How toxic people mourn the end of a relationship | The Narcissists' Code Ep 869

[@Annedowntherabbithole]

They're never happy with who they're with

[@MentalHealness]

💯💯

[@shucingjhuang2287]

Being single after breaking up is victory. It means we are decent people who work on ourselves. We don't use other to fill in our void or wound.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽

[@Hestia233]

💯

[@tati0201]

Yes so true. I just left my narc soon to be ex husband and we haven't even started the proceedings for the divorce and he already has new supply.

[@annafisher9656]

Very positive and yes this is 100% correct.

[@Blessed591]

I have been alone for 9 months and have never felt better !! It's a journey to self discovery. So empowering. I don't feel the need to be with anyone .

[@KittyCalhoun917]

When a Narcissist gives someone else everything you wanted it is to psychologically toy with you.

[@MentalHealness]

🎯🎯

[@carolnahigian9518]

Yes! Dear Mr and Mrs Lee| you ROCK

[@RansomeDavis]

They dont mourn you , they already have been seeing someone else at the same time as seeing you, they often have more than one person on the go at the same time. you are nothing to them, regardless of what they may say they have no emotional attachment to you AT ALL.

[@candacemccoy681]

They do if you were grade A. Now if you’re secondary or third supply they don’t mourn you they just replace you. It’s hard to replace grade A because a lot of people are selfish of course they don’t love anyone but they love the supply Grade A gives them so they do mourn…

[@latonyakelson9576]

I walked away with no warning. Didn’t answer the hoovering. I’ve been narc free for 5 years now. Thank You Jesus! 🙌🙌🙌

[@nolanat504]

same here, it's been over 2 years and I think I'm happier and mentally healthy than ever other than a few pounds gained since now I can enjoy food 😁

[@lynetteewell2410]

Yessss Me too!

[@mrbriankeith111]

I did it 3 months ago. I didn't even block. I just don't give a damn when he texts and emails. He had 6 chances each time with the same results. I'm fine and I'm done.

[@Lillian-z7c]

TGBTG ❤😊

[@fnn9550]

Praise God 🙏🏻✝️

[@Redeemed2000]

Just so everyone can have an example six months after I divorced my husband of NINETEEN years he gave the new supply all of the things I asked for: 1. A romantic proposal. 2. A wedding 3. A trip to Asia. As the reports poured in from the flying monkeys I kept living my life because I knew my life was real.

[@dannaification3767]

“Because I knew my life was real” uGHHH YESS!!! That part!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@sweetpea1847]

Mines too of 18yrs. And blasted it all in Facebook. Speaks to her gentle and loving. ALL the things you asked for they get. Oh well. I have to keep telling myself, "rejection is GOD'S protection!" Update: Since they are blasting their business ALL over social media. He just gave her a damn parade for a meme about women fixing their man's plate. When I cooked your breakfast, lunch and dinner. You went to bed and woke up with your bag packed for work. Did it plenty of times after discharged from the hospital, hit by a school bus and straight out of surgery. But yet she gets national credit. I did not respond!!! HELL he doesn't even know I know he's engaged. All while still trying to pursue me sexually.

[@havalonsjourney]

Yep they gonna get tired and stop. mine buy the car for himself I always wanted after I leave his butt. And I am loving my life happy 😊

[@realliving7340]

I heart that!!!!❤

[@privatename40]

@@sweetpea1847 Leaving a Narcissist isn’t about watching to observe the good, bad and ugly. It is about saving yourself, discovering who you really are, finding your own happiness. Stop giving that man access to you. Go no contact and then go heal!

[@tiffanyhitson4802]

I could never have imagined how demented and evil someone could be

[@PeaceDayCortez]

I’m in the middle of that realization right now. It’s unimaginable how vile someone you thought you knew can truly be.

[@Darion567]

We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers

[@jacquelinebeltran8186]

@@PeaceDayCortez Im literally going through the same. You’re not alone. We deserve healing ❤️‍🩹

[@lizzieschuch2800]

Same but it's worse when ppl go after kids. Unfathomably evil..

[@lizzieschuch2800]

Amen!

[@hthreatt11]

My ex tried smear campaigning and flying monkeys after I secretly recorded his behavior and abuse. I ended it and he started Stalking, having people show up at my house, calling from different numbers, having his mother call to tell me he is changing and going to church, calling my dad crying and asking for forgiveness until my dad had to block him.😂 I ended up getting a protective order, his mom truly believes that i should have stuck by him because "i taught him to love and he just didn't know how to display it in a healthy relationship ". Nah sis you are an enabler😂

[@evilzinabyssranger5695]

i kinda acted like a enabler to a girl i dated who possibly was a covert narcisist or very close to that. Yep, i regret thar. I thought sshe was an dismissive avoidant and as a friend, after i gave up the passion because of erratic behavior and silence treatments at weekends. She was like "im deep anxious"..my hair is falling, i have nightmares... Once she told that had suicidal thoughts but always mixing it with distance or slient treatments. I really used to like her PERSON and would be friends even knowing she was into other person but since she did all that crap, ones must be VERY FUCKED UP to try to get attention and validation by doing this. And after we had a bad friendship break up i saw he in a park event with all painted and beautifull hair with someone. So she was kind of exagerating so she could manipulate me. Sick.

[@SherryG370]

You go girl!!! I eliminated all his flying monkeys b4 I seriously ended it. He stalked me, multiple texts a day. Saying he loves me. Then he hates me etc. I dealt with that. Now he has no resources to know what im up to.

[@lorireed8046]

My ex MIL contacted my oldest sister (guess she thought she was my Mom?) And said to her "We have got to get these "kids" back together. LOL Same lady that hated me, lied about me and put me down for 28 years!

[@s13283]

I have TONS of recordings of my ex. This reminds me..I need to throw that shit out, lol…

[@lorireed8046]

@@s13283 What? I hope that's a joke.

[@AlexanderTarot]

“Narcissistic Roaches scatter, when the shame lightbulb comes on”…..sheeeeesh, this is the one!💯💯💯✅

[@MentalHealness]

🙏

[@ladyvirgo013]

😂😂😂

[@dreamyclouds5583]

He had me dying 😂

[@AlexanderTarot]

@@dreamyclouds5583 took me OUT, lol it’s the accuracy for me😩💯

[@AlexanderTarot]

@@MentalHealness 💯😩

[@passion8princess261]

Shame = Being accountable for their bad behavior, and they won't take responsibility. They will get quick to anger and turn the tables on you.

[@MentalHealness]

‼️‼️😫

[@user-of7ze5rp1k]

They always have a new relationship lined up that's why I left the streets going to have her

[@annafisher9656]

They can’t even be honest and tell the truth with their own family. It’s really sad

[@ThePlanckEpoch]

A narcissist does not really mourn, but they feel a PROFOUND emotional wounding when the control they had is ripped from them, which is akin to their make-believe world falling apart. Them losing a real part of themselves. So they indeed try to move on quickly, not only to establish a new controlled relationship from which they can fill their once again exposed gaping void, but to also re-establish control over the person who they perceive as having done them wrong, to control the narrative they need to tell themselves & their new social circle. They want to twist the knife oh so badly, they want to absolutely grind the person who dared to challenge them & their "kingdom" into dust, strictly to feel in control again. By any & all means necessary, morals be damned. And, to top it all off, they will suddenly be a completely different person, one you do not even recognize anymore. A thinly veiled attempt to get back at you. Don't give them the satisfaction. Do not observe what they do, do not stay in contact, do not watch their social media, etc. Cut off all emotional bindings to them, all ties. That's how you'll truly be free. How you break their power over you.

[@2888HA0264]

Best comment!!!💯💯🎯🎯

[@JeepWrangler2024]

💯

[@kamed.]

BEST explanation ever ! Awesome JOB!

[@chocolatedoll69]

so true, his sister & i are still fb friends and she makes sure she posts everything about him & his new wife (victim), she had been deleted!! ❌

[@ThingsILike12]

That switch to an unrecognizable persona is the clue that they are a true narcissist. The shame the ex must feel, always taking shortcuts and shunning accountability. Thankfully, he is no longer my problem.

[@Exjdub2023]

Just got out of a relationship with a textbook narcissist, watching this confirmed what I thought. I was that "new" girl...I did see the red flags pretty quick but chose to ignore, cause damn he seemed so perfect😭😔 lesson learned. Love your channel btw, thank you for your hard work to help both sides ❤ keep it up

[@lizzieschuch2800]

Pls share how you knew!

[@ieva4987]

The new supply is like a rebound. These things overlap.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@sanadabbas]

Thank you for ALWAYS reminding us that this is NOT a sign to go back to toxic relationships and thank you for your honesty! ❤ you’re the best!

[@katelynrushe9025]

It sounds like a lot of narcissists who try to “end” the person who left them resort to that because they have an easier time accepting that person as dead than as living happily without them.

[@MentalHealness]

😩

[@tinamarie3024]

This happened to me. He devalued , then ghosted me, occasionally making contact to destabilize me more. Then he found a new target and the smear campaign started and she was his perfect flying monkey. He actually rescripted his new life by taking her to all the places I took him. He also propsed quickly just like he did me. Within a few months he flew her to my country and completely repeated our relationship. She even looked like me.. its was brutal. Thank you for you honesty and clarification.

[@MentalHealness]

you got it

[@tranquility9325]

Block him so he can't resurface

[@barkingpawz]

Wow

[@Cynthia-ul4uh]

Yes it’s true. My ex married a woman that looks like me. Scary

[@karenpangiadiaz3941]

Yess. His new/now old supply when we were in our twenties people would think we were sisters , hair, color eyes , weight height . Body shape is definitely different now. Ohh yea. Light bulb he ran

[@XIXLXXXIV]

6:39 "You can't forget about something or someone that you're thinking about" .....no truer words.

[@MentalHealness]

🙌🏾

[@emmajackson5139]

Let the new supply have them. They may look happy but didnt you two also look happy? Before all the trauma started. They will never be content and find actual happiness but we will. Happy healing everyone ❤️

[@ladyvirgo013]

Amen to this!

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽

[@cc1k435]

That's my whole philosophy. Good luck to the new supply, because I know how they're going to need it! 😂

[@joeyjo7553]

It’s an endless cycle 🔁 if they left or you left the narc that’s a blessing!! Let’s go live our lives

[@teeeeeee1708]

This is currently happening to me, 5 year relationship ended in cheating i then left him, he came back to me with old manipulation tactics and tears. But i couldnt give him the supply i used to anymore because my eyes were too open to the devil within him, he was so narcissistic and he went back to the girl he cheated with and now they are together, he seems happy. I think he truly is using her to get over me and its working, which hurts because in the 5 years he never left me so to be honest this has hurt even more than usual, i feel like he chose her but in reality he drained me of my supply, emotionally abused me, left me a shell of myself, devalued me then left me for new supply. Its one of the most painful things to realise the man you wanted to marry and gave everything too was only using you all along.

[@MentalHealness]

😫😫 stay strong

[@antoniajuddine203]

Good for you ! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@frankieperna1053]

You're worthy of so much more.

[@astrojolie6535]

I'm going through this exact problem as well right now I know how u feel. I'm sorry. We will get through it soon. 🫶

[@lorireed8046]

At least you got it before marriage and children. 28 years "trying" ... dealing with , fixing and working. 3 children and trying to raise them while he was absent yet married.

[@TheVaultwest]

The irony is that the narcissist criticizes me for not being completely emotionally healthy and non-reactive and not co-dependent when he’s setting HIS arrogant boundaries, yet he wouldn’t have have had the pleasure of my company and my demolished boundaries if not for my co-dependent tendencies. I’ve ended the relationship and moving into my free and emotionally healthier space.

[@Jireh_woolridge777]

I was married to a covert narcissist and watched in amazement at how she would "mourn" the relationships she herself destroyed. It was mind-blowing....thats when i realized how dangerous she actually were

[@laurenalmeyda6916]

A string of "bad luck in relationships" is not a good sign! Guess who is the next "person who gave up on me" to add to their pity story?

[@petergriffiinbirdistheword]

😂 My long time nac tried to do this when I left him. He told me a week later he thinks he met his wifey and I started laughing and told him I was happy for him. I think my reaction took him by surprise cause he got mad after that. Then a week after that he tells me he doesn't want to be with her because she is too needy and I immediately tell him to reconsider... that pissed him off again. I now have a final restraining order because he couldn't take the hint.

[@jlynnak1]

It’s true they just go from one to the next absolute facts

[@carolynmerritt7100]

The thing is it's a matter of time before the new person is in tormoil from being dominated and controlled. I got out very early.

[@NatzTalk]

Same

[@LaMesaC]

Same. Divorcing. I am a karmic empath, it's been whopping his a@$!

[@barb6868]

I admire how you got help and came out stronger on the other side. A real man! Thank you for your knowledge.🙏

[@JolandaClark-hk8kx]

My person told me recently, " i had to hurt you because i feel like , you thought you got away with what you did "

[@NatzTalk]

Gaslighting. Sounds like something mine would say. Last thing he said to me "nothing you can say will hurt me" dude what?! I'm not that type of person..so I just hung up and insta-blocked ...its been a week and 6 days

[@choseensoi]

Mine said "You need to learn that actions have consequences. If you don't understand that you can't act this way and you think you can get away with your behavior, I have no other choice than to dump you". And no, I didn't cheat or anything like that. He dumped me to punish me and we have been no contact for almost 2 months after 9 years together

[@Selesel1981]

This has to be the most hurtful part of leaving. Watching someone else get everything you wanted after the relationship is over. After all the bending over backwards you do to make them happy, seeing this is heartbreaking. 😔

[@Mithreniel]

I've seen this play out longterm. Trust me, the new supply's life is far from perfect, despite the image your ex displays. ❤

[@NarcissistabuseReal]

Omg this is why I kept coming back . Beating lose everything started self medicating . He gave the hoe all my clothes and I still went back . Then he said I'm a bum .. Small but that was it .

[@alliwishis_2]

Everybody here in this conversation seems to be codependent

[@Cynthia-ul4uh]

They really aren’t getting everything you wanted; they’re getting the same things you got because believe me, that so called niceness can’t be maintained by a narcissist. They are not capable -period . Just try to take comfort in the fact that you are no longer under their control. Please take this opportunity to heal and discover who you are. I’ve been through this and I can tell you from my experience, staying gone from that monster has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Wishing you well and God Bless

[@PatriciaS-t1x]

It’s just another way they stick the knife in that’s all. Mine does it all the time. Anyone who wishes to be back is hurting but leaving you know your a smart person. Believe me 60 years of watching narc destroy every one & everything is ... there’s no word s to describe the pain & I’m still caught in a financial trap. Be glad be very glad you escaped. I long to be free. Xmas Eve he sent me a text to say that all my clothes, furniture & possessions that he confiscated 3 years ago are in a storage shed and I’ve got 7 days to pay 1 years storage or he’ll give them away. Almost ruined Xmas day. I know it won’t be that easy getting them back. It’s always another trick to steal, kill and destroy me.

[@tomsmith4955]

The roller coaster ride with my narcissist after 6 years. During COVID she wanted a divorce because she was bored (who wasn’t). I think of her often and rather than being mad I pray for her. I know that she was sexually abused as a child, so I give her some slack. I pray for her several times a day that God will guide and protect her and that someday her eyes will be open. Since our divorce I have probably watched over 100 videos on narcissism, yet I have never once seen prayer recommended as a source of healing. Rather than ruminating for the narcissist, say a prayer for their healing and yours.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

Mine went away for a while (I guess they found someone else they thought would be easier to control or thought they were going to upgrade and it didn't work out) and then came back months later like nothing happened (or tried). I am so happy I moved on quickly and started researching this disorder. I just had too many questions after that relationship and thankfully it was a short one where I learned a lot about the types of people I want to avoid going forward.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@cc1k435]

It's that acting like nothing happened thing that makes me nuts about toxic people. I'm getting wrinkles lately from always looking at certain people who have no idea how crazy they sound but are expecting me to play along. 😂🙀🤪

[@dreamyclouds5583]

I hate that! OMG! So crazy, and crazy-making!

[@AA-pz9on]

21 years in an abusive relationship...ended it 4 weeks ago as I couldn't risk my life anymore. It took him 2.5 weeks to get on every dating site...including grindr.

[@Saraflowerk]

# 3 is why you make sure you're in a safe place before, during, and after the breakup.

[@Cynthia-ul4uh]

Absolutely

[@chivonfortney1656]

I broke the dark twisted dysfunctional curse in my family on my dads side. The buck stops HERE with Me! No More! ❤

[@GiftdKey]

GOOD ON YOU! YOU ARE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! ❤️

[@MentalHealness]

🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@sxfnlc]

My relationship ended with me blocking him on social media. I know he is in a new relationship cause it’s what gets him high.. but he has nothing to offer anyone cause he is an empty shell. He knows how to act like love but doesn’t know how to love for real. Only use for supply.. I wouldn’t be surprised if he is smearing me as well

[@sarahsparood]

The narcissistic cockroaches scatter under the lightbulb of shame 😂 -cracked me up.

[@MentalHealness]

😂

[@rxy1486]

My ex did the last one. When the officer showed up at the scene and saw how my ex was acting. The officer said he didn’t understand how i made it out alive the first time.. Ex became super enraged, obsessive and stalkerish. I had to get court ordered protection for him to leave me alone

[@rxy1486]

My ex didn’t want the relationship to end and he also never expected that I’d leave. When he lost control it sent him into a frenzy

[@MentalHealness]

stay safe

[@1badombre82]

Scary. Glad your ok. I've been checking my car tires every day for the past 2 weeks and just found my rear motorcycle tire deflated

[@rxy1486]

@@1badombre82 very scary. Everyday i wake up thankful for my life. Document the harassment, and install a ring camera if you can for proof! Stay protected!!

[@rxy1486]

@lillyfox2537 no he didn’t bc he thought id never leave. After the incident of physical abuse i was coming up with an escape plan w my therapist. When i was at work he read my messages and showed up at my job. He read that i wanted to get a restraining order against him of my macbook.

[@catib5943]

My ex was a tactical ninja, he moved on and did online smear campaign. Also continues to stalk 13 years later. Loved this, you are brilliant at what you do. You make it make sense ❤

[@MentalHealness]

Thank you. stay safe and empowered

[@mckenziecartercameron5762]

haha mine still almost 10 years later.... but still. I feel ya. mine tried to smear me.... and won a few over. Yet most people think of him as a complete joke fuck boy douche bag. Lucky for me ive never cared if somebody smear campaigns me. It saves me time weeding out the deplorables who dont serve a positive productive purpose in my life in any way. Something else... those narcs

[@petergriffiinbirdistheword]

Restraining orders are amazing

[@CreateYourTune]

13 years later and he still tripping? My Lord he needs to move it along already!

[@singjean]

@catib59 hi, would you be interested in sharing in DM? Someone I know is going through this and we don't know what to do to help...

[@palomathomas1020]

My ex-husband stalked me, broke into my house twice, stole my car, and tried to take control of properties we jointly owned during our marriage. He got his brother involved in the property stuff, so my ex-BIL sued me and claimed I owed him half a million dollars. I had to take them both to court, ended up winning and being the sole owner of the properties we had. It took eight years to straighten out. Now they both owe me several thousand dollars per court judgment. I wonder what this guy put his ex-wife through when she left him. 🤔

[@consciouslyLovely]

Resist the devil and he will flee

[@MentalHealness]

🏃🏼‍♂️🏃🏼‍♂️

[@VitaInDC]

I always wondered why a man would live with a woman and waste her best year for 7, 10 or 12 years, and keeps saying he isn't ready for marriage & fatherhood. But then after she's sick of waiting and breaks up, he meets younger woman, and marries her 3 or 4 months later with a nice wedding and immediately has a baby, all the stuff the gf begged him for years. I've read about these cases so often, maybe this is a main reason why.

[@kellyschable2049]

❤ sometimes the Narcissist does these thing's even when they haven't ended the relationship yet or you haven't ended the relationship.

[@MentalHealness]

♥️🙏🏽

[@Merbella]

Sometimes? Usually 😂

[@MacyLuv]

If you survived a narcissist or a sociopath and you are here........cheers. And welcome into the most exclusively tough club in the ether. 🥂✌️ #Filter #NiceShot,Man

[@smallypuppy22]

We are survivors!, not victims

[@ConnieMitchell-k3n]

My ex is thinking about me. I'm thinking about him too. We've texted not talked though because we need to distance ourselves and he needs to pretend. Texting helps him pretend to be whoever & whatever and I'm not buying it. I moved away he just wants a vacation retreat. I know and the answer is NO. Let him ruin the new supply's life. I'm living mine.

[@kristina4395]

They mourn by trying to destroy you and your life 🤷🙈

[@MentalHealness]

😑😞

[@Dansyoung]

I called out the behaviour. Cockroaches scurrying away as quickly as possible is spot on accurate 🤣.

[@MentalHealness]

😂😂

[@Shae_3]

I promise you talking about my ex, he did exactly that! He thrown himself into a new situationship, 2 months after our wedding was called off. Tried reassuring me he wasn’t going to add anyone else to his life and they weren’t going further. I guess he thought that would make me come back. He literally kept his word and didn’t add anyone serious because he ended up marrying her, idc what lie he told I wasn’t going back! I never thought of it as “because they are thinking about you.” It was painful but the best decision I ever made!!!

[@Nicole-fl8gv]

A coward will always try to escape the consequences of their actions! Time is your most valuable currency. Once you spend it, you don't get it back. Stop spending it on people that don't value it or deserve it

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@NatzTalk]

Best way to look at it! No refunds, exchanges or take backs. 💛😍

[@LaMesaC]

Great minds think alike 👏🏽

[@notyours0o.]

Literally have me tearing up over here. I love your realness.

[@MentalHealness]

🙌🏾🙌🏾 stay strong

[@baileysmith6330]

ONCE YOU'VE DATED A NARC or 2 YOU'VE DATED THEM ALL lol becomes easier to spot before you fall into the trap!

[@vicereineagustino4443]

this is so damn true, they dont want to mourn, they just jump from a relationship to relationship. They have no healing phase, they need a new supply right away or worst the new supplu was already there before your relationship with them ended. They dont want to feel the pain. They will work out their relationship with the new supply through love bombing. They want to be perceived as to a person who was a victim before and that they won being in a relationship right away and displaying as a perfect couple made for each other. The truth is, they just need validations from the new supply, acting like a victim so the new "empthic new supply" will comfort them. I was with a narc for 6years, and was about to settle, but on the day of our anniversary he told me there was someone else. And just jump to that new supply right away, no genuine apology, no explanations was given, no remorse, no guilt. This narc can progress to a psycho for real.

[@TiffanyParson-mw3yz]

Yep I was the new supply for my ex before he broke it off with his last girlfriend. It took us a while to become a couple but still he always treated my like his woman so it didn’t really matter. Now he’s jumping on to another woman at the gym that we both attend I guess to make me jealous but i just feel sorry for the lady if she actually starts dating him. He really needs helps but he thinks he’s perfect even after we were going to counseling together.

[@VioletFlame-Ivy]

Lee, I gotta be honest, you are one of the best "dating coaches" out there. You are not only teaching us about the true red flags in relationships, but also self- respect and awareness 😄 Lol

[@MentalHealness]

💪🏽💪🏽 that's the goal.

[@LUCIACHIEN-GALVEZ-w8s]

​@@MentalHealnessYOU ARE A MENTAL PEP TALK COACH INTELLIGENT INTERESTING SMART HELPFUL CARING REAL AS F🧭🧭🧭. A LIFE JACKET WHEN THOSE OF US DEALING WITH NARCS DROWNING IN DISAPPOINTMENT 🤬🧭💔😢🛐

[@tiffanyhitson4802]

This is hard. Its traumatic. Im leaving tomorrow but i had to pretend everything was okay.

[@missybiehl8740]

You got this ! You ARE okay now , cause you are coming in your power … it feels very hard now … it will be hard for some months … some twisted stuff happens in our minds , but you will start to feel safe to feel emotions again … and little by little you will feel trusting again … and life will expand …

[@Cynthia-ul4uh]

Please be safe. Wishing you well. God bless

[@sadiamufti8890]

All the best

[@teresaroquemore670]

Right don’t go back don’t go back

[@saracave7791]

I really believe that I’m a narcissist and was totally wrapped up in my own fantasy. It took someone mirroring me for me to recognize my awfulness. It’s been awful ruminating on everyone I’ve hurt. Even though it’s been a painful process I’m glad for it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be a good person but at the very least I can keep from hurting anymore people.

[@havalonsjourney]

Jesus can help you He is the only way. Ask God for a heart like His

[@lizzieschuch2800]

Jesus Christ came to save sinners. Cry & call out to Him and repent. He can give you the personal miracle of a new heart. Read His Word daily to allow your mind to be renewed - transformed like a caterpillar to a butterfly. :) JustWitnessing vid can explain.

[@Kita-ow9zh]

My ex husband would pop up on my job to see what I’m doing, and sit outside my job to catch me leave my job early. He was wrapped up trying catching me but he was the cheater. He would have a whole phone I never knew about, he went by different names, he was going on dates during the day while I was at work. He would roam around Walmart aisles and gas stations to pick up women. He was screwing women while I’m at work. He would come home like he didn’t do anything. I divorced him he act like I did him wrong

[@marilynkelly]

Finding a “new host” essentially.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽

[@traceybiles2061]

Exactly

[@juliemarie1566]

I am so glad to have your perspective right now. I swear it’s saving me!

[@MentalHealness]

Glad it was helpful!

[@heidycruz2196]

Amen!!!

[@bettycarmella1127]

Amen❤

[@UstashaMe84]

One of the few Narcs I respect! He recognises his condition and he took the time to get help with it to be a better person. Something 99.9% of narcs will never even attempt. In a BPD man and I am treating it constantly because I know it will require that to be a better person for myself and how I treat others. It will only improve your life. We aren’t evil all my cluster B folks.

[@angelg0ld]

I’m on my way to court right now to ask for a restraining order because of threats to harm me. What you said has me shook. I think I needed that dose of reality though so that I can stay vigilant

[@empressb444]

Threats of harm, you need a protection order not restraining

[@angelg0ld]

@@empressb444 Is there a difference? Protection order does sound right. It was granted for 5 years and thankfully he left the state.

[@empressb444]

@@angelg0ld yes. restraining order is for harassment of the other person basically, protection order is when the other person is a threat to you physically and/or has made threats to harm you in any way. Protection order is handled a bit more seriously by the cops than a restraining order as well.

[@geraldinevermaak2836]

I know now what spiritual warfare for one's soul is...that's dealing with these soulless and heartless beings... Proud of this creator of this content for healing himself and helping others.. he definitely beat the odds..as we all know there's no help for the rest...unless they truly want to help themselves.. Yes we all have narcissistic traits because we all have an ego especially if we haven't transcended the ego...we can all exhibit narcissistic traits The difference between them and us is that we want to transcend..evolve..ascend..and they don't see the need or reason why..nor do they think that there's anything wrong with them.. Unfortunately it's a spiritual warfare and because they don't want to heal they have given access to demonic entities to rule and conquer their vessels allowing them to be control and manifested through these beings.. They choose to spiritually descend..losing their spiritual integrity finding comfort in the darkness...and the entities controlling them needs the energetic supply to your soul's essence.. That's why you always feel shell shocked after narcissistic abuse on a revolving door because those demonic entities feeds off the energy of your soul.. Your joy..your peace..your harmony..your self worth..your self esteem...anything high vibrational energetically stemming from your soul's essence is what those entities are after possessing the narc.. We do not war against flesh and blood...but against spirits and spiritual principalities from the kingdom of darkness.. Stay protected and stay safe...and give no place to them...they love high vibrational energetic supply.. They feed off the new supply for too long..because normally if they can't find A grade supply they go around seeking who they can devour.. And when they can't find your A grade supply of energy they come back to the host..which is you...to finish you off as they believe that if they can do that...they can have a soul swap with you...that's what the demons in their minds make them believe... That's why most covert narcs practises the dark arts of energy manipulation... and it gets even worse from that point.. As they are out for blood...power hungry and control... and them losing control is the biggest narc injury..that's why they go as low as they can go to always win the upper hand at all costs... Stay safe..protect yourself at cost...this has got nothing to do with what you have going on on the outside but all to do with who you are on the inside.. The kingdom of heaven is inside of you".... and the enemy does not break into an empty house.. Stay safe..keep on healing and walking in the truth and light.. ❤ from South Africa 🇿🇦

[@PatriciaS-t1x]

I love what you say. It’s so true and the worst thing is I loved my brother all my life but then he revealed his true self and that was the worst. The betrayal. Even worse is he could end up in hell punished for eternity. Sin opened the door for evil to enter and it’s escalated from there.

[@PatriciaS-t1x]

@ geraldinevermaak. I am a Christian. But how do you protect yourself from these evil spirits. Narc is a Christian too.

[@geraldinevermaak2836]

@@PatriciaS-t1x it is really tough but it's possible.. you have to cut off the narc...doesn't matter who they are especially family...remember that there's no jurisdiction for demons regarding an unhealed vessel... as that's like giving them residence and a permit to possess you...because the vessels is unhealed and the house unclean....therefore protect your own house ( spiritually..mentally..emotionally and even physically) from these people who have given full residence to demons because they refuse to heal

[@LUCIACHIEN-GALVEZ-w8s]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SMART WISE COMMENTS HERE. GREETINGS FROM 🍷🍾🥂🍇🌉SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA 💐🧭🙏🛐☮️🌻💓🔮

[@lovepurpose5210]

Thank you for putting in each video "this is not the sign you're looking for." The distortion done to our minds needs to hear that, and you happen to say it exactly where it is needed ❤️

[@abihailhill6372]

200% TRUE‼️ LEE NEEDS HIS OWN SHOW, PERIOD‼️

[@MentalHealness]

🙏 every Thursday

[@mirrorgt908]

omg , this is so true, So he got caught cheating and he was venting to me. and he said "it does not matter if she comes back or not I'm working on someone else already" a day after he got dumped........CRazzzYYY!!

[@Mrsparanoidandroid]

"He can send you to the creator." Yes- this is very true! Be ware and end things wisely!! A couple of days after me braking up with him he hit me so hard I thought that was it. I went to the police, barely able to stand, and got a restraining order. Am still recovering from his abuse.

[@karenpangiadiaz3941]

😢me too 🙏🏼

[@Mrsparanoidandroid]

@@karenpangiadiaz3941😮😢❤

[@dawnmarieperez6349]

Yes some are dangerous and will refuse to let you go!!! She said I'll never let you go, but if that happens and she gets crazy I will have her arrested and I'll press charges sometimes this is what you have to do to be totally free!!! I'm so so DONE

[@leveece]

I like listening to you. You don't seem like a made-up script guy. you're speaking from your heart and from experience. I like that. you're real!😉

[@MentalHealness]

I appreciate it

[@Astra.Kiro.EGYPT27]

That's why I remain SINGLE.and if I had a partner they would not play up like that I WOULD NOT TOLERATE THAT AT ALL.

[@MentalHealness]

protect your peace

[@Rainbowgoth5]

And also playing the victim so hard they convince them self and flying monkeys they can and should move on fast since said ex is so horrible.

[@MentalHealness]

🎯🎯

[@Lillian-z7c]

We were out and we were looking for a restaurant, he brought a broke down employee woman to me saying he gave her 20.00 for showing him where the place was. How nice she had been to him the woman was looking at him like she swallowed a canary. It was so weird, that was my intuition telling me he was triangulating me with her. 😊😊I’m sure he exchanged phone numbers and started sneaking off to talk to her everyday for hours at a time. Telling me he was lost and couldn’t find the store. I know now he is a disloyal lowdown liar. Glad he’s discarded and blocked. 😊TGBTG

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@catherinereaves6811]

This is hitting hard. I'm currently going through a separation, it's now been 1 month and I'm realizing my husband is a narcissist. He didn't like to be told the truth about himself=shame light bulb. He tried to tell my friend that I'm not "perfect" like who's perfect?! he cheated and built in his mind that I've cheated. Never haveI cheated on him in 23 years. Everything you're speaking in this video I'm currently going through. it's hard and I'm in the process of rebuilding my life that he has taken from me. Thanks for this

[@Lexi_gem]

So true they always bring up their exes anything can trigger it too like I had him down pat he was NO puzzle

[@MentalHealness]

💯💯

[@BloomingFlower91]

My ex did this initially he discarded me and ran back to an ex! Then he stalked me, threatened me, acted out, begged me back, and smeared me like crazy. I went no contact for six months. He came back around me and I eventually noticed his antics starting up again and I got away so fast he ran back to another supply he had been dealing with while I was no contact. I don’t want him back now but he looks skinnier. He looks unhealthy and like he doesn’t care to keep his hygiene up!

[@Forexroadrunner]

He's not. He's chasing tail

[@cc1k435]

He will get worse every time because he thinks he "won" somehow. No winners here, though. I suggest you keep a list of all the worst moments handy for when you start to feel your irritation wearing down, because he'll be back again and again to test you. ❤😢

[@shayladozier6876]

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve noticed after they change supplies, especially like a long term supply, when they can’t find another, they start to look pale and sick in their face, almost like they’re losing weight, but not with their own control. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like as healthy as they try to perceive themselves. You still see it because you knew them like the real them and you know they’re sick like Wayyysivk now that you left.smh

[@rachelreed68]

Sounds more like revenging than mourning. I get the shame and guilt about the failure aspect they are avoiding, but nothing about the sadness, loss, or nostalgia that makes up actual mourning. Good info though. 👍👍

[@eunicegantt3069]

Thank you Lee for having the Courage to heal. And willing to share so that we can heal too!!

[@MentalHealness]

you’re welcome

[@FrozenRefrigeratedTrans]

My Ex Narcissist Girlfriend was talking to other men WHILE SHE WAS WITH ME and I busted her 3 times when I caught her cheating and talking to another man behind my back and when I Confronted her, She NEVER said that she was sorry for anything that she did to me which blew my mind. When I walked out on her, I NEVER said anything about her behind her back. If she wants to Smear Campaigning me that's fine with me because I don't GIVE A CRAP about her anymore. I'm still trying to get over the relationship by listening to Heavy Metal songs (The Band Testament) which is how I get over Break ups. Thank you for your words and making these Vids

[@MentalHealness]

you got it!!

[@SherryG370]

My xnarc tried to get me another source of his to get into a physical fight!! Backfired on him. I reached out to her in "peace". We talked and now he has lost us both!!! It was truly a win for her and I. He is hiding right now...😊

[@MentalHealness]

😅

[@amyludwig8685]

I commit to keep telling myself the truth.. write out all the abuse they caused, all the words they said.. remind yourself of the way they put you down, threatened you, discredited you, attacked you, controlled you.. treated you with contempt, disrespect.. minimized you, required you to have figure them out time and time again.. And then you won't care that they've "moved on".. Remember, they did not love you.. they were using you. I know how that hurts.. but be willing to break your own heart for your own wellbeing.. your heart will heal. ❤

[@denisenoles3159]

Yes! I agree with you.

[@falonsmith3505]

Thank you for the honesty and transparency❤️❤️❤️

[@Blessed591]

When they go to sleep alone at night , they surely think of the one who got away . . . At some point they will have to be alone . . .

[@jorgerios8472]

10 years total and 7 years married. I left because of no intimacy and gaslighting. She mourned for a whopping 4 days than moved on. And on top of that she told me she moved on actually in 1 week on my 42nd birthday that just passed.

[@cc1k435]

Of course she did! That would bother you the most. That's exactly how it goes according to the narcissist playbook. 😢

[@tranquility9325]

They do things like that so that you never forget how horrible they were on a day you won't ever forget.

[@tranquility9325]

Jorge...I just uploaded a vid on my channel about my previous marriage if you're interested. He also did the celibate thing with me too. Bec he refused to be a real man and protect me like he should have, I lost interest in him anyway. I was celibate during the final 10 yrs of my sham of a marriage. It's audio. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iqWyoKuMo7torMU

[@craigy691]

Yep my wife of 12 years discarded me 3 weeks before an operation and then 2 days before the operation I found out she was paying for premium subscription for online apps me and our child are devastated she’s happy happy happy she’s a nasty piece of work I’ve went no contact and haven’t seen it spoke to her in 4 weeks I have a mediator in place to deal with our child

[@NatzTalk]

Mine betrayed me knowing damn well it'd upset me😭 I walked away. Its been a week and 6 days. We got this💪🏾

[@brinasmith10]

Literally had to change my number…. I couldn’t believe it

[@MentalHealness]

💯

[@maryryanlearnteach4633]

I laugh when you laugh at yourself because, you say what your thinking out loud. My husband laughs out loud but, he doesn't actually say nothing but, he keeps laughing so I know it's sadistic.

[@Test-wi5pt]

Personal safety should be people's number one consideration! It is almost inevitable that many will try something to destroy everything new you try to start.

[@MentalHealness]

😞😞

[@johndarkorlean8308]

Didn't know at first I was dealing with a narc. Now I have to figure out how can I get out of here because I'm in a codependency trap. If I make a move, I'm instantly homeless. But I can't stay here. I've lost two jobs, never get to see friends, while she gets to call her friends and has 4000 friends in Facebook, I have only 300. I don't care to compete with her, but everything I do makes her more jealous, but she does so much in her time. But I can't even do any of my projects no matter how small or easy. I can't get anywhere in my own personal life, but I know all her friends and family. I'm going to leave it, soon.

[@NewMe-iq5os]

I’m so sorry. Keep watching these narcissism videos. Watch Doctor Ramani too. Prepare quietly to leave. Set aside money, etc. Don’t tell her you know she’s a narcissist (big mistake I made). Don’t trust anyone that is tight with her. Lisa A. Romano is another good source. Rebecca Zung is an attorney who has great videos on how to separate from a narcissist. Good luck.

[@iBlindAssassin]

It makes so much sense! All of the things that I complained about and wanted him to do, he started doing with the next person! 🤣

[@MentalHealness]

😂😂

[@lorireed8046]

Yup!! Funny shit... travels around the world with her, she got that chocolate diamond and he wants to get married to her ON my birthDate.

[@iBlindAssassin]

@@lorireed8046 🤣 he's still thinking about you?! I would be flattered

[@lorireed8046]

@@iBlindAssassin Yeah... I'm not.

[@lorireed8046]

@@iBlindAssassin It was a 28 years marriage. The promised BS of traveling when the children were out of the house, that chocolate diamond when we hit 30 years and getting an RV to visit each State.... he did with her ALL of it within 3 damned years. Lived in AZ for 14 years and he promised we would get an RV to the Grand Canyon. My children all saw the Grand Canyon for school trips... I, stupidly waited, now? Nah, I can see pictures on the internet.

[@TheeBigStokes]

Ex did everything you mentioned but stay watching my socials & communicating to the only connection we have through a mutual faithfully asking about me talking about missing me, thinking about me 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@Stardustpal25]

Lee, this is Another Excellent tutorial. You are gifted Teacher, a Survivor of the condition, and have Love in your life to make World Go Round. You've Earned every single accolade you're receiving. Thanks for doing the hard work, so we can do the good work. 🤝🌹🌟

[@MentalHealness]

i really appreciate that

[@romiebehr4575]

It's true! You've helped me more in a few hours than I could have ever imagined or could have found anywhere else. Thank you SO much for your honesty, vulnerability and being yourself.. such a gift! @@MentalHealness

[@LuzDelJesus]

From dark to light what a beautiful soul Lee ❤

[@criptrip0079]

Thanks Lee since i learned these methods of destroying the narcissist i been a walking narcissistic injury to her but self improvement and no contact will kill the narc slowly. She is in rage with me because I won't allow her access to me basically because I won't let her use me for anything. She tried to gaslight me into reverse Hoovering myself so now it's back to no contact lol thanks again Lee keep it coming..

[@MentalHealness]

thanks for being here

[@baileysmith6330]

Same here BACK on no contact probation for her lol my situation is different cause she's pregnant 😮‍💨

[@mollykayramstack6193]

My ex narc is doing the exact opposite... He has completely isolated himself, put blinds on all his windows and closes them, put a tarp over his garage door windows, locks everything, put up cameras and motion control lights, refuses to talk to any of the neighbors telling them he just wants to be left alone - poor him... I moved out and he's barely there anymore and when he is, it is completely bizarre behavior - looking disheveled and not talking to anyone. Our neighbors called to tell me as they were concerned... Well, I don't like anyone suffering, however, he made his bed and can now sleep in it without me. I just didn't anticipate this being his reaction. He wanted me out (screaming and raging again) and now I'm out. Didn't think it would affect him at all. Haven't heard from him either 🤷‍♀️ Just very strange considering his charming fun self he always showed to the neighborhood - now they too see the real him and I guess they're all getting the silent treatment. I have no clue...

[@External_Bastion]

I can't tell you how hard I laughed when you said: "Welcome, I'm your favorite" I spit my milk out. Thank you!

[@MentalHealness]

😊

[@cc1k435]

Would any narcissist say otherwise? 😂

[@tranquility9325]

​@cc1k435 you cannot compare him to other ppl. He wants us to win in our relationships. Most narcs aren't happy unless they are destroying someone.

[@cc1k435]

@@tranquility9325 They also like to talk themselves up, and I see that habit still hanging on. 🤣😉

[@tranquility9325]

@@cc1k435 wow.

[@lacylugo7596]

My narc tried to guilt & Shame me even though he discarded me in a fit if rage & when I didn’t beg him to come back - he said he was going to end his life - then of course I was concerned so I reached out to a friend of his to get support for him and he got mad at me for that … now he’s telling me he feels like I’m heroine to him (not that he’s ever done that) but he’s says it’s like he’s addicted to me- and he can either go cold turkey, ween off or get involved w/ someone else - I’m so trauma bonded to this man 😢😫 I don’t know how to get away - it’s like I want it to end but in some weird way Im scared of that too

[@cassondracollins1669]

Watch his video on the trauma bond. It’s helpful in understanding what they’re doing to us. I’m dealing with this right now 😢 We will heal and be ready for someone genuine 😊🙏🏽

[@mistys4745]

I love how you let us know…tht “this ain’t it”…when it comes to your lessons…I love it!!! “ THIS AINT IT!” 😂😂😂😂

[@MentalHealness]

😂😂

[@nopenopehole]

It would be good to hear like a Q&A between you and your wife - to hear her perspective on things would also be very interesting.

[@Merbella]

They've done a couple of these videos live.

[@havenCt3577]

Lord have mercy i sat here and have seen most of your vids and i put it all together pertaining to my ex smh i have so much to say smh.... i thank u for clearing up alot of this narcissistic behavior you put it in vids to the point smh thank you again 😔😮‍💨👍🏻👍🏻... my ex did this exact thing like 4 diff times in one year trying to find someone to supply her with what she needed its so sad really really sad how you see some people self destruct and you cant do anything bout it 1. Cause they think they right 2. They wont let you help them 3. They see no wrong in they eyes 😮‍💨😮‍💨😔 exhausting

[@jennifergodwin29]

Yeah and still they are haunted by us.

[@LaMesaC]

Oh yeah, karma working on that soul

[@cyndymiller8318]

Thanks! Love your insight, and it helps me heal a lot. I'd never go back to him, but I do want the best for him. Two of his three kids don't talk to him anymore either. Glad you are working on yourself, you have great energy.

[@MentalHealness]

Thank you

[@GIANTSlayer41012]

They sure will try to end you in coward ways. They have been on assignment to try to end me. Thank you for the confirmation

[@Annie-ol3jx]

Yes, thanks for this video. I walked away 5 years ago after confronting it,and telling it who it really was and that I could 👀 right through it. I'm the one who got away, now healing and continuing to gain knowledge about this disorder!!

[@davidhancock5529]

They’ll also give the new person everything you didn’t want, the rage , the confusion, just move on and live your lives , if you move on you will improve your lives. They can’t , don’t wish bad on anybody, but the narc mind is buried in dirt, so unless they sought professional help, they will forever be lost in their own world. Move on and be happy people, at least your not them ✌️

[@sameehasworld5155]

When I watched this video I was screaming so loud and laughing loud because you are spot on, that’s exactly what happened to me

[@MentalHealness]

‼️

[@kimmae9283]

Mine did the constant contact. He never left me alone.