I Chose My Hospitalized Step-Sister Over My Bio-Sister On HER WEDDING DAY! r/Relationships

[@justjoancanada]

Story 1. It’s a no win situation. What would have happened if the step-daughter died? The thing is, nobody knew how serious her injuries were.

[@savantfool7123]

the moment she was okay they could have at least tried being there. But no one fucking bothered. They only suddenly cared when dan dared go no contact with them. Like how dare she be sad her father didnt even bother to try after the surgery when all was okay.

[@tokonunya8301]

@@savantfool7123 A fractured back is actually pretty serious. She nearly died. She was probably in a lot of pain and had just gone through something traumatic. She needed her parents there. The amount of people calling this guy an asshole for not abandoning his daughter in the hospital astound me. If I was the bio-sister who was getting married, I'd be sad and upset that my dad wasn't there but I would understand that his loved one nearly died and he needs to be with them. I certainly wouldn't go no contact. Sometimes shitty things just happen, it's not a conspiracy. And on a practical note, back surgeries aren't exactly out patient procedures. By the time it was all said and done, it might just have been to0 late for them to drive back and get there in time. And I imagine neither one of them would have been in any state to drive. Would you rather they "proved" their love by dying in a car crash on the way to the wedding? Edit: grammar

[@serpentmaster1323]

⁠@@tokonunya8301 Exactly what I was thinking. All they knew is that is was a horse accident and she was at the hospital. Maybe they aren’t doctors and couldn’t do anything to ‘help’ but they also didn’t know if she was going to be *alive* when they got back from the wedding if they had continued to it, not to mention how can you focus on walking one daughter down the isle when you have no idea how close to death the other is? Even if they can’t help with doing the surgery he can calm his wife, and together they can deal with and understand the paperwork while both of them are fraut with worry. As for the drive back after the hospital- anyone who feels they aren’t fit to drive- SHOULD NOT DRIVE. PERIOD. Anyone who says otherwise is saying that someone else should only be uncomfortable but also put other’s lives at risk in the process. Sorry that is objectively wrong. If there was some other family friend that was able to support the wife at the hospital, then the wife could have called them perhaps(and Im not convinced that she objectively should have called someone else instead of him), but once a good dad is in the know he will be there for his child- and unfortunately he had to choose between one who was holding an important celebration and one whose life may have been in danger. I understand why he chose the one he chose, but all the comments acting like that choice goes away if he was already at the venue is probably wrong. If they were both there the sister(OP) would have been able to stay. But they weren’t, and its sounds like they weren’t expected to be. At the same time I feel terrible for the poor bride. Not just for the isle but for the pictures too. She has every right to cut them out of her life after this if only to be free of the pain, if she’s already so unfriendly with OP’s step sister that she’s not understanding about her dad’s impossible choice. I wish she was tho. Truly, one of the most the most awfully sad NAH. For me.

[@serpentmaster1323]

@@savantfool7123No, she’s allowed to be sad. The bride has *every right to be FURIOUS*. But just because it is now clear the stepsister is going to be ok, doesn’t mean you’re instantly ok as a parent. For many people stress has to dissipate. Under no circumstances should anyone who feels unable to drive, drive. That’s how people die.

[@Chimpwanna]

@@savantfool7123 Look, I honestly think it's too hars saying ''nobody bother'' like, It's a near death situation of his daughter. While I do agree that it would be better doing the stoic decision of going to the weeding, both of them probably got mentally devasted, so It's a least understandable. I'm 100% sure that you would be tempted to do the same if it was you in their situation.

[@Rukiah1]

Story 1: NAH. I can understand OP and dad turning around since they were worried about stepsister. But Dan sounds like she's had past experience of dad putting her on the back burner and this was his final chance. Sad that there was an accident on the day of her wedding but from her reaction I don't think this is a one-off. Glad she and OP talked it out though.

[@helenlewis2510]

I feel like it’s a no win situation for story 1, no matter what they chose to do.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

I know. The first few comments about how they shouldn’t have bothered being with the step sister in the hospital because the wedding mattered more? Like no. Do these people not understand that just because it wasn’t life threatening doesn’t mean they should just leave

[@Raaslen]

Yep

[@llamabrat07]

All the YTA commenters wanted OP’s dad to be a nervous anxious wreak at the wedding while he worried about his step-daughter in the hospital from a riding accident that sounded very serious. They also wanted to leave the step-mom to be worried at the hospital for hours while her partner of the past nearly decade (this is including the time they were dating) is at a wedding. Did the step-mom even have any family nearby that could have come on short notice to be there for her? What if the accident had been serious. The step-mom would have had to hear that news with nobody there to support her.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@definitelyarealperson248 they actually never heard that it wasn’t life threatening. If stepmother sounded frantic, they probably didn’t give the details of her condition at all or tried to but couldn’t (or they couldn’t understand her). They probably didn’t know it was life threatening, the redditors just assumed they did because the doctors said that when they were there. I forgot the word for it, but it’s a common thing. When people know of events in a show or story before the characters do, they assume the characters need to know this too.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

@@TsukiKageTora when they got to the hospital i think the doctor mentioned that it wasn’t. But I’m not sure. And she still had a broken back. So it wasn’t nothing. OP did say that it may have been possible to get to the wedding at that stage but uber wasn’t really a thing and she was in no space to drive

[@OZARKMOON1960]

The only person who was an AH was the mom of the birthday boy scheduling the hell out of a bunch of three year old children! Good god - OP did the right thing. She was already bored as hell and stressed, imagine how those kids felt? That mom may want the 'perfect photos' but not this way - sacrificing the sanity of little ones and their parents!

[@brigidtheirish]

To quote my dad when I showed him the story: "Wait. A two-hour party for a three-year-old?! Presumably with similarly-aged guests??? "That's not a party. It's a marathon."

[@judyjohnson9610]

Mark said it perfectly..." three-year-olds? They're three-year-olds? " Right. You just don't do that. Kids just wanna have fun and eat goodies

[@heathermiller5765]

I mean maybe one group photo of all the kids together, but I would stop at the one so all the kids could enjoy the party 🥳

[@debl3063]

And who plans something in the first ten minutes? If mom didn't consider the fact that people might get lost or be a little late in her strict scheduling, that's on her. I make an effort to be on time, but there should be at least 10-15 minutes of time in the schedule at the beginning for people to arrive. She stressed her guests out the minute they walked into the party.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@debl3063 *THIS.* Especially when *toddlers* are involved. I have *yet* to meet parents of toddlers who are on time for *anything.*

[@samoanjoseph1457]

"I get irrationally angry when cake is involved. Cake is life." That actually explains perfectly why that party sucked from a three year old perspective, Mark. That party was ruined the second that someone got it into their head that three year olds enjoy playtime being interrupted every ten minutes by photo sessions, OP couldn't have ruined it if she tried.

[@immapotato1]

any display food on a kids birthday is a stupid idea

[@dizzysdoings]

Any display food anywhere is stupid!

[@BritInvLvr]

Ice cream and cakey cake!

[@scheneli000]

I think you mean any age’s perspective haha

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Why didn't they have the photographer take pictures of the kids WHILE they were playing with their toys??!!!

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

Hungry, tired three-year-olds who are looking longingly at toys and a buffet, and the hostess demands photo shoots? Trying to herd cats would be a RELIEF. Wait, this guy demands OP buys things for him, throws a big fit if he's denied, and then wants to accuse OP of financial abuse? Why is OP talking to this... thing?

[@vulpixle9659]

My cats can be hearded with wet food seriously shake a can for them and they all come up to me meowing for the wet food except Casper she really can’t meow

[@judyjohnson9610]

She mentioned that she still had debts to pay off. That makes him even worse! If you have debt, you tighten the belt and stop buying frivolous things

[@dizzysdoings]

Glad I'm not the only one who thought about herding cats!😂

[@jakeand9020]

LOL, the three year olds from story 2 were more well behaved than the thirty year old from story three.

[@grinningweirdo4888]

Story 2: having fancy cookies that can’t be eaten at a child’s party sounds down right mean

[@AnymousScreams]

I've broken an arm falling off a horse as a younger teenager, and I'm in my late 20's now. The horse got spooked by a bicyclist and I lost control. I'm lucky I was young enough to have the arm full heal,because it broke a bone. That fall could have left the sister paralyzed or dead if the horse was scared enough. Horses are large, living cars. They're not to be taken lightly of on a horse. I never rode a horse again after my fall. I'd be worried if my friend who rides horses fell and went to a hospital enough to not go to a wedding. Distress is illogical. I'm not seeing anyone being an asshole here, but the older sister clearly has had enough.

[@GiordanDiodato]

I feel like her reaction was way too far.

[@briansmaller7443]

I knew a girl who fell off a horse when it stumbled and rolled over her. She ended up a quadraplegic.

[@pinkmonkeybird2644]

The OP’s sister only “broke her back”? That’s pretty serious to me, and yeah, medical emergencies always take precedence.

[@damien678]

​@@pinkmonkeybird2644 yeah those commenters are honestly insane, especially since the sis was lucky bc it could have been disabling or *deadly*

[@dolleyes9232]

@@GiordanDiodato i mean. think about if that was a situation you were in? would you just ignore the fact that your sister could die and go to the wedding? or would you go to the er to at least be with them, even if you "arent a doctor"?

[@damien678]

"are you gonna perform the surgery" is kind of a f_cking insane response to someone wanting to prioritise a family member that just got rushed to hospital, while horse riding no less!!! ffs she had a spinal fracture!!!!! which could have been DEADLY!!!!!!!

[@melodysmusicaladventures596]

RIGHT that person is clearly never had A family member or friend injured

[@damien678]

​@@melodysmusicaladventures596 I honestly wouldn't wanna go to a wedding even if it was a routine surgery on my partner, because if he died (all surgery carries that risk) and I wasn't there it would haunt me for the rest of my days. And the sister got an injury from a horse that was serious, but that she luckily will be able to fully recover from

[@floraposteschild4184]

Additionally, next of kin often need to be there to make key medical decisions.

[@someanon1984]

Seriously. Some redditors act like they have no family...

[@AzraelThanatos]

And with the OP not being sure if they were stable enough to drive after that...the father would be in a worse condition. Hell, despite everything, it may have been that neither of them were fit to drive to the hospital with that going on.

[@messinalyle4030]

Story 3: Is OP's father more important than her greedy, manipulative boyfriend--not even her husband? Yes, the f@$% he is! Boyfriend needs to become even less important to her and become an ex-boyfriend.

[@hex9061]

Story 1 Comments would have been hoping down Dad's throat if he left his Step Daughter in the hospital to attend a wedding when we were told the girl's accident could have been fatal, not to mention they seem to want the emotionally unstable OP shaken by the events to somehow get there to the wedding by driving or going on their own despite being 18 and probably not having their own car since she carpooled. If they attended the wedding as if nothing happened all those commenters would have bitched about why they felt the need to go to the wedding as they had a kid in the hospital who could've died.

[@melodysmusicaladventures596]

EXACTLY

[@floraposteschild4184]

Yes, were redditors taking crazy pills that day? Can't think of one of their judgements I have disagreed with more.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

Yeah, those comments are legitimately insane. A 3 hour drive is more than a thought. I can't imagine either of them being in a state to drive.

[@emanx222]

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE

[@tabeechey]

What on earth are these people thinking? That girl is as much his daughter as his bio daughter! She was badly injured! Totally unreasonable bridezilla energy from the people acting like the bride should have been a priority no matter what happens in the world.

[@LilChuunosuke]

I feel like the YTA votes on *Story 1* were WAY too harsh. A spinal fracture from a horseback riding injury? OP and her dad probably rushed over because they thought she was going to *die.* that's not a dramatic conclusion to reach. Horseback riding injuries and spinal injuries are no joke. They're OFTEN fatal.

[@xElvirax]

Yeah you can tell that most people dont know anything about horses.

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

I do not get the "but he's not a doctor". What if their grandma has a heart attack and gets admitted to the ER will they not visit because they aren't doctors?

[@dolleyes9232]

Thank you! like. do these people not think about if one of their close family members got in an accident and there was a wedding that they were supposed to go to would they not go to the er instead of the wedding? parents feel helpless enough in these situations. but not going at all is just.... seems like you dont care at all.

[@indyfmw]

@@xElvirax i never rode and anything and i know anything with the back and neck is easily fatal. i just assume rude ignorances.

[@gilbates4986]

But they went back and she is ok, plenty of time to attend the wedding, better late than not showing up to your daughter/sister's wedding at all.

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Story 1: I hate how much pressure there is on weddings! I'm getting married in 2 months and want it to be a party not the most important day of my life, it is a milestone, in the long stretch that is my life

[@hojmatros5102]

It doesn't have to be "the most important day of your life". It's all up to you to decide how important a wedding is to you. And if your partner have different ideas there should be room to discuss and negotiate. It's not entierly uncommon with civil marriages, and they're usually smaller events than entierly religious ceremonies. Just talk to the people who may attend the wedding about how you and your partner feel your wedding should be and they'll be prepared to bring a more relaxed attitude. It's completely fine to value your partner and the time you'll have together over a party. Congrats on finding happiness together, and I wish you a good married life! :)

[@bioshockbrat9171]

@@hojmatros5102 - the way society has commodified weddings, it becomes a nightmare to even attend

[@vilwarin5635]

I got married recently and maybe it wasn't the most important day of my life, but sure it was one of the happiest. Don't let anyone rain on your special day and don't feel ashamed of enjoying it. In my case, it was the last day all the family was together in a happy event, the next one was a funeral. You have to enjoy the rare moment of pure happiness you have with your loved ones

[@phoenix211245]

To the daughter, it was about the fact that her father, who abandoned her multiple times already, did so again on an important occasion. It could have been a school football game and still have the same outcome.

[@cloverite]

In that case you would be okay if none of your family showed up, after all it’s not an important day

[@joshuaortega1852]

I hope the commenters on story one never have to sit back and wonder what condition a loved one who could have died or been seriously injured is in. That feeling of helplessness wishing you could take the pain away that is a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone. And those are you going to preform the surgery comments made my blood boil.

[@xElvirax]

Yeah! Like the stepsister doesnt deserve to feel loved and be close to her family in a very scary situation, the commentors are monsters

[@purplemav]

And as a side note…Dan was an AH for leaving the step mom and sister out In The first place.

[@angelaa7388]

Anyone who has ever had an unexpected hospitalization knows how scary it can be, especially if you are alone. I don't think bio sister Dan is wrong to feel sighted, but I can't blame OP or her dad for their choice.

[@xElvirax]

@@angelaa7388 Why isnt she wrong? She is putting her own wedding over someone else's life, literally

[@angelaa7388]

@@xElvirax I think she is more reacting to many years of feeling passed over by her dad in favor of his "new family." Intellectually one can understand that this one instance he isn't exactly wrong, but it serves as the perfect example of years of perceived rejection. A "straw that broke the camel's back" kind of situation.

[@ethanfranks2047]

It's really disgusting that so many people think a loved ones celebration is more important than a loved one who was just rushed to the hospital.

[@py39246]

Exactly!!! I hope they never have to experience the helplessness felt when your severely injured with no loved ones around to support you..

[@heatherduke5410]

There are comments on the post also calling the stepmother an AH for calling her husband "before knowing the situation". So she was supposed to sit and wait without the support of her husband, I suppose as she waited for news about her daughter.

[@rainbows5232]

I get the initial fear , but once she was at the hospital and realized the situation is stable, she should have went back to the wedding.

[@mac533]

Rainbows "Sorry you almost died, daughter, but i have a party to go to, BYE." Honestly, if i were Dan, I'd be pissed if my dad abandoned his kid who almost died to go to a wedding.

[@rainbows5232]

@@mac533 its not a party, its his daughter's wedding, what is wrong with you

[@fhuber7507]

1... NTA. Emergencies win over weddings in the list of priorities. "Only fractured her back." Only? that's pretty serious.

[@twillightfairy]

Compared to what it could have been, only a fractured back is pretty good in my opinion.

[@twillightfairy]

@@paulastiles8873 True, but she wasn't paralyzed, blinded, suffered some combination of injuries or killed. A back injury even a serious one that effects your life is better than some options, after being thrown off a horse. And think of it this way, the OP said "only a fractured back" when she and her family were scared of what it could have been. The relief they must have felt to know that Grace was not only alive, but could still do things for herself even if it takes time must have been incredible.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree with you. If I was the bride, I would've called off the wedding immediately and rescheduled it for a later date.

[@sarah.5524]

@@twillightfairy idk. only a fractured back is kind of horrifying. There was a bad accident at an event near me where a guy came off his horse and "only fractured his back." He was paralyzed after coming off that horse and had some serious rehab afterwards.

[@jbrennan381]

​@@twillightfairy Yeah comparitively speaking "only a fractured back" is pretty accurate. Regardless though, I don't think they're in the wrong

[@HoneyBakedHamlet]

Thank you for being there for Lost Genre!! He mentioned that you and Mr Reddito helped him get monitized again xx

[@DrawciaGleam02]

YAY!!

[@s.d.berard7518]

That’s true!! I heard that as well! Amazing KZbinrs!! 💚😺

[@kateemma22]

Three favourite Reddit YTers working together!

[@mpo2706]

So glad to hear this. Great guys all of them.

[@photofreak56]

Story 2 NTA. Getting your kid out of a party before they have a meltdown is in my experience always better in the long run. I'm a photographer I've worked with kids in this age range and stopping the fun to get photos is always the worst idea because they're kids and they don't give a crap that I'm trying to get the best photo for mom. Most of the time if I'm shooting a little kids' party (think ages 1-9) I tell the parents to just focus on the kids having fun and that I'll do my best to get the photos they want. as that works out better and you just get better photos that way even if you have to shoot way more.

[@crowdemon_archives]

Yea, let the kids do stuff naturally tends to get cuter results lol

[@photofreak56]

@@crowdemon_archives you would be surprised at the amount of parents who don't understand that.

[@MidnightCore7]

Story one: Nta. Fracturing your back is a big deal, you need lots of pain meds and lots of support. Medical emergencies and protecting loved ones is more important then a wedding unfortunately. She could have died the doctor said, it was a big deal and sometimes you need to realize that even though you want sometimes you have to accept that although you want something, other things are more important.

[@Davtwan]

Good to see the sister isn’t blaming OP anymore either. She was a frightened 18-year-old that was in no state to drive. People overestimate how stoic young adults can be.

[@kingturtle24k81]

Aside from that you can tell this was the sister final straw with the dad so at this point he just killed that relationship

[@maggpiprime954]

The hyper-structured toddler bday party had me thinking "wtaf??" but Mark said everything I wanted to rant about in the comments lol 😂 Oh, NTA, OP. That mom gonna learn the hard way or not at all.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

I love that everyone thought she was an Instagram mom. We know her kind, just not her reasons!

[@debipearson8762]

I loved his rant! It had me dying! 😂😂

[@Davtwan]

Right? It’s a toddler’s birthday party, not a photoshoot. I know she’s likely one of those orderly moms (ironic that there was no sent schedule), but man it sure looks like she wants to at least show her family how “perfect” everything is. Is this her first kid or something like that?

[@tabeechey]

Yeah, as a mom of a 2 year old that sounds like either a sadistic prank on the parents, a delusional narcissist, or sheer fantasy.

[@dizzysdoings]

I think herding cats would have been easier.

[@TiffWaffles]

First story: NTA. I've ridden horses since I was a young girl and believe me when I say that riding accidents can kill both the horse and rider depending upon the circumstances. People are jumping down OP's throat when this could have been a life and death situation... and what's more important? Attending a wedding or rushing to the hospital to ensure that your loved one is okay? The fact that OP's stepsister FRACTURED her back is very telling on the severity of the accident and she could have died. Also, OP's 'bio sister is a real chump here for forgiving her sister. I feel sad knowing that Dan feels that she was replaced when I feel that wasn't true. It's sad that the wedding was missed but I still feel that given the fact that this was an emergency that it's understandable for why OP and her dad had to go back. Again, riding accidents can be extremely serious. I know of riders who were killed when they fell off their horses or the horse lost its balance and fell on top of the rider, crushing them. This is a serious issue... and I feel that if Grace got into a car accident that the same thing would have happened anyway. I feel that Redditers on AITA often are clueless on what happens in real life and I often suspect that they skim over posts or just give opinions based on what the title says.

[@justlooking1299]

Reddit always defends who they believe is the underdog. Even if it’s not true. Like if the dad would have prioritize the daughter on her big day. Op dad would have been a bad step dad. Like op sister seems like she only values blood relationships and she want to be prioritized over not only the step sis but his wife .

[@asmith8692]

I've encountered a woman who had such severe brain damage that she was on a feeding tube and was unable to communicate. She had fallen off a horse.

[@tokonunya8301]

Exactly. Honestly, Dan's use of the phrase "real" sister really got my hackles up. It's understandable if Dan can't bring herself to view the stepsister as family, but she doesn't seem to want to acknowledge that she IS family to OP and her dad and gets mad at them if they act like it. As if treating her like family is a betrayal of Dan. There's a lack of empathy for Grace (and even a lack of empathy for OP's feelings) that really bothers me. It's a sucky, unfortunate situation all around, but Dan seems to only be concerned with her own feelings.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The treasure hunt lasted less than 10 minutes? WTF. This mom seems like she doesn't have any experience being around toddlers and has never met a toddler. She's completely insane. NTA

[@ashh4929]

Right? Like what kind of stck of lunacy do you have tucked away in your colon to make an itinerary **for a toddler party?** Just.. What? Christ I'm in my 30's and that whole scenario has me feeling several kinds of hell no. I couldn't imagine that for gaggle of pint sized, undeveloped tiny humans.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@ashh4929 I know, right? At my maternal family's Easter get togethers, the most structure is order of events. Greetings, some adults distract the kids while others hide the eggs. Once the eggs are hidden and the adults are running out of ways to distract the kids, they're let loose to take *as much time as they like* searching so the adults can talk amongst themselves.

[@ashh4929]

@@brigidtheirish for real, like I've never been the creme de la creme of island society here but I haven't even been to weddings that were that anal retentive.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@ashh4929 And the kids only being allowed *five to ten minutes* of playing before *another photoshoot.* These are *three-year-olds,* not the Kardashians.

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

Exactly. I’m not a mother, I hardly know anything about caring for babies, but toddlers are not photo props or Barbie dolls. A toddler is a human being who only needs love, playtime, snacks, and attention.

[@indianspartan76]

Story 1: I do feel bad for the dad. If he just went on to the wedding, his wife would post here saying her husband left her when her daughter was in danger lol. But seriously it was either leave wife when she's feeling vulnerable and scared, or go to daughter on her most important day.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Also, he probably sees horse girl as his daughter too and can you imagine your wife calling you, telling you one of your kids was thrown from a horse and so badly injured that she needed to go to hospital. What if she'd died while they were celebrating at a party?

[@liviwaslost]

@@CarinaCoffee plus, most people either die or end up paralyzed from those kind of accidents.

[@hothead2463]

I feel that the daughter needed therapy when the divorce happened. She blamed the dad only and her statement only works if she tried to be with the father and his new wife and stepsister and got rejected or ignored. He was going to this wedding without them just to make her happy that isn't someone that replaced you.

[@aaroneisenman6873]

And let's not forget that the accident likely wouldn't have happened if the elder sister had just invited stepmom and step sis to the wedding...

[@virtualatheist]

This! Dad was in a lose/lose situation.

[@katie6731]

My uncle had a heart attack the day before my wedding. It was his third or fourth, and they were talking about surgery. My aunt left the pre-wedding stuff to be with him. I fully supported her. Even though I missed having her at my wedding, and this uncle isn't my favorite person 🙄, my aunt was absolutely where she needed to be. I was more concerned about the worry she felt than anything else. It probably helps that she's never given me reason to doubt her love for me. However, my father has given me every reason to feel that he prioritizes my step-family. So, if I had experienced the same thing Dan had, I would have been deeply hurt when he chose them over me *again.* Dan's father's and sister's absence would have drawn attention, putting the step-sister at the center of everyone's attention--which would likely have been a very familiar, and unwelcome, experience for Dan.

[@jessicamarshall1975]

Story 1: It’s complicated. OP is NTA to me. However both her bio sister and dad are light AH. I get bio sister wanted dad to walk her down the aisle but it was a medical emergency that easily could’ve been fatal. Dad is a light AH for bothering OP to get bio sis to call him.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: NTA, what happened is serious and could have been fatal. "You waited until the day of the wedding to drive there" So did bio mom 🤨 I didn't see you preaching at her for it 🤨 and on top of that, even if they _did_ come a day or so early, whose to say they're not allowed to leave once they get there? It was a _family emergency_ ffs, she had to be taken to the hospital in an _ambulance._ She could have _died_ from this and you're gonna preach about a standard you're not even holding the other family member(s) to? Edit: Some of these comments are really just saying "hey who cares if your stepdaughter almost died, your bio daughter is getting married so that automatically makes her the bigger priority" huh

[@tabeechey]

Plenty of people can't travel until the day of. Work, medical appointments, and childcare can make travel very hard.

[@tabeechey]

What kills me is this is the same sub where people are so quick to call someone a bridezilla, yet they insist a bride is entirely justified for being mad at her father for going to the hospital when an immediate family member *broke their back*! I get being sad and disappointed but acting like she is justified in cutting off her father for prioritizing a medical emergency is absurd!

[@purplemav]

In addition….Dan was an AH for not inviting the step mom and step sister in the first place.

[@itilosi9929]

@@tabeechey yeah. not a serious injury in this case just means not paralysed

[@dionysus_adores]

Exactly accidents are way more important than a wedding. Step sister could've died.

[@AndyyWithAY]

You're his sugar mama and you just realized it. You've been funding his lifestyle for the last 2 years. You've been conned.

[@heathercontois4501]

Why would anyone structure a 3yo's birthday party like that? 3yo, you have a hot dog, give them some cake and let them run themselves ragged so the sugar is burned off before you load them into a car. Candid photos are so much better at that age than planned sessions anyway.

[@shizanketsuga8696]

Story 1: I have to say that _categorically_ everybody who says OP should have prioritised a wedding over supporting her stepsis who had a pretty serious horse riding accident is a _huge_ arsehole. And that goes double for everyone claiming that arriving the day before would have fixed anything: that just turns "forgetting" stepsis and stepmother into a matter of convenience which, granted, is an easy thing to do if you don't care about them to begin with as seems to be the case for most of the family. And triple that for cynics going "What was the father going to do? Perform the surgery?" while totally ignoring that OP and her father could only serve as emotional support at _either occasion,_ and if it comes down to that support on your worst day is much more valuable than support on your best day.

[@alderblanco2362]

Right??? His kid almost died and these people are treating her like garbage. He didn't know the state of one of the children he raised until he got to the hospital. OP grew up with this girl. Of course they want to be at her side. If she was dying, it would be their last chance to say goodbye. By the time they got the call, it was too late to salvage going to the wedding. They gave as much notice as possible.

[@tomorrow4eva]

I agree. Medical emergency takes priority.

[@isasantos8577]

YES! Thank you! It's just a damn party, someone was in big distress, no party is more important than someone else health, both physically (the daughter) and mentally (the stepmother).

[@nela3986]

Good words. You put my opinion in the right light.

[@sorasilverstar144]

Agreed! Hear hear to everything you said!

[@Daniko2]

Story 1: Those YTA comments make me so angry! The important part of a wedding is that it is the start of a marriage. That's it. Yes, it's nice, symbolic, and emotional. It is a big day. But the important part is the 50+ (hopefully) years afterwards. Now Dad ducking out to play poker with his buds or OP going riding with the step-sister would have been appalling. BUT that is not even remotely the situation here! These commenters are basically saying OP and Dad should have ignored the medical emergency because bio-daughter's feelings would be hurt. The same daughter who held her parents' divorce against a girl who was 9 at the time, and thus excluded step-sister in the first place. And they're piling on OP and Dad all because by some miracle, this particular broken back wasn't going to kill or paralyze Dad's other daughter?! Not to mention that incredible stroke of luck is something there was absolutely no way to know until after the x-rays, likely MRI, and possible surgery. It's not at all likely that had happened when stepmother had called. In short, in that moment, no-one knew whether step-sister would even survive. To put a wedding over that, to even suggest that it's reasonable to go no-contact because of it makes my blood boil.

[@nikkiwhray1598]

The OP in the last story doesn't have a boyfriend, she has a toddler. He threw a temper tantrum at the mall, and felt so entitled to her money that he complained to his friends about it!

[@maggpiprime954]

That is exactly what I thought: A 30yo toddler! "I want I want I want! Imma go tell on you!" *shnorfs up huge booger ineffectively and tries to wipe up remains from knuckle to elbow

[@ashh4929]

Exactly, I know I sure as hell couldn't share a bed with a man-baby who throws legit kiddie tantrums. Sahara right after the first foot stomp but doing it multiple times? Hell to the no! You could get better attention and self discipline from a house pet, wake up girl!

[@nikkiwhray1598]

@@maggpiprime954 I was half expecting to hear he started kicking and threw himself on the floor 🤣 What an embarrassment!

[@stephaniewilson3955]

I would have had his packed bags waiting for him when he returned.

[@mangaanimefan3089]

Isn't it just horrible?! OP admitted she was dating a toddler! /s OP needs to do the right thing and return that poor baby👶 back to his parents! 🤣

[@19WolfGirl74]

Story 1: unless op and her dad have super powers and can teleport or fly or have super speed, there is no way they would have made it to the wedding after going to be hospital. Nobody can be faulted for going to the hospital bed of someone you love when theres an emergency. And it sounds like they didn’t have much information when they got the call. That’s the scariest part, especially when such a dangerous sort of accident happens. Accidents on a horse can be just as bad as car accidents if not worse since there are no seat belts, no airbags and no real safety measures aside from a a helmet and most people don’t even wear helmets when riding. For all OP and her dad knew in that moment, Grace could have had a traumatic brain injury, been in a coma or even been dead. She got lucky she’ll recover, people get paralyzed from riding accidents with spinal injuries like that. It’s only natural they would have gone to the hospital instead of the wedding.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: I kinda want to say NAH. OP isn't an AH as she was likely at the whims of the dad anyways, sister isn't an AH because she could feel replaced, and I can't say that rushing to the hospital when one of your kids was injured is an AH thing to do. The real thing I'd point out is the inverse situation, OP and Dad go to the wedding after getting pressured to go and Stepsister dies, now the two of them got robbed of saying goodbye. At that time they didn't know if the step sis would live or die. S1 Update: I think the Dad now qualifies as the AH. He can't pressure Dan to call him, nor should he ever pressure the kids to forgive him. He should apologize and wait for a response. Story 2: NTA, WOW no, the mother crossed a line pushing this on 3 year olds. I have no clue what the mother was trying to do, but it was 100% done to show off for some reason. Story 3: NTA and OP should just leave. He is waving a bunch of Marinara flags in his actions and behavior.

[@judyjohnson9610]

Oh, that poor Marinara guy. He will never hear the end of it

[@briansmaller7443]

Birthday party - NTA. A 3 year old's party being run like a wedding with photo shoots? Heck no.

[@someanon1984]

Story 1: I'm hella confused by any judgment that isn't NTA here. Firstly, the logistics of the wedding were such that driving over the morning of shouldn't have been an issue. NTA on that front. Secondly, being thrown off a horse is no joke and as the doctor said, step-sis could have been killed. Before then, OP and dad had no idea if that could be the case. They could have turned around and found out or been nervous wrecks at the wedding until they got an update, probably bringing down the mood in the meantime. It sucks for bio sis, but she's being kind of illogical here. EDIT: UNLESS dad was actually putting her second growing up. Maybe I didn't hear that part. All I heard was that she didn't feel the steps were family, which she's entitled to do but OP and dad are entitled to do the opposite.

[@owl7072]

It's almost funny watching them run in circles trying to justify calling them an AH bc bio mom _also_ drove over there the morning of and arrived there at 10am which was an hour before Op and dad would have been there, and yet the commenters were acting as if dad and Op had committed some sort of cardinal sin by doing the same thing.

[@Snowshowslow]

NTA? Not NAH? I don't think she and her dad did anything wrong, but I can imagine the sister is very disappointed, especially with this backstory.

[@audreym3908]

Story 1: You can reschedule a wedding you cannot reschedule a medical emergency, NTA.

[@romonaelrod7870]

Medical emergency is more important than a wedding. I understand that the Bride was disappointed. A overly planned party for 3 year olds is ridiculous. A grown man throwing tantrums over not getting his way because girlfriend is tired of his entitlement. She totally needs to dump the man-baby.

[@MorganaCrow]

Story 1: This truly feels like a no win situation. Seems like feelings before the situation are really why the outcomes here happened

[@TheNormExperience]

Story - “Well, why couldn’t you have stayed until after the wedding and then gone to the hospital?!” Maybe because they didn’t know if the step-sister was even f**king ALIVE OR NOT?! That takes precedence. Does it suck it was at the same time as the older sister’s wedding? Absolutely! But they didn’t make the wrong decision going to the hospital, and I’m honestly terrified anyone thinks they did. Idk about you but I’ve gotten that earth-shattering phone call, “loved one’s in the hospital, we don’t know what’s wrong, or if they’ll make it.” And I can assure you nothing else is more important than getting there after those words. Besides, what if they HAD waited and showed up hours late to the hospital only to find her sister had died while they were doing the chicken dance!?! And how could anyone put the mind-numbing fear out of their brain long enough to even pretend to be happy? Even if OP and her father had physically been at the wedding, they would have been a million miles away mentally and emotionally, and OP’s sister would just be mad because they were ‘so distracted on my big day!” OP didn’t betray anyone. She had 2 life-altering occasions happen at once, and she had to deal with the most important one first because it was literal life or death in that second. And OP’s sister only feels secure enough attacking everyone over this because the step-sister lived. Think about how gross that is.

[@BerryTrekkin]

Ok Waffle gang, we are going to throw a massive birthday party for Mark with cake, a ball pit and a bouncy castle!

[@Boundwithflame23]

Giant inflatable bouncy waffle

[@xElvirax]

Better be a cake made out of waffles

[@Grace_x68]

And fancy cookies 😂

[@DindellaTheDefender]

I hate when people make situations about “sides.” Also, really frustrating and upsetting that people don’t understand that it’s not about whether you can do anything or not. Would you like to burden your other daughter on her wedding day by being overwhelmingly anxious, because guess what? OP’s step sister got LUCKY, because could have been paralyzed or killed. And for all OP and their dad knew, that day might have been the step sister’s last. And you think they’re TA in any capacity? OP’s bio sister is TA for thinking a party is more important then someone’s life. FFS!

[@bruuh0_0]

THANK YOU Have these people never had family got to hospital? It's not about helping on the godamn surgery, it's about being there for a hurt loved one and the mom whose kid is on surgery it's a fucking party, which is not more important than surgery

[@tabeechey]

Right? The bit where OP says "not badly injured" shocked me. A spinal fracture is a bad injury. Terrifying.

[@Streetwisefirst]

I think all these people on Reddit drank the delusional juice. They’re making it sound like she scraped her on. No big deal she just broke her back like wth

[@antoinealez12]

Thank you. Finally, someone that gets it. No one is pointing that out. What was the father supposed to do? The bio-sister has no right to be upset.

[@Davtwan]

Sounds like there were issues between dad and sis that has been going on for a long time, and it all boiled to the surface. What a terrible situation.

[@jacobmullin3428]

They really undersold how devastating an injury this was, like they turned around cause this was literally life or death. Thank god she not only survived, but isn’t paralyzed and can recover fully from this. If he had gone on to this wedding and his step daughter died, not only would the wedding have been completely and totally overshadowed by that tragedy but her father would have been divorced a second time. “Sorry your daughter died, hope it was a good party though.” Sure, they could have left earlier. Sure, they could have gone back later. But let’s be honest here. Leaving sooner would have not prevented the injury, and the fear and doubt more then likely would have lead either to the same result or a lot of resentment on his end. And lord, I cannot blame him for not having the mental and physical energy to have gone through such an emotional roller coaster and then drive ANOTHER 3 HOURS to the reception. In that condition, it’s genuinely dangerous to be on the road. An accident taking the father’s life isn’t going to make things better for these three girls. NTA, the bride is allowed to be angry and disappointed but the lack of understanding here is appalling.

[@bunnyslippers191]

And the step sister is still in a brace, will be in that brace for a few months, and "hasn't had any nerve flares so far." That means she still may have some "nerve flares" and possible residual damage in the future. It's impossible to be sure she won't be left with at least some disability. The final result won't be known for months. As she ages where her back was fractured could become quite painful or it might not. She might be lucky and have no ill effects at all. It's impossible to tell right now and won't be for some time.

[@nobinary2296]

Exactly! I provide home care for my Mother, sometimes she has good days, and but most times she's completely bed ridden. She's in so much pain everyday but is so head strong that she doesn't complain about anything until it's too much. She has epilepsy, spinal problems, and a couple other issues. Just the spinal injury alone is HELL for people to deal with. I don't think people give the step sister's condition enough credit. That's hellish pain to go through for months. It's exhausting and soul draining. I am just happy she wasn't paralyzed or DEAD. I have worked with horses, being a country kid, and those are deadly/beautiful animals. Just one kick can shatter your bones. The step sister was lucky. What good is being at a wedding in that situation when you're just miserable and anxious to get home. That's a disservice to the bride, the wife, and your injured daughter. Who needs the emotional support more? I just think the bio sister was blinded by her jealousy and resentment she kept in place. I know you can't force a bond. But people aren't mind readers, if you feel you are getting pushed aside, say it. We're not blessed with telepathy. Communication is our greatest gift.

[@julieeverett7442]

@@bunnyslippers191 thank you I was thinking the same thing. In what universe is a FRACTURED back, a BROKEN back is not a big deal, this is a deadly deal, and depending on how high up it is life threatening!

[@maggpiprime954]

You've put into words exactly what my outraged mind could not.

[@ADWebTV]

The bride needs to go to therapy. This was just her last straw with the dad and it's understandable she can be upset things didn't go as planned buts it's not a reason to go no contact. She lacks empathy.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - NTA. The entire time I was just rolling my eyes at the fact that the birthday kid’s mom is so disconnected from reality, it’s a party of three year olds. These kids aren’t even in school yet, or at most preschool where it’s 95% play. Expecting them to do all those photo shoots and not get upset and act LIKE THE CHILDREN THEY ARE is laughable. I feel bad for her children tho, helicopter parents grind their kids down to nothing with their constant control and supervision.

[@Amber_the_Amazon]

My daughter is 6 and my son is 2 I barely have any photos from ANY birthday because I’m always running around helping my kiddo or getting food/snacks/cake out. That many photo shoots both my kids wold be done and the RBFs would come out 😂😂😂😂

[@olivezanakis2606]

Story 1 someones health trumps a wedding, hope in the future the bride is never put in that position.

[@hanoh2904]

Financial abuse is when you deprive someone from the basics , food, drink clothing. Not a 300 USD watch

[@carlrood4457]

Being thrown from a horse is no joke. Just look what happened to Christopher Reeve. Who the hell waits for the full examinations before calling loved ones to the hospital? That's the absolute worst time, because you only have what you don't know.

[@axepagode33626]

Missed Wedding due to emergency story: To everyone who said the father was an AH, would you still think that if Grace was severely injured, concussed and paralyzed? If not, why?

[@ComaLies225]

Honestly these comments are soo out of touch. I get Dan was disappointed but it was also a medical emergency

[@kristelneedtoknow3207]

Yeah i agree. It definitely felt like nah as it was a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. I get why they choose the hospital but i also get why Dan is upset. It definitely feels like the relationship between Dan and the father might not ever heal. But i think dan and op might be able to get past it. Could you imagine if the rolls where reversed dan in the hospital and step sister's wedding. They would have made the same choice. Would people still think op is tah.

[@thomasdatoneboi405]

Honestly would they rather have had the dad being there looking miserable in all pictures?

[@nobinary2296]

Exactly! People like that have no business making judgements. That was appalling to read that anyone would call an 18YO and a Father an AH for rushing to the aid of their hospitalized daughter. Those people need to have empathy classes.

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

I think it never occurred to the commenters that Grace is an actual person. You know, since she's ONLY a step.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 2: NTA. OP had to do what was best for her child. Period. Hosting Mom is trying to have multiple photo shoots for THREE YEAR OLDS???? AT AN INDOOR PARK???? Sounds like terrible. OP did the right thing. OP should avoid this mom & kid in the future. Too overbearing.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 2: that sounds like the most boring and at the same time nerve-racking birthday party ever. I bet the other parents were glad when someone finally got the guts to leave.

[@dessnatazha]

Were OP and her dad supposed to sit through a wedding while worrying about the family member in the hospital? I might be disappointed but I can't see myself wanting someone to put me over someone else who'd been hurt just to see me marry a completely different person.

[@gaxalee7392]

Plus, people who are blatantly miserable or upset either get a lot of attention or bring the mood down if they’re well liked or such a demeanor is abnormal for them. It’s, imho, good manners not to show up to events if you know your mood could ruin them, and I can’t imagine being able to hide “I’m terrified that ‘family/friend’ is seriously hurt or dead because of a call I got an hour prior and haven’t been able to visit/get updated yet”.

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

Story 1 What did the dad do exactly that made Dan feel like she’s been replaced though? Cause she didn’t land into his custody during the divorce?

[@xElvirax]

She probably feels stronger about it because she was so much older than OP, so any time her dad doesnt spend time on their "side" of the family she probably sees it as a betrayal. Like he picks his "new family" over her. She needs to grow the fuck up and not hate her stepmom and stepsister so much that she doesnt give a shit when one of them ends up in the hospital after what could have been a fatal injury. Horses are gigantic and can easily kill you if you fall off

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

@@xElvirax yup, she has daddy issues

[@haplessasshole9615]

"I get irrationally angry when cake is involved. Cake is life." My husband is on his way back from our local Farmer's Market with my weekly ration of cake -- a big, homemade dark chocolate cupcake with a big blob of chocolate baked inside, and topped with a homemade caramel frosting. Yes -- it's just as delicious as it sounds. If I thought they could actually survive the journey, I'd send you a few.

[@jenswurm]

First story: I'll say NTA or NAH (if bio sis eventually comes around). I can see how having her sister and father there for her wedding is super important for the bio sister, but ultimately that part is about making a festivity an even better festivity. On the other hand, step sis and her mother (!) must have been in absolute horror and anguish. They were at their lowest and urgently needed emotional support. Those commenting whether OP's dad was going to do the surgery seem to completely ignore the mother in the situation. Abandoning those two in their time of need to make a party an even greater party would have been the wrong choice, IMHO, so i'll say NAH or NTA, depending on whether the bio sis eventually realizes that OP and her father were put into a no-win situation there and had to choose the lesser evil. Even if one may disagree with their decision, one still can acknowledge that there was no malice involved on OP and OP's dad part.

[@DivisibleByWaffle]

"What are you going to do, perform the surgery?" How about say goodbye? Especially if you aren't sure of the person's exact condition.

[@kilometersmatt2938]

What kind of chronically online incels were commenting YTA for the first story? I get Dan would be disappointed, that’s fine. But her step sister was just in the hospital for what could’ve been a life ending accident, and she her 1st thoughts are about herself? And then saying the Dad could’ve kept driving to the wedding. Explain that to any rational person “my step daughter fractured her back but instead of going to the hospital to support her and my wife I walked my bio daughter down the aisle” that’s grounds for a divorce in my book. And a very important note: they had no word on her condition until they got to the hospital. If I hear a family member of mine is in the hospital from a serious accident, I’m dropping what I’m doing and going to visit them! If the accident would’ve been worse the same people saying the dad is an asshole would call him callous for staying at the wedding. I swear some people just need to go outside and touch grass… EDIT: After listening to the update, Dan is a bad person. She once again refuses to sympathize with the hard choice her father had to make. She feels like she “got replaced” yet no evidence is provided. And I can’t stress this enough: she’s angry at her father because he chose to check on the health of one of his children that was in the hospital for a serious accident.

[@xElvirax]

Reddit is full of incels. And yes, Dan is the AH here. She doesnt give two shits about grace and it shows

[@Digitalfairy]

I agree 100% Methinks she's still mad her parents didn't stay married forever and kept her insular belief that all step-families are an evil species. That update made me suspect all levels of manipulation from her.

[@kilometersmatt2938]

@@Digitalfairy 100000% agree

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Last story, refusing to buy non essentials is not financial abuse. He’s manipulative af.

[@mracula1667]

The birthday party story NTA. Any parent throwing a party for three year olds with a strict schedule like that is a fool. Private Instagram or not, that party was for her ego and not the kid’s enjoyment.

[@aga3852]

Story 1: No one would win out of this. If the accident was VERY bad (which the doctor said anymore and it could have been life ending/changing), then yeah, duh, the emergency would take very much precedence compared to a wedding. Just being there, in case of a passing or a coma, is VERY important. More than a wedding, which is in a way sad to say but the absolute truth. A wedding you can retry, but a death you can not per se. Like a comment said, no one is AH because from all perspectives, the situation just sucks. I am so sorry for everyone, but most important for the one with an actual emergency.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@maggpiprime954]

Ooh! Cottage? 💖

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@maggpiprime954 yee

[@Zantetsu13]

Story 2: He didn't ruin the party, there was no party.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Cake is life, cake is love, cake is serious business.

[@Nettles007]

Cake is everything

[@BordrKing]

All the people saying "what were you going to do, perform the surgery??" Bro what if she DIED and he wasn't there? Wasn't there to say goodbye, wasn't there to hold his wife while she lost a child?? Those people are freaking cruel and callous

[@briansmaller7443]

The commenters in this story are nuts. You are not a doctor so what are you going to do? Really? Have these heartless POS's never rushed to be with someone who was injured and in hospital? You often don't know the full extent until well after the person has been admitted. The father and OP had to make a decision on the spot with their only information being "X was in a serious accident and has been rushed to hospital".

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

Man, that birthday party sounds horrific! I'd never go to another party at her house.again!. But, I guess I'd never be invited again. WIN/WIN!!!

[@RPGPaenda]

the first story is so tricky… but i think op is nta. for everyone just calling her the asshole, have they never been in that situation? where a loved one is hurt or injured? when my dad had his last heart attack, my grandma, her husband, and i all woke up immediately and drove ~45 mins to the hospital; my maternal aunt and cousin even came by briefly. it’s about familial support in that moment. the dad does seem like the asshole a little, probably due to things we don’t know since we’re not getting dan’s side of the story/what happened in their childhood once their dad remarried. from the sounds of it, it seems like there were more incidents than just dad missing walking her down the aisle (a major life event).

[@LoryLilyBomber]

16:20 lol I love how when you said “Cake is Life,” i’m pretty sure I could hear you lean forward towards the microphone to emphasize that cake is Serious™️

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

I've been a mother to 4 three-year-olds and will be once again with my last child come November and... WHO ON EARTH STRUCTURES A THIRD BIRTHDAY PARTY LIKE THIS MUM AND EXPECTS TODDLERS TO CONFORM LIKE SOLDIERS? NTA! Honestly, I hope this mother to the birthday boy doesn't expect this crud for every birthday, because I can see that kid of hers rebelling just for the sake of rebelling. Ease up a little, yeesh! They're toddlers!

[@stephaniewilson3955]

I would never accept a birthday party invite from her after that fiasco.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

@@stephaniewilson3955 hate to say it, same. It may end up being until kid is in Primary school before the next attempt... be interesting when that happens

[@J_e_s_s]

It isn't irrational anger, it's pure passion. 🙌🏼😂

[@OminousSoul]

Wow. All the YTA Comments On Story one are freakin Psychos. Wonder what their reaction would be if they were to end up in OPs shoes, or even worse her Step-Sisters shoes. I am sure they would have no problem with being completely ignored by family after ending up in a hospital from a severe injury that if it had been worse could have left them possibly paralyzed or dead.

[@xElvirax]

Yeah its way more important for them to be at her wedding than be at the stepsister's side after she could have died. Totally reasonable! /sarcasm

[@tabeechey]

Emergencies get priority over celebrations, pretty much every time.

[@ladyj.9350]

Story 1: do people not understand how dangerous horse accidents can be and OP says back fracture, like spinal or near spinal fracture. If I knew my sister was in a serious horse accident, I would want to be there, whether it’s to say my last goodbyes or be there to support her when she woke up, potentially paralyzed or blind. I definitely get that dan would be devastated and it’s totally valid. But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I went to a wedding instead of the hospital.

[@Jennifer-vv5qv]

"Cake is life." Truer words have never been said. I got married just so that I could have cake ;)

[@hellhog3252]

What a bunch of monsters. Who says “well not like I can do anything so why make an effort to go?” Like Jesus what kind of family did you grow up in ? If my family is seriously hurt I’m going to be there cause if all I have to go on is that they had a serious injury an got taken away in an ambulance then I’m going to be there cause who knows what’s happening.

[@xElvirax]

Riiight?? Like ok your marriage is once in a lifetime but its not the most important thing in life

[@hellhog3252]

@@xElvirax the way I see it is if I heard my kid broke their finger or something then ok sure. Nobody needs me there for that. But if my kid is taken away in an ambulance and there’s no info to go on other than “they got hurt bad” then any good parent is going to go cause you need to support your partner who’s there alone worrying like crazy and your kid cause for all you know it could be their final moments or you need to be there to make important decisions on how to proceed. The people saying “we’ll not like you can do anything” should never have children because Good god

[@xElvirax]

@@hellhog3252 yeah its weird how so many dont understand emotional support. I hope they never end up sick or in the hospital and needs support. And the ones who says they should have driven anyway, in a state they shouldnt, are the AHs tbh. Dont drive if you feel like you shouldnt. It could easily have ended up in another serious hospital visit..

[@jennywhite2462]

Story 1 after he got to the hospital and found out stepdaughter was ok he should of hauled it to the wedding. He still could of done the father daughter dance and been in photos. He may have made it to walk her if they waited for him. I don't blame the guy for initially going to the hospital. I do blame him for not going to the wedding after finding out everything was ok.

[@CalifGirl000]

Why is bio sister the AH? She has a right to be upset her dad didn't show up at her wedding. Yes he had a good excuse, but she can feel hurt. That is a valid emotion.

[@ghoullovinbutch]

The boyfriend calling the watch “catch” reminds me of Mean Girls’ “fetch.” “Stop trying to make fetch happen!”

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA first OP had ZERO choice on whether the person she was with turned around. That automatically absolves her imo. Second, medical emergency trumps EVERYTHING. I understand why Dan might be upset but she needs to understand that to OP, both are her sisters. Dan needs to grow up. Regardless of any issues, medical emergencies the priority Edit after comments: "what were you going to do at the hospital if you weren't a doctor" I don't know...give wife/stepmom emotional support during a medical emergency where the fate of her daughter was very much up in the air? Just because the outcome was fairly "minor" (how is a fractured back minor?) that doesn't mean they KNEW it was minor. For all they knew she could have died Because THAT'S WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID. They turned around to give stepmom emotional support during a time of need. Who the FUCK would hear a loved one calling about a medical emergency and say " alright well, off to the party then". And OP couldn't safely drive back so it was smart not to do so. Imagine she tried and died or got hurt. Also..why drive uo the night before if there is no need to. Even if they had driven up the day before, , I STILL would gave left the MOMENT I got that one call. These YTA are ridiculous. Esit after update: so Dan is upset and she wanted OP at the brunch...but expected her to come after being blocked and told she disappointed her sister for *checks notes* having a family member with a medical emergency? To OP she was no longer welcome. Idk...Dan needs therapy.She was 15 when her dad got together with and 18 when he married his new wife. So she was away at college for the bulk of the last 7 years but felt "replaced" even though she never got over the divorced and didn't like the step family. It sounds like dad moved on and she didn't ever give them a chance as she was an adult when they got married. Hell it took OP 5+ years to create a relationship with step sister and Dan got MAYBE 3. That including the age gap created separation. I don't know, maybe there is other stuff that Happened but from the (admittedly slim) details we have, it just seems like Dan held a grudge because dad got remarried and she didn't give or have the chance to bond with the new family and she blames dad for it. Arm chair psych at its finest folks

[@Boundwithflame23]

Probably minor in the sense that it didn’t cause permanent paralysis and put her in a wheelchair for the rest of her life, at least from what I gathered by the mention of needing to be in a back brace for a handful of months. I was thinking the same thing about OP driving while anxious. My dad had to go to the hospital once and I had an ambulance called and had my aunt pick my brother and me up because I was too anxious to drive and my brother can’t drive. Though in hindsight I could’ve just had my aunt pick the three of us up instead of calling an ambulance but I realized that after it was already called.

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

"Sir, your grandmother just had a heart attack and was rushed to the ER, she's asking you to visit-" *"No"* "wh- no?" *"I said no"* "W-why not? This very may well be your grandmother's last moments and she wants to-" *"But I'm not a doctor"*

[@GiordanDiodato]

@@TortoiseNotTurtle yeah those comments pissed me off.

[@luizalouyoga]

First story: Dad’s TAH. Understandable they went back to check on stepsister. Inexcusable dad missed taking his daughter down the aisle. I’m betting he was probably dismissive of her her whole life… These are no easy issues for anyone. It begins with them leaving at 8h30 to a 3 hour drive for a wedding that starts at 1pm. That’s a huge lack of organisation and good planning. Had the car broken down on the road they might have missed it too. It seems like the wedding was not so important for him anyways. Dan’s feelings are completely valid and understandable. I hope she can find comfort in her heart. And I hope all is well with stepsis.

[@leonievanheerden7090]

Thank you for standing by Lost Genre... just one more reason to love and appreciate your inherent goodness... love and blessings 💐💖

[@LivxLaughxLove]

Story 1: NTA. Even if they got the call after getting there, it would've still put a damper on things because your mind would still be on whether Grace was ok or not. Your mind never settles until you see for yourself how bad it actually is. Story 2: NTA. You drew a boundary and he tested it to see if he could call your bluff. Had you not did what you promised, he'd be forever overstepping boundaries. He messed around, he found out

[@DePhoegonIsle]

Story 1: What the hell.... a hospitalization where someone could have died is seriously being called abandoning a wedding? Like the fucking hell is wrong with these people. It sucks, but what if he had gone & she had died and given up the only moments they could have had to just walk her down the isle? OP is NTA, but the daughter is TA & so is everyone calling him out as if he was one. Like fucking hell, what the fuck do you expect.... 'Oh I'm sorry, I'm just going to leave somone that has a child in a life & death spot in a hospital on their own, over a wedding at which If I had even a shred of a soul I would be torn up & look miserable at while I walk this child down the isle.' What is wrong with people.... X.x Weddings ceremonies can be held twice..... being there for someone that easily could have died at the moments of the chance...Doesn't.

[@logirl1975]

Story 2: I'm only half way through the story and I'm already exhausted on behalf of these kids and parents. Just holy jeezus, really?

[@Phantom95179]

For Story 1 I think NAH. If it had been life threatening, they would have wanted to be there for the sister in her last moments. I agree that they should have made the effort to make it to the wedding tho.

[@cetkat]

Story 1: When someone has a serious injury, and possibly life threatening, that takes precedence. Evaluation takes time, and she got very lucky. Part of the phone call was definitely not.. but she's going to be ok. So turning around was the right decision. It's unclear to me if the Dad could have made it back to the wedding in time. The sister talks about being too shook up to drive, but it could have been just the reception at that point. It does feel like it would have been too late.. though, IMO he could have tried & let Dan decide if she still wanted him there or not.

[@hothead2463]

Story 1 Nta: The sister sounds like she created the problems herself. 1. why does she think the dad had to do something for the divorce to happen what if it was the mother 2. if she thinks the dad was trying to replace her with the stepsister she made it very easy with so little contact with the father.3. she didn't let the father's wife or stepdaughter come. Op should tell her she's the problem not anyone else and she needs therapy.

[@enjolireyes643]

Story 2- Cake is love… Cake is life!

[@persephoneszeliga]

Uhhh, I hate to say it but once they found out step sister was in the clear, they both should have high tailed it to the wedding. Total jerks. At the very least, OP could have driven. Geez.

[@lissieloveskitties]

Story 3 DUMP HIM SO FAST HE'S LEFT IN A CLOUD OF DUST! What an awful gold digger uuurrrggghhhhhh

[@louellacharlton4425]

Oh Mark you had me rolling on the floor, I was laughing so hard, when you said you have irrational feelings about CAKE! I ALSO LOVE A GREAT CAKE. 😆 STAY SAFE PLEASE PEACE

[@BritInvLvr]

I feel real bad for Dan in the first story. Being replaced by a step family sucks big time.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 1: I'm appalled at all these people hating on OP and their dad. One of his daughters had an injury to the back and was rushed to the hospital. They were put in a no-win situation. What if she'd died? I know this majorly sucks for the bride, but imagine your dad having to walk you done the aisle while he's worried about his other's child's life. I don't think OP stated when the ceremony was supposed to be, only that they planned to be there by 11. I mean yeah, they were almost to the wedding so they might as well have gone all the way, did part of the ceremony and then possibly left soon after, but if the ceremony wasn't until 3pm or something that would have been awful.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

I don't buy Dan's apology, I bet she would have been nastily celebrating if Grace had died after they had gone to the hospital. But I've read waaaay too many Reddit posts lol

[@aaroneisenman6873]

IIRC the wedding was at 1pm.....

[@bunnyslippers191]

The ceremony was scheduled for 1 pm.

[@Love2Banime]

The sister who was getting married sounds entitled.

[@CarinaCoffee]

@@Love2Banime I mean, I get her side too. This is her wedding and her dad was supposed to walk her down the aisle. I think from what OP said the sis and OP but especially the sis and dad's relationship really went downhill after he remarried. Maybe for her this was a big step towards reconciliation. I too think it's entitled to expect someone to choose a wedding over such a serious incident, but I think a lot of her attitude stems from her hurt feelings. They could all do with therapy to talk out their issues. You don't need to like other people, she doesn't need to magically love her stepsister, but having so little regard over her safety and healthiness is not good.

[@rebeccahayward9607]

I couldn't handle that amount of party control as a 30yo, let alone imagine it as a 3yo.

[@wendyhadley2764]

Party story. I can't believe that mother planned that organized of a party when the children were around 3 years old. She should have expected what happened to have happened that kind of a scheduled thing for 3-year-olds is not going to work, That mother can get in the biggest snitch she's ever been in over this but she's the ah. And most of the other mothers there were probably wanting to give you a big hug and kiss because you started what they all wanted to but nobody else had the nerve to do it. If she really thought this scheduled birthday party for 3-year-olds was even possible she should have sent the itineraries with the invitations. It's hard to get one 3 year old to sit still at a party to have photos taken and she did it four times weird!

[@RockyGems]

OP in Story 2 is a hero, as far as I'm concerned!

[@bleachblondebunny8900]

I disagree with the first one because they didn't know the stepdaughter's conditions and with it being a horse incident she could have easily died. And I believe that it is normal to check on a family member who was in a dangerous situation.

[@Mewse1203]

Right? Plus who gets a call about a loved one having a medical emergency and thinks "well, off to the party". And the people saying "you were no help so what would you have done there anyway" are dumb as fuck. How about GIVING WIFE/STEPMOM EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. Her daughter was having a medical emergency and she was all alone ffs. No empathy whatsoever.

[@JSainte17]

They could have obtained that info though.

[@xElvirax]

@@JSainte17 have you ever been admitted to a hospital?

[@vulpixle9659]

Also wtf is with the YTA with ArE yOu gOiNg tO PeRfOrM ThE SuRgErY like bruh

[@gaxalee7392]

@@vulpixle9659 That pissed me off. Apparently, providing emotional support and needing emotional relief aren’t things that the everyday person would need during stressful situations.

[@manxgirl]

16:23 - I don't mind display food. Just so long as it"s "display FIRST food". That means, it's for the photos, but after the photoshoot, everyone's free to dig in. Because no matter how beautiful it is, food is still good.

[@imperialspacemarine1539]

Story 2: I, *AN INTROVERT WITH ALMOST 0 EXPIERIENCE IN PARTIES* , can tell this wasnt a fucking party. 3 year olds want to fucking play not stand arround and being bossed arround for one photo shoot after another. it wouldnt be a wild guess that the birthday kid didnt have fun either. also to remove your kid *before* it has a meltdown is pretty responsible IMO. Like whats better a kid screaming, crying and interrupting the "party" or the kid being removed just before that? NTA

[@1911odisea]

Story 1: Genuinely, what was the point of not going to the wedding? It does nothing for the step-sister and hurts the sister a lot. It's purely about their emotions and that's not the wisest policy on someone else's wedding day. I understand they were in distress, but they still made a decision. That decision may be understandable, but it's also understandable if the sister chooses to never speak to them again, *especially* the father. His reaction just kinda confirms his bad behaviour.

[@sweetstacks3631]

Hold up. Story 1 OP said she and dad carpooled. OP could not have driven herself to the wedding. When they arrived at the hospital, even if OP had suggested they go to the wedding after knowing Grace was ok, there's no indication that dad would have obliged, and OP was too out of sorts to drive. Seems to me she had no choice but to stay. Dad's the asshole, not OP.

[@JSainte17]

OP could have driven. She stated she was "uncomfortable" not unable.

[@xElvirax]

@@JSainte17 she said she wasnt in a state to drive. Dont force people to drive these killer machines when they're not fully up for it. Its why we even tell people who are tired to stop at the side of the road and take a powernap. Edit: driving tired is like driving drunk. Dont do it.

[@sweetstacks3631]

@@JSainte17 I mean, if she's shaken up by what happened and extremely stressed as a result, then nah. She's also still a kid, and we also don't know if she's just underplaying her state of mind. What's just uncomfortable for one person can be extremely distressing to another.

[@GiordanDiodato]

yeah have him ABANDON HIS WIFE

[@cheekyweb8055]

@@JSainte17 driving with bad anxiety is not safe.

[@sumonelse1989]

"Cake is life." BLASPHEMY! Cake is a fluffy lie! The Truth is in the PIE!

[@judyjohnson9610]

My vote is on cheesecake

[@sumonelse1989]

@@judyjohnson9610 Nooooo...the one cake I cannot resist!!!