11 Stages of a Physical Affair

[@anhtuyetnguyenthi2010]

1. Your partner leans away from the marriage 2. Become aware of another person 3. Innoncent meetings 4. Planned innoncent meetings 5. Linger in conversations in group settings 6. Conversations shift to feelings, not necessarily about each other, but about any topic 7. Isolated meetings under the guise of a legitimate purpose 8. Isolated meetings for pleasures 9. Playful subtle touches 10. Embraces with chemistry and passion, admit feelings toward each other 11. Adultery

[@YSPhons]

Saved me so much time.

[@alive4627]

My marriage survives but, more than two decades later, her affair still tears at my heart. I adored her.

[@BadBadgerTrollAccount172]

Aw, thanks for the hope 😆... We're at about a year and a half after I found out. I don't feel like I'll ever be able to look at my wife the same.

[@gmhtown]

I’m almost three years in after discovery. My heart is still torn. She’s not as beautiful to me as she once was.

[@regondi]

Almost 2 years later and countless lies from my wife, we’re still married and going to counciling but she is not the same person to me. The emotional roller coaster is ripping me apart. Some days I don’t even want to look at her let alone talk to her. I’m convinced it may get better but it will never be what I thought it was.

[@alfx5432]

I just about had affair with my neighbor lady. It's long story , but I will keep it short. I believe we had a attraction for each other. I believe they were having problems in there marriage. They planned on retirement and selling the home and moving I know didn't she didn't want to, this day came up when she asked me to help her with the bed. She was in her nightgown when she asked me from her front door. Her husband was gone out of the country for about a month. I said I will be right over. But she said give me a min I need to change and she did , I believe I helped her put the lower sheet on the bed because she had back pain, I did help her , my thoughts were if she going offer me a glass of wine. But she didn't. I was hoping she would , but I did not make a move on her because they were my friends, O' but i so wanted to have her , I don't know if she make a move on her. But didn't.

[@RubyBandUSA]

@@alfx5432 you possess one of the rarest traits ... character. Good for you man.

[@traditionalwoman5648]

I can see how a lot of affairs start at work.

[@Loydstardeli2017]

It akot easy to. Pickup woman at work than in the street; it alot easier to turn small talk to a sex/lay date

[@WW3_Soon]

Some coworkers give more attention to someone more than his/her spouse. Coworkers find you attractive, because they don’t really don’t know you, your horrible habits, your temper tantrums, etc.

[@solagratia7998]

Once you feel an attraction and the desire and longing to see the person but you chose to continue to nurture it and keep it a secret from your spouse, you’re cheating because if it’s done to you, you wouldn’t be happy.

[@brightpage1020]

This should be part of premarital counseling. Such valuable insight. Thank you.

[@WW3_Soon]

Yes, but do you want your fiancée to have such ideas swirling in her brain?

[@WW3_Soon]

I read that each one of us has a picture seared in our brain of what the perfect person for us is and when we meet such a person, a light bulb lights up in our brain, our heart begins to beat fast, we have an immediate sensation of euphoria, and we become obsessed with them. This doesn’t mean we’re unfaithful to our spouse, but unless we remove ourselves from this person, we won’t be satisfied with our spouse.

[@melanielucero7976]

I've been healing for the past several months from my husband's emotional affair, and from what you have said he made it to number 10, we are trying to put our relationship back together and so far it is going ok, lots if work to do. Thank your the video and information so insightful.

[@LRS11B]

Thank you for the video. My wife hit stage 8. It took about 4 months. I saw her eyes bulge out of her head when she saw a coworker of mine. I never introduced her to him. I saw the genuine attraction. Inside a few weeks i watched her initiate contact and both of their cell phones came. Then the classic dodgy cell activity began. Then she went AWOL for 9 and a half hours. I finally grew a backbone and confronted her. The B.S. stopped. Not immediately, but within a week.

[@RAdams-us3op]

blessings to you Ms. Rapini. your videos are about the best i've seen on infidelity - and i've been viewing a lot these last 18 months as my marriage of 25 years disintegrates. keep up the good work.

[@andynorton5830]

My wifes story exactly, but she wont admit it, says her affair wasnt planned and 'just happened'. Biggest load of bulls..t ever

[@mikescott5837]

Great information, and I agree about the 11 stages you are defined. Totally agree. The one thing I stalled on was your comments at 7:34: "...they are so lonely for you, so missing you in the room with them...". You made this statement like it is a fact, but I don't believe this to be true in all cases. I would argue that it is possible a spouse is not lonely for you and not missing you in the room. And if so, this might even be a reason the partner found connection elsewhere.

[@jensbornagain]

What stage is it when they start causing fights and being mean for no reason ?

[@jaydee6678]

You are just what I needed to help me figure out what is going on in my marriage. Many of the things are pretty much what I have experienced.

[@basilleaveshoneybees1069]

Elizabeth Marie Ayres of Chapin SC

[@WW3_Soon]

The only reason I never physically cheated on my wife with female coworkers was that I couldn’t bear the reality of her having full-time custody of our two young kids.

[@uncle0eric]

I think your step 1 actually comes after step 2. People lean away after they've already started giving time to someone else - not before.

[@burnsgayle1643]

Thank you,this video has given me alot of clarity.

[@jimobrien6903]

My god your words and descriptions are so spot on.

[@kasheem1747]

At the work place I just experienced this

[@davidmawira1593]

Your videos are informative indeed. Keep it up.

[@precious-fj7ch]

So true. lm going through exactly the same...l love you

[@jensbornagain]

My husband was so mean to during his affair. I mean he may as well hit me. And my question is I know he is lying but he swears no sex was involved but the texts say there was. I remeber all these steps thinking back on it for him and I knew something was going on very early I just couldn’t prove it. Why are they so mean ?

[@Gotoworkkk]

It sounds like he doesn’t want to tell you the truth, unfortunately… he might be in love with the affair partner

[@solagratia7998]

He loves someone else and is mean to you. This is not only cheating but also abuse! Decide if you want to be in this kind of relationship.

[@JaneJones-lg3bd]

@@solagratia7998 That seems to be the thing that everyone misses....the fact that cheating is a form of emotional abuse. That is how they can be so mean. They are abusive people to start with, and usually have a narcissistic streak as well.

[@gcarrillo20]

My husband had an emotional, I since found that he bought “his friend” gifts but insists that she paid him for the online orders. How can I confirm, should I ask her, they are coworkers.

[@Gotoworkkk]

They will both deny it unfortunately…

[@andrewbender9399]

I have so many mixed feelings listening to this. I want to heal my marriage and family, but i truly go back and forth with ambivalence. I wonder if i should just divorce her. I really don't know if she is worth my work. But i have sons... what message do i teach them with any choice i make? If i leave how does it affect them regardless of the timeline or their age... it always has a negative effect on the kids to leave. I two years in with probably 95% truth. 8 years removed from the actual affairs. I know i am no peach. Certainly NOT a.saint either. But i just dont see her work after all the b.s., lies, and trickle truth over the years. I am losing my mind and giving up on hope. And losing my mind again. I am so angry and frustrated.

[@positiveparenting6748]

Thanks for the insightful video. You have great skin btw!

[@NoMoreRatRaceForMe]

You have one lucky husband. You tell it like it is and seem to have a strong moral compass

[@rachelmoore5079]

Wow so insightful thank you Mary x

[@avitenenbaum6676]

Amazing video as usual.

[@sevisophia]

do those steps apply in a one night stand your spouse may have had and not a long term affair?

[@tucomalanga82]

I'm single and at work this married woman has entered my life nothing has happened other than hugs it's been around 7 months and it's amazing how I feel around her I don't know what happened but yesterday I kissed her neck while hugging her and it was a crazy feeling she didn't seem to mind and we both went on about the day

[@rosemaryeze309]

Is it proper for a married woman to have an online boyfriend or online male friend

[@dwwolf4636]

What's the point ?

[@bobsanderz3005]

Only if they have the internet

[@pinkrose3230]

No it will turn into sexual chat after a while..

[@escottn]

Ask her husband.

[@awomansstory.2019]

No.

[@carolnahigian9518]

❤wow❤What an EDUCATION❤

[@ladyvirgo013]

Nothing innocent about any of this. I tried to talk with my husband but he kept saying he was stressing over work,ya that stress was self inflicted. His affair is with the secretary at work. He left his 12 year marriage 2 weeks ago. I'm the collateral damage along with my daughter. He has the vows and she didn't care that he was married

[@MaryJoRapini]

So sad and destructive.

[@laurawalker546]

My husband left me for a colleague at work. We were married 30 years. It was and Remains the most painful mental experience in my life and there are still triggers after 17 years now of being divorced. He is now married to this woman and has been for 15 years. There was always some fault in the marriage, and ours was a lack of honest communication. He could not communicate to me honestly anything that I was doing wrong or where his needs are not being met properly. But these sorts of betrayals are very traumatic and very sickening. It has been a long grieving Journey, and the first couple of years for sure we're tough, scary, and hard work. My life has never been the same but I have been trying to make the best of it and grow from it. And by the way the other woman was also married for 10 years and she left her husband too

[@ladyvirgo013]

@MaryJoRapini it's very devastating. Only takes one weak person in the marriage to destroy so much because frankly, he's more at fault here, he's the one married.

[@ladyvirgo013]

@@laurawalker546 how devastating. Nobody takes vows seriously anymore, I'm sure there is cheating in that marriage as well

[@MaryJoRapini]

So sorry for you snd your daughter! He made a very bad choice that will be part of his family’s legacy for life.

[@neelprakash330]

Good points, but audio is poor.

[@generoll4027]

A/A meetings are like a petri dish for affairs.

[@bruneilange4161]

What about the kidney dish coming together side by side.lol.

[@andynorton5830]

I'm sorry you are completely wrong, according to my wife her affair, just happened, wasn't planned, didn't mean anything and was only sex, looks like I'm the odd man out

[@DancingOwl]

Toi mate to save m'y marriage i fear,.