Mean Gays: Unpacking the Stereotype and Real Stories of LGBTQ+ Exclusion | S4 E4

[@cmontesinos007]

Clique (click) and pique (pick) and cirque (cerk) - thanks for the topic - I recently got out of a 10-year relationship and am finding myself having to reinvent my social network, which at age 55 doesn't involve the venues of my youth. I appreciate your perspective on in-group interactions and putting yourself out there and keeping your own interpretations unfiltered. With respect to mean gays - absolutely, online - really not as much in person.

[@christopheroliver7589]

Happy Birthday, Joel. Have a wonderful day!

[@ajaxon319pldunbar]

Clique in French is pronounced as ‘cleek’. In the USA, it’s pronounced as ‘click’.

[@jimtrue1465]

Even in the US, the proper pronounciation is cleek.

[@EddieGonzalez]

In high school in the late 70's / early 80's it was clicks. Absolutism generally proves incorrect. Both are used in the US in my experience.

[@jeffhampton2767]

​@@jimtrue1465FALSE

[@ajaxon319pldunbar]

Happy Birthday, Joel! 🎉💥❤️🇬🇧🌈

[@montsouthern]

Generally, if you're not the far left gay you're labelled mean gay. It's totally ridiculous the way the very load section of the alphabet group get away with labelling everyone.

[@benfisher1376]

Agreed, and both Queer and LGBTQIAXZ is very much about politics.

[@johnathanbowes5996]

Joel, spam is worth trying! I’m biased because I grew up with it, but as an occasional treat, it can be really delicious. (Especially since the less sodium spam still tastes like the regular one.) A Hawaiian way to prepare it is in thick slices simmered in a sauce (usually shoyu [soy/soya sauce] and rice vinegar) and eaten with rice.

[@jeffwatkins352]

“There’s spam, spam, eggs and spam. That’s not got much spam in it.” “I don’t want ANY spam! I don’t LIKE spam!” “Don’t fuss, mum. I’ll have your spam. I love it.”

[@HilltopFarmHomestead]

I don't think I'm a mean gay but I certainly used to be a bitchy gay. Having my teenage years in the late 70's and early 80's was incredibly hard. We were picked on, beaten up call names and not always by peers. Even some teachers would turn a blind eye and on some occasions, join in. On top of that we had to deal with taking the blame for the AIDS epidemic. It was relentless, day after day after day. It's a wonder so many of us got through that. For me a way to cope was to become a "Bitchy Gay"! You guys are so lucky to have been born in a time when being gay wasn't something to be ashamed of. I know we still have a way to go but hey, it's a lot better than it used to be. Keep up the good work with the pod cast.

[@ClaireRader]

Only one "mean gay" story comes to mind in my personal experience. The person was someone higher up the career ladder who didn't know my story (mostly because I'm an introvert) and intentionally cost me my job. However, a lesbian co-worker (who also didn't know my story) took him to court for me as well as others who had been wrongly fired.

[@jimtrue1465]

I am someone who tried therapy and found it to be a waste of time and money. Maybe the problem was my particular therapist, but it was enough to sour me on the whole idea. I have Aspergers, which means I have problems dealing with social situations. I literally freeze up when I'm in a social situation and can't interact with people. My therapist's advice was simply to put myself in such situations and talk. He could not understand that I literally can't do that...that's why I was going to him.

[@orielwiggins2225]

I'm so sorry. Yes, sounds like you got one of the many bad ones. Just like the guys said re mean gays, there are bad ones in every bunch. When Keegan said that I said out loud, not true. Plenty of folks have gone to therapy and been turned off of it due to poorly trained therapists or just folks more interested in the notariety or money than in helping many real people with their real problems. Anyway, here's to you finding ways that actually help you feel less frozen in social settings. I feel ya, only likely on a much less intense level. I find that social one on one is much much Easier on me than groups. I rarely open my mouth in a group and when I do I feel stage freight.

[@jimtrue1465]

@@orielwiggins2225 Yes, I too do much better on a one-to-one situation, but it is still very difficult if I don't know the person. It is strange, because in my professional life, I have no problem talking with clients. I think that is because I am the one in charge and know what I'm takling about. But in a social situation, I'm not in charge, the conversation may drift to something I know little about, or maybe my brain just isn't fast enough to step in with an intelligent and relevant statement. It's amazing how often I think of something to say about a topic long after the topic of conversation has drifted to something else!

[@carlorizzo827]

I'm on the spectrum myself, and therapists vary in receptivity. I had good experiences with therapists, but I had some serious...oops

[@carlorizzo827]

...some serious amnesia re childhood trauma. If you like reading books by psychotherapist, try Shadow Syndromes by John Ratey. The premise is that the current most commonly recognized mind/brain conditions exist in mild form across the population. The chapter on shadow autism was super helpful

[@chimangohara3393]

​I struggle with social anxiety a lot, so I totally get the stress of talking to someone new-constantly worrying about what to say, how to reply, or what to do if the conversation turns to something I don’t know much about. Our situations might be different, but what really helped me was realizing that I don’t always need to be in control of the conversation. Sometimes, letting go a little and allowing things to unfold naturally opens up space for more genuine connections. It’s scary, it can make you feel uneasy, and it won’t always go perfectly. But being willing to open yourself up to that uncertainty can make interactions feel more real and meaningful. @@jimtrue1465

[@PokhrajRoy.]

I’d love to see you collab with The Mean Gays

[@orielwiggins2225]

Good points guys. And fun episode again.

[@jeffhampton2767]

Its click the way Keegan says it. 😊

[@AdamF1972]

Good episode lads. I think youre right about if you feel vulnerable yourself on an issue and then someone hits a nerve, it feels all the more intense and personal.

[@ScottRosenquist]

OMG Joel, no one on earth pronounces it clique, it's click. #TeamKeegan

[@Kenneth-p6j]

I love this channel....I look forward each week. 🎉

[@joemalick]

Good episode, I like the different perspectives. Sorry, Joel, it’s like “click”, what the heck is a “cleek” … 😂 and did I misinterpret this, or is your cleaning lady 84 years old? If so, she must be in great shape! 😂

[@kev2020]

MIA/NYC/LA home of the mean gays. I went to a party hosted by my BF's friend. A guy came up to me and we chatted for a bit. He gave me a compliment and said that he could never go on a date with me because two twinks would be awkward together. I jokingly pointed out my BF and then gestured at myself saying "Twink where? Maybe an XL twink" while laughing. He was then determined to define the weight range that qualifies a twink and tried to start an argument when I changed the topic. It was the most bizarre thing and I excused myself and joined another conversation. Later on my boyfriend and the host said that the guy had gone around telling people that I'd fat shamed him and was a mean gay. They'd known that it was out of character and just wanted to hear my side. The host informed me that it all tracked because the other guy really hated his body and was often a victim. He'd excluded him in the past and that turned into a mess because the guy said that it was weight related despite the host being overweight as well.

[@joannunemaker6332]

I love your show! I enjoyed this video. 😊❤

[@mikiewifnoe360]

Keegan is right with the pronunciation.

[@robertschwartz4810]

JOEL! Corned beef should never come out of a can! It's a cured beef brisket. The curing is done by the pink salt used, along with herbs and spices. On another note, I just saw "The Mean Gays", a comedy duo from the internet, on our Morning News show, yesterday!

[@jeffwatkins27]

Your observations about cruel humor backfiring reminded me of Jane Austen’s Emma. The title character’s offhand but incredibly harsh jibe at her friend Miss Bates earns Emma not only the just censure of the man she loves but also estrangement between friends. What was unacceptable behavior in 1815 is just as bad today. Well done, lads!

[@bobcatjordan]

Merriam-Webster-provides both pronunciations.

[@kuransays]

Great episode, love it guys - thank you for all you do! 🤗😊❤️

[@Dragonmoon1598]

Not that Keegan needs our approval. But, love the sound effects.😁

[@kev2020]

I have a decorative call bell that I think looks amazing. My bf will aggressively ring it after he's made a point. Doesn't have to be valid but he punctuates it with that annoying ring and saunters away. He'd absolutely love that airhorn. lol!

[@thomfrost2594]

In the States it's "click" spelled clique.

[@Awesomeficationify]

From the states and it's pronounced "cleek" for me.

[@Leawoody]

Sarcasm is never a language of love in serious situations, relationships, and conversations

[@pcroberts4061]

❤ pronunciation aside, I love you both!

[@gegemec]

As a 71yo gay man, let me tell you the gay "community" of young men can be very mean. The best test for how mean a gay man can be might be linked to the social standing, colour, ethnic heritage, disability status or age of the person the other person might be. Empathy is a big part of many gay men, but so is an inclination to dismiss. I had to leave the city when I became older, because I was so hurt so often by ghetto-ized gay men.

[@harimsen]

A fried Spam sandwich with grape jelly was one of my favorite childhood snacks!

[@kuransays]

Oh my God that sounds so yummy! 😋❤

[@steckbrogames]

Noooooo guys come on, don’t take sponsorship money from BetterHelp!! Seriously. Are you not aware of the utter horrors that have come from that outfit? I’m really disappointed.

[@mikiewifnoe360]

Of course, there are mean gay folk. So, One does not have to allow meanness.

[@caan74]

Oh! There is this old song by Todd Rundgren: "I'm in the clique"😂

[@geofflilley7465]

I like the effects - Keegan's like a kid! xxxx

[@chrisk5651]

I agree with Keegan with his view that it is an armor & a defense mechanism for survival!!!

[@Emzickle]

Absolutely clique is ‘cleek’ 😂 like mystique, unique, boutique, critique

[@ianriddell9784]

Too right... oh no, Joel folded and went clicky😂

[@pcroberts4061]

Hi there, over here in the US if someone is part of a clique, then we’re going to pronounce it click.

[@Kenneth-p6j]

Im a good gay. ❤😊

[@chrisk5651]

I’m from the metropolitan New York area and I’ve never had Spam but my dad liked it.

[@pelasion5099]

I’m confused why half the comments are about the pronunciation of clique when the video is 41 minutes long 😂

[@PhilipWeisman-dl4ik]

Joel, as to your supposed status to your landlady, you are Joel Wood, Backstreet Boy or Boi. Lol, lol, lol

[@kevinasaurus]

It’s click, not cleeeeeeek. Sorry Joel!

[@jeffhampton2767]

You don't get a real summer in England 😊

[@jeffhampton2767]

Joel mispronounces Taco. It's not Tacko. Also Amazon It's not Amazin. 😊

[@authorjdnichols]

sorry Joel...it's click, not cleek.

[@Peter-fv2vi]

Joel is right, clerk, pique, is peek

[@donaldskinner-reid8998]

Joel is right. Clique not click.

[@Cobraprincess-y3h]

😘😘😘😘💞💞💞💞

[@EddieGonzalez]

If you like spam, next time you are in the US find a Hawaiian place and try musubi.

[@bikerpaul68]

Sorry Keegan, but in the UK "clique" is pronounced "cleek" and "cliquey" (horrible word) is pronounced "cleeky".

[@chrisk5651]

But Joel only pronounced it as clicky (which he did a ton of times) NOT ever cleeky.

[@chrisk5651]

Spam = SPiced hAM

[@Peter-fv2vi]

Joel is right, cleek

[@monty65556]

Joel is correct "clique" is pronounced the French way and not click the American way

[@calvindavis3641]

Joel, you are doing it again, cutting Keegan off before he can finish his thought. Temper yourself down a bit friend. I think it's because you are used to being alone on the camera, you jump to say "I don't" or "that's not me or how I do things". Just be aware when someone in the room is already talking. It's the polite way to say you are listening as well.

[@EddieGonzalez]

^ Mean gay

[@adriancole745]

They interrupt each other a lot. If you watch other videos keegan interrupts Joel a lot too. I think it's just their method of communication.

[@kathleenchild]

I personally enjoy the way they interact. There is lots of energy in their conversations which makes for an interesting video. 😊

[@orielwiggins2225]

Interesting that you only addressed Joel in this perceived offense, as Keegan is equally "guilty " of it. It's their personality. It's what makes their episodes so engaging to half the audience.

[@kuransays]

​@@EddieGonzalezExactly! LMAO 😂