Most Women Are Not With the Man They Want to be With

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[@kikibrown9548]

Sometimes you have to be realistic about what you want, especially if you are an average looking or unattractive woman. In my opinion women should pay close attention to the type of men they attract. If they aren’t happy with what’s available, then they should make whatever adjustments are feasible and necessary (weight loss, how you carry yourself, etc) in order to attract men that are closer to their ideal. If that doesn’t work, then they need to think very carefully about what their next steps will be. I honestly don’t think anyone should ever settle. If you are unable to attract someone that you really want to be with, just remain single. Settling isn’t worth it.

[@VintageAfro91]

A lot of people don't realize that family members influence a lot of the choices we make as women (and men). My grandma was always adamant about getting a "tall" man with a lot of money. Nothing about character, just tall and with a lot of money.

[@BackInTheLab2011]

Which is exactly why...initially at least...I ain't trying to meet her friends or family. She's gotta just make up her own mind about me.

[@BackInTheLab2011]

In the words of the great Mr. Patrice O'Neal (paraphrased)...every woman wants me...until proven otherwise.

[@banderas2000]

my neighbor's wife be giving me strong eye contact. that gaze. you know. he seems kinda goofy. but he pays the bills. i really think he is not the one she really wants.

[@ashtonrichardson3667]

Erykah Badu- next lifetime

[@Annaiuq1]

I see so much cheating going on around me men and women. It kind of makes me relieved I already have kids and never was married. I'm not desperate due to a "biological clock" and I'm not out here looking/feeling stupid 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@thrilla72]

UNCLE ROM!!!! Tell 'em!!! The amount of married women I've had to avoid because they've come checking for me.

[@artbunker]

Well damn. That made me have to think on some things.

[@DeshaunDamon]

Men rarely marry that dimepiece they aspire to. We are rarely compatible with the person who we have the best sex with. Very few ppl actually spend their lives with their first love. It's all about developing the maturity to make the right life choices and create the life that you want with a partner that you can manifest with. It's about training the subconcious to desire, attract and retain the person that best compliments you. Become the person that you want to be. Create the life that you want to live, and finally develop a connection with the person that enhances it all. Anything else and you're just building castles in the sand.

[@traceymilian7392]

Another great video. I am divorced after being in a marriage of just what you are discussing in this video. I’ve come to realize that settling CANNOT be an option. But I also understand that if women are settling so are the men. I have men friends who are not happy in their marriage after realizing that the too have settled for the someone that they are not happy with. I think we are at a place in time that is affording all of us the ability to come to the awareness of the essence of who we truly are and what do we truly want. Thank you broaching this subject on ur platform. I hope that in the end we can just come to a place of peacefulness and happiness.

[@brwnhilarybanks9953]

wow!!! so much truth to this... also you forgot convenience!!! i have done this before where the dude was nice but we clearly didnt click communication wise. he barel ever had anything to talk about becase he was not much of a talker. But i forced myself to deal with it and force topics that we can discuss since its hard for me to date in nyc or get approached. eventually soon after i told him we would have to stay friends.

[@vlee7217]

I've been single for years for this very reason. I live in a small city and i really hope when I relocate J can find a tribe I'm better suited with. I know the kind of man I want so it makes no point to force myself to be with someone who isnt that. The other reason women get in those situations is lonliness and age. People make us feel some type of way when we are single for long periods of time, not to mention if you want children you feel like you just need someone good enough so you can start a family. In the meantime I'm going back to school, getting fit and getting new hobbies so I feel like a complete package and confident enough to snag my dream guy. There's nothing wrong with me now but I just want to be the best version of me

[@devohnmitchell]

Uncle Rom this is right on time. i had a powerful connection wit a chick but she couldnt get past the fact that I'm a Muslim and she's a Chrstian so I cut it off with her. But she said I fit everything else she was looking for. Go figure...

[@greendelano]

THE GOBLET OF 🍷 IS BACK!!!

[@raiders48gates5]

Brother Rom, just ask the women count much they are alone than they are in a relationship. Lol

[@latoyathornton1871]

THE ONLY WOMAN WHO SETTLES ARE THE ONES WHO TIRED OF TAKING CARE OF THEMSELVES. ANY WOMAN OF TRUE VALUE WILL HOLD OUT.

[@peridozq9390]

Some men make it impossible for the women of their choice to say no, they drive away potential dates so at the end of the day either the woman says yes or remains a spinster for a very long time. In this day of modern tech, a lot can be achieved by some men including access to your phone. My question is, do these men care that the women they’re with are settling for them? That these women preferred different men? After all the men got what they wanted, right? Some of these men punish their women for not finding them desirable when they knew from the get go how they got them.

[@dudewat212]

This is definitely a very timely topic, with the recent Slim Thug comments regarding Russell Wilson & Ciara.

[@mimia8388]

Good morning Rom, there is a lot of truths to what you said, but it's more complicated than that. Coming to a place like Canada and living potential mates behind who does not want to live in those big countries is one thing. Traveling with the hope of sponsoring someone who you were in love with only to found out the minute you turn your back, this person got involved with someone else is another hurdle. In Canada the majority of black people are either from Haiti, Jamaica or Africa, but there is also a large group of people from the smaller islands. Africans are in a bracket by themselves. Their culture is very different. They keep the family together. They might marry an outsider, but it is for the short term. No matter what they do, the majority will return to that woman they promise to marry. Most of them get their documents and disappear or just make the person's life miserable until they file for divorce. Lots of Caribbean women and white women got caught up in that. Things may have change a bit, but for the most part, that is what it is. Caribbean women have been opening their eyes to a certain extent. In terms of Caribbean men or women, some Caribbean men will just get with a white woman and forget about the woman they had in the Caribbean or just get with or marry another black woman from another island or Africa or if the relationship they had with that woman they had back home is strong, they will marry and sponsor this woman. The women might keep in touch with the man they had back home and sponsor them. Usually that poses a big problem, because sometimes that man would be in a relationship with another woman and it becomes a love triangle. Those same women might keep in touch with those men and have another man up in Canada. It is a crazy situation. There are also men who were truly in love with a girlfriend and had plans to marry and sponsor this woman, but as soon as he turned his back, she got involved with another man. This has been the bullshit that has been prominent in the black community - unfaithfulness. This is why a lot of these marriages do not last, because most people are in a marriage, but stuck on that one person that they think they should be with. Cheating never ends. Now, let's look at religion. Today, not many people goes to church, but there are still a good group of people who are faithful. In terms of relationship and marriage the Jehovah's witnesses organization is very different from all other religions. You are not encourage to marry outside of the religion as the outside person might affect your spiritual life, because they are not of the same faith. The majority of the people adhere to that advice, but there are those who will marry outside. In that case they cannot marry in the kingdom hall. Such people might marry civil or some other way, but certainly not in the kingdom hall. Then they are cut off from all activities in the kingdom hall for a period of time until they can prove they are faithful. A lot of times such people come to the meeting with their wife or husband and sometimes the outside person end up getting baptized and become part of the religion or sometimes the outside person never get baptized or join the religion. Usually they either stay together or divorce, but one might stay in the religion while the other is gone. If the couple stays together...even if the husband or wife never join the religion, the witness have to stay with her husband or wife, because they made the decision to marry this person and they have to follow the written word as applied to every married couple. In order words, once married, you stick to your spouse unless the couple needs counseling or so. It is not easy to get a divorce. That is why they ask people to take their time and chose wisely. Again, there is a lot of substance to what you said, but in this society it can be complicated.