Meltdown in Trader Joe’s - Gary Gulman

[@deborahdobberfuhl5776]

I am a cashier at Whole Foods - I have enough material for you for another 20 shows! I love you - thanks for some comic relief 😂

[@jcb3393]

The best I can offer you is "back cutsies". Such a great, elementary school response to this woman's childish behavior.

[@calisongbird]

jcb3393 what IS back cutsies?

[@kidsofyesterday17]

@@calisongbird it's where she could have gone directly behind him rather than all the way at the back of the line

[@VolvoImpala]

She DESERVED the back of the line for her attitude.

[@arribaficationwineho32]

@@calisongbird meaning you may not cut in front of me but may def cut behind me.

[@caade_1967]

@@arribaficationwineho32 Yeah and "I don't want to deal with you so you can deal with the person behind me

[@Kazyman]

lol...."You WERE ahead of me.....until you went shopping." ROTF!

[@Threedog1963]

As I was listening to this story and imagining it happening to me, I could feel my blood pressure go up. Lol

[@aaronsmith1023]

Same and I worked at a Supermarket for 1 1/2 years. 90% of the customers are like that bitch in his story.

[@angelicamartinez-ly9zd]

@@aaronsmith1023 6yyt tu túnel y t7t_6d%/-/-//@##/$/55=

[@user82938]

Every second of every day is like this in NYC. Worst city on Earth.

[@BeatMower]

Absolutely 😂! People suck

[@jeffryphillipsburns]

@@user82938 I was amazed the first time someone cut in front of me in the grocery store. I was in my early thirties and had just recently moved to Madison, Wisconsin. It had never happened to me in St. Louis, Missouri where I grew up, in Rockford, Illinois, or in Dekalb, Illinois. In Rockord people stop at green lights. In Chicago people go through red lights. In Madison, they do both.

[@OhighOSkater]

Not all hero’s wear capes. Thank you for your service sir!

[@johnb1391]

And some superheroes are even fish. Could you imagine what might happen if every superhero had to wear a cape? Even the fish? We'd end up with Cape Cod!

[@OhighOSkater]

@@johnb1391 Lmao. That's pretty funny 🤣😂

[@nikanj6]

Trader Joe's humor. He knows his audience. I can't wait for an opportunity to say "...they know they were out crazied" that's comedy gold.

[@_braune_]

That was a Grade A rant. I loved it.

[@geraldbrienza4474]

I’ve been in this situation. What I do while she’s gone is take a few things out of her cart that I like and put them in mine. I also add a couple of items from the side racks into her cart. I make small talk while she’s getting ringed up to keep her from noticing. Works great and I leave with a big smile. 😊

[@1stGeorgiaGirl]

Oh, you're good.

[@aureas]

🤣

[@victoriasinatra]

Lol! Loving it!💙💚💛🧡❤💙💙💙💙💙

[@2degucitas]

You are the passive aggressive queen

[@AndreasAntics]

Oh we should be friends

[@energyturtle46]

"Crushing my lentil chips rendering them useless"

[@velocitygirl8551]

Alex Avakian because they’re for dipping, not toppings

[@stacyhackney6100]

I've seen those lentil chips. I've gotta get some. I never seem to have enough money, and they're not even pricey.

[@kstamps410]

Very funny and satisfying. "Yeah, no." 😂

[@laurenpowers2729]

This has to be the Trader Joe’s on 72nd & Broadway! Been there!

[@platystrophia]

RING THE BELL! IVE BEEN STRUCK!

[@jennyrudoff2829]

Heather McC Awesome!! I can hear that captain's bell now

[@jenniferlawrence1372]

Oh my gosh I got SO ANXIOUS just listening to this.

[@debbie94510]

That's the purpose and the strength of good comedy!

[@calisongbird]

debbie94510 making us anxious? 😂

[@Jgm-gm9wi]

Gary will not only split your sides with laughter, he’ll school you in vocabulary. Well played, sir.

[@blueandgreenslacks]

Pic to video...priceless!

[@1stGeorgiaGirl]

Simultaneously no doubt.

[@mort8568]

if *what’s* that important to me? *justice??*

[@TheScottGillies]

I LIVE THIS DAILY AS AN EMPLOYEE THERE!!

[@Churro_Flaminguez]

He oughta be right up there with Jim Gaffigan as one of the best performing comedians of these times. Consistently really funny, with new material regularly and a clean comedian, a tough nut to crack.

[@klove_88]

That’s when she realized she’d been out-crazied. 🤣🤣🤣

[@timmosher6340]

K Love, I used that tactic lots of times living on Lower East Side of NYC & hacking a taxi in NYC at night. I never got mugged or robbed & often I get a large tip driving a passenger with the comment " You're crazy man!"

[@HankleburyTV]

I encountered the same belittling "if it's that important to you" sneer while calling out a line-cutter in a NYC grocery store. I think these people are all signing up for the same Aggressive Shopping course!

[@gmar7836]

Next time that happens to you just at the top of your lungs point to the person in front of you that cut you and yell out “line cutter right here!!”

[@glend.7865]

perfect! Self-defense 101.@@gmar7836

[@dantheman8279]

Smart, so smart and so absolutely funny! Gary’s talent for relaying his over thinking in real life to hilarity is a gift. Thank you Gary G.

[@LindyLouCantu]

Such a great story! Incredibly written and delivered. Loved it!

[@tiotito31]

I love Gary Gulman. Always a pleasure to listen to.

[@musicsaves71590]

So glad he's releasing stand up again! Or at least so glad comedy central is finally giving him airtime again

[@llm8268]

Hilarious. Loved this , very relatable and funny. Thank you for posting.

[@joycemansfield1108]

I live in connecticut and our trader Joe's is next to Westchester and this behavior is spot on.

[@morpheos111]

I was once in a line and the man in front of me was arguing with the cashier because he thought she smiled the wrong way when she was ringing the small sized condom he wad buying.

[@kellylyons1038]

I know it was probably a typo but i like the use of "wad" instead of "was" in this context

[@Deenique16]

Lol one time I had a couple give me a coupon for condoms. I heard them whispering "you gonna give it her"? "Idc I'll give her the coupon". This went on for a little while and I wanted to jusylt snatch the damn coupon out of their hand

[@morpheos111]

@@kellylyons1038 lol. Glad it works.

[@morpheos111]

@@Deenique16 :-) I wouldn't wanna be the cashier in that situation. But I appreciate every opportunity that I get to come across people who have this kind of conversation.

[@annahsmith913]

Lol

[@catharineorellana3522]

WHAAAA???? How have I never heard of this genius?!!! NEWEST FAN!!!!

[@fractalspace1111]

What makes it even more humorous is this is the psychotic behavior that goes through peoples head until rationality kicks in. I would have a really hard time keeping my mouth shut too though if I am being honest.

[@fractalspace1111]

lol, yeah it annoys me when people think they can do that like wtf you are holding the line up. Also I like your profile picture that is a cool photo

[@DissociatedWomenIncorporated]

Try having genuinely psychotic alternate personalities 😂 Seriously, one of mine chose to name herself "Maleficent".

[@joe-ksterrr4421]

I won a small victory today at the DMV. Similar shananigans. Been waiting there for 2 hours for them to call my number G136, they were currently at G126, figured I had some time so I went to the bathroom. Came back and they had called my number 3 times! So I went over, G137 ticket was there so I politely waited and took a seat near by. Older lady goes over and starts standing behind them. I was a little upset cuz I had been waiting so long, and politely said, "excuse me mam I'm G136 I was just in the bathroom." She goes, "oh you don't have to wait in line for this one." And turned around. I sat back down. Stewing in my own head about it. The couple finished and began to walk away, her back was turned, so I got up, went to the desk and said " hey sorry u called my number 3 times I was in the restroom my apologies." And we started our business. In a pause moment I looked at the old lady and gave the old lady a look that pretty much said, "That's why they give people numbers bitch." ......Victory!!! Bhaha. But then I saw her outside and apologized like a bitch because, I'm a polite bitch :(

[@angelinan6790]

@@joe-ksterrr4421 I enjoy your psychotically conflicting personalities Joe. I'm the same

[@intothewoods_dave]

Gary Gulman is hilarious and also a super nice guy. I saw him at the Kung Pow Jewish comedy show in San Francisco a couple years ago, he was performing with all other Jewish comics, Kathy Ladman and some others. And he was so nice he took selfie’s with us and he is just a great guy. Besides being super tall, super Jewish, and super cute and super funny.

[@Dermatillomaniac]

Such an underrated guy - always had good clean fun!

[@kennethfagan9738]

He is a great storyteller and hilarious 😂

[@dennesey]

I love great command of the english...in comedy. Swell done.

[@rickardo3950]

dennis stfu

[@JadedDemocracy]

Richard Gere: Time-traveler Comedian

[@ridingwithjon3048]

Gary Gulman is my best friend and we've never even met.

[@nathanm.8823]

No I'm your best friend Jon. We will be meeting very soon. 👀 I see you Jon.

[@ridingwithjon3048]

@@nathanm.8823 😬

[@samzCook]

Riding With Jon - I went to his nieces Bat Mitzvah

[@christopherviguilla2715]

@Dean Gulberry No, Yea

[@jobimzapico44]

“If what’s that important to me? Justice!” 😂

[@jessa.4529]

there are trader Joe's with 2 floors? that's my take away here

[@kristinareed6656]

3 ..in NYC we have 3 levels

[@xiomara5147]

I’ve never been inside a Trader Joe’s because they just got to Austin right before I left but we had several Whole Foods that were multilevel. Or some that had an underground parking garage.

[@jenniferh189]

wow!!!!

[@billt8504]

In San Francisco there is a 2 floor Trader Joes downtown.

[@hunchemlnarik]

72nd and Broadway!

[@Jgm-gm9wi]

Gary will not only split your sides with laughter, he school you in vocabulary. Well played, sir.

[@enc897]

Spot on! Been there, brother!

[@AndyCutright]

This guy is so smart. Always a great show.

[@lexikelly5148]

You are so talented. I’ve watched this countless times and am still laughing! We saw you in Houston in June, but have since moved to Bend, OR. Please come up to Bend and share your gift!

[@shirin8609]

I died at the lentil chips! Also, if this was anything like what actually happened, I appreciate him standing up for himself. So many people just let people like this get away absolute murder, and that's why there are so many crazy bitches on the loose!

[@TheFatAndTheFurious]

"and that's why there are so many crazy bitches on the loose!" 😂🤣

[@jcb3393]

"yeah, no..." - wow! The temerity indeed!

[@curiousj1287]

Love this man! Love his comedy!

[@okrajoe]

Ring the bell - I've been struck! And, search Gary's "Cookies" routine, one of Gary's most hilarious bit -- genius.

[@jcb3393]

agreed! The cookies, the alarm clock, and his observations about elementary school - all are comedy gold!

[@melindaallen3959]

This guy is great! Why aren't we hearing more from him?

[@curiousj1287]

so is that really a thing? ...leaving your cart while u continue to shop? that is all sorts o f’d up.

[@billpaoli9083]

It is a thing, even here in suburban Northern California. If they'r not back when it's their turn, I push the basket aside and start my check out.

[@soth1sol]

you gotta use the conveyor's space bar and put your things DOWN! anchor'd!

[@jimb2970]

I also live in suburban Northern California, and have never witnessed an infringement of this magnitude or sort.

[@snicole3610]

I would move the cart to a food asile and pretend I never saw it or the customer. You better wake up earlier than you have been to convince me that this is okay.

[@foxtears9428]

Here in nyc the Trader Joe’s are godless organic wastelands and you wait in line for 4 days

[@RT-fs3tt]

Fox Tears I go at 8am on a weekday and it’s not busy at all. It’s a desperate move but when you’re broke it does the trick

[@foxtears9428]

miso 616 I’ve only gone once when it was semi not busy and the guy who makes you go to the different cash registers even bugs me out idk lmao every other time I’ve gone though it’s been a living nightmare

[@HipHopSlam]

re "godless organic wastelands" hah hah - compared to CA they sure are;;;;; but not as bad as when the only one in NYC was the TJs on 14th Street. .....Although few weeks ago, for first time, I went into the one I believe the comedian is referring to (B'way @ 72nd) on a Sunday afternoon and the line was so ridiculously long and slow I just had to walk out

[@foxtears9428]

HipHopSlam i hadn’t been to the one uptown but omg, 14th street TJ’s is THE WORST

[@Somethinghumble]

Still cheaper than whole foods or any bodega. 💵

[@julierobinson5180]

So glad I live in Buffalo, “the city of good neighbors”!!

[@TheScottGillies]

"If what's that important to me?... Justice?" @4:03

[@Theman26642]

This guy is probably the most brilliant comic out there

[@nancyann1014]

Hilarious!!!! Perfect delivery!!!!❤

[@kittywalker2944]

Clever and amusing 💚💜

[@echo_lens]

I almost fell out of my chair Love Gary Gulman

[@tradingpoker1324]

"Flipped it" - that two word phrase and delivery was comedic genius. 😊

[@brooklynbrohat6647]

Justice.

[@sallymiller1359]

My first time seeing Gary, hilarious

[@noelsturrup3817]

yeah...no.

[@Sh3ewit]

no....yeah.

[@redpepper74]

Flipped it.

[@extramedium1]

Gary Gulman, that is a perfect bit, you genius!

[@mprice333]

Love Gary Gulman! I’m so upset his latest special with the long version of this was removed.

[@joshpalmer9458]

This dude is funny!!!! His stand up actually makes me laugh

[@carefulpilgrim]

Glad somebody brought this kind of activity out into the light…!

[@The_VANtastic_Pack]

This is sooo spot on! I could totally see this happening in my neck of the woods (bay area California) and yea I'd be this guy as well rofl. Remember kids: Out crazy the crazy! Words to live by. Lol

[@powerswish]

I had something similar happen at Starbucks. Some meathead in front of me left the store then came back and cursed at me for moving up to his spot in line.

[@scifikoala]

I work at a grocery store so I've seen this happen a few times and I wanna die every time. I'm used to the customers being nightmarish assholes to me, the service robot, but I never know what to do when they turn on one of the other customers

[@jcb3393]

@@scifikoala you stand up for the other customers, that's what you are supposed to do.

[@soth1sol]

I HAD TO GET MY WALLET!!! GOD!!! WHAT?!!! you remember everything before caffeinated?

[@spirals73]

@@jcb3393 If you want to get written up.

[@EJofLA]

Amusing and good for you!

[@Jansbury]

“You’ll get over it” - A great Kumail Nanjiani impression hah

[@michaeldixon97]

Grocery Manager here. I will literally pull baskets like that out of the line and move them to the side pretending like some random person moved it.

[@PerfectlyNormalBeast]

The cashier should implement a 10% cutting fee: 10% of your purchase price paid to each person you cut in front of

[@juliansanderson839]

Why? So people are more justified in leaving their cart in line while they shop?

[@PerfectlyNormalBeast]

I forgot about this Well, if you have a $100 purchase and have to give each person behind you $10, that's a pretty strong incentive At that point, I think I'd be looking for the line with the most abandoned carts in it Do my shopping one item at a time :)

[@heatherwhitehead3743]

The crazy card always works the best! Lol

[@nkwari]

i love how his every word is well pondered nay rendered

[@LisaTalcott]

Heyyy! Love this bit. Also love the grape/grapefruit. I have a very similar feeling about peppermint candy canes in cookies and ANYTHING else. In a cookie basket it gets to all the other holiday cookies and ruins them. Truly a tragedy.

[@thursdaybrothers7964]

Brilliant. Love Gary.

[@gj8683]

Lentl Chips -- that's classic

[@dragonfish888]

I’ve never heard of this guy before. Pretty funny. Thank you, algorithm.

[@teresaterry9085]

Oh I had a Trader Joe’s story in “Snotsdale “ Pheonix . I was close to punching the entitled B in front of me yelling at the cashier over her wait in line , only line open, and said he was riding the short bus. In my TEXAS no filter way, I said look, chick, we all waited, what makes you better? She sent me a nasty look and I said, oh look, the gold digger is having a bad day. Everyone laughed and she left her grocery and took off. 😂

[@hyltonla]

Hilarious! Made me laugh and that’s not easy. Thanks. 👍🏼

[@JillKnapp]

There is nothing better than a Gary Gulman “Nay.”

[@Mayabee321]

“This isn’t fair!!!” 😂

[@robertgaron9057]

Who is this guy? Great perspective on a moment so many of us can identify with. The phrases we’ve heard, and right down to the iPhones going from pic to vid. So funny 😂

[@ethanf5441]

This level of pettiness is what I aspire to be 😂😂😂

[@ashleycnossen3157]

This got me so worked up

[@JeremyBarbell]

“ crushing my lentil chips, rendering them useless. Because they’re for dipping, not for topping.” That is top tier humor right there.

[@MichelleRenee47z]

*they're for dipping

[@JeremyBarbell]

@@MichelleRenee47z changed! I hate autocorrect so much

[@MichelleRenee47z]

@@JeremyBarbell I mean, "therefore" was kinda funny! I ate a snickers and now I'm not policing grammar anymore. I am going to watch more Gary Gulman comedy and eat more chocolate to improve my mood. Have a lovely day!

[@JeremyBarbell]

@@MichelleRenee47z haha don’t worry, bad grammar bugs me too. You have a great day as well!

[@ShirleyTSaint]

0:35-0:58. Well, this be me at USQ Trader Joes multitasking, grabbing the almond milk and frozen stuffed rellenos- ...deal with it. LOL!

[@julianab.734]

Trader Joe’s shoppers in CA would never! I genuinely think a riot might actually break out if ppl tried to do that! Two very different types of reactions very much East vs West coast and true to there regions equally extra in there own unique ways! Lol 😂

[@1stGeorgiaGirl]

East Coast: Strung out on Coffee. West Coast: Strung out on Pot.

[@victoriasinatra]

Lololol!!!!! So true! Californians are fabulous. Even in traffic as bad as it gets. Someone let's you in. On east coast you must put your nose in front of them to get them to let you in....lol. best laugh all day! 💜💙💚💛🧡❤ .

[@The_VANtastic_Pack]

Where in cali do you guys live? Cuz it's sooo not like it here where I'm at. It's more exactly like he described his whole skit on except it was the bay area.

[@b.k.3364]

@@The_VANtastic_Pack yes, east coasters have moved en masse to the bay area drastically changing the culture.

[@ShubhamGupta-li3bk]

That's gold, Gary! Gold!

[@kristinhabing878]

You are spectacular! My favorite! You should also be an actor

[@carynmartin6053]

Great stand up story!

[@mukesh_bombay]

this bit will never leave me

[@SkaegSkater]

That pic to vid line is so good.

[@drmsducomtru]

I loved this so much!!!😂😂😂😂😂

[@mgil8906]

Cute Comedian!! And I thought I was the only one having trouble with TJ customers... Not my imagination!! Yes, Justice and Common Courtesy DO matter! Thanks for bringing laughter to it though!

[@callenstewart]

My hero.

[@karlaoakleyanderson]

Gotta love this guy!

[@clootscalhoun9481]

Best comedian. He’s genius.

[@MentholKratom]

hahaha i love this guy. never even heard of him

[@pollypockets508]

He was on last comic standing. Fantastic

[@VisaliaMuscle]

'68 Mexican Olympics fists raised.. Lol

[@olfoogy]

that was a brilliant set!

[@justinphilips3991]

Gary is one of the greatest!!

[@rashaski]

I LOVE GARY GULMAN

[@mariancarol8332]

I'm so glad I shop at the Trader Joe's in Prescott, Arizona.