I Think My Wife "Baby-Trapped" Me And Now I'm Unsure What To Do r/Relationships

[@hothotheat3000]

I’m a woman and I’m PISSED for the first OP. The wife is being all loving because she thinks her plan worked and he will just fall in line. She’s in for a wild ride as a single mom to three kids. Good luck finding a quality man who will want to take up that burden. What an idiot.

[@gessica1961]

Well said, and agreed!!! I'm rooting for him and praying for the Pikachu face update

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Exactly! As a young lady who wants to be a mother myself, I'm absolutely fuming for OP too. If this happens to me, I would probably leave too. And I'm deeply disturbed by some of the people in the comments who think similarly to OP's wife who thinks he's selfish and petty and that he needs to man up and give her what she wants and be a good husband and father. ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ First of all, OP IS a good husband and father. He only wanted one child, but he compromised on having two and he seems to be very happy with his two children. Secondly, OP's not the selfish and narcissistic one here, his wife is. She does have a right not to use her birth control pills, but she DOESN'T have ANY right to poke holes in OP's condoms in order to get a baby out of him. This is even worse than cheating in my opinion. Can you imagine if it was the other way around? People would drag OP through the mud and rightfully so. And I heard that it's illegal in quite a few places. And Finally, OP is FAR from petty for wanting a divorce. He had been betrayed by his wife. And she probably doesn't know this yet, but she also damaged her children, especially her unborn child because when the divorce inevitably happens, the first and second may just blame the third for the divorce. And if he stays, it'll only prove to the wife, that she was right all along and will try again for baby #4 without OP's consent and may not even stop at her desired 4 children. I honestly wouldn't put it past her to want to give birth to as many children as her body will allow. I've heard that some women actually have done this. TLTR: OP is DEFINITELY not wrong to go through with the divorce after baby is born. His wife is a selfish and narcissistic woman who betrayed his trust regardless of her biological clock ticking. And those poor children are going to get caught in this horrible mess she made. My advice to OP is tell your children before she does, make it clear that it's not their fault or the baby's fault, have DNA tests just in case of cheating and try to talk to a lawyer about suing her for birth control tampering. Oh, and get as much evidence as you can get. Family courts can be extremely bias towards mothers and the more evidence you have, the better.

[@Ventura574]

Ugh, I worked with a gross brat that stopped taking birth control behind her husband's back. She'd refer to his ex as Jerry Springer trash, so I guess the man has a type. Lol.

[@serpentmaster1323]

Not just take up the burden, but I would wager a man of quality might sniff out the fishieness of her story. Also quality man who knows the truth probably wouldn’t trust her unless she seriously truly changes herself. She’s got to find the highest quality saint of a man, who could fully understand the situation and then put up with her out of the goodness of his heart for the children. Her friend btw deserves some blame too for bringing up the idea.

[@loganblackwood2922]

I'm so used to seeing women being the ones falling in line with one another, justifying this, telling the good men to "man up" and using shame and abuse to humiliate the man and risk his reputation. It surprises me, you must have sons.

[@SuperBatSpider]

Story 1 Update:She is definitely love bombing him so he won’t leave, she knows he is 1000% justified in leaving

[@thefairybug40]

Came her to comment that. What a sickening cow.

[@ditzyhere3138]

That or she feels like she won and has gotten everything she’s wanted. Probably plotting on a 4th since everything worked out.

[@SuperBatSpider]

@@ditzyhere3138 That’s certainly possible

[@thefairybug40]

@@ditzyhere3138 I can hear it now: "Listen, I don't want to deceive you like you *mAdE mE dO* last time, and I only want one more, and it's not like four is really that much harder than three, and the others are older and can help out a little now, and. . ." Thank goodness he's leaving her.

[@tishjanuary7379]

I think that he stayed. I remember this post from awhile ago & the last update isn’t any different than before. Whenever that happens I always figure that the OP stayed in their crap situation.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "You have no right to decide if I take birth control" okay but you also went behind his back and poked holes in the condoms 🤨 he has no right to dictate your birth control but by that same sentiment, _you_ have no right to sabotage _his._ I'm pretty sure poking holes in a condom can classify as rape considering he's under the belief that he's consenting to protected sex meanwhile you've taken every possible step to ensure it was anything _but_ protected and then _didn't tell him._ If I remember correctly, I think it's called "stealthing" or something and it's very much illegal in a lot of places. Edit: "I feel so guilty with what I'm doing" don't be, she had no remorse when she went behind your back. The _only_ reason she "apologized" now was in a desperate attempt to keep you from leaving her, and I bet my soul she still doesn't actually believe that she did anything wrong.

[@damien678]

and it should be considered rape by more people, too

[@catharineholton49]

She is just happy, relieved, and very smug, she got what she wanted at no cost to herself.

[@amandab8433]

He stayed.

[@ResidentMilf]

The legal term is reproductive coercion, and it is legally a form of rape in many places.

[@emanymton7184]

I would tell her to terminate or i would do it for her. Clothes hangers are a thing. Or she could go to PP and have a professional do it.

[@huinismith]

I remember story 1, I even left a comment. I didn't know there was an update. One of the worst parts is that now, by OP's wife unbelievable selfishness, there's a baby in the world with a father who never wanted them and a mother who blames them for the divorce and the subsequent destruction of her family. Big FU to the wife.

[@JDKT002]

Yeah there's like zero chance this kid grows up well adjusted. Both parents are going to in some way view the child as the reason their lives imploded. The poor kid will forever be the black sheep of both the fathers and mothers families.

[@lydianelson7737]

Story one: If OP doesn’t divorce her, the chances of her pulling that bullshit again are not zero

[@michellekholmatov9562]

Good thing he can get a vasectomy, honestly he really should have, once his wife started asking for a third. Especially when she said she wanted 4 and 3 was a compromise. To me she was literally saying “I’m going to have 4 kids.” I’m sure this wasn’t the first instance where her actions didn’t line up with her words. “Accidents” literally do happen all the time why would any man who only wants one child feel comfortable marrying a domestic women who’s biggest dream is to pop out a bunch of children? People need to be better judge of character and actually know the values of the people they’re marrying.

[@princesspanda12012]

She will do this again. And God knows what else she will go behind his back about

[@Thomas-ps9qk]

@@princesspanda12012she wanted 4 so yes it will happen again

[@EphemeraImaging]

@@michellekholmatov9562 She originally agreed to one, then coerced him into two. It's hard to judge someone when they mask their intentions all the time.

[@DesertRainReads]

Story One: Pregnancy by coercion is a form of rape, because it's done without consent. What she did was appalling and disgusting. I would've screen-capped, sent them to myself, then go talk to a lawyer because I would be heading one way to divorce city.

[@Cassandra765]

Story 1: Ugh! This is so messed up and I'm worried OP's going to back out of divorcing because of guilt. The Only reason his wife is so happy right now is because she thinks she got away with it. If he stays, it will only further validate in her mind that what she did wasn't that bad and when she feels the urge to have another kid (she did say 4 was the dream), she won't hesitate to manipulate him again because in her mind it'll be "Well, he got over it once. He'll get over it again." She can't be trusted.

[@trinitylane2202]

I hope OP actually goes and gets a vasectomy so something like that doesn't happen again. It really is too bad he didn't do that after the 2nd child was born.

[@Nemenvagyokna]

he can have a vasectomy. the damage is already done, why worsen it by fucking up 3 kids' lives?move into your office, but ofcourse he's not gonna have the same bond with the third, since he's angry at the mom and taking it out on the third kid by depriving it ofa family. What about just sucking it up.

[@amandab8433]

He stayed

[@trashcatlinol]

@@amandab8433 oh no.... she's going to get her fourth unless he gets that vasectomy. But I hope he did it strictly for the kids. He got a taste of what it'll be like if he leaves her. I'm convinced she manipulated the kids against him to get him to talk to her again. I really hope he gets therapy and gets her help, because she's definitely seriously abused him (I'd call it rape. Doubt he would have continued with the act if he knew his condom was compromised and she wasn't on bc. I know men who experienced true rape, too. Little difference except op actually was attracted his wife and was gaslit by her.

[@crowwithrights]

Also didn't OP say she said she wanted 2 kids at first? The number may be going up...

[@despinasgarden.4100]

She would totally do this again if he doesn't divorce her, she said she wanted four and a third one was a "compromise" with the way she was acting, i have no doubt that she would do this again if OP doesn't divorce her because she is so dismisive of what she did, she forced a baby that he didn't wanted on him. I really OP did divorced her in the end.

[@PeterShipley1]

I got the impression she had the personality type that's not happy unless they have an infant/toddler. once her current kids became more dependent she needed another small child. this personality type will try to pop out a kid every five years till menopause..

[@trinitylane2202]

He definitely should go and get a vasectomy so this doesn't happen again.

[@catharineholton49]

I dont know.. he was softening up to her, and the children would be happier. But can you imagine their sex life after this. ?? No trust, and always wondering if shes done it again. I'm with you, he needs to get away, but it's so messy.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@catharineholton49 if he stays, he better never have sex with her again, i would literaly prefer separate bedrooms. But then again, i hope he served her in the end because i would never trust this woman not to put something ever more messed up to get that baby number 4.

[@captaainleese]

listening to story one, you can't go ahead and make a decision that will impact both you and your partner's lives. also, cutting holes in a condom is pretty much the same as tampering with someone's birth control pills. poor op, that is such a breach of trust. :( also, the wife's friend is terrible for encouraging her.

[@randomaccount-dq1jq]

Poking holes in a condom in alot of places is sexual assault and others as mentioned in the comments treat it as rape. Hopefully the OP did not live in an area where they consider things as "Since your the guy you can't really be a victim" mentality.

[@littlesongbird1]

I can't help my wonder if wifey was a stay home mom while the kids were little and was suppose to return to work once her youngest was in school and the third child as just an excuse not to go get a job.

[@tephrafalls6321]

Right? Baby trapping is one of the worst things a person can do. All of the trust is gone in one blow.

[@GrifoStelle]

@@randomaccount-dq1jq really? I had never heard of this. Does that absolve the guy of the responsibility if the wife's kid?

[@literallycringeidk360]

Literally rape by deception. She fucking raped him. Poor guy.

[@jackspring7709]

NTA. He's married to a spoiled child: he works and also does all the house work and yard work: she screams at him and baby traps him. She's controlling, dishonest, untrustworthy and abusive - and if she doesn't get her way she goes behind his back. He has my sympathies. Also - messing with someone's birth control is a felony, isn't it? Or is it only when a man does it?

[@sheilabracey4679]

you forgot eeeviiilll, but other than that everything is spot on.

[@mbyerly9680]

OP needs to call the best friend's SO and tell him how she convinced OP's wife to baby trap him. And wish him good luck. He'll need it.

[@Kris-zy7is]

Imagine if the sexes were reversed, the man would be in jail. Divorce is heartbreaking & should be used as a last option, but I 100% believe the 1st OP is doing the right thing. She’s a manipulative liar, who will do whatever it takes to get her way.

[@HackiePuffs]

I disagree with divorce should be a last option. It’s better for everyone involved to live separately but happy than to live together and constantly on edge

[@Midnight0Mistress]

Most places, I believe, don't punish guys for that anyways because it is hard to prove.

[@srkh8966]

I’m not sure it matters if it’s a woman-illegal is illegal. While I agree that divorce is inevitable, pretending everything is OK is deceitful

[@Bleg94]

there is no trust towards the wife anymore, what she did IS divorce worthy, as you yourself said, if the genders were reversed he could face jailtime

[@lenawashington3758]

I came here for this comment. I 10000% agree

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: I was prepared to vilify OP for not taking responsibility for his own part, until the holes in the condoms bit. That should be considered rape. Baby trapping and stealthing are disgusting, and abusive in the extreme. I couldn't stay with someone who betrayed my trust that badly. How can you EVER trust her again?

[@justine8387]

In my jurisdiction it is.

[@JayeEllis]

@@justine8387 Yes, I know it is illegal in some places, as it should be. The problem is proving it in a court of law... Near impossible, I'm afraid.

[@toothless3835]

As bad and terrible as it sounds, once he found that out, he should've ordered some of those abortion pills, because if I were him, I would've. This was before Roe V. Wade. He could've gotten them no problem. She done wrong by poking holes in the condoms and going off birth control without telling him. Had she told him she didn't want birth control, he could've gotten his vasectomy. Like why do a procedure if you don't need it. Which is probably why he didn't get it. because she was SUPPOSED to be on birth control because she SAID he was. I'm a woman and if someone tampered with my shit at all, I'd have got straight to the clinic because I would NEVER love the child. It would be cruel to bring a child into the world that you don't want.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I've heard this one before. This is an old one. I've always hoped op would make one more update. I just really want to know what happened when he served her.

[@Xokoy]

I was very disappointed to see no further update on that, but I guess OP didn't see a need for Reddit to know more. The first two posts they were looking for help and advice so I imagine that they didn't actually really want to share their story with us, they just needed help in their situation. Also, sounds like some crazies who thought that women can do no wrong piled in and started attacking OP in the comments of the first post, I imagine that they showed up in the update as well, which, if I were them wouldn't exactly encourage me to come back either. No wonder men don't speak up when they're abused in relationships.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: an agreed number of kids NEEDS to be discussed before getting married. There are so many things that need to be discussed before getting married since it seems like any little thing can start a huge fight and unnecessary drama. How many kids? Sharing a room or living in separate rooms? Yes apparently disagreeing on this can lead to divorce because “you don’t love me enough” since more couples are seeing it a little more logically to have separate bedrooms especially when they’re separate sleeping schedule/work schedules that conflict with a good nights rest. Any remember the story where 0P’s husband was too much of an asshole to leave the bedroom to get ready for work and he had to turn on every light in the bedroom, including the master bathroom, and get dressed in the bedroom instead of going to the guest room to get dressed? Thus constantly waking up his wife? Yeah it just seems better to have separate bedrooms when you’re married but apparently that can be taken like a knife to the heart 🙄 Also the wife going “this is a miracle from God“ No woman! You kept initiating sex to manipulate your way into getting the third kid you feel entitled to have. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The way she tried to gaslight her husband saying it’s his fault she got pregnant because he wasn’t snipped. I’m pretty sure if he did get a vasectomy behind her back while she was pulling all this crap she would’ve blown a gasket and further gaslight her husband into thinking he’s a terrible person because he’s depriving her of the third baby she wants so bad. ATU: Lady you’re selfish. I’m glad OP is leaving her. The wife absolutely should not get away from consequences for what she did. Who’s to say she won’t pull this again when she wants that coveted fourth child she has always dreamed of having when child number three reaches a certain age?

[@sonialinsey8083]

Seems like they did discuss but the wife seems to have changed her mind. I honestly don’t think this is as big of a deal as people are making it, but then again I wouldn’t dream of doing it myself. Like hormones make people do wacky things, it’s called baby fever. And people have babies all the time I guess. If he stays I would definitely get the snip snip and put her on a short leash as far as trust goes.

[@lynnw7155]

But I hate the way OP is doing this. Pretending everything is great, just so he can throw a divorce hand grenade into the middle of his happy family. To me, that's as underhanded as what she did to him. If he's got all his ducks in a row, how long is he going to lie about being a happy family before he presents her with divorce papers? Wait until she's in labor? Until she's home with a new baby and 2 other children? Why is he still living there? Even during the height of the pandemic you could rent an apartment. I think he doesn't really want to divorce, but I see no way he can ever trust her again.

[@VergilTheLegendaryDarkSlayer]

When someone says "this is a miracle from god" You can easily say "so let's return it then"

[@tiawheeler1153]

@@lynnw7155 He might be handling things in a sneaky way, but it seems necessary here... She is manipulative. If she knew what he was planning, she would probably turn up her manipulations and gaslighting by 100. There is no clean way out for OP in this situation. As for her, it doesn't matter. Regardless of when he leaves her, she brought about the situation in which the kids would have to live in a divided household. He doesn't have to be supportive to her after what she did... only support/provide for the kids. Edit: I am sorry but what the OP and his wife has isn't a "happy family". It is the illusion of one that only benefits the expectations of a deceptive and selfish woman.

[@OmniscientlyMe]

@@lynnw7155 You're complaining about basic divorce strategy, especially for men, which have a distinct disadvantage in divorce cases; it's especially critical to have evidence and file first when dealing with someone that manipulative and likely to lie. It's few weeks to a couple months tops to draw up the paperwork and file, normally.

[@maddy8328]

Story 1, she tampered with the condoms, that's like flushing birth control down the toilet. You only wanted 1, and then she'd starts going on about a 3rd? Hell no. Divorce her, op, and maybe file for split custody or full custody for her. You didn't sign up for more kids. She had some nerve calling you selfish, kids are a HUGE work load to take care of and a huge strain on money

[@raleighransom4561]

story 1: what the wife did was disgusting, and she and her friend should be ashamed of themselves, point blank period. kids are not accessories, they're not collectors sets, you don't bring a set number into the world because you want to to the exclusion of your partner's wishes. the part that really stands out to me is the wife telling her husband if he really didn't want kids he should have had a vasectomy. listen, I fully believe that a person who doesn't want children slash doesn't want more children should do everything reasonably possible to prevent that--but OP was operating under the assumption that they were using two separate lines of defense against pregnancy, and SHE sabotaged that! to turn it around as if it was his fault for not also having a medical procedure? like, I fully 100% endorse vasectomies where pregnancy isn't wanted--it is a much more accessible procedure than tubal ligation or other procedures, but I can't imagine that's top of the priority list with two very young kids already when you think you're using two different forms of contraception. I dunno that part just really flew out and grabbed me by the throat, it's so awful to frame it as a problem with him and not a problem with her betrayal.

[@robertx8020]

I agree and I bet the wife (eventhough she made the suggestion) would have been angry when OP would have had a vasectomie! Furthermore I bet there would have been a 4, 5, ect kid by using the same excuses!

[@huinismith]

Yes, that sounded like victim blaming to me.

[@madarawijerathne276]

Op not having vasectomy is totally irrelevant to give major ah judgement to wife. Those are two separate matters.

[@GLoLChibs]

Vasectomies aren't easier to get. Most doctors make men wait, talk to both spouses, explain how it's not actually that easily reversed, and even with kids tell them to think of their spouse. Out of my partner and his friends only one was able to easily get a vasectomy.

[@EgalitarianWoman]

@@GLoLChibs They said it's a more accessible procedure compared to tubal ligation, not that it's easier to schedule. Testicles are an inherently more accessible body part to sterilize vs ovaries or uterus.

[@nikkivonkitty3966]

Story 2: This post hit so close to home. I was in a 5-year relationship (3.5 years was long distance), where it felt like I was the maid and mother in the relationship having to do essentially everything on top of being a graduate student and working part-time. I wanted to leave so badly 6 months after living together due to the emotional manipulation, toxicity, and being treated like a maid. Last month, I finally had the courage to break up with him and everything around me felt light and I was free. Yes, I'm struggling financially (I poured all of my money to keep a roof over our heads while he buys stuff for gaming) and to buy essentials for HIS CAT. But, I know I'll get through it. I can totally relate to OP and the hardships he went, albeit my relationship was only 1/3 of his. So kudos to OP!

[@shanittathompson2039]

Congratulations on leaving that man baby! I bet he was crying the whole time. Lol

[@heathermiller5765]

Kudos to you too Nikki. Hope you’re doing better ☮️💟

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

I'm SO proud of you. Getting out of abusive situations is so so so hard. Way to take the steps for your happiness (:(:

[@rickraber1249]

Good for you for leaving that man-child. It makes me so mad when I hear of some idiot whose life revolves around games.

[@carpediem6431]

Worked with a woman whose son was just finishing medical school. She was telling me that in her sons class, which was split almost evenly between the sexes, over the 5 year program, 17 of the men had girlfriends who “accidentally” became pregnant, meanwhile not a single one of the female dr’s in training accidentally got pregnant. This is a huge issue running through society.

[@pinklemonade8320]

​@@wiggly103 I guess he's using the female med students as a control group since, as you said, they generally don't want to get pregnant. The logic is that, if accidents are rare enough that all the female students are capable of avoiding them, then the reason that the gfs have a significantly higher chance of "accidents" is that these accidents are not really accidents. I agree it's still a sketchy anecdote but I see the point he's trying to make. If we accept his anecdote at face value, then it's also possible that female med students have better birth control regimes than their non-med-student counterparts, or that they're having less sex than their male counterparts. If it really is baby trapping, could male med students even be at higher risk of baby trapping than the general population because they have a good career?

[@rickraber1249]

Well sure, who doesn't want to marry a guy who's going to be a doctor? You'll be set for life. And he'll be stuck with you. Sad.

[@somethingelse4204]

Story 1 was such a betrayal. I genuinely don't see how they come back from that. When you love someone fully, you trust them and they have the opportunity to make you look like such a fool. The OP was beating himself up for not guessing why his wife had the increased libido, but to me, it just shows he fully trusted her. It's not wrong or a bad move to fully trust your partner. Unfortunately, his wife took that trust and annihilated it. This is also an example of why it's not benign if your partner has friends who are terrible people. A good friend would have been appalled and talked her down or warned OP, or both. This hot mess helped OP's wife to blow up her family. What a mess.

[@Buff_Helpy]

I kinda just feel bad kids have to brought up in this dysfunctional mess. That line about living them when they're born is what most people say to trauma victims when trying to make them keep the baby. This whole situation is just so awful. Ironically I really did believe story 2 until the dating a model part.

[@SuperBatSpider]

Her agent is instagram

[@ginathecookie]

To be fair we don't know what kind of model They actually need some pretty but not mythical level models occasionally and also hand, foot, make up, social media models, etc. (Many types) exist. So I'm just "oh, ok," took it at face value and moved on. Like you see a pretty flower and go "oh that's pretty," and keep scrolling. (Get it? Instead of strolling? No? Ok, I'll see myself out.)

[@Buff_Helpy]

@@ginathecookie I'll give you a pity laugh.

[@JDKT002]

"you'll love them when their born" was the same shit people told me 17 years ago. Despite me telling everyone I couldn't handle this, that I never wanted children ever, and was on the verge of a mental breakdown. It's with great shame that I say I was proven 100% correct. I couldn't handle it, did have a mental breakdown (for reasons that didn't become apparent for another 15 years), and haven't seen or spoken to my son in 10 years. It's why I adamantly stress to people that when it comes to parenting, you're either 100% in, or you're not in at all. There's no such thing as half stepping when it comes to raising kids and you cannot force someone to be an enthusiastic parent.

[@ginathecookie]

@@Buff_Helpy :D I'll take it!

[@ian7064]

Story 1: God I'd love another update on this to find out how he broke the news of the divorce. It's so obvious she doesn't care nor regret her actions. She'll probably just do it again to get a 4th kid

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: Reminds me of another reddit post. The guy didn't want children; his girlfriend did. They both stayed together, thinking their relationship would work out. And she tried to babytrap him, thinking he would change his mind about having kids. He didn't. And, after a bunch of crap, they broke up. I wonder how he's doing right now. :/ This story is just SO messed up. Both want kids, but one, OP, just wanted one kid. The fact that the third might be born because Dear Momma decided to tamper with birth control as a whole and deceive her own husband is just heartbreaking and disturbing. She might be able to choose what to do with her body in regards to birth control, but her husband, also, has agency on his own body. If he leaves, she better not cry about it. She brought this on herself. ಠ_ಠ

[@blandoatmeal1273]

Story 1 She baby trapped him into the third kid and as she said she actually wanted four. If nothing else I don't know how you could stay with her without the constant thought of she wants another one will she do this again?

[@UchuKejiMovan]

Friend talked her into ending her marriage. That's some friend

[@RudesMom]

The friend has probably done (or is contemplating) the same thing. Birds of feather and all that.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@RudesMom My thoughts exactly! Birds of a feather flock together.

[@faderenegade6278]

Op: I started acting like everything is ok. She's happy. The kids are happy. Everything is going well. Also Op: Besides the divorce trap card I'll play in two turns.

[@FearMyLadyBits]

I read a nuclearrevenge story where OP caught his wife cheating, and when he confronted her she threatened to take everything (including the kids) if he divorced her. So he "reconciled" with her, and slowly over a couple years he gathered evidence she cheated, quit his job because it was too "stressful" (she was working a nice job anyways), became a SAHD and nurtured a great relationship with the kids. Then when everything was lined up, he found a lawyer and got the house, kids, alimony, everything.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

1) Before you ever confront the person about things found on their phone you need to make sure you have the evidence on yours.

[@BraveryWing26]

Oh god I really wanted to to see the Wife from the first story get the divorce served to her. The OP NEVER posted after that and its so sad to be left in that cliffhanger.

[@SilverInkStaind]

Story one: That falls under sexual assault, legally.

[@julia7200]

I understand why people may think OP is moving too fast. The thing is, OP probably checked out of the relationship a long time ago. I think OP grieved the end of their relationship while still being in the relationship. OP pleaded for change, so I understand why OP „jumped“ into the next relationship.

[@ynmonroe]

Exactly my thought. This wasn't a spontaneous decision. He struggled with pulling the plug on the marriage for years. Nope. Not too soon. And it's not like he jumped right back into marriage after a month.

[@nads3024]

She’s so happy to think what she’s done is forgivable. I imagine baby number 4 was already planned, this time with the excuse “But you were so happy when number 3 was born! I thought you’d be happy again. Does this mean you don’t love our third child as much as our first two?” She’s insane. I have no doubt in my mind that she’s encourage a future daughter in law to do the same if she has a son so she can get grandkids.

[@00Snake77]

Story 1: when trust is gone, the chance of rebuilding it may never happen.

[@kirtemoon529]

At first based on the title I thought it was going to be that one post where the married couple planned on the baby, the dad learns his friend was baby trapped and then goes off the rails accusing his wife of doing the same thing but WOW THIS WAS SO MUCH WORSE

[@CristinaFrank]

The guy who was hesitant about divorcing his slacker wife: My friend had a similar situation with her Long Term boyfriend. He didn't work for years and only did things she requested in the house when threatened with break up. She FINALLY got fed up with the rinse and repeat BS and gave him a deadline to GTFO. Bye Tom! 👋 🤣

[@PeterShipley1]

I had an acquaintance that went through something similar.. when they got engaged she mysteriously got fired from her job she had for the last 12 years. he ended up buying a second house and giving it to her.

[@macylouwho1187]

My son actually thinks this happened to him with his long term girlfriend. She had been seen on Facebook talking to a friend who just had a baby about kids, and the friend was saying how she should have a baby too so their kids could grow up playing together like they did. She agreed it would be nice. Suddenly not long after she’s pregnant-only she was supposedly on birth control pills and he used a condom. It broke, she got pregnant-then disclosed that she “messed up” taking her birth control pills-oops. Pregnant. My son is only 22, and wasn’t ready at all. He was mad, mad like I’ve never seen him. He suspects her but has no proof. So what to do right? Baseless accusations without proof is all he could do and he was on the hook either way for the baby. So he decided to stay for his kid’s sake. I told him to check his condoms but he said “at this point what would it matter? What’s done is done.” So to me the question is-did the condom break because it had holes in it? Could happen right? And she knew that he wouldn’t have sex without one because I drilled that into his head from the time he was a teen and he always had them in the house at all times. And he simply wasn’t ready to be a dad financially or otherwise, so he was intent on protecting himself and said so. So yeah it happens way too often in the world unfortunately. Baby trapping is real thing in so many cases. When my daughter was old enough she went and got the arm implant kind of BC to protect herself and her boyfriend from accidental pregnancy while they both attend university. She doesn’t want anything to derail their plans for their future even though they plan to marry anyway someday. I wish there was something for boys too, to protect themselves from unscrupulous women who would do this sort of thing. Something that couldn’t be tampered with like condoms or nothing as permanent or invasive as a vasectomy. Not every vasectomy can be successfully reversed when someone is ready for kids.

[@GreebleClown]

The reason he should have checked his condoms is because it could be considered rape, depending on the laws where you live. In which case he might not be held responsible for the baby if he doesn’t want to be.

[@jameslyons6655]

Story one. The third child is not the problem. The problem is that he is married to a selfish, untrustworthy creature. Is he in deep? Yes. But tethering yourself to this for the rest of your life is not an option. You cannot forgive a betrayal like this, it’s too huge. You can just eat it, sure, but it will grow in you like a cancer and you will end up despising yourself for your own weakness. Divorce, share custody, co parent making your arrangements through an app and live an authentic life, alone or with a partner who is trustworthy and sane.

[@threeducks157]

I remember this one I found it so sad that alot of people parroted the wife with the vasectomy thing ignoring the wife blatant abuse. I first i thought this was going to be a story like mine lol as then fiancee now wife got pregnant despite birth control and a condom. Cheating never crossed my mind but i was puzzled lol as a decade prior at 22 i was told it would be hard for me to have kids, turns out that doctor was dead wrong and my new doctor rather humorously told me "son your swimmers are the equivalent of the kool-aid man busting down wall s d shouting oh yea" lol as not only did i beat the odds of contraceptive failure but we got lovely quadruplets.

[@usagi18]

Lol.... thank you, I just imagined white version of the Kool-aid man. Now I will never see him the same way

[@dagnytheartist]

The first story made me sad, but your story made me laugh lol. Congrats on the quadruplets!

[@EvonneLindiwe]

Quadruplets 😊❤️

[@tintinismybelgian]

For story 1, three isn't a compromise if the third pregnancy is twins.

[@Damaaskrose]

Story 2 - "What do you think about OP being in a new relationship? Some people are saying that he moved on too quickly". OP said it himself... that we are here for too brief a time. Is his new relationship going to last? Who knows? One thing is certain, it won't if he doesn't give it a chance. Opportunity arrives... stuff the timing, grab it with both hands and enjoy.

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

I love this!

[@toastykitty1448]

Story 2 is so close to home. My relative/good friend is going through this right now. Thankfully they’re not married but I’m so worried the ex is going to say something to get them to come running back. It’s getting better and my relative is so much happier now. They’ve said so themselves and are going out more and FINALLY seem to be enjoying life. I just hope they keep this up, they deserve so much more than what they were getting.

[@JDKT002]

My ex was in a similar situation when we first met, she was dating a guy and they both lived with his wheelchair bound father and took care of him. Or rather SHE took care of the father and BF, and he didn't do a fucking thing to help. She was basically a live in maid and caretaker. Sadly she wasn't happier afterward, she kept falling into the same self-destructive habits despite me trying to pull her up out of the shit pile she had gotten so comfortable living in. I finally broke up with her 4 years later, and she ran back to the exact same situation she was in when we first met. Some people don't want to save themselves, they want a hero to swoop in and save them from their own bad decisions. But I absolutely made the right choice by cutting her loose before she dragged me down into the depths with her.

[@toastykitty1448]

@@JDKT002 sorry you went through that. On top of all of this with my relative I also had a bipolar alcoholic mother who I had to cut off for my own good. I knew I couldn’t do anything for her and was proven that 100% over when I saw my sister tried to take care of her and she got dragged into our moms messes. Thankfully my sister got out with nothing too bad happening to her. Best thing we can do for ourselves is to find healthy ways to move on and take solace in the healthy relationships we do have. Hug/handshake/pat on the back or whatever else you’re comfortable with.

[@JDKT002]

@@toastykitty1448 wow very similar to my own alcoholic mother who always has to make everything about her. My brother tried several times to let her back into his life, only to get burned by her angry, bitter, self-involved behavior. I didn't speak to her for 7 years until recently, all she did was show me I had made the right decision by doing so. Her opening lines consisted of calling me a disappointment and saying she's glad my grandparents weren't alive to see this. It made it really easy to put the final nail in that coffin. The last thing i said to her was "This will be the last thing I ever say to you: I won't be at your funeral". So hugs or whatever other preference you like right back to you. :)

[@toastykitty1448]

@@JDKT002 Mothers right? XD last time I heard anything about mine it was during her mothers funeral last year(via Facebook) that my mom didn’t even know her mom was dead cuz the night b4 she got into a drunken bar fight and then got into a fight at the jail with one of the officers. Hadn’t seen her in person for almost a decade but recently had a dream where I called her a wh#*e to her face. Good dream :). Isn’t it amazing how much they can delude themselves? If anyone asks mine she’ll say she’s a great mother who’s EVIL EX-HUSBAND turned her kids against her. And how they’re still alive? I mean really? How? I mean they look awful but MAN HOW ARE THEY STILL LIVING???? And sorry you had to go through that. I hope you had someone to lean on. I don’t even know that much about you and I can see that you’re not a disappointment. Sure you’re not ‘insert whatever crazy expectations she had’ but she’s DEFINITELY no prize winner either. Like really? Has she seen herself or her life? Anyway, hope things are going good 😊

[@JDKT002]

@@toastykitty1448 damn are you like a long lost sibling or something? I could easily think you're talking about my own mother haha. She insincerely "apologized" for being an awful mother after I blew up on her. Continues to blame my dad and bring him up 25 years after they divorced. Hates his new wife despite having never met her. Blame them for her kids wanting nothing to do with her, despite the fact she moved out of state almost 10 years before my dad had ever met her. Not to mention the fact my mom had remarried, divorced, and remarried again in that time. I hope you were able to find some kind of closure and are doing good as well. I certainly am, I've never been more sure of myself my entire adult life.

[@malindacombs8609]

I actually hope the OP does another update once the divorce is served. I feel sad for both sides honestly. She massively broke trust for being selfish. I feel bad for him because he had been honest & clearly loves his family.

[@bautistalover]

It’s been 2 years since he posted I’m not sure he will.

[@cutekitty1212]

My opinion is simple and unpopular. If a women gets pregnant and she doesn't want it then she doesn't have to despite what the guy says. HOWEVER if the guy doesn't want a kid I don't think he should have to pay child support and can move on. People get very bitter raising a kid they don't want and it's not good.

[@DisneyChar]

I used to have that argument with people, you just go in circles literally anything they say the man should do to prevent pregnancy can also apply to the woman, except only one of them can back out after the fact.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree with you actually. Reproductive Coercion is NEVER fair to both genders. And no amount of double standards can or should change that.

[@XiraKira13]

Story 1 makes me think of a quote: “ motherhood is a mental illness” (from the movie hustlers)

[@lonelypizzaslice4845]

On story 1, depending on where he is, that could easily be considered rape: tampering with birth control methods (both the pills and condoms) changes the pretenses of the consent (ie: he consented to sex beleiveing they had two methods of birth control, meanwhile she had sabotaged both). Though rape is barely taken seriously with women, much less likely for a man. This is a terrible circumstances for the guy.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

Glad story 2 ended well. Had the same issues with my ex left soon as she cheated on me with a co worker. She was resentful cuz I told her she needed to get a job since her grandparents were about to lose their house (they were paying her half of the bills and gave her a credit card she always maxed out) and I got a less demanding job that didn't pay well but I went from 80 hr wks to 30 hr wks so I could go back to school and feel less like shit. It took 5 yrs of putting my life back together but I'm slowly rebuilding my savings again, I got my cats, finished school that I couldn't do until after covid and got a job that pays well that's adjacent to my schooling. No new partner been focusing on myself and building up friendship and trying to figure out why I have terrible taste in women.

[@KHTimeProtecter]

I was actually born in a similar way. My mom wanted a third child and to try for a Pisces girl so she got pregnant at the correct time without my father knowing. He even suggested an abortion but Mom adamantly refused. Dad felt guilty after and I was basically a daddy’s girl growing up. Yes it was fucked up. And it taught me that three kids it too many so the most I’d like are two.

[@virginiaherman2414]

I'd say it's less about three being too many, though that could have been the case for your parents, and more about the fact of one partner thinking it's fine to dictate the number of children without the other partner's agreement.

[@KHTimeProtecter]

@@virginiaherman2414 Well it's not just that. It's more about I don't want to deal with the "oldest, middle, and youngest siblings" dynamic again. Especially when each of us are three years apart in age. Having that kind of age gap is fine for two, but I don't want a child who could be six years younger than the oldest sibling. Though my sister may be a special case because of her narcissism.

[@virginiaherman2414]

@@KHTimeProtecter You make a good point about the age gap. I'm the middle child, and four years younger than the oldest. My sister is five years younger, and I don't think the two of us were ever very close to our brother until we were all adults.

[@haraldjensen3935]

Last story is almost like a mirrior of my life.... with regards to my ex wife. She was extremely surprised when I suddenly walked out on her after 17 years. Best decision I've ever made though

[@Swnsasy]

This is actually a crime in the US.. I could never ever do something like this and he should take those texts and show them. She's now trying to gaslight him so much. This is just so disgusting to do and I hate this for him. I could not ever stay with someone that could be this selfish, absolutely manipulative and gross... Second story. I've raised my kids, have a PhD but I'm a house wife because my husband and I talked and he was all for it. I pay all the bills, he doesn't know what's in our bank account, savings account or credit cards because as long as it goes through when he swipes he's ok.. We both clean, he's an Executive Chef so I don't cook. We watch movies, we talk, we laugh, we go for walks. She's not depressed, she's LAZY!!!

[@keplersdream901]

In some states, not all, unfortunately.

[@Swnsasy]

@@keplersdream901 Oh no, they changed that law about 10yrs ago, it's all 50 States but they call it something different in each, lol.. That makes no damn sense though.. Hehe

[@theminisimmer]

That second comment you made is not OK. I'm in a situation where I can't work, can't properly make friends or even partake in hobbies that I once enjoyed because of depression. I personally have made efforts in the direction of getting well, but I don't think you have the right to say "it's not depression she's just lazy" unleess you've experienced it in that way.

[@Swnsasy]

@@theminisimmer Sweetheart, I ABSOLUTELY understand what you're saying about YOURSELF... I, as a person that suffered with depression and self harm, I'm 45, and suffered through a mother that allowed men to molest my sister and I for a crack rock, stabbed me just under my eye over me not wanting to eat another hotdog, beating us with belts in our face that we couldn't go to school for weeks at a time in order to heal, picked MYSELF UP, received my PhD in Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior and now you're telling ME, I am this horrible person for saying, I DON'T THINK IT'S DEPRESSION, SHE'S LAZY?? That simple statement is that horrible to you? I feel so bad that something so simple can make you feel so bad.. I really, really hope that you are able to get better help so that things so simple as this no longer hurts you inside... I've never ever once, not once, came to another person that said, I don't think it's depression, she sounds lazy and said, OMGOSH YOU'RE SO HORRIBLE!! You really do need to stop and think about that for a moment. I'm not the only person that said, she's straight up lazy because if you actually listened to the story, 17 YEARS of just not wanting to do, then give him to shut him up, and the things he said she does, it sounds nothing like depression. MORE IMPORTANTLY though, I'm glad that you posted what you did to me instead of an asshole that would make fun of you.. You need to get some more help hon, you really do if such a simple sentence causes you to be that bothered. I wish you so, so very much healing beautiful and you can do it, you got this! ♥️

[@dakotasan8719]

Yeah, this, right here, is grounds for a divorce. And OP needs to sit his wife down and tell her straight up that what she did is WRONG.

[@jeannebuttons5301]

17 Years Overdue: OP needs to sit down with a lawyer, get the papers in order then have her served by a third party; OP also needs to refuse to have any contact with her except through the lawyer. S obviously has had a long enough time to keep you wrapped around her little finger, and she knows that if she plays on your heart strings she won't lose OP because he's the meal ticket.

[@InDeathWeLove]

I would go immediately into document everything and get all the proof secured and get a lawyer involved.

[@Datgirlsuga]

I feel so bad for the unborn baby. I wonder how he will interact with the baby and if the other kids will resent the baby for breaking up the family.

[@Russman67]

I'm not sure how they could have had a happy resolution, given how the wife betrayed him. I feel bad for this child. When they ask "why mommy and daddy aren't together?" how do you answer that without making the kid feel like shit?

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I know right? This is why I despise people who betray their own partner and hurt their own children to get what they want. The lowest forms of life you could ever meet in my opinion.

[@rakky9694]

Story 1: A kid doesn't need a sibling to grow up healthy and happy. TBH It's not detrimental but it worsens a bit the situation. With every kid comes way more expenses, the attention gets divided more, golden child syndrome... Not to say that having siblings is awful, but it's painted by some people as if it needs to happen because if not the kid will be alone and miserable.

[@yaff1851]

Story 1: It’s the same as any breach of trust. If you’re asking wether you should trust the one who betrayed you, the answer can only be you shouldn’t. But at the end of the day, it’s your call either way. I would file, even if I did consider reconciliation. At the very least, the wife needs to understand that the continuation of marriage is a privilege not a right.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Exactly! I would probably leave too. And I'm deeply disturbed by the people in the comments who think similarly to OP's wife who thinks he's selfish and petty and that he needs to man up and give her what she wants and be a good husband and father. ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ First of all, OP IS a good husband and father. He only wanted one child, but he compromised on having two and he seems to be very happy with his two children. Secondly, OP's not the selfish and narcissistic one here, his wife is. She does have a right not to use her birth control pills, but she DOESN'T have ANY right to poke holes in OP's condoms in order to get a baby out of him. This is even worse than cheating in my opinion. Can you imagine if it was the other way around? People would drag OP through the mud and rightfully so. And I heard that it's illegal in quite a few places. And Finally, OP is FAR from petty for wanting a divorce. He had been betrayed by his wife. And she probably doesn't know this yet, but she also damaged her children, especially her unborn child because when the divorce inevitably happens, the first and second may just blame the third for the divorce. And if he stays, it'll only prove to the wife, that she was right all along and will try again for baby #4 without OP's consent and may not even stop at her desired 4 children. I honestly wouldn't put it past her to want to give birth to as many children as her body will allow. I've heard that some women actually have done this. TLTR: OP is DEFINITELY not wrong to go through with the divorce after baby is born. His wife is a selfish and narcissistic woman who betrayed his trust regardless of her biological clock ticking. And those poor children are going to get caught in this horrible mess she made. My advice to OP is tell your children before she does, make it clear that it's not their fault or the baby's fault, have DNA tests just in case of cheating and try to talk to a lawyer about suing her for birth control tampering. Oh, and get as much evidence as you can get. Family courts can be extremely bias towards mothers and the more evidence you have, the better.

[@SherriLyle80s]

Story 1: Poor OP. As much as his wife has the right to not take BC, he has a right to functional BC that hasn't been tampered with. Shame on her.

[@alexshaw8167]

Everyone is saying this, and I absolutely agree; but as much as it’s her right to choose if she’s taking birth control, she also has the responsibility of communicating that she has stopped to her sexual partner.

[@felsouthsam1493]

17 years like that ?!? OP is a saint !

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

He sure is! I'm still figuring out what to do with my life and even I think 17 is a long time to figure out what you want to do with your life.

[@mariem8705]

S1-😬yikes, that’s rough. I get that op is probably taking his lawyers advice, but it must suck to pretend everything’s alright.

[@draco806]

Story 1: I think there is no going back after the trust has been broken like this. As she has shifting the blame. Trying to quilt him.

[@dagnytheartist]

Story 1: I feel so sorry for the kids. Hearing that the kids are "excited for their new sibling" in this context just makes me sad :(. While I understand OP's actions, I think it's cruel to make the kids think everything is gonna be fine while this is happening. With kids and divorce, I think it's better for the kids to have the bandaid ripped off instead of leaving them in a false sense of security. But yeah, everything OP says to the little kids is going to be told to OP's wife, so I understand even though I don't like it. I hope he eventually does/did divorce her.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

I hate when people say “a miracle from God”. Someone tried that nonsense idea on me in a situation that involved adultery and a betrayed & deeply hurt family. I said “the devil had a hand in that since a miracle would not hurt so many people.” The person was shocked into silence. I was not going to entertain such denial and delusional thoughts.

[@personneici2595]

Reproductive coercion is so devastating and harms entire families. It happened in my family. It's never acceptable. It's abuse.

[@paden1865able]

When you set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm, you end up alone in the burn ward.

[@chinagirlbecka7446]

Hello Mark! I've been listening since sometime last year and just love how you really think about the stories and try to give good inputs on the OPs life. Thank you for being such an awesome person!

[@john4321-x3b]

Story 1:divorce her ass she planned a mistake child and op clearly didn’t want another child and she made the decision to have another against op wishes and expects them to be happy

[@PeterShipley1]

Story 2: report the lawyers to the bar. The firm will be begging you to take a refund

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 1: reminds me of when there was a “stealthing” pandemic in uni populations where men would slip condoms off mid sex

[@RobDaCajun]

1st story. If he had a vindictive sense of humor. Then he would have woke her up saying that we have to talk. That he had been sleeping with another woman at his office and she was “suddenly” pregnant. That he doesn’t know how that was possible since he was using the condoms from the house. Imagine the shocked Pikacho Face the wife would have had.

[@happymama2793]

My ex fiance and I broke up. He is also the father of my 3 almost 4 yr old. He was very good at keeping a roof over our heads and food in our stomach but he didn't care about my emotions, didn't like helping me around the house, and often spent money we needed for our house and son on himself before things we needed. He doesn't lack money. He's about to pay off a 40k car after having it for under a month. I've grown cold and distant to him Because in many ways I resent him. His reason for the break up is because I argue with him. Yes, I do. Because asking him nicely never gets him to understand. He only cares about my emotions when I'm suicidal and doesn't care about the steps it takes to Get there. He told me that me having postpartum depression isn't something he should have to deal with or something that affects him. I think it's obvious why I'm short with him. He wants a live in maid that is always smiling and a human with depressions, cptsd, ppd, etc doesn't live up to that.

[@messinalyle4030]

Glad you are shut out of him.

[@Argonisgema]

for the first story, its gonna suck when the third kid finds out he or she is the reason mom and dad are no longer together and he other two sibling be resent there third brother/sister.

[@kristinewatson3702]

Feigned helplessness is abusive. He needs to walk away and let her sort out her own life or find another person to support her chosen lifestyle.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2: I don't think he moved on too quickly. He'd already been out of love with her for a while. Most guys just cheat instead of bothering to go through the fuss of a divorce. I actually kind of respect this guy!

[@shantelygarcia3650]

As bad as OP feels, he’s not in the wrong. She broke his trust. Who in their right mind baby traps somebody!?

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I know right? This is worse than cheating in my opinion? Can you imagine if it was the other way around? OP would be dragged through the mud and rightfully so. And the fact her friends were in this also proves that birds of a feather flock together.

[@namename2040]

Story 1 What OPs wide did was insane he should leave her. If she was willing to do that what else would she do to get her way? If you don't want the child relinquish your rights. Depending on where you live her tampering with the condoms and lying about birth control could be illegal.

[@theconfusedvampire]

Story 1: Remember, she said she wants FOUR. If he stays she WILL do it again.

[@trinitylane2202]

If he decides to stay he should absolutely go and get a vasectomy because he obviously can't trust her.

[@DisneyChar]

@@trinitylane2202 then divorce when she cheats to get knocked up. Could be a good choice if it's an at fault area.

[@fhuber7507]

2... OP wasted 17 years + with the wrong woman.

[@melle-d9971]

i think for story 1 that qualifies as marital rape. that the same as a man saying he's been snipped but hasn't or poking holes in his own condoms.

[@DWPersianExcursion]

She absolutely changed everything......🥺

[@KateKanenator]

Story 2 - About OP's new gf: the more time you spend around conventionally hot people, the less relevant looks are to what you find attractive.

[@cheskydivision]

Op you file for divorce. You can parent your children without being married. Get a vasectomy. Wife is all happy and sweet now. It will end after the baby is born and what will she do when she wants baby number 4. Especially considering op is the sole income.

[@DudeEM]

Story 1: what’s the difference between what OP’s wife did to stealing OP’s credit card to buy that luxury bag she has been throwing tantrums on just because OP always says “no?”

[@yourgiirlm3l]

1S: the wife is horrible and disgusting. 1 file for a divorce 2 get a vasectomy bc if OP decides to stay she will 100% pull this again

[@maryseflore7028]

Story 2: It sounds like OP's wife has dependent/avoident personality disorder. I have it myself, and recognize the patterns 🤫 Unfortunately, there's not much that can be done for that disorder, I think his idea of paying her spousal support is probably the best one all around. People like us are, unfortunately, unable to totally provide for ourselves. (And it sucks, too!)

[@HaruDoneYet]

I had a similar idea of some type of disorder. Edit: also I’m sorry you and others have to live with this and I sincerely wish you the best

[@MimosaRose]

Story 1- the true victims here are the kids, especially the new baby. I understand the breech of trust, but the kids are going to bare the brunt of the situation and that poor baby, who had no say in any of this, could grow up knowing that their existence caused their parents to divorce and that dad didn’t want them. Just sad.

[@laurenmentink7401]

Hello Mark. I take the time out of my day to listen to your videos because you take time daily to craft them. When my life gets overwhelmed with anger and sorrow you bring me joy, comfort and a smile. Poppy also brings these things when I think of her. In the story with the wife who did not want to work, using the possibility of being depressed is just a bad excuse. How do I know this? I have severe depression and working helped with that, until I worked in Call Center. I don't know who was worse, the customers or the employers. I would have called her out on her lack of looking for work. It might be a good conversation to have. Compassion mixed with truth to get to the bottom of her lack of trying. Peace.

[@hojmatros5102]

I'm so tired of people claiming that men can't be victims of manipulation or abuse. That all men are inherently dishonest and selfish by nature, and any domestic issues they have are either fake, self-inflicted or deserved. I'm a feminist, and the movement is supposed to be about equal rights, not revenge against all men for the actions of their ancestors. Yes, womens rights are very important (obviously) and need to take center-stage to fight against the culture that forces women to the sidelines. But that doesn't mean we have to give blind support to all narcissistic and psycho- or sociopathic women just because their victims are men.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yes! You're spot on with The Feminist Movement. Thank you. ❤️ As a young feminist, myself, words cannot describe how happy I am to have someone not only explain who feminism actually means, but also make it clear that it doesn't and shouldn't support psychopathic, sociopathic or narcissistic women.

[@exikat]

Reminder; tampering with birth control is a form of rape. IF YOU AND YOUR PARTNER BOTH CONSENT TO SEX UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS AND YOU UNDERMINE ONE SUCH CONDITION, THAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT REGUARDLESS OF GENDER AND THAT INCLUDES POKING HOLES IN CONDOMS. Even if it appears consentual at the time, it wasn't because you deliberately altered the act WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT.

[@thedestroyasystem]

OP, think about it this way: she doesn’t WANT three kids. She wants four. She knows full well you didn’t want that many, yet she chose to sabotage your birth control and she isn’t sorry about it in the slightest. What happens if you stay with her? That validates her actions. She gets to keep her husband, AND have the kid she wanted, even though she knows you didn’t consent to having that child. She faces zero consequences for that massive betrayal of trust, and gets exactly what she wanted. My question is, then: what’s stopping her from doing it again?

[@zachf748]

That is so far beyond unacceptable. Your wife is absolutely despicable. Only an absolute psychopath would do that. She clearly doesn’t respect you and your wishes *_at all._* You cannot stay with someone *_that_* manipulative.

[@pelgervampireduck]

story 1: what she did is unforgivable. he should have taken screenshots of the conversation as evidence for the divorce.

[@Citizenesse8]

As a woman, I find this reprehensible. As a human being, I find this reprehensible. That man should run and get custody of his kids and never see her again. He should let his whole family know and her family know what she did and how she planned it. I couldn't even imagine living in the same household and sleeping in the same bed as someone who forced someone to have a child that they repeatedly said they didn't want.

[@alenasenie6928]

Story 2: that is not depression, is 17 years of still acting like a child, fully depending on others. I was depressed, and you know when you are and you don't want to say it, but i knew it was not a permanent state.

[@narugirl8653]

Story 2: that relationship has been dead to him for years, he's just gotten the closure. I don't think he's moving on too quickly

[@Heydodoakskdkdjf]

I hope we get an another update for story 1. He feels guilty only because he is a better person than his lying, manipulative, and abusive wife. He deserves to be safe and healthy just like any other victim. Hopefully this won't hurt the third baby's relationship with him, but perhaps a divorce settlement and co-parenting outside of marriage will make things easier on him, especially with evidence proving to the court that the wife is harmful. If she's like that as a WIFE, I can't imagine how she would treat her own kids as a mother!

[@InfernalPume]

is no one gonna bring up that tampering with birth control is considered sexual misconduct. yeah yeah roll your eyes say it doesnt count whatever- legally it does. do not go to counseling with someone who can be accused of SA. do not call what happened anything other than SA. do not sign the birth certificate.

[@serpentmaster1323]

Story 1. Holy crap. I hope the child only finds out about the details when they’re old enough to understand it was their mother’s betrayal and not them that caused this.

[@PeterShipley1]

story 2 : if the genders were switched everybody's advice would be to pack his bags and throw him out the door

[@CensorshipVictim]

Exactly! This

[@KittenUndercover]

Definitely need an update on story 1

[@madisonl3401]

It's almost Friday and I can't wait! 🥰🥰🥰

[@nela3986]

The first story is so sad... It was so perfect... And then because she couldn't take a no on a third baby and betrayed her husband all the kids are going to have a broken home...