Mom's Tactics: Why I Questioned Dad's Love | 4 Revealing Insights

[@marthawelborn3077]

Madison, I have so much respect for you AND your dad. I can only imagine what it was like for you and him when you were growing up, but things are WAY better now. As one of my dear, deceased friends would say, "Thank you, Jesus."

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

Thank you so much, Aunt Martha :) my relationship with my dad is so important to me, and I just can’t believe I didn’t see the truth sooner. Love you!

[@georgiakritikos4955]

Me t00❤

[@slicklicks4468]

@@TheAnti-AlienationProject thank you that’s very encouraging. As a dad that was made to believe that his daughter has got way more important things on her mind than wondering about her dad.

[@rootintobeing]

I think the jealousy could also be her being jealous of his relationship with you versus her relationship with you. In order to "win" she had to take him out of the equation. It's all so heartbreaking.

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

I think you’re right

[@johnrubio330]

Exactly!!!

[@DigitalLazarus]

Hello Madison and greetings from London. I am a targeted parent of an adult child who is in early 20s and has been alienated since the divorce at age 14. They have now fully ghosted me for 2 years and counting. Finding you on KZbin has afforded a new sense of perspective and hope in the way I cannot even describe. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

[@MVGaming621]

My daughter will be in your same position later down the road(maybe she is now). Her mom has made these past 10 years the most difficult time for my daughter and myself, I never thought being a parent would look like this..

[@jamescalkins6069]

Same here but going on 3 years. My daughter is the oldest (now 14) with 2 younger brothers

[@y.a.p8951]

it's beyond imagination.

[@nisenor5059]

Madison.. I am so thankful for your bravery to speak up on this issue and the impact it had on you as a child. Your insight is valuable and needs to be heard. I am extremely thankful for you for doing so. Stand tall... you're a strong and brave woman.

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

Thank you so much

[@KC-jr6zs]

All of these reasons associated with narcissism. A non gender related disorder. I'm wondering how these parents can get some good therapy without putting everyone around them through hell? Especially when they're aging. My mother in law is 87. I can tell you some experience's. Right on Madie. Agree completely. Yes, I can relate with my own mother and family. Survival mechanism, true. ✨🍀🙏💗

[@DrStephenTee]

Before it starts: Benevolent: anxiety. Malevolent: revenge.

[@georgiakritikos4955]

Revenge ❤belongs t00 God🎬🎥💯

[@victimpreventionproject]

@@lilli-beth Romans 12:19 in the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible says, "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord". ..... 👑🙌 The psalm you're referring to also describes four promises that God gives to his people: Relief from troubled times, Eventual punishment of the wicked, God's faithfulness, and The triumph of righteousness. The psalm is a cry for justice against the wicked, but it trusts God to bring justice, rather than the psalmist taking matters into his own hands. In the very same Psalm you wrote to prove "God's requesting aid in vengeance" is not what's going on here. First, it isn't the Lord speaking but rather the writer making the request to God as it states in Psalm 94:1 right out the gate, the writer says, "Psalm 94:1 begins with "O Lord God, to whom vengeance belongeth; O God, to whom vengeance belongeth, shew thyself..... Reread the chapters and you'll change your viewpoint and hopefully retract your presumptuous assumption that Georgiakritkos4955 doesn't know what the word says and is doomed for hell? Be careful with that! Their only wrongdoing was not quoting the verse as it clearly tells us to NOT avenge ourselves. 📖 It is written! God bless!❤️🙌👑

[@victimpreventionproject]

@@georgiakritikos4955 Amen! 🙌👑💕 "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord" appears in the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible in Romans 12:19 and Deuteronomy 32:35. The verse reads, "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord".

[@JulietaRushford]

Keep sharing your story. It is powerful and people need to hear It. I'm sorry you've been through this nightmare.

[@zookeeper510]

My ex's first cousin recently confirmed what I've always suspected: My ex is sick and twisted woman who has chosen to blame me for her life not working out the way she fantasized. Instead of taking responsibility and ownership for her own life, she blames me, hates me, and has done quite a bit to destroy my relationship with our children. She HATES that I've moved on and created a life for myself despite her alienation. She's probably incredibly jealous too. And not surprisingly, she's managed to convince school administrators, our children's therapists, some of my own siblings, clergy, etc...

[@maggierothney3098]

Related to your number 3: "She was seeing dad love you in a way he wasn't loving her." Spot on!! It also made me think (based on my partner's current alienation from his teen sons) was that mom always was the boss of everything. She planned everything, scheduled everyone, was the connection to all family and community, decided which activities they would and wouldn't do.... for kids and husband. I think she alienated partly because she didn't want anyone to find out that Dad wasn't actually the completr inept idiot she liked to pretend he was, and that he could parent successfully without her.

[@dr.marnihillfoderaro1064]

Madi, thank you for making this particular heartfelt video. You put a lot of thought into analyzing the reasons you believe your mom alienated you from your dad. This is so critical to your healing. You are spot on. And yes, jealousy plays a role. The alienating parent hides their fear and low self-worth by demanding alignment and insisting that you cut off the other loving parent. Just like you said, if your mom could just let you have a healthy relationship with your dad, like she did with your brothers, you might be able to have both of your parents in your life. The abusers lose in the end, and it is often by their own doing. Their true colors are eventually exposed… by themselves! It took me until my 60’s and after being alienated from my own children, to figure out how one of my parents alienated me from the other, who has sadly long since passed away. I have now chosen to step away from that alienating parent even though they’re in their 90’s. Even though it can take a lifetime to connect the dots, it’s never too late to take a stand for what is right.

[@djones1379cleo]

Many smarter than me said that if the alienated child does not get help their odds of being a target parent increases. I was the target parent. I wish you well.

[@TyMan922]

Narcissists are gonna narcissist

[@georgiakritikos4955]

Court ASSISTED 🎬🎥💯Is a+ SYSTEMIC PROBLEM

[@johnrubio330]

💯💯💯

[@LisaMcGraw-ib7rj]

Always ...one way or the other

[@LauraGriffiths-ov4vq]

No, Madison, had your mother been acting within normal range (angry and sad over the divorce w/o putting the kids in the middle), you would have never rejected her. However, once a narc, always a narc. Not all narcs are alienators, but all alienators are narcs. Team Healthy, as Dr. Les Carter says. He's another awesome one to follow. He is an expert on alienation, and he's done segments on parental alienation.

[@tammylea]

As usual, spot on, Madi!!! There is definitely jealousy, and the fear of abandonment fueling the alienation of our sons from me. There is also the alienator's perceived competition. EVERYTHING was always a competition (with him). It is so sad that "children" are not allowed to have relationships with both parents in these situations. I am still strengthening and growing my relationship with our oldest son, while continuing to pray my "baby" someday let's me back in...😭 Keep up the great work, Madi! While I know this is very difficult at times, vulnerability is strength! Keep sharing your story as a way to heal yourself, and help others! I am SO proud of you and your entire team!!!

[@MOMMIES_BASEMENT.SINCE.1992]

In this situation the kids should be alienated from the alienatiors/enablers for their own good. And as long as the other parent is stable and willing, they should be awarded full custody. No question. So, I don't agree that these kids should have a relationship w both parents. Maybe u meant it that every kid in general deserves a relationship w both parents. Maybe I read it wrong.

[@tammylea]

@THUG.LIFE.MR.THUGGER our sons are adults, and should make their own decisions at this point, without the negative input of one parent or the other. However, when one is completely oblivious to the abuse, manipulation, and control...I just want our sons to be educated so that they can protect THEMSELVES.

[@MOMMIES_BASEMENT.SINCE.1992]

@@tammylea sure. They should make a choice. Life is full of choices. But to not pull away from your parent who doesn't love u and has proven that from years of using u as narcissistic supply along with preying on ur relationship with ur other parent, would be a bad choice. But yeah, ur absolutely right, they should be left alone to make their own choices in life concerning this as long as they're old enough and have been presented with the truth. And if they choose the lane of disrespecting themselves, then hey, God bless em.. On with life. That's my attitude.

[@tammylea]

You can't pull away when you are not in a place of having recognized what is happening. That doesn't magically happen at a certain age, and unfortunately, statistics show that many adult alienated children never do figure it out. All I can do at this point is pray someday that will happen, and be here with loving open arms to cushion the fall, because it WILL be devastating if he ever comes to that realization. 😭

[@y.a.p8951]

​@@tammylea completely agree with you. I wouldn't want to cut off half of who she is nor hurt her same way they do to us. Kids grow healthy only when you have their best interest at heart even if that mean you lose sometimes.

[@pjsatc]

I believe these are the exact same reasons my ex has alienated my daughter...exact. same.

[@andysheepleton]

The Alienation of Children from Fathers is in a huge percent of cases is a highly organized practice. There are people who engage in this professionally.

[@Peanut21-qu3mt]

I think you're right. And all the people who join in, be it courts, lawyers, schools etc

[@djones1379cleo]

Thank you for sharing. My daughter is 23 and son is 19. My story is long and extreme like many, unfortunately. It helps to hear your perspective.

[@johnrubio330]

💯 SPOT ON! Your description of what happened to you sounds exactly like the “Blue Print” the X used on our daughter. What a nightmare to deal with, while I was married to our daughter’s mother.

[@JZInCR-qb1rs]

How can my daughters see this video? And would they even watch it or believe it? It is so accurate. Thank you for your work!

[@marcynaivar7843]

I wonder the same thing with regard to my stepdaughters? My husband’s ex has abused them with alienation for 10 years. They are now 19 and 20. There’s been a complete cutoff for almost 3 years now. We don’t know how to get them this information so they can hopefully start figuring it out! Madi do you have any suggestions? One of the girls’ names is Madi. 😢 @theantialienationproject

[@bobrijs8329]

This behavior probably originated as a survival strategy within a family where the honest, direct expression of feelings was forbidden or dangerous. Children brought up in families with these interpersonal dynamics quickly learn to repress and deny their feelings and use other channels to express their frustration. They never learn to express anger in a healthier way. Passive-aggressives always feel they are treated unfairly and are innocent victims of other people's unreasonable expectations. Because of this, passive-aggressives are genuinely dismayed when confronted with their behavior. They are totally unaware how irritating it can be to deal with someone who agrees to do something but then doesn't do it. If they are challenged about their behavior, they feel they are being held to unreasonable standards.

[@jenszen333]

I can relate! The nursing home plea…Same things all the points were spot on!

[@georgiakritikos4955]

79 jobs have narrowed it down for me t00❤MADISON IS SPOT ON🎥🎬💯

[@johnathonmitchell3317]

Hi, I am an adult child of PA and now I have 4 children that have been alienated from me. Very grateful for your story!

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

omg! I’m so sorry you’ve been through this from both sides. You’re not alone! We have a support group & you’re welcome to join: facebook.com/groups/866343211792820

[@tammylea]

And, yes...the isolation!! My "baby" will get married this fall, to a girl I have never even met, and likely I, nor NONE of my side of the family will even be invited. I ended up being isolated during the "marriage" from friends and family (my support system), which contributed to our sons being isolated from extended family. Abuse and Parental Alienation are so destructive in so many ways.

[@justliftit7866]

You've stated something that separates alienation from estrangement - the cutting off of the extended family. Estranged parents, the one who is truly toxic to the child, is the sole person who suffers because of their actions. But in alienation, the entire side of the family is targeted and alienated.

[@tammylea]

@@justliftit7866 absolutely!! This is classic parental alienation, and the son I mention above is still very deeply enmeshed and entrenched with the alienating parent. This is definitely NOT estrangement, although our son fully believes it is his decision to cut me and my entire extended family out of his life (another classic sign of true PA).

[@Amilcardelvillar]

I like this version. I am an alienated dad. 22 years waiting.

[@PeterPashoukos]

Thank you again, Madi. I know this project must be as soul crushing as it is rewarding. I just want you to know that you are helping me in real time. I am so grateful for your courage. To see/hear a daughter so similar to my own speak about this brings me a kind of comfort. I watched her graduate yesterday. I dropped off her gift. Left on an empty porch. So much of me wanted to just skip all of it. That angry, confused, person that did all I could do while having a foot on my neck. But she is my daughter. If she never speaks to me again she will still be my daughter and I will always let her know that the door is open. Another topic is me. How do I not give up on her without constantly living in the sadness so that I may move forward in my own life and strengthen the relationships that have suffered because I’ve been “waiting” for my girl to come back to me. Like everything else I suppose I must learn to find a balance. For now I have to treat it no differently than quitting alcohol. One day at a time. Sometimes one hour or minute at a time. Apologies for the long message. Just know that you are helping someone you’ve never met immensely. Right now. Thank you ❤. Feel free to reach out if you’d ever like to hear my story. Peter

[@megans1855]

An alienator's actions and thoughts are driven by their personality disorder. The disorder leads the way, leading their lives over anything else. Over rational thought, the welfare of their children, religious beliefs, anything. It's like an addiction model. Madi, thank you for your frankness, your wisdom, and for helping as many people as you can.

[@jefmer]

You bring me hope and validation for this type of abuse. I hope one day my daughter will break away from what I can only describe as a hate cult. People who their own ideas of rules and morals do not apply to themselves.

[@justliftit7866]

Thank you for sharing! It is very helpful for me to get your view and learn your experiences to help me gain insights into my 3 alienated children's experiences. I was a great dad and as I l reflect on my years with my kids, there is very little I would change about my actions and experiences with them. Your experience, as best I can tell, are very similar to what I've observed with my children. They believe it is their choice and in their best interest to not have a relationship with me. In their mind, I've been manipulated into something I really never was. As I observe them from a distance now (it's been >10years), I believe their mental health struggles (anxiety, depression) comes from the subconscious telling them something is very wrong, but they can't quite figure out why. Sadder yet is they instinctively know if they do seek out a relationship with me, they will lose all of their relationship with their mother. They've seen how she cast me aside like yesterday's newspaper after 20+ years of marriage.

[@PeggyStewart-rv5ff]

My circumstances have some similarities 😥My mother was v-e-r-y, unavailable to me, throughout my life. I was told from earliest memories...she developed toxemia while pregnant with me, I was daughter #3 for her, as she attempted to have a son for Daddy. Her Ob/Gyn told her, after my second sister was born, that she should NOT get pregnant again, due to poor health issues. I was born prematurely..and had to stay in incubator, close to 2 months before going home. Mom often went throughout the house, when I was age 4-5, with a screeching..panicky tone, consistently saying: "Dr.M. said, the O-N-L-Y thing...that SAVED my life, was you being born EARLY!" I remember how ASHAMED it made me feel, that I caused Mom, so much grief. Around the age of 6, I remember going to the garden area, behind our tiny, red brick-sided house (my 1st home) with my little bucket & shovel; knelt down, digging in the dirt, as I sang: "Thank You God, that I didn't kill my mommy." God has BEEN my life source, as He has N-E-V-E-R, nor EVER will, forsaken me.🙌✝️🙏🥰 I am 61, I live alone with my beloved fur-baby, Biscuit. We're both on this journey together.💞 I found him, in Alabama, and rescued him...but he (Biscuit) rescued me. God's plans and timing...I do not understand, but I accept that He KNOWS the plans He has for me...they are Good and NOT to do harm, and for that...and His beloved Son, Jesus Christ ✝️ I am FOREVER grateful! May God continue to Bless us ALL🙏💝

[@kellystone-v7d]

Love your common sense, great video Madie! Thanks for sharing this.

[@delducja]

Pathological behavior usually has direct connection to the childhood of the adult. In the majority of cases borderline personality and narcissistic behavior are rooted in childhood trauma. It is intergenerational. Remember to look at the grandparents. My own targeting is an example of this pathology.

[@christopherkeller5564]

This is yet another excellent video - great job Madi! I believe it's quite possible that your mother was indeed jealous of your relationship with your dad - and not only because she couldn't be as close to your dad as you were, but also because she probably had not been close to her own dad as a child. And I believe you're spot on with your empathy towards your mother. She is probably hurting greatly - and has been hurting greatly for much of her life. Thanks for the video - you're doing wonders for numerous parents!!

[@Llammallamma]

thank you. it helps me understand. It's sad that this happens.

[@CatieCarrier]

Your reasons are spot on... I'm 44 years old and my dad is now dead. My mother still says horrible things about him. It hurts less as you get older and discover more about how she became this monster....I still don't talk to her, but i reflect on how she became this way. Hug your dad.

[@nwrbiodiesel1]

Thank you so much for sharing your story Maddie ❤️! You are helping so many!

[@LeighaLish]

Financial abuse via child support is a big one I noticed with my mother and father, and other mother's against fathers. I don't mean that the noncustodial parent should not have some financial responsibility, but the amounts are extremely biased causing a huge difference in the standard of living in each parent's household. Money is one of a narcissists biggest supplies and motivators for how they behave, and the only thing they love more than their money is YOUR money. They believe they are entitled to it. The more they can keep the child from one parent, the more money they can take.

[@AmericanVoiceNetwork]

Wow, Maddie keep up the great work. Coincidence I was raised in a town called Madison. As you know, I've gone through this parental alienation with my daughter and we have reunited. I describe myself as someone who does not cry often maybe once a year, but I've always kept it in and held my feelings inside. I guess I can't say that anymore every single time I watch your video I am crying. Keep up the great work you are making a big difference for the children to understand all about parental alienation and to help them reunite with their parent. p.s. Don't be hard so hard on your mother. I'm sure you are very mad at her for what she did. Maybe she didn't do it on purpose. Maybe she made mistakes and allowed her jealousy to control her and didn't understand she was making a mistake. There is definately a jealousy factor. In my case There was a lot of jealousy involved and insecurity involved by the alienated parent.

[@adityarajivratnam6863]

Thank you for speaking up about these issues. The first 3 were the major reasons why my mother alienated me as well. Of those, the first was the biggest. I really hope parents would love their child more than they hate their ex for whatever perceived wrongs.

[@audreylee5678]

This is wild. My step daughter is going through the same thing. She’s 10 now. I’ve been in a step mom role since she was 2 months old. She’s sheltered, she’s homeschooled, she’s made daughter reject her loving and fully present father since she was 3 years old. I’ve been referred to as “collateral damage” as step daughter’s hate for her father (my husband). Step daughter still has a relationship with father but it has been strained so bad. There’s moments that we fear she will cut us off entirely. No one is as perfect, amazing and as Holy as her mother. Mother is sweet on the outside, behind the scenes is a terror to us. We don’t share the ugly with step daughter, but mother uses anything and everything she can to minimize our place in her life and to strip away the trust step daughter feels with us when she’s here. Step daughter bawled this last summer that when she goes home and has to answer her mother’s questions about us, mother always has to “refresh her memory” on who we actually are as people…abusive liars. The word “abuse,” (sexual and physical) has been thrown around by step daughter consistently for the last 5 months. These ideas are put in her brain by her mother. It’s horrible, it’s evil, and it’s HARD to constantly do the “right” thing as the alienated parent. Right now my husband and I find ourselves not even knowing what is the right or wrong move anymore.

[@sheilasmallwood5461]

Your posts are so honest and SO helpful. I hope this is becoming more mainstream and that my daughters (now 23 and 21, alienated by their father when they were 13 and 15 years old). It’s hopeful to hear reunification can happen even after so many years as you’ve done. THANK YOU!❤

[@julialee143]

I was alienated from my mom for 11 years by an extremely narcissistic father. My mom lost her 6 kids! But I reunited with her last year! It's been amazing...She's reconnected with 5 of her kids. it IS possible! Best to you!!!

[@sheilasmallwood5461]

@@julialee143 this is amazing to hear!! I’m so glad for you and your mom. It’s so damaging and heart breaking what’s been done to you both.Thx for sharing!!🩷🙏🏻

[@LeeYvesMexico]

You've hit every reason: Bang On! Your doing wonderful work, thank you so much for taking this terrible issue which destroys peoples lives into the consciousness of people who need answers to what happened to them by others who were suppose to love them.

[@stevemiller8895]

Narcissists NEED AN ENEMY IN ORDER TO RESIST so they can gain self-esteem by competition by winning and if they did not create an enemy , then who can they blame?

[@clifforddeavey8943]

Thanks!

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

thank you!!

[@troynunley8161]

About #3, JEALOUSY 🤯 Yes! My ex is an alienator. Borderline/narcissist. Classic case. Mostly motivated by hate towards me, need to isolate the kids and fear of loneliness... The "hermit profile" borderline in Dr. Christine Lawson's "Understanding the Borderline Mother." But...my ex had a surrogate/2nd mother-figure, who was also clearly borderline and fits the bill of #3 perfectly. The woman hated my ex when she was dating the woman's son. Then loved my ex when my ex and her son broke up. That woman turned her hate to her son's new girlfriend and eventually his wife. Ostracized both of them. She was jealous. He was her only child. Another woman threatened mom's place. When that jealous mother died of terminal cancer she made two last requests of me. ONE, to play her favorite gospel hymn at her funeral as she departed to be with her dearly beloved Jesus. TWO, advise: should she disinvite her son to her funeral? 🤯 One last act of rejection to stab the boy in the heart with for the rest of his life! WOW, ....woman!!! You're going to go be with Jesus? The man who died for your son? The man who's Heavenly Father sacrificed HIS Son... So as to redeem you? An alienated sinner? And your plans for YOUR DEATH are to finally injure an alienate your own flesh and blood? The boys only "sin" was provoking mom's jealousy by investing his love in a wife. If "Jealousy Burns", hell will be hot for the alienators. The only fire in hell is the one we bring with us.

[@richardthomas74]

I thought I was going to cry when you told us your mom homeschooled you. My daughter's mother has recently deregistered our daughter from school in a further effort to isolate our daughter from me, my side of her family, and her friends. I fought it as best as I could. I went to court to prevent it from happening a few years ago. Long story short, they said they'd fine me if I returned and didn't do anything to stop my ex deregistering her. She got pregnant with her second child and decided against it back then, thankfully. But now, of course, she legally has free reign and has done what she wanted to do those three years ago. I haven't seen my daughter since the first week of January. Anyway, thank you for your videos. They are tough to watch, but in the best way - the insight you are offering is invaluable, particularly as a dad with an alienated daughter. I see so much of her in you. Have a great day and keep doing what you are doing - like you, I wish more alienated children would speak out - it's what is really needed to make the family court system, social workers, etc, see the big picture.

[@madihas5813]

Thank you especially for the end message to the targeted parents… as a targeted parent, I really appreciated it. And I hope my child sees this and understands this. 🌹

[@jayneking8340]

Thank you for your courage, Madi!!

[@rachelfiery6540]

My husband has been alienated from his daughter. Mentally this has been ongoing for sometime but it has been since just this June 2024 that she has stopped coming home. The mother tried with the son as well but he fortunately opened his eyes to her lies and behavior. But now we are currently dealing with trying to stop the alienation process of the daughter but also trying to encourage some sort of relationship of the son with the mother so we too aren't alienating! It's such a mess and a struggle bc there are 2 kids not wanting to go to the opposite households for similar but different reasons! And this is totally affecting the ENTIRE family not just the parent child but siblings (full bio and 1/2) and step parent (me)!!

[@maryface04]

Power, Control, Competition, Ego

[@gingerfellah5665]

My ex “forgot” to continue the family dental plan. I only discovered after divorce. I had a terrible time getting it reinstated. I was told “I thought you discontinued it years ago”. Why would any loving parent do that when our younger son needed braces. The insurance confirmed it to me.

[@jefmer]

Everything is right on the money. Especially the part of isolating the child so the parent would be free to abuse the child without the other parent being able to stop it. I had to call the police to perform multiple welfare checks after learning my daughter's mom was abusing her with drugs.

[@LFG1506]

Good video, Madi. I'm sure it resonates with a lot of us. For a narcissist, everything is always a competition They feel they have to win no matter what and will take anyone down to try to get to the top. And you are so right... it really is a sad sickness.

[@anthonyrocchio5419]

1. Control, 2. Inflect harm on me, 3. Hatred (mostly of herself), 4. Jealousy, because they know that you are the better person/parent, and they are defective. They know it. I am an alienated dad for the past 10 years. They hate you because you are genuinely loving, caring, empathetic, disciplined, etc. All what they are not.

[@ParentalAlienationAwareness]

Thank you Madi for sharing your lived experience even though it breaks my heart hearing about the trauma you've gone through, and maybe still to this day are dealing with. 😟 I'm so glad though to see your channel constantly grow, reaching more and more people, enabling your wise and sympathetic words spread like rings on the water. Warm hugs from Stockholm, Sweden 🤗🇸🇪

[@samaadhmeditation13]

The perspective of jealousy was Enlightening, it makes sense :-)

[@stevefisher8227]

Nailed it Madi. Again! This is the exact story in my case. THANK YOU!! 🙏 🙏

[@eaudesolero5631]

My ex has straight up said to a custody evaluator that I treat my daughter better than I treat her. Of course ignoring all of the things that I did for her. My daughter has told several people that mommy has said that she cannot love anybody but her.

[@kevinhornbuckle]

I hope you and your daughter get through this.

[@Mike-zw7fq]

Your videos are Difficult for me to watch. But please keep up your desperately needed work. Best Wishes from Montana! M.H.

[@jami7772]

I would really like to forward this video to my daughter but I'm so hesitant as i think her mom will find out and further isolate my daughter from me. I'll save it as a favourite and send it to her when she's older. 🤞🏼 Brilliant video Madi 👏🏼

[@michelina01]

You have to have someone else do it. Or get it into her inbox as "spam"

[@KR-kc5xz]

Keep up the good work, Madi.

[@paawarenessuk]

Hi Madi. Jack Goodings here in Somerset, England, trustee. Hoping you got my email about our event. I see so many people from UK here. As an alienated adult child, and parent, and have finally 'estranged', left my career to support folk in UK. I understand this very well, and can help them .. and hope you're able to let UK folk know about the event coming up. It was you who helped give me the resolve to leave my career and do something about this for others. And I'm hoping you're able to put a brief video together for the alienated parents and adult children coming to the event .. it would be extremely well-received. Can I give people here the UK Helpline? (Samaritans trained). Oh, Citizen's Advice Bureau, when asked to give our leaflets out, said "no". The money is another reason. And another possible reason, wanting to be a better parent than her parent .. a 'thing' between her and her mum. Thanks. Jack

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

could you premiere the panel discussion video that I’m posting on PA awareness day? Maybe you could host a watch party?

[@paawarenessuk]

@@TheAnti-AlienationProject We could definitely link it to the KZbin channel and possibly the website. I was hoping you could say a brief few words to the folk at the event by pre-recording (because of time difference), I think it's very important they see you're reaching out to them. We'll be limited to time, what with the Think Tanks, speaker guests etc. Parental Alienation Day .. we're the ones who established the day 😊. The tune you played of mine on the earlier videos, I'll be playing my video of that and mentioning about how you using it drove me to move fully into this work. I really hope you'll do so (maybe use WeTransfer) .. it's important for the 'adult child' and extended family part of the session, we'd really appreciate it being you

[@BMCMEDIAKENYA]

I see my daughter in you ❤❤❤ much love

[@LynnB-v5v]

Jealousy is a key reason children are alienated from grandparents.

[@jillnugent4341]

Hi Madi I was alienated from my two children . They are older now and living with me. The damage is evident to me, but they are not yet able to understand or are even aware of what actually happened. I so often want to tell them a few truths, but any chance I have will just cause a rify btwn us. ❤

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

are they 18+? If so, we have a support group for adult children of PA! They don’t need to go through this alone! facebook.com/groups/866343211792820

[@ransendrovitz52]

I sometimes wonder how much of the alienation comes from conscious manipulation and how much is based on a real pathological belief of the alienator that the other parent is bad / dangerous / incapable / etc and they need to protect the child from them...pathological enmeshment is when the parent can't discern between themselves and the child, so if they see the other parent as a danger / threat for themselves, they must be a threat to the child as well and the child must be saved! Maybe each case is different...We, humans, see the world through the stories in our head

[@Shug35th]

BS to you not being a professional at this. U are to dam spot on with this video!!!!!! As of now, you're my greatest help!! THANK YOU

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

You are so welcome

[@jameskarase4166]

What was your mom's mental state? Has she been diagnosed with an Borderline or Personality Disorder? Was there any transgenerational trauma in her past? was alienated because of trauma in her childhood and her BPD- histrionics issue. She has distorted attachment with the kids and manipulated and made the kids believe I abused them and her because of her pathology. PA is insidious! I love hearing your experience as a targeted dad. Keep up the great work you help me get through and understand what my kids are going through. You help me fight and stay strong for them. I

[@sunset9729]

Twisted 😮

[@jeaninelouks5530]

On rejection-Something I keep pointing out to the nah sayers/those still believing the gaslighting is that if I was out for revenge, why would I, being taught from age 2 that Dad didn't want me, continue to allow him access to my life. I never said no to Dad when he called, wanted to visit, sent gifts or anything really. I was very very reserved with him and now I know he was gaslit to believe the majority was his fault. It is the same with anyone really not approved by Mom or step Dad as appropriate including my Uncle, who after 20+yrs we reconnected and discovered she did the same thing to both our kids! The isolation technique is so very sick. To be delusional to the point of keeping family afraid and away from those ill and needing help is still, after 9 yrs of being shunned for help, astounding to me. My 93 yr old grandmother and I, being 50 this year, have both desperately needed physical assistance but are ignored, threatened with police, told it's our fault, and by example are showed if we don't comply with cult mentality, we are not worth the effort to keep alive. Hedonism at it's best with a side dose of hero complex. As with anyone, depending on the moral code they conduct their life on aka religion, my experience/upbringing is from a non practicing Catholic converted to Pentecostal latter rain cult "pastors" to current evangelical liberal mindset of no one can tell you what to do based on any standard except "your conscious" gets us here to chaos. Hope with fortitude I always pray.

[@marcynaivar7843]

Madi, you are giving me hope, but how do we get my alienated stepdaughters this video and know they will watch it ? I know my husband could text the link to them, but he fears it will spark more rage in his ex. I don’t believe they understand they’ve been abused. They’re brainwashed. My attitude is what does he have to lose? My husband’s ex has abused them with alienation for 10 years. They are now 19 and 20. There’s been a complete cutoff for almost 3 years now. We don’t know how to get them this information so they can hopefully start figuring it out! Madi do you have any suggestions? One of the girls’ names is Madi. 😢 Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you brave young lady.

[@MELISSADELAGERHEIM]

Just wondering if you were the scapegoat, was there a golden child in your family? Is there always one of each? I know one can be both golden child/scapegoat.

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

yes, there was a golden child, but the weird thing is that it has switched now to another sibling

[@AGenerationJones]

In narcissistic family systems, the roles can change, in order to control, or be the trophy parent. My son was the scapegoat and developed oppositional defiance disorder, because of the trauma. Then he was the problem. But I never gave up on him, and once he became successful, he became the Prince. The Golden child is now starting to figure out she has been demoted. It is giving me a chance to rebuild our relationship.

[@alexissimmons-guess5118]

I wish I had the courage to share this with my estranged stepdaughter. I can't help but believe this is what happened behind close doors. Pretty sure she has me blocked though.

[@littleoceandrop]

SOLID

[@saromo22]

😢

[@trippled4590]

Hi Madi, I’m a Dad of a 13 yo and my daughter and I are going through a very similar situation as you did with your mom. Her mom is very narcissistic and alway said she was gonna keep my daughter once she was 12, I ignored it as my child and I have always had a great relationship. Well my daughter is almost 13 now and her mom has almost completely alienated me and my family now. My daughter will go to dinner with me on my days (I have joint custody) but is refusing to stay with me and says she only wants to live with her mom. She’s totally rejecting my wife and her step sister who have been in her life since age 5 and even her bio sister from my side. Is there a group or place for me, as the Dad, in this situation to find help/support / direction.

[@WaffleandEmber]

Madi, I love your channel. I’m contemplating sharing it with my 14 year old daughter. I just don’t know how she would receive it. I have a question though: my children want nothing to do with me and I’ve received messages from my daughter saying that if I don’t help pay for things she wants then it means I don’t love her. Her dad tells me the same thing regarding our children and not helping with more expenses. I tell them both that I’d love to help but I just can’t right now. I’ve also told my daughter that just because I can’t help out in terms of money, it doesn’t mean I don’t love or care about her. Money and love don’t go hand in hand for me but for my ex husband they definitely do and I fear he’s taught my kids to feel that way. Does anyone have thoughts on this?

[@silviadalmolin]

You should receive an apology. Instead you are getting a virtual hug from me ❤

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

I appreciate that:)

[@michaeldrapeau7569]

What a great video. So what do you suggest us alienated parents.

[@humanlovesolidarity4718]

the best part of my nightmare of the family divorce (in my teens) was when I reached my 60's i told my step mother she was loved because she loved my father. She never had to defend my father because we all knew the birth mother was crazy. Half way through my life i stopped calling it 'my divorce' and separated myself from the chaos. Dad was an honorable man and I carry his traits in my life. Crazy mother eventually married a rich man and used him like a ATM, that's when I stopped biting my fingernails. The other kids never recovered from 'the divorce' and moved into her house continuing the chaos of a dysfunctional family. My only recourse is not to attend the birth mother's funeral in the future. *this is the first time i ever talked about my life.*

[@KR-kc5xz]

Chronically immature people create competitions when there is a need for being part of a team.

[@TheSpeenort]

My wife targeted me because she mistakenly thought my parents were rich. The very day after we were married was when she first continually threatened me with divorce and ruination. Our first child was only five days old when she declared that when she divorced me I'd never see our daughter again. A son and eight years later, I finally had enough narcissistic abuse and divorced her with joint custody. Our son was getting suicidal at age seven, and though I begged my ex to relent, she told me that if he did commit suicide it would be my fault. Her two years of alienation efforts were so traumatic on the children that I had to back away. Now, after 35 years, our kids have finally agreed to see me a few times but they're still holding her alienation against me. I hate to say it, but they may be narcissists too. It's almost as hard on me now as it was 35 years ago. The best construction I can put on things is that she was terribly caught up in soap-opera mentality and that she perceived it as her duty to destroy everything. One week after I backed away from my children, telling them I loved them and they could contact me any time, she called me, bragging about how well she had destroyed my relationship to our children. It was as if she wanted me to congratulate her. I asked if she would lie to get another husband, and she told me, "that's the only way for a woman to get a man." In many ways, I wish she had gotten another man, another scapegoat, another victim.

[@wertyghjkl-fc3dx]

Sorry to keep commenting but part of me feels this way for a reason. Months I believe prior to my ex bringing their new partner to court...we just happened to be on the same dating app which by viewing their profile / suggested to mine...it automatically shows them. For I want to say the first couple years...chose to stay single...being tired of feeling suffocated in a relationship.

[@rock20055]

Any suggestions when the alienator is a grandparent who is extremely disordered and has a lifetime of experience manipulating and feels so emboldened because they care little at this point in life about consequences and if grandma engages in criminal activities and coerces the alienated child to do so as well?

[@LisaMcGraw-ib7rj]

Wow.....:(

[@celestehurley5230]

I'm curious , what was your mother's relationship with Her Own father ? Did she have a father in her life?

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

She was alienated from her dad

[@LorettaDavis-sp1bn]

What age do you think you can talk to your child about what they are going through?

[@y.a.p8951]

alienators aren't capable of love, they can't stand seeing others embrace it, hence they'll do everything to destroy it for a supply of asserted admiration. This behaviour strongly reminds me the story of rapunzel.

[@zhuala]

I also currently going thru this with my daughter even so far that i cannot take a picture or video in front of my ex. She brainwash my daughter when taking selfies always wear a mask.

[@WellHouseSCTX]

My Mom ruins all my friendships and relationships. My mom would even alienated me from classmates and as punishment would would make me where pJs to school.

[@kevinhornbuckle]

Have you been able to get away from her?

[@trentsteel1542]

I've always been curious about what happens to the alienator after the target is completely erased. Does she just double down and act even worse to the child she's alienating? Does she isolate her alienated child even more than before? Not letting her make her own decisions, only allowing her to have certain friends, making sure she works at dunkin donuts with her narc grandmother so that the regime can keep an eye on her well into adulthood? Or does she back off and just celebrate her victory in successfully hurting the other parent?

[@larrylorimer3065]

My children growing up could not have friends or see my side of the family. Now they are still controlled and living with the Abuser in their 30's. Now I hear Mental illness has set in on two of them. They can't work or get a job and much held up in the house day and night. I'm free of the Abuser but the Courts forced them to stay together. Not a good Justice system!

[@trentsteel1542]

@larrylorimer3065 That's what I figured. My kid is 18 now, and I'm free of the NPD abuse. My daughter is apparently diagnosed with anxiety disorder now, which she supposedly blames on me. Though I have no idea if I was actually corresponding with her or her mother, It's most likely the same difference either way at this point. Of course, the only correspondence we had was through Facebook, or degradating letters, which sounded exactly like the ones her mother used to write to me. Wow, I must have done one heck of a number on my child during those 4 days a month that I was supposed to have visitation. Yeah, I'm 100% erased. Haven't taked to her in person for over 4 years now. Even though she lives in the same town.

[@georgiakritikos4955]

1. JELLOUS 2. CONTENTIOUS ❤IS SYSTEMIC SEGREGATION 🇺🇸🎬🎥💯THEY PIT THE ONE AGAINST THE OTHER T00 PICK POCKET ❤AMERICANS, EXCELLENTE EXPOSURE❤ MADISON a+

[@gettingschooled3094]

Your Mum is my ex. Same stuff.

[@thomassaam8707]

I am so done hearing it’s not personal. What the F is it then, she ruined my kids and my life…..of course it’s personal!!!

[@victimpreventionproject]

Madi, has your mom seen the error of her ways and gotten help? Has she apologized to you? :(

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

I wish, but it’s been the opposite

[@victimpreventionproject]

@@TheAnti-AlienationProject I'm so sorry 😔 🌹

[@deenag7158]

I'm surprised you're not mad at your mom. She systematically and intentionally hurt you for years. Damage yourself esteem damage your relationship with your dad. I don't mean the child is that I think you should punish her but she did something pretty bad and I do think it would help her to feel some consequences from you

[@georgiakritikos4955]

Ps i study slavery💯& trafficking is over labour/>> CLEANING services top of the list ITS CHEAP ALSO COOKING& LAUNDRY SERVICES MADISON, ADD IN YARD WORK🎥🎬

[@georgiakritikos4955]

Inheritance ISSUES ❤MADISON, I GET IT, I STUDY IT

[@lynnschaeferle-zh4go]

Why did my ex alienate our children? Not just to kill me, he also has to own the kids. I think they are also the only human connection he has. He is skilled at manipulating two of them but the third is mildly autistic. His dad acts like he doesn’t exist. The moron ex doesn’t care about how he has hindered their development or how emotionally controlling or abusive he is. He hated his 2 mothers and I’m the payback. Apparently everyone else has scampered because of the smear campaign. There must be something very wrong when a mom has pictures, but no kids. But don’t bother speaking truth. That ship sailed when I was painted as dishonest. Whatever else he said must have been awful but I really don’t care about all those people I used to love. I don’t care about myself either (because I am a people person) and my therapist tries to tell me not everyone is like that. Sorry. If my own kids who lived with me every day believe trash then I have no hope. My alcoholic ex did just fine without a mother and I guess his kids don’t deserve one either. Ironic since I think he married me to be a mother but once the mothering was done I had to be disposed of. Abuse and alienation were just part of the plan.

[@georgiakritikos4955]

Planned Parenthood 🎥🎬💯is a DISGRACE

[@Randorandom232]

Personally, I wouldn't rebuild a connection with a child who did this. No offense.

[@TheAnti-AlienationProject]

I don’t understand why you would comment this. The children are being abused in these situations

[@Randorandom232]

@@TheAnti-AlienationProject I noticed in some cases of broken contact, some pp want to reconnect. I was just stating my preference in the matter. It's unfortunate that someone was "abused" but they still hurt someone else. I can understand why some parents wouldn't want to reconnect. And some kids should accept that possibility.

[@larrylorimer3065]

I had 4 children that was started to be Abused at a young age and in their teens became MINIONS to the wife. The Court papers had all the names against their Dad to receive money. This is where the B&E's started with all my belongings burnt, destroyed or sold. This Dad never got to see or visit with them as the papers were against me. Years later I had to bury them to get on with my life the best I could. 15 years later the one son shows up to see what happened to the money tree. I have some contact with him but the others are to far gone mentally and are controlled living with the Abuser in their 30's. I do not care to see or help them as the damages are done. At Divorce time the children choose what side of the fence to sit on as easy money was at hand for them. An easy life they thought!

[@redbird1824]

Why did your mother alienate you from your [earthy]father ? #1 because she could [due to the state of the modern Anti-God evil court system] #2 because it was/is her hour and the power of darkness.

[@BitStreamTR]

I'll tell you from a dad's side to maximize her income from your father