Matthew & Lavinia | A Sad Story About Love | Downton Abbey

Lavinia had the misfortune of falling in love with Matthew Crawley during the war. In fact, she loved Matthew so much that she was willing to marry him even after being told he would be unable to have children, and then - on discovering his secret love for Lady Mary - she was so keen to get out of their way that she died, quietly, of Spanish Flu.
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[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Lavinia was probably the most selfless person in the series; she risked her reputation to save her family, she was willing to spend the rest of her life caring for Matthew in a time that was unforgiving to the disabled (plus thinking she would never get to have children and never caring about being the future lady of Downton), she never had any harsh feelings toward Mary, and even on her death bed, she was wholly committed to making sure the man she loved and her friend would be happy together and not have to worry about guilt.

[@chloechan549]

Sybil was also very selfless

[@anthony.catbagan]

Lavinia is noble. The irony is that she never was born a noble and yet her character has proven to be better than the noble-born.

[@GoldenRose116]

I wish Lavina found love somewhere els and didnt die... she was such a sweet person. I also really like her and Mary's friendship..

[@Yorkshirefreckles]

I loved Lavina. She was more suited to Mathew in everyway. I think she loved him through and through. She gave up on life to give Mary and Mathew a chance. Now that's true love

[@libbyshooter9680]

Golden Rose I hated her 😂

[@akhishesh]

Downton would not have been saved.

[@KoiYakultGreenTea]

akhilesh v as the heir, Matthews future would be entwined with the estate. It might’ve been a little harder to ensure he gives the Swire fortune, which would be Lavinia’s inheritance, to Robert, but he still would. If anything I think Lavinia would convince him to invest in the estate because she is kind and compassionate and wants the best for Matthew.

[@jehannethompson1432]

Lydia Helen Samuels-Griffths Nah Mary and Matthew for life

[@melmanmoose4282]

Mary was always so kind to Lavinia though. It showed her at her best during the war.

[@KoiYakultGreenTea]

Melman Moose I think Matthew brought out the best in her like that. Mary wanted Matthew to be happy even if it wasn’t with her. She was fond of Lavinia too. Normally we’d expect her to be a vicious bitch but it’s just that much startling that she’s soft and kind now to Lavinia and just goes to show Matthew really had her heart

[@KoiYakultGreenTea]

lora 1111 not all of it. She had her moments. That’s what makes shows good. Not everyone is black and white

[@jehannethompson1432]

No one yeah that’s why I feel that Mary is so much better than Edith in many ways. Mary was cold and strong minded but otherwise she was kind and only a few people knew it which is quiet unfortunate. Edith is more of a snob and she was racist. I would expect Mary or the Dowager to be upset about Jack Ross but no Edith was the one who was horrible

[@jehannethompson1432]

lora 1111 you mean Edith was jealous

[@jehannethompson1432]

Martin Dennis But she could have chosen to be mean to her and not care about her. She could have chosen not to care when Lavinia was crying or to check on her.

[@SafeSpaceInc]

In all fairness, Lavinia was quite beautiful, in a delicate sort of way. She was very gracious and her countenance reflected that grace. (I don't know why she was viewed as "plain" or "un-pretty" by some.)

[@harringt100]

I wondered if it's just because she was a ginger. Wasn't that unfashionable in the early 20th century.(?) There's no accounting for taste in looks, though. A lot of people think Kierra Knightley is a knockout, whereas she looks frighteningly like a famine victim to me. White women aren't "supposed to" find Asian men attractive, but I think a lot of them are really hot.

[@snowangelnc]

The standard of beauty for the time period did play a part in that. There's also the fact that the family wanted Mary and Matthew to get married because of the whole issue with the inheritance, meaning that the two were inevitably going to be compared to each other and that Lavinia was going to be compared unfavorably.

[@earlofbroadst]

I never understood that either. Then again, I have a crush on Zoe Boyle and a general affinity for pale redheads. (Still bearing a torch for one in particular.... *sigh*)

[@jehannethompson1432]

snowangelnc not really. All of them loved Lavinia but Lavinia was a sweetheart and soft in a way so that’s why I guess

[@snowangelnc]

@@jehannethompson1432 The did love Lavinia, but they didn't want Matthew to Mary her instead of Mary. Nobody was outright mean to her, but a few snide comments were made behind her back. I was thinking about Violet's first words upon seeing her for the first time, "well, I guess looks aren't everything."

[@Highpriestess1126]

Lavinia was Matthews guardian angel. She mended his broken heart, was there by his side when he was sick, was willing to nurse him through out life with no expectations of a wife, got out of the way for his true happiness, and even ensured his estate was secured through her father’s will. She left when her role was over in his life to let him live happily. That’s why his death made ABSOLUTELY no sense at all.

[@thebluedoorstep647]

The actor who played Matthew no longer wanted to be a part of the series

[@pameladavis895]

Matthew's character shouldn't have been written off! He could have been replaced with another actor. I feel this was a mistake.

[@KoiYakultGreenTea]

I think a lot of people forget (including myself) that Mary sacrificed her happiness for Lavinia’s and Matthew’s. More than just letting Matthew be happy, but after seeing Lavinia being so heartbroken at Matthew and how much she loved him, she chose not to confess her feelings to Matthew and her chance to earn him back for the sake of Lavinia who she could see loved Matthew genuinely and kindly. She did it for both of them and of course was so kind to Lavinia because she honestly cared for her too. Even if she loved Matthew and wanted him for herslef

[@SummerRain368]

Definitely! Lady Mary was so wonderful to Lavinia as if she were her own best friend. I believe that’s what Lavinia’s personality drew out of people. Their own kindness.

[@roy.shrestha]

Lavinia was the sweetest angel. I wish she hadn’t died. Girl deserved so much better 🥹

[@leiaslizzy]

Even though I prefer Matthew/Mary over Matthew/Lavinia, I love Lavinia as a person. She loved Matthew so much that she wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with her. I remember when Anna and Daisy were playing that game, and the message was "May they be happy". That was right before Matthew proposed to Mary, and it was Lavinia, I am sure of it.

[@gerardcollins80]

I've never really had the highest opinion of Mary's character, but this is one arc in which I had massive respect for her. She was never mean or took out resentment or jealousy on Lavina despite pressure from other members of her family, and was in fact warm, welcoming, and supportive to her.

[@kalex270]

I always loved how kind Mary was to Lavinia. She could have torn her to shreds out of jealousy, but she chose to be better than that up until Lavinia’s last breath. Love her character.

[@yankeeangel26]

Me too. After what we saw of Mary in the first season, I was sure she would set out to make Lavinia's life a living hell. I'm glad the show chose a different direction.

[@SS11660]

She did it for Matthew.

[@hannahdyson7129]

​@@SS11660She didn't. She went to her grave twice at least . She loved Lavina

[@annetteb.3633]

I liked Lavinia so much. I was really sorry for her because she seemed neglected to me and that was something she didn't deserve. I wished the best for her. She showed us what the REAL LOVE is.

[@MsJubjubbird]

Matthew liked a fight. Lavina couldn't give him that

[@annnnike]

I respect Mary for not sabotaging their relationship. A lot of people would.

[@gigi-1753]

but she did😂

[@Tatsukoi.muffin]

​​@@gigi-1753She did indeed

[@hannahdyson7129]

​@@gigi-1753Not really

[@gigi-1753]

@@hannahdyson7129 how not so?

[@elinanderzon2922]

Even though Mary has made a lot of mistakes throughout the show I think we all saw the best version of Mary when she was with Matthew and when she spent time with Lavinia. She was always nice to her even though she was broken hearted

[@kristelpi652]

That’s because Mary is a kind hearted character with a slightly cold exterior. People think that when a high positioned woman exudes confidence or defends herself sharply, she is evil. I see so many people calling Mary a bully but I have never seen her character purposefully target or be disrespectful to a vulnurable character, like for example Thomas or Edith or miss O’Brian. The narrative that was pushed on her character after Matthew died, that she was “a bitter bully but her dead husband made her kinder”, was a flanderisation and made to feed the mass who didn’t identify with her imo. She was always a respectful and fair person, it wasn’t something new. End of rant.

[@elinanderzon2922]

@@kristelpi652 but she was mean to Edith

[@kristelpi652]

@@elinanderzon2922 she was only mean to edith when edith was mean to her, when edith was trying to bully her to be exact.

[@elinanderzon2922]

@@kristelpi652 Edith never bullied Mary

[@aks477578]

@@elinanderzon2922 the letter to the Turkish Embassy has entered the chat.

[@phalynwilliams4119]

Lavina was a sweet girl who deserved better treatment.

[@jehannethompson1432]

Lúthien Cora?

[@jehannethompson1432]

Martin Dennis I won’t say against. They just wanted Mary to be happy but Mary didn’t want to ruin Lavinia, that’s why she never told about the Marconi scandal. But the Dowager came to like Lavinia I think

[@KatBaumgarten]

I love how sweet Mary is with Lavinia. You can tell she really wants to get along and be friends for matthew's sake

[@TheTewjr]

Lavinia would have made a wonderful eventual Countess. She was gracious, kind and selfless to the end. Truly an amazing woman.

[@BeautifulJ]

Matthew should have married Lavinia

[@user-hb4zz4gh5e]

Such a sweet soul! She deserved so much better😞

[@SpongeBobfan3646]

I loved Lavina and felt so bad for her. To be in love with a man who loves another is heartbreaking and the scene where she comes into the room and Cora is the only one who was kind to her while Robert is giving her a cold stare along with Carson. Then while she is ill her fiance and his ex are smooching downstairs. Heartbreaking indeed.

[@BeautifulJ]

True.. Matthew shouldn't have kissed Mary.

[@msfriendsfan4ever788]

Lavinia was such a sweet and caring person. She desvered to find love somewhere else.

[@Yorkshirefreckles]

Lavina was truly in love with Mathew. She deserved him through more then Mary. I love the fact she gave up her life for Mathew.

[@RochelletheRealtor]

She died from a disease that killed millions. It wasn’t self sacrifice.

[@LoggyWD]

She was a plot device which has no personality whatsoever. She is a tool which doesn't think for herself. Well deserved fate.

[@QueenKordeilia]

@@RochelletheRealtor Lydia was clearly referring to Lavinia's willingness to enter a sexless and childless marriage with Matthew when she mentioned sacrifice. She wasn't talking about literal sacrifice of life.

[@jehannethompson1432]

The Effortless Naturalista definitely she can’t kill herself

[@snowangelnc]

Matthew did mention that he believed the heartbreak she suffered right before she died contributed to it by taking away her will to live. I'm not saying that she wouldn't have died anyway, but it wasn't unreasonable for him to think that.

[@jm1657]

Zoe has a really beautiful quality to her voice, imo. It’s distinctive. Very ear-catching☺️and memorable. Michelle does as well. I could listen to them speak all day.

[@jamiejosh96]

Would like to think Lavinia and Matthew would be up in heaven as friends

[@areebairfan7828]

Ah these videos make me realise how series 2 was the best season of Downton.

[@alberttsai8832]

Season 3 was the best for me all the way up until Matthew’s death at the very end of the Christmas special... I mean yes, Sybil died. But Matthew and Mary were so happy and in general I feel like the family was just happier (aside from when Sybil’s death happened). Besides the fashion for S3 was on point, what with all the wedding dresses, etc.

[@jehannethompson1432]

Albert Tsai Exactly. The seasons went downhill especially for Mary. I was absolutely raging with anger when she married that useless car driver lol

[@bobbidazzler1343]

@@jehannethompson1432 She should have married Charles Blake.

[@karenax254]

Lavinia had a beautiful character.

[@kennedy78]

I know many people dislike Mary, but I don’t think she’s a bad person. I do think her personality in the first season could’ve used a softening and I think she did in the coming seasons especially in season 2 she was kind to Lavinia and their friendship was so beautiful. Love makes you do crazy things. And while she definitely was very entitled in the first season and I do think she was mean to Edith but in later seasons they became very close and who can say they haven’t been rude to their siblings or jealous of them at least at some point in their life? Nobody. Mary is not perfect and neither is any person

[@jehannethompson1432]

Exactly. I have family members who I live but I can’t stand them. Literally

[@manuelacharberger]

I agree in that she isn't a bad person but she was frightfully cold many times. That's why I think people tend not to like her as a character.

[@hannahdyson7129]

So why potentially ruin Marigolds life to spite Edith?

[@lasschick1]

I really liked Lavinia. I wish her story was different

[@loliver9660]

Everyone says that Matthew brought out the best in Mary...but I think it was Lavinia. She didn't have a selfish bone in her body and showed kindness, devotion, and grace to everyone. Mary could have treated her badly for being with Matthew, but I don't think even she could bring herself to hate someone so pure. Each time they spoke, Mary had to relive the heartbreak of losing Matthew, but she never treated Lavinia with anything but kindness and always helped her through her struggles. Lavinia made Mary into the kindest, most selfless person she ever was in the whole show.

[@soleilcuellar8687]

I totally forget that character, what a sweet lady!

[@dwaekkisinsanity5233]

Lavinia's like so pretty, what do ya'll mean with "plain" 🙂?

[@ayakotami3318]

Lavinia was one of my favorites! Both she and Sybil were two I wish didn't die. And both died in terrible ways: Spanish Flu and Childbed Fever! 😭

[@elinanderzon2922]

Eclampsia

[@ABirdOnTheMoon]

It’s sad that Mary’s behavior isn’t seen wrong and so is Mathew’s. Poor Lavinia!

[@ragecandy]

The fact that they killed her off just so matthew could be with mary and then killed him too is nasty

[@gee2541]

Matthew and Mary were always the pivotal couple of the show though. And Matthew only died because Dan Stevens left

[@susannestein3955]

I feel so bad for Lavinia!

[@veethau1218]

Cora is so beautiful

[@timothy1949]

Just finished season 2 and I am devastated the she died...she is an angel, I wish I could find my Lavinia, but she must not be that selfless and she will have good health and live a long long life with me

[@reddavis4808]

I felt so bad for Lavinia @ 7:33. She probably saw all of it.

[@caoimhebrowne466]

Poor Lavinia, she was such a sweetheart and she deserved Matthew more than mary did 💔

[@_Astral_Traveller_]

Ok we both know that's not true😤

[@user-mv6cl5yn4v]

Lavinia’s Story touched my heart deeply. You know what, I’m madly loving a girl that I thought it was our almighty god who chose her for me. I fell in love with her since the first time I met her, just like how Lavinia began to love Matthew. I had waited so long, and one day I finally confessed my love to her. Sadly, the result didn’t turned out rather satisfying. Now, she is the girlfriend of another gentleman. Their love is jolly sweet that sometimes it did make me envy and feel sad. But anyway, I will always love her and will always be waiting for her. This love is unrequited, just like Lavinia’s love to Matthew. I’m not as generous as Lavinia, so if I say I wish them be happy, then it is definitely a lie. However, if I say I wish her to be happy, then that is the truth which comes from my heart. If she is happy, then there’s nothing for me to complain about.

[@thisisme3161]

피터 벤저민파커 That’s sweet but for your sake and happiness please don’t wait for her, and try to move on, especially if she’s already turned you down…life is usually not like in the movies, if she didn’t love you then, why would she love you one day ? It may be hard to accept that but that’s that ; anyways I wish you happiness

[@georgeprchal3924]

Unrelated but does anyone else think Mary and Charles were better than Mary and Henry?

[@aafiyahamidah4685]

I prefer Mary-Evelyn

[@MsDoctorWhoFan1]

George Prchal tony Gillingham would have made more sense. He was here childhood friend and he was an Earl. Mary would have been a countess as she would have been.

[@oliviaswindler7258]

Absolutely!!

[@jehannethompson1432]

Aafiya Hamidah Evelyn was full but Mary and Evelyn were good friends

[@jehannethompson1432]

Amy E but Charles Blake was way smarter and could run and estate and some of those lovely arguments that Mary and Charles had were nice

[@liathano]

Unfortunately, saints don't make good wives/husbands. Lavinia truly loved Matthew by admitting and making him admit he loves Mary and not her but she lacked too much of self-estime for her own good.

[@AlexdrinaArmstrong94]

You Put it Beautiful.

[@Tatsukoi.muffin]

I dissagree. Matthew didn't deserve Lavinia

[@hannahdyson7129]

Matthew didn't deserve any of them

[@kaytiemyers2698]

Lavinia couldn't have reacted or bounced back as well as Mary when Mathew died though

[@TSD0416]

True that !!! But if Matthew had married Lavinia instead, he would have altered his future and he wouldn't have died in the car accident.

[@GoldenRose116]

Wouldnt say Mary bounched back well... she was basicly a living zombie for 6 months

[@SafeSpaceInc]

Kaytie Broadhurst I agree.

[@ayameisastar]

Golden Rose but if I were to guess I would say that Lavinia is the type to wear black for the rest of her life and never remarry and stay in the shadows of her home raising her child. So the fact that Mary eventually did start her life over again and dated and took over managing the estate shows her ability to bounce back much better

[@vilwarin5635]

@@ayameisastar I´m not sure about that. I think she is the kind of person who would live for her son, as Tom did with Lil Sybil.

[@marig6184]

this is such a sad scene, I would have loved to see them marry.

[@daithi7204]

Lavinias black dress is everything 😍😍💃🏻💃🏻

[@SueProv]

Lavinia looks like a young Annette Benning.

[@user-mv9tt4st9k]

Sir Richard lives up to his nickname.

[@karencotter3453]

What was his nickname?

[@alleycat2502]

Lavinia was absolutely wonderful. So she deserved better. Mathew def shouldn’t have tried to spare her feelings by ignoring his. The truth was worth more than that, she was worth more than that

[@hellogoodbyeandallinbetween]

I really do not like how the arc ended. A third wheel to bring the two lovers together at the cost of her own life 🙄

[@BeautifulJ]

I agree

[@sarawentworth7967]

My great great grandma had the middle name lavinia.

[@JamesNYCGuy3]

Mary always put aside her candle for Matthew to tend to Lavinia.

[@hollywedding6121]

obviously i ship mary and mathew, but lavinia was so sweet and didn't deserve to die the way she did. or at all :(

[@malinhessedahl]

❤❤❤❤

[@darmawanmelodysherinapsfan7136]

Am i the only one who ships Matthew & Lavinia even both are dead before Mary met Henry for the first time

[@mujenn]

You are not the only one. I Always shipped Mathew and Lavinia over Mary.She was an inmature child in the first season. Besides lavinia loved Mathew more than Mary did.

[@Tatsukoi.muffin]

Me too.

[@leticiaherrera1944]

I can't find the music they used for Lavinia's death. It's so tragic.

[@BeautifulJ]

Mary and Matthew are not perfect. They were lying to themselves and poor Lavinia got punished because they were not honest about their feelings. Yes they really did kill her together like Matthew said and no wonder their marriage didn't last long and Matthew died shortly after mary gave birth because they crushed the heart of a gentle soul unnecessarily. They Put lavinia through unnecessary pain.

[@liathano]

Love is not a question of credit but feelings and if on the paper Lavinia truly loved her and dedicated him her life, if Mary made mistakes, so did Matthew and so did Mary (love Matthew I mean) by being happy for Matthew and Lavinia. And I disagree with Lavinia when she said she finally has a little self-estime because she let herself die.

[@hannahchesnutt9812]

Now upload Matthew’s proposal to Mary.

[@shawneaton4029]

Whoa! Deja Vu! Either the universe is laughing or the algorithms here are more invasive than I had imagined (which is saying something)!

[@MarkT1700]

So sad when Lavinia dies of Covid 😔

[@nat0y]

Did anyone read the description box?! Shade lol 😂

[@jehannethompson1432]

I was like it wasn’t that bad

[@MarkT1700]

lmao

[@hpavalferr7201]

😳 💚

[@guyledouche4102]

I never understood how any man would pick Lavinia over Mary, or Mable Lane Fox for that matter...

[@ladyinred3735]

Lavinia just let Mary borrow Matthew for a few more years and sire and heir. But Lavinia took him back soon enough.

[@yahairacalvo8791]

Lavinia deserved better

[@indroyoyoi]

Matthew didnt deserve her

[@Tatsukoi.muffin]

Agreed

[@nightangel8087]

Didnt like the way Mathew treated both women..he acted as if Lavinia was his love front of Mary, wanted to marry her in downtown abbey when he knew Mary loved him, went on with Mary when he had to marry Lavinia..not honorable

[@BeautifulJ]

I agree

[@k.b.6844]

Honestly, Lavinia is way prettier than Mary

[@RhonaDavis-lz3qp]

How sad that lavinia was thrown over

[@libbyshooter9680]

Mary was very selfless in this series xxx

[@jehannethompson1432]

And I loved it

[@anyamuenchgrieser8686]

Lavinia was by far the better choice ❤

[@samanthawhatshername2939]

Lavinia was a sweet, selfless woman ...however I can't help but find her dying scene annoying. No offense.

[@user-vo3io6bo3c]

Matthew never told Mary about Lavinia just decided to bring her in poor Mary so painful i liked Matthew first but as time went on he left Downton to make a love scene in Cornwall he left then to go to America way stay on here when he was going to die

[@hannahdyson7129]

?

[@DeerBoy736]

I began to watch the series a few days ago. I enjoyed the first season I thought no love triangles so far that's great. I hate love triangles with passion. Then i started to watch the second season AND THERE WAS TWO IN ONE EPISODE. So it seems it is the end for me with Downton Abbey. The only thing that maybe could have save for me is to Matthew acting like a grown up person and telling Lavinia that he never should have propose her BUT NO she dies so Matthew doesn't have to make that grown up decision. It seems i will be the only one who glad that he dies in a car crash.

[@taptapbunmaar5759]

You are one twisted person, and you have an opinion which falls in the minority sadly.

[@DeerBoy736]

@@taptapbunmaar5759 Sorry my english is not perfect. Was your answer a compliment?

[@jehannethompson1432]

Your crazy

[@DeerBoy736]

@@jehannethompson1432 Me?

[@jehannethompson1432]

Deer Boy it’s just a way of expression because I don’t agree with you but everyone has their own opinion

[@jaynekranc8607]

She was so...blah. I know she did lots of plot moving good things but I just could not get into that character. Maybe if they'd gone into her back story more?

[@nadineparsons3963]

She's already got the flu.

[@Lampritch]

So characters like Lavinia perish and guys like Sir Richard and Thomas live on and prosper. Sort of what's wrong with Britain these days...

[@fortheloveofcats2462]

Thomas made mistakes, but he didn't deserve the hateful treatment he got.

[@jackofbalarat22]

COVID

[@aprilfisher4947]

WHAT ?

[@mirtokiriazanou766]

Uhg ! Men.....

[@edscottie5126]

wait so could they not be Properly married becuase he also has issues with his err "great Stallion"??? 3:24

[@hauntedmushroomsasmr7716]

It means that the marriage could not be properly consummated, thus they could never have children.

[@catherinewetzel417]

Due to his spinal injury.

[@flyboy152]

By custom, if not by law in those days, a marriage had to be consummated to be considered fully legal.

[@gabrielalopetegui]

Lavinia had to go. Sorry, she was such a sweet girl...but she had to go. Team Mary talking :-)

[@flyboy152]

Yes, that was her sole purpose on the show, was to put another monkey wrench in the long, drawn-out courtship of Mary & Matthew. It took them more than 6 years to get it right. :-)

[@breezymango4113]

I ended up preferring and rooting for Lavinia being together with Mathew. She is much better of a person than Mary was. Why the HECK was he so obsessed and infatuated with her? Mary was cold, selfish, easily swayed, could be cruel and LOOSE/CHEAP....not until quite awhile later was she a decent person. Just because Mary was of high birth and that Mathew was "taking" the inheritance she would have if she wasn't a woman.... I am sorry to the actress, but she is even fairly PLAIN to look at! Her face is NOT very attractive, including her character in this show.🙄😤

[@Tatsukoi.muffin]

Agreed

[@BeautifulJ]

True. Matthew should have married Lavinia

[@hannahdyson7129]

Matthew was horrible full stop . Both Mary and Lavina deserved better

[@kocsogarc]

She was boring