakenshadow6763]

He is bullying his own kid for being an extroverte. Not okay.

[@random02735]

Im putting together a puzzle while listening to your videos. It's also a great distraction from my real life problems and gave me a time to calm down.

[@maryann3820]

I'm glad that last story worked out.

[@colleencook382]

Mark, if I ever get my dream car (1969 Mustang, baby blue ,white leather interior) I would be honored to have you hop "across the pond" and go driving down some mountain roads!

[@AmberSong]

I usually listen to your videos at work with an earbud hidden under my hair. It also helps direct my ADHD when I need to sleep. I hope it's not too creepy to say I fall asleep, listening to you Mark. Lol

[@collinfulling3223]

First story the husband isn’t a bully: he’s an abuser

[@Kstanimal]

Ty mark ❤️ omg that last story was SO CUTE

[@Citizenesse8]

Because my husband pressed and continue to berate my son unnecessarily you better believe I would step in in front of the kids and him because he wasn't listening. If he was crushing the soul out of my baby just like those bullies crushed the soul out of him I wouldn't let that stand.

[@strudel_reviews]

The update on story 2 made me cry

[@AndyyWithAY]

It's not b quite the same, but my brother and I had a bit of a dicey relationship. He's in his early 20s and I am 30. I thought he was a moody and difficult person. Last summer we had some pretty big disagreements and I just sat him down and we had a heart to heart. We both had misconceptions about the other one, and by talking it out we now have a much better relationship. Hope the family in story 1 can do the same.

[@WobblesandBean]

The fact that your husband was reluctant to start therapy really says it all. Don't be surprised if he stops going, or goes once or twice and then claims he's ok now and doesn't need it anymore. Children shouldn't have to go to therapy because of men who won't.

[@joaolima7131]

If he stops, then yeah OP should consider divorce if he doesn't change, but I guess we should give him the benefit of the doubt, for now.

[@lacewinglml]

I actually was in an arranged marriage, but it had been a long engagement and we had been given an out for my 18th birthday. So we had alot of time to just be friends, then boyfriend/girlfriend. It actually had been really great. Especially as it allowed us to just be friends with other people without the pressure people like to put on young people to be dating or whatever. But yeah, my situation was very much not this one. (My fave thing though was how people would be like "arranged marriage? omg how horrible you need to get out of that asap!" then my fiance walks into the room the absolute 10 he was and it was a very different tune when they saw how doting he was and that the two of us where very close. ) He passed away from leukemia before we could be married, but I still wouldn't change that part of my life for anything.

[@stephanien6237]

I’m sorry, but can you clarify if the long time to just be friends was before your 18th birthday? It sounds like you were arranged to be married as children and given an out (to decide not to get married) your 18th birthday. Yes?

[@stephanien6237]

And I am so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great guy.

[@lacewinglml]

@@stephanien6237 I was 13 when we where engaged. so got to spend most my school days going "yeah, engaged, not interested in dating" it was actually pretty nice. And yes, he was a sweet guy who loved his family and dog.

[@fyoutube9410]

Ugh, people like that last couple are so fing exhausting, so much drama from not speaking your mind 🙄

[@Nerdificent]

Those who don't heal from what hurt them will bleed on those who didn't cut them. I'm not sure who that quote is from. I was bullied during middle and high school, and I can say part of it never leaves you. If he's assuming his son is a bully with no concrete evidence, he needs to go back to therapy.

[@libertyblake873]

Story 1: it sounds like the trauma the father was subjected to was more than words and/or beatings. There are things that males can do to other males that the victims don't tell anyone about. That cause trauma to last forever. Those who calling the father an AH only know what his wife has said, and she may not know the entire story.

[@terrysyvertson9205]

in story 1 op NEEDS to give her husband an ultimatum, either he goes back to getting counseling or op divorces his ass, and because op's husband quit going to counseling after they got married, he's most likely going to end up choosing divorce and it sounds like the husband would file for divorce instead of op

[@MizTameRumors]

First OP, the dude needs therapy or he needs to leave. He can't bully his own child because he's projecting his high school years onto him.

[@novabrilliant4510]

Getting ready to go ride my bike. Hope everyone is enjoying their day 😊

[@jeanipin3430]

2..I think it turned out well, such a sweet story, I really hope they will end with a long, happy, loving relationship and life 🤗

[@WillTw12]

I NEED to know where to find the outro music

[@enjolireyes643]

EXACTLY!! I been trying to find it for the last week and it’s stuck in my head so bad!

[@PrincessLioness]

Same