Miscellaneous Myths: Hermes

He's fast! He's smart! He should really put on some pants! It's history's most marketable deity, Hermes himself!
(but red, who are those other two guys?)
(shhhhh)
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[@thosegoodbois4594]

Hermes’ mom, looking at her newborn child for the first time: *hmmm, yes, I shall name you: pile of rocks*

[@bobthegamingtaco6073]

It's cuz he ROCKS I'll see myself out

[@kawaiikoffing]

My sibling keeps joking about naming my eevee in Let's Go Haruki which they say means stone but translate says it's spring child. I wouldn't ming if it was stone though

[@DevilCryno]

I mean she did live in a cave

[@pickedceasar1216]

@@kawaiikoffing it would fit

[@cobaltordinaire5219]

@@kawaiikoffing hey, at least they didn't name the Eevee Koishi

[@rojaedavis8367]

*Hermes:* God of merchants *Also Hermes:* God of thieves Great. So he's robbing me both legally and illegally.

[@elizabethshaw7472]

Steals your stuff and sells it back.

[@abby8982]

I call it efficiency at its finest.💀👍

[@hailanluu2169]

So basically Hermes is the God of Capitalism

[@Adriel_Aviado]

😂😂😂😂

[@WinterPains]

Hermes yhe Skyrim propaganda

[@escapismatitsworst8838]

No, but Apollo and Hermes having younger brother/older brother dynamic while Artemis is the oldest sister who thinks both are idiots is absolutely hilarious and somebody needs to write a book about it

[@VoidKing666]

Screenshot time!

[@bi_sky]

omg yesss

[@midnightgamer2088]

Lol yes

[@ponyfairyVania]

And he stole his big brother's snacks. Seems like normal sibling fussing if on a godly scale.

[@danilogondim9300]

Lore Olympus

[@TheDakkaman]

I can’t help but notice nobody’s made this observation yet: Hermes: Arguably the nicest, friendliest, and all-around most helpful of all the Olympians by a significant margin. Also Hermes: Literally murders and skins the first living creature he ever meets besides his mother to make an instrument like a damn sociopath.

[@PolishAxolotl]

Hestia: I'm joke to you?

[@himum3429]

@@PolishAxolotl While she's technically the nicest, it's really only because she doesn't actually do anything. Whether it's good or bad, she kinda just chills and takes care of the family hearth. The Mythology doesn't really have many examples of her going out of her way to do stuff whereas Hermes does have that (sometimes bad but mostly good). He's an active hero whereas Hestia is more of a passive hero.

[@leahsimi7259]

no he ate a cow first then he murdered and skined a turtle

[@elizabethshaw7472]

The fact that Hermes can do that and still be considered one of the nicer Olympians just further demonstrates how messed up the other Olympians were.

[@Mythmasyer4728]

@@elizabethshaw7472 In his defense, he was an infant. So he hadn’t learned animals have feelings yet. Or that’s the excuse I’ve made up on the spot

[@nooneinparticular5256]

When no one was looking. Hermes took *fifty* cows. He took 50 cows. That's as many as five tens. And that's terrible.

[@dreameater8548]

FIVE TENS!!! DAT A BIG LOT O' COWS

[@gayfish9238]

*this is the true meaning of I’m hungry*

[@jonnyofalltrades6620]

Ignoring that I ticked it to 69, *nice*, you can think of that as half of ONE HUNDRED.

[@nooneinparticular5256]

@@jonnyofalltrades6620 I was just making a reference to that one Lex Luthor meme.

[@jonnyofalltrades6620]

@@nooneinparticular5256 oh dear, finally a meme I don't remember

[@Silverwind87]

Hades: My name is also the name of the underworld I rule over. Eros: My name means desire and love. Hermes: ...my name means pile of rocks.

[@gingersummer4005]

This is criminally underrated comment

[@ussinussinongawd516]

Hermes; my name can also mean penis statue

[@aspid164]

@@ussinussinongawd516Here I am, almost 18 year old man laughing at penis joke

[@xxxhero7275]

@@aspid164 ....that’s not that old,still old enough for depression, but not very old.....

[@LightBusterX]

Well... Hermes is always... Rock hard. (Sorry)

[@laurakastrup]

I found it hilarious that my father (a doctor) confused Hermes’ staff for the rod of Asclepius and I had to ask him “do you WISH for your patients to enter the underworld? Hermes is a psychopomp”

[@phoebusapollo8450]

A lot of doctors do steal you money though-

[@ImperatorMatthew]

100th Like

[@ziizification]

To be fair to your dad, I regularly see ambulances and even the odd actual hospital make the same mistake, to the point where I'm pretty sure at least in the US they're no longer distinct from each other.

[@BetaDude40]

@@ziizification According to wikipedia, 62% of professional healthcare organizations in the US correctly use the Rod of Asklepios, while 72% of the commercial healthcare organizations (health insurance and all) use the Caduceus. The quote Wikipedia uses is also pretty cool: "As god of the high-road and the market-place Hermes was perhaps above all else the patron of commerce and the fat purse: as a corollary, he was the special protector of the traveling salesman. As spokesman for the gods, he not only brought peace on earth (occasionally even the peace of death), but his silver-tongued eloquence could always make the worse appear the better cause. From this latter point of view, would not his symbol be suitable for certain Congressmen, all medical quacks, book agents and purveyors of vacuum cleaners, rather than for the straight-thinking, straight-speaking therapeutist? As conductor of the dead to their subterranean abode, his emblem would seem more appropriate on a hearse than on a physician's car." - Stuart L. Tyson, "The Caduceus", in the Scientific Monthly, 1932 Like, wow, god damn. Prophetic even for 1932.

[@potatomo9609]

@@ziizificationit’s syncretism in action!

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

hermes just wanted to pay his rent stop judging him and his 83 jobs

[@loneronin6813]

Man, can you imagine working 83 jobs across the breadth of an entire grouping of city-states, and STILL not being able to pay rent on time? That would be a disaster...or New York City.

[@tenhirankei]

Greek gods pay rent? To Zeus? Or Hera? Hermes might be like "Me pay rent? I've never Hera such nonsense!"

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

Ronin 6 hermes now canonically lives in new york city

[@loneronin6813]

@@iwakeupandboomimaratThat sounds like it would be a set-up for one of those reality show-type deals, the more I think about it lol XD

[@sadforever-jz9ln]

This is great!

[@lenax9798]

Apollo:"Who are you?" Hermes:"I'm you half brother!" Apollo:"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down??!!"

[@gregsnaidoo2711]

I in billion to be exact

[@darkherculeskabuterimon7203]

Well, about 1/2 of Zeus' known confirmed children are women., so...

[@acethepacifist1041]

@@darkherculeskabuterimon7203 so 1 in one half of a billion-

[@darkherculeskabuterimon7203]

@@acethepacifist1041 Bingo.

[@HuneeBruh]

@@acethepacifist1041 so like 1 in 500,000,000

[@toolazytomakeaname1341]

Hermes: *literally just left the womb* Also Hermes: "Oh boy, it's trouble-making time."

[@aethersaltaccount3551]

Hermes seems like the type of kid that in high school would pull the most rad pranks and ALWAYS get away with them.

[@mikesuarez9615]

FR

[@drippylad3973]

FR

[@oliviavazquezrojas7208]

FR

[@seineevee]

FR

[@inneedoftherapy8153]

Literally

[@emanuelstornello8009]

Loki to hermes Loki: who are you? Hermes: i'm you, but faster.

[@francescolombardi3438]

and way more likable

[@joeywarren60]

Loki: Minus this. *ignites Hermes*

[@Talonistrying]

@@francescolombardi3438 oh you little--

[@lol...]

Ah but Hermes didn't give birth to a horse

[@rowknan9848]

Loki: “That’s what all the ladies say too.” “Well, and the men.”

[@swashhustler1326]

Greeks: This year we lost our beloved wilderness god, Pan. Pan: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD! Greeks: sometimes I can still hear his voice... Edit: Top comment? Liked by OSP? Mom, look, I made it!

[@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97]

This is underappreciated

[@scottting-a-kee9677]

I'm dead 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂

[@lbthebookworm2807]

Crap. I forgot what this was a reference to. Can someone remind me?

[@lbthebookworm2807]

Squidward Thank you! ☺️

[@Razie1201]

Kinda how they rolled apparently

[@bankruptedwizard1413]

Aphrodite and Apollo- Kiss it! Ares and Hera- Kill it! Hermes- *Quietly walks in* If I could just... Ya know- *S T E A L*

[@nawarb.4226]

ah yes, every greek god's favorite game: kiss, kill, kidnap

[@august4476]

H e r m i t

[@kusaisama]

Hermes crab

[@pinkajou656]

@@nawarb.4226 YES. HILARIOUS

[@LyssTheCorgi]

OMFG HERMIT

[@paodepota8373]

You know Hermes is the real deal when even Apollo, god of the music and arts, gets addicted to your lyre playing skills.

[@timjim-ks8gi]

He wasn't the god of music until hermes invented the lyre

[@raspberrycrowns9494]

​@@timjim-ks8gi Hermes also wasn't the god of messengers until Apollo gave him the title. It's a nice mutually beneficial relationship

[@colt9836]

​@@timjim-ks8gi In Homeric Hymn 3 (to Apollon), when Themis gives newborn Apollon nectar and ambrosia, he immediately jumps from her arms and states that both the lyre and prophecy shall both be his. "Wait," I hear you say, "how could Apollon say that if Hermes hasn't invented the lyre yet?" Well, one explanation could be that Apollon, as a prophetic god, forshaw Hermes created the said instrument and basically called dibs. Another, which I believe more, is that Greek mythology was a big mess with a bunch of people playing a massive game of telephone. The Ancient Greeks didn't have a cohesive pantheon; we have the benefit of hindsight.

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

"What's the Greek God you see the most influence of in your every day life?" *Me:* "Is it Hermes?" "Wrong! It's Hermes." *Me:* DAMMIT! If I had only known!

[@desdinovaincarnate9703]

Truly the answere is just out of grasp to us plebians

[@PhoenixEnforcer101]

Get it together, *GEEZ!*

[@etherealstrawberry9873]

I find you here too!? P.S 👆

[@Lady_in_Yearning]

Video sponsored by Count Olaf

[@sophiehatter3111]

the better justin y

[@TheRibottoStudios]

Hermes did more as a fcking infant than I'll ever do in my lifetime. Damn what an icon.

[@wombythewizard1673]

Ace Coordinator Mary Well I mean he did have the ressources. Idk about you but I couldn't turn the hooves of a herd of cows by 180 degrees even if I wanted to. Also killing a turtle to turn it into a musical instrument? Not on my personal bucket list.

[@nobertosanchez647]

In that case let their be a sitcom staring Hermes and Mwindo as infants! It might be like rugrats but with gods and demigods! Like and reply if you agree and like.

[@them.]

@@wombythewizard1673 you could turn around a herd of cows hooves if you have enough brute force, a very compact space that was well guarded so the cows don't try to leave, and enough mental instability to maim a herd of cows

[@Flowtail]

Ace Coordinator Mary heh Icon Cause.. cause he shows up as a symbol? Nice

[@Ophiotaurus_AKA_Bessie]

Hey let’s spice it up Hermes did more as a one ☝️ year old then most political parties does under a hundred

[@alexlefay]

I always thought that the Odin = Hermes thing was pretty weird... When Loki is a thing. The whole "mom, I killed my brother's herd, a turtle, created the lyre but trust me, it's all part of the plan! You'll see! Oh, hello brother! Me? AN INNOCENT BABY? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT *wink wink*" screams Loki all around.

[@theholyduck5520]

Loki seems to be a spin-off of Odin's trickster god persona (Odin had a lot of divine functions on his plate), and Loki fulfills the role of the increasingly malevolent trickster. It should be noted that Loki's schemes rarely went as well as Hermes'. Loki in the myths usually had the antagonistic trickster god function of complicating everything, even when he was working for the benefit of the Aesir, on a few occasions simply because he was drunk. He frequently outsmarted himself and was expected to clean up his messes in hilariously humiliating ways, with escalating consequences as he tried to spin events to his own benefit, usually unsuccessfully. This is why he, at various times, had his lips sewn shut, his testicles tied to a goat, was impregnated by a jotun's stallion (giving birth to an eight-legged horse), and was threatened by Thor with grievous bodily harm on multiple occasions. Things turned really bad when he caused the death of Baldur and prevented his resurrection and Odin had officially had enough of his shit, the consequences of which finalized Loki's face-heel turn. Odin's trickster attributes would probably have been viewed as more heroic (like when he seduced a giantess to steal the mead of poetry) and thus more in line with how Hermes was seen. He also spent a lot of time walking the earth in Gandalf cosplay.

[@manmoy4104]

As there are no written records of Loki outside of Scandinavia in the post-Christianized era, it's possible that Germanic peoples outside of Scandinavia probably never worshipped him. Versions of Odin and Freya sporadically pop up in Anglo-Saxon royal genealogies and charms as well as German and Dutch folklore but no sign of Loki anywhere in these regions. So for some of the Romans, equating whatever version of Odin they encountered with Mercury (the catch-all god of basically everything) was an easy decision

[@logosimian]

Loki and Odin are not as distinct as most folks would believe.

[@quinncosm]

Red: Hermes was Pan LGBTQ+, Japanese people, and Spanish speakers: *visible confusion*

[@shanedoesyoutube8001]

Spain, Portugal, and Japan (who got that word from Portugal): WHAT??? IS THE LORD OF DA BREAD?!?!?!

[@alannisalarcon7648]

You killed me whit the "spanish speakers" part 😂.

[@inoli3164]

Any Romantic language: Visisble Confusion

[@oooooooo8970]

XD confirmo

[@burnv664]

Hermes is bread?

[@GioTheVax]

Hermes is the patron god of Barbie Source: Barbie has many jobs and degrees at such a young age

[@hyperkitten2247]

you have 100 likes and i wanna like, but i dont wanna mess it up

[@commandrogyne]

'Barbara Milicent Rodgers: daughter of Hermes' is a Percy Jackson spinoff I would absolutely love to read

[@andreafussaro7384]

GioTheVax 👌

[@bobross3969]

Well, you aren’t wrong...

[@boyojesuschrist4673]

Or miss rabbit in peppa pig

[@Grim_Sister]

Apollo: are you calling it a lyre? Hermes: I’m definitely not calling it a truther

[@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec]

Apollo: You’re despicable!

[@Gooberwares]

Friggen brilliant

[@tynorstrom2761]

its funny because Apollo is the God of Truth

[@cybersearcher1041]

Th is comment

[@sophiahuang7388]

ty norstrom I thought he was the god of reason

[@bejeweledbedhead1551]

10:25 "Tammuz, Tammuz, he's our man! We'll start making funeral plans!" MADE ME LAUGH MORE THAN IT SHOULD HAVE

[@Edmonton-of2ec]

Omg I never noticed this 😭😭

[@DragonxFlutter]

So Sun Wu Kong, Hermes, and Loki smash down the door to a bar and shout “DID SOMEBODY SAY *_MISCHIEF?!?!”_*

[@weesalikesmilktea4829]

Imagine being Apollo and your baby half brother's just been born. You're all like "yeah no biggie, I get a new one of those every other week" but then said baby half brother goes and does the equivalent of raiding your snack stash the day he's born

[@flor2637]

😂😂😂😂

[@luciusvernus3174]

Listen I know,because I am

[@Ledwards007]

And he still comes out as your favourite brother

[@calliopeirwin712]

@@Ledwards007 of course. any child that can steal an entire snack stash at the age of half a day will become a powerful ally.

[@Silverwind87]

Ah, sibling rivalry.

[@imaginethatravens7815]

Apollo: Hey dad, your son stole 50 of my cows. Zeus: Which one? Apollo: The one that was born a few hours ago... Zeus: ... Apollo: Dad, don’t laugh, it’s not funny. Zeus: *dying of laughter*

[@toenailairconditioner7406]

Zeus: Which one? Apollo: The one that was born a few hours ago... Zeus: *Which one?*

[@donovanroundtree524]

Zeus:Come on i have like *7 sextillon sons!!!!!!!!!!*

[@keeva6530]

I mean soon after Apollo was born he just kind of got up and started like singing

[@donovanroundtree524]

@@keeva6530 *LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON :D*

[@donovanroundtree524]

@Kylar Cheng my bad edit:better?

[@KHTimeProtecter]

About the dong situation: Hermes was actually known to be the paragon of masculinity and fertility (makes sense if he’s an offshoot of Pan). In fact, he had a kid with Aphrodite named Hermaphrodite, who’s an intersex being that encompasses both the most feminine traits and the most masculine traits. Notice how the name is a combination of both of their parents’ names. So the dongs make logical sense.

[@Oturan20]

Hermaphroditus was their child's name. Hermaphrodite comes from Hermaphroditus.

[@addiewest6070]

A sentence i never thought I'd read "the dong makes logical sense"

[@user-pq4fc1mc7q]

Did you know, sometimes Aphrodite has a beard. Not the modern image of her is it?

[@Vgn1701]

I just had to read Ovid's Metamorphoses for one of my Classics courses (in Latin) and I wasn't prepared for the violence of that myth; I had thought Hermaphroditus had just always existed as an intersex being in the myth. But in Ovid's version, he was a "regular" male youth (15 or 16yo). A nymph thought him so beautiful that she assaulted him, and when he said no, she went to hide in the forest to stalk him, but when he went to take a bath in a small lake, "her eyes burned with lust". So she assaulted him again and tried to r*pe him, and while he was fighting her in the water, she called upon the gods to grant her wish to be "united" with him. And someone up there took that literally and merged them, and he came out of the well with both male and female characteristics. (The well also turns people intersex now, just for good measure.) So yeah, that's the version the Romans had around 8 CE. It's of course a sort of original myth to explain why intersex people exist. But it was so hard (and triggering) to read ngl. A solid third of Ovid's stories around about r*pe or the results thereof.

[@PieNumber4]

Pan is so rare in this series, he feels like a guest star

[@colecarsten9532]

"Hermes used to be Pan." Well it was Greece, I thought most Gods were- "Now the Greek god Pan-" OH. WHOOPS.

[@iceluvndiva21]

XD is it bad that I immediately thought that a few seconds before realizing what red meant?

[@user-qb6hm8qw2n]

Me, when I hear "pan" before I get the other meaning: The greek god of the wild, Pan! Me after: Some old and usually good greek god but still blah, blah, blah... and MAGNUS CHASE, DUH!

[@soupmayor-themayorofsoup]

Aliksandr *ah yes, my favorite god* *he makes good chikken nuggies*

[@dem0nich0ursuwo60]

Зоя Калайджиева YES MY FAV PAN BOOK CHARACTER

[@Luna-zx1fx]

You're close enough, considering everything before the 1800s CE was either ace or bi

[@marceeprime4029]

Hermes: **is born** Also Hermes: *It's Mischief time...*

[@kabob0077]

Marcee Prime *It's Free Real-estate.*

[@KnittingGirl28]

Ah, but of course the minute you are born is the perfect time to make mischief. They would never ever suspect a cooote widdddle baebae~

[@caseygray2328]

Well he has a lot of time to make up for, after all he spent all that time in his mother's womb

[@mewsingsbynatk]

🎵HERE COMES TROUBLE!🎵

[@coffeewolf5789]

666 likes

[@patrickthornton840]

I always like to think of Hermes as the god of the internet. It's one of the most widely used ways to both trade and communicate these days, so it fits him pretty well.

[@lilj362]

Is this a Percy Jackson reference?

[@gothnerd887]

I'm also certain that like ancient Greece the internet is being divided between the gods. Hecate's domain is Deviant Art but for some reason Nyx and Erebus have control over the video game section of Kickstarter.

[@yippie871]

@@lilj362 Not really

[@blackjoker2345]

It's also one of the most powerful tools of crime humanity has ever invented. It 100% fits.

[@mariustan9275]

@@gothnerd887 Nah I feel like Aphrodite has Deviantart and Wattpad, Ares has control of all the Twitter rants, Hephaestus got those forgong stuff on KZbin, Hermes got Google.

[@unnecessaryjourney634]

Red : Who’s the Greek god you see the most influence of in your every day life? Me : Hermes Red: WRONG it’s Hermes. Me : >:}

[@jonnyofalltrades6620]

There there, you'll get em next time!

[@clockworkpotato9892]

No, you are still wrong. It's heroes.

[@clockworkpotato9892]

*Hermes

[@JohannesVanDerStuyvebode]

Left me no chance and made me chuckle

[@robbiehydrawolf8836]

I was looking for this comment.

[@mootang]

>In the myth of Io, for somewhat complicate reason... It's ok Red, you can just say "Zeus". We understand.

[@benvaughan2171]

I think Zeus is a swear word for Red

[@DerplingKing]

Now let's be fair. Hera was also involved.

[@licasabinaandreea2361]

Yea, but she got involved only cause Zeus got "involved"

[@whoknows7968]

*Deep intake of breath* Zeus yet again couldn't keep it in his pants, Hera went to see what Zeus was doing, Zeus disguised Io as a cow so Hera wouldn't know he banged yet another woman who wasn't his wife but Hera didn't buy this cause duh, Hera has Argus watch the cow *wheezing intensifies* Hermes kills Argus then Argus' dead eyes are put on a peacock which is why peacocks are a symbol for Hera. *Collapses to the floor*

[@merrittanimation7721]

@@whoknows7968 And then Io is chased by a fly all the way to Egypt where she is returned to her human form and marries the king.

[@filipevasconcelos4409]

I really wish the parties i used to frequent were so cool that sharing an anecdote about how a greek god's death was just a colossal misunderstanding would be effective on attracting the good kind of attention.

[@skturbo107]

“For somewhat complicated reasons the nymph Io ends up getting turned into a cow…” Not really that complicated. Like most Greek myths, Zeus was horny.

[@KaiTenSatsuma]

He's the god of *Lyres* and thieves. Eh? eh? I'll see myself out.

[@AegixDrakan]

**GASSSSP**

[@capital1867]

Come back in my friend, with quality content like that you should be praised

[@KitKatHexe]

@@capital1867 I was going to "say see yourself back in here and take your f****** prize"

[@ariesthezodiac7274]

EEEEEEYYYYYY!! 👉🏻👉🏻

[@christianw.509]

That is actually what I though she said in the first place

[@davidchenoweth3457]

Hermes is the first chaotic neutral dnd character. change my mind.

[@csweezey18]

If Hermes is chaotic neutral, then I guess I'm just plain chaotic. ;)

[@bonnesuenos]

Sung Wu Kong. He literally rampaged through heaven and fought everyone just because.

[@lordfelidae4505]

Vio Ani you win.

[@q345ify]

@@lordfelidae4505 hermes is older than sung wu kong although Gilgamesh would seem to fall into the catgeory of chaotic neutral

[@CeCe593]

Kronos?

[@Cheattoe]

“The Dong on a statue is ALWAYS non-negotiable” said every artist everywhere

[@yippie871]

I found this oddly funny

[@lewislake5128]

That is probably why Hermes knew his god abilities the moment he was born. He was originating from old pan, with all the understanding he needed, and carried the original pan’s legacy of trickery probably

[@krausercruz2780]

"DAMMIT ZEUS" Greek Mythology in a nutshell.

[@hadeskingoftheunderworld7010]

Acurate

[@rach3092]

Yup just all of the mythology lol

[@alyssaburda2090]

All the gods (Except Zeus): DAM IT ZEUS! Me: What did he do this time?

[@thronezwei4412]

@@alyssaburda2090 More like "Who did he do this time?"

[@alyssaburda2090]

@@thronezwei4412 Me: Gods, what happened this time?

[@zackovgaming3983]

Apollo:How can you prove youreself to be a great god Hermes:*grabs his lyre* *COUNTRY ROADS TAKE ME HOME TO THE PLACE I BELONG!* Apollo:You we will be a great god

[@scottrauch1261]

Good god yez

[@danielcharland1374]

"Almost Elysium/ West Arcadia/ Olympus Mountain/ Styx and Lethe rivers/

[@leonmercury3732]

I always imagined it as wonder wall during research. Just for personal laughs.

[@Chivi-chivik]

@@danielcharland1374 West Arcadia fits the best 😂

[@grimtheghastly8878]

@@danielcharland1374 life is old there/older than the trees!

[@theoverpreparerlamenters3r436]

"What's the Greek god you see the most influence of in your everyday life?" "...Hermes?" "Wrong, it's Hermes."

[@thatyellowmenace9324]

Hermes is like the main character of the anime 'The Devil is a Part-Timer!' but his title will be "Greek Messenger God is a Part-Timer!"

[@yippie871]

your comment made me happy

[@NeutralDrow]

"Kinda hope you're not dealing with [elemental mercury] daily, but still..." Well, what *ELSE* can I consume to gain immortality?! That damned monkey ate all the peaches!"

[@irsyadsyauqi3105]

Bruh😂😂😂😂

[@XalconKugelBlitz]

Lol

[@troyjardine5850]

Calm down Emperor Chin

[@gregsnaidoo2711]

Try the tree of life it has letters ee I'm sure u can figure it out

[@ShugoAWay]

And all the jars of imortal pills...and like 6 other sources of immortality

[@37fishsticks69]

Hermes:Mom can I be born? Maya:To live your life and help people? Hermes:yeees Actualy steals a bunch of cows like a boss Hermes: Mischief Time

[@gunjfur8633]

A baby talking before birth just reminds me of Kirikou

[@neonayse8803]

I thought it was Maia

[@gunjfur8633]

@@neonayse8803 I have no idea who that is

[@neonayse8803]

@@gunjfur8633 Maya/Maia

[@gunjfur8633]

@@neonayse8803 Ah, yeah. Its Maia, not Maya

[@slugcat6226]

I’m sorry but “Tammuz, Tammuz, he’s our man! We’ll start making funeral plans!” Is the best quote in this video

[@RandoFan415]

Hermes was like the spiderman of greek mythology. The young guy that got popularized around the world with a seemingly more down to earth relatable personality then the others. Lol

[@myriadofcolours9861]

Hermes Fetus Genius Baby Icon Infant King The Gucci of Newborns Okay, I'll stop.

[@wyattunrue5354]

Khano Sera the first one is my personal favorite

[@petermarsella6537]

Lord of the child

[@brettshair3151]

@Gio Anselmo Intal THIS.

[@Darkness-eu1tw]

"The Gucci on Newborns"🤣🤣🤣

[@gianni206]

If you're gonna be corny at least own it

[@hanyuu05]

Red: "What's the Greek gods you see the most influenced of in your everyday life?" Me: "Her--" Red: "Wrong, it's Hermes!" Me: ರ_ರ

[@awkwardbirb5710]

"You were going to say Hera, WEREN'T YOU?!?!"

[@lapisleafuli1817]

@@awkwardbirb5710 *Hercules

[@liv9589]

@@lapisleafuli1817 *Heracles

[@danielneverloses]

@@liv9589 *Alcaeus

[@Ratnoseterry]

😂

[@fionagibson7529]

When the Herms transition screen came on and that song started playing, I happened to be drinking water. Before now, I never fully believed that you could shoot water from your nose by laughing. That was perfect.

[@justafallperson2108]

It's possible. Red's videos have many victims.

[@Kelaiah01]

Theory/Headcanon: Hermes' first act being "to annoy Apollo" was to gain Hera's favor. After all, Hera hated that Leto was going to have children by Zeus and tried to kill Leto and her offspring, and later Apollo killed the serpent sent by Hera to kill them. So I imagine Hera would be pretty salty about that... here comes along *another* illegit child of Zeus, only this particular one is stealing from/annoying Apollo, so she decides, "Meh, this one's alright."

[@BoostedMonkey05]

That wouldn't work because Hera is the goddess of marriage and family and a bastard son of Zeus' affairs while married to Hera wouldn't fit well to her domain and her personality.

[@Kelaiah01]

@@BoostedMonkey05 Hera had no problem with Perseus, another bastard son of Zeus. She never once made trouble for him, and even helped him indirectly at one point during his quest. It seems there is the rare occasion when Hera is willing to look the other way.

[@BoostedMonkey05]

@@Kelaiah01 because perseus was perfect. Boy was loved by everyone up on olympus that he was showered with boons to get to his legendary status

[@ninamermaid5467]

Or maybe is because of his mother, Maya, it's said that Hera was amazed by the intelligenge and beauty of the titaness/goddess. Also Hera could have thougt that she shouln't mess with hermes for being able to outsmart Apollo even when he was a baby and the messanger and thieve god. Maybe he was the only bastard that was a real trheat if she did anything to upset him.

[@Kelaiah01]

@@ninamermaid5467 Also fair. XD

[@isabellareny3359]

Greeks: Tammuz says great god Pan is dead! Pan: quit telling everyone I’m dead! Greeks: sometimes I can still hear his voice

[@1Wintersoldier]

@@pumpkinpixie9677 The Percy Jackson books shouldn't be taken for fact and the same as the mythology. Things were changed to make stuff more interesting

[@soldiaz7261]

Pumpkin Pixie Did you just... Did you just say Rick Riordan is more of an authority than mythological scholars and the mythos itself...?

[@evilproductionstudios9659]

Isabella Reny pan: because I’m right here dumbos!

[@berengustav7714]

@@1Wintersoldier Considering how we can't be sure which myth is the original,and a bunch of ancient writers had thier own takes,years from now,Riordan's takes will be considered part of the Mythos itself,and that's okay.

[@jamiepollard7857]

Romans: Odin is Hermes! Loki: am I a JOKE to you?

[@frodoswaggins3132]

Odin was far more of a trickster than other head gods like Zeus and capital G God.

[@yourfriendlytaxonomist]

@@frodoswaggins3132 Dude... Odin wasn't a trickster near as much as he was a destructive deity like Zeus.

[@charlottekraker4152]

Darkrai Killer Odin tricks people all the time

[@jacobandrews2663]

@@yourfriendlytaxonomist Odin is a god of general cunningness, wisdom, mad power and was usually worshiped by the ruling class

[@marloyorkrodriguez9975]

Odin is also a traveler

[@Frontline_view_kaiser]

2:18 I love the look of the Hermes statue after making a fool of Apollo Its like "Get a load of this simp"

[@pan_bacchanal]

I absolutely love how the word "shenanigans" describe so well all wild and weird shit that mythical god are doing all around, being as creative as they can

[@emper1on]

Apollo: Hermes: *hands lyre* Apollo: Friendship ended with cows lyre is my new best friend

[@agungpriambodo1674]

basically bribing your half brother

[@epicfail7874]

@@agungpriambodo1674 no that's literary what happened

[@iluvchess14736]

"And is unsurprisingly the son of Zeus, like roughly 7% of Ancient Greece" Truer words have never been said

[@corvusnocturne]

and yet still room for improvement, its more like 70% of ancient greece

[@Chokah]

There's a reason for the joke that like 75% of Greek Mythology is basically "Zeus was horny, hijinks ensued."

[@fionagibson7529]

The dude was the Greek Myth equivalent of Ghengis Khan. It’s honestly surprising that he was supposed to rule the gods when he can’t keep it in his pants for ten seconds.

[@ambrosic_shifter8947]

Yoo 666 likes!

[@autisticdancer]

Only 7%? I would have thought it would be at least over 10% lol.

[@MoonClawx]

I like that Hermes was said to be Odin, when in reality he'd be more like Loki, but Loki would love to seen as actually Odin, so makes a lot of sense.

[@huldrrrr9486]

Hermes + Loki + Sun Wukong = the holy tricker trinity (and best bois)

[@mikesuarez9615]

LOL

[@mohammedyousef4005]

We're all gonna die

[@ang1759]

"What's the Greek God you see the most influence of in your everyday life?" Im guessing Hermes. "Wrong, it's Hermes." ...

[@francescolombardi3438]

It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws I T ' S N O T

[@PabloNavarrete5780]

We’ve been tricked, we’ve been backstabbed, and we’ve been, quite possibly, bamboozled

[@godofnerds761]

@@PabloNavarrete5780 RvB references, nicee

[@Gojiragon]

Pablo Navarrete I’d even say smackledorfed!

[@bachpham6862]

My favorite culture story regarding Hermes: In most Western, and Western-influenced traditions, the Rod of Asclepius has been the de-facto representation of healthcare, medicine, healing, ... from the Greek god Asclepius. The rod itself is extremely similar to Hermes' Caduceus (or at least the artistic representation of it) with the exception that the rod only has 1 snake and no wings. However, for some reason, when it was imported to the US, they mistakenly took Hermes' caduceus and used it to represent healthcare-related services and a lot of US still have this misconception and confusion. Given that US is one of the only developed country to not have a fully nationalized public healthcare, this mistakes turns out to be hilariously cartoonishly ironic. Hermes is the patron God of not only commerce, finance and money but also the God of liars, thieves and mischief and his iconic symbol is plastered all over the US healthcare industry somehow is the most beautifully on-the-nose representation I have ever seen.

[@Jo-sv9io]

This is a criminally underrated comment

[@Hello-og7os]

Hermes' caduceus is on the logo of our Department of Health... twice. We're a former territory if the United States. I want to cry.

[@michaelabbott5999]

If I read a book with fictional gods and saw this scenario I would think it was the lasiest metaphor ever

[@satanadev8990]

that hurts that really hurts

[@Maplestarknight]

Did Hermes/Asclepius fucking curse us for using the wrong staff with a snake on it. Is that why American healthcare is still so nightmarish.

[@Manda_Kat]

Historians: Pan is dead. Pan: STOP TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD! Historians: Somedays, it's like I can still hear his voice

[@twojuiceman]

This is one of my favorite OSP videos. Lots of people know the mainstays of Greek mythology (read: lots of people have read Percy Jackson) but studying the origins of the myth is _much_ more interesting in my opinion. Homer and the other Greek poets wrote stories about gods and heroes that were already well known in their day. Why were they well known? Where do these ancient ideas come from? Where and when were they created? Why were they created? What do they represent? How were they worshipped? What can we learn about the people who worshipped them? Ultimately the attributes that people chose to deify can tell us about what they valued. People don't tell us about the gods; the gods tell us about people.

[@niserresin2006]

The Aphrodite, Hades and Persephone, and Dionysus vids all have similar histories of gods.

[@DefNotThePope]

If Hermes singing "Country Roads" sounds like Red's cover of it, I completely understand how he instantly gained Apollo's approval.

[@KitKatHexe]

the moment I heard that cover I instantly came to the comments to see if anyone had said anything about how amazing it was because hot damn

[@SonsOfLorgar]

Yup, Red has a singing voice that'd probably make certain greek godesses jealous...

[@kittymeowmeow7097]

Me taking Spanish:... Red: "Hermes used to be...pan." Me: NO WAY, he used to be BREAD?

[@sjargo11]

It is in fact also the Japanese word for bread (パン) “pan”

[@skyew.3939]

It also sounds like the French word for bread - pain

[@cjkelly7536]

@@skyew.3939 Weird. It's not like bread brought pain in France. (BTW That's sarcasm)

[@wooyeah1738]

I was kinda like HIM TOO, and then I was like, shit she meant the god.

[@shockingheaven]

And that may be why the movie Pan's Labyrinth is called El Laberinto del Fauno, not El Laberinto de Pan.

[@vladlena72]

I love the word "shenanigans” refering all wild and weird shit olympians gods are doing (especially when they young), it fits sooo well

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

4:54 "Literally legendary dong", "Sex and fertility" so THAT'S why fauns are sometimes portrayed as insufferable horndogs. *_-Usually by furries-_*

[@tyrantking9000]

"Hermes was Pan." Me: "Hermes was pansexual?" Red: "Pan the character."

[@brittanywetherill472]

Honestly... probably both?

[@ryangrear3430]

@@brittanywetherill472 definitely both

[@ihavekalashnikovyoudomath9275]

@@ryangrear3430 Pan was the sex deity

[@CJCroen1393]

I mean Pan was pansexual so maybe Hermes was too!

[@serenatheturtle4355]

@@CJCroen1393 if Pan wasn't pan I would've quit this universe

[@GodzillaFan8889]

Nobody: Not a single god: Hermes: M I S C H I E F T I M E

[@IceQueen975]

Me, thousands of years later: DO A FLIP, MY THEOI! Pretty sure that's why He did it. XD

[@spoontheguy5397]

o h w o u l d y o u l o o k a t t h e t i m e

[@dearthofdoohickeys4703]

If nobody said nothing, that would mean everyone was talking. Think it through next time.

[@BigAmericanGirlFan]

It's hilarious that as Hermes is the god of athletes and thieves, both the Flash and the Rogues (Captain Cold, Trickster, Mirror Master) fall under his jurisdiction.

[@templarw20]

One of the very short list of things I didn’t hate about the Percy Jackson movies was them casting Nathan Fillion as Hermes.

[@BigAmericanGirlFan]

Fitting, since Fillion eventually played another famous thief in a fan film later who had a run in with a secret society that is based on Hermeticism in one of his games. What a small world, isn't it

[@this.weird0820]

Hermes: *looks at Apollos cows* Hermes: *_I THINK IM BOUT TO STEAL_*

[@demonguysayshi2666]

Everyone: hermes how are you so famous? hermes: the secret ingredient is crime. and speed. A lot of speed.

[@randoeinyoutube3321]

Hermes steal? *NO DIGNITY*

[@brennacomstock2602]

“Or just read the Percy Jackson books” *sweats nervously in Percy Jackson fan *

[@fictional-girl_05]

sad happy meal Same

[@BladeWild2319]

Lol same

[@elizathesimp]

Me to

[@carolferrao1415]

Damn, the Percy Jackson books (and Percy Jackson’s Greek Gods) taught me SO MUCH about Greek Mythology and references to it!!💙I don’t care if some people don’t like its accuracy, this saga taught me and introduced me to the world of the Greek Gods in such an incredible way! Rick Riordan is an amazing teacher!

[@fiashlightyear9004]

@@carolferrao1415 bruh you mean dam lol

[@aj.judge09]

Red: theres that goofy anecdote you can share at parties Me: are you suggesting I get invited to parties?

[@hetrosjistin4837]

The reason why the dong was non-negotiable (as described to me by my roman history teacher in uni) was that one of the things Hermes was the god of was the god of intersections, including the 'intersection of man and woman' and the dong was the representation of that on the cross roads markers.

[@picklequeen9795]

I get it Red. Sun Wukong is literally my favorite character ever.

[@orphicurania3295]

Same

[@jacksonmurphy8169]

Same

[@sisiissiisslsosioss4621]

Same

[@Boothills_fuelpumphole]

Same

[@toni_macaroni8291]

Use me as a "same" counter

[@keithkania3810]

Ancient Greece: Boy we have a pretty cool reli- Rome: *DID I HEAR R E L I G I O N* Ancient Greece: *OH SHI*

[@voivodadracula1936]

Greek Hellenism: * exists * Rome: hey nice religion, can i take it? Christianity: * exists * Rome "aww $hit, here we go again..."

[@TheKirbylore]

***This is mine now***

[@inanjarif1388]

Rome: *_OOH A NEW ONE ABOUT A GUY GETTING NAILED TO WOOD! ME LIKE IT!_*

[@blossomvines341]

Rome: Sees another religion Rome: *It’s* *free* *real-estate*

[@chunghung7951]

Sir Doggo Rome:REEEEEEEEEE LIGION

[@watchingtheworlduk5253]

"Hope you're not dealing with that daily" *cries in chemist*

[@nodmyhead6198]

2:14 -So Hermes is a Slytherin is what I'm getting. Or atleast, Slytherins would probubly have an affinity to worshiping him.

[@Anthintendo]

“Take me home, Country Roads To the place, where I belong Arcadia, Mountain Olympus Take me home, Country Roads”

[@aneesh2115]

You are misguided , all roads lead to roma ROMA INVICTA

[@loneronin6813]

@@aneesh2115 Since Rome was in fact not built in a day, how long did it take to build the roads leading to it? :P

[@aneesh2115]

@@loneronin6813 3 take it or leave

[@loneronin6813]

@@aneesh2115 All jokes aside, I think we can all agree that Rome performed a lot of technological feats that are still impressive to this day given the time they were made in so I'm certainly not one to complain :)

[@neine999]

Mount Olympus is in Macedonia tho

[@ArachCobra]

So Pan got killed by ambiguous syntax. That's new.

[@wisewillow7530]

i like to think that pan himself told everyone his dead as a tricky joke but it backfired.

[@iamRageTheWolf]

i mean they say words have power

[@markmayonnaise1163]

@@iamRageTheWolf The pen is indeed mightier than the sword; the former killed a god!

[@Lord_Of_Night]

@@markmayonnaise1163 And considering fiction works in general, I'd imagine a lot of literature killed gods. Lol.

[@avataryangchenbl9706]

Zeus: YOUNG MAN COME BACK HERE BEFORE YOUR GROUNDED! Hermes: *WELL I DIDN’T ASK TO BE THE GOD OF RANDOM SHIT NOBODY WANTED TO BE THE GOD OF!*

[@15oClock]

Hermes is also often mistaken for his son with Aphrodite, Hermaphroditus, who originated the term hermaphrodite. It's awkward at family gatherings.

[@BlackSwordMeister]

So Hermes is basically the Bugs Bunny of the Greek Pantheon?

[@Yora21]

Yes.

[@dknight248]

And that's why Bugs Bunny's catchphrase is "What's Up, Doc?". It's a subtle homage to Hermes' caduceus, which is the symbol of modern medicine, i.e. 'Doc'tors. ;-)

[@briciolaa]

@@dknight248 NO WAAAAY im so into this

[@adiraiju9336]

@@dknight248 I don't know if that's true or not, but I WANT to believe it.

[@lordofthelosers1855]

YES THAT IS SO TRUE!!!!

[@nobertosanchez647]

“What’s the Greek god you find the most influential in your life”? “Wrong, it’s... Dionysus”.

[@themostbritishpersonalive868]

@Devere Myer I'm not "absolutely hammered" I'm religious

[@sticks4632]

@@themostbritishpersonalive868 im not an alcoholic im just really devout

[@IcestormTundra]

Dionysus, Hermes and Apollo would be a hellish superstar trio of nonsense and shenanigans.

[@themostbritishpersonalive868]

@@IcestormTundraApollo: answer us this mortal Dionysus:which one of us has the bigger shlong Hermes:it's really an easy question

[@lolballs2790]

I don’t think that’s good

[@krystaljava6128]

10:50 why does Hermes look like he's blaming someone for doing something?

[@cookubanana]

Let us not forget also that the most famous Speedest super hero are based on Hermes/Mercury. The original Flash himself (The Jay Garrick one) used Hermes's helment as part of his design.

[@Taiyama2]

My Therapist: Original Pan can't hurt you, he doesn't exist. Original Pan: 7:06

[@Bluecho4]

Therapist: He can't hurt you, he's dead Pan: Is alive, and also _TWO_ gods now

[@alecchristiaen4856]

he looks like Wilbur Whately from Red's vid on lovecraft

[@JustNierninwa]

10:15 original pan: not only am i not dead but i've split in two Also, seriously *Péh2usōn is pretty cool. Can we also link Rowan trees to him? That'd be great. Cause like, it's found all around the world and has been associated with boundaries since at least the Celts?…

[@tilly4273]

Not gonna lie, was really hoping "The Herms" was just a really sick nickname for Hermes.

[@Mythonaut]

Qu Ja Never too late to start that up

[@CreatimationStudios]

4:27 I fr thought Red meant Pansexual until I pieced together that she was talking about a god

[@clottedscream]

Fun fact, Hermes is also central to the religious philosophy behind alchemy, which is called Hermeticism. Which, extra fun fact, also means you’re kind of performing worship of him every time you read tarot.

[@Chonk_enthusiest]

Alchemy doesn't have a religious foundation, it has been used throughout history in religious context but it's always been just about understanding how the world and body interacts when put together. Hermeticism is also so much younger then alchemy, it came about as people looking back on ancient texts on medicine and thought as well as rural practice which were all covered under asclepius, hermes and thoth, they then merged them into one god. Also Tarot has nothing to do with anything, I'm assuming you got that from the famous art for the magician card, but tarot didn't exist until hermeticism was on its way out from scholar circles and was a practice for lower classes not those that had the opportunity to read about the hermetic arts.

[@balamugunthbalaji8110]

Hermes: god of boundaries and borders Also hermes: requires all statues to constantly be showing their junk to people

[@when7573]

its a brilliant system if you think about it. nobodys ginna touch your land if you slap a bunch of penis statue everywhere

[@2MeterLP]

@@when7573 Its the ancient version of "trespassers will be prostituted"

[@greywalker505]

@@2MeterLP Thanks for making me wheeze.

[@greywalker505]

Funny how boundary-markers show no respect for personal boundaries.

[@Silverwind87]

Well, he's also the god of... lyres.

[@spoontheguy5397]

Hermes playing country roads on the lyre/guitar while riding on top of a car/train/Charon’s ferry across the Styx.

[@uzazi2043]

HadesTown references anyone?

[@jilliansdustychair6499]

Why can I hear that so well?

[@virginiarailfannoah5415]

That would be cool.

[@sarahcole9661]

Fun fact, after Argus’ death, Hera took his eyes and placed them in the tail of a peacock, giving the bird its distinctive bling and also making the entire species sacred to Hera in the bargain

[@LunDruid]

So the whole Healthcare association is based on a misunderstanding... *and* the idea of Pan being dead is *possibly* based on a misunderstanding... Given that one of his primary domains is deception, that actually fits extremely well. XD

[@justinm.9426]

Red: What's the greek god you see the most influence of in your everyday life? Me: Hermes? Red: Wrong it's Hermes Me: Dammit

[@eyrist1369]

s o close

[@PizzaManager101]

for me it’s dionysus

[@peffiSC2source]

Hermes: fanfic of a reboot. Romans: Hold my wine

[@queenalice7483]

Red: Hermes and Romans both have an M and S Also Red: Coincidence? I THINK NOT

[@earthdust00]

My cat is named Hermes. I call him Hermz for short sometime. Nice to know I'm calling my cat a pile of rocks 😆

[@danny_boii_____]

MEDIA HAS LIED TO ME AGAIN. I thought Hermes was a good boy but he turned a turtle into a muscial instrument like 5mins after being born

[@Salemwaaa]

Mortal Women: Zeus: CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF!

[@EmilioReyes_97]

*I MEAN I COULD BUT WHY WOULD I WANT TO*

[@gumballz.9259]

More like, "can't keep my D*** to myself"

[@KnightsWithoutATable]

@@gumballz.9259 "If it becomes dry, the world ends! At least, that's what I say when the girl is iffy about it" -Zeus

[@privatepessleneck]

estrus cycles: *exist* Greek Gods: "Its free real estate."

[@lady_sir_knight3713]

CAN'T KEEP MY -HANDS- DICK TO MYSELF!

[@adumbooctopus1115]

5:35 Everyone: It says Panic Me, an intellectual: PANK

[@Sam-bp2dg]

I'm laughing my ass off, 'pank' means 'broke' in Swedish

[@corylusbluefox9482]

@@Sam-bp2dg Well, I guess that makes sense. I tend to panic when I am broke.

[@Bluey306]

i need this to be the top comment very badly

[@connordillivan452]

What’s it called when Pan goes out dancing? Panic at the Disco 😁

[@dwiariismurini7544]

I thought that as well!