Mother-In-Law Is ANGRY I Lied About My New Baby Sons Birthdate - AITA Reddit Stories

[@BexsBoxofConfusion]

Story 1: DIL is just gonna sit there bleeding, probably barely able to sit, with breats aching, probably haven't slept, the baby is completely new to the world, confused and has no idea what is happening, with no immune system, and the OP is like YAY GERM PARTY!

[@katrinschirmer8018]

yeah, like who thinks it's a good idea to expose a newborn to a bunch of germs, and during a pandemic to boot? like wtf.

[@berylwheaten9385]

@SlowlyBex Your explanation of the situation is spot on. The Grandma is more worried about the party than the actual experience of meeting her grandbaby.

[@gaywerewolf1294]

Then why would dad be there? Not agreeing with them but if you're gonna bitch about germs and shit then include everyone, not just people you don't agree with lol. That's flawed logic

[@pansprayers]

@@gaywerewolf1294 father is a known variable, genius. I'm not sure if you understand how pregnancy and delivery work, but let me give you a primer: If you, as the father, have anything so much as appears as a head cold, they will boot you off of the L&D floor. If you, as the father do not get your boosters to prevent spreading pertussis - that presents as said head cold in adults with otherwise normal immune systems - then you don't get to be near the infant. Nobody got to spread their herpes, pertussis or influenza to infants (ESPECIALLY the nonparents) before 2020. You sure as hell don't get to do it now.

[@Snowshowslow]

@@gaywerewolf1294 Also, presumably the father lives there and has a part in the care of the mother and the child. If he isn't allowed to meet the mom and the baby that has huge implications for all of their lives. If the grandparents have to wait a few weeks all that happens is they need to practice their patience.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Hold up: Airpods cost about $120 right now. So Sis stole that money and have the nerve to say "if you wanted to keep it you needed to hide it better"? And that behavior is not supposed to be called out within the family? I think the family is lucky that all that happened was words. I think OP did the rest of the family a favor by alerting them to the presence of a thief. And if Mom doesn't like being called out, then she needs to do better. Not the asshole

[@aluralovell6829]

The part that really made me mad was when the mother threw the money at her meaning two things. 1. The sister could have just asked the mother for the money but instead thought it was better to steal from OP and 2. The mother could have just given the sister the money but instead thought it would be better if she let one daughter steal from the other because she didn't have the heart to tell her no. I mean think about that, their daughter has so little respect for her younger sister that her first thought was to steal and was so comfortable doing it that she even asked her mother where the money was.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@aluralovell6829 Or a 3rd option; replace the money in the hiding spot so that golden child got her domination kink fix but OP still gets to keep her money and not feel as violated. The fact that the "mother" thought NONE of those options were good, that she thought the best course of action was to enable the golden brat AND help to hurt the scape goat (OP), makes her even worse. OP needs to move in completely with her aunt, cut off the whole shit family, and reply to the extended assholes with the full story (because you know mummy-dearest is feeding them BS. She needs to ask her aunt for help navigating those pieces of shit that call themselves family. And, because I'm a petty bitch, I would make a group chat with "mom" and "dad" and tell them "BTW, 'dad', I get that you're weak and spineless and will never defend me, and I guess that makes sense since I'm not 'your real daughter', but biology isn't everything! If you could forgive "mom" for all the affairs she's been having throughout your entire marriage, and even accept to raise me, the child of another man, then why couldn't you learn to love me too?!"... And watch the excrement hit the wind propulsion device. Ohhh, and I would screen shot the fallout to send to the extended family, because even if OP isn't some other man's kid, you know vile people like "mom and dad" have other skeletons hanging out.

[@aluralovell6829]

@@Original_Tenshi_Chan Also I notice how the idea of giving her daughter the money-back never even crossed her mind until she got called out.

[@Yuritsissymaid]

If I was OP, I would have forced them To watch Prison documentaries Telling the Sister Should She not kill her thievery addiction. She might end up in one of those prisons

[@Daydream_N]

"How dare you make your 16 year old sister, an actual thief, feel bad!" You know what else will make her feel bad? Jail

[@AndyyWithAY]

How is the 14 yr old child the most mature person in this situation?? You know your older child stole from her younger sibling and you're just cool with it. You get mad at the daughter who was stolen from?? Why are you 16 and still behaving like a 3 year old? OP will be going NC as soon as she can, and I can completely understand. The parents are horrible!! More concerned about reputation than their child stealing from her own sister

[@aluralovell6829]

The part that really made me mad was when the mother threw the money at her meaning two things. 1. The sister could have just asked the mother for the money but instead thought it was better to steal from OP and 2. The mother could have just given the sister the money but instead thought it would be better if she let one daughter steal from the other because she didn't have the heart to tell her no. I mean think about that, their daughter has so little respect for her younger sister that her first thought was to steal and was so comfortable doing it that she even asked her mother where the money was.

[@justine8387]

@@aluralovell6829 yeah that was very icky. Hopes OP says with Aunt and gets some support.

[@roehaitian9768]

Op should ask the aunt to help open up a bank account

[@robertx8020]

Hee stop insulting the golden child and her awesome mother...they might change their ways if you do and the daughter my be corrected ..nobody wants that. /s I hope OP finds somewhere else to live and find himself some new persons to call 'my parents '

[@manub.3847]

@@roehaitian9768 Depending on the country/region and the laws in force there, it may not be possible for a 14-year-old to open an account without the consent of the legal representative. However, there may be the possibility in the country to have an account contract set up by the aunt for the benefit of third parties. As a rule, however, the beneficiary can only dispose of the money in the account independently after a certain date/event. Otherwise, parents have at least until the 18th birthday joint right to dispose of the account of their underage children.

[@maddy8328]

"let's host a party right after you get out of the hospital and are still recovering!!! And in a pandemic!" "What you lied to me for your family's privacy and safety from the virus? HOW DARE YOU" Yeah, YTA. Why did you invite people when they said no to the party? That's on you. I'd hide far away from you. "My nephew isn't a part of it" but he brought the private info to you, he as much a part of this bullshit as you.

[@-ilkis-]

And it's not even about the pandemic. Anyone that just gave birth at any point in history have the right to be left alone. Only visit if you're planing on cleaning the house, doing dishes, cooking or being helpful in any way they need.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Mentioning someone's acne when there's literally NOTHING they can do to change it at that exact moment is so fucking cruel. My dad used to say I looked like a clown because I'd cover my entire face with foundation to cover my pimples, and I'm still self conscious about it to this day, at 24, and having no acne (which I only got under control because of birth control pills)

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Imagine being so tone deaf and unable to read a room that your own son lies to you about your grandson's birthday. I'm sure the son tried every tactful way to let Mom know that they weren't going to display their child to a group of people mere weeks after birth. And since she wasn't going to listen to logic, the only option left was to just lie. Good Lord.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Mom wanted to do the party HOURS after. Because of COVID moms are sent home as quickly as posable for their and baby safety. If they don't have to keep you and your readings are safe your out the door with baby in arm.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

@@ShatoraDragondore That’s what bothered me most. She wanted to have a party for a baby who just popped out? A baby that would 100% contract something? When the Mom is still healing?! The welcome party is so obviously for Op and not for that baby. I'm surprised her son didn't cut her off cause I sure would after noticing how possessive she's getting over a child that isn't hers!

[@tephrafalls6321]

Yuuup. That first post just screamed entitlement from the new grandma. My sisters, when they had their babies, always had an open celebration (that they arranged themselves) a few months after the birth, when the baby is stronger and the mother has healed.

[@YuriKaroki19]

Imagine asking people not to attack someone that started the conflict in the first place (the nephew)

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

At this point, this new grandma will be lucky if she even sees her grandson at all. She's had her chance to raise her children, now it's her son's turn. She needs to stop interfering with her son's family.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Second story. That mother will regret enabling her “favorite” child when she will grow up and live with her rent free and demands shit that “she didn’t have the heart to say no to” while her “least favorite” child goes NC and makes a great living for herself.

[@stephanien6237]

Don’t worry-that “favorite” child will get room and board when she lands in jail for her thievery in the future! 😂😂😂

[@middaydraws3379]

1: OP is gonna wonder why her son never talks to her in the future. 2: Poor kid. Parents have a favorite and it shows. "S feels bad" what about the actual victim? NTA 3: Good god what an YTA. You don't do that to someone who's insecure.

[@maddy8328]

Story 3, "I try to be supportive" no, no you don't. You joked about her appearance. Acne can be extremely painful, YTA.

[@Alteusgirl]

Story 3: repeat after me: "a joke is only harmless if everyone is laughing about it" otherwise it's not harmless at all

[@fantasea114]

That's kinda dumb because we have have different senses of humour.

[@lisayaraerdmann]

@@fantasea114 different sense of humor doesn't matter if the joke is targeted at a person, if the target isn't laughing it's bullying

[@fantasea114]

@@lisayaraerdmann you sound like soooo much fun

[@nelsontorres6855]

​@lisayaraerdmann it becomes bullying if it's a constant thing or if it was malicious. Daughter was too sensitive which is normal since she's 16 but the mom was fully wrong I think

[@nelsontorres6855]

That wife needs to apologize. Calling him a bad father was way over the line. It's a joke. She's a teen so she's allowed to be sensitive about it but the wife took it too far

[@melissawittman]

A new mom with a newborn does NOT need a houseful of people or to go to someone else's home. We all know the physical "issues" following birth that would make the new mom uncomfortable anywhere. She and "dad" need bonding time and they need to figure out their new life schedule. They are tired. They don't want or need a party just after birth. If OP had not been so insistent perhaps she would have been invited over to meet the baby on her own before she found out about the birth 2 weeks later. I still have nightmares about my mother-in-law's visit a week after my second child was born and it was just 1 person!

[@Emily-ck9ji]

I can't imagine DEMANDING to host a party with several family members during a PANDEMIC for a newborn. The entitlement of her and the family is bizarre and she'll be lucky if she gets to spend any time with her grandchild until she apologizes and actually understands WHY she was wrong.

[@rebecca4480]

Plus hospitals discharge them as soon as they can

[@itsjustme7487]

This.is the second time I've heard this story. It this welcoming party a Wiccan thing,?

[@Emily-ck9ji]

@@itsjustme7487 I .. wouldn't know anything about wiccan celebrations, so I can't help you there, but I was just assuming that it was a late "Baby Shower" because restrictions have been so tight due to COVID. Things are now loosening up and I think she just wanted to be the controlling mother-in-law/new grandmother. A lot of Grandparents feel they have the right to throw their weight around and make demands.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Not even a pandemic that bothers me, it's the fact they think they have a right to a newborn and that a new mother has to spend the first few weeks at someone else's home with a bunch of people instead of with her child and husband. My husband's aunt was telling me she was going to spend a month with us after I had my first child and she had two toddlers and was pregnant (we don't even have a spare bedroom) and when I shut that down she didn't talk to me for an entire year, oh well, I said I wanted a month to heal and be with my child before I introduce her to anybody and that's exactly what I did.

[@AJSSPACEPLACE]

There being a pandemic is not relevant in the slightest. The mother in law would even be the asshole, if all the family members lived on the same street. The parents didn’t want the party. End of discussion.

[@sleepstump]

Story 3: YTA. Your teen's body is changing rapidly and without her control, or consent. That by itself is brutal. She felt safe enough with you to be vulnerable and ask for help dealing with something that makes her feel insecure. She even brought a great idea to the table! You decided to reward her bravery in asking for help, trust, and vulnerability by cracking jokes at her expense. That's beyond cold-hearted.

[@LadyBama]

The acne story really got to me. I had really bad “acne” for almost 20 years, no medication helped. Finally, I found a great Dermatologist. I did not have acne, I was a skin infection!! A 20 year scratching red skin infection!! I had to take 2 different type of antibiotics for a total of 6 months to recover. I was an allergic reaction(pollen )that turned into an infection. I didn’t even buy my senior photo because of my skin. Too many days crying.Finally clear skin by 32 and still today at 53. I can still hear my Dad’s mean comments, like it was my fault!

[@keninam3305]

It’s not really a harmless joke if it harms someone…

[@candiebarr6745]

Who thinks not only commenting on, but making a joke about something a person has no control over and is clearly insecure about is something they should do? And how could they not realize it's an asshole move?

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: YTA. OP planned a welcoming party that son and DIL did not agree to at all. Anyone who is disappointed should take that up with OP. Bravo to son and DIL for not informing the family of the birth. People are allowed to do what they want despite other's feelings, thoughts, and wishes. OP is overbearing, and I am happy that son is siding with his wife 1000%!!!!!!!

[@princessbuttercup3343]

The day I got home from the hospital with my second child, my sisters (I have 5) and their significant others “surprised me” by coming over. There were 3 extra kids there (including my kids there were 5 total) all under 7, and also my friend and her husband came over from a few states away to join in the surprise. I was so stressed! Luckily, my oldest sister could sense I wasn’t having it and gently shooed everyone away. She was the only one with a solid reason for being there, as she was bringing my oldest child home. Always check in with a new mother before coming over! Lol

[@AndyyWithAY]

Of course YTA in story 1. Your reaction definitely proves they were right to do this. You would not take no for an answer. Your DIL told you she wanted a few weeks alone with her son and husband. How can a fellow mother be this clueless and out of touch. Everything she says just makes her more and more an AH. After the trauma of childbirth you must be cruel to even think your DIL would want this and a newborn baby around strangers in a pandemic

[@originalv5107]

“Scamdemic”

[@HinataElyonToph]

Because it’s not about what DIL wants, or even what son wants. It’s always about what MIL wants, obviously 🙄/s

[@Remi1532]

1st story: I worked on medical records and part of that was doing birth and death certificates. You would not believe the people coming in acting like they got a say on anything related to a child they didn't give birth to. Even had a grandmother tell me that this was going to be her child's name....yes her "child". That was a security day. I also never understood waltzing in to see mother and baby minutes after being born. Seriously, give her a break! She just got torn open pushing a watermelon from something the size of a lemon for hours. I wouldn't want to see anyone for weeks either.

[@seangarvey8232]

Depends on the person, but the issue is she was told no. Some people are good with it but once told no that's it. Now that I look this is a year old😅

[@maryjanedodo]

People (grandparents) turn into psychos when babies are happening. Both of my parents lost their marbles when the first grandkid was coming - not unexpected for dad, but definitely was with my usually level headed mom. Hadn't seen so much immaturity since their divorce 10 years earlier - which is a bad look in your 60s...

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 1: Gods below and above OP sounds like she would have thrown one of those old time Edwardian in the birthing chamber salons if she could have. While DIL became nothing more than some kind of exotic entertainment as her as her son's heir was birthed.

[@damien678]

BRUH 💀💀💀

[@sherrygibbs7547]

I have a feeling Overbearing Granny and her partner are the newest members of the JN club. The poor new mom is probably gonna be posting on JNMIL, soon. And, possibly looming at maki g up an F-U binder, along side of a baby book, for her new families journey. That OP sounds rather thick, especially with her doubling down in the comments. She truely doesn't get it, that her "best intentions" are not welcome....rather, they are interferences: unwelcomed and unwanted! The poor new mom may have been pushed out of the hospital, without even getting 24 hours to recover and see her nurse/Dr.

[@smapa1185]

What I don't understand is, this woman is a mother. Doesn't she remember how exhausted and sore she was after birthing her son? Why can't she put herself back in time to realize what the DIL is going throug?. So stupid.

[@iyaayas]

@@smapa1185 In THAT defense. In my younger years, I gave birth vaginally twice, 3 years apart and was back in action immediately after returning home. 14 years later, I was down on myself for feeling like crap during my pregnancy THEN went into labor at 37 weeks (I was unprepared and expected at least one more week) and had a crappy labor and delivery experience resulting in C-Section. Either I remember the past with unrealistic euphoria or my memory is accurate but I was just younger, healthier, and in shape. This baby is a rainbow baby, conceived when I was fat and out of shape (I was trying to get fit when I miscarried and blame myself for possibly causing it at 8 weeks gestation). If. MIL is of my mindset about my early pregnancy, she's probably truly ignorant about pregnancy and delivery in general. I was and I went through it. But yes... MIL is the jerk.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I bet the next post from this Just No MIL will start with this title, Why won't my son talk to me anymore? And then Reddit will respond with this catchphrase, "Well, Well, Well. If it isn't the consequences of your own actions."

[@Tyanna01]

Last story: If you tell a "harmless joke" and it ends up hurting someone, it was neither harmless or a joke. When you accidentally hurt someone you say sorry, even if it's emotional hurt. The concerning thing to me is how OP's daughter and wife went 0 to 100 by this "harmless joke" making me wonder if OP has a history of such "harmless jokes". Is everything they are concerned/self conscious about met with a "harmless joke"? Maybe, but maybe not. Anyway, again, if you hurt someone, even by accident, you say sorry. Full. Stop. Doubling down that the other party shouldn't be hurt b/c you meant it as a "harmless joke" makes you the AH every time in my books.

[@bluebeanie561]

3rd story: Did everyone overlook that he said "sarcastic tone" and not 'jokingly' when he said his "supposed joke." It wasn't a joke as he says. I might understand that he might feel a bit butt hurt that that his efforts (creams) of helping aren't working and his daughter is complaining about them, but the way he went about it is wrong. Facts is the daughter did tried them but she's asking for professional's help.

[@Avrysatos]

I mean it’d be way worse to me if it was in public but among family? It’s just rather tasteless.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Clearly it wasn't a joke, cuz the person who was joked about wasn't laughing.

[@devlyn873]

Can't believe MIL was told no and has still invited family for this welcoming party, and then had the nerve to be offended.

[@jamisonosborne]

Acne, especially in teens and young adults, is often the result of hormones and stress. Diet has very little to actually do with it. Seeing a dermatologist when over-the-counter options don't work is a good idea. Don't be surprised if the doctor refers you to a therapist.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Yeah when over-the-counter stuff doesn't work it either means it's not the right stuff for you or it'll end up going away eventually based on the person's hormones. Whenever I'm stressed I break out like crazy

[@enjolireyes643]

Story 1- MIL and family would be cut off until they can respect my boundaries as a parent. Not even a photograph and automatic trespass if they think they can just stop by to take a peek. Story 2- Expose! Expose! Expose! Those who tolerate thieves deserve to be exposed! NTA and made to pay you back doubly- so!

[@emmys.8323]

There was literally nothing that prompted that “joke” about the daughters acne. As a person who doesn’t have acne, but tends to get pimples easily, I find it really really hurtful when my parents as little as acknowledge them, I’m just like “do you really think I don’t know they’re there?” I’m just here thinking, why do you need to tell me I have them? It’s extremely hurtful when they mention things like that to me, even if they don’t mean it in a bad way.

[@itsjustme7487]

Dad is an AH. That was a rude, crude and a bullying thing to do . Grow up jerk!

[@Daydream_N]

I personally think no one should ever make an comment about someone's physical appearance they can't change immediately. Something in their teeth? Tell them. They got acne? Keep your damn mouth shut.

[@emmys.8323]

@@Daydream_N exactly!

[@pansprayers]

I've never had acne (bizarre, I know, but it's the ONE thing my genetic condition saved me from) beyond the occasional zit every couple of years, but I can't even imagine thinking that verbally saying anything about it to someone who does have it is 'just a joke'. My first thought is always, 'that HAS to be painful' - but I keep it in my head, and only give my opinion on treating it when asked for it.

[@psyolytesaille]

I had people give me unsolicited advice on how to fix mine when working a job. Wasn't like I could leave either and it was customer service so everyone else around hears it. At that point I had already tried most things outside of major stuff like Accutane. Turned out dairy was my main issue for the cystic from 9yo.

[@dracawyn]

Story 1: always so interesting to see a Just No MIL story from the just no's perspective

[@lisakaz35]

Story 1: YTA. This pressure is too much. She did it BECAUSE SHE HAD A BABY. Get over yourself.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

You're right. Grandma had her chance to welcome and raise her children and now it's her son's turn to start a family with his wife. She needs to stop stomping on boundaries if she doesn't want to lose her son, her daughter in law and her grandson.

[@aluralovell6829]

The part that really made me mad was when the mother threw the money at her meaning two things. 1. The sister could have just asked the mother for the money but instead thought it was better to steal from OP and 2. The mother could have just given the sister the money but instead thought it would be better if she let one daughter steal from the other because she didn't have the heart to tell her no. I mean think about that, their daughter has so little respect for her younger sister that her first thought was to steal and was so comfortable doing it that she even asked her mother where the money was, and furthermore as disrespectful ass throwing the money was, mom didn't even think about repaying her daughter in any way until she was called out.

[@Zanzetihunter]

And then everyone telling OP how horrible she was. Makes me wonder what mom told them. Probably how OP was rude and demanded money Or maybe even it was S money and OP was jealous.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Ache is not a laughing matter. It's an almost universal teen experience, but it's incredibly embarrassing. At 30 I still have hormonal outbreaks. It doesn't bother me too much now, but at 16 OMG. It would be devastating.

[@kpeggs82]

I just got to the story. What an AH!!

[@ilbercgross4736]

I thought it was funny as hell. I think it was blown at of proportion. Wss he a bad father? No. He was helping with soaps and creams. Was he making fun of her looks? No. Was he insulting her? No. Had he done any of those, sure, he would have been a terrible father. He did not. Dad should go talk with her and tell her about his acne problems when he was younger. And yes, I made jokes with my daughter during her pimple phase. She cracked jokes right back. My daughter would say something like "at least I am beautiful with or without acne while nothing can help you, dad."

[@Mimiroo]

My dad used to make fun of my acne while I was in my teens and the “jokes” still sting years later. I still remember how random people would make comments about my acne while out for dinner and it made me want to be swallowed by the ground. I tried everything to fix and help it but no skin care routine or products ever worked. I had white heads, black heads, cystic acne (which was VERY painful), shoulder and back acne that made me extremely uncomfortable about my appearance especially as a ballerina. It wasn’t until my mid 20’s when I sought out a dermatologist a year before my wedding and was put on acutane for 8 months. Changed my life! I still get acne from time to time but no where close to what I used to deal with.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Acne can also be really painful depending on how bad it is and what type

[@LadyJoolree]

I've only stopped having acne in my late 40s. It's been mild to moderate though, so I've been lucky. It's horrible as people often feel free to refer to it or make unsolicited recommendations as if you hadn't frickin noticed you had it. Tends to only be those who don't currently have it who joke about it. I just think some people are so insecure they feel better when they put someone else down in as cruel a way as they can socially get away with.

[@magagail]

The last one is really sad. As someone who has HORRID acne, it’s hard for people who haven’t experienced it to understand the emotional impact of having bad facial acne. Like, a lot of people’s first impression of you is that you’re too lazy or too stupid to wash your face right. I honest to god felt bad for making people look at me, that I was so disfigured by acne that I insulted their scenes with my face, that’s how deeply having bad acne cut. It’s clearly a touchy subject to her. And he’s making fun of her for it. Like just shut up and say youre sorry ffs

[@itsjustme7487]

I had frequent adult acne. My loving MIL would say things like "WOW! that's a big pimple. Does it hurt?"

[@dingoatemychild1]

I'm 16 I have pretty bad acne sometimes lol one week i wont have any the next my face is horrible but hes not the ah he mad a joke a JOKE the daughter is fine shes a teen and has hormones going on so its understandable but the mom is a b she called him a bad father for making a joke like cmon it wasnt even that offensive i wouldnt even be offended if he did mean it as offensive people over react so much

[@TsukiKageTora]

Ffs he made a mistake Jokes are hit or miss. You having a horrible time with acne doesn’t make this father making a joke, making a simple mistake, an asshole. Grow up because I doubt you have grown past your teenage years. -said by someone with bad acne STILL and I’m 31 ETA. I said you sound like you haven’t grown past your teenage years, not because of the acne but because I truly find it childish to yell at people who make a mistake like this. He is going to apologize anyways. You treat him as a shit father too (despite him being the one who bought her face acne creams), you sound like the mother who sounds like a person who can’t see past a mistake and seem to forget to be human you make mistakes and you learn from them.

[@meirin5316]

and then he says he can handle criticism.. making it sound like the daughter should have been able to handle it meh

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@meirin5316 I hope you make a mistake and everyone called you a horrible person. It was a mistake and you’re acting as if he slapped her and told her she should have been able to handle it

[@squeakybb]

Regardless of if it was a joke/funny or not it caused harm to someone. You are always responsible for apologizing to someone who was hurt by your words or actions ESPECIALLY if it was unintentional. Be an adult, be emotionally mature, and be better.

[@catandrobbyflores]

It's not a joke unless everybody finds it funny.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Fr, people make bad jokes all the time. Who know what they do when they make one? They apologize and move on! The fact he made this post over seemingly nothing is just smh

[@blacbamboo284]

@@browhattheactualfu-2659 this! The fact that he didn't just insta apologised is what makes him an ass. He want to daddy reddit to whine and find some validation instead of just taking the L and say sorry. Bet wife was mad about more than just the joke.

[@Boe-Temeraire]

The MIL in that first story really needs quite a few hard lessons in boundaries and respecting others.

[@apersonnamedkai817]

OP’s parents in story 2 suck. Im glad the aunt is on her side and letting her stay the night at her place. If my sister did that to either of my niece or nephew I’d go ape shit on her. Im a petty AH though. If I was OP I would have cut all the bristles off on everyone’s toothbrushes including any extra toothbrushes in the house before leaving. 😤

[@SasukeplusSakura]

I’d have been meaner than that by putting the toothbrushes in the toilets with pee in them and then not telling them. Yes gross but a ex of mine did it to his family for defending his sister after he stole from her and she got what he stole back.

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

Story 3: YTA. Making the joke doesn't make OP an AH. Lots of us have made jokes that didn't hit right. It's the fact that he hurt his daughter's feelings, and instead of recognizing that he messed up and apologizing, he doubled down. It's like he's saying, “I’m not insensitive, you're just wrong for feeling hurt.”

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 2 isn't much better for stupid parents. 10 years from now that "mother" is going to be putting up a post asking why her daughter disowned her. I guess "S" is the favourite, a can do no wrong "Golden Child", so the pathetic excuse of a mother is just going to continue enabling the thieving brat. The dad is just as much of a sorry excuse of a parent 🙄. Sorry if that seems harsh, bad pain tonight has made me a little cranky 😂

[@hakudoushinumbernine]

Four years. Shell be out before 20.

[@lorifiedler13]

She'll be wondering why OP wont help post bail for her thieving sister.

[@candiebarr6745]

Mom and sister in the one should be happy it was just the aunt and not the cops. And the sister should feel bad.

[@tiawheeler1153]

In regards to the third story: OP, the thing that makes you an AH in this situation is that upon learning that your statement hurt your daughter, you defensively doubled-down and called it "a harmless joke" instead of apologizing and telling your daughter you didn't mean it that way. Bullies and verbal abusers tend to make nasty and hurtful comments towards things that they perceive people to be insecure about and then claim "it was just a joke/observation" when confronted about that. But do you know what separates a joke from an abusive comment? Delivery. Bad jokes happen, dad jokes (those golden nuggets of hilariously-bad, facepalm-worthy cringe) happen, but it all depends on how it was said. Your "joke" could have came across as a malicious comment. Stop acting immature, give your daughter a sincere apology, and explain that it wasn't your intention to upset her with that. I am not going to make any judgments as to whether you are a bad father or not, but I can assure you that taking shots at something that your daughter can't control and is insecure about will put you on the road to being seen as one since you are (even if inadvertently) damaging her self-esteem. PS: Contrary to what that one commenter said, the wife isn't an AH. She was actually standing up for the daughter. Edit: Just listened to the post's edit: good on you, OP!

[@lisakaz35]

I did have acne issues but worse for me has been my premature declining mobility. I can barely walk or stand up for long. No sense of balance. My (late) father liked being a needler and his retirement hobby was being a drunk. He once said to me "you walk sober the way I walk drunk." Yeah, not good.

[@Swnsasy]

They said, I DO NOT WANT yet the mom just kept on and kept on! Start learning to respect others feelings, wants and needs and things will go smoothly! How many times could they have said NO until she got it? She's 100% the AH and her sense of entitlement is astounding!!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

It sure is. I wouldn't be surprised if the son and his wife cut ties with his Just No Mom. Nor would I be surprised if the next post from this Just No MIL starts with the title, Why won't my son talk to me anymore?

[@Tammohawk1]

1. I don't blame OP's son and daughter in law. First off, one never knows just how a birth is going to go. It can end up being very traumatic and the last thing you want is a party waiting for you. But OP asked, was told no, and decided to not take no for an answer. Now she's all surprised and butt hurt that things back fired. Oh well for her. 3. The Ordinary makes great products that don't cost a fortune. They are very affordable. Minimal packaging, etc... But the gal really should see a dermatologist initially to find out what type of acne she has. That will help determine a better skin care routine for her.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

I agree on story 3! Another good cheap brand with a bunch of options for different skin types is Simple, and they have stuff practically any person could use

[@sarahjaneuldricks6729]

Say it with me, folks: You don't get to decide if someone is hurt by your words.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - the only 'family' being disrespected here is the new one - OP's son and his wife and their new baby. FFS, leave them the hell alone until they are ready to socialize with family. The poor woman just gave birth and doesn't want to play house guest or party guest just so OP can 'show off and welcome' the new baby. Who the hell thinks this is a good idea? What an idiot. Are we taking bets on how long before DIL is posting on JNMIL on reddit? lol

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I bet it won't be long before OP's son and daughter in law make their own post and/ or cut ties with her.

[@alexlibby5087]

As a sufferer of PCOS - don’t joke about acne, ever. Almost 30 and still struggle- it’s not only painful, but incredibly expensive between products, dermatology visits and medications, than the treatments depending on scarring I’ve cried, refused to go out or have pictures (even w/ makeup on bad days), and it stills takes up big portion of my thoughts - every time you meet someone, family members, looking at yourself in the mirror? All becomes about whether they are judging your skin. I can have a perfect routine yet get a breakout - sometimes acne is just out of your control and everyone thinks they know a solution when most of it is old wives tales It’s not funny, it’s not to joke about, it’s a medical condition that affects your face - it’s unrealistic to expect someone to just shrug that off, it becomes a part of your identity and you often find yourself hoping no one notices it Acne freaking sucks, it’s a self esteem crusher so if you love someone, than be sensitive about it alright?

[@krizkatz1574]

Right. It's already bad enough everyone has an opinion on how to magically fix your skin and loves to give it to you unprompted and unasked for, but to have your parent say that.. horrible!

[@rionamcauliffe5469]

The "you should have hidden it better" line in story 2 really got to me. While I was growing up, that was justification for everything: if something was left in a communal area, even if everyone knew it was yours, they would still take it. If it wasn't in a communal area and they knew you had it they'd go looking, and that was the justification if they found it. Both my parents and siblings did this.

[@aubreystalcup5452]

We didn't tell anyone except my aunt and mother when I went into labor because we knew we'd have a slew of people show up at the hospital and I didn't want that. We called everyone when we got home and told them not to come for at least two weeks. Surprisingly everyone respected that.

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Story 3: he’s a complete AH and I think those two commenters that said NTA are the type of people who say mean things to other people and try to excuse it with “iT wAs JuSt A jOkE”

[@Kaiju_Queen94]

Regarding Story 2: I'd love to see how the mom would react to police officers when the sister decides she wants to steal things outside of OP's belongings. Officer: Ma'am we've just caught your daughter committing theft. Mom: Oh Officer I know she was stealing but I just couldn't say no to her.

[@stephanien6237]

😂😂😂

[@devchekhov7512]

Story 2: golden child syndrome stories are so damn painful to hear--I hate hearing about children who are trapped in these dynamics and feel powerless.

[@suruha2306]

OP should have taken out a full page ad in the local paper announcing that her mom and sister stole from her!

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Didn't have the heart to stop her daughter from stealing?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

[@magagail]

“AITA for making a harmless joke” yikes “About my daughter” /Yikes/ “ ‘s acne” *YIKES*

[@carolroberts4614]

Three strikes and that's it!And he's asking if he should apologise!

[@badkitty4922]

As for the dad OP who hurt his daughter's feelings about her acne, I love that he was able to see the hurt he caused and wants to not only repair the damage to her feelings but, I also LOVE the Redditor who gave him such good advice about certain products through Ulta and other places, to try before a Dermatologist appointment. I'm actually going to replay that part and take notes on their recommendations. I'm 53 and still have some skin issues. The charcoal products weren't available when I was most vulnerable but, I've heard great things about them.

[@itsjustme7487]

My adult acne was hormonal.

[@RylieRiddle]

Be very careful with the Biore brand. The bar might be okay but the other products are very fragrance heavy so they may make your skin act out or get worse.

[@muhname6052]

Story one: YTA you asked they said no you pushed. Nephew is a snitch.

[@jaymel4691]

The only times I ever see people use the excuse "it was just a joke!" have been from people trying to justify awful, mean insults and being an asshole.

[@timtompkins8774]

This woman is so self-absorbed about what she wants she doesn't listen when people tell her stuff. They told her they didn't want it and also told her they had to lie about the babies birth because she wouldn't stop pushing. Yet after they told her she's asking why did they do those things?

[@sleepstump]

1st Story: YTA. Bottom Line is that No Means No. You made plans that were entirely contingent on them giving you a Yes, BEFORE you got a Yes. You planned poorly and it's your job to own up to that. Again, when you hear the word No, it means No. Instead, you tried to force your kid to choose between you and his spouse & newborn and for what? Because you want a party? Grow up.

[@mirandanils5114]

Story 3: HONESTLY it’s not a harmless joke. I’m pretty chill and i don’t mind jokes but when it’s about people’s uncontrollable insecurities, no part of it is harmless. A joke isn’t a joke unless everyone is laughing. I don’t think OP is a bad father but I disagree with people saying it’s nbd and a harmless joke. That’s defending bullying behavior and in any capacity it sucks.

[@Daydream_N]

I was surprised he continued to call it harmless considering that his daughter was obviously harmed by it lmao. Whether he intended it to be harmless doesn't matter, his daughter was hurt and he should've apologized immediately. He shouldn't have had several people on the internet calling him an asshole for him to finally apologize.

[@stephanien6237]

The OP from story 1 lacks empathy, wants to control everything, and does not care or respect her son and DIL at all. The fact that she cannot see that the birth of her grandchild is NOT about the grandparents and the rest of the family is wrong and concerning. The fact that she cannot even respect normal infectious prevention guidelines (from prepandemic!) Meant to protect the baby shows that she is so self centered and controlling that she does not care about the health of her grandchild or her DIL.

[@pickle_pup8187]

Story 1 - OP is so much in the wrong it is truly insane. It is clearly beyond me why these MILs(or any female relative) believe that they have the RIGHT to be in the delivery room, demand visiting, give critical parenting “advice”, or believe they have the right to access to the child. They need to be put in their place. The mamas need to find their voice and defend themselves and their baby. PERIOD. How you handle family as it relates to your child/children needs to be addressed PRIOR to getting pregnant. This includes being in the delivery room. If you cannot come to terms over this with your SO, counseling is a must or you might need to end the relationship. Story 2 - OP needs to get a little safe for things she doesn’t want taken including her money. You might consider letting your grandparents/aunt know about the nasty texts you are getting from family. This needs to be shut down and really the only person to get OP’s mom in line is the grandparents. Mom needs to get put in her place by her parents. The sister is going to be in for a very rude awakening when she gets into the real world. People won’t put up with her crap and she might even find herself arrested if she pulls this again. Story 3 - the OP is an idiot. You don’t make fun of someone’s looks or whatever physical struggle they are having. I can state with certainty that his 16 yr old daughter felt humiliated by his lame attempt at whatever “humorous” comment he made. The comments that basically told him that he wasn’t wrong and she overreacted are clueless. Jeez. Grow up and be better.

[@jillb3072]

Story 1: As soon as I announced my pregnancy during my pregnancy and knowing I needed a planned c-section during a pandemic, I told my parents and PIL that no big welcoming parties. We had our first one a month after the birth (but didn't hide my delivery date) - that's the AH thing I see, it was divided by each side of the family and vaccine (since we have passports here) needed and mask for and a set hour period since my cardiac probs make me exhausted and I needed rest and same with baby as she was coming off meds I needed to be on during pregnancy. Story 2: I would've called the cops on sis and mom for theft

[@kristy1653]

Story 1 is absolutely the DEFINITION of a justnoMIL! And a couple years from now she’s going to be asking Reddit again why her son and DIL went no contact and won’t let her see her grandchildren anymore. 😩 Straighten up, lady!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I can see that too. And I wouldn't be surprised if Reddit responded with this catchphrase, Well, Well Well. If it isn't the consequences of your own actions.

[@Mikedeela]

Forcing someone to be at a party they did not want is not kind and respectful. I can fully understand their motivation for not telling them the child had been born. They MIL would not take no for an answer.

[@Citizenesse8]

Story 1 OP - how utterly selfish. I'm so glad that daughter-in-law and son hid the actual birth so they can have some peace and adjustment time.

[@lkayh]

Don’t they tell parents of newborns to keep them away from large groups of people for the first several weeks? Wouldn’t that be the first and best reason to say no?

[@buildtherobots]

Story 1: my mother's description of the week or two following my birth was mostly one of being super exhausted, feeling like garbage, looking like death and general need for recovery -- definitely not a time when she wanted to party or be seen by anyone. Story 3: don't make jokes at your child's expense, especially in response to a request to see a doctor. 110% YTA. People don't forget those kinds of jabs. Dad jokes tend to snowball if used too often. Glad OP seemed to get the message tho and planned to change. It's a good sign.

[@lisawilliams6336]

Story 1: YTA, you spoilt your chance to welcome your grandchild. After giving birth the last thing you want to do is attend a party. I was lucky if I got out of my pj's and brushed my hair for the 1st few weeks. My husband was very good at staggering guests every few days, so I could rest and we could bond with our baby (he did this with all 3).

[@maddy8328]

Story 2, NTA. You exposed a thief and a enabler. The little thief will turn into a big one and will be arrested one day.

[@paulsherman7802]

Air Pods. When you are being abused by family members it is NEVER an AH move to tell someone. It is the only way you have to protect yourself. Good for you and your aunt.

[@sagesaria]

The people in the last story defending OP with "she's just insecure" ...so her being "just insecure" is a reason why it should be fine to make insulting jokes? Please explain this to me.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Yeah especially since teenagers almost always feel insecure because of the nature of puberty

[@kerrysmith7598]

did anyone get the vibe that Dad really didn't think he did anything wrong. doesn't understand the hurt he inflicted, just basically said what people wanted to hear so he's no longer the asshole? that's definitely what I got out of his edit. No remorse at all, it was all so insincere

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

@@kerrysmith7598 I'm so glad someone else caught that vibe.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@kerrysmith7598 Yep, caught that vibe too. I wanted to reply to the dad on Reddit, but I know I would have gotten banned, since the AITA mods seem to be very "don't poke fun at male insecurities!". (Like seriously, I replied to a comment who was calling the woman of the story every variation of bitches, whores, cunts, needs to swallow his load and then kill herself, etc. And I replied with good advice for the woman in the story - about home security... because that was the crux of the story; she was being stalked by her ex who had tried to kill her - but because I said in my reply to her to "ignore the manchild above", *I* was the one whose comment was deleted and I was given a warning that if I ever use the word "manchild" again, I would get a permanent ban. I asked the mod, "but he's cool for calling the OP a cunt, a whore, a bitch, she should KYS, etc??", the mod's answer? "That's different"... uhh huuhhh) But, if I could respond to that disingenuous PoS father, it would be "You say mocking insecurities are just harmless jokes, but yet you get mad when all the women in your life mock you for having the smallest microdick ever? Double standards much?" Because I GUARANTEE if someone mocked him for an insecurity like his tiny dick, he would not laugh it off and call it a harmless joke, even though his tiny dick and her acne are both insecurities that they can't control or change.

[@heathermiller5765]

Just wanted to drop in and say I’m an aunt for the second time! My brother’s girlfriend just gave birth two days ago to little Baby V. They just got home today, so excited to finally see her in person. And now there’s two little girls in the family 🥰

[@pugsabi]

Congrats 🎉 it's so exciting isn't it! Both my siblings gave me nieces last year 2 months apart. I told everyone I met for the next couple weeks. Good luck with the girlies, they are so much fun.

[@heathermiller5765]

@@pugsabi Thanks! Congrats to you too! For last year I mean 😊 I didn’t mention this but one of the little girls is my own lol. My daughter is the first girl born in the family after almost 30 years, so that was exciting. But now she’ll have a little friend in her cousin as she gets older (hopefully) 😁 I was actually 9 the first time I became an aunt, when my older brother had a son. My nephew is 23 now lol 😊

[@joycetaepke2533]

I seriously want to slap the dad who’s daughter has acne upside his head! Men have no clue as to how much their words can weigh on their daughters. They’re the ONE man who should always make them feel beautiful, not tease them for their flaws.

[@SIXPACFISH]

Story 1. Sounds like Grandkaren is That MIL! She needs to chill out if she wants to be a part of her sons life.

[@SecondAccountMP666]

Story 1: YTA and we have the first contender of JustNoMIL of 2022, guys!

[@lauradelacruz8287]

How can a joke be funny when it leaves someone with hurt feelings? Plain and silly cruelty

[@marshmello3455]

Story 1: OP is a crappy, entitled, overbearing, asshole mom. Story 2: OP has a crappy, enabling, favorite-playing, asshole mom. Story 3: OP is being a crappy, insensitive, unsupportive, asshole dad. I'm glad he reevaluated and was willing to recognize his mistake when called out. Of the three, he's the least asshole-ish parent in this collection.

[@psygaud]

Omg, I stole some Halloween candy from my brother when I was a little kid (I was not very sneaky lol) and got grounded for MONTHS. I can't imagine having a mother that cares so little about her daughter that was stolen from. And then to act like a child when she gets called out on it. If "she didn't have the heart" to say no, then she should have given the brat daughter money herself instead of stealing it from the other daughter. It also says a lot that the one daughter is so comfortable telling her mom she's stealing. Wow.

[@stephanien6237]

To be clear: that mother doesn’t care about either of her children. She doesn’t care about the child who was stolen from and she doesn’t care enough about the child who did the stealing to actually parent her correctly. She’s raising a sociopath who will end up in jail when she steals as an adult.

[@Dragon-di1zg]

Story 1: I had three babies, the last thing I wanted was a bloody party immediately after being discharged from the hospital. All the new parents want to do is go home and shut out the rest of the world for a while to concentrate on healing and the new baby.

[@rosaazure]

Acne joke - The joke was inappropriate, then OP double down by refusing to apologize. When the daughter asks for a dermatologist it's not the time to crack jokes, she may have been bullied in school about the acne. Sometimes the over the counter topical medications make things worse by drying out the skin. Or as someone who had horrible acne for years, some pimples hurt. I wish I had a Dr. Pimple Popper when I was a teenager.

[@nadine8078]

Oh the acne story reminded me of when I was younger. I was lucky never to to have chronic acne, just ever now and then one of those massive cystic ones that hurt like a mother. My dad wasn’t in my life, but my maternal grandparents were almost like parents to me..saw them daily. My grandpa was a quiet introverted man (Mexican…shy with his English so didn’t talk much) but had the most loving heart. One day he saw me and I had a big zit and unsolicited gave some home remedy his sisters used (egg whites) to clear it up. I was MORTIFIED. Longest conversation with him and it was over acne, and grandparents are supposed to notice flaws!! 😆 later on when I was older he also asked if was going to get my unibrow waxed when I got my hair cut, wtf 😳 grandpa? I loved him dearly ..taught me to drive, fish, etc..my best friend and apparently beauty advisor.

[@damealeta3541]

1st Story: I actually had a MIL something like that. She arranged an engagement party for her son and I by telling his brother's wife I wanted it at her place! I never said that! SIL was taken aback but was kind and said she would host it. I was so stunned I didn't know what to do. We put our foot down on baby visits before she even arrived. This kind of MIL is a nightmare!

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

Oh hi, Mark! Hope you're well! I just got out the gym. Honestly I listen to you so much that my American English is turning more English English.... I have ASD and tend to mimic accents and speech patterns without meaning to. Had to explain what "skint" meant to 3 different people. Not complaining though, I kinda like it. Much love!

[@EveryDayALittleDeath]

I do that too!

[@clairebear-96]

Lmaoo I’m autistic too and do the same thing

[@danger0Robertson]

I thought everyone did this 😳

[@iyaayas]

Story 1: The best, most respectful Welcome Home party in this situation is one celebrated by the extended family WITHOUT Newborn, Mom, or Dad (Dad chooses to attend or not). EF Celebrates together and gifts can be dropped off at Newborn's porch. A church hubby and I are visiting (Sun Mornings only from Jan to end of Feb) did this in lieu of a planned baby shower. Hubby and Baby's Siblings went to express appreciation on my behalf. There's no way I'd be in any condition to be present a week after giving birth much less the same day or day after. At most, I'd greet party attendees then take baby and go to bed. If they keep knocking on door and pestering me, I'd go to my neighbor's house to seek temporary refuge.

[@impagain]

Story 1: YTA. People hate having patties forced upon them. My grandma died a week before her 90th, and the working theory was because she really, really didn't want the 90th birthday party her family was setting up for her.

[@shizanketsuga8696]

The most enraging thing in the last story is the father's utter stupidity. The daughter is asking for help with something that is clearly affecting her sense of self-worth. She even specifically says what kind of assistance she needs, but he is like: "Nah, _instead_ of what you asked for what you _really_ need is somebody making _you_ the butt of their stupid jokes, because you are _clearly_ not humiliated enough yet." And he thinks his wife and daughter are party poopers for not getting his _clearly_ genius-level comedy! I hope she inherited her intelligence from the mother's side of the family.

[@pagee7452]

Call the cops on her and have her arrested for stealing

[@DestinationsChronicles]

First story? The Grandma from hell! "It's all about ME!"

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

Story 1- I hope the DIL go No Contact with the her Karan of MIL.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - so S is golden child and OP is just the afterthought. these parents are monsters to allow this shit to go on and only mad now that other family (aunt) knows what trash they are! OP is NTA by any means and maybe needs to work with aunt to live there semi-permanently, or at least leave all her things there so that S cannot get her hands on anything ever again! What a shitty family poor OP has!

[@g.b569]

For Story 1, it makes sense that the mother and father want to have a few weeks with their newborn, especially if they are new parents. While family is great for support, they need to get a routine established. Plus the baby’s immune system is not great and will need some time. Also a party right after coming home from the hospital?! That is insane. A woman needs to recover from giving birth, and if it’s a cesarean, she’d need even longer. Some of the things to consider from recovery from a birth: sleep deprivation, horomones, soreness, feeding of the baby, and any other issues. The thought of a party is a nice idea but the parents already said no so OP overstepped BIG time. How about a party when the baby is older and plus the baby will be seen by relatives at gatherings later? This woman is definitely the AH

[@GDMendezWrites]

The story 3 dad and the first commenter who said he wasn't the asshole are the kind of people who would bully others in school everyday and get away with it because, "It's just a joke, bro." 😒

[@myopiniondoesntmatterh9073]

Is a joke harmless if it causes someone to feel bad? That dad needs to reevaluate what "harmless" actually means. His joke clearly harmed his daughter's emotional state as well as his relationship with his daughter.

[@polarbearhero9803]

Story 3: I hope the wife remembers this in twenty years when hubby has problems getting it up and she starts cracking jokes about it. See how much he likes the “joking”.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 3: YATA! What you did was cruel, wrong, and insensitive! It was not a harmless joke!

[@BraveryWing26]

I am so glad 3rd OP apologized.

[@keepdancingmaria]

Newborns barely have an immune system. A "Welcoming Party" will give the baby more than love. Possibly fatal. Also, New Mom needs rest and care.She just pushed a football out of an opening the size of a hotdog. Weird that MIL doesn't remember either of those things.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 3: Your wife is right. You ARE a bad father. Not necessarily for making the joke, but for doubling down and being an utter conkwocket after you made your daughter so upset.