My Ex Wife Cried to have me back, after i Filed for Divorce and Living Happily with Someone else...

My Ex Wife Cried to have me back, after i Filed for Divorce and Living Happily with Someone else.
Timestamp-
0:00 - Story 1
7:18 - Story 2
#redditrelationship #redditupdate

[@nicknitro86]

If my wife ever told me I was her settle, she never actually loved me, and only married me out of desperation AND had an affair on top of all of that... seems VERY black and white to me. Shared pet custody is the dumbest reason to keep contact, either give up the pet or keep it.

[@thousandyardgavri2785]

id keep it. she doesnt deserve happiness. not even one ounce

[@terickastidbits2342]

Facts!

[@Zellonous]

He's a weak Corn addict.

[@watermia]

he is the pet

[@yuvrajagarwal6816]

@@watermiafact

[@viatheanimator]

how is everyone blaming OP in the second story? i guarantee if it was a woman who had previously slept with half the office and hid it from her new boyfriend the comments would be all about “lying by omission” and “she’s gonna cheat with them”

[@Quanbe77]

True the least the bf could have done was to apologize to his gf for that …

[@gwenrichard7507]

My exact thoughts. I fell into the red pill community and I just hear "my relationships don't define me" and "Body count is irrelevant" This guy needs a wake up call, if it hurts your feelings, you have regret. If you have regret, she can have it too. His coworkers seem to be hinting at something ongoing. I've only seen friends act this way among girls. Where the single friends will try to break up the friend in a relationship so they can party more. If he is insecure about his past, he needs to say it without attacking her for not knowing.

[@celestialsoldier622]

What alternate dimension are you living in where REDDIT of all places would shame a WOMEN for sleeping around? Reddit no matter the gender (Based off this post) will defend being a complete Wh**re because everyone on Reddit is one too. I'm seen many guys get called insecure incels for not liking hearing about his girlfriend/wife's past.

[@dancingqueen5428]

Both are in the wrong, but it’s the double standard that OP is holding. She stated that there’s no way Ben could sleep with the other girls without feeling anything, and yet she also had a one night stand that she didn’t have feelings for, stating Ben as the first boyfriend she had. So knowing that, she can’t really be mad and assume he has feelings. About everything else, yeah she’s entirely justified except for calling him a slut in front of everyone.

[@jwo122]

people aren't expected to disclose their entire sex life prior to their current relationship unless they have a conversation agreeing to do so. it's not like the bf was a sex worker or did crazy kinky shit. and this holds for both sexes. if body count is important to her she shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who she already knew had a high body count. she called her bf the office slut in front of his coworkers. the mature response would have been to wait until they were home to address her feelings to her bf. it's obvious the bf isn't proud of his high body count and prefers to keep it on dl. she has the right to feel anger but this also means she shouldn't be in a relationship with a man with a high body count if she can't handle it.

[@ts25679]

If you lie about something that important and then your partner finds out they have every right to be upset.

[@crossanddream2]

First story: It's sad what happened to op, I understand that he did lie but it wasn't like he was cheating. He was a child who went through that and it's near impossible to say anything. I know from experience, someone could easily just say "it's just your child's imagination". It's amazing that he was able to get help, and what his ex-wife did was horrible and there was no justify her actions. Though I am happy that op found someone new to love despite all that happened.

[@9276l]

He was cheating though

[@crossanddream2]

@@9276l when?! The ex-wife was the one who was cheating

[@Taveren]

​@@9276lno he was watching porn, SHE cheated... jesus you are very much a white knight huh

[@Atomskayser]

@@9276l He wasn't though.

[@factoryofdivisiveopinions]

​@9276l how? The wife was the one who cheated.

[@justablackscreen9832]

Second story: So the picture i have in my head is he is standing in the room with his hands in his pockets and barely responds to her concerns and then he says "are you done? Are you leaving or not because this is the stupidest fucking reason to break up" Someone give this woman some self respect because she clearly has none

[@elizabethbarajas4863]

Omg that's literally exactly what i was imagining, plus him not even looking at her and acting all annoyed/inconvenienced the whole time

[@randomperson8405]

I mean, she stole his car and blew up at him over something that happened outside of their relationship. I ask you to find me a human that would not be annoyed or angry at that kind of behavior from their partner.

[@elizabethbarajas4863]

@@randomperson8405 yeah that's fair. I feel like they both could've handled it better, though I guess that final confrontation was a bit more iffy because he had a week to cool down. We don't know what was going through his head at the time though, or what kind of person he is, so maybe it's a bit harsh to judge his character so quickly. Besides, we're seeing these interactions through her eyes and eyewitness testimony (haha a bit of a dramatic term for this but idk what else to use) isn't always reliable.

[@justablackscreen9832]

@@randomperson8405 she at least apologised about it and showed remorse. Just because it was outside of the relationship doesn't mean he didn't lie about it

[@randomperson8405]

@@justablackscreen9832 I would say there is a difference between a lie, and not presenting all the facts. One is clearly more immoral than the other.

[@gwenrichard7507]

2) "my FRIENDS were just joking around" They are either warning her or trying to "get their friend back". I'd ask him who is the punchline in that joke because it wasn't him. If it was he wouldn't call them friends.

[@Vikashar]

2nd story: You don't have to tell your partner your entire sexual history, unless that is something you both specifically ask for. However, if your partner is going to be at a party with your past hookups and lots of people who know about it, you should tell them ahead of time so they don't get blindsided and embarrassed. It's humiliating to be in that position. The insult and forcing an apology by threat of breakup were also out of line, I think. Imho, both are TA.

[@georgidimitrov836]

I think a few of his "friends" at work as also TA, those kind of "jokes" and teasing are for the bros at pubs, not for blindsiding an unsuspecting SO.

[@Vikashar]

@@georgidimitrov836 Agreed

[@taylorbates5669]

Agreed

[@ultraboy2669]

Story 2 that shit show of a relationship is definitely not lasting 😂

[@Alexa-hm3gl]

Yup there just different and have different point of views😂

[@mhawkins829]

Second story: If that was a guy slut shaming his partner in front of her co-workers you guys would be screaming to break up with him. He didn’t lie, he withheld information that happened before she go involved with him. She has a right to be upset with him for that but she had no right slut shaming him and taking his car.

[@Sa_mageste_le_roi]

Your comment in one of the only ones I'm accepting

[@insipidharpoon982]

I say at that point, slut-shame both sexes. Seriously, at what point is it okay to just call a slut exactly what they are? It’s so disgusting, regardless of whether it’s a man or woman doing it

[@Sa_mageste_le_roi]

@@insipidharpoon982 Apparently this needs to be said but being disrespectful to someone for making a decision that does not effect you, that you do not agree with is a shitty thing to do

[@krulak292]

Better question is why is she complaining? She didn't have the dignity to close up the relationship, she did this to herself. But regardless if they close it up, I wouldn't trust the women around him nor him to stay loyal. Slut is always a slut. Not boyfriend material at all.

[@CanadianGreekhoplite]

Lie of omission is still a lie, it's his own fault that didn't tell her that he slept with a bunch of people in the office. That's REALLY weird to do especially if you see them all the time why wouldn't you let your significant other know this? She wasn't even mad that he slept around but that he straight up lied to her about it.

[@demonlolz543]

Dude in the second story is such a crybaby… “waah… this is the stupidest reason”, “I used to be a fuckboy but now i’m just sad”. This sex positivity shit is really getting to me. Like the past is the past, it doesn’t matter. Like it’s informing of your character, and the fact that you can’t take responsibility of your past shows you haven’t learned anything. Also how are you not going to tell your partner about any ex’s or ex-flings you’re regularly in contact with.

[@TomasM303]

Fr that shit is just disrespectful and weak, regardless of weather it’s the bf or gf.

[@Olimar92]

Especially when the dude knows his friends like to fuck with him, and his GF was going to be in the same room as the previous girls.

[@carbon7536]

2nd story boyfriend is a total ah. Refused to acknowledge that he did blind side and it was wrong

[@acephantom903]

To me it sounds like miscommunication which was finally fixed in the end when they both had cool heads.

[@MA-ti5eo]

I don't think OP is the AH in the second story. He lied by omission knowing it was a possibility OP would find out

[@peterrj1973]

He wasnt forced to tell her plus that was slut shaming, is logical that he may be angry if your partner called you a slut infront of everyone, plus they werent anything, he wasnt cheating, maybe if he was, but not the case so yeah she is the ah

[@MA-ti5eo]

@@peterrj1973 so are you choosing to overlook the fact that he did lie by omission knowing he was bringing OP into a situation where she could and did get caught off guard by this? Solely because you disagree with how she handled it? Not to say you have to agree with this standpoint on the situation but the way I look at it is I have far more respect for someone who can articulate how they feel and be truthful even if it can be hurtful over someone who omits the truth to save face or spare feelings. I do also respectfully want to ask: How would it make you feel in your relationship to hear something like that from your SO's friends/co workers rather than hear it from them on top of the fact that they were the ones who brought that situation onto you? Would it be fair to expect you to handle it with 100% dignity and grace?

[@peterrj1973]

@@MA-ti5eo i would probably talk with my partner after the moment and not leaving them stranded in the middle of the place, or just ask to leave with them, or just leave but not taking his vehicle

[@MA-ti5eo]

@@peterrj1973 I agree those are all good options but thats much easier said than done especially when you are sprung into that situation. It is also hypocritical to expect OP to privately pull her BF aside and talk to them about the situation when he didn't give her that same respect in letting her know before hand.

[@TheSergio1021]

@@peterrj1973 slut shaming is a good thing and I wont let the internet gaslight me into thinking otherwise

[@thousandyardgavri2785]

I dunno OP 2 reacted like a human. He could've prepared her

[@TheSergio1021]

correct, she reacted like a human, but of course only the terminally online or helplessly liberal want us to not react like humans.

[@user-vq8lp3nc4j]

In second story, she's definitely not the one to blame. While the comment was mean, it's by no means anywhere as bad as finding out her man fucked half of his office and didn't even tell her because "muh, they weren't my girlfriends anyway". What's next - "sorry I fucked this girl behind your back, but it's not like we were in a relationship or something, it was just a fling, don't be unreasonable"? I guarantee you that if she was a man and he was a woman, people would be freaking out and telling to break up. Honestly, the girls only fault is getting into her 1st relationship with a man who has like 100 times more experience than her, and not someone more on the same level as her. Even if they get past this particular case, I dont think she'll be fine with him having all those previous hookups and not telling her about them. I know if I had a girl like that I would never stop second-guessing her - "did she hook up with this guy before and not tell me? does she still have some feelings for them? how do i know shes not lying? she didnt tell me before, maybe this time she also thinks its unnecessary" type of deal. I dont think they're cut out for each other

[@duheebf7dw]

Im pooping.

[@insaniayt7824]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oGHRq6esl8xsgacsi=ddbKW_ahg38-KFMf This was too fitting

[@ronaldocruz4594]

Wtf lmaooo

[@zanderschmer-lalama15]

Same here bro

[@Alexa-hm3gl]

Plug plug😂

[@stronkman9157]

Hope you're doing well

[@victoriajolly247]

Sorry don't agree with everyone blaming OP in story 2. Bf should of giving her the heads up about the fact he slept with a bunch of girls from his office. Like she said it wasn't about him sleeping around before her that upset her, it's the fact that he hide it from her that hurt and put her in the position at the party she should of never of been in. Plus him claiming he didn't tell her when they had their previous relationship talk was because they weren't relationships just sex parnter is a major cop-out. If he willing to lie/hide this from her, what else could he not be telling her.

[@putent9623]

Dunno but me personally, if someone I was in a relationship with asked for my relationships I wouldn't start listing out every single hole my penis has entered, you get what I mean? Although he seems like a ass hole for how he handled it.

[@jannalewis858]

Exactly

[@acupofteabagyoutube9540]

Love the consistency in the upload schedule

[@vikafigol3397]

I'm actually pretty dissapointed with OP from 2nd story. She value herself less, than relationship with someone who lied to her and didn't even apologize for it. And she's getting TA, just because her boyfriend can't admit his fault, even when he KNEW OP cares about that stuff before hand. I can't feel anything but sorry for her. I hope she will finally starts to value herself more than some lying piece of crap

[@putent9623]

But she herself knew he had sex with people he hasn't told her. She asked for partners not bodies. And worse yet is why she exploded, she couldn't be mature about it.

[@vikafigol3397]

@@putent9623 she DIDN'T knew, because he lied to her, she literally knew only about one of them. He lied to her, knowing that she clearly told him that she care about that and he still lied. She couldn't be mature? The only thing she did wrong was to call him a slut, but she was under emotions, and you call her immature? Why? Is mature people now suppose to suck up their feeling and emotions, because others don't like it and be with someone who clearly don't care about her enough to tell truth OR AT LEAST APOLOGIZE, when he ALSO was in the wrong?

[@nathengriffiths-holland7038]

@@vikafigol3397not bringing up irrelevant information isn’t lying by omission, it’s not informing OP about his past. True he was keeping it a secret but I’d personally find it weird if someone I dated randomly said I slept with 3 people before you. The OP of the story isn’t angry at him lying she’s angry that he didn’t inform her on all the people he’s slept with which comes from a place of insecurity more than anger. People get a bit insecure about previous relationships from time to time that’s normal and should be something a couple talk about and fix but it’s the way it’s handled which determines who’s wrong. If OP talked about this when they got home and was angry I’d understand but badmouthing him to his boss and coworkers because of it is a red flag and before you say if the sex’s were revered I’d be on OP’s side I wouldn’t, my ex had fucked 2 other people before me and I knew one of them, I felt a little insecure but I talked to her about it when we went back to her’s so I could get my feelings out she listened to me and acknowledged my feelings blocking and deleting his number after because it was just a hook up and she wasn’t friends with him. Note I didn’t ask her to do that she did it to show me she loved me

[@DeepDownInTheOcean]

OP in second story is getting called the AH because she didn't know her man was the pass-around. Sure, she reacted childishly, but what would others do in that situation? He pretty much said he didn't trust giving her that information because he doesn't know how she'd react. I'm sure people would love to hear that information from their partners instead of some strangers she doesn't know. I'm also sure that she was even angrier at the fact that the girl she was hanging with previously slept with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend doesn't trust her and she doesn't value herself. The way he talks just tells me he doesn't care about her. She cares about him, but she just doesn't know how to express that. That relationship is destined to end in toxicity. Edit: Fxckboys have a habit of sleeping with women simply because they want to and judging by his choice of women, he's not doing it because he liked them, he's doing it because he feels like it.

[@nathengriffiths-holland7038]

@@DeepDownInTheOcean to be honest feeling uncomfortable and being mad are understandable and in all honesty completely fare, hearing your partner had past lovers or just hook ups is always going to make some people uncomfortable and that just natural but the thing I do call her the AH for is acting out in front of work colleges and his boss because that can massive impact his professional life/ job in general. If she said something when they were in the car or at home then I think she’d have been a bit justified and to be fare that’s what he was angry about tho I do understand why she was angry and I do feel he was a bit in the wrong but I do see where he’s coming from No ones is completely in the right or completely in the wrong, they both F’d up in one way or the other

[@peeonthe3rdrail414]

Story 2: ESH. Him for not disclosing, her for stealing his car and acting like a child.

[@DaShikuXI]

"I learned adult content could be seen as cheating". Ain't no way any sane person thinks that.

[@BoHal4]

nope just the insane or soulless. Was just the reason to actually cheat

[@EternalLight111]

Watching adult content is cheating goofy. You are physically desiring other women and pleasing yourself to their bodies, when you should only be doing that with your wife. You people lack morals

[@SwiftSly22]

It’s just adult entertainment, nothing more.

[@noahhabbershaw8177]

​@@dddaaa6965would cheating also be having female friends? Would cheating to you be following someone on insta ?

[@SneakNationCEO]

Story 1: I feel genuinely bad for OP. Though things turned out great for him, he didn't have to go through all that trouble. He was actually remorseful for hiding about his past, and even took full responsibility. She went on and self-indulged while he gave more and more of himself to the marriage. Story 2: OP was the AH in that situation, but not overall. Shouldn't have made that comment during the office party. There's a time and place for everything. He repeatedly lied by omission and showed no care or concern for her feelings. She also needs to respect herself more. She needs to cut her losses and stop dating the office mattress. No good can ever come from dating a slut. If sex with other women means nothing to him, sex with her probably means little to him too.

[@Alexa-hm3gl]

Totally agree with you on the 2nd story like get some respect girl

[@lillypharaoh5945]

I think the problem with story 2 is the hypocrisy I agree with your point but for BOTH men and women, no good comes from dating a wh*ore but that applies for both men and women however if anyone caught you saying what you said about the guy in story 2 about women you'd be committing social suicide.

[@TheIronwil]

Story 1: I’m only 3 minutes in, and am horrified that OP is so down on himself. Adult content isn’t cheating. Hiding it from your spouse is unhealthy, and he should have been honest about it… but his wife also kept huge secrets. She still wanted her ex when they married, and was pressured into it by her family. I’d consider this FAR worse than watching adult content in secret.

[@HippieInHeart]

Wtf are those comments on the second story? She was 100 % in the right and did not do anything wrong. Like, you know, it's not a big deal, just talk about previous sexual encounters, simply to avoid the other person getting blindsided. Like, you know, of course I told my wife about my previous gfs and other sexual encounters, same as she did with her previous stuff. It's all stuff that happened before we even got to know each other, so it's not harmful for the relationship but still useful to know if situations like the one described in the story ever arise.

[@iamobviously7595]

yup, and you just know that if genders were swapped the entirety of reddit would be flaming the gf for sleeping with 4 coworkers

[@alwaysright3943]

But if it were a guy finding out his gf used to be the town bicycle he’d get called toxic and insecure and small dick energy. The boyfriend did absolutely nothing wrong.

[@AllEy3s0nMe]

@@iamobviously7595 Lol lets swap the genders then. The boyfriend calls her a slut in front of coworkers. Steals her car and leaves her stranded at the party. He would be called toxic and abusive. When she does the exact same thing, somehow the guy is still in the wrong.

[@iamobviously7595]

@@AllEy3s0nMeso the lack of communication associated with finding out your partner had 4 separate encounters is outweighed by the lack of communication associated with driving home from the party without your partner. i dont think this take is acknowledging the problem with the relationship

[@AllEy3s0nMe]

​@@iamobviously7595 Two wrongs make a right? Your inability to put blame on the girlfriend and minimizing what she did speaks volumes. I guarantee you would be calling this guy a little bitch if he was complaining about the girlfriends past encounters.

[@esnatzea]

2 story: when you think the situation you are in is sh*t, but it is actually deep sh*t.

[@GRIEVERPRIME]

Ben from second story was 28 metres

[@Sonic546416]

How the hell is everybody getting mad at OP in second story??????

[@slimguy94]

OP in second story is a doormat for letting herself get treated like that

[@ElijahThompson-ns5hg]

Lol am I the only one who heard 28 meters 😂

[@yuvrajagarwal6816]

The second story is how most of the issues in a relationship should end, by talking it out. Only if couples talked more, most of their problems would have been solved almost instantly.

[@Luciellin]

The second story just made my blood boil, I am so annoyed.

[@tcherlesonravel9117]

You know, reddit didn't help the second story op, they just put her on a bad position, she is with a fuckboy who lied to her and omitted essential information, and not only that, he keep saying that this was "not important because it was before" and "didn't make diference", who says that when the partner is clearly upset with this? He didn't even apologised, this guy is a walking red flag.

[@TheSergio1021]

She said "slut" once and reddit did what reddit does

[@blue_leafs]

Story 2: that boy is gonna cheat and OP is gonna forgive him and will also apologize because that's how dumb she is.

[@kjabber7245]

It pisses me off to no end when people say a partner's past is not someone's business. EVERY relationship/fling a person has impacts ALL future relationships. That is some BS to say "it didn't matter". Most issues that relationships have today are because of previous relationships/flings. At a minimum, it keeps people from bonding properly. And honesty is the only way to compensate.

[@reiryghts639]

Lol, i knew it, the fact that he was her second choise

[@Theyreallyfooledyou]

I hope I never meet people like the couple in the 2nd story. I hate them both 🤣

[@Baba_Yaga_123]

Working with multiple ONS and not telling your partner is a sin of omission

[@jannalewis858]

Second story she did nothing wrong he should have told her and he should have apologized

[@kagome1000o]

I don’t think of he is wrong and the second story because what her boyfriend did he lied? He didn’t understand at all or why she was upset. He asked her what knowing he had done this would have done it would’ve kept her from being blindsided and he still didn’t understand where he was in the wrong. They were both in the wrong for their reactions, but the fact that he didn’t apologize is astounding.

[@kossettereaditte7552]

Im happy the second story had a somewhat mature outcome

[@Black-Rose12]

In story 2: If you had a fucboy past and I knew about it I would absolutely bring it up since I love history so much and will tell you kids about it too anytime you try to scold them for doing the same shit

[@kunalsharma380]

There is a strong correlation between trauma and porn addiction. The only weird thing is that how the woman was able to equate the guy lying about that to marrying a person who she did not love lol. Also, I would choose a partner who is a porn addict over a partner who is a cheater every fucking time. (I know either option is unhealthy but just for the sake of the argument)

[@boo5274]

11:35 its called lying by omission. Yes it still counts as lying and his partner had every right to be upset

[@MamaMargie]

Second story: Girlfriend is annoying. She was acting too familiar with his coworkers. She was rude and attempted to hurt him professionally. Also took HIS car. Bet she lives in HIS home not hers.

[@smo_phoenix]

Guy is the second story is a manipulative monster

[@kunalsharma380]

Ben is 28 meters?!!!

[@user-xd8ud8kk2s]

In story 2 the BF is not in the wrong. She asked about past relationships not past sexual partners. She over reacted like a child and then took his vehicle and left him stranded for no reason other than she wanted the power trip over him.

[@Conqueror25]

My boyfriend 25 Metres 😭😭😭. AI is AI

[@FatFetus37]

Hold on, he didnt leave her after she said he was second choice?

[@CanadianGreekhoplite]

Second story NTA, that feels realllly sketchy of your boyfriend not to mention that he's slept with a bunch of people from his office and see's them regularly. Honestly it's his fault he shouldn't have lied.

[@RylieRiddle]

S2: OP did react wrong but so did Boyfriend. Ffs, you slept with many girls at that party at some point and don't think to tell your girlfriend "hey I slept with these girls going to this party. It was a long time ago butnyou should know. My idiot friends might joke about it." Just so OP could then ignore the friends cracking jokes.

[@user-go4ut5zo1w]

Ben, twenty eight meters

[@nathansteele4358]

wtf why is everyone blaming the girl in the second story??

[@tempermode]

Is it reasonable to assume that your partner would want to know about your past exploits? Isn’t it reasonable to think that they may not want to know if they haven’t asked?

[@erickaennis2738]

Sounds like OPs boyfriend was already a running joke in the office. And his very casual attitude about bringing his girlfriend around his past sexual partners was disrespectful. Even knowingly letting herhang with Monica all night was not ok. What is Monica's end game. There is no such thing as just sex. One of those girls caught feelings. She's the only one not in on the secret. That's awful. NTA. I'd dump him. He's untrustworthy.

[@gabbidurham]

Omitting the whole truth is a lie

[@ChubbyHubby00001]

Story 2: Women complain all of the time that their past shouldn't dictate their current relationship. So hearing this just sounds like nonsense. It's in his past and should only be a big deal is it's happening DURING the relationship. This is why he disclosed the relationship with Steph, because he understood upon discussion that it was wrong. So yeah, she's the a-hole.

[@frostbitten2598]

That's a pretty big dude.

[@pyschohysteria1363]

Second story: HE 👏 DIDN'T 👏 HIDE 👏 ANYTHING 👏 FROM YOU 👏👏👏 Quit using that as your way to justify your actions and quit saying you're not trying to justify your actions. His past is none of your business and vice versa. What you tell each other is priviledged information and shouldn't be used as a basis for an arguement. It's borderline gaslighting whether you realize it or not. Get out of that habit. You're both TA and have things to work on in the future, whatever it ends up being. You're better than this.

[@arhael3594]

My boyfriend Ben 28 meters. :)

[@Worrisomewolf]

Song?

[@lukejayfrost825]

Damn 7:23 the boyfriend was 28 meters

[@lazydicc]

28 meters

[@aged_balloon_popping]

Dang, she had a 28-meter boyfriend??

[@TheSergio1021]

women, amirite. The average guy dont stand a chance.

[@nulla5136]

Damn, the guy slept with four girls before his wife. Imagine if one of those had some STD and it passed down to the wife? Finished the video, and I'm happy they still maneged to stay together.

[@Alexa-hm3gl]

She's not his wife she's a gf

[@kimmogensen5390]

show weakness to a female and she will immidiatly loose all respect and move on.....

[@raejeanie9480]

The second story hurts to hear because OP is dealing with a classic narcissist and was taking advice from angry/heartbroken/narcissistic Redditors who barely know how to identify main idea, context clues, supporting arguments, and chronology in a damn story. Hurts to read/listen to

[@darkness5019]

In story 2 honestly if you’re working with people that you had sex with you should let your gf know honestly

[@superaloha_2371]

I hate story number 2 🤣

[@jjujji4908]

If op from story two was a guy everyone would side with them

[@mrdevilish1056]

In story 1-As a former Jehovah witness i believe that the pressure for OP's wife to marry OP is mainly the mothers own volition rather than the pressure from the religion. I speak from experience, with my father being controlling and strict as hell

[@Bori.1776]

Nah, redditors a as usual having L takes since none of them have actual relationships. He was the office sluuut

[@lawsonallen7741]

You needed to Divorce sooner.

[@thusky4399]

I don't usually comment on reddit youtube reposts but I gotta say, Story 2 brings something I saw and experienced at least 90% of the time about teachers (if not more in my life so far, I'm 31), I almost never saw a teacher (primary or highschool) who wasn't immature in some way, regardless of their age, it's just something that comes with the job it seems? Or is it maybe the environment that spills and influences the person, who knows... I just have an automatic red flag trigger no matter how a conversation has been going whenever I hear the person's job being a primary/highschool teacher, it's more guilty until proven innocent than anything else... Anyone else feeling that way? PS: I don't have any particular bad experience with teachers in general, just something I've been feeling with most teachers I've met so far, maybe I remember negatives more than positives, the brain has a tendency to do that...

[@randomperson8405]

Having worked as a teacher in many schools, I can tell you this; the most immature people I worked with where adults, not children.

[@putent9623]

Damn

[@thusky4399]

@@randomperson8405 A sad occurrence indeed...

[@randomperson8405]

​@@thusky4399 Had this one guy build a shed in his classroom that he told the idiots in senior leadership was a 'virtual reality chamber'. He just shoved kids in there that he didn't like so he didn't have to deal with them in the lesson. When called out on this he tried to ruin the reputation and career of the person who called him out on it. What makes this so egregious is the person whose reputation he was ruining was his mentee, and they could lose their entire career from 1 bad review from him as they were in their NQT. Guy was a baby on a power trip.

[@thusky4399]

@@randomperson8405 I feel that story, I had a neighbour (highschool teacher) who wouldn't let me talk whenever I passed by him on the street (just chit chat) one day I just decided to cut him short (which I admit was a bit disrespectful, I just was too lazy to entertain and not being able to say my piece, you know how it can be), he made a scene saying no one ever dares to talk over him, I just kept walking while he stood there rambling about order and stuff, had to prevent myself from answering: "And you're a teaching kids with that mindset, geez should have been a prison guard or something.". I guess I wasn't being 100% truthful about not having a bad experience myself, I'd call it a mildly annoying one.

[@brianarnold8666]

Who the hell thinks watching corn is cheating? Wtf?

[@AllHopeIsLost1134]

You must not know many women, then.

[@brianarnold8666]

@@AllHopeIsLost1134 on the contrary ive talked abiut it with multiple women and ive never once heard anyone say they see it as cheating. Hell, most of them watch it themselves

[@Millions13]

#2 she really does not have a backbone because idon't know why but it's so rude to just say I didn't think it was important to say that to you because I wanted you to enjoy the time like bro she's your girlfriend and you slept with four girls at your workplace and you brought your girlfriend there she was bound to find out that you did not tell her that you slept with other people at your workplace and you only told her about one person not the other four people (English is not my first language)

[@tisnov3linky]

28 meters he's huge

[@andynorck2389]

Story 2: I don’t get why OP is getting TA, the boyfriend slept with 4 coworkers, that we know of and he hid it. He is indeed the office slut. He surely cheated, which is why he didn’t mention the others and only one.

[@ShiNijuuAKL]

fucking true, if the genders were reversed...

[@l-l-l-l-l-l-l]

The fact that he doesn't apologize for not giving the heads up to OP and the sole reason she was blindsided at the party tells me enough about him and his dismissive behavior. He still is a fuckboy.

[@MCWon212]

If he slept with those coworkers before the relationship, then the public reaction wasn't warranted.

[@andynorck2389]

@@MCWon212 but how can she know that? This wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t hide it. She also didn’t scream it for the whole room, she only said it to him with the friends that told her present, and come on, a lot of people already know he is the office slut anyways, and if he was so ashamed he shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

[@zeldeus6803]

It’s not cheating if they’re not in a relationship you idiots

[@chrisruffino5168]

Adult Content is cheating? What are we talking about here movies or wack-a-mole? If its movies, that's just dumb... well so is wack-a-mole.

[@MrToubrouk]

Story 2: TL;DR: OOP slutshames partner, refuses to accept responsibility.

[@dravenocklost4253]

In second story His friends enjoy annoying each other, so his friend succeeded and your going to take this little toxic friendship banter out on your wife? Grow up kid, little FBoy

[@blabla-fw9ix]

GIGACHAD BEN !!!!!!

[@ashleybentham9396]

Font understand people on reddit making out op in story 2 is the A.H. she done owt wrong in my opinion, she could have tore him a new one at that party, the fact that when he went round tried to blame her. Man some people need to give there heads a wobble. If that was the reverse he would be hitting the roof

[@heyjohnson5535]

Of course everyone told u to break up with him thats why u dont look for relationship advice from strangers online who dont know u or your real situation from Jebadiahs. The only thing we know is u are so insecure about your relationship that u tell as many people that will listen about your problems as if its a revolving door of look how stupid i am...

[@zeparthe16thspiritofarsgoe15]

Not haram

[@iswsh5888]

It is

[@acupofteabagyoutube9540]

first?

[@murdock94]

Ok, second story. Is there any way the OP could come off anymore like a flaming dbag?

[@betsyb]

fully disagree with the consensus in story 2. lying by omission is still lying, and the bf definitely should’ve told op about the coworkers he slept with before she met them. and the fact that he doesn’t seem to care about her feelings at all really bothers me. when someone you care about is upset, even if you think it’s for a stupid reason, you still hear them out and treat them with compassion. calling him the office slut in front of his friends and taking his car home without telling him was a little far, but she had every right to be upset with him and he was being a major asshole. just an observation, but i feel like if the genders were swapped in that story then the responses would agree that op wasn’t the asshole

[@vinalchaudhary8342]

He didnt cheat, she blew it out of proportion. Shes immature. She is totally in the wrong. If you cant handle the idea that your previous partner is more experienced than you date a virigin.

[@Cheese_Heel]

So 3 of them he slept with before they started ANYTHING. The one he told her about was when they did start a fwb type relationship. Then she called him a slut, took HIS car and left him stranded. She has a lot of insecurities that she needs to work out. That being said. He could have told her out of decency. Even still the update solidified that she overreacted. Also the bf needs better friends. This mess was blown way out of proportion. I understand how she feels, but she cant say shes mature, pull that crap, then give a backhanded apology. She still feels she was in the right. I understand most would say it would be different is the roles were reversed. You are most likely right. But if the acted like this he would still be the ass. Especially when it happened years in the past.

[@Kingdo_RGT]

I think the problem is they are both at fault for different reasons, but only one came mature about it. Yes, the girl insults him in front of coworkers, steal his car and leave him alone in the party. But at the end, she apologizes and take accountability for her mistake. On the other hand, the dude didn't tell his GF he slept with multiple coworker because he didn't think it matter, despite knowing she cares a lot about the only coworker she knew he slept with. He has the right to feel humiliated and angry about her reaction. But at the end he refuse to talk, need an entire week to cool off, take her concern as none her business, or none important. Said that if she wants to break up it the stupidest reason, basically invalidate her insecurity and never apologizes or acknowledge he made a mistake.

[@jsullivan649]

I think my issue with story 2 is that she insults and shames him as his bosses house, making him look even worse in his bosses eyes now. Then steals his car and strands him there so he has to call someone else to pick him up… I too would have been furious at that.

[@chadisnotachad]

Second story: 100% he should've dumbed you. You stole his car, called him names and huffed and puffed like you were the victim and he was the ah when he did nothing wrong. He told you about the relevant bits of his past. The fling around when you two first got involved. Anything past that is irrelevant besides an STD test.

[@Roofhack]

Sexual history even without STDs is absolutely relevant, tells you a lot about a person.

[@Alexa-hm3gl]

Honestly he's at fault why couldn't he just give her a heads up like normal person would Do especially if he knew that his friends always "joked" around or say shit like this with him/others like she could've understood everything personally I think that reaction was justified

[@MoT_Compliance_Officer]

Contrary to the majority of verdicts on the second story, I think OP is TA. She full well understood his rationale behind what he considered previous partners, and from what was said they all occurred BEFORE their relationship. It doesn't seem to me like he actively hid or even explicitly lied about it, he just didn't think it was relevant. Her reaction was (to me at least) disproportionate and vindictive. To our knowledge, he didn't cheat and certainly didn't have relationships with them.

[@tcherlesonravel9117]

Yet he wasn't capable to tell her the full truth, even though she in some point asked it, and when confronted with the truth, he give the "this isn't a big deal" card when that is a clear trust issue. She was wrong in calling him a slut with his friends watching and taking his car, but at the same time she isn't wrong, and he shouldn't treat It like a minor thing when he clearly isn't being honest.

[@lalvarez5151]

Smythe guy banged a bunch of people he works with. He then doesn't tell her. How is a woman supposed to react when she finds out the guy works with previous partners? Specialy when he doesn't give her a heads up?

[@MCWon212]

Story 2: Ops boyfriend slept with the coworkers before the relationship. Therfore her reaction was unwarranted. Edit: upon further reflection I say Bf is more the AH than the Op.

[@thecursed01]

he should still have told her he is the office slut. if you go to your gf/wifes company party and learn she effed half the company from ppl joking about it, you'd not be upset about it?

[@nybotheveg]

They had been in the exact same but opposite situation and OP gave bf the heads up.

[@raketensven3127]

So she almost dipped on the wedding bc he's 2nd choice but now needs space? Shame on these doormats eating all this bs..

[@johnnyhall9154]

Ben is the asshole in story 2, the fuck kind of logic is ONS don't count for sexual history. And I truly hate the," We weren't exclusive yet so you can't be mad" argument

[@TheHelper151]

Females pull that line with men all the time. Time for them to get their comupance.

[@w.a.r4623]

So OP lied about porn and the wife lied about and affair, wanting to be married, loving op, etc etc. so who is really in the wrong here ?

[@user-nu6oy3nq5m]

They are both in the wrong but all factors including the OP's is able to fix things and go back, while the wife is unforgivable. Think of it this way image you tell each other this 10 years later, the wife creation to the OP's would be upset but forgivable, the the OP would be horrified his wife cheated on him. (my opinion corrects me if I am wrong or missing something.)

[@w.a.r4623]

@@user-nu6oy3nq5m I’m with you, lying about porn is stupid but it’s porn. Who cares, we all have watched it. Lying about cheating is a whole different level of deception due to how much manipulation and lies are required to hide it. She is disgusting.