Nephew Is Blamed For Breaking His Parents Marriage And Accusing Me Of Favoring Him r/Relationships

[@You_said_what1]

Story 1 - that family used that poor boy as a scape goat. My husband didn’t cheat on my, my son was just creating problems. My daddy didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all my brother’s fault. So disgusting 🤮

[@memeking7273]

This is gonna be morbid but who here bets money that the kid is gonna commit suicide

[@ambrosic_shifter8947]

What

[@photofreak56]

I wanted to give that kid a hug so badly. that poor boy has been bullied.

[@masumi158]

@@ambrosic_shifter8947 Dad/husband cheated and tried to cover up this with a shitty story, son didn't believe him. His mother is taking in out on him. Some people prefer to live in a comfortable lie.

[@Kortita]

That broke my heart.

[@Ozzy08018]

"My sister backed her up and they told my parents and my mom is threatening to not invite me AND my nephew to her wedding because there is nothing she hates more than favouritism." Yet the mother is showing that favouritism she hates so much towards OP's sister since she's taken the sisters side 100% and is backing up the sister. I didn't realize this story had 2 black sheep/scapegoats until I heard that.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Don’t understand why mom disowned OP when she took both kids for the weekend? It’s definitely narcissistic abuse by grandma and ma. Daughter will be JUST alike no doubt

[@phoenix5044]

Not to mention that she disowned OP

[@LadyBern]

I also felt like the mother had a favorite

[@bunnyslippers191]

The brother is also being blamed, so this family has three scapegoats. What a bunch of trash. The entire family is garbage except for Nephew, OP, and Brother. They need to form their own little nuclear family, move in together, and go NC with the others. OP and Brother would be better parents for Nephew than his own parents.

[@sylviajones6745]

Plus Op's brother is disowned too, so that's 3 black sheep. What an asshole family.

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Story #1: The niece is clearly the golden child. File for custody of your nephew and cut the family out but your brother.

[@Snipergoat1]

She might as well whistle herself up a couple million bucks for all the good it will do to try to take custody from parents who don't want to relinquish it. If she wants it, it would be far easier to convince the parents to let him stay there than to convince a court to favor an aunt over parents. Stop thinking in the false dichotomy of the golden child and the scapegoat, They are just more pseudo psychological terms that are over used by people who don't understand them. In reality parent/child/sibling relationships are way to complex and dynamic to ever fit into such basic categories.

[@groofromtheup5719]

OP has the only member of the family worth more than stuff you've got to wash off you shoe before going inside.

[@Detector1977]

BINGO! What a rotten toxic family...

[@KatzMcKatz]

I think when she said that it wasn't the same because taking her out on the weekend wasn't as expensive, she should have said, well I was given the tickets so they cost me nothing. That's what you get this weekend then, nothing.

[@jakeand9020]

If she wasn't before she sure will be now. His father is a cheating AH The mother staying with him. Not only is she staying with a cheater, but the guy that has been emotionally and mentally abusing her son, without even pretending to hide it, for how long? Nephew needs to get out of that house NOW.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

Story 1: Ah yes. It’s the kid’s fault that the marriage broke. Also who’s betting the mother put ideas in the niece’s head? Like how would the niece know about the finances? Story 3: literally all kids pretend to be sick once or twice. Good parents realise that.

[@memeking7273]

Story 3: I am surprised that OP didn't saw to mom to "Stop pretending your overreacting it's just a bad headache"

[@paden1865able]

My dad could always tell when I was playing hooky as a kid, but once I started getting periods, he'd call me in sick for three days. He'd also get me pads, Tylenol, and toss bags of chocolate and potato chips onto my bed, along with putting a cooler full of ice and cans of Mt. Dew by my bed. He did the same kind of thing for all of the females in the house.

[@sopadumacacoumadelicia5]

@@paden1865able that's nice

[@kitsumekat]

@@paden1865able you had cramps that bad?

[@robertx8020]

@@memeking7273 That would be a nice answer

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

Story 1: I’d tell the niece, “Well, you don’t spend money on me. Does that mean you don’t love me?” We need to stop this entitled bullshit about money = love. Mom should be ashamed for encouraging that behavior.

[@toysruskid5074]

That and the tickets were given to OP. Technically free to OP, so it was the niece getting money spent (more expensive). Her backwards logic is so full her parents emotional problems.

[@cyndib511]

The tickets were free, so a trip to the park with neice is appropriate, skip the shopping trip.

[@echtemeid415]

I'm a little shocked that the niece even said that. Who taught her that? Hella weird, because money can buy a lot but not fun and warm memories. Those types of memories can only be made, and that can be done for free!

[@sandragarner2912]

Beautifully said! Turnabout.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The sister is completely to blame for this in story 1. The sister has been spewing lies and bs to the daughter. The daughter probably doesn't even like baseball. OP was going to take the daughter shopping or to a movie she wants to see. The mom is absolutely coaching her. I don't blame the daughter at all for this, this is 1000% the mom. There's no reason for her to cry about this.

[@atinyevil1383]

Agreed. The mother doesn't like her son and is weaponizing her daughter against him.

[@princesspanda12012]

The daughter is old enough to know right from wrong, at some point she knows her behaviors are trash. "Expensive" outings are needed?? Nah, the sister lost me with that.

[@Tijggie82]

the father also, he's just as bad, if not worse, than the mom. Since he's the one starting it all.

[@coreymartin6486]

Sadly, the mom is likely the direct cause of conflict between the sister and brother.....who's the one putting it in her head about the price difference? If it weren't the mom, she's still at fault for not correcting her daughter for that reasoning.

[@coreymartin6486]

@@princesspanda12012 the daughter has been the one being the shoulder to cry on for the mom......it would be hard for an adult not to EVENTUALLY become influenced, let alone a 12 year old.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2: That's rich for the Ho-Bag Step Mom to ask her Husband's son if he's happy for ruining her kids home life, when she literally did the same exact thing to him!

[@kiki-kq2xq]

Story 1 - I can hear the "why doesn't my son talk to me anymore?"

[@AndreNDP]

"My husband divorced me after his third separate affair partner wanted to get married and turned down my offer to be sister wives. My daughter is a drug addict with severe daddy issues who looks for validation in older men, and everyone hates her because she treats people like garbage. Whyever could all this be happening?"

[@iris5678]

OP needs to get it in paperwork IMMEDIATELY for custody or guardianship or permission that she has the nephew in her custody temporarily. Otherwise, sister can turn around and say that OP has kidnapped nephew and OP can get into trouble and nephew is dragged back to parents.

[@EluneAnzu]

OP's mom is correct there is favoritism going on, blatantly so, it's just that the niece is the favorite.

[@Emily-ck9ji]

NO child deserves to be blamed for the end of a marriage. It's absolutely disgusting and I cannot believe that people in her family would attack OP for trying to comfort her nephew, especially when she already planned to take the niece out. Both of those parents are vile for the way they use and manipulate their children. Edit: That update is infuriating. I cannot describe the rage I feel on behalf of the nephew. If I were OP I would go no contact with everyone except for the brother and nephew. He stood up for his mother, exposed the father's cheating, and she blamed HER CHILD? Disgusting. What a poor excuse for a mother. So .. what? Is her excuse now that her husband "tripped and fell" on (and into) another woman? And it's all her son's fault? I hate stories like this.

[@pippo17173]

You don't even need to read the entire story to go *This husband is cheating isn't he*

[@JamesRT1291]

It seems like the family isn’t pissed that the dad cheated, there upset that it was exposed and the one that exposed it was still in the house. And as soon as that one person is out everything is hunky dory. This is a toxic family and OP did that kid a favor

[@photofreak56]

The fact that they don't seem to be upset that the dad was cheating but that the child was willing to use their morality to say no I am not going to cover up for my father speaks volumes. It's hard to do something like that I'm sure that the nephew that there would be fallout from this but he still did what he thought was the right thing. He stood up for what he believed was correct which is you don't get to disrespect my mother by cheating on her. And instead his entire family turns on him except his aunt no screw that I hope he gets away from his family he doesn't need that

[@pippo17173]

@@photofreak56 any family that wants to support the cheater and ruin family sticking up to them should be treated as trash and be cut off entirely.

[@robertx8020]

@@pippo17173 this

[@slothysoap4589]

Final Update to the 1st story that came about 2 months later: (TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPTED S**CIDE) I know a lot of you have been wondering about my nephew and how everything’s been going. I feel like now’s a good time to basically give you all a final update if anyone wants since I finally logged back in and noticed that quite a lot of you are still asking. This might be a bit long so heads up. After I eventually told my nephew about his parents not divorcing, he like completely checked out. He was blank and just stopped talking. I was extremely concerned and would check on him every hour or so during the day because I was terrified that he would try something. This went on for a while with me or my bf constantly checking on him. We’d also try to spend as much time with him as possible. He didn’t say a word throughout this time. He just became mute. This next bit. I don’t know how to type this out. It still hurts to even think about. Basically, my worst fear came true. Thankfully, my bf found him right on time and was able to stop him. It’s a fucking miracle and my hands are still shaking as I type this out because it is genuinely the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I immediately called my sister and told her what happened. I don’t know what went through her mind but she told me she was coming over right away. The second she saw her son she broke down. My nephew looked so lifeless. It was hard to watch. Her husband showed up a few hours later demanding that I let him in. When my nephew went to sleep, my sister and BIL asked me what was wrong with him. I basically told them that he hasn’t said a word in a long time and that it’s because of them. No sugar coating. I told them that they failed as parents the second they decided to blame and burden him for their wrongdoings. They bullied him into silence. He’s AFRAID of speaking and saying the wrong thing. I told them that I tried putting him in therapy and the therapist told me this. He’ll sit there for an hour fidgeting with some crayons but won’t talk because of them and they should feel guilty. I might have also told them that I hope the guilt is eating them alive. But yeah I then said that he needs serious and more professional help that I cannot give him as someone who isn’t his parent and that they need to step up. They kept crying and saying they were sorry but I told them to apologize to their son and do something right for once and get him help. As of right now, my nephew is still staying with me with visits from his parents. His room door is always open and we still check on him and spend time with him consistently. My BIL has managed to find a therapist that specializes in my nephew’s case and he’s already had a couple appointments. He’s a bit more expressive but I’m not expecting any big changes for a while. As for my niece, according to my sister, she feels incredibly guilty. My nephew doesn’t want to see her and I refuse to force him. My sister and BIL are kind of doing everything I say so they aren’t either. The past few months have been the most difficult months of my life. I’m constantly anxious and my performance at work has taken a bit of a hit. I also went from the fun aunt that visits a lot to basically having to take care of a kid full time. Still, I’m just relieved my nephew is still here. I miss his smile more and more everyday but I’m optimistic that I’ll get to see it again in the coming days. His eyes aren’t dull anymore and he isn’t in bed all day. It’s progress. Idk if his relationship with his parents and sister can ever be mended but he knows that I will always be there for him. My bf too. He knows that he’s loved and hopefully one day he’ll know that enough to be able to speak and express himself freely. Please pray for my nephew. I’m not religious but every thought counts. I appreciate the support and I never expected to get such a large response from freaking reddit. If anyone reads this, please be mindful of how your actions affect your children. Also, my nephew progressing from sad to depressed to suicidal was extremely quick but his recovery will take years. Your words matter and have so much fucking power over your children that ADORE you. Don’t do this to them.

[@Grace_x68]

Thank you so much for the update. I was really worried that the nephew will try something bad. I feel sorry for him and OP.

[@blue-fv3eh]

İ hope the nephew is doing okay now and is away from his toxic parent and sister i really pray that he is still alive and doing better

[@leadingstrangeness]

Thank you for the update. Glad that the parents got over their bullshit (they're still heartless monsters in my eyes) and I'm sad that the nephew is getting help. That relationship with the niece is fractured to a point that I don't know if the nephew will ever be able to speak to her again.

[@blue-fv3eh]

@@leadingstrangeness sadly i don't think that the parents will ever get over their bullshit if the nephew forgive them and go back to live with them their old habits are going to go back unfortunately people like them doesn't really change

[@mechanical_chaos]

Thank you. I was literally hunting all over for an update after watching thos video tonight.

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

Story two: why do people who cheat and destroyed the family with their cheating get to have full custody? It's obvious they didn't care about the child(ren) so why do they want full custody? Because the dad is a cheapskate

[@nikoking825]

This dad was an idiot and possessive and stomped his child's boundaries, however as a role cheating does not have bearing on custody.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Dad wanted to create the picture of a perfect family despite him cheating and destroying his 1st marriage. If OP referred to his mistress/wife as mom or dad had full custody he could show everyone that it all worked out in the end for all his children's benefit. Learning that his wife hates OP because he's from the 1st marriage she helped to destroy and she doesn't want OP around as a reminder of the past is a cold, hard slap in the face for the dad.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

To avoid child support so he can spoil step children and wife of course

[@heraclito3114]

That's not the only. He is the "bad guy" for cheating but a full custody would prove he is a "good guy" to the world and would be also a slap on the mom's face.

[@nikoking825]

@@heraclito3114 yes. He was a jerk all around. My point was the in general being a cheating spouse does not have to do with custody

[@judithhansford4629]

What a vile example of child abuse by adults who use their children for emotional punching bags. 🤦🤦

[@JustSomeSophie]

That 3rd story.. Absolutely NTA in my opinion. As someone who had a mother who would take herself to the doctor for every sniffle, but completely neglected her 5 kids physical and mental healths, leading to me being disabled for life and my sister potentially also disabled for life, there was all other kinds of abuse as well. It 100% sounds like the mother only wants one of her kids to take care of her, doesn't give a shit about her kid or her kids life, only wants HER to be taken care of. Cancer or terminal illness doesn't negate the abuse that person put you through and OP owes her nothing at all.

[@thestoryfactory8429]

Cat's Cradle = "You missed your chance; I'm grown now and have no more time for you than you had for me." quarter = "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares." bootstaps = "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and toughen-up/stop whining."

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 3: NTA If I were OP I would've responded to her mother "It's not cancer, it's just growing pains. At this point in your very long life your brittle bones just tend ache." and if she got upset about my reaction I would explain how in OP's childhood her mother made it perfectly clear that in this family it was every woman for herself when it came to their health. And the Worst Mother Of The Decade award goes to...

[@GIChiyo]

Story 1: Some people should not be parents, and that is clear favoritism...I doubt she really believes that the son is the reason for the marriage failing, but it's an easy scapegoat for her to use since he can't fight back / defend himself That is depressing and I am glad he is out of there. This is not a family worth keeping in touch with if this is how people get "disowned". I would call it "unburdened" instead imo

[@elaexplorer]

Story 3: I'm concerned about the sister. Is she a minor still living at home? She's going to be put into the role of caretaker and should probably be removed from the situation.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Story 1: OP should ask for guardianship and put that poor boy in therapy.

[@kristy1653]

Story 2: So, she said that OP is destroying her childrens’ home life??!! Umm, didn’t SHE do that same thing to OP when he was a child when SHE started sleeping with a married man???!! Oh, the irony! 🙄

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Well that's how a narcissist behaves. It's their world and they expect the rest of us to just live with it.

[@brendaseminoff615]

Story 1: How does a 12 year old get the idea the game was expensive. The tickets were free and hotdog ,popcorn and a drink is way less expensive then a girls day shopping and lunch.

[@fluidwolf]

Parents coaching her most likely.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Cheating is a major betrayal of not only your spouse but any children you have. It ruins relationships. The dad is so out of line to think he has the moral high-ground to get full custody after he torpedoed his marriage and cheated. What is this should've waited until in private foolishness? The dad acted like a total immature moron and kept pressing for an answer, but OP should've told this to his dad a long time ago. That was his only AH move.

[@gaaraxnaru]

I disagree with that last part. OP was a confused and most likely scared child. He probably believed her, and OP's dad gave little to no indication that he actually cared about OP as more than a stick to hitbhis ex-wife with. Why should OP have trusted him to have his back when he never did before?

[@catT5236]

Disagree with that last part. OPs Dad is an AH for not addressing it sooner. When it became clear his son was uncomfortable in his house he should have spoken to him in private to find out what was going on. He's clearly capable of being persistent enough to get those answers when he chooses, but decided a dinner in a restaurant in front of other people was the time instead of going on a drive with just his son to talk about this. OP is still a kid, it was always up to his Dad to be the adult & check he was adjusting ok, especially when the Dad was the one who wrecked OPs family by cheating.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 3 NTA! The mom is full on abusive. OP is lucky to still be alive and wouldn't be if it was up to her horrible mother. She just wants OP as a free caregiver.

[@saratronus]

Ugh!!! The too young for this pain excuse I hate it so much like pain isn't going to wait around until It thinks you're "old enough". I absolutely hate it lol

[@nyx_moonwalk]

story 3: how can op's mom expect her to care when she has cancer when she didn't care when her own child may have had it? she's reaping what she sowed.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1: I would sponsor the nephew to counseling, get in touch with a social worker, and see about sponsoring him for emancipation so he can live with you or your brother. It's too late for your niece. Cut your losses with everyone else!

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I’d call DCF on family for parentification and emotional abuse. Nephew is at huge risk for Suicide or SIB

[@LaineyBug2020]

@@amberleeannalee1999 that's what I was thinking with the social worker. Different states have different acronyms lol, so I just went with social worker. In my state its CPS.

[@animefallenangel]

I really feel for the nephew in the first story. My mother, in a fit of rage when I said I was moving out aged 22, screamed that she was going to divorce my dad and it'd be my fault because I was moving out. Other stuff was also done/said, but I adored my dad, and he was working abroad and mum even called him up to give him the same line and he ended up having to beg me not to leave home.

[@user-fs7dv3bq2v]

Story 2: Dad and OP were close. But when they started to grow apart, current wife probably said OP is being alienated by ex-wife, to throw Dad off from current wife’s tactic against OP. Dad is clearly trying to foster a close relationship with all his children and wouldn’t take ‘no’. At dinner, Dad repeatedly asks probing question because he’s had enough and to prove his belief in front of family. But when OP told the truth, Dad realized it was not his _ex_ wife that’s evil

[@JasperCatProductions]

My lord what is wrong with the sister and mom in story 1? The father said that kid is the reason for divorce. The niece sounds like a spoiled brat. I would tell mommy to take her wedding and shove it.

[@fluidwolf]

Honestly the niece is very likely being coached by their parents into mistreating her brother as well. She is very likely being used as another vehicle for her parents to abuse him and she is too young to really go against it in any real way that doesn't put her into the line of fire or require her being taken out of the situation entirely. The adults in that family are almost all toxic as crap and are pushing it as much as they can onto their children

[@photofreak56]

The mount of seathing rage I feel after story one and its update is just... His mother really is fine with everyone dog piling on to this kid for standing up for her? For not letting his father disresepct his mother. Insted his family minus OP and maybe his uncle. I don't know if OP can keep him for longer but god I want him to stay with OP. That kid has been abused, beaten down emotionally and bullied. I know I'm going on and on but that poor kid.

[@bunnyslippers191]

I want OP, her brother, and the nephew to all move in together and be their own little nuclear family for nephew, at least until Nephew gets out of high school. it's only a couple of years. The Brother and OP are the only sane adults in the family. They could go NC with the rest of the family and protect that boy from his parents and sister.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@bunnyslippers191 don't forget psycho grandma.

[@donnamiller3463]

I hope the aunt is able to put the nephew in counseling. Even without that, it is a bit much to handle at age.

[@sylviajones6745]

There's an update, nephew almost unalived himself Parents finally, too late. Got him a therapist. He had been living with op and her boyfriend, they were watching him, but it was almost too late. He became mute because of his family. God, what a bunch of morons.😢

[@GBunnyG]

Story 1: Her sister deserves every bad thing that happens in her life. I hope the kid's okay in the end. He and OP deserve better.

[@pippo17173]

she defently does. Sister is a massive doormat and this is why we should be ok to making fun of them despite suffereing on their own.

[@timtompkins8774]

Story 1: NTA Wouldn't her mom be favouring the niece by not letting the nephew go to the wedding? How much could the tickets cost?

[@bunnyslippers191]

OP's friend gifted the tickets to her, so they cost nothing. The only expense would be the food and drink at the ballpark. Yes, food is expensive there, but not *that* expensive! Sister is poisoning the niece against Nephew and OP.

[@vickimoss1943]

Mom blamed me to my face for her divorce and destroying the family when I was a teenager.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Holy cow. Reading your comment made me so mad. I don’t know how long ago your “egg donor” said this to you, but I hope you’ve been able to lead a life with out that toxicity hanging over your head.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I would have talked back. Even as a little kid I would have said “guess u or dad should have kept ur pants on”. I had a major narcissist in my life and a covert one. I never backed down from bullys and still won’t. It still hurt but no way will I take my life because someone’s a ahole

[@vickimoss1943]

@@BruinPhD2009 it’s even better. She adopted me. Go figure.

[@sylviajones6745]

​@@vickimoss1943, wow I don't have a thought to say, except I'm so sorry you went through this. Damn.

[@jemase7931]

"not as expensive" How would the niece know? Who's been feeding that girl this stuff? Actually, the tickets were free, so ..

[@helenlewis2510]

Story 1: that poor nephew, his parents hate him and wants everyone else to hate him too so he can be lonely and miserable. But op isn’t following their plans so that means they’re out too. Edit to add I don’t think it’s a coincidence mom and dad got back together once nephew was taken out of the equation

[@brigidtheirish]

OP's mom is a piece of work, too, threatening to not invite OP *and her own grandson* to her wedding.

[@WyntheRogue]

There's at least a silver lining that he has someone like his OPas his aunt in his corner whose willing to call out bullshit and give him a place to go. Hope things get better for the poor kid.

[@pippo17173]

@@brigidtheirish Her sister is a massive doormat too. Don't ever show sympathy for cheating victims thinking the relationship can still work, especially those that never learn from it.

[@kitsumekat]

@@pippo17173 She probably knew about the cheating and stayed out of desperation. It's sad that she's going to lose everything in the near future when he dumps her and their daughter for someone just like him. I hope, by then, OP and her future son ghost the whole family.

[@pippo17173]

@@kitsumekat guarentee she did because the reaction sounds so defensive rather than shock. HOWEVER people who choose to stay will always be weak/get cheated for the rest of the time staying with him.

[@mellodees3663]

Last Story : "Don't worry mom. It's just growing pains. :D"

[@Dragonemperess]

Literally. Too much growing. :D

[@dannietea]

Thank god for the OP in story 1. That poor boy needs to be someone’s favorite.

[@wandastroud6347]

I would love to see OP keep her nephew forever! The poor child has a crazy family except for OP! Really hope there is an update soon. Heartbreaking story.

[@jessilyngray1223]

The last story...that was me...sort of. My parents wouldn't take me to the doctor because "we didn't have insurance" or the money. Nevermind that my dad was in the navy growing up. In middle school I remember I was so sick I would cough so much that I wouldn't be able to breath and I damn near passed out because of it. I kept telling my parents I needed to go to the doctor but they didn't take me. After about a month of this my nose would bleed every time I sneezed, coughed, blew my nose. I woke up one morning to my mom screaming because my face, pillows and blankets where covered in blood. She took me to urgent care and the doctor yelled at her about letting it get that bad. CPS was called I was put on bed rest and put on heavy antibiotics and missed a week of school. Then in high School I got an ear infection parents said the same thing to me about no insurance well I had my friend take me to urgent care the same one that called CPS on my mom. They pulled my record took me back took one look into my ear and called CPS again. My ear drum was ruptured and they thought I had hearing loss (I did) I'm low contact with my parents they didn't take care of me. I'm a mother now and I keep an eye on them if they even look a little sick I believe them. I have sent my son to school after he's (coughed) because it was very obvious it was fake but I take no chances with them I am will be better I will do better

[@josiemorgan6567]

That poor boy. He is already being successfully alienated from the rest of the family. Thank god he has you.

[@davidsantiagotate7380]

I wish something could be done for the nephew in story 1. Hopefully he can move in with OP full time or something like that, especially since the parents aren’t getting divorced (ugghh that upset me)

[@lostshadows768]

The only issue I see with the last story, is that OP doesn't seem to have direct contact with their sister, so they'll probably have issues in the future if they don't find a way to contact her that doesn't involve the mom. Still NTA, I'm just worried mom will treat the sister's future health concerns the same way and OP won't know until it's potentially too late.

[@shells500tutubo]

I just happened to be talking to a good friend's early twenties daughter about her childhood, because her paternal side is a clusterf**k of sociopaths. She mentioned how her first stepmother told her she (the daughter) was responsible for breaking up their marriage. I laughed and told her that the children are NEVER responsible for breaking up a marriage and she was genuinely surprised. For the past eight years she had internalized that negativity and she really felt responsible. Believe me, her father and stepmother were like Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" She had NOTHING to do with that mess of a marriage.

[@Lestaticate]

Story 1: Imagine a kid trying to defend his mother, only to become a pariah. I truly hope OP or her brother can somehow gain custody. Mentally, he’s NOT in a safe place. Poor kid’s entire world is thrown upside down!

[@alr3764]

story 3: so it seems the mum immediately went to the doctor when she was feeling sick

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 3: If younger sister is still living with the mom, my only offer would be to have the sister come live with me...

[@Vallyrah]

Story 3: This one was difficult for me. I have a rare genetic condition that I inherited from my mother. She has an extremely mind form of it; I'm the opposite. As a result she was never diagnosed. When I went to her complaining of health issues she would just tell me "that was normal" because she sometimes experienced something similar. As a result it took me decades to get the correct diagnosis, Partially because I didn't see a doctor because everything was 'normal' and partially because doctors don't believe in 'zebras' or rare disorders. Joints popping completely or partially out of place because of nothing in particular, painful but normal; eating foods like potato or tortilla chips, just normal foods and sometimes nothing happens and others you get 'burned' bare patches that bleed in your mouth and tongue, painful but normal; passing out when you sit up or stand routinely, normal. Since I didn't know it was a genetic disorder or serious, I've had children and have to live with the guilt that I passed it on to one of my children. I don't want to be angry with my mother as she didn't know she had it either, but I wish she would have taken my health issues seriously when I was a child.

[@catT5236]

H-EDS? Not being nosey it's just it sounds like what I've got. Takes stupidly long to get a diagnosis even if you are being taken seriously.

[@Grace_x68]

You have the right yo be angry but go to therapy.

[@terramarini6880]

@@catT5236 As soon as I read joints popping in and out I thought Ehlers Danlos.

[@spacetofu5306]

Story 1: Sister is going to come crying to the family when her husband cheats again 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@JSainte17]

OP's sister 100% told her daughter that OP liked son better, etc. How f"d up.

[@teamaang7915]

Feel like nephew from story 1 is getting emotionally abused by everyone but his aunt. No wonder his personality has completely changed. 🤦

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1 Feel so sorry for the opies nephew and I really do hope she takes full custody and no contact with that toxic family's.

[@AngelDame17]

This is quickly sounding like a Scapegoat/Golden child scenario with the siblings. Poor boy, just 3 more years to go. Maybe auntie can take him for extended periods and get him out of that Madhouse?

[@pearl_lisha896]

First story is ridiculous, you can’t compare the price because OP was given the tickets for free and intended on n going with her BF.

[@rogerrabbit80]

Should've asked niece, "How is what we're going to do cheaper than free?"

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: *NTA* The nephew is being mentally and emotionally abused by the Dad. Niece doesn’t seem to be getting any of that. Of course OP is going to be there for nephew since he’s literally being blamed for his parents marriage falling apart by his own dad. Since OP said that @their mom isn’t using niece as emotional support and burdening her with details of the problems“ I’m guessing that’s what she’s doing to her son? Which is a form of abuse. Children absolutely should not be treated like Peers parents should vent all of their problems onto. I have seen some cases where the kids even get berated by their parents for not being there emotional support. Been told that they’re selfish because mommy/daddy just needs to talk about the bad day that they had in the last child can do is just sit there, listen, and carry that burden with them. Op absolutely was not playing favorite she was helping a kid that was being mentally and emotionally abused. Being a scapegoat the father blames for the marriage falling apart and being mommy’s emotional support animal that has to listen to all of her problems. Niece saying that the outing with OP wont be the same because “it won’t be as expensive“… Not trying to be hateful but she sounds like an entitled brat… considering how the Mom handled OP not taking both of them, I agree with that one comment that the Mom is definitely influencing the 12 year old. Like, were else would that “it won’t be as expensive“ issue come from? Her mom probably told her daughter that expensive equates to how much someone loves you. It honestly seems like niece is the one that’s being favored considering she’s not experiencing any level of the abuse that her brother is experiencing. I’m not saying the divorce isn’t hard on her, but she’s not being used like an emotional support animal or being blamed for the marriage falling apart. *ATU:* So The dad was cheating and nephew wasn’t stupid enough to fall for all the inconsistencies. So he is abusing his son and lashing out that he cannot have his cake and eat it too. Dad is a POS. Sister constantly complaining how her brother is constantly being emo, she needs to cut that sh!t out. Considering how the kids mom says that the 12-year-old needs more attention right now, she is the only one that’s playing favorites and it’s BS that OP‘s mom disowned her because she was being a good aunt and making sure that her nephew was OK. What a toxic family! I honestly would not be surprised that when her nephew reaches legal adulthood he moves out and cuts contact with both of his parents and his snotty sister. The fact that she recorded him crying and sent it to people. 12 years old and she is acting like such a bully. It’s easy to see how she’s going to treat people when she get to the high school and she doesn’t realize how cruel she’s being to her brother who is in pain during a really hard time for him. She really is a Karen Jr. Mom Is absolutely disgusting. Her son practically stood up for her pointing out the inconsistencies in her husband’s story pointing out that he was cheating. She is choosing to stay with him and collaborating but it comes to abusing the sun that pointed out her husband was cheating on her. I’m glad she’s not divorcing her husband I hope that her marriage is just so miserable and her husband continues to cheat on her. I hope even take the girls home and he cheats on his wife and their marital bed. I hope nothing but misery for that disgusting woman. I mean he might as well considering his wife is deciding against going through a divorce and staying with him after he cheated paired her choosing to stay in a relationship taught him that he can cheat as much as he wants and she’ll still stay. Again I hope a very miserable marriage for that woman. STORY 2: *NTA* Dad was so in the wrong trying to force his son to call his new wife Mom and forcing this blended family having complete disregard for his son‘s feelings. Proving that his wife is more important than his son as he refuses to spend alone time with him. Also the fact that he tried fighting for full custody when his ex-wife started dating, that is so scummy. Not to mention how his new wife is a POS being unnecessarily hostile towards his son. WTF is it with a grown ass people being jealous of their significant others children when their SO is given their biological children attention? How emotionally immature can you be to be jealous like a parent you are in a relationship with is being a good parent and being attentive to their child? Honestly I read this really disgusting story on Reddit where a pregnant woman who swore up and down she is not a bad person but she REALLY wanted her husband to basically kick out his young daughter. Even saying “we might be able to find a good couple that are willing to take her“ because she was afraid that the Child she conceived with that man and is still pregnant with won’t get enough attention. Really sad when it does come to these type of stories the parent will abandon their child for their spouse/their spouse’s children or The new baby they had with their spouse. Dad got the answer he was basically holding Opie verbally hostage for. He wanted to know so damn badly OP did not want to go so OP gave him the answer to the question he asked six times. OP’s step mom is being a Big ITCH texting that stuff to OP. She’s just angry that she got exposed for being a C U Next Tuesday.

[@hughg.rection1421]

There's one more update to Story 1. OP informs nephew that sis and BIL aren't divorcing. Sadly, the nephew's mental state gets worse and he eventually tries taking himself out. OP's BF stops him and OP calls the "parents," telling them what happened and raking them over the coals for their shitty parenting. The therapist that the nephew was seeing before the incident stated that he was scared of speaking up and saying the wrong thing, so he became mute. This resulted in the "parents" finally getting their shit together and calling another therapist that specializes in nephew's case. Nephew is still staying with OP but the "parents" make frequent visits. Niece feels extreme guilt over the situation.

[@johnowen9349]

"it's not the same because it's not as expensive." And that right there is where I lost all empathy for the vapid, empty husk that is the nephew's sister. I was already feeling like the nephew needed a little special focus, maybe a lot, because he was having to shoulder a bunch of BS above his pay grade. But after that sentence I actively feel like the niece deserves LESS.

[@holyek7892]

I love the last story. I hope she feels her life wastes away until she is a husk of her former self. I can't wait for the update. :)

[@silverwurm]

Story 1: How and why did these people become such worthless excuses for parents, spouses, siblings, people in general? Just, why!?

[@rylashadow18]

S1) Sounds like nephew is the escape goat while his sister is the golden child who can do no wrong. I'd let the nephew know if he needs a place to go that he's welcome to yours anytime. He'll need a safe haven away from his toxic family and you as well as your brother are the only ones that are really trying. Tell your mom you don't care to attend the wedding of someone whose going to be divorced in under a year seeing as she's okay with cheaters and that speaks a lot about her character. Let your nephew also know he's welcome to talk to someone about the things going on. I'm fighting mad cause that poor souls donors failed him epically. S2) First of all he shouldn't feel bad for how horrible his step mom is. Secondly he shouldn't feel bad for being honest with his dad. Finally if this ends the relationship between the two it'll be because of what step mom did not him. I absolutely hate people who take their insecurites out on children or those who treat someone's bio kid as a hurdle. S3) Any donor that tries to claim they have rights as parents after neglecting a child for years needs to be shown no sympathy.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA Mom could have nipped this in the bud but chose to throw OP and her son under the bus. The fact that they are equating the monetary value to love is gross and entitled. Daughter sounds spoiled and likely the favorite so everyone is mad that OP is giving him attention. Edit: they all blame the son for telling the truth and have been abusing him because of it. Disgusting

[@memeking7273]

Honestly I wish that kid wasn't born in that family

[@unluckypuppy13]

So I was in a very similar situation as the last story. I was no contact with my mother when she got a breast cancer diagnosis. She had threatened me with the police and said she'd make it so I couldn't go to college. Long story. Had a homeless man with mental illnesses she had started dating in the house that was going sideways. I felt guilty about it but I just couldn't put myself back in the middle of the chaos. I moved states and lived with my grandmother. 3 years later and my mom now recognizes how awful of a scenario it was and says she doesn't blame me for not putting myself threw that.

[@divedweller4295]

Story 1 - NTA. He's the one being shat on in that house, and it doesn't get much less expensive than free. What a bratty niece. Maybe point out the mother's hypocrisy, just for a barb. Story 2 - NTA. Geez. You'd think the guy could've taken a hint with how OP was avoiding him. The SM is horrible enough, but with such an abrasive father on top of that. Story 3 - NTA. Maybe if the mother hadn't been so cruel, she might have been scared into watching out for that cancer earlier. The mother burned those bridges and it's classy enough OP doesn't gloat.

[@ebagentj]

Story One: Funny that as soon as the aunt takes in her nephew, her sister and brother-in-law get back together, as if he was the reason the husband cheated on his wife. I'm glad that poor kid is away from the more toxic elements of his family and with someone who genuinely cares about him and his wellbeing. I know therapy gets brought up a lot on there like it's a cure-all, but after how his parents (and grandmother) treated him, that boy is going to need a lot if therapy in addition to the support of his aunt (and the "disowned" uncle).

[@LisaApril]

Today’s stories were examples of how parents cruelly treat their children. I’m hurt for these people, and I hope they find a way to become stronger to either leave those parents or to Hold them accountable in another way.

[@Sylphella]

Story one is heartbreaking. I really hope op keeps the nephew out of that abusive household, because it's only going to get worse.

[@MikkosFree]

I had asthma when up to when I was 6. My mom gave me meds equal to 8x the recommended dosage. I was rushed to the hospital and was under care for 2 weeks. It raised serious fighting in the family and almost got child services involved. On the bright side, I have never had a single asthma attack since then.

[@DestinationsChronicles]

OP: Ok niece, you want equal monetary treatment when we go out? I paid nothing for the baseball tickets... So I will spend nothing on you. That's fair, right?

[@Willoshi]

With the first story.. if I were the aunt, I'd be sending wellness checks and CPS in any time I felt concerned for the boy.. and if it kept getting worse, sue to take custody of my nephew or something.. that poor child is being horribly emotionally abused, just because he's older and a boy.. the OP's sister and BIL are horrible people and deserve to have their kids taken away.

[@cristinamadrigal4458]

There was a final update… things got worse for the nephew 😢 he tried to “not be here anymore” the aunt’s boyfriend found him in time. The parents are very “sorry” and getting him help but to that point he’s still with his aunt. I really hope he gets better, I believe with his aunts help he’ll get through.

[@Kumo5980]

I remember reading that……I hate those parents so much! Especially the mom The boy was standing for his mom and this is the thanks he get?

[@femboy__bunny]

The rage I feel would get me banned from this website if I put it into words over story one

[@princesspanda12012]

I'd be getting banned from KZbin and reddit for sure

[@S730SD]

Story 1: If I were the OP, I'd file for full custody of nephew & go NC with the worthless trash calling themselves his parents. They're gamete donors with delusions of merit, that's all.

[@brokenrabbitsfoot]

That poor child. Everyone failed and continues to fail him except for OP and their brother. Breaks my heart

[@TheMimiSard]

The story in the "Cats in the Cradle" song is one of a child who wants to spend time with his father, but his father is a busy work-a-holic. There comes a time in the son's life, in his teens, when the father has time to spend with his son, but the son just wants to borrow the car and go out. It has been a while since I have listened to a version of it (my favourite is a 90s cover version by Ugly Kid Joe), but I think it ends with the perspective of the son implying he is making the same mistakes with his children as well. In context of the story, mother neglected OP's health, the comment that mentioned the song is suggesting to tell the mother "You never cared about my health, I don't care about yours".

[@alyzu4755]

This poor kid! This crap his parents and hers are doing to him is going to stay with him for a long time. I hope he gets therapy. Absolutely, the niece's attitude is coming from the adults in her life. I also hope OP is able to spend more one-on-one time with both of them. Maybe she can be a good influence in her niece's life. And yes, I also hope Nephew goes NC in 3 years. Update: His sister recorded him and sent it to other people?!?!? Including a girl he likes?!?!? WTF?!?!? I'm betting getting disowned by her mother is the best thing. OP is a gem, and I hope this poor kid will be OK. 😞 Story 2: What is with these parents treating their kids like cr*p and threatening the other adults in their lives? OP didn't do this, his stepmother/dad's mistress did this.

[@alyzu4755]

Wow! It's cruddy parent day on Reddit, isn't it? 😢

[@fluidwolf]

What kind of kid would legitimately argue that they don't want to go do a cool thing they like with a family member because it's not as expensive as something they did with another? Outside of being brought up as completely spoiled I can only think that they were coached to think like that while the OP and nephew were gone. The fact that the cheating dad blamed him for his screwing up and his mother instead of being mad at the cheater got mad at the person who pointed it out and poisoned their sibling against them is just insane to me. The nephew did nothing wrong but everyone in this house is falling over themselves to treat them as some pariah. I really hope that aunt pulls him out of that situation as soon as possible because that family is just a huge cesspool of toxicity and the sister is rapidly melding into it as well.

[@Sensansenkai]

Oh my god that last story..... Does the mom even KNOW how much she neglected her kid, I wonder? Like did OP let her know "btw that knee pain you told me I didn't have was a broken kneecap and I could have died several times of food allergies because you never got me an epipen."? If not I'm sure it would be super satisfying to let her know (though maybe petty). Like "Oh yeah mom you totally deserve to have me take care of you, like remember how caring you were when I had that tumor on my arm? No? Oh right."

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 - Dad is lucky OP wants ANYTHING to do with him after he cheated.

[@Misspellednumbers]

Story 3: My mom went through the same situation as OP. She was ignored for every pain, and was either given home remedies or "it'll go away." My mom never let any of our (my siblings and I) pains go disregarded because of it. She took them seriously unless she genuinely believed we exaggerated a pain. I have gotten the flu, bronchitis, and pneumonia back to back for years. And she took all of it seriously. When I got older, I also started lying about feeling sick, but when I started getting an indescribable pain, she took it seriously despite knowing my previous lies. Turns out I needed my gallbladder removed. :/ I feel for OP, because having a parent who truly cares about your wellbeing, is a fucking game changer. She doesn't need to waste her time for someone who disregarded her.

[@MikkosFree]

To the OP of the second story. You are a great kid, nothing about what you did was wrong. You gave your dad exactly what he wanted when he pushed you for answers. I do want to give kudos to the dad, despite his shortcomings. He was probably on cloud9, blissful with his new wife that he just missed all these flags. It happens to men quite often. But the fact he seperated from here, even temporarily, when he learned the truth tells me he isn't beyond redemption. I hope OP and his dad find common ground and rediscover a relationship again.

[@wenhall6258]

Hope aunt get custody of her nephew 💙. I have raised all my niece and nephews with my kids.. mom of 9 love every min of it 33 years old to 17 right now and one grandkid 7 years old . Hope all works out for them

[@qazwiz]

@Mark Narrations, you mentioned "Cat in the Cradle" in a way that sounds like you don't understand the reference ... The song about a boy (not girl) trying to get attention from his dad (not mom) ... the hook has dad delaying getting together dad says, *"... son.. we'll get together then.... son, ....we'll have a good time then!"* then 4th verse, the dad is finally ready to talk with his son, but son is busy, he's got to meet his friends, needs to borrow the car, so son says: *"... dad.. we'll get together then.... dad, ....we'll have a good time then!"*

[@qazwiz]

folks i know, i edited which sounds like i mashed the song, but was done to show context without looking copy pasted lyrics... you have to agree my edit, flipping son/dad cut out 70% words while keeping whole meaning ("He grew up just like me")

[@massomouse1556]

The first story: nephew - being emotinally abused by father and mothe in their own respective way Niece - being emotionally manipulated to believe aunt(OP) favours him over her because she only got two sport tickets but said she'd take niece out over the weekend shopping instead grandmother(mother of OP) - sounds like OP should say then she doesn't want to go if she going to stand idly by and let her other daughter emotionally abusing/manipulating her children as she's doing and playing favorites taking sister's side of all the weaponizing of the niece against OP and go nc with her and EXTREMELY lc with sister and BIL.

[@saldiven2009]

A child who equates how much she is "loved" with how much money is spent on her has had some messed up parenting.

[@re--dacted]

Going to the movies or shopping isn't as expensive as free tickets to a baseball game? What?

[@oldgreggsmadmemes4431]

Soo they don't want Favoritism but having clear favoritism

[@cyrilmarasigan7108]

Story1: NTA, glad you take your nephew out of that house, he was abused by just standing for the truth and honestly i feel bad for your niece because she is manipulated into a spoiled brat, i hope she get to know the truth someday. Story2: NTA, that's her consequences when she wreck a family and being a bitter to her stepson and honestly send the text message to your dad and see what is his reaction, and if he was still in denial, you can gladly tell to your grandparent, mom and stepdad the truth. Story3: Wow! Glad you are still alive after that untreated illness you have.

[@fhuber7507]

1... Nephew's mom has a golden child and it's not nephew. OP and nephew are the only NTA people in the story.

[@candiebarr6745]

If the niece actually cares about the cost of things, why not point out to her that the tickets were free?

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "It's not the same because it's not as expensive." First off, hold up the train. What entitled attitude is that? You can't have fun with family if you don't spend a ton of money? Secondly, the game was FREE; you were given the tickets. Tell niece you understand; instead of taking her shopping, you'll spend exactly the same amount on her as you did on your nephew. That said, there's a reason dad blames the son and not the daughter; they have a Golden Child, and it's not nephew. Tell your mom the only ones playing favorites are his parents.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Story 1: I heard this one a while ago and it infuriated me so much I wasn't sure I wanted to listen again. I'm so glad I did though! Good thing OP got her nephew out of there!

[@owl7072]

Story 3: Op's mom sounds like mine and I dislike her for that fact alone. If your kid says something is wrong then you _l i s t e n._

[@devegas4910]

Story 1: stuff like this actually makes me believe that violence is DEFINITELY AN ANSWER.

[@diarradunlap9337]

Seems to me like OP in the first atiey should seek to gain custody of his nephew and get him OUT of an extremely poisonous household that CLEARLY favors the niece. Also, OP should then go NC with his mother for life.

[@dragonleheart2137]

I am not sure if non-Americans would understand the contents of the care package from the comments. The quarter (a 25 cent piece) is related to the saying “here’s a quarter, call someone who cares” as old school phone booths charged a quarter for your call. The boot laces stems from the phrase “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” which means working on your own to pull yourself out of a bad situation. The song Cats in the Cradle” is about a boy growing up and his father always having something he deems more important than spending time with his son. By the time the father is ready to spend time with his son the son is grown up and does not have time to spend with his father. I hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed day and remembers to check in with a loved one you may not have seen in a while 😀

[@annem7806]

1) your nephew needed you more & you recognized that. 💔 Nephew should tell his school counselor that he needs therapy bc of the family problems. I ended up in the ER because of a mother ignored medical problem. 🖕🖕🖕

[@recoveringcatholic554]

I really hope the aunt takes legal custody of the nephew. That mother and father were straight up abusing that poor kid.

[@AllenTax]

My God. I would have said more. Tell how it is. "Yeah DAD. Ignore the ABUSE your wife has done to me."

[@only1one1me]

Story 1: You couldn't PAY me to go to a baseball game. Just because something costs more, doesn't mean it's worth more to that person. I'd be far happier taking a walk in the park (free) or watching a movie with someone I like rather than watching sports. If something happens to cost more, so be it. I'm not petty enough to compare dollars.

[@superkingoftacos2920]

Story 1: Disowned because you weren't abusing your mother's grandchildren enough? Wear that like a badge of honor

[@doorlocke8009]

Story 1: File a complaint with CPS about the emotional abuse and include how the parents are turning then niece against the nephew. Hopefully they'll take the kid away from the parents and you can file for temporary custody pending an investigation. With any luck if they find the abuse significant enough they'll turn the temporary custody permanent until he's 18, his parents will probably be glad to be rid of him. As for the mother she should reply something to the effect of "I wont sit by while my sister emotionally destroys my nephew for trying to stand up for her, I wont allow him to be bullied not only by his own parents but by his sister who the parents have turned against him. I cannot believe you care so much more about potential favoritism than you do about your own grandchild's mental wellbeing, don't worry about disowning me because I disown you."