Men: How to Get Through Divorce Emotionally (Based on the Emotions of a Man Going through Divorce)

Today we’re talking about how to get through divorce emotionally, for men in particular. The emotions of a man going through divorce differ from those of women in a few key ways that can make it harder for men to move on. In this video I’ll explain those differences and give you a roadmap for getting through divorce emotionally as a man.
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Your divorce can either be the nail in your coffin, or it can be the catalyst you use to finally confront and heal your emotional wounds so they don't kneecap your relationships.
You can become the best version of yourself and take control of your future. And now you can get access to the same step by step, proven system that has already helped hundreds of men do just that, inside the Better Beyond Divorce App.
GET ACCESS TO THE BETTER BEYOND DIVORCE APP NOW:
► resources.rachaelsloancoachin...
Additional Resources
Free Masterclass: HOW TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AFTER DIVORCE
► resources.rachaelsloancoachin...
Guide: Emotional Stages of Divorce for Men & How to Heal within Each Stage
► resources.rachaelsloancoachin...
Dating After Divorce Checklist: Are you ready to date after your divorce?
► resources.rachaelsloancoachin...
Work with Me
Coaching Programs ➭ www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/...
Learn more ➭ rachaelsloancoaching.com
Shoot me an email ➭ [e-mail]
Helpful Books for Divorced Men (affiliate links)
► The Full Body Presence - Gives gentle, accessible exercises for somatic processing of emotional pain and trauma amzn.to/3umFPkj
► The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time amzn.to/3F326IS
► Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself - Concrete tools and exercises for rewiring the brain and reimagining your sense of self and purpose amzn.to/3BaDyg9
► Legendary - Inspiration and a powerful perspective for stepping into your potential amzn.to/3H6ofsF
► The Myth Of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture - Brilliant, in every way. This is an amazing resource for understanding yourself and your ex wife and finding the clarity or compassion you need to forgive. amzn.to/3UxdsuC
► Lost Connections: Why You're Depressed and How to Find Help - Intense and well researched. I would recommend this book when you are past the early stages of divorce and have a stable support system in place. amzn.to/3VNMOi7
I’m Rachael Sloan, Master NLP Practitioner, certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce. I've helped hundreds of men move past the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and after a divorce, to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. I hope to help you do the same.
DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment.
How to get through divorce emotionally, as a man:
Part 1: Overview of the Emotions of a Man Going through Divorce
- Shock
- Betrayal
- Grief
- Anger
- Isolation (stronger than loneliness)
- Confusion
We all know that women file more often than men, which sets them up to be further along in the process of grieving and moving on. But there is more to it than that.
The blame game from your ex wife, societal messaging and regret itself all make it harder to get through divorce if you're a man.
All of those influences add up to a loss of identity. This is why the emotions of a man going through divorce can get in the way of him healing and moving on. Because those emotions are about more than the feelings themselves, they are symptoms of an underlying loss of identity.
Understanding how to deal with negative emotions is key for recovering from divorce. Once you can successfully regulate and manage guilt, grief, anger, loss and all the rest, you create space to work on the underlying problem: the loss of identity and the self doubt that comes along with it.
These steps apply to all the emotions of divorce, grief to anger to fear to loneliness. You can use them for getting over divorce guilt or shame.
When we're discussing how to deal with divorce as a man, we're talking about working in two main areas. The first step to getting through divorce is to quiet and manage your emotions. That creates the mental and emotional space to work on the underlying self doubt, which is really about getting over divorce guilt and self-blame.

[@arturosalinas7657]

It's been 4.5 months. The first 3 months were filled with adrenaline and denial. After those 3 months, it's been really hard because I decided to go thru this organically. It's been heartbreaking and dealing with this new reality. It's been hard to talk about it with anyone. But I understand it's a process and push thru it.

[@Darknfrog]

It seems like I have to do all this overwhelming work and self growth, but she doesn't have to do anything except move in with her boyfriend and just keep moving on. Why isn't she alone, empty, and hopeless for six years with no direction and no family or friends? Everyone went with her. On the bright side I don't have to hear anyone give me platitudes and patronize me.

[@user-gl3vr5vm9r]

I know how you feel I have been going through the same situation. I feel like both my friends and family move on with her and I’m left alone

[@timothydavid789]

I’m going through a divorce that I don’t want. She filed and Weber been married for 27 years, together for 32. Since I was 21. We have a 18 year old daughter and we’ve struggled through the years with arguing (verbal only). I’ve been in therapy for 7 years to be a better person. For the last decade she said she’s been thinking about divorcing me. But, she never expressed her issues so we never got help as a couple. I was injured on the job in 2012. But, I was refused disability. She got a degree as a nurse in her 40’s and told me to be a stay at home dad. Then I was a caregiver for my dying mom(last of my family) for three years. Jump to present day. I work a part time job, the kid left for college one week later she filed. I’m in a bad space.

[@michaelmitchell6185]

Get help bro...counciling , stay close to people

[@dillonlaw8898]

25 years of marriage, I adopted her 3 boys when they were 2-4-6 she walked out of our marriage! She said a couple months prior that she felt like she was going through menopause!! I believe I’ve been suffering from depression for awhile which is the reason she left! This Friday we go and sign divorce papers!! My heart is broken! But I’m giving her what she feels she needs and wants right now!!

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Hi Dillon, I'm so sorry. I can hear how painful and shocking this is! How are you doing after the signing? If I can support you as you move through this, I would love to do so. I offer a coaching program where I help my clients process and regulate their emotions (which may help you with the original cause of your depression), heal their relationship with themselves and make sense of what happened in the divorce. I can tell that you are likely not ready to fully accept the divorce right now, and that's okay. Doing this work on yourself and getting clear on the issues in your marriage will set you up equally well to heal and move forward or seek a reconciliation. If you'd like to talk, you can schedule a consultation call with me. On the call you can help me understand your situation and your goals, and if I think I can help I'll explain how and you can decide if it's a good fit for you or not. You can access my calendar to book a call here: calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy

[@martinjones8544]

hi, where are you at now? I hope a better place. its sound slike your a good man, not somthing women alwats want. Im left very confussed and stuck after four years. but it spiked my whole mental health which was already very poor not its hell........ I really hope you are in that better place.

[@dillonlaw8898]

Thank you for the kind words!! I’ve moved on the best I know how! It’s getting easier everyday and doesn’t consume my every thought! My boys are there for me 100% which is a blessing to me! Thank you Dr. Sloan!!! I watched all of your videos and that pulled me through!! Hang in there friend it does get better with time and self care!!👍🏼👍🏼💪🏼💪🏼

[@mkf628]

The thing about us men is that we believe that 'feelings' and 'emotions' are a weakness. We are so used to disregarding them for most of our lives, that when they become overwhelmingly intense we feel lost and we feel even worse.. we feel 'beaten' and like failures bc of these emotions. I'm here to tell all men out there that we are human. It's ok to have emotions and to feel them. It's perfectly ok to cry. To release the emotions. It cleanses the soul and it HELPS. you are NOT weak because you feel 'defeated' or like a 'failure'. It means that you care. To all my brothers I send you love and strength. Courage includes feeling your 'feelings' and not considering yourself a loser for doing so. In fact it's the opposite. It's not about wallowing or feeling sorry for yourself. It's about acknowledging your humanity in this complex isolating world we live in. It's ok to feel sad and lonely and to feel like you've 'lost' or 'failed'. To live is to strive and fail. So sometimes failure is inevitable. You are important and you are valuable even when it seems like you are anything but. I get this. And so I wish you well on your journey, as painful, heart wrenching and lonely as it may seem. You are not alone. Your fellow brother, who has been through the hellfire.

[@christophercobbett5750]

You are so right....Loss of identity...I lost my identity as a in the home Dad...But I'm still a Dad....I might have made some mistakes, but I also understand my mistakes were based in good intentions....I also understand that my caretaker tendencies have led to my resenting of my ex wife.....but my story about friends are different...None of her words would discredit me with my friends, both male and female....Im so grateful for that, and grateful for your videos

[@ookiee1]

It’s draining having to do this almost daily for a period of time.

[@sidaytona]

She is so spot on. I couldn't have explained my own experiences as well as she just did. The loss of identity phase is tough too, I'm trying to figure out who I am again at this point and where to move on to next. Thank you for sharing your expertise, Rachael.

[@StephenJones_901]

My wife and I have been separated since March, and it's still VERY painful for me three months later. She has moved back to her home state of Maine, while I'm here in North Carolina. I had hopes of reconciling with her, but I don't think it's going to happen. Signing those divorce papers is going to be the hardest thing that I've ever done.

[@767dag]

soo , find out again what i like to do and be ME again , just a lot older . i get to explore Basically inner child values my core believes. be nice to me , i’ve been through hell and am still sober

[@historychannel2317]

One day at a time, my friend. I'm in 12 step recovery since 2009

[@mkf628]

good stuff brother

[@ma8839]

Perfect message as always! I definitely need to pay more attention to taking smaller chunks, but I’m working on it!

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Thanks for watching Micah! Taking smaller chunks is really the secret - as a whole it's just too much. It's really the key to to any personal growth work. Moment by moment, feeling by feeling it all becomes manageable.

[@finallyFreeee]

Thanks for this video and the help you provide

[@rhwag7437]

1:32 Everyone has had a episode of really crying hard! Those times when you were just sobbing uncontrollably until you were exhausted. Interesting part, is you always feel better afterwards, you might even laugh at the whole situation. Since my divorce I have had 2 or 3 of these weeping episodes. In the video she says "what does the emotion make you want to do?". I have this heavy sense of dysphoria and I realized "thats it!" It makes me what to have a good, long crying spell and get it all out, and then feel better afterwards. Trouble is you can't just make it happen at will.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

I'm glad that this video was helpful in figuring out what your emotions are telling you. You're right, you can't just trigger that good cry at will... but there are some other ways to help those emotions move through your body so you can feel better. If you'd like to explore those strategies, check out my free Masterclass, How to Take Back Control of Your Life After Divorce. I think it will give you some more insight on how to keep those painful emotions moving so you can get past the dysphoria and into the release. You'll find the info for the masterclass here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/optin1671910386839

[@mkf628]

spot on it just builds up it'd be nice to be able to just spew it all out at once

[@jimigreenwood950]

I had no idea I could cry that hard. I had a number of times just randomly I broke down. Took about a month before I could breathe. I’m from that you never cry upbringing BS.

[@Thepassionproject.]

Videos are great. Keep growing the channel. You’re helping 💙

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Thank you Jarred. I really appreciate that. Thanks for watching.

[@ookiee1]

It’s draining to do this almost on a daily basis for a period of time

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Hi Ron, I hear you. It can certainly feel that way. You can actually really simplify this. In fact, if you'd like, I can share a recording with you that guides you through a 90 second version of this exercise. Shoot me an email at [e-mail] and I'll send you the recording. As draining as it can feel to work with your emotions directly, it actually takes far less energy overall than constantly buffering, distracting or numbing to get away from those feelings. At first it will feel intense, but if you stick with it for 7-10 days, you're brain will start to relate to your emotions differently, with less fear, and it will begin to feel easier. The other piece to keep in mind is that this emotional work creates space for you to work on the underlying thoughts, beliefs and perspectives that are generating those feelings in the first place. When you can work with those directly you can begin to change many of the emotions themselves, which makes the day to day a lot easier to handle.

[@DVul]

Separations with children are tough, I think my ex of 16 yrs was having a middle age crisis and her own identity crisis which triggered the divorce, it's hard for men because 1. They are reacting to the situation so dealing with shock, hurt and grief as it's only those who men let into their inner circle that can hurt them the most. The wives have already dealt with thus and are just dealing out the formality to guys who are often caught on the back foot 2. Their future they built dies 3. They do not have the same support network as women regarding emotions 4. Family law sucks and is basically feminist in application, and 110% bias against men so there are very real risks of being kicked out of your own home (false dv claims) which can lead to losing access to your children, and to top it off the higher earner can lose at least 50% of everything they worked on for years gets taken away while you are at your most vulnerable . The worst part being you can also have to pay alimony, spousal support, child support, occupancy rent to your ex possibly for 10 to 20 years when you'll most likely be in your late 50's so rebuilding what you lost is harder It's not just the separation losses it's the claims on future income that also prevent rebuilding with your full capabilities Ultimately it's no wonder that divorced male suicide rates are 10x higher than women's because they have to deal with a tonne a once under pressure while in their worst state mentally and emotionally...

[@jdnrotterdam2150]

I was in my divorce since last easter weekend 2023. In august 2023 the divorce was officially and done. This January 2024 i bought my ex wife out from the house..( she moved to a apartment I stayed in the house) everything is payed. And we have our daughter 50/50 one week she’s with me one week at my ex. It was a hard emotional painful year, But when everything is done. You’re free and start to build a new life. In less than a year! The pain and suffering will be less and less. I was in pain. I still feel it sometimes. But it will be better. Nobody tells me what to do anymore. In the beginning when you’re in it … yes than the world is dark! But later you see some positive parts of it

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

I'm so glad to hear that you've found your way out and through to the to other side of your divorce. Thank you so much for sharing some of your story here!

[@jdnrotterdam2150]

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach No problem. The relationship with my ex and communication about our daughter is very bad at the moment. My ex wife has Borderline. So her mood can change every day. And she’s very impulsive. You never know what to expect. So it’s very difficult to set rules about eho is doing what and when

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

@@jdnrotterdam2150 that is really difficult. Mental health challenges on either side can make divorce and coparenting infinitely more complicated. Are you feeling like you can cope with it well? Do you have a good support system on your side?

[@jdnrotterdam2150]

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Well we made the deal that one week i have my daughter all week and the other week my daughter is at my ex . Because of i have s bigger income i have to pay my ex child support and she have all the benefits from other support income next to her salary. This was based on one week my daughter at her house and one week at my house. So 50/50. But in reality my daughter is almost never at my ex. Because my ex said she have no time. So i pay the ex partner support.. child support. And that’s fair if my daughter is also at my ex to support them financially.. but my daughter is almost always with me! So i pay literally for nothing. .. luckily i have my parents that helps me so that i can work.

[@AkshayShettyTonseco]

Gosh !!!!! ... This is so helpful !!! ... You have actually peeled off layers like one would of an onion. The feelings of shame , self doubt and and just not be able to counter the narrative that is presented to the world which in time one starts to believe .. damn .. that's the tough one. Thank you for the video.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

I'm so glad you found this video helpful! It's that narrative that so many of my clients and the people I talk to struggle with - when you hear it over and over and over again... it's really difficult not to internalize that! In addition to learning to regulate your emotions, there are also some step by step ways to recondition your own thoughts, so that you can shift your mental focus away from that narrative and take back control of your own self image and view of what's possible in the future. If you'd like to learn more about that process and what it takes to get there, I'd be happy to chat with you. You can schedule a free consultation with me here: calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy Thanks so much for watching! I'm thrilled you're enjoying the channel and finding it helpful.

[@ivanfontaine8855]

Thanks for talking about this topic.Without help that is acsessable like this it is so much harder atleast for men to hear points of veiw and solutions. Most men dont have besttise to share and listen.

[@clarencemadjoe3599]

You are spot on. Shock is the worst. Logically, you know what is going on emotionally it is difficult to believe that your beloved has done _ this or that.. even if you are the one who made a the final call, like a judge in a courtroom...Bob Ivor - "skinny love" hits the nail on the head

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Thanks for watching and commenting, Clarence. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I hope this video was helpful in one way or another.

[@jimigreenwood950]

Came home to find my wife just gone after 27 years. It has been hard, Rachael I can’t thank you enough. You have given me hope. For the last week I listen to you in the morning and at night and journal. I’m not a person used to journal work but taking notes is helping me focus. I would add as I embrace my emotions I make sure I keep saying to myself “I” stopping to breath and the sayings to myself how do I feel. It’s been hard to stay in the I and understand the emotions. I’m trying and will keep trying. I believe there is a better future for me.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

It warmed my heart to read this comment. Thank you for sharing a little bit of your experience here. Stick with this... it's hard. It may be the single hardest thing you've ever done. You can do it. You're already doing it. Being present with the pain and supporting your nervous system like you have been will start to ease the intensity. For most of us doing this is a totally new experience and it can be confronting at first. I hope you'll stick with it, and I also hope that you'll lean into some support as well. If you have a therapist or counselor you're working with, ask them to go into the emotions with you (human nervous systems co regulate really well, so this will feel a little easier). If you'd like to go deeper into the exercises you are also welcome to join me in the new Better Beyond Divorce App. I've taken all the tools and understanding I've gained from working with my clients and put it into an easy to use App. There is a free versions with lots of resources, as well as a few options for more direct support and coaching, if you decide you'd like that. You can get started here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/bbd-free-app

[@jimigreenwood950]

Thank you, so much.

[@damonvineyard378]

now it is a little over month 1 since she asked for the divorce. i dont want to cry anymore, i want the bad thoughts to stop. im am ok somedays and others are just as bad as the first. if im having sub-conscious thoughts how do i alleviate them. i have, since day 1, been telling myself that i will be ok. it only gets me so far sometimes. i dont want her back i just want to move on, find myself and be happy. i know i wasnt the best husband, weve both made our share of mistakes. there is not animosity from either end and were both amicable about the situation. ive watched this video 3 or 4 times now. any additional advice?

[@KaiserDragonTV]

Mine after 15 years left and gave up because she could not supply me with the physical and emotional love I needed. She managed to secure a plan and support channels to relocate to florida in a rich community Universally better than i could every supply for my kids better schools and programs ... her a job and reason to work vs being in a cage of freedom with me.. and I now have the freedom to go find someone who matches me and loves me.. but I am sitting here after a week of processing going ... this is the best outcome but it takes time to get over all this and im feeling emotions for the first time in 15 years as a soldier and years of war I turned off emotions... everything was logical why and why not... and now I am feeling waves of emotion I never felt before.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

As a soldier in war you have to turn off emotions to survive... yet when they turn back on you may find that you not only feel the pain from the end of this relationship but also the pain from all of the things you've seen, done and experienced when your emotions were turned off. Do you have some support now? A therapist or coach (honestly I recommend both for most people as they meet different needs in a complimentary way) can make this process much easier. While I would encourage you to do some 1:1 work with a therapist, coaching to develop the skill of limbic awareness (tuning into the body to work directly with emotions and the thoughts that accompany them) can be very useful as well. This page has a video that explains limbic awareness and how I work with clients to move through waves of emotion: rcsloan87.clickfunnels.com/application-page1661304835892 It will also help you figure out if working with me would be a good fit to help support you. Either way, please do look for some help in processing these feelings. There is no human on earth who can move through powerful emotions as well alone as they can with another person's support. The need for connection in times of emotional pain is pretty hardwired into our nervous systems.

[@KaiserDragonTV]

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach I seemed to have worked thru it over a week mostly .. because in every way its better for everyone involved there is no recovery for us I dont trust her shes cheated and lied for decade n half.. But everyones gonna get better lifes in the end.. and now I have functioning emotions again... that kinda sucks.. but at the same time its nice. restarted them 15 years to late..

[@KaiserDragonTV]

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach I was lucky for her to be supportive enough thru the process been about 7 days and i feel understanding and 100% supportive of the choice to go our own ways. But at night when im alone thinking about the distance and seperation the feeling do kick up abit.. cant im making good progress.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

@@KaiserDragonTV I'm glad to hear that you're doing so well. It can be a rocky road to start dealing with emotions again, but it sounds like you're finding your way through that. Having that closure and deciding to move forward can be freeing, even though it is hard and sad. I wish you the very best as you move into the next steps. If I can be of service in any way to support that journey, please don't hesitate to reach out.

[@KaiserDragonTV]

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach thank u years of war and stuff no one has seen has taught me to master my self and my emotions this time I’m doing it without turning them off again..

[@COGICSticks]

This was very helpful!

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

I'm so glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching.

[@mattlofty5884]

Extreme EXTREME ANXIETY

[@arthurb8631]

Thank you

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

You're welcome. Thank you for being here.

[@jmcrypto5694]

4 months into this my mind is going crazy

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Which can drive you crazy! If you're finding these videos helpful, you might enjoy my free masterclass. It goes into more detail on how to handle overwhelming thoughts and emotions as you go through divorce. You can find it here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register

[@nchikingguy1228]

I made the decision to leave. Been separated for over a year. She filed for divorce, It was finalized today. It just feels sad. I have moved on, but it's the memories of when things were good that weigh on me

[@shestaygrindin7678]

How are you feeling now?

[@brianost2703]

I wanted to ask you about what your thoughts are on this Entrepreneurs in Cars, KZbin channel? My friends say this guy is spot on? All my divorced/single friends watch this guy.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Interesting question. I've seen a few of his videos but I don't know his philosophy inside and out. I can say that I really respect his advice to show up and do the work - he's 100% right about that. No amount of watching videos will change anything, you have to do the internal work to break free from old patterns, rebalance your nervous system and make your life what you want it to be. I do get the impression that he may be encouraging the 'shove it down' approach to dealing with emotions. There are reasons people get stuck, and a lot of it has to do with nervous system activation and past trauma. If you can't 'just do it' like he recommends, it can be helpful to know that there are concrete things you can do to rebalance your nervous system, overcome depression and anxiety so you CAN do the work. I think there is a lot of great stuff in his messaging, I'd just offer anyone who is ashamed of not being at 'that level' yet consider the very real impacts of trauma and nervous system activation. Also, in his channel video he claims that it's really hard to be unhappy when you've got your finances in order and have a sweet car and can pick up women... but I've not seen that to be true. I've coached plenty of rich, charming men who were deeply dissatisfied with their lives because they lacked authentic emotional connections with other people or didn't know how to be alone with themselves and feel safe and happy. Those are issues of emotional regulation and self awareness, not financial success or learning to be charismatic. So... I like some of his stuff and I'm sure it helps a lot of men. But I don't buy into the story that men don't have deeper emotional needs.

[@ashleygregory3162]

ON September 3rd 2013 I know that was a very long time ago since it's now 2023 but we were just married 5 years we was in love until she told me she had been cheating on me and I ask her why she was cheating on me she said I was a very good man to have as a husband but she told me she was ending our marriage and after she divorced me I went into a deep depression and my heart was breaking I still thill have her on my mind all the time and I my heart starts breaking again.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're still struggling with this. There are some things we can do to help you make peace with it. If you'd like more support and guidance to do so, you can get started with my Better Beyond Divorce app. It's free to start, and there are options for more support if you'd like. I think it could really help you finally move forwards. You can find it here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/bbd-free-app

[@Cowkill]

It's even worse whan you can't rationalize it. We are getting divorced after 13 years of relationship and 7 years of mariage. She blames herself, she says it's her fault and that I've been the perfect husband. But she says she doesn't love me anymore. It's even worse because I don't know what I could have done better.

[@RosasResources]

I been with my husband for 25 yr i don't think he care because he money branch to his side chick at lease he has a soft landing and dont have to feel anything.

[@jlguitar7345]

Interesting how you stated that divorce is a man’s fault.that’s says allot

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

I'm sorry to hear that is the message you took away from this video. Unfortunately many people believe divorce is about one side or the other, and if I don't attack or place blame on women then I'm saying men are to blame. I don't think either is the case. Divorce is the end result of a negative cycle that develops between two people in a relationship who don't know how to get their needs met or meet the needs of their partner.

[@brianost2703]

If she says divorce, try and get it done as quick as possible. Then, travel, there's so many cool places on Earth you can't go when you're stuck with a woman. Also, remember 60% of marriages end in divorce, 80% of college educated women file for divorce. Women start planning their divorce on their wedding day. Just remember that if you're a guy feeling bad like you "failed" at marriage, join the club.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Anywhere in particular you'd recommend? What are your favorite travel spots?

[@brianost2703]

I'm fortunate to travel for work, but places that are pretty cool are Iceland, Isle of Man(for the Isle of Man TT motorcycle race). Also, locally in the US would be do a trip on the Hatfield McCoy trail systems where you can ride any type of four wheelers for miles.@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

[@christophercobbett5750]

You are so right....Loss of identity...I lost my identity as a in the home Dad...But I'm still a Dad....I might have made some mistakes, but I also understand my mistakes were based in good intentions....I also understand that my caretaker tendencies have led to my resenting of my ex wife.....but my story about friends are different...None of her words would discredit me with my friends, both male and female....Im so grateful for that, and grateful for your videos

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Thank you for watching, Christopher. I'm sorry that you've gone through such a painful time with your divorce. It sounds like you are doing some difficult and rewarding work for yourself, and I'm so glad that you have a strong support network of friends who love you and can reflect your deeper self back to you.