I Cremated My Late Husband Against His Families Wishes

[@Pumpkin_Kisses]

I’m sorry...how is a trampoline park, a water park and an arcade not inclusive enough for an 8 or 9 year old? At those ages that was the only way to get me out of the house outside of school! That and the book store ;-)

[@aimee4424]

Maybe they where very overprotective and where afraid of the kids getting hurt, that’s quite damaging to those kids though, my mum is kind of a helicopter mum and it’s made me very cautious

[@mlapointej]

But those things are done a bone in the same vague space and not together sarcastic whiny voice

[@fireofdawn3515]

BOOKS DRAW ME FROM MY CAVE OF DOOM

[@t.matthies3049]

Even at 4 or 5, when the dad and stepmom got married, a lot of those places would have options for them, so even when they were younger, those excuses are absurd. It would be one thing if it was actually split between kids, but when no compromises are made for the oldest kid, it's not fair. It could be they have limited funds for activities, but in that case, they should be putting the limited budget to buying board games and such that could be enjoyed by everyone.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Agreed, I started going to Kalahari when I was like 8yrs old, I love it. Water parks are the best. Edit: I'm 22yrs old now and I still like the park too though lol

[@SorenPenrose]

i was a teenager who got dragged around doing shit I hated under the guise of "family time." That's one of many reasons I no longer talk with my family. Also, chef here: I'd absolutely adore my child wanting to help in the kitchen. I would encourage that and teach her and foster that skill. That husband is an ass.

[@Acidfunkish]

That's a skill EVERY SINGLE PERSON should have!

[@SorenPenrose]

@@F40PH-2CAT “That’s _one of many reasons_ I no longer talk with my family.”

[@unkemptjargon91]

My brother is a professional chef and you should see his eyes when his daughter shows interest in cooking. You've never seen a grown man so childishly happy. I don't get that guy at all.

[@justkittensbeingkittens5892]

It’s adorable when kids get so excited doing “grownup things” I volunteered at a summer camp(3 years until covid) that was focused around animals. One of the activities was making dog biscuits and the kids got so excited about it. Sure, it was messier and took longer but what’s a little mess to some kid’s happiness?

[@josephfarr1649]

My nephew loved helping my mom cook and bake. He even made a suggestion on adding a veggie to a dish and it would taste good. Took my mom off guard lol

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

I think it's great that she wants to teach her daughter how to cook and just because her husband is a pro chef doesn't give him the right to tell his wife how to cook food and the daughter needs to learn to cook in the future it's a necessary skill for the daughter to have when she's grown and moved out and an adult because daddy the chef isn't gonna be around forever.

[@audreym3908]

@@josephfarr1649 Was it tasty though?

[@josephfarr1649]

@@audreym3908 yes it was

[@HartDoug]

When I saw the title, I also had to wonder who was the AH here... It’s NOT OP! Cremation was OP’s husband’s Wish! He wanted this!

[@invictrus]

But the title doesn't say anything about the husband's wishes, only the family's. That information wasn't revealed until the actual story, not in the title...

[@HartDoug]

@@invictrus, That’s true... which is why I ‘forced myself’ to listen before commenting... I do feel sympathy for the parents and extended family but OP says it was her husband’s wish to be cremated... If she was ‘just following his wishes’, I cannot in good conscience call her the AH in this story. His family? No, not them either... it’s just sad all the way around...

[@indigoflamez5415]

@@invictrus jjnn

[@CocoCece08]

Right? My mom wanted to br cremated. My family refused. I was her next of kin (daughter over them), and I won. I actually told them that if we went to court, I'd win 100%.

[@fireofdawn3515]

@@CocoCece08 you would

[@goddessmelanisia]

His final wishes are between him and his widow. I did the same. My late husband didn't want his ashes divided up, but his mother insisted. After she opened the urn at the memorial (it was actually empty, because his ashes didn't come back in time), I had the funeral director weld the urn shut. I watched him do it (JB weld). So glad the funeral director was a family friend, whose younger sister was in the same class as my older sister. He was great through the whole thing, and would steer people away from me when I looked overwhelmed. I was focused on making sure everyone else was okay, and it was nice to have one person looking out for me.

[@epicXtrollface]

My condolences. I'm glad to know his final wishes were fulffilled. Although I do understand where the mother is coming from, if your husband wanted something different, his final word counts. Stay strong.

[@Tim85-y2q]

Even if he hadn't made his wishes known, the person(s) who are the legal next of kin get to make those decisions and the bottom line is nobody else really has anything to say about it. If people want to be mad/upset about it, fine, but it is what it is.

[@fireofdawn3515]

We love Funeral Directors and others in the industry who do these things. I’m so sorry for your loss

[@CreepyBlueAnimals84]

Holy crap that last comment was flawless and incredibly spot on!! I wish I was that good at getting my words out, but alas, words not me so good.

[@paytonhenrich7376]

both my very catholic grandparents were cremated. and they had been catholics since long before the church lifted the ban on cremation. i've never once heard that cremating a body damns the soul to hell i think the parents were struggling with his lack of religion and decided to scapegoat his widow because that was easier.

[@missing_name]

Honestly I agree with your last statement. Op also said that the parents didn’t believe that their son would die so soon. A sad situation really.

[@sciencenerd218]

Both my mom and dad were cremated and not once did I learn or hear about that while Catholic during masses, Youth group or mid week CCD classes (former catholic) and the in his will (if husband made one and presumably so) he wanted this and she followed his wishes. OP is definitely NTA

[@marshmello3455]

My super Catholic grandmother (the type who said the Rosery at least once a day) was cremated and then buried because she was terrified of being buried alive (she was also super dead, but we followed her wishes because why wouldn't you?). Also, I've been to far too many funerals for non religious people whose asshole families used the occasion as an excuse to proselytize. It's gross and hurtful when folks lie about the dead person to sell a religion that person adamantly did not believe in.

[@TheMimiSard]

Not catholic myself, but Mum had an issue with cremation in the past. She got over it by remembering that God is omnipotent, and scattered ashes are not going to stop Him claiming a righteous soul. Mum now has info about a company in our area that does cremation sans funeral at low cost. The only money we are going to have to deal with her body after she is gone is her funeral insurance.

[@tobyroad]

Wait in one story, we are told that funerals are for the living, and in the next story that we should respect the deceased wishes. I think the wife should've respected the parents wishes. He was gone and doesn't know what happened to his remains anyway, while it's causing his family deep grief and torture.

[@BiteSizedCrafter]

Her telling him “No daddy, we do dinner. Don’t be nasty.” Omg I bet that little sassy girl was so cute!! ahhh! I love that! Future sass queen! ❤️

[@greenwren5072]

Catholics don't even have that rule anymore. That's a very old-school belief like mid-20th century. If Jesus can resurrect dead people, he can resurrect ashes too. Just saw the comment that said the same. Anyway the wishes of the deceased is what's important.

[@IKKclauKR]

I'm catholic and I didn't knew that was a thing; heck, most of my family is catholic (on both sides) and there has been a lot of cremations in my family

[@juliemcgugan1244]

There is a catholic cemetery near where my Grandparents used to live and they still have the rule that your remains cannot be interred there, if you have been cremated. But very unusual for this day and age and for the area (only one to have this rule.) I suppose there are still small pockets who resist change.

[@isabellecasier5702]

It was your husband wishes, they are the only one that counts. His parents have no say in it, you are the widow so you decide. Being catholic is not an excuse, here there are messes for as wel the burried ir cremation funeral. The concept of heaven and hell is about your life and how you lived it, not about your funeral.

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

My cousin on the catholic side of my family was cremated

[@babybookworm003]

My grandma was a devout Catholic and was cremated and put in a nieche in a Catholic cemetery so you’re right

[@missmax2492]

STORY TWO, NTA. Trampolines and arcades and water parks are too big for 9-year-olds???? Even back when I was 12 and my little sister was 7 and we were at school and trampoline time was available, the only caveat was that she couldn't be in at the same time as myself and my friends. Soooo, we would still bond over doing that anyways. What's the point of doing something as a family if everyone isn't having some measure of fun? When my family went to a water park area in a hotel for the first time, even though I wasn't as hyped, I was able to have genuine fun with her. How on earth is OP supposed to even like the kids at this point if the parents refuse to respect them?

[@renoloverxoxo]

Honestly it sounds like a cost thing. Most of what the little kids wanted to do was either free or relatively inexpensive for small children.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Right! I got my first trampoline when I was 5-6yrs old and played with cousin my age, younger and much much older on it. It's not a big deal

[@samalvarez8776]

I think the parents mean "free"

[@chewiejew3788]

Story 4: as a chef, you would think that he would be a doting father. If I were him, I would be taking photos and sending them to family and being like "daddy's little chef" or "we may have a future chef in the family." I know it's cheesy, but I would be heckin' proud.

[@fireofdawn3515]

I know I’d be doing that- if I was a chef and my kid shows interest I would be so annoying. Aka: LOOK AT MY CHILD DOING THIS. LOOK AT THEM THEY ARE AMAZING. I MADE THIS LITTLE THING AND THEYRE GREAT

[@chewiejew3788]

@@fireofdawn3515 Same!

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Same here! OP's husband sucks, and I hope she divorces his ass.

[@Rose_Bride]

I _LOVE_ OP's little daughter's reaction to "chef dad" in the last story. Telling dad "Don't be nasty", and the way OP describes the little girl as being"happy" upon hearing that her dad left. Clearly even this little 3 year old finds dad's presence to be oppressive and negative. It's ridiculous that this supposed grown man called his brothers and parents to tattle on his wife and make her "listen" to him. Like, seriously??

[@adrianaunderworld2880]

The parents think arcades, water parks, and trampolines are not for 8/9 year olds? Those are fantastic places for kids! My brother and cousins have been going to those kinds of places since they were in diapers. If anything it sounds a bit like they're babying the little kids if they only ever take them to playgrounds and none of these other cool places. I've never known a kid to turn down a waterpark or chuckie cheese. At first I thought it was about the money, but they went to the aquarium for the play area and nothing else. So I dont think that's the issue, it just feels like they're making excuses.

[@videofan1010]

I was just thinking the trampoline park would be bomb. I'm 32 😂

[@adrianaunderworld2880]

@@videofan1010 I'm wondering if they even asked the kids if any of that sounded good. I think the parents just want to sit and let the kids run free rather than go to a place like the water park where they have to pay more attention. After all, they aren't playing with the kids on the playground,they're just chillin on the bench. I dont think this has much to do with bonding at all.

[@fionamasters1822]

We have a place where I live that's mini golf, an arcade, and a water park all in one and I loved it as a kid. What the EFF is wrong with this family saying the younger ones would find something like that boring.

[@adrianaunderworld2880]

@@fionamasters1822 I was only a couple years older than these kids when my mom would take me go carting, so I dont know what these parents are on. I'm just convinced they want to do the bare minimum with taking the kids out.

[@MsAnpassad]

I dated a chef, he couldn't stand that I was a better cook than him and were telling me things like "You are doing this wrong, I couldn't possibly serve this", but my guests absolutely love my cooking, more than his. That relationship didn't last long. Unfortunatly, there are still a lot of men that can't stand women being better than them, hopefully that will disappear into historical times where that kind of attitudes belong.

[@gibgabs2899]

Working in the kitchen is so much fun, it’s ridiculous people try and make it into such a stupid competition

[@philwill0123]

Not necessarily a man v woman thing, more a "im trained, this is how a professional is taught to do it" attitude.

[@Undomaranel]

@@philwill0123 Yup, an ego trip, though I wouldn't be surprised if sexism was a factor in the jealousy.

[@thehoogard]

@@Undomaranel People need to stop bringing sexism into every dispute that involves 2 people of the opposite gender. Unless they say something explicitly sexists there's not reason to assume anything more than that the person is just an asshole.

[@locusxe1411]

I don’t think it was the fact that you were a woman. Mostly women cook better than men. It’s most likely just the fact that he has a job in it and is good at it. I really don’t think it has anything to do with gender. Unless he said something like “ your a girl so I’m better than you at cooking.

[@Tammohawk1]

1st Story: NTA As far as I'm concerned, Dad can stay home too if that's the way he feels. Why does the stepmom have to be there? There is no good reason at all for this nonsense. 2nd Story: NTA But those parents suck. My kids are almost 5 years apart and yet we managed to find stuff to do for the entire family that we all enjoyed. Also, we listened to our kids. Imagine that. 3rd Story: NTA I lost my husband suddenly a little over 11 months ago. He wanted to be cremated, I didn't want that for him. But, I had him cremated and gave him the funeral he wanted. A military funeral with all of the trimmings. He got it. One should always do what the loved one wanted. $t Story: NTA Kids love to help out around the house. It encourages them when you let them. Both of my sons can cook, from scratch. And bake, from scratch. Nothing the matter with it. My nieces and one of my nephews used to follow me around in the garden when I would be gardening. Most of them love to garden now as adults. Because I let them help me when they were little.

[@fireofdawn3515]

I’m sorry for your loss, my step dad died in July, in one year he gets the Military send off with the headstone placement. He was cremated and buried in a hand made box by my mother and I

[@audreym3908]

I'm sorry for your loss. What kind of garden do you have and they have?

[@justinjones-smith5168]

Story 2: NTA. What's fun for them isn't fun for you.

[@thenecroticraptor8338]

I don't know why, but every time you mini-gush about your niece(s) and nephew(s), it just makes me so inexplicably happy. You just seem like such a genuinely sweet, softhearted guy, which I can respect. Loving your content, man!

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

The don't drop urns into the ocean, they open the urn and empty the ashes in to the ocean; thus it's called"spreading the ashes". "ASHES to ashes dust to dust." What's obscene, is charging $10,000 for a casket to guilt trip family members at their most vulnerable and lowest point in their life.

[@Nortarachanges]

That part!

[@15oClock]

1. Don't bring someone who hated the deceased to the funeral. That's just begging for drama, which mixes violently with grief. 2. Family Time here is about having fun with the family, but OP's never had fun. This "inclusivity" has fallen at the first hurtle, hasn't it? 3. I have a specific way I want to be buried and I’d haunt whoever disobeyed that. The Catholicism is a front for the parents' disappointment. 4. You need to learn cooking young because it'll be harder later on. What's this husband and his family's petty, tiny penis problem?

[@locusxe1411]

I don’t agree with the “it’s harder later on” part. It’s really not

[@selimkarayl7823]

I disagree with the last one. You'll need practice but it's not that hard, especially compare to let's say programming or learning a new language. Also how did you manage to come to conclusion of "OP's husband done something weird = tiny penis"? If you don't have something to say, silence is a good option. Also I'm not sure why OP's husband done that but I know no matter men or women chefs can be c*nts when it comes to cooking. Especially if it's their kitchen.

[@missluciddreams3472]

I agree...I had to learn to cook at an older age because my mom couldn't b bothered...teach them when they r young...

[@charlottemunday7311]

... i learnt to cook at 24, wasn't that hard, just read instructions carefully and keep track of time

[@15oClock]

@@charlottemunday7311 Some people will still find it difficult to even be properly motivated. You were motivated, but your parents probably should've taught you it much sooner.

[@rebecca4606]

I haven't seen your vids in ages I'm. glad I found my way back to your channel :)

[@TNTMAN360]

Hit the Bell notification you won't regret it

[@heathermiller5765]

Welcome back 😊

[@stellac3994]

Ayy! Welcome back!!

[@RokoFireFox]

Trampoline parks aren't for 8/9 years olds? Better tell my 6 and 8 year old nieces they can't go to the trampoline parks anymore.

[@philwill0123]

More this park is separated by ages. OPs parents are being lazy.

[@hopetirendi2386]

My 2/4/11 grandkids go all the time and love it!

[@jinxgiz3104]

Story 3: NTA. As much as funerals are for the living, what happens to the body should always be what the deceased said they wanted when they were alive, that's why it's so important to have these conversations while you're alive so you don't end up having loved ones disagreeing over what happens to your body.

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

When my grandmother died (Catholic), we had a pretty simple cremation, the priest said a few words (I thought he was speaking Latin, turned out no, he had a heavy Irish accent and a drinking problem..), and her ashes were scattered in a rose garden. I highly doubt a priest, even one who "isn't quite what he used to be.." as one of the staff told us, would have agreed to officiate at a wedding that was nigh-on sacrilege.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

Story two was one of the most difficult and sometimes heartbreaking balances I strove to reach when I was a Teen Services Librarian. I KNEW that if I timed teen activities wrong and they occurred at the same time as kids programming, parents would drag their teens to kids/family events, not let the teens attend their own programming alone, and then I have minimal participation and a disenfranchised service population. On the flip side, younger kids are rarely forced to leave the house for their teen siblings' activities unless they can be forced on the teen programs (usually ones based around food) and become the main participants. I feel for that young lady.

[@miaikonteras4006]

2nd story: OP's parents need to try more. My brother and me are 5 years apart in age, we got a younger cousin, and sometimes family friends went on outings with us, bringing their kids (everything from older than us to toddlers). We almost always found something that was fun to do for all of us. Trampoline parks, water parks, swimming pools, picknicks, going to a lake, going to the zoo or aquarium and actually LOOKING at the exibits/ animals, etc. On hikes/ ourdoors, we olders roamed a bit, then we'd all eat and rest together for bonding time, or play card or board games (UNO was a big hit).

[@linatchaika223]

Im part of a blended family too, my half sister is 6 years younger than me and I just stopped coming along to family time because they stopped caring about me, It made me drift away from my family and especially my stepdad, I still blame my mom for it since she never done anything to keep me involved

[@kayq3231]

I stopped going on family vacations because I knew I wasn't going to enjoy them. They even said "I could stay at the cabin and explore the town." While they went hiking.

[@ApricotStone]

I had a similar situation on a Discord server I’m an admin for just yesterday. So I’m a pretty good artist and the server has a bunch of kids that are much younger than me and haven’t had as much time to practice. But even if the art they send in the gallery is objectively bad, I’ll always encourage them and praise their work. And then comes along this other person who’s a pretty good artist who just say to someone’s post “That looks like dogshit.” So of course I berated them a little and kicked them from the server when they wouldn’t back down. But anyway, my point is, encourage creativity!! Even if you’re better at something than someone else, it’s not hard to be nice

[@fionamasters1822]

Freaking seriously? Sounds like the gobshite forgot what it's like to just start out as an artist. Not everyone can wave their hands and go bibbity bobbity boo perfect work of art.

[@KCCAT5]

What is it they say? Art is in the eye of the beholder LOL something like that. Just because your creativity is different from mine does it make it better or worse

[@reptilelover2129]

Did that AH in the last story just express jealously over a 3 year old? *Shakes head*

[@DarkAngel65989]

Story 1:OP is not the Ah,the step-mom was rude to OP, OP and other sibling didn't like her, plus the step-mom was so rude to the mother and the father did nothing to stop it. The father shouldn't being involves since he doesn't care. Story 2:OP is not the Ah,it clear they don't consider OP opinion, and focusing on what the younger one want more. To me all this is doing isolating OP for everyone else not bonding like the parent want. Story 3:OP is not the Ah, OP is following her partner wishes. The family need to understand that this was his idea and this is want he wanted. Story 4:OP is not the Ah, the husband is being a child for getting his father and brother to try to stop OP. Also, acting like that toward his own daughter is mess up.I like the daughter,"don't be nasty" So this isn't the first time, the husband need help and a readjustment.

[@selimkarayl7823]

I have no evidence but looking at what OP said I think OP's stepmom might have abused OP, perhaps in a s*xual way.

[@selimkarayl7823]

@FoxLimbs I mean OP said stepmom done things to OP which OP couldn't tell anyone, not OP's own family. If its true it probably wasn't beating, since it would be hard to hide when you have brothers and sisters.

[@Bigfoot_With_Internet_Access]

Imagine if he had used an uno reverse card when they tried to cremate him

[@garfield336]

Imagine thinking uno reverse cards are still funny.

[@johnkramer7161]

What are uno cards?

[@THE_Mirage]

@@garfield336 no u

[@fantasyfan6037]

Does anyone else watch these just to hear Mark laugh at some of the comments? It’s a very uplifting laugh!

[@josephfarr1649]

Story 3: My condolences for everyone. I have to respectfully say there is no Biblical evidence to support that everyone must be buried. I can understand it being a tradition based upon the rapture. I would challenge them saying so the God who made the universe out of nothing can't recreate our bodies at the rapture? Also I would continue saying that the raptured will get new bodies.

[@metatronblack]

So your getting cremated ?🤣🤣🤣

[@josephfarr1649]

@@metatronblack well I might. I heard it's cheaper compared to being buried. I'm still not sure.

[@belledomnik]

Story 4 My son started helping at that age. He started chopping with a real knife at 4.5. Daddy is a huge richard.

[@bearhugzfam649]

Never stop saying you're thankful xD I mean not to be selfish but it's nice to hear, but also you're right. I think it really helps to boost a person's awareness and mood. I'm the sort of person who, when someone asks how I'm doing, I tell them "still alive, any day I wake up is a good one." My life sucks sometimes but the fact that I'm still here, I don't currently have a bad cold, and I have internet access to listen to my favourite youtubers - those are all things that I'm happy to have, and reminding myself of that frequently helps keep me out of a bad place, mentally. Showing gratitude is good for the person showing it, is what I'm saying. If it does you good, keep doing it.

[@Katiekooleyes]

The best part of coming back to KZbin after a few days break is having a Mark Narrations marathon! Great way to spend Sunday :)

[@spoon2497]

Story 1: NTA a funeral is a final goodbye not else

[@BurntWeeny435]

Your warm & genuine thanks are music to our ears!

[@beckygilmore4798]

Chef Ramsey has his kids in the kitchen cooking all the time... what a baby to tattle to his daddy

[@margaretannfrank5480]

You made me laugh out loud with the whole "How many urns are at the bottom of the sea?"

[@DJShihTzuman]

Story #4- NTA! You're teaching your little girl a necessary skill and setting her up for her future! She'll be able to survive on her own when she grows up! At least she'll be able to make her own food and experiment with making new dishes while her friends either eat take out or go out to dinner all the time or eat ramen noodles or soup in a cup. Kids today don't know their way around the kitchen because they spend more time on the computer or tablet or in front of the TV. My daddy (grandpa) taught me how to cook at the tender age of TWO!

[@toysruskid5074]

They make silicone cooking sets with silicone knives and mitts so 3 year olds can safely help in the kitchen. There are also gloves that keep your hands from being cut. Enjoy cooking with your daughter. Your husband is childish.

[@Darwinsmom]

"Mantrum"! I love words and word play more than almost anything.

[@edgardo8971]

1st-- NTA-The dad has no say on who is or isn't invited, they had been divorced for years, unless he is paying for the funeral services. Then that, imo, is a different story. 2nd-- NTA-there needs to be a compromise. 3rd-- NTA-I was about to say the same thing as one of the commenters. Cremation ban was lifted almost 40 years ago. If his parents are such big believers why are they unaware of this? Just like Limbo was also gotten rid of by the Catholic Church. 4th--NTA-why is he being so obnoxious? If anything he should be encouraging his daughter.

[@layronmccoy8708]

I went to reddit to see all the comments on story four, and boy, it's so much deeper than the three year old helping to cook and him being a jealous chef. Apparently OP's FIL had been telling her husband that OP didn't love him and was only with him because of the three year old, and he should leave them before he gets hurt. FIL had been saying that bs to OP's husband for a while, and OP's husband started to take his dad's words to heart and started lashing out at OP. But, according to OP, they've talked and are good now.

[@sierrasasmartass7755]

My maternal grandfather was in the Navy for most of his life and loved the ocean very much. He passed away several years ago and wanted to be cremated then buried at sea, not only because of both his love for the ocean and because that way no matter where family members live in the world they would be able to visit him. I don't know about the urns because when we spread his ashes the captain of the boat we rented read to us a bunch of rules about spreading the ashes, mostly about items that aren't biodegradable couldn't be put into the water with him. We just had flowers to send him off with.

[@gentle_apathy]

19:55 I heard "Music with Rocks In" and immediately snapped to attention. I see we have a Terry Pratchett fan among us.

[@Riwy1942]

For story 3: I think the weighted urn at sea thing for burials is for sailors. Obviously you can't be buried in the ground when you die in the middle of the ocean, so they had to do something else xD

[@IKKclauKR]

As a catholic, I didn't knew that was a thing; I come from an extensive catholic family, and there has been a lot of cremations, for example my uncle was cremated like 4 years ago, and his ashes are buried in a cemetery....that's inside a church and is for ashes only!!!

[@Wednesdaywoe1975]

What the little girl said reminded me of my college roommates little girl. "Daddy" was quite possibly the most entitled man child I've encountered, and Mommy encouraged it. Little girl got up to put her juice box in the trash, and the SOB took her spot and her pillow. Like he had been waiting for it. She came back, grabbed hold of the pillow and said, "No Daddy, that's MY pillow". My other roommate and I burst out laughing and left early, sulking.

[@videofan1010]

My recommendation for the 15 year old is to get a job and start saving up money to get out. You'll get out of family time and you'll have money 😂

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

And the parents can't really bitch if she's doing work!

[@MaryTheresa1986]

OP will still have to convince her dad to sign a work permit though. Hopefully he does and she's able to save enough to move out ASAP.

[@laurenmentink7401]

In the last story the mom is in the right. My sister did the same, niece became a really good cook. The mom is channeling her daughter into not becoming a "terrible two" child even though she is three. The dad is just upset that child would rather cook than play with him.

[@jacquelinemonreal7951]

So happy I'm actually getting the notifications when you upload right away 😌

[@Zommymommy]

The death one.... no ones an asshole . Just grieving. There’s no right answer here.

[@mariahmurrell]

I had a similar situation to the new kid story, except outings with my mom and her (ex)bf where I would be left alone where they went. Eventually got bored of it after saying I didn't want to go, sat for an hour or so, and wandered off with a friend that worked at the apple festival we were at on their break. I got pulled back, had to leave, and grounded 😂 then wonder why I didn't have friends in school

[@aljones6012]

That family upset about cremation don’t even understand Catholic teaching: 1) Catholic teaching is not as black and white on cremation as “cremation = hell”. It was an old rule against a certain “cremation as an act of defiance of god” eg “god ain’t gonna resurrect THIS body!”. 2) what she did once he was dead CANNOT impact the destination of his soul. Period. It isn’t some kind of magic spell. They believe his own soul’s state the moment after death determines where it goes. Period. Source: former Catholic Seminarian and theology graduate (but now an agnostic).

[@redconvoy]

I had a dad that discouraged any creativity from his daughters because he felt we should get married and have kids. That was our purpose. I should have listened to my mother and pursued my goals. No, I never got married. I just wound up in a career I was not really fond of later on.

[@andreawalker8343]

The urns at sea are for when a person passes at sea. Less relevant now with refrigeration.

[@TheHarasment]

6.10am and listening to Mark before bed. Thanks xx

[@f.ah.c2114]

About the weighted urn, it isn’t about the sea in particular; it could be the mountains or a dessert, the idea is for the ashes to stay together. Even though that is the teaching, it has become more of a recommendation or a tradition rather than a dogma.

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 2- NTA. I’m 8-10 years older than my siblings and when we were doing family activities my dad and step mom would take my wishes into consideration. Yes we did things like go to the aquarium or the zoo and we would stop at playgrounds there, but it wouldn’t consume our whole trip. Also, family outings would rarely be to a playground. I think the parents need to start doing some things the oldest wants to do or the second he turns 18 he’ll probably go low contact with them.

[@thecraftycyborg9024]

I was raised Catholic. My parents were both in prayer groups, my mom led retreats when she was a teenager, she taught religion occasionally in schools during her teaching career (it’s not her real subject but in tiny schools, you do what you must!), etc. They had my baby bro cremated and still have his ashes in their house. He passed away 21 years ago. Now we joke he lives in the closet. In fact, when I told my mom I’d want to be cremated as well, she told me to expect to be charged rent as the closet was going to get crowded, lol. So yeah, those people need to get with the times and accept that times have changed and this was their sins wishes.

[@nikkihorn3852]

I love what wee one said to her daddy

[@toaster2822]

I have 3 siblings. My parents include all of us by going on a "date" with all of us individually. Every 2 weeks 1 of us goes.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

1. I'm so sorry for you and the loss of your mom. 2. My parents have told me and one another that they don't want anyone there who wasn't there for them while they were alive. 3. If something happened to my husband I would have my best friend and one of my cousins on guard duty, certain people will not be allowed there because they would come just to rub salt in the wound and I rather not end up in jail when I need to be there for my kids and I'm in mourning

[@owl7072]

Story 2: NTA. It makes me wonder how they act on Op's birthday if they turn down every idea that doesn't allow the younger siblings to be within a few feet of them. I'd feel bad for OP even more if they weren't even allowed to decide what to do on their birthday.

[@Kate-sx7fn]

If you are cremated and have a burial at sea, your ashes will be placed in a special urn, that will disintegrate after a while in the water so your ashes will be carried out with the currents. There are no piles of urnes laying around on the seafloor. My grandpa had a seaburial, he was a boat builder and loved the ocean. Was a really nice ceremony with a lot of old stories told, laughter and good company, just like gramps would have liked it.

[@patronofdragons]

story 1: NTA. I went through something similar when my dad died last year. My aunt (mom's sis) wanted to go to his funeral but I refused. I cannot stand her and neither did my dad. She then went on Facebook and called my other relatives, saying how she was crying over this and blah blah blah. I gave in because my mom started nagging me about it. Then the cow didn't even show up. Don't be me, don't give in.

[@normanpetri9550]

Sorry, but story #3 has me crying as I'm typing this! I can really relate as I watched my sister, niece, and nephew go through the same thing!! My brother in law passed away from inherited heart issue..basically he passed away at 39 in my sister's arms one night...was revived once in the ambulance, but it didn't take. This was all within two week of my sister being diagnosed with cancer and having a double masectomy at 38! His wishes were always, always, always, to be cremated!! His sisters and mother, think Cinderella's stepmom and wicked step sisters, tried to force their way into what my brother in law wanted for funeral arrangements. His own parents didn't come to their only son's funeral!! Even after he was cremated they tried to strong-arm and bully my sister over what ti do with ashes! They were trying to demand a portion of the ashes, but my sister held strong and said no...just playing vague to what would happen. She, my niece, and nephew FINALLY had their private little family goodbye. They took my brother in law's ashes to obe of his favorite spots on the big island of Hawai'i and spread them in a semi-remote cove off of his favorite beach. It was special. Sister said a group of rarely sighted sea turtles showed up in the cove at the same time making it more special and endearing! His family has no clue....and inly cared about control and manipulation...they never really knew my brother in law like we were able to! One of his sisters stole the master set of keys to all the house doors and made copies during funeral. She then on later visits stole some of his belongings my sister had set aside and she broke into their safe looking for car titles, diplomas, money...she even stole some expensive tools he used in his shop.. he was an engineer tech mechanic for Hewlitt-Packard. They never even told my niece and nephew sorry for losing their dad! This all makes me loathe the idea of in-laws...like...seriously?!... you're going to play the game of who knew him better?!

[@autumn557]

I would 100% want my death wishes honored, not ignored because my parents disagree with them.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 3: NTA - You followed his wishes. No one can 'damn' another person.

[@jennya9838]

The youngest contestant to make it as a finalist in Master Chef Junior was 8. A lot of the contestants remember learning how to cook between 3 and 5. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's kid ends up having a passion for cooking that might lead to a life long career. At the very least it's time spent bonding while learning an important life skill.

[@lenax9798]

I've been in a similar situation. I have brothers who are 9 and 12 years younger than. So when I was a teenager my brothers were younger and always wanted to be included. My mom forced me a lot of the times to "babysit" them. Because of this me and my friends could never really do stuff we wanted. I tried to do talk about it with my mom but everything was waved away. I still resent her for this. I had barely any friends because of this, socializing was difficult for me. It's still affecting me now that I'm adult

[@Tyanna01]

Last Story: Something isn't right in that relationship. And it was the fact that the 3yo told her father "don't be nasty". That is a learned phrase. If she had of said 'don't be mean' or 'don't tell me what to do', I'd think, ok 3yo showing her independence, cool. But don't be nasty? This makes me think this is a statement that is said in the house often. The fact that he got mad after the toddler said that, makes me wonder if this is a phrase OP says to him, and now the 3yo is saying it. Or maybe this is something he says to OP, and the little one turned it back on him and he's sulking? I don't know. But adults shouldn't be talking like that to each other, let alone acting in a way that someone would say that. The 3yo being happy daddy was leaving too.... Something is not right in that relationship and kid's reactions show that this is her normal home life. Not cool.

[@middaydraws3379]

I agree that the kid being happy dad is gone def shows that something is wrong there. The phrase "Don't be nasty" on the other hand isn't. It's another way of saying "Don't be mean" or "Don't be rude."

[@Tyanna01]

@@middaydraws3379 My concern is more that the 3yo has heard the word nasty before, and enough to equate that nasty = mean. Meaning someone in her life has said it to someone else. Given the pandemic and the fact that OP states she is furlough, I'm assuming the kid is staying home, meaning she learned it at home. The fact that OP didn't really seemed surprised her 3yo used that wording also leads me to believe it's a statement she learned from the home. To me, the word 'nasty' is way more mean spirited and spiteful than just 'mean'. It isn't a word I'd expect to be in a 3yo's limited vocabulary.

[@locusxe1411]

Nasty is literally just a word. What do you mean the parents shouldn’t be saying that around the kid? They most likely haven’t been saying anything. She probably said it because her dad talks crap all the time and she know it. She was probably happy because her dad is mean

[@selimkarayl7823]

@@locusxe1411 And how do you know all about that? All we know is what OP said her side on one instance.

[@selimkarayl7823]

@Mia Smith There is something weird going on sure but unless I miss something I don't think OP's husband said "women can't cook" or some ridiculous bs like that.

[@sianchild]

For the last story, the husband is welcome to do all the cooking himself if he feels there's a problem. It's perfectly normal for kids that age to start helping. It worries me that the family thinks she should just do whatever he says.

[@madeleineastor4652]

The 2nd story sounds like the parents just want the cheapest activities!! The park and finger painting at the library and puppet show !!!

[@FulgrimPhoenician]

Story 3: I understand there are many version of Catholicism. I was raised Roman Catholic in Belgium, I am not religious anymore as I went into adolescence but my grandparents were/are deeply religious. My grandfather passed away from cancer over a year ago and he stated his wish to be cremated so my grandmother could keep his urn, rather than being buried in a cemetary plot somewhere where it may be hard for her to visit especially once she may move to assisted housing soon. Funeral rites are for the living but I also believe it is very important to honour the wishes of the loved one who is passing away. It is after all the last act we can do to honour them.

[@Amagem81]

A lot of the best chefs i know have been doing it since they were in nappies. In the Caribbean they start us off young with cooking, especially if the child has an interest.

[@BiteSizedCrafter]

Story 1: NTA Why the f would anyone want to go to the funeral of someone who they did not like/respect?! Also OP’s dad is there parent and should not be ignoring his kids just cause they wouldn’t let him get his way. Parents who act petty towards their children are gross to me.

[@NeoLotex]

Story 2: Maybe they don't even realize it (although I have a feeling that it's just more convenient for them), but this not only not bonding, but it's basically actively driving OP away since everything she connects family time with is boring her. Sure there are times when you have to take one for the team, but not EVERY time. Story 3: I think they could've had one last talk before he passed about how it would help his parents or something like that, but in the end it was his wish to have it like that and I think OP was right to respect that.

[@Slicksterpat]

Story 2 next time they go to the playground tell them Have Fun and go to your room. Do not come out until they come home and if the little kids start talking about it in your presence walk away.

[@deer0skullz]

When I first went to my local trampoline park, I was 8 and many of my friends of the same age had been going for years before. There is no reason I can see that a 7 and an 8yo could not go to a trampoline park.

[@didyasaysomethin2me]

Time stamp on this one says it was uploaded ~ 1 hour ago. Burning the midnight oil on your Saturday night there? 😘 Story 2: OP won't be a teenager forever. Hopefully those parents will think long and hard about whether a punishment is worth the risk of it coming back on them in a few years. It's the kind of thing that could easily get them ghosted. Story 4: "Don't be nasty." This little girl is already more of an adult than anybody on her dad's side of the family seems to be. I hope he never manages to wear her down or tarnish her shiny little spine.

[@adropofmagicc]

I’ve never been this early :0 love the video! :)

[@rorimorganwilliams7294]

If they mean that OP’s husband was raised Roman Catholic the church has within the the last year or so relaxed their stance about cremation and are allowing it. I was raised Roman Catholic and wish to be cremated. Many Navy personnel choose to be buried at sea and people who served on the ships still existing in Pearl Harbor are allowed to have their cremated remains interred with their former shipmates.

[@EmiriTsukiyo]

Yeah my dads a cradle Catholic from a Catholic family...he insists on being cremated and his ashes scattered in the desert. The body is just a vessel while we're here, treat it well and then move on~

[@rorimorganwilliams7294]

I plan on being cremated but I’m not sure where I want my ashes spread yet. My husband said he wants his firework rockets dipped in his ashes and set off.

[@EmiriTsukiyo]

@@rorimorganwilliams7294 Oh that sounds like a unique way to go out! To each their own~~ I still haven't fully decided on what sort of burial I'd want, but I'd want it to be reasonably priced and meaningful~ maybe a burial pod~

[@rorimorganwilliams7294]

@@EmiriTsukiyo my husband has stated that he thinks it is the closest to space that he can ever be.

[@EmiriTsukiyo]

@@rorimorganwilliams7294 ohhh thats a clever way to go about it

[@skippiefritz]

I've said it once I'll say it again; Mark's voice soothes me more than sleeping medication

[@ghostsapphy6456]

For story 3: what if a good-willed, devout Christian died in a huge fire?

[@itjustmemanning8441]

As far as story 2 goes op is ntah, but I'd really like an update! 🧇❤🧇

[@MGP2210]

15:22 Maybe it's for when people die at sea? And you would want it weighted so that stays in the depths and does not float?

[@drnick5439]

Ty mark for the great content. Love all your waffles

[@canadalovesanime3137]

Story 2: This is NOT "family time" this is stepmom and little kids with "dad" time. OP seems to be the third wheel. NTA Story 3: ? Really? These people, I can't even. OP did the RIGHT thing, she listened to her husband's wishes. The parents can wring their hands all they want. It was his body AND his decision. NTA Story 4: That is so sad. She just wants to help. It's not like OP is making her handle knives, boiling pots , or the stove. Also: "your doing it wrong", f that shit. That is his wife and daughter he is talking about. What a jerk. This is the same crap my aunt says about everyone elses cooking. The "my way or the hi-way" mentality is ridiculous. NTA

[@linzi9814]

Story 1, does the dad even have a right to be there though? he divorced her and remarried, that's the end of their relationship.

[@yourneighborhooddeadpool488]

Story 4: NTA I would help my mom and dad do simple things since my mom cooks a lot because of my grandma (she was Italian) and my dad worked at my grandpa’s diner. I would help my dad make pancakes on Saturdays and I would chop veggies for my mom when she’s making dinner. That was like around 10 years ago and now at 16, I cook dinner for my family, make pasta from scratch, I think of burger combos (I would love to own a burger restaurant and name it “The Hangout”), I watch Gordon Ramsay shows, recipes, I learn from Tasty, and I think that I feel qualified to be called a chef. The little things from the beginning that are encouraged like cooking, cars, planes, engineering, the military, etc would get someone into a job they love and it allows people to learn about that specific thing that a child feels interested in.

[@krystalvixen3334]

Story 2 wants me to make speak my own story because that’s that story reminds me of what dealing with right now

[@THE_Mirage]

STOP!! JUST STOP BEING SO WHOLESOME! *STOP IT!!!*

[@KyrieChii]

Nooo it's so sweet, it always makes me smile!

[@THE_Mirage]

TOO WHOLESOME GAHH!!

[@karend1577]

Last story, maybe OP's husband is jealous of how his giggling daughter is having so much fun 'cooking' with his wife - who by the way is not a chef. Maybe, he thinks that since he's the chef, that he should be the one having this fun time with his daughter. This was initial impression after hearing the story. Edit: When my nieces/nephews were around that age, they 'helped' me bake cookies. They get so excited and proud that they baked the cookies.

[@justine8387]

As a parent I am really sad for the kid in story 2. It sounds like he really does want to be part of the family and that is lovely. Story 3, she should go to the Catholic church and discuss it. The funeral and burial has happened now. I hope their is something that can be done to bring comfort.

[@TheListyRayne]

My best friend in high school’s dad died right after we retired. I was very close with the family. The wife and the parents argued about where he was to be buried. He was buried near his wife and child. They fell on hard times and had to move near the wife’s family for assistance about a year after. I took it upon myself to visit the grave and check on it from time to time. Imagine my horror when I showed up and the headstone was gone and the grave had been dug up! Come to find out, the parents had him moved near them after the wife and daughter had to move. But it freaked me the hell out! I hadn’t been told! I thought his body was stolen! I was just 19 or 20 at the time!

[@lucymarie8611]

Leave your last wishes in writing and if you can pay for them ahead of time. Heck start paying for them now. Even if you are a healthy 20 year old. That way no one can go against your wishes because the arrangements are bought and paid for and no one can be mad at your spouse or next of kin for your decisions.

[@LadyLeomon]

1) The Step-Mom hated the mother in life so it makes zero sense for her to go to the funeral just so she can find some way to muck it up! Sorry for your loss OP 🕊🕊🕊 2) NTA, it’s clear favouring of her own children and you’re justified in your resentment. 3) NTA, it was _your husband’s_ wish to be buried and you followed his wishes ... I’ve never heard that about Catholics either (thanks to the guy who clarified the Vatican lifted the “ban on cremation”) 4) NTA, she’s a kid for God’s Sake! There’ll be plenty of time for “you’re doing it wrong” when she learns to actually cook for herself, but she’s a little kid wanting to help her mama, leave the poor kid be! Thanks for the new vid Mark 💙🐱💙