Miscellaneous Myths: Aphrodite

[@ieaturgreenbean]

Someone: *Chooses to be virgin* Aphrodite: *so you've chosen death*

[@rimoros.1020]

Hey! I didn't choose to be virgin

[@Silverwind87]

She must not like Hestia, Athena or Artemis.

[@sirnikkel6746]

Weebs: *My time has come*

[@amrabrook1612]

@@Silverwind87 I don't know much about her relationship with Hestia. But she HATED Athena and Artemis lol

[@Silverwind87]

​@@amrabrook1612 prom queen vs jock

[@scarletrose2880]

Ancient Greece: aphrodite can't be the goddess of love AND war. Those things just dont go together Also ancient greece: let's make her do it with ares

[@TheAustronaut03]

*athenian gasp*

[@cybersearcher1041]

Yo *GET THIS COMMENT UP THERE*

[@AnimeSunglasses]

I feel like expecting THAT kind of philosophical consistency from Athenians is just going a wee bit too far. Diogenes excepted, of course.

[@moralityisnotsubjective5]

Spartans would probably say Athenians aren't real men.

[@Kip450]

Well, all is fair in love and war!

[@VioletxVelvet]

"Let's be real, having the goddesses of rulership and battle tactics opposing you in a war is not a good thing." Aphrodite Areia: "Heard you were talking shit."

[@dungeonmaster3464]

I think Aphrodite's role in that story would've been a lot more interesting if the kept her Areia traits.

[@elmolovesyou2320]

@Wolfie The Fudanshi you came here from smite too? Aphrodite is so annoying in smite 😩😡

[@inesbrites5035]

But then again Aphrodite Areia was very niche back then

[@DISTurbedwaffle918]

Venus ultimately won that conflict when Rome annexed the bickering Greek city states and rendered them largely irrelevant for the next 1000 years.

[@hime6785]

Dionysus: *say that again*

[@gray9818]

Okay but actually though having a "Who's the hottest goddess?" contest and being surprised/upset someone chose the goddess of beauty and love is like having a "who's the best at hunting?" contest and being surprised that Artemis won. Like, I get it, having three women asking you who's the most attractive is a no win scenario, but still

[@Kelaiah01]

Actually, I read that the Greeks considered Hera to be the most beautiful goddess. Which arguably does make sense, since she's the queen of the gods. Plus, several myths would have people declaring a certain woman is more beautiful than Aphrodite, suggesting that the Greeks believed she could be surpassed in the looks department.

[@seriouslatte9167]

afaik the "hottest goddess" is an interpretation, its equally valid to expand the adjective to define the "best" goddess or some other positive quality, so it makes more sense aphrodite wasn't the clear winner. also, the person above me had a good responses.

[@pinkcupcake4717]

It's less "Is Aphrodite hot" and more "Do I want to anger the goddess of war and the queen of the gods?"

[@greenredblue]

Yeah, just to pile on to what everybody else was already saying... Her being the goddess of love doesn't mean she's the goddess of anything associated with love. E.g. she's certainly not the goddess of faithfulness or stable relationships...

[@gray9818]

@@greenredblue She the goddess of love and beauty in a beauty contest. It wasn't a question of "who's the most faithful" or "who has the most stable relationships" (which, let's be real, is almost no one in Greek mythology)

[@josephmchugh4040]

Literally all of Greece: "You know, not every god/goddess needs to be related to war, right?" Sparta: aggressive warrior gasps! Vikings: "Don't listen to them Sparta!"

[@gabriel300010]

But... but... shouldn't EVERYTHING be war?!?!...

[@edim108]

@@gabriel300010 So did the Vikings thought.

[@KaiTenSatsuma]

Wasn't the Norse god of love notably a man?

[@doesntmatter2467]

they did have some non war gods.

[@talscorner3696]

@@KaiTenSatsuma I believe he is. Funny thing with Norse mythology is that almost any deity is ALSO the deity of some aspect of war xD like Oden: poetry? Sure! Knowledge? Bloody hell, yes! War? Why the heck not?!

[@jamestown8398]

Goddesses: "Which of us is most attractive?" Zeus: "You're asking me to judge between my sister-wife, my daughter, and my niece?" Goddesses: "Yeah." Zeus: "Um … you know who'd be a better judge? Paris of Troy! Yeah …"

[@wooyeah1738]

Actually, I believe Aphrodite is technically Zeus’ aunt.

[@jamestown8398]

@@wooyeah1738It depends. In the Hesiod she's born from Uranus' severed genitals, while in the Illiad she's Zeus' daughter with Dione.

[@wooyeah1738]

Jamestown Sorry, Yeah. I just often prefer the idea that she’s made the way the Hesiod describes it, because A, it’s an interesting idea of what happened to the original dead daddy, and B, it makes it a tiny bit less weird that Zeus wants to get it on with her, because it’s not father and daughter anymore. It’s still weird, but less weird.

[@noodlesmaster69420]

@@wooyeah1738 Zeus never did it with Aphrodite

[@wooyeah1738]

Darren Lin Debatable, but even if he didn’t, he was attracted at certain points.

[@davidhayward6382]

*Singlehandedly kickstarts an entire war* "Teehee, can't help being a Gemini"

[@alienindisguise5546]

Omfg I am Dying

[@rachaelevans8351]

David Hayward honestly I’m a Gemini and this is kinda wayyy too accurate

[@icetweiz]

Hilariously enough, the Gemini brothers (Castor & Pollux) were the brothers of Helen of Troy

[@Taizyaija]

girls literally run over a whole sidewalk of pedestrians and say "cant help being an aquarium"

[@samitorizawa]

I’m dying help

[@stoneryan69]

Eris yelling "Street Smarts!" As she throws the apple is to good😂

[@arcanistthesonofianite249]

I'm glad I wasn't the only one to see it

[@MagicWithinStudios464]

Same!!!

[@darkraven5106]

Sparta: All gods are war gods! Rest of greece: that doesn't make any sens.... Norse: Heeeey! Up tops Sparta!

[@greywalker505]

Is that why Kratos moved to Norse mythology?

[@discmanthecdlord]

@@greywalker505 pretty much

[@jadefields9020]

@@discmanthecdlord he is moving into shinto next

[@rhys2275]

... im not one on war but i’ll get my hands dirty if i have to ;)

[@discmanthecdlord]

@@rhys2275eeyyyyyy

[@rhettdilley]

“Amazingly, the bath bomb ballsack is the less disturbing version of the legend.” That alone earned you another subscriber

[@loveydoveydoll4]

Yayyy! Welcome to the subscriber club

[@nightshade_v76]

I bust out laughing at “bath bomb ballsack”

[@averyforoughi2117]

i would want that

[@thehermit8618]

Yeah, definetly less disturbing than a Hitite God practicing cock and ball torture with his mouth and roleplaying as a seahorse

[@NewCoke7]

@@nightshade_v76 BUSTT?????1!!!!1!

[@zoltanszaszi2264]

Aphrodite Urania: Love is a divine, transcendent thing Aphrodite Pandemos: Love is passion and physical attraction Aphrodite Areia: THIS IS SPARTA

[@WhitneyDahlin]

‼️so does Aphrodite come off as that sorority girl who is now a bored and desperate housewife to anyone else? the whole unable to manage her own relationships but LOVES giving advice and helping others with their relationship problems?? sleeping with anyone but her husband?? very attractive yet weirdly jealous?

[@mephistopheleshellel693]

She is Athena, too. It's her divided yet again!

[@bestaround3323]

Aphrodite Aeria: Love is war

[@emiliashadownight-blacktho2766]

@@mephistopheleshellel693 devided state? (sorry Unwind reference)

[@LoneWolf20213]

@@mephistopheleshellel693 I always thought that Aphrodite personally helped Athena get her standing as it is as it would explain why there are 2 versions of Athena who were born before and after Hepestuas as the one born before Hephaestus was just Aphrodite seen as Athena

[@JacksonJinn]

*Aphrodite:* Who are you? *Astarte:* I'm you but a fighter *Ishtar:* I'm you but _a damn queen_ *Areia:* I'm Astarte again *Urania:* I'm you but a saint *Pandemos:* I'm you but a sinner~ *Virgin Mary:* I'm not you but the Christians think I am

[@rampage75_25]

Holy maiden full of grace, punch the devil in the face

[@srininaveen7157]

@@rampage75_25 I don’t why but I feel like that should be in one of Wilbur Soot’s songs

[@rampage75_25]

@@srininaveen7157 i found it under a medivial cover of "the only thing they fear is you", doom soundtrack

[@8bitutopia1954]

Inanna: So apparently some people think I am Ishtar as well…

[@luizfellipe3291]

It's fun bc in my language "areia" just means "sand"

[@Irishcrossing]

"Oh Aphrodite, you don't belong on the battlefield you silly, silly girl." "Why?" "Becuase women aren't allowed on the battlefield." "Okay, but why is Athena on the battlefield then." "Look imma be real with you, we already have at least two official war gods and that isn't even including aspects or other higher beings. Can you please just sit this one out."

[@Gooberwares]

Irishcrossing do you want to fighter a shipper? I hear they get violent

[@TheRhuen]

Goes full Ishtar and beats down the other gods and unleashes an army of zombies,

[@moonlightdumbass264]

@@Gooberwares oh man you're right! Trust me fighting with my kind is life treatening, mostly when it comes to ships

[@just_radical]

tbh a lot of the celestial parts of the Iliad are the other gods complaining that Zeus lets Athena do whatever she wants because she's his favorite. There's even a part that's literally the Gordon Ramsay "oh precious/you donkey" meme with Athena and Ares.

[@halfway7690]

@@just_radical I thought Artemis was his favorite? Wasn't there a pophcey that she would be Zeus's equal and her unborn brother greater?

[@CoRLex-jh5vx]

No one: Aphrodite: wOOpS.......my rObeS.......acCiDenTAllY.......FEll.....WhaTeVEr SHalL I dO

[@CoRLex-jh5vx]

@UC8E13w0VvVpUi4Gz57BF0dA fam that's maybe the most famous song of that genre, and that genre happens to be my favourite, so I've heard it maybe a hundred times. It completely fits, you're so right

[@mrendyman4824]

“The fastest humper in the west”

[@jadefields9020]

@@mrendyman4824 i know what you should do steal some hide from artemis since you hate her guts😆😆😆😆😆

[@rhys2275]

hey don’t knock it till you try it nudism is the shit

[@nerkdurgen5574]

*Zeus

[@MellowSquash]

Avengers is the most ambitious crossover of all time Ancient Mythologies: *allow us to introduce ourselves*

[@whytho2047]

Yes

[@brinaf2857]

They didn't mention Freya (probably for a matter if geography), but she was also a goddess of love, beauty and war.

[@0zer018]

@@brinaf2857 there's also Benzaiten, who's also a goddess of love, beauty, and war. And coincidentally, a sea-spawn

[@adeleaslan8182]

@@brinaf2857 and witchcraft! She was basically the dream goddess

[@yashsharma6734]

@@adeleaslan8182 girlie was working full time

[@skythedeer4913]

Athens: *at Aphrodite* you can't be the goddess of war, that's wrong you are a woman Athena: *stares blankly at the city-state named after her*

[@decoral]

Athena: *Maybe if I give them an olive tree they won't notice.*

[@averonisgaming9023]

Its not that she couldnt be a war goddess because she's a woman but rather because she's a goddess of war AND sex, which remove life and take it respectively, thus the inherent contradiction

[@daleketchup7434]

@@averonisgaming9023 so basically being the goddess of war and sex cancels each other out

[@durrangodsgrief6503]

@@averonisgaming9023 I find that love in of itself is a battle

[@pastorTracy911]

Athena would probably agree

[@siegesquirrel42]

New headcanon: the "previous versions" of the Olympians continue to exist as facets of the god in question's personality. Aphrodite: Aphrodite: "Oh, teehee, I don't know what I was thinking!" Aphrodite Areia, literally the second Zeus' back is turned: *"Just as planned."*

[@CykeMonkey]

I like this one. Though, I kind of think that part of the reason Aphrodite messes with everyone is that she was ticked that her Goddess of War status was taken from her

[@morgangrant3479]

All the Greek gods have DID then

[@kingofthings7929]

Could even take this further. All part of the plan to forge herself an empire based on her son, What with Aeneas and all.

[@demi-fiendoftime3825]

@@kingofthings7929 few century later Rome pops up Aphrodite/Venus with ominous Kira face: Just as Planed ;)

[@BlackCover95]

Alternatively, she caused the Trojan War, but had historians write that dialogue to trick everyone into thinking she _couldn’t possibly_ be behind it.

[@andrewollmann304]

Aphrodite Areia, Ishtar, and Astarte: Because love is a battlefield.

[@morgangrant3479]

Best pun

[@shanedoesyoutube8001]

Well well well do these three are gonna enjoy watching Kaguya-sama together

[@JackedThor-so]

"Stabbed through the heart, and you're to blame, Aphrodite is her name."

[@onlywylie]

Benatar too

[@theoverpreparerlamenters3r436]

Wait, my firstborn brothers (astartes) are named after a goddess of LOVE!? Grandfather has a sense of humor!

[@potandpoliticswithmr.broph1420]

makes her relationship with Ares make a lot of sense too being a war god originally

[@alecchristiaen4856]

... that sexy time would be arousing and terrifying both at once.

[@spleens4200]

All is fair in love and war... o

[@alecchristiaen4856]

But they are opposed in how they wage it. Athena's the clever and cunning tactician. Ares is the brutal warmonger

[@morganrobinson8042]

@@alecchristiaen4856 And Aphrodite wrecks you just because she feels like it. No, plan, no forethought, no motive;just he pure chaos she inherited for Ishtar.

[@kahmorastimemanagement6096]

Two things never change; love and war

[@MrSolomonGaming]

Actually in Spartan Culture the wife/mother of the household is often revered. They were said to have political power and were the ones in charge back home. I read somewhere that a Spartan's biggest disgrace is being divorced by their wife. So Aphrodite in Sparta being a War-Mother as well as Love/Fertility makes perfect sense.

[@nyxshecate-2jeipews]

nice

[@NewNewColt]

The women in Sparta controlled all of the family finances. The Kings often had to borrow money from their wives to wage war. On top of that whenever a husband died the wife got everything so some women would end up with like 3 or 4 family fortunes. For being a society perceived as peak machismo they were very whipped.

[@judahosborne8868]

Zeus: *tears his siblings out of his father's stomach and overthrows them* Artemis: *breaks free of her father's head* Aphrodite: B A T H B O M B B A L L S A C K

[@horinum]

Judah Osboja Athena is the one who came out of her father head.

[@Ozilus21]

Athena*

[@sheimaina655]

Judah Osboja Artemis and Apollo: hatches from eggs

[@ysabelskylar6544]

I think it was Athena???

[@theodosiaburr6559]

Maybe you meant Athena instead of Artemis?

[@werewolfanimegirl6261]

Can't wait until Persephone gets a video

[@wisewillow7530]

ya maybe OSP can tell us why all the gods gave her there children when they needed to be hide. Every video red always talking about this god and that god gave perseph there child to care for lol XP i find it soo funny

[@snekkoheckko4466]

@@wisewillow7530 Probally because no one wants to mess with hades

[@jadefields9020]

@Squidward i know what about hades and persephone in one video

[@Lord_Of_Night]

@@jadefields9020 I think Red already made one. The underworld myths video.

[@carolineseitz7426]

YES! I’ve seen so many things on the internet that contradict each other. But I’m too lazy to actually look it up myself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@aperson7199]

Aphrodite actually CAN be classified as a war god, because of how many wars/ conflicts she started!

[@Romandy13]

The goddess of ship wars.

[@nonbirenthenon-binarysiren6299]

Why is this so true!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@stevennguyen5771]

tee hee hee0705 and she did kinda started the Trojan war.

[@raspberrycrowns9494]

Trojan war and???

[@Lord_Of_Night]

@@raspberrycrowns9494 All the Roman Conquests, technically.

[@roseyghost]

If Aphrodite was a real person she’d either be that “YOU JUST GOT MARRIED? WHEN ARE YOU GONNA HAVE KIDS?!” person or the “So I just set you up on a date with this random discord mod :3”

[@pingu4938]

Why not both?

[@animalloverkaileigh]

She wouldn't be the person to say, “YOU JUST GOT MARRIED? WHEN ARE YOU GONNA HAVE KIDS?!” She would immediately jump "WHEN ARE YOU GONNA HAVE GRAND KIDS?!"

[@janTesika]

she seems much more motherly in the modern hellenist view, maybe the centuries have mellowed her out..?

[@AyubuKK]

More like both

[@66Roses]

"The goddess of beauty and sex being simultaneously a goddess of war was... unlikely to bother the Spartans." A fantastic understatement.

[@HaydenX]

Areia: "Marry fuck kill!" Random person: "Oh...I love that game!" Areia: "Game?"

[@dungeonmaster3464]

@@HaydenX Isn't the game "fuck, marry, kill" in that order? It's nitpicky, but changing the order has some ironic implications.

[@HaydenX]

@@dungeonmaster3464 I've personally heard at least a dozen different variations on it including "bed, wed, behead", "snuggle, snog, stab", and all combinations of "fuck, marry, kill", "marry, fuck, kill" and "kill, fuck, marry". I'm not too worried about the order...just like the phrase "what goes around, comes around" can also be "what comes around, goes around".

[@dungeonmaster3464]

@@HaydenX Okay. I never really paid much attention to it or sought it out, so I only knew one variation.

[@mindstalk]

@@HaydenX "wed, bed, behead" is Henry VIII

[@ArcstoneBionicle]

Something hilarious I found: Aphrodite had a child with Hermes, and it was literally named Hermaphrodites. This feels appropriate, considering Aphrodite is basically the goddess of shipping. EDIT: I am aware of the actual meaning of the word "hermaphrodite," although I wasn't when I first wrote this comment.

[@SM-qv2om]

Dionysus also slept with Aphrodite even though she's technically his great grandmother

[@scooperdooper4097]

@@SM-qv2om I would like to not think about that

[@meaninglesscommenter8457]

@@scooperdooper4097 hera and zeus are married and siblings

[@scooperdooper4097]

@@meaninglesscommenter8457 Gaya and Ueraunos are married and Gaya is technically Ueraunos’ mom

[@dhampir_days]

funny enough, that's how we got the word hermaphrodite, since the child had both sets of genitals

[@soljustsol8616]

“Bang bang into the room” **Three goddesses jump in front of poor Paris**

[@noahenyet3302]

Shoto Todoroki SOMETHING’S WRONG, I CAN FEEL ITt

[@WhyAreWeHereJustToSuffer69]

Shoto Todoroki: gawd yes-NO I DIDNT CALL UPON YOU APHRODITE. GOD DAM-

[@ok-hr4if]

SHOTOOOOOOOO

[@panicontheargo7034]

Pretty much the gods in general

[@WhyAreWeHereJustToSuffer69]

papuruheizu. Ya know when I first saw this I had no idea what ur comment meant,but now I have da knowledge, of my hero academia

[@LinearAztec]

Red getting increasingly angry over the constant need for tit-censorship is the funniest thing in this video

[@thegaarachan89]

I had to keep pausing the video to read them. Do not regret it! They were hilarious!

[@timothylaskey745]

“Aphrodite thinks a ship is cute and makes it canon without regard to consequences” - LOL!!

[@redandlippyproductions]

literally me with fanfics lmao

[@oscarcano562]

Mina!!

[@ave8685]

Aphrodite and I wouldnt get along Im such an overthinker

[@rockhistoria2537]

Aphrodite is basically the personification of every teenage girl except that she has lovecraftian powers

[@videogollumer]

Aphrodite: Eros! Why haven't you shot Sonic with an arrow while he's near Amy yet?! Eros: I'm sorry, mother, but he's just too fast for me to land a hit! Hermes must have given him a boon at birth. Aphrodite: Fine! Then I'll take matters into my own hands! You WILL love Amy, Sonic; you WILL!!! Ahahahahahaha! Eros: Um... mother?

[@Wildstag]

I almost wonder if her "Aphrodite Areia" epithet might have influenced her trysts with Ares. As a Goddess of Love and War, it'd be unsurprising that she'd also be down for some fun for the native Greek God of War.

[@ave8685]

Yeah and then she could take advantage of her husband to make weapons

[@kyuven]

Considering a lot of Ishtar and Ereshkigal's myths get sewn together, and Ereshkigal shacked up with the god of war and plague, and Aphrodite is kinda-sorta Ishtar...makes sense. Mythology is weird, yo.

[@glasscardproductions4736]

@@ave8685, that's actually what nearly happened with Athena and Hephaestus, but then Aphrodite came along and saw what fine work he could do for her jewelry. Aphrodite Areia only met Ares, so he'd probably be her provider of that kind of thing.

[@Scarshadow666]

@@kyuven ^ This! Mythology gets weird the more you go down into the rabbit hole.

[@zrc1514]

@@glasscardproductions4736 Athena and Hephaestus never had intimate relations, kinda defeats the virgin goddess thing. He tried to assault her once which ended up impregnating Gaia and Athena raised the subsequent child but that's the closest thing to happen. Not sure about the jewelry bit, I've only seen versions where Zeus sets them up out of fear or some similar negative emotion of Aphrodite.

[@chrisp.9385]

Aphrodite in war: "You fall in love and you fall in love, everyone falls in love"

[@urmomlovesme811]

"except u, u ugly"

[@jadefields9020]

@@urmomlovesme811 except for hephestus

[@vicklepickle301]

*asexual and aromantics moving to america*

[@juiweiyang1033]

Nearly all ancient pagan religion got one thing in common, the goddess of sex, is also associate with motherhood, warrior and always portray as extremely beautiful.

[@thebestcentaur]

Guess I got passed over...

[@strongfish9198]

Literally anyone: **is single** Aphrodite: and I took that personally

[@cmaej28]

"Aphrodite is terrible at managing her own relationships, but she does like helping other people with theirs." I can name at least two of my girlfriends who are like that.

[@elineverstraeten1872]

People can do whatever they want, but maybe the problem is that you have too many girlfriends

[@matthewgallaway3675]

@@elineverstraeten1872 I feel you misunderstood.

[@elineverstraeten1872]

@@matthewgallaway3675 Yes, I am misunderstood and I appreciate your empathy.

[@mslightbulb]

Current girlfriends or ex girlfriends. Either way maybe run, run while you still can.

[@elmolovesyou2320]

maybe the person meant girlfriends as in female friends.

[@joshuahunt3032]

“DAMMIT POMPEII JUNK LIKE THIS IS WHY YOU GOT SET ON FIRE” I love how Red just gets progressively angrier at having to censor human genitalia and other potentially sensitive organs in art. It’s sad, but also funny.

[@Acquaintance6336]

@Reg Eric she does if she wants to be monetized

[@joyandgrace9183]

Timestamp???

[@revpembroke3082]

It's also funny because she missed a boob about 41 seconds in. Who I guess to be Aphrodite is covered, but there's a women on the left who still has one showing.

[@monticore1626]

Although it is entirely in character for Aphrodite to dress minimally

[@asdfzzz]

Yeah, American puritanism is pretty sad, especially when it spills over into the internet instead of just staying in the US.

[@Pensushets]

Aphrodite: **Tee-hee~ totally a ship-queen** Aphrodite's alt account: **THIS IS SPAAAARTAAA BITCH!!**

[@rainbowmothraleo]

Aphrodite on her "official" account, which is monitored by her dad: *oh yes, I'm so into purity and morality*

[@whytho1534]

@@rainbowmothraleo her dad is dead tho so that's not possible

[@rainbowmothraleo]

@@whytho1534 I'd say, that in this version her dad is Zeus, but he's obviously won't give a shit about her daughter's shenanigans. Also Uranus is not dead, he's just castrated, but he's still kinda exist in a form of the sky

[@missy1286]

THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAGAHAHHGGAAAAAAAHHHAAAIPSDLK;DNSVBLIDKBIPLKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -aphrodite areia

[@Freelance_Fandom_Collector]

@@whytho1534 *wait isn’t her dad literally immortal?*

[@mollydaughterofduck1484]

This one, Dionysus, Loki, and Persephone and Hades videos are my favourite. Love looking at all the history and syncretism.

[@TalkingVidya]

My favorite part of Red's videos on Aphrodite is her using the chessiest love songs she can find.

[@whatwhat98]

Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' is no love song.

[@kitcutting]

whatwhat98 Mambo No. 5 is the name of the song.*****

[@whatwhat98]

@@kitcutting good thing im used to feeling like an idiot. Thanks for the correction

[@Jessie91J]

I found the songs sooo distracting!!!

[@voivodadracula1936]

Same tbh. Btw good to see you here

[@docingraham]

"*Athenian gasp" is my new favorite catchphrase.

[@cheesecakelasagna]

I'll use it at every opportunity from now on.

[@virginiarailfannoah5415]

Me too, @@cheesecakelasagna.

[@Grace-ol2id]

I screenshoted it and it is now my background. It’s great

[@virginiarailfannoah5415]

You know, @@Grace-ol2id, I made that moment in the Theogony video where Athena says "Oops, I was aiming for the nose" a background. I also made 1:15 a background.

[@joshcolon8291]

Now I'm just imagining a scene in some mythology-based fiction that goes like: Eros: (backed into a corner by some incredibly dangerous and powerful force) I didn't want to have to do this... but you've left me with no choice. (takes a deep breath) MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! Aphrodite: (materializes behind said threat and painfully grips their shoulder) Tell me... are you familiar with the phrase, *"love hurts?"*

[@mysteriouscolours1532]

I love this tell me more

[@dyppityjoop5912]

Proceeds to sick like a entire town of love sick/enraged humans onto that force, then when that doesn't work just proceeds to go into war mode and absolutely destroys the enemy

[@Franz0818]

So your saying Eros is a stand user????

[@scooperdooper4097]

*APHRODITE AREIA INTENSIFIES*

[@mohammedyousef4005]

I like to think that the "force" is hera trying to get eros to make zeus faithful to her

[@c0mput3r80y]

I think it's funny that the Golden Apple competition started when Achilles' Parents got married, and ended many years later when Achilles had been born, grown up, and become a famous warrior. That means that Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena all fought over a stupid beauty contest for at least 20 YEARS.

[@adeleaslan8182]

I just realized that timeline makes no sense 💀

[@aina____]

Well they are gods so their perception of time is different, 20 years for humans is a very long time while 20 years for gods are just a few days

[@sasielb8922]

@@aina____yea they got all the time in the universe to ponder and seethe while humans gotta forgive and forget before we wither away with our senior citizen’s discount

[@rodlurks66]

Closer to 17 years as Achilles was 16 when he went to Troy.

[@DragonbIaze052]

@@rodlurks66 Didn't Odysseus leave for war with a pregnant wife and come home to a teen son?

[@Okada_Caelun]

So what you're saying is it's possible that Aphrodite didn't kidnap Helen of Troy without thinking of the consequences... but possibly did so as a war goddess knowing it would kick off the massive Trojan War?

[@amandajohnson3531]

So on the outside she was, "Oh, silly me! I didn't mean for this to happen, I just thought they'd make the cutest couple! Teehee!" But on the inside she was, "Oh... this is gonna be fun." I'm okay with this idea.

[@92JazzQueen]

@@amandajohnson3531 She gets a war and her shipping confirmed. No wonder she and Ares hit it off.

[@Great_Olaf5]

Another interpretation is that she did it no make her boyfriend happy. If you're in a part of Greece where the b was goddess aspect was suppressed.

[@nesrynthesloth4952]

Omigod, yes

[@InsaneLaughter01]

Caelun Niveus Aphrodite: *Looks At Athena and Ares, then puts on shades* Whose the war goddess, now bitches?

[@ashohkawa2419]

“She would literally murder people to maintain her OTPs and NOTPs.” Same

[@nightshade_v76]

Same

[@chrishansen1842]

_So you have chosen..... _*_Death_*

[@alienindisguise5546]

Fan fiction authors be like?

[@pastelloca6976]

Toxic shippers be like

[@jadefields9020]

@@pastelloca6976 if you think she is bad our little cherub is worse than her even zeus is afraid of cupid do not be fulled by his chubby baby body he is a monster😈

[@AE-wv8jd]

quote of the day "the bath bomb ballsack is the least disturbing version"

[@digitalmania6966]

I died when she said that. It was amazing 😂

[@stasia6103]

It sounds like a very disturbing “toy”

[@kiwisoup1863]

sidenote: “eating egypt”

[@rhettdilley]

That alone made me subscribe. Funny line, great delivery

[@AyubuKK]

Ace Blazer 😂

[@lizzielorelli5740]

I love these god dissections! I would honestly love to see one about Hera. She’s the goddess of marriage, patron of kings, goddess of family, she’s awesome and powerful but often portrayed as vengeful and petty. I wonder if she has any deeper roots like Aphrodite

[@katherinerobinson7540]

Just a thought, but when you consider Aphrodite's history as a war goddess, her relationship with Ares makes even more sense. While the more common versions of her deny her original identity as a war goddess, her relationship with the literal embodiment of war still gives her that connection to that "former" part of herself. It also may help show why war/battle is a backdrop to her stories or result of some action Aphrodite preforms. In some ways her relationship/connection with Hephaestus even becomes more logical beyond the forced marriage narrative the mythology provides us with: it makes sense to connect a war goddess, former or otherwise, with the blacksmith god who forges the weapons of the gods.

[@agentzwlf3693]

Shame she prefers the guy she can talk about war with rather than the guy that can supply her with the actual tools of war.

[@thistleserbel2214]

@@agentzwlf3693 its looks really.

[@kpimkpim349]

Ares is 'the god of war' is a bit misleading. From my current understanding Ares is the God of War in the sense of the passion/rage/feeling of the warrior or brutality of war it's self. Athena is also the Goddess of war but the 'strategic/tactical/disciplined aspect. So I see Aphrodite and Ares having a relationship alluding to the 'passion' they share as a mutual part of their natures. That's just me doh'

[@jaeg.3806]

@@agentzwlf3693 It's good social commentary though.

[@TheWildmanden]

@@kpimkpim349 Well, also, as far as we know, Aphrodite was into dudes and Athena was into books, so pairing her with Ares made a lot more sense, especially if you were trying to appeal to a broader audience. Besides, Ares was way more popular in Sparta than Athena, so it might also be a geographical thing.

[@catchthesedreams92]

*How the fight went between Aphrodite and Persephone:* Aphrodite: OH he's HOT NOW! Can I have him bAAAACK? Persephone, worrying about what Aphrodite will do with her adopted child: Oh HELL nAH!!

[@dite898]

I researched a bit about the fight and they said that Persephone fell in love with Adonis and that Zeus had to mediate that 1/2 of the year Adonis would be with Aphrodite and the other half with Persephone, but Adonis likes his Mother(Aphrodite) that he just stayed with her. In one version, Persephone got jealous and sent a boar and killed him. In another version, the boar was Ares and in others Artemis killed Adonis. They were pretty complicated.

[@decoral]

@@dite898 Aphrodite is not Adonis's mother.

[@maxi_the_tabaxi2264]

*Oh Hades naw. Please refrain from making this mistake in the future, not trying to be rude.

[@Borderose]

Adonis was born when his mother seduced his grandfather.

[@ilpensatore1462]

Persephone banged Adone in all versions of the myth, so pretty much no

[@alinarendon2099]

Athena: Your daughter. Hera: Your wife. Aphrodite: A fangirl. Yikes. Yeah, good luck Zeus.

[@dicedragon6207]

Aphrodite is also his daughter/auntie

[@dicedragon6207]

@@amphioctopus conflicting origin stories is how

[@trexarmando]

Hera is also his sister

[@cheese7432]

Elninonumber1 *A L A B A M A 100*

[@TheBeastr]

Zeus is her father/uncle & nephew... I think this has gone far beyond Alabama. What's next? Zeus is a transsexual who reproduces with himself... to birth Athena?? And then Hera gets a botched surgery so her child comes out deformed... oh right...Hephaestus.

[@Teramin1]

Two things that occurred to me that I’m pretty sure aren’t in the video 1. While Aphrodite’s direct war connections were erased, they lived on in her romance with Ares, something that likely didn’t exist in the precursor dirties where she was the goddess of war. 2. Zeus’ comment about Aphrodite not belonging on the battlefield might have served a dual purpose in also suggesting that love didn’t have a place on the battlefield, either between sides or also possibly to encourage the very gay greeks to not seek out romance with the other soldiers and disrupt the larger structure of loyalty in the army.

[@crhu319]

Err re 2 the Greeks in this era saw comradely love relationships as essential to keeping a tight phalanx. Not disruptive as the tactics were collective & absolutely rigid. Pun intended.

[@PyrusFlameborn]

@@crhu319 you fight extra hard when your beloved is right next to you fighting as well and if you fail he dies as well

[@roguemetamorph6353]

Example A) Look what Paras did to his homeland in the name of "love". Example B) Who wants to watch their lover die like Achilles and Patroclus?

[@PlanetEarth1369]

@@PyrusFlamebornehe, “extra hard”. Yes, I know, I’m very mature.

[@rorystockley5969]

@@crhu319 Wrong. Completely the wrong era of greek battle.

[@WilyGryphon]

"You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting 'Vanity', thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for your own pleasure." -John Berger

[@katie1925]

Damn John Burger must've been bullied at school for that name

[@jennifershay8980]

@@katie1925 Least his name wasn’t Burgermister Misterburger

[@whytho1534]

nah Aphrodite was painted naked because shes legit the God of love sex and beauty and besides everyone during that time period liked to paint naked people for some weird reason

[@omarelmasri9939]

Didnt they paint literally EVERYONE naked

[@madr309]

@@whytho1534 Not that weird a reason.

[@valentinevalendor7913]

Child of Athena: “I’m wise” child of aphrodite: “my mother is a divine helicopter mom!”

[@valentinevalendor7913]

Everyone : “oh shit run away”

[@panicontheargo7034]

Hate to be “That Person” but Annabeth and Piper

[@owenpickles4486]

@@panicontheargo7034 y E S !

[@micaelaproano6128]

@@panicontheargo7034 YESSSS

[@talimbeingaverythriftyghor5967]

AHHHHHHH

[@tangally]

i'd really like one of these about Hestia. she's supposedly one of the most major gods, and one of the children of Kronos, but there seem to be exactly 0 myths about her… idk, seems like it'd be interesting.

[@wooyeah1738]

There’s really only a few. She’s a major god because she was worshipped a lot in Greece, because she was the goddess of the Hearth, and therefore really important.

[@panicontheargo7034]

I think the reason why there are so few myths about her is because she minded her own business and was kind to literally everyone. Nobody on Olympus disliked her, and basically teamed up once to protect her.

[@lisrt7350]

Huh. It's so easy to overlook her. Since her name means hearth I wonder if Hestia stories were cookbooks, diy and farming manuals, or herbal lore passed on through families... Nothing epic, but still interesting.

[@joelleblanc8670]

She was the only member of the whole family who wasn't insane, homicidal or sociopathic.

[@tomsmurf4225]

She was a sweet girl who didn't meddle with other peoples lives and was kind and caring to the point that all the other gods loved her. The only myth that prominently involves her is when some guy tried to rape her while drunk, and ALL THE OTHER GODS came to her aid and beat the shit out of the offending party.

[@prof.loophole9708]

Rewatching this I suddenly realized something. The fact Aphrodite had an epitaph of war is why she frequently hooked up with Ares the God of War. This was probably a form protest to keep the idea of love and war being linked still tied to Aphrodite.

[@mattisvov]

Hm. Interesting observation. You know, it might seem random to have a deity for boinking and fighting. But if I'm just speculating, the common thread of those two activities are PASSION, right? If you want to kill or sleep with a person, you are probably not emotionally distant about that fact. Also note that Ares is the more primal, aggressive aspect of war, as opposed to Athena being the goddess of strategy and tactics.

[@Druid-T]

Is this gonna be a thing? Studying the evolution of the Pantheon and learning why certain ones have specific character traits, 'cause I'm all for that

[@josh-oo]

They've done it for other gods already. Are you new to this channel?

[@InquisitorThomas]

Josh-oo, the Shape-Shitting Master of Dogshit Well they've only really done a video on the in depth origins of Gods for Dionysus and Aphrodite so far unless there's one I missed.

[@josh-oo]

@@InquisitorThomas Thank you for proving my point.

[@najodo5209]

Josh-oo, the Shape-Shitting Master of Dogshit that’s not all of them so your point doesn’t really stand for much

[@josh-oo]

@@najodo5209 I never said it was all of them. I said "They've done it for other gods already.", and then the other guy mentioned another god they'd done it for. He proved my point. Do you and the last guy have trouble comprehending what you've read, or something? You're both speaking as I said something wrong while saying things that prove I'm right, and it's honestly a little confusing.

[@Uldihaa]

All that censoring must have been hell. You must have gotten pretty damn tired of seeing Aphrodite boobs. And damn I love it when you dive in on a particular deity's origins. It must be exhausting, but know at least one viewer deeply appreciates all of your hard work.

[@geminiadastra8662]

Red missed some though.

[@flinko99]

@@geminiadastra8662 Tell me more!

[@goldendemise4105]

@Purerasslin KZbin is really on some shit with demonetization

[@Great_Olaf5]

Me too.

[@Uldihaa]

@Purerasslin Because KZbin is an ass and will demonetize at the slightest excuse.

[@MrJethroha]

I'd love to see a deep dive into Artemis and Apollo, since they both kind of subsumed a ton of characteristics from other gods into themselves. They're also sort of classic counter points to Aphrodite and Dionysus.

[@virginiarailfannoah5415]

Me too.

[@peterk.9571]

Yes

[@entpanimatics8070]

I’ve done it and it’s a doozy

[@virginiarailfannoah5415]

Huh, nice, @@entpanimatics8070.

[@mysteriiis]

Yes please.

[@theenduriangamer5509]

Aphrodite: Goddess of Love and Beauty Asexuals: *Exist* Aphrodite: *So, you have chosen: DEATH*

[@brycevo]

Aphrodite is just like that one hot nerd that loves shipping, sucks at relationships, but is great at advise and protection

[@hopedean6424]

and might also cause drama all the time

[@cassidivah6791]

Bryce McKenzie omgs I didn't know I was aphrodite😃

[@NoHandle44]

300th like!

[@broseidon1658]

I’m a Poseidon.

[@yaoi5987]

@@broseidon1658 STAY BACK YOU UNHOLY BEING

[@michakaminski-pakua2774]

0:58 Eris, the goddess of internet chatrooms

[@diegoernestovarelaparra3820]

she was the original troll.

[@kurithalia1211]

_DISCORD_

[@patrickardagh-walter6609]

@@kurithalia1211 Eris runs Discord in the Riordanverse confirmed 😂

[@kurithalia1211]

*OH GODS,WE ARE CURSED*

[@octapusxft]

Also of the social media

[@Uldihaa]

You know, re-watching this (look, I like it okay), it hit me. It many ways, Aphrodite could more accurately be called a goddess of passion, rather than just love/sex. Love, sex, war, and even politics (at the time especially) could be considered endeavors requiring passion. It even explains her connection to Hephaestus, since craftsmen would also be passionate about their works. When looked at that way, the contradictions kind of fade away. I wonder if the confusion might have been a translation issue? As the cults migrated, they would have shifted languages as they went. So maybe in Cult A, they mistranslated a word that means passion into one that is more frequently used for love/sex, while Cult B kept to the more general translation. I'm just throwing this out there, since I have no research to back it up. But it certainly seems possible, especially when you consider modern language drift due to slang and the like.

[@eclipsemoons6557]

I like that theory.

[@lurker666]

x@@eclipsemoons6557

[@CarmenBrunnaDuarte]

No, it wasn't. "Passion" is any feeling, not only the romantic/sexual one. Is any of our animal urges from deep within, including rage, fear, saddness, joy, etc. Things we supposedly suffer. It's imposed to us by a "higher power" (gods, nature, genes, geniuses, etc.) and we have little or no control about.

[@Uldihaa]

@Mullerornis But cults still need to talk to each other. I'm not talking about written texts necessarily. Spoken languages would still need to be translated too. An Assyrian would not speak the same language as a Macedonian, for example. So in trying to communicate, errors occur.

[@theinimitablejora522]

Genius. That'd also explain why Eros is more specifically about love.

[@sceetherthenadder]

What if Venus adopted Eros? Like she found him wandering around and was just, like, "Oh, child! Why are you wandering around? Are you lost? Where is your mother?" Ero would be like "Um... I... have no mother?" Aphrodite gasps "No mother?! This will not do! I am your mother now!"

[@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527]

So essentially Marie Antoinette

[@sceetherthenadder]

@@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527 What do you mean? Marie Antoinette did this?

[@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527]

@@sceetherthenadder yes. Multiple times.

[@justintime3656]

Venus is so Mother

[@ElizabethGeis]

@@sceetherthenadder She would adopt random orphans, let them live in the palace, pay for them to go to fancy boarding schools, ect. She put two girls through boarding school up until her (undeserved) death. She was actually an amazing person and it's so tragic that the people of France decided to make up all of this propaganda about her simply because they wanted to revolt like the American's just had against the British

[@starlight4649]

Aphrodite: the Goddess of always losing all of her clothes spontaneously mere seconds before anyone paints or sculpts her likeness.

[@justcallmebastard]

I took a mythology class in high school, and apparently almost every statue of Greek deities were like that. The idea was that they were physically perfect/gorgeous, so it would be a crime to cover it up. Just a fun fact

[@starlight4649]

@@justcallmebastard Hey zeus, can I sculpt you in your epic flowing robes? Zeus: sure! (Takes off everything but a laurel)

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

That sounds like something from a Terry Pratchett book.

[@ussinussinongawd516]

but xeus is usually covered

[@ave8685]

Romans: lets flip the switch

[@mo1ya938]

She didn't have a childhood? That explains a lot.

[@Jozenchill]

Talk about the daddy issues while your at it lol.

[@bellringer53]

In a way they are the two extremes. One who is pure maturity and rules, and the other is a immature party girl. (I know this is star from accurate. I'm just using the base impressions of these goddesses so this isnt as long as the video itself.)

[@evansageser6943]

Honestly the only goddesses whose childhood is really emphasized are Artemis, (whose virgin hunter aspect means she’s frequently depicted as a young girl) and sometimes Persephone (often she’s kidnapped by Hades while still young, representing the youthful qualities of Spring.) By contrast many of the male gods have stories about them as youths, though Dionysus definitely has the most defined childhood since he spent most of it as a mortal and adventuring like any good demigod should do.

[@Ando1428]

@LagiNaLangAko23 yeah but she could have gained knowledge while she was in their. I mean most of the gods were in kronos body since birth. They grew up and where knowledgeable. Aphrodite was brought up from seafoam. Dionysus and athena were stuck in zues it doesn't mean they were without knowledge.

[@AyubuKK]

Mo1Ya true

[@somerandomcommenteryoufoun7485]

Asexuals: exist Aphrodite: wait thats illegal

[@grizzlyrider6original70]

Wow Aphrodite.. just wow You may have a point Some Random Commenter

[@legoworksstudios1]

@@threateningfeathers4210 fine by me. Aphrodite has her ships (some of which are on fire) we have hunting and new ways to prepare beef and mutton once we hunt it

[@tobi936]

NOOO I CANT GO BACK JAIL! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

[@vulpinecatastrophe9377]

So the moon is illegal now I guess

[@scotthadden9816]

Aromantics, not asexual. Asexual means you have no primary sexual characteristics, aka genitalia.

[@purplehaze2358]

I see absolutely no problem with Aphrodite being a little..well, confused in terms of personality because she’s a love goddess. Love is incredibly fickle and subject to heavy variation.

[@penofwildfire]

there was a male hunter of artemis? Dang that's freaking awesome.

[@Phoenix_IsRising]

He was one of the few guys who was really awesome towards women

[@SethRGray]

Yeah his mom was an Amazon so that tracks

[@DinsRune]

Dammit, my Percy Jackson OC I made in middle school didn't conflict with canon after all!

[@Darkmythsolider]

@@DinsRune yep!

[@remuslupin1713]

damn i wish i could be a male hunter of artemis, would it count since im ftm... would i be allowed

[@danielthemaniel7461]

"Bath Bomb Ballsack" Quote of the century

[@justsomeguyanimations]

"Zeus realizing there's no save answer to that question, pawns the responsibility off on some random trojan kid." At first I wondered why the head God would even worry about his safety but then I realised that the godesses in question were the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy, his wife, and a godess who's arguably the most powerful in the pantheon as she has power over love and lust, Zeus's biggest weakness Damn. Scariest fucking combo I can imagine.

[@nyetloki]

Zeus wasn't that powerful. Only thing that kept other Olympians from overtaking him was essentially their petty arguments and the lack of motivation.

[@justsomeguyanimations]

@@nyetloki lol. But he was still clearly more powerful than his kids like Apollo. His siblings are probably on par with him in terms of power

[@stephaniekrutzler7895]

Also. He may not have wanted to upset his daughter(athena), wife(hera)(side note she was amazing at revenge!), or his aunt(aphrodite)(I think she is his aunt...thats what I gather from the family tree, as she is the sister of Zeus's father Kronos via the "bath bomb ball sack" story.)

[@elmolovesyou2320]

@@stephaniekrutzler7895 aphrodite is sometimes his aunt and sometimes his daughter. if you go by the ouranos' balls falling into the sea and aphrodite being born from it, that means shes his aunt. if you go by her being the daughter of zeus and dione then shes his daughter.

[@100lovenana]

I agree with the comments above. Zeus wasn't really that powerful, and there's a good reason he would fear Aphrodite since his weakness was very apparent to everyone who knew about his "love escapades". But he was still the king of Olympus for a reason. He was one of the most powerful gods: Having the power over storms and lightning is a very scary thought (we all know that mother nature is scary, and storms are no exception). The only ones I can think of that would oppose him with equal (or more) power would be the Titans of higher rank (at least the ones left alive, like Gea, who is literally goddess of the Earth itself) and his siblings, like Poseidon and his very own wife Hera. (I don't know if Hades counts, he may be the god of the underworld but his powers over death aren't really effective against immortals gods. That would explain why he hasn't stood against Zeus despite disagreeing with him many times.) The one exception to this would be Athena, and there's an entire mythos behind her explaining why despite being so powerful (to the point where she could actually beat Zeus) she doesn't try to dethrone him. It's basically the fact that she's a woman (misogynistic ancient Greece at it again). Apparently Prometheus' prediction (or at least one of them), was that the child of Zeus with more equal power to him would defeat him, and who has more equal power to him than Athena? She was literally born ONLY through him, without any mother (the whole coming out of his head myth). But apparently Prometheus specified that the child had to be a SON, so females were out of the question. This is the card that Zeus and other gods played to tell Athena that, because she's a woman, she doesn't have the right to dethrone him. Her response to this not-a-man counter attack varies from many interpretations of the Olympic mythos. The most preferred one nowadays is that she knew she couldn't do anything because most of the gods were already approving the prophecy that it had to be a male descendant, so if she tried to defy Zeus anyway, she would have a good chunk of powerful gods against her. She knew a war against a bunch of all-powerful inmortal beings would end VERY badly. So she "agreed" to not be the child that Prometheus said would dethrone Zeus, but that didn't stop her from becoming one of the most venerated gods through just intelligence and wits. Many people have theorized that yes, Athena really was more powerful than Zeus, and could've dethroned him anytime she wanted, but she didn't do it because she was smart: She knew she would be outnumbered if she tried to defy him, so she tried to strategically "beat" Zeus by gaining the respect and love of the mortals in numbers, somehow "beating" him in being the most respected god of all. And you could say she succeeded, since Wisdom and War were VERY important for both greeks and romans. Obviously there's way more depth an details to this story, but this comment is already way to long.

[@noxnox-e9s]

Aphrodite: “Which version of my birth story do you want?” Me: “… None?” Aphrodite: “So the bath-bomb balls one, great.” Me: *Confused screaming* Also sidenote that joke killed me 😂

[@Silverwind87]

Imagine if Artemis and Eros got into an argument, like maybe Eros scared away a deer Artemis was about to kill, and then she starts firing arrows at him, and Eros retaliates by firing a heart arrow. Artemis is pierced in the chest, and she's just like "Ow!" Then Eros, realizing that she's immune to the power of love, is all "oh shit" and flies away in fear.

[@mohammedyousef4005]

I want this to be animated NOW

[@Dovey12]

Wait I’ve seen you everywhere what-

[@anarchomando7707]

And that my dear is what we call an ace They're made from the blood that Artemis spilt. And she will protect all of hers

[@Ethan-cz8xq]

Eros should've used the power of friendship

[@arempy5836]

Maybe that's why Artemis never fell in love? She'd never be bested by a lesser archer.

[@emiljosefsson9149]

Aphrodite 2.0: Make love, not war. Aphrodite Areia (AKA "OG Aphrodite"): Why not both?

[@camramaster]

Eros: Chaos damn it mom/neice.

[@BrokenLifeCycle]

(Fiesta music)

[@samueljosephazzaro9664]

Kali: Include dancing and I'm in!

[@emiljosefsson9149]

Shiva: Mommy, fuckin' step on me already!

[@samueljosephazzaro9664]

@@emiljosefsson9149 Hades: You know despite the fact we had a sh*t first date I'm glade we keep this classy Perseph. (Suddenly you see he's wearing a gimp suit)

[@sunlitsol5454]

"She's this fickle, temperamental force that just kind of shows up and causes chaos." So she's love? I mean, that's what love really is.

[@paragamer85]

Honestly, if Paras had picked Athena he probably could’ve ended up with all of the stuff promised to him by Hera and Aphrodite as well if you think about it. 🤔

[@wolfsbanealphas617]

Yeah but it would take time

[@lewisaino]

Yeah LOL Take it by force.

[@godkingtroycalypso877]

If I remember my old literature class correctly, apparently part of the myth said Hera cursed any of Paras' children to be stillborn, and Athena cursed him to lose every battle he fought in. You can probably imagine what Aphrodite would have cursed him with had she not be chosen

[@coltonwilliams4153]

There was literally no way to win in that situation.

[@durrangodsgrief6503]

Probably should have tried a Styx oath before he made a choice

[@owenchafer1083]

"bath bomb ballsack" is a sentence I never thought I would hear.

[@josiahklein70]

Why were you thinking that?

[@TheAnon03]

At least not on this channel.

[@TypicalUkraine_]

Its the best type of bath bomb for guys and lesbians, because when you throw it into the water, not only do you get a spectacular blast of color, you also get a beautiful girl.

[@sourcandie5230]

Same

[@hibak_]

And not regret

[@Arbitor1]

And now "bath bomb ballsack" will forever be in my vocabulary

[@colorado1164]

You know when you climax in a full bath and then your balls becomes a bath bomb ball sack? Hate it when it happens

[@PatrickCervantez]

Sounds like an awesome name for a skater punk band. Too bad it's not 1997.

[@broseidon1658]

Why, thank you. It shall be in my vocabulary too.

[@TObyvruh]

3 words turned into a Amazing word.

[@natasharichards2048]

does anybody else want a full episode on Ishtar? she seems like a total badass

[@nellmorrey5112]

YEA

[@thegardenofesim1174]

Penguinbot 5000 Gilgamesh might attack the channel if they did

[@elogeticethan7790]

yea but ereshkigal

[@slyfox9992]

@@thegardenofesim1174 that's why we have enkidu

[@ohijohnson4259]

She IS a badass! Ishtar using a furious war of WMDs to make Marduk run and cry and hide is one of my faves. I'd love to see a big episode on her and her roots. I think people would be bowled over.

[@jessicakorte]

1:11 if Zeus were anyone but Zeus, the safe answer would have been "my beautiful wife, whom I love and adore" But it's Zeus so no one would buy that.

[@AsianRock90]

16:14 Staying single and refusing to mingle. Sounds like the only plausible way to survive in Ancient Greece. But even that never works. Thanks, Aphrodite.

[@m.ivyluna4632]

Bellgram Or Zeus comes and impregnated you in the form of a sun beam while your locked in a tower

[@alienindisguise5546]

Staying single and refusing to mingle If that were Half of Zeus's lovers then half of greek mythology would be wiped out

[@keiraharter992]

Aphrodite in a nutshell: •SHIPSHIPSHIPSHIP •r/entitledparents •Jealous brosephine Edit: Oh okay this comment is popular now, lemme add to this list •Alright lets start some good old war •Literally ships things so hard, she starts wars •Loyal but also... not? Feel free to comment some others, idk I wouldn’t say my list is very good lmao

[@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec]

The world first shiper who ship stuff before shipping is cool

[@user-kw7mr6xt9n]

Now I'm picturing Aphrodite trying to take somebody's cat for her kid

[@chocolizard678]

@@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec Now I can imagine Aphrodite using her power to take kid's Nintendo switches.

[@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec]

meh okthen No no no, that would be Hermès.

[@KaiTenSatsuma]

+ Pink. Always.

[@FuzzyStripetail]

I am so glad that you kept us all abreast of Aphrodite's numerous portrayals that apparently outnumber the abundance of ancient Greek and Roman paintings / sculptures of nude or mostly nude representations of women / goddesses.

[@charamusicfan]

aBREAST 😏

[@0_Body]

"All is fair in love and war" A goddess of both would be fairest of them all - Aphrodite probably

[@isabellastokes5099]

Aphrodite:*angers if someone doesn’t date or doesn’t have no-no* Me, an AroAce: *nervous laughter* *I m I n D a n g e r*

[@finlynham5841]

Mood

[@scooperdooper4097]

U know ur toast when she glows red and not pink, or comes from the general direction of Sparta

[@red5t653]

@@scooperdooper4097 Aphrodite, fresh off a fuck session with Ares spotting an AroAce: You fucking DARE!?

[@humanasir2250]

Tf is a aroace

[@isabellastokes5099]

@@humanasir2250 aromantic and asexual Aromantic is you don’t feel romantic attraction Asexual being you don’t feel sexual attraction

[@dstinnettmusic]

"Aphrodite Aphrodite aphrodi-eee-teeeeeee THE GODDESS OF LOVE" That bit from the Hercules animated series is forever stuck in my head.

[@zamirazam6099]

Hahaha. Same here.

[@Badghaca]

Me: *avoids love* Aphrodite: *wait, that's illegal*

[@jiakarimloo7947]

H

[@scrubbywubby2694]

haha *same*

[@sofiyasharova6072]

lol me too

[@CharlesUrban]

"Nothing personal, Your Hotness. I just hate disappointing people."

[@smartguy458]

Aphrodite was married to Hephaestus, true, but people seem to forget that she was FORCED to marry Hephaestus when Hera was fused to a cursed throne, that he made as payback for throwing him like he was last week's mushu pork. Not only that, but some tellings say that she didn't really like Hephaestus that much, even though Hephaestus treated her well. So when she started sleeping with Ares, she was bummed out because Hephaestus was always busy at his forge instead of spending time with his wife. Also, she presided over beauty, so she appreciated all kinds of beauty (take the tale of Pygmalion), including male beauty, which, to Aphrodite, Ares was a picture perfect example of. In the end, Ares and Aphrodite were a better match for each other. Also, if anyone knows anything about being an unfaithful spouse, it's Zeus.

[@livanarose2387]

Aphrodite takes the word Shipping wars to a whole other level

[@faith4disney]

*Words.

[@billpariss9559]

I would say that the three types of Aphrodite are more like Aphrodite the Athenian, Aphrodite the Spartian and Aphrodite the Christian

[@taekinuru2]

Scary Terry “You get an aphrodite, and you get an aphrodite! Everyone gets their own aphrodite!”

[@isaaclee3271]

And Aphrodisiac the drug

[@1KahlanAmnell1]

Urania and Pandemos sounds way more cooler man

[@broseidon1658]

I’m down.

[@camerongrow6426]

Wonder Woman's classical origin suddenly makes so much sense.

[@RichyArg]

How exactly? the amazons are athena's crew, and we all know there are few feuds as petty and destructive in mythology as what Athena and Aphrodite had going on

[@taekinuru2]

Wasn’t Wonder Woman once a warrior knockoff of Galatea once? Might have been a fan work.

[@Solqueen86]

A little bit of Dick causes her to go crazy?

[@abner-w-]

@Young Man Originally, aphrodite made Wonder Woman. Or so I remember, I might be wrong.

[@IggyTthunders]

Wonder Woman's original creator was a bdsm fanatic who also invented the lie detector; which explains why her one weakness is being tied up by a guy. lol

[@Belthazor24]

"All is fair in love and war." -Aphrodite Areia, probably

[@sproutkid5936]

Aphrodite is a strange breed of nicegirl and entitledparent.

[@JustSomeonePassingBy]

and the perfect bringer of 'petty revenge' and 'that happened'

[@jascrandom9855]

She's basically Regina George as a Mom

[@kimberlyabbott2767]

And shipper

[@Sparkle8205]

Why does this make me think all the nicegirls/entitled parents decided to become a modern day Aphrodite

[@speaks310]

Why is this so true

[@annawesometheflameingpikac3688]

Aphrodite to the Aromantic Asexual hunters of Artemis: "Am I a joke to you?"

[@fandemusique4693]

Thalia : yes.

[@alienindisguise5546]

Wait which goddess was lesbian I thought it was like artemis or Athena

[@imayhaveasmalldickbut3125]

@@alienindisguise5546 artemis was most commonly regarded as an asexual aromantic virgin. the reasoning for this is that she swore off love and sex entirely, to be a maiden goddess of hunting (and eventually the moon). however, in some versions of greek mythology, Artemis only swore off men... and in fact had many lesbian nymph lovers (one of them being Callisto, who was later turned into the constellation Ursa Major after Zeus shapeshifted into Artemis and tricked her into having lesbian sex with him that... somehow resulted in a pregnancy??). tl;dr: it depends on which myths ur reading and also - no goddesses were really all that explicitly 100% lesbian, i'm afraid. there are heaps of greek stories about homosexual men, but much fewer about homosexual women. callisto definitely, athena was said to be attracted to a girl once, and sometimes aphrodite was said to be a patron of lesbianism/bisexuality, but there's nothing really concrete (although mythology is never concrete)

[@carlosroo5460]

And no a very fun one

[@jadefields9020]

@@carlosroo5460 and dionysus was semi androgenous meaning that he had majority male traits but he also had some female traits that made him distinct from the rest of the gods

[@monsieurromanbedlam5101]

13:25 Yo, what about our homegirl(literally) Hestia? You can't tell me the goddess of domestic life and the hearth wasn't worshipped by everyone, everyone should want a happy home plus didn't the first offerings always go to Hestia first?

[@panicontheargo7034]

Hestia is best goddess prove me wrong

[@lorendaemon7945]

I suspect Hestia got less mythological attention because she never needed to - we have a lot of stability and safety compared to even some of the richest people of the time. Praying for the hearthfire to not go out, for the home to be safe - no one needed to tell anyone else to do that.

[@NightRaven-lh1bf]

Glory to Bastet.

[@silcrow4045]

I literally un-irionicly burn a small portion of my food to sacrifice (started when I read pjo, but now it's custom even tho I'm atheistic)

[@ihopeicanchangethisnamelat7108]

@@silcrow4045 Also atheist but that sounds like a cool appreciation of Greek Mythology. You don’t have to believe in the gods to like the stories.

[@Queen1001N]

Thinking of Aphrodite as a war goddess puts a slightly different perspective on the Judgement of Paris. He has to choose not between three powerful goddesses, but between three powerful WAR goddesses. No matter who he chose, it was going to end in conflict.

[@basilcakes]

Aphrodite: I'm gonna ship it Everyone: Dont please Aphrodite: to late Edit: holy mother how do I have so many likes

[@c4tfsh8]

You could make a religion out of this!

[@TheAustronaut03]

"Amazingly, the Bath bomb Ballsack is the *less* disturbing version of the legend."

[@erikrungemadsen2081]

And now i will have to google the disturbing version of the legend. I am going to regret this.

[@talimbeingaverythriftyghor5967]

*_im quacking like a duck, quack quack_*

[@mechanicalincandescence391]

@@erikrungemadsen2081 I thought it was referring to Ishtar's birth, where her dad bit off someone's balls and started the first mpreg story ever

[@blessiemasancay4818]

@@mechanicalincandescence391 o h god *flashbacks*

[@Amber_Frog]

Wait, what's the other version?

[@tach-uq5tw]

So that's why Aphrodite has that relationship with Ares! Like, doesn't it make sense that the spartans would ship their favourite god and the prettiest war goddess in the pantheon? What if her regular liaisons with Ares are a remnant of those days?

[@Jays6926]

It’s also supposed to symbolize love and war. Femininity and masculinity.

[@4wheal]

Actually the main gods of the Spartans were Apollo and Artemis not Ares. That's not ro say they didn't worship him but he was not there most beloved god

[@arthurdias6860]

@@4wheal seriously? Even with all the *WAR WAR WAR* thingy going on Sparta?

[@night4263]

I believe the Spartans mainly worshipped some other Gods besides Ares Apollo ( Mainly celebrated his festivals and was widely believed to have made the Spartan constitution according to Herodotus ) Artemis ( Artemis Orthia had presumably the most important temple in Sparta ) Athena ( Big cult presence in Sparta ) Zeus ( Worshipped everywhere since he is the chief god of the pantheon ) Kastor and Polydeukes ( they were collectively known as the Gemini in Latin, Dioskouroi in Greek I think )

[@coltonwilliams4153]

Maybe Ares wasn’t the main god in Sparta, but they did have his chained statue in their temple dedicated to him, so he must’ve been pretty damn significant.

[@NotFang14]

Here is a list of almost all the songs used in the video, as well as their time stamps: 00:29 - 00:31 = Kiss from a Rose (cover) - Wake Me 00:32 - 00:50 = Kiss From A Rose (Piano cover) - Seal 00:50 - 1:55, 7:49 - 8:12 = Bang Bang ft. Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj - Jessi J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj 1:56 - 2:07, 5:58 - 6:00 = Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande 2:07 - 2:55 = Tainted Love - Soft Cell 2:58 - 3:13 = Ex’s & Oh’s - Elle King 3:13 - 3:31, 4:01 - 4:10, 7:32 - 7:43, 12:30 - 12:53 = Kissing Strangers ft. Nicki Minaj - DNCE 3:38 - 3:56 = You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi 4:16 - 4:18 = Work B**ch - Britney Spears 4:19 - 5:58 = Lacrimosa - Mozart 6:00 - 6:56 = String Quintet Op. 11 No. 5: Minuetto - Boccherini 6:59 - 7:01 = Confident - Demi Lovato 7:01 - 7:21 = Starfall - Two Steps From Hell 7:25 - 7:32 = Now We Are Free - Gladiator (Soundtrack) 8:18 - 9:05 = The Planets - Mars, the Bringer of War - Gustav Holst 9:05 - 9:20 = The Girl from Ipanema (Can't Find the exact source/artist for the cover) 9:38 - 9:40 = Kiss With A Fist - Florence + The Machine 9:40 - 9:58, 10:13 - 10:27 = Alla Turca “Turkish March” (Sonata No. 11, 3) - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 10:01 - 10:09 = ? 10:27 - 10:29 = Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of…) - Lou Bega 10:39 - 11:37 = Wind Queen - Two Steps From Hell 11:38 - 11:40 = So In Love With Two - Mikaila 11:40 - 12:30 = The Crystal Chamber - Atlantis: The Lost Empire (Soundtrack) 13:03 - 13:45 = ? 13:48 - 13:50 = Run the World (Girls) - Beyoncé 13:50 - 14:03 = ? 14:04 - 15:13 Empire of Angels (Sun) - Thomas Bergersen Credits = Jolene - Dolly Parton (Red Cover)

[@Midnight-zq5op]

Any idea what the song right after 7:32 is? Its for scientific reasons

[@NotFang14]

@@Midnight-zq5op The "Nanana" one? It's up there towards the beginning of the list. "Kissing Strangers ft. Nicki Minaj - DNCE".

[@Midnight-zq5op]

NotFang14 Ah shit, my bad. You’re a legend btw

[@NotFang14]

@@Midnight-zq5op You're alright. And thank you!

[@elysia3294]

Thanks. Was looking for this

[@merrittanimation7721]

I think it makes sense she's indirectly based off of Ishtar. This is the goddess threatened to cause a zombie apocalypse because her dad wouldn't let her take revenge against a guy who rejected her and destroyed a mountain because she thought its beauty was a personal insult against her.

[@KohuGaly]

The best part about Ishtar is how he uses the treat of zombie apocalypse as her default argument, often with massive dose of irony. Like the one time she treated to invade the underworld with zombie army. Or the time when she treated zombie apocalypse on the god that literally killed nearly all humans via a flood.

[@uselesshero.official]

@@KohuGaly could you please show me some proof? I've checked Wikipedia and it says Ishtar went to underworld on her own and made a prank on Ereshkigal, who getting angry pretty much bodied Ishtar. There's no mention of a zombie apocalypse.

[@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec]

Gilgamesh: I bet if she had a favorite gardening tool, it would be a hoe.

[@acupofwhitetea]

@@uselesshero.official sources vary but Ishtar is the one who trespass to either, bring her dead lover back, or to actively invade the place. Both plans failed spectacularly with her needed to be rescued. Red actually did a video about that story.

[@uselesshero.official]

@@acupofwhitetea Hmm perhaps that's how it was. I haven't read the og epic of Gilgamesh but according to Wikipedia it says Ishtar actually had no intention of usurping Eresh and that she went there to make a prank, however Eresh being extra careful was easily ticked off since in the past she has been f**ked by the divine politics quite a few times so couldn't take a change. Dumuzid died after Ishtar returned from Kur/ hell though, because he was kinda unfaithful.

[@waterdog737]

Lesson of the day: She was the Diva of War

[@dontknowdontcare1934]

Fay james more like Gay Blames got em😳

[@turrelictom3013]

If I were Paris, I would’ve gone with Athena’s deal. I’d get smarter and would basically be among the greatest tacticians on the planet. So I’d basically be capable of conquering lands like Europe and Asia with my armies, and potentially getting the most beautiful woman in the world as war spoils. So I’d get everything they all offered.

[@matthewbreytenbach4483]

You'd also get cursed to oblivion by two of the most vindictive goddesses in the Pantheon.

[@sillygoosetaur]

Might go with hera on this one just because i dont want to be cursed by her

[@crhu319]

Dude look up Aphrodite and Hera's wrathful curses & revenge takings. Athena by contrast can just make you lose fights which isn't even evil since all fights have a losing side anyway.

[@406athena4]

Eris: if your not invited to the biggest wedding of the century get revenge by throwing a golden apple at some deities and saying it for the hottest. STREET SMARTS!

[@kyoken8691]

Well you know, weddings are celebrations of the union of 2 people, and in ancient times this could also mean their families and households too. Not inviting the goddess of "discord" might have been an intentional oversight.

[@nerdherder9340]

This Guy Is Getting Married, See. And They Didn't Invite Me. Me! So I Go Over And Use The Bittenbinder Method And Throw A Golden Apple I Carry On Me At All Times. This Distracts The Goddesses And Now I've Thrown Them Off Their Rythm. I Tell Em That Now You're Looking At 10 Years Of War And Thats When I Make My Escape.

[@ameryaser3987]

John mulaney is always like worthy

[@varegogothi803]

Crashin' the party, guess they lost my invention Friendly reminder got my own kinda persuasion Looks like this place could use a bit of misbehavior Happily ever after with a little flavor

[@lolinyolo5641]

r/unexpectedmulaney