Marry Up or Don't Marry

[@gigif169]

The funny thing is, men understand this. Reason why poor men will use shame/threats to get women to date them.

[@dch1421]

Yes. They also use guilt (you owe me) and pity to get you to date them.

[@duhsunnyday8590]

Yes exactly and when u do give them a chance they look down on you !

[@sharmindecruz9757]

And then when they get rich what they do? Go after the same gold diggers they complain about.

[@coilyqueen312]

Right! The world was built for him to succeed.

[@NG-th8ny]

Say it again with that deadass stare! 😂🤣

[@nameunknown1519]

This was some of the HOTTEST tea I have ever heard. I definitely caught it and will move accordingly.

[@levelintent]

I agree... sometimes I see white men who are doing average and just think to myself, wow they are not using their privilege to the highest extent...

[@sharmindecruz9757]

Right, they are the most privileged.

[@Musicmelishere]

What you said truly got to me. I never really thought of marrying up or down. I only focused on marrying the right person for me. But after that watching your video, I did some research and found out that it is very dangerous for women to marry down. You just potentially saved me a whole lot of alternate life-path hell! Because my journey to get to where I am in life right now was hell! Against all odds, and I mean against all odds! I managed to get here. Even though I am no where close to where I want to be in life, imagine making such mistakes that will cause me to lose everything I struggled to achieve and worse. The thought of this is terrifying. Thank you so, so, so, much for this video. You are doing God’s work.

[@BREASHONTELL]

My mom raised me like that only date up never down absolutely not 🙌

[@haitianhonie]

Say it AGAIN! I felt this in my spirit.

[@luw5244]

Marry up or be like Oprah😂

[@sharmindecruz9757]

Facts, dont marry if it dosent benefit you, especially bw.

[@EvolvingMama_]

💯I am living proof. Don’t do it 😭

[@The7MISSFITS]

You are not lying. The only time I’ve dated a white man is when he was paying for my classes/education and/or actually paying bills 😂 and I did have a real attachment beyond that, but I’m realistic- I’m not going to put up with the bs that comes with interracial dating and then also have to sponsor my own goals.

[@Euphoricspace]

You just made me reconsider my whole life....😊

[@2010jxavier]

I need to hire you 👏 👏. FACTS!!!

[@KT-sv6jx]

Yeah CATCH It 🪝 CHECK It ✅ Marry Up

[@Greatful0374]

You are too real for most. ❤❤❤

[@ninawestlake14]

Yes! No questions asked. Apply this to all men.

[@desertrose111]

Meanwhile be aware of the middle class who are poor by trying to look rich, buy multimillion dollar house he can’t afford. All that glitter is not gold.

[@ThandoNdlovu-zr3ld]

I can agree with that 👏👏👏

[@eternalabundance39]

I so agree with this message. ❤

[@LisaArmstrong14]

I hear you loud & clear🙌🏾

[@healingypsy]

I say Amen to that !!!!

[@testing1-2three]

Thank you Coach Anwar. 🙏🏽

[@ariakay143]

Coming with the FACTS!!

[@ralenesimpkins4036]

You give the realest advice 🤩

[@Cwade14]

This this this!!!Thank you,because I’ve always felt this way,but people will try to bring you down or put you in your place when you feel like y oh deserve better!

[@APPR.]

💯 Facts

[@TheEtherealMom]

Nothing but the truth is spoken here, a lesson I learned the hard way…. Thank you for speaking in this 💐

[@thundercascadia]

You just blew my mind.

[@ladybutterfliename8195]

I love this coach ❤

[@happynurse1062]

My fairy godbrother always coming with the truth! ❤

[@misstrice84]

It's the pauses for me 😐

[@LiaDominiqque]

💯💯💯💯

[@yzma6142]

Especially if you as a black woman are doing better than average! Your whole trajectory could be affected

[@hmblf687]

Period

[@notyobestie4220]

Teach !

[@MoreThanJustAPrettyFace]

❤

[@Bella_M26]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💍

[@Poodle_Gun]

If I'm white/ redheaded, does this still apply to me? I feel like if I date down in looks, the guys get resentful. I'm like a 7, so enough above average to where it starts to matter.

[@yoohoo952]

haha middle class white guys will be extinct

[@jaelenrandolph2030]

Your rating doesn’t matter to others. How others see and rate you in their private minds matter. With all due respect redhead is a preference that doesn’t always qualify someone as being attractive. It’s definitely unique however not all guys are looking for a redhead

[@yoohoo952]

@@jaelenrandolph2030 no question is, should a white redheaded girl date a middle class white guy? probably yes but she could go for higher class as redheaded because she will be noticed. these rich people are bored and will be happy to meet natural red hair person. and redheaded and black, hey there is some famous couple

[@dch1421]

Look for a man that will provide and protect. Some men get better looking when they treat you well and can provide and protect for you.

[@yoohoo952]

@@dch1421 no today you should take care of yourself and then they will eventually consider you

[@lisasimpson8985]

😂😂😂😂 your face 😂😂😂❤️

[@yoohoo952]

well they could date if they like and love each other 😏 you might don't need more money or you will advance, some people want to advance some not

[@shamon24]

I really enjoy watching your clips Anwar. In fact my husband and I watch them together because your insights are often so profound and authentic. Only here I may respectfully disagree. I married “down” so to speak and it has been very very hard, but I am also realizing that it is better than being completely alone. To some extent, a woman will suffer as much as she allows the gap to consume her thinking. People are multidimensional and how much a man makes is just one part of him. In fact he may not make a whole lot of money because he is not very narcissistic and opted for meaningful jobs rather than high paying ones. As a person of faith, I truly believe God, in His infinite wisdom, makes matches that we need and that may mean we marry someone less formally educated and from a far lower income bracket but is funny and caring. Some ambitious guys may even be late bloomers and they change income brackets AFTER marriage. And the dividends are great when the man starts poor but becomes rich with the support of his lady.

[@nessinay1535]

Shamon, it's nice you've found love and I'm rooting for it to be everlasting, but the last portion of your comment is a great pitfall of many women of years past. "The dividends are great with a poor man and him becoming rich with a great wife." The age of building with a man is over. There are WAY too many stories of women building with men/husbands, get them to great places and higher tax brackets, all for them to drop them like dead weight once they get there. And run off with another woman, where she gets to enjoys the spoils of years of labor on your behalf. The dividends you speak of are actually division and subtraction of money and resources to you that have been cut off as he formally or informally divorces you (and any children you may have had with him) We have seen how burned older women have gotten because of that, and if they're smart and care about the younger women in their lives, they tell them to get their own money and never rely or believe in a man 100%. Because humans, regardless of gender, are extremely fickle. Feelings, even moreso. I agree with Anwar. There's no rhyme or reason to jump into something that could potentially backfire and leave you worse financially, emotionally, physically, than where you started, all in the name of "Love" It's too bad of a bargain. It's better to just bide your time (however fleeting it may be) and jump into something that could at least, in theory, be better for you in the long run. Thus, marry up. Or at least, across.

[@lovebug6388]

​@@nessinay1535YESSSSSSSSSSS! When you date or marry down, they resent you openly sometimes and covertly. They'll use up your youth and resources until the woman they really want is attainable to them. I'm glad the older women are starting to come out & tell the truth about being a "traditional wife" and the origins how they really got married. I'd rather be alone than go backwards in the life I've created for myself. It's a hard pass & hell no for me 🙄

[@nessinay1535]

@@lovebug6388 Thank you. It really is that simple. I'm not saying your life will be perfect with Skittles and rainbows, but it removes some of the pitfalls that can happen vs marrying an average man. A lot of women married the "average man" and the divorce rate sits at 60%. So obviously the average man don't work. Better to gather resources, learn a skill or trade, and stack your money to give yourself a good life. Even if you get older and even regret and cry about "not having a man", you'd be in a better situation financially and physically. Some women are crying, right now, because the husband they gave up their career, physical health, their mental, for is leaving them for a woman that doesn't even know what his favorite color is. I just...I can't let that happen to me. And ALSO struggle for money, now with children I HAVE to take care of because he doesn't want to. If I'm gonna end up crying in my 40s and 50s, let it be out of loneliness. With a expensive bottle of red wine in a nice open space loft. And when I'm done crying, I slide off my cozy slippers into my silk/goose feather bed spread and hope for a better day lol. Rather than being in despair and desperation as a single mother and regretting ALL of my choices related to the man I married.

[@lovebug6388]

​@@nessinay1535VERY true. It's one thing to struggle by myself. It's a whole different ballgame for me to be struggling because of bad decisions I made. I've learned that lesson romantically and otherwise. I'm in my 40s, single and childless. Being a single mother let alone a married single mother is not an option. Finances, ambition, and work ethic definitely play a role in the vetting process. I'm not settling in neither the looks department nor any other area that makes a great relationship capable. I deserve it all because I know I'm worth it 💯

[@jaelenrandolph2030]

Damn this is tough and a reality on both sides. Men who marry down also experience similar things with women. They will jump to the next branch when things are not looking good where they are. People are crazy. Marry a crazy person or stay single and keep it simple. Single isn’t a punishment by the way

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

Meh. Middle class with education is fine. Still 20x improvement than other communities. Or specialized skills blue collar skills. You get to true upper class, they are NOT just letting them marry anyone and will disown them as its extremely important who they mate with the higher they go in clas.s

[@C_theesiren]

I said that but In a ghetto where like why you struggling with a yt man just hustling backwards!

[@gurlycash7394]

We need to talk about this more. Sir, what have you been doing with all your privileges 🤷🏿‍♀️ Eww

[@user-ij5sp4zv5h]

Like he’s literally lazy if he’s middle class

[@LL949]

Makes sense. You want the best possible DNA for your kids, and a yt man that isn’t winning somehow probably doesn’t have prime DNA… That also means you should definitely breed with a brother/sister that is!!! I know a poor BM (that even in old age is still extremely handsome) that only has highly educated babymomma’s and now only has highly educated kids!

[@NG-th8ny]

‘Only has highly educated babymommas’. I think you missed the message! 😂

[@lovebug6388]

This was a big miss. If he ONLY has baby mamas, something is missing from the equation. Did he not think enough of himself & the children to marry any of them? Furthermore the pluralization of mamas let's everyone know he doesn't have zipper control & he definitely doesn't know how to pull out. He's not a catch, he's a liability waiting to happen. No matter how he looks he's older which means he'll be needing a caretaker soon. Ladies run from Pop Pop🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️💨💨💨💨

[@watseverything]

Right! Nobody cares if he's cute!​@@lovebug6388

[@LL949]

Ok, a couple of things: 1. I’m not saying the guy was a catch. He just (unintentionally) ended up with an outcome that proves my point: your children will likely inherit your partner’s talents, so be mindful of who you breed with. 2. This guy targeted successful women, for a number of reasons: money, bragging rights, a personal preference/fetish. And despite being educated, these women thought they were God’s gift to him. So they got comfortable when they shouldn’t have and because they wanted “pretty” (LS) babies. 3. Most of these relationships lasted years, and back then many BW still thought it was okay to carry before they married. In short, in my example a guy did what women SHOULD be doing, and now benefits from the outcome.

[@lovebug6388]

@@LL949 your clarification ONLY MAKES this point even the more missed. Breed? What are we dogs, cows, or horses? And the ladies couldn't have gotten too comfortable because they realized what he was and left him. I'm positive they're better off than he is. Same with the children no thanks to him. Furthermore it makes no difference how beautiful and or smart your children are if they don't want to be bothered with you 🙄🤦‍♀️ So much for a legacy 😬

[@chasefasten4120]

#diminishing-returns-on-investment