My Girlfriend Is Trying To Control Me By Forcing Her Beliefs Onto Me r/Relationships

[@gland5848]

Tell her you don't want to live in sin and move out.

[@hubbachubba1]

Yassss!

[@justiceforusall7038]

playing 3d chess 😆

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Story 1: This behaviour is why people are leaving their churches in droves. Nobody likes being guilt-tripped and manipulated into attending Sunday Bookclub.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Plus, parking your butt on a pew every week has nothing to do with being saved.

[@SewardWriter]

​@@paulagoeringer9466Judaism is built on actions. You'd think it would be more popular among Christians. (Mind, one of the best friends I've ever had is a devout Christian, and he's always adhered to actions being important. He's so awesome. He moved, and I miss him.)

[@tamarrartis2918]

Story 1: OP I'm a Christian, and I think you should break up with her.

[@angelaa7388]

I don't trust anyone who says I will die a horrible death for eternity if I don't join their book club.

[@fabianbiere5653]

Now that's funny😂😂

[@GLoLChibs]

Love how their heads spin when they tell you God gave us free will because he loves us, you point out it's not really free will if you get punished for it and among humans we call that behavior toxic and manipulation.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

That is a funny has hell way to put it (pun? Intended)

[@sovereigncrux]

Absolutely, and fan fiction rarely has good editing.

[@Ďèlùlù_Ľ_è_ḿ_ó_ń]

I prefer a beer volcano myself.

[@maxsupernova]

Story 1: Jesus would not approve of drunk texting.

[@pfffetc6149]

🤣

[@nofrackingzone7479]

I’ve actually drunk text before. 😊

[@jgw5491]

@@nofrackingzone7479 But did Jesus approve? 😉

[@antonbelusa7895]

​@@pfffetc6149 😮😢😢

[@CricketHop-vf8km]

Jesus and God don’t even like the religious. Mathew 23 or something. They think they’re all hypocrites.

[@jaysonpressley8642]

Story 1: She can ask God to help her with rent.

[@carolroberts4614]

Why should op pay her rent after he goes? He's got to pay to live somewhere else!

[@Nerdificent]

I like this! Having to pay her own rent because OP moved out is one of many consequences of continuing to violate his boundaries. Action, meet consequence.

[@drhacknslashzombietimelord6768]

I'm a Christian, and used to be a volunteer youth minister. Some of the most psychologically damaged adolescents and teenagers are the one's who's parents started forcing religion on them when/if they start questioning their beliefs and want to step away from the church for a bit. One of the worst things some of these "Christian" parents do is to tell their children that they don't have to go to church if they don't want to, and when they don't go, after they come home from church, they'd go into the kids room, put all their possessions in a garbage bag and and throw it all in the rubbish, then also ground them for a ridiculously extended amount of time, like at least six months. When it comes to friends/relationships, if someone I'm dating says that their an atheist, I'm not going to stop dating, or avoid dating someone that has different beliefs than me. My rule is, "you respect my beliefs and I'll respect yours". And that works rather well.

[@LovestarVGC]

It’s ironic how religious people are some of the least tolerant people I’ve ever met, thank you for being sensible

[@dminasweater4868]

My dad pulled this once. Luckily I had moved most of what I had left to my grandparents house due to previous similar christian tantrums

[@joaolima7131]

My mom gave me an option, but thankfully didn't pull this crap

[@andrewmildenberg4210]

Religion was a bad idea.

[@vegaskullkid4503]

I am a fellow Christan and am the same as you. I don't push my beliefs on others as that's not what I'm supposed to do, I just love people and tell them about God. It's up to the person whether they believe or not but if they don't I won't throw a tantrum like I've seen some others do.

[@irisjasmine8532]

Why was she, unmarried, living with an unmarried man. Thats sinful

[@jasminerobertson4913]

Ahhhhh you make a good point!! I didn't even think of that. Great work👍🫡

[@sgm8265]

Exactly. He did her a favor. She definitely won't burn in hell now.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Well when they moved in together she wasn' t She was only trying to help him with that being said they are no longer compatible and really should go their separate ways so they can find someone better suited for them.

[@emanx222]

​@@juliearmfield2634"trying to help" yh no. You're right about them no longer beng compatible though

[@freedomcat]

only if they are fornicating. I have a roommate and it is platonic, think The Golden Girls.

[@mythking541]

Story 1: Every time I hear of someone saying "If you don't to church, you're going to hell..." I think of a Degrassi episode where Spinner, trying to be in a relationship with Darcy, attends bible club and ask the guy leading it "What if you are a good person, but just don't go to church. Does that mean those people are damned?" (paraphrasing).

[@josepherhardt164]

I would ask, "Are YOU going to Hell?" And after the "No" answer, I'd say, "Can't be but so bad, then."

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

*Going to church doesn’t make you a good person any more than going to the garage makes you a car.*

[@avidvideoswatcher]

"How would I be able to go somewhere that is only in your imagination?"

[@user-wj5cx2zp7v]

I literally once had a neighbour who wouldn't shut up about god - in the end I had to ban her from my doorstep under the threat of making a complaint to the police about her. Never engage with those who want to control and dictate to you.

[@annem7806]

I had a neighbor who grabbed my hand and LOUDLY started praying for me, outside my apt. 😮

[@LocksAndChains]

@@annem7806 When will we all finally agree that people who believe this fiction should be institutionalized? They literally believe in magic.

[@hilaryc3203]

@@LocksAndChainsYes, it is a mental health issue. Interestingly, and christians generally clutch their pearls and go silent when I tell them this - that the part of the brain that is stimulated during orgasms, is also stimulated in the same way when people pray. That is why prayer is so addictive to people, and why they feel all gushy and special when they are praying, it's related to our sexual responses in our brain. You can google it. lol

[@narliehs1648]

100000000% agree. OP is NTA. He shouldn't have to pay her to move out. Laura and Sarah need therapy. ETA: Atheist like OP with similar religious trauma. My family are Jehovah's Witnesses.

[@darkmask5933]

Story 1: The commentor that was like "you should continue to pay her rent for a few months after you leave", like WTF? I read this sometimes in Reddit posts and maybe I'm just a bad person or something, but i would have never assumed when I break up with someone and move out to continue paying their bills.

[@hennessya96]

You never see women being told this kinda thing in the comments. It's this toxic mentality that men's money is joint money whereas women's money is her money. The idea that the relatioship is over doesn't change the money debt he has to her in the eyes of people with this mentality. I would say that's mostly women who feel this way while men who dupport this are sexist and can't hold women accountable as they see them as needing care and protection more than responsibility and self sustanance.

[@Davtwan]

I think it’s sometimes due to them experiencing a lack of leniency from landlords or not wanting to give a possibly spiteful ex ammunition.

[@leedavis-m2o]

Drop her and you are NOT, NOT, NOT! Responsible for her rent. Why would you even think of this? Drop the witch and make a switch!

[@kipdiggs1827]

Getting a sig O's name tattooed on you is a kill shot for the relationship.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

@@Davtwan This! Not giving the ex ammunition.

[@zukanator3555]

Thank you so much for calling out the hypocrisy of not only reddit but social media. I have four brothers, and I have witnessed them go through so many things that if the tables were reversed, the man would have been in jail for what they've suffered at the hands of women. Abuse is abuse plain and simple regardless of the gender of either party

[@namename2040]

Story 3 If you are in any branch of millitary and you cheat they get involved because that's gross behavior unbecoming of a soldier. However if you are being cheated on nothing they can do about that. Civillians aren't held to the same higher standard.

[@hazeltulip]

It’s a security risk, there’s chances for blackmail, out of wedlock pregnancies, all sorts of problems that can result from it and cause international incidents

[@elizabethcox5911]

As a Christian, I believe the best way to tell someone about God is in how you live your life, not by preaching and judging.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

I couldn't agree more. It's always bothered me how some can claim to be Christian and act like demons. Lying, cheating, being abusive, etc and then having the nerve to act holier than thou and judging others for lesser things. The hypocrisy is disgusting.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 1 - NTA. I also broke up with one of my exes because she kept trying to get me to pray to Jesus with her and get me involved with her religion. I grew up Catholic and stopped practicing after I stopped believing at a young age. People really need to understand that pushing your faith on your partner will most likely result in a breakup, while it’s important to you it’s not to everyone else and it’s inappropriate to not respect “no”. Good on OP for getting out of that relationship.

[@LadyWolvie82]

I lost a friend because he wanted me to be Christian like him (born & raised Catholic, converted to Buddhism when I was 18). OP1 is automatically NTA.

[@SuperYoshi29]

Story 1: I would break up with her for being so easy to brainwash. What’s next, joining an MLM? No thanks, I want a partner that can not only see thru recruitment bs but also will not change their core beliefs with barely any time and no discussion.

[@sarahhosl2330]

Nope. Next step would be no sex to re-virgin themselves.

[@loganjoh1]

Yep I was thinking she became religious because she survived something but nope her friend took her to some services and that’s all it took she would fall for anything

[@vampire9545]

Exactly 😂

[@aduckofsomesort]

Your hypothetical is actually very likely. Religious groups are very susceptible to multilevel marketing schemes. Utah, being the Mormon capital of the world, is also the MLM capital. So I see it first hand all the time.

[@jimmieloop8587]

If the "basis" of whatever you believe changes over time does not mean brainwashed unless you believe living is brainwashing. It only means her belief was not as solid or tru. Is she not allowed to change? OP never really knew her (2yrs years aint enough period), but she was wrong for trying to manipulate him.

[@GLoLChibs]

"Missionaries do their best work while in missionary" my brother in Buddha you wrong for that. Right, but wrong. 🤣

[@boogitywoogity248]

Markee the goat, the only creator to call out Reddit’s obvious gender bias. Good on you man.

[@sovereigncrux]

Story 2: When someone insists on you 'branding' yourself with their name, it is usually a possessive issue and not a sentimental one.

[@zoemeece6345]

Story 1: I was born and raised Christian and going to church. I married my husband who was raised similarly. We started going to church together and finding a church together and realized just how much people change in church. As well as we recognized the recruitment happening. We stopped going and worship in our own time, together and at home. When we do go to church. We only go to bible study. We don’t go to main worship. Neither do our kids. After morning bible study. Well go get early lunch and take our kids to the park (which is almost empty on Sunday mornings) and let them have lunch, run out energy of the children and whenever we get another dog. We plan on bringing them too as it’s completely pet friendly. You don’t have to be in church to worship.

[@OrlaQuirk]

That's the way it should be. Congratulations on living your life in a good way. When people tell me I'm going to hell, I say what about that part in the Bible where Jesus says not all who say "Lord Lord" will enter the kingdom of heaven? There's more, and everyone should look that up before they dare to judge in God's place.

[@yamairad1]

Story 1. This is not normal. You don't just change your core beliefs in a matter of weeks. I'm genuinely afraid for her mental health. There must be something else going on.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

It's not that hard to change someone's beliefs. She exposed herself to new beliefs over and over, and the more you hear the same message, the more it starts to make sense. Not everyone is resistant to that kind of thing. And no one is pushier than a new convert.

[@yamairad1]

@@hodgeelmwood8677 You don't just become an obsessed fanatic in weeks. Also, if she was an atheist, she had, likely, already been exposed to Christianity and firmly rejected it. I'm not saying an atheist can not become a Christian. I'm saying that she went way too hard in way too short a time. I genuinely think she's having a mental health crisis.

[@league-of-shadows]

2: The cheating wife needs to realize she threw herself at a man who tells his wife everything so she needs to cut her losses and mind her business.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, if she can't respect your lack of religious belief then she does not respect you.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

She also doesn't respect her own religion as you're supposed to share and support, not club someone over the head with it.

[@spencerbannon4298]

As a former Christian, sometimes when older people convert, they tend to "overcorrect" and make their faith basically every aspect of themselves. Sometimes they learn to mellow out, but oftentimes, they don't. Here, she clearly didn't, and like in many of those overcorrections, it has a tendency for seriously rub non-christians the wrong way

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: After that second disgusting manipulation attempt? OP should have gone full Christopher Hitchens on her backside! As usual religion poisons everything. Glad OP moved out, but he shouldn't have paid her a penny. I love that comment, that she can ask Jesus to help with her bills!

[@paden1865able]

If you don't want to make a permanent change to your body, don't do it. Anyone who pesters you to do it to prove that you love them usually, in 99.9% of the cases, isn't worth loving.

[@shaktimishra9710]

That's why temporary tattoo are best fade away automatically

[@johnbradbury8610]

Only a doormat would get a tattoo that they don't want because their SO told them to. Asking AITA isn't much better.

[@Aurummorituri]

Oh man nothing boils my blood more than a preachy person. It’s so irritating and dismissive of your own beliefs. Run, boy, RUN! 😮

[@sam2x13]

Story 3: back in the 80s on a certain missile base some of the wives had what was called "the order of the broom". If the broom was on the front porch that meant the husband was in the silo.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op is a total moron if he thinks his wife won't cheat

[@addicted2mako]

There are different ways to get matching tattoos without using names. For example, one person could have a tattoo of a grilled cheese sandwich on their arm and the other person could have one of a bowl of tomato soup on their arm. That way if the relationship goes south the tattoo can just be a sandwich or soup. This is operating on the assumption that both people actually want matching tattoos (or any for that matter)

[@denelva]

Story 1: when my hubby and I met almost 20 years ago, I was a fairly devoted catholic. A convert at 19, so yep, I was serious. I was also extremely serious with not pushing my believes onto my then BF, because since I knew I would feel hurt if he tried to deconvert me, I knew it would be equally hurtful if I tried to force him to church with me. I lost my faith around 14-15 years into our relationship and it was extremely painful - a complete life crisis. My hubby showed me support and compassion through this, without gloating or making fun of me or saying things like "welcome to the rational side", which unfortunately is something plenty of my former friends used to say. I had my grieving process, my hubby showed all the support and part of that was because I never ever made him feel like he had to change his beliefs. If Laura says there's nothing to discuss unless OP attends church, her faith is likely quite fragile and she can't handle being alone in her faith, which I would say is a sign of a pretty weak faith. Laura is weak, manipulative, anxious and immature. Good for OP to get out of this mess - and I would've said the same when I was still a Christian.

[@FreijaVanir]

Story one: I am an Atheist. My hubby used to be one too, but he became a Christian a few years ago. Apparently, you can have a beautiful, respectful relationship when there are religious differences, provided you have matching morality and goals. Meanwhile, I am low contact with another converted friend, who is being a crappy apologist and only calls me to push "salvation" on me.

[@hilaryc3203]

You are far more patient that I am. I would lose a lot of respect for someone who gave in to the manipulation, coercion and brainwashing, and then I would educate them with science and common sense. But yes. I'd be gone. :)

[@FreijaVanir]

@@hilaryc3203 Why do you think I am the one who needs to be patient? Neither of us is edgy, neither tries to convert, change or save the other. We don't really have reasons to debate, as our world views are very similar. We share everything but belief in a higher power. Of course a person who has faith couldn't be in a relationship with an edgy atheist, just like an atheist can't be in a relationship with a preaching Christian. They would end up hurting each other. But we ain't 16 anymore.

[@hilaryc3203]

@@FreijaVanir What are you going on about? I never said you need to be patient. I gave you a compliment for being more patient than I am. I did not imply anything about your spouse.You have patience with your differences, and I simply explained how I would not be. That was NOTHING against you. Good grief..can't say fuck all on comments without someone misreading and going on the attack. You're american then?

[@FreijaVanir]

Nope, not American. Are you?

[@hilaryc3203]

@@FreijaVanir Hell no, but you came out at a person like one. Don't take offence so quickly and reread things to understand a comment better.

[@yippycat5303]

I’m Christian and I’m well aware that those kinds of attitudes DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY- rather than bring people together. Like, girl- go about it differently. Oh my goshhh

[@LovestarVGC]

Or you could just leave people alone and not try to convert them to your cult

[@adjwindu70]

​@@LovestarVGCunfortunately know. When I went to a Baptist high school, we were taught we had to "spread the word". They have to convert others to the religion. The religion requires it. That is likely why they are so involved in politics

[@LovestarVGC]

@@adjwindu70 Christian Dogma is wild

[@adjwindu70]

@@LovestarVGC it truly is. While I still want to believe in higher powers, the hypocrisy of organized religion I saw while in that school and my church was so disheartening. I mean, the catholic priest scandal alone should tell the world something is very wrong with organized religion. And let's not forget all the wars fought in God's name.

[@LovestarVGC]

@@adjwindu70I was a church camp counselor for 5 summers. I loved working with the kids and made some lifelong friends there. However, I was often in trouble for telling my campers that it was okay to be gay/trans/atheist/worship a different religion, and that a loving God would never condemn a good person to hell for eternity. The constant friction between my personal beliefs and Christian teachings made me dive deeper into the Bible which eventually turned me away from religion entirely. I now believe that if Christians actually read the entire Bible then many of them would leave the church as well

[@ingegerdandersson6963]

A teacher showed us his tattoo as a warning. He made us look close at the spelling of his name in it. He explained that it said Miats (his name was Mats) and was a cover up of the name of an old girlfriend Mia.

[@CatsOverBrats]

Mt tattoo artist told me the story of a couple that came in to get each other's name tattooed. She went in first and got his. She sat back down outside of the room for a cup of coffee while he went in. When she came in to check how his tattoo was going, she started screaming at him. "Why the f*ck are you getting your ex's name tattooed?" So yeah, don't go out getting your partner's name tattooed.

[@LadyBern]

Ooh there was a story recently about s guy still do hooked up on his ex that when he tried to surprise op by having their birthdays tattooed on him op ended the relationship because it was his ex's birthday not hers.

[@CatsOverBrats]

@@LadyBern I heard that. I don't recall what reddit reader read it but I remember hearing it.

[@superc.j]

​@@CatsOverBrats Markee. It was Markee that read it.

[@UnicornOfDepression]

#1: NTA. "You are welcome to your faith. I am welcome to mine. Due to our difference of opinion regarding religion, I think it is time for us to go our separate ways. You can't force me to join your faith."

[@Zxgrhexbj]

From what I’ve heard a lot of tattoo artist advice to even refuse to do partner name tattoo. Some have started doing those mix match tattoos(like one person gets a Minnie and the other gets Mickey) because it’ll be “better” to have than a name if they end up regretting it.

[@eleanoraddy4683]

A friends mum was getting a tattoo lasered off and the aftermath of her first appointment was horrifying. It looked like bird poop was oozing out through her skin and we had to leave her in the car and go get dressings to cover it. None of us were expecting that!

[@jojocandy2025]

As someone covered in tattoos, im so glad op is smart. Dont get partner names tattooed

[@bellaavalos2646]

For that first story - I’m very religious and have a really close religion with God and my partner is sort of spiritual but has no time for religion or monotheism. When I was having an awful crisis of faith, my partner stepped into my faith and spoke my language while I was sorting the relationship with God. I know he doesn’t believe it, but him sitting with my beliefs and helping me meant the world to me. I leave him alone when I pray or meditate or go to services. It’s just respect. It’s just having respect for your partner

[@colleens1107]

Story two: the only names you should tattoo on yourself is your children or lost loved ones. Bfs come and go, even SPOUSES come and go. A tattoo requires a laser to NOT be forever. For my family I got a triple spiral tattoo to honor my husband and child. But it’s something I love on its own so if something were to happen and I got divorced I wouldn’t regret the tattoo

[@shaktimishra9710]

I believe one shouldn't get tattoo unless it's their husband and children but openly saying no to husband while husband say yes to you. Is kinda deal breaker

[@icecreamnoodles3742]

​@@shaktimishra9710 I can see where you're coming from, but in this particular case Op and the boyfriend were together for 1 year. Yeah it should be a dealbreaker because tattoos are an insanely personal choice and someone thinking their cutesy &/or controlling idea to get matching ones is a must-answer-yes. The disrespect is nuts to me. Especially if it were my husband/spouse! Sure, we can talk about it, see how WE feel about it and make a mutual decision (as in, 2 yes's or it ain't happening). But wanting a yes or no answer and then having the gall to be hurt or angry over a no is not just ridiculous it is also disrespectful to your partners feelings.

[@ndawn90]

​@@shaktimishra9710Nah, not even spouses. Marriages end all of the time. And frankly, if you simply not wanting to have your husband's name tattooed on your body when he already has your name tattooed on him is enough to be a deal breaker, then your marriage is already broken.

[@amandab8433]

My husband and I just celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary, and our 36th anniversary of being together. If I ever got a tattoo I still would NEVER get his name tattooed on me, he agrees with the same. Love each other to bits, but seriously NOPE.

[@shaktimishra9710]

@@ndawn90 children mostly go no contact with parents when they grow up. Your patner only stay . Your logic is bad lady

[@TheUselessbuthappy]

You never tell a deployed soldier about a spouse cheating. You tell them when they get back. Being overseas or stuck on a ship with absolutely nothing you can do about the situation makes it 10000x worse for the person cheated on. But I do think they should be told when they get back.

[@jake8748]

Not if they have access to income/bank accounts and PoA etc. It was a big point they made in Australia military before deployments, to be certain of anyone left in control of their estate or assets. Far too many had GF get sick of being alone and shack up and drain the deployed members accounts on them and their new partner. Depending on where they are and the support system they have, letting them know early let's them manoeuvre while deployed because they can open new bank accounts, change payments, alter leases etc with the help of the chain of command and other support elements. Much better finding out with people who will support you than when you walk in and find our after you get back. Not too mention how many children are conceived the day of returning if you don't mention it immediately. Also in the immediate return peoples mental condition can be really bad already as you are still in a state of readiness and trying to relax and how you react can be very volatile. It's why there's usually weeks of decompression training and therapy for our soldiers on return. That kind of news with someone recovering from deployment stresses could be really bad for long term mental health. Especially if there is more damage later on.

[@TheUselessbuthappy]

That's fair. The us military had the same issue, so they no longer allow/ accept blanket poas. They have to be specific now. That being said, soldiers don't necessarily have the capabilities to fix or change anything depending on where they are. Not all soldiers have access to the things they would need to set up new bank accounts, etc. So I agree that if they can do something about that then telling them while gone isn't a ereible idea BUT it's rare that that's the case (atleast in my experience with the army) Plus, it's dangerous, so I just think it's not worth the risk. They have more and easier access stateside. Also I'm not saying immediately tell them when they get stateside. I am very aware of how bad a soldiers mental state can be when it comes to reintegration when coming back. There is never a good time to break that kind of information, just a better time. And I think the best time is when they are stateside and fully capable of doing something about the information.

[@jake8748]

@@TheUselessbuthappy yeah definitely a case by case basis. I think this story is pretty safe to hold off. Won't change much. But yeah had a few mates who basically did a deployment and ended up worse off when they got back as their income was drained and they were single anyway. The ones told atleast usually had a better outcome and could get family or friends to step in and atleast mitigate it.

[@MrJpaynebb]

​@@TheUselessbuthappy for most deployed I would say hold off telling them until they return. Many in the military are still young adults so no telling how they will react to hearing of such betrayal while deployed. Also as cold as this sounds they have a job to do which takes precedent over their personal lives at the moment. Losing focus on their assignment could put lives at risk. As for the POA young adult need to understand that is meant for blood family, usually parents, or a spouse. I mean an actual we're married under the law by the state with a license spouse.

[@charles0322mrsdani]

Story 2. My parents were married 75 years and they had no tattoos. This guy is ridiculous. If they been together 10 years, maybe. But only a year? Foolish idea. Glad to hear OP was smart and broke up

[@lucialovecraft]

First sorry: NTA. I’m a follower of the Virgin Mary (I’m painting a portrait of her right now) but the connection between the Holy Mother and myself is a personal one. I would never put my beliefs upon anyone.

[@ThatOddChickenHippie]

7:35 as a woman, i 1000% agree with Markee on the "would anyone be saying these things if the genders were reversed?" She's the abuser here. She deserves no consideration.

[@sketchiscribblr8285]

Exactly, she "found God" she can "find" a new housemate. She can ask her new bestie, Jeezie boy to spot her op's half of the rent in the meantime

[@zukanator3555]

One more comment my brother-in-law is a long time tattoo artist, he always told me "the quickest way to end a relationship is to get the partner's name tattooed on your body" 😅

[@paulagoeringer9466]

I'd be tempted to print out a temporary tattoo to test it. 😂 Seriously, tattoo artists should recommend that to couples. After all, you're going to have that forever unless you get laser removal or coverups.

[@vlionheart]

Why are people being so lenient on someone trying to emotionally abuse OP? F her, she can deal with rent on her own, don't pay for crap after moving out.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

NTA! OP's girlfriend has joined one of "those" type of Christian churches. She needs to read and comprehend the bible a lot more before she tries to convert people against their will. I became atheist over 30 years ago, but was raises Catholic. We were taught to never force religion on anyone. Overall, the Bible teaches that faith should be a personal choice and that no one should be forced to believe something they do not want to. The Bible emphasizes sharing faith with love and respect, upholding free will and personal conviction over coercion, reflecting Jesus' compassionate approach. The Bible emphasizes love, respect, and free will in matters of faith. For example, 1 Peter 3:15 advises to share one's faith with gentleness and respect. Indicating that coercion is not the Christian way to spread beliefs.

[@nadirimyers6643]

“My parents are married and happy and they got they names tatted “ okay where is my ring at?

[@KH-tx6lg]

OMG! Just yesterday, my daughter was telling me one of her patients asked her if she had found Jesus. This happened near the end of a 12-hour shift, so her first thought was "Why, did you lose him?" She almost hurt herself, keeping those words from getting out 😅

[@robinronin]

S1: How has her life improved, now that she lives in constant fear that her and everyone she loves will be tortured for eternity if they break some arbitrary rule? It sounds like a miserable existence to me. Breaking up was the best choice.

[@SaturnSenshi3105]

Story 3: a tale as old as time, and another base bunny gets dumped hopefully (base bunny is a term for women who cheat on their partners with people on base sometimes the whole base while their partners are deployed)

[@jake8748]

Story 3 - sadly this is very common in the military. However many members do have agreements that allow partners to see people while away. There is quite alot of things that can be done while deployed and further it is not uncommon to hear of partners cleaning out accounts or doing stuff that harms the deployed member even after they get home. I know of a few guys whose GFs or fiances moved onto new guys while they were deployed and basically played happy partner while using their salary to live a high life with a new partner. Those guys returned home to basically empty bank account's and being single. Others who were told prior managed to break up and change or lock down accounts. It's common for deployed people to give a spouse access to accounts and even PoA in case of emergency.

[@snafubar5491]

I knew several fellas that the first woman they has sex with on a regular basis, a professional', they married those Ladies. Some worked out. Some didn't. Knew couples who had the 'open' relationships and it worked for them. Sometimes it didn't. Knew women that were 'working' while Hubby was gone. Heard of one story of Hubby pimpin out his and other wives.....from Base Housing. As for telling........well, it might be the right thing to do or it might not be the right thing to do. You are flipping a coin and may not win. True, while Deployed might not seem the best time to tell, you have to know if the folks you depend on can be depended on when SHTF. No video, class, or Leadership School can tell you that. And in this day and age of 'Safe Spaces' and all.........I NEED to know you aren't daydreaming with your head up your 6 pining over something you can' t fix right now and end up getting my Troops injured or killed. And yes, I got 'Jodie' back in the day. It sucks a big one. But I did my Job first.

[@jake8748]

@@snafubar5491 that's part of why it might be best to tell them too. They may know or suspect something but feel alone and distracted. If confirmed it let's them process and compartmentalise it to get the job done. But definitely pick the time regardless. Don't tell right before a patrol or mission etc. Maybe before a R and R day etc. Their seco's probably know them best and how they'll deal and react too. Something like this story probably little risk of it being bad or going worse. Doesn't sound like she's about to run off with all his stuff etc. Yeah one of my fellow soldiers had an agreement with a few base wives where he would take care of their needs while husbands were deployed basically. He swung both ways and was already involved with the couples prior so was kind of a safe option I guess. It seemed so strange to me. Not something I'd have ever considered but they weren't harming anyone so whatever suits them I guess lol. We also had the base housing pass arounds for the single guys. Remember one young grunt talking about the girl he had picked up knew how to find his room better than he did at the time. Saturday guard duties was interesting watching people leaving too...

[@snafubar5491]

@@jake8748........You can't 'cookie cutter' an issue like this. It depends on more than just one factor. A Good Leader should, I say again, should understand that's it's complicated and there is more than one way to 'talk to' someone. Like delivering a Death Notice......you can't expect everyone to react the same. Pretty sure these kinda stories are as old as Time itself. As I put it, "The Names may change, but the Smell stays the same." to describe such things. That statement fits soooo many things. Hey, if they are all Consenting Adults and minding their own business, then who am I to say it's 'wrong'??? Not my job to judge them things. Ohhhh the Salty Sea Stories I could tell. Yes, Barracks Bunnies are a thang. We had one Sailor who actually moved his squeeze in his 4-man room. Yeah.......Penthouse Forum woudda been jealous. Dependents running a Working Girl business from Base Housing. The WAVE that gave 46 Sailors/Marines a STD in two weeks. Yep.....not a misprint. And NO, this Sailor was not one of them. Or the Marine who, as far as I know, holds the record of getting a STD a month for 14 outta his 15 month Tour. That was 40+ years ago. Doubt it's changed much. Well, the names have, but nothing else.

[@jake8748]

@@snafubar5491 you basically said exactly what I did, the people around who know the situation and the person are the best to make the call on when and where to say something. Whether it's straight away, when they get home or as soon as convenient. I've just seen a few claim you shouldn't say anything as a blanket rule. Others say they should. If they are in non combat situations I'd generally err on telling them sooner rather than later. Plus if they find out on their own, it might be a worse time than you picking a good time. Yeah, some of the activities other got upto is quite scary. We had an STD outbreak during a 2 month field exercise. We had almost no contact with civilisation in that time and only a very small number of females and no openly gay soldiers. So something was happening. And about a decade ago we had an exercise where we were partly in a town for staging over 6ish weeks. 1 week in at orders it was relayed to stop using tinder because the spread of the clap was already affecting manning for the activities. I believe it was 150 or so in just a week, out of an exercise with about 3k in it. I'm not American either so it's also same things around the world lol. I left my army 7 years ago. So yeah still happening.

[@snafubar5491]

@@jake8748.......Yes you did say pretty much say what I did. Not in your first statement that I replied to, you didn't. If you got a Troop that can't be an Adult in a Combat Zone, then you need to stand them down. They are a danger to everyone around them because they aren't mature enough to deal with it when Life feeds them a sheeit sammich. It's up to the Commander on the Ground, not me, you, or none of the Military Keyboard Experts.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Forcing religion is never a good idea. It's a very personal thing and has to be a personal choice. Anytime you force anything, it will have the opposite effect. Those who force things have a serious mental issue.

[@rinpaisys]

S1: there is no zealot like a new convert

[@hubbachubba1]

Don’t allow anyone to force their religious beliefs on you. Never.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

There HAS to be writing prompts on Reddit. This is the second story I’ve read about an atheist OP whose relationship implodes because of religion.

[@prestow]

Religion poisons everything. People think it's happiness but it's hell

[@stephanierademacher7818]

I believe in God. I don't believe in Religion!

[@prestow]

@@stephanierademacher7818 I can respect that. Usually what's bad are the organised ideologies of indoctrination, be them politic (like socialism) or religious.

[@stormtellier3804]

i believe there's a god or some higher power but don't believe in the Bible nor organized religion the Bible was written by man guess what else was written by man Greek mythology stories

[@prestow]

@@stormtellier3804 Personal beliefs should be protected. For example now you're just telling yours, not forcing others to think the same, that's positive.

[@Nerdificent]

I had to dump someone from my life for doing that. They just wouldn't let up no matter what I said. I realized my only options were to keep taking it (No damned way) or stop being around them. If I'd known how good I would have felt after freeing myself from this person, I would have done it long before. What OP's gf is doing is controlling and a blatant disregard for boundaries. He needs to get out. If she can't pay for the place on her own, then she shouldn't drive OP out with her behaviour.

[@SnowyWolborg]

It sounds like Laura was so desperate to keep her friendship with Sarah that she just started believing what Sarah wanted her to. In other words, Laura was never very strong in her beliefs to begin with. Not exactly a good quality for anyone.

[@winniem1989]

I love my husband. We've been married for 28 years now, and there is no way in hell I'm tattooing his name or any name on my body!! and that includes our kids' names

[@hilaryc3203]

Anytime someone takes it upon themselves to say I should consider getting a tattoo, I just shut them down with a smile and say, no, I grew my own, no need for more. Growing my own - freckles :)

[@hvymax]

My neighbor waited till their 10th anniversary to get his wife's name tattooed on him. They were broken up within 6 months.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

That's why tattoo artists call getting names a jinx. It's like asking for trouble.

[@helianabanes4875]

It is really sad how much fear is used to Brain wash these "new recruits" it is so incredibly cruel. My uncle is this, he would rather lose his living relationship with his gay daughter, and grandchildren, than respect they have different ideas about life, because he is CERTAIN his baby girl is going to burn in hell for eternity because she is gay. This is SO sad to watch, on both sides. It is also enraging, but I think that is because it really is so sad. If you really think your child will not be with you in Heaven, wouldn't you want peace, and love with her on Earth??😢

[@gremlininblue2601]

Not only does he use religion to be cruel, but the excuse he uses isn't even true. The verses speaking against homosexuality were originally speaking against pedophilia and were purposely changed by the Church when translating it into English. God doesnt even hate LGBT, but still they scrape for excuses to be hateful and cruel to others even tho the whole entire point is to NOT be cruel and hateful

[@SoosLives1]

I went back to my Catholic faith after I’ve learned to separate the hypocrisy from the religion and corrupt leaders and people. My boyfriend is an atheist, and I respect it very much. If someone tries to force me to convert him or to join me when he doesn’t want to, I’d tell them that our job is to just spread the word and not force others. How are we going to have people listen to us when we don’t listen to them?

[@johnbradbury8610]

so the entire catholic church, along with the child abuse, I guess if you take all that away they are fine

[@SoosLives1]

@@johnbradbury8610 I didn’t say that. I take the Bible with a grain of salt as it has been rewritten many times. Especially the “stoning” parts. I’m pretty firm in living like Christ did. Helping people out, treating them with compassion and understanding. Catholic Church is starting to change with the current Pope. Can we change the past? No. Can we learn from the past, take accountability, and do better? Absolutely. Anyone who claims to be Catholic(or Christian), but shows hate and disgust towards others is not a true believer. We shouldn’t judge others for how they live, we should support and help them if they’re in need. Love thy neighbor. Like I said, it’s not our job to force others to believe. It’s just our job to spread the word. I’m talking as a person who was hit on by a pastor and has identified as agnostic in the past. No one forced me to regain my Catholic identity. No one forced or even asked me to go to church.

[@gremlininblue2601]

​@@SoosLives1This is exactly how I view it, too! Im glad to find im not alone in how I view it

[@slayermoon666]

lol I was in op’s position in the first story… and I always fired back with, ‘why is it always my turn to find your sky daddy after he promised to come back after getting milk and bread?’ Or this one… it’s a real gem… ‘or are we playing hide and go seek again? Wow put a bell on him.’

[@m0n0chr0maticRainb0w]

I have one friend who got a girlfriend's name tattooed on him. He is now married to and has children with a totally different woman lol. His wife and I are talking about crowd funding laser tattoo removal for his next milestone birthday.

[@lindaneavil1907]

I made the mistake of getting my husband's name tattooed on my arm and our marriage was horrible. We separated years later and I had the tattoo covered over with another tattoo. Don't do it.

[@ferbobjr4569]

As a now 35 year old who in her 19th year fell ‘in love’ with a narcissistic PoS he suggested the labelling tattoo and yep, I’m the idiot who went through with getting his name tattood 🙈 I was 21 when I went and got it covered, we split up 9months before that when I had our daughter and found out he was cheating with multiple women. He had lied about everything that came out his mouth and I was just completely blind to red flags and still spent a lot of my 20s falling for the same type. Now married to an amazing hard working selfless man, I’m glad OP could see those 🚩 and got out of there

[@horrorqueen3577]

"If I leave she will be stuck paying for the place herself" Well, maybe she can pray to her God about it and he'll magically fix her life. 😂 I personally wouldnt hold my breath.

[@RadioOppy1]

Story 2: if the ex wanted to get op to and him to tattoo their names onto eachother and he was cheating I can only think of 2 reasons why. 1: he’s stupid. 2: he was gonna make her go first then come up with excuses about why he “can’t get his done yet” and leave her stuck branded with his name while he’s screwing other people. I might be jaded tho lol.

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

I regret to say that I "pressured" my husband about religion when we were teens. I was raised in a fundie, conservative branch of Christianity, and like that one commenter said, I thought I was doing the _right_ thing by asking him to join me. I didn't go so far as manipulation, though, not like Laura, but religion did end up breaking us up for 5 years. When we got back together after those 5 years, I had to decide whether his not being religious but having a good heart and solid moral fiber was a dealbreaker. On his side of things, he was forced to go to church as a kid until he started refusing when old enough, and it's got some fraught connotations for him. I'm super glad we worked through it all, but it worked because he knew I was coming from a well-intentioned (if erroneous) place.

[@shaktimishra9710]

Forcing someone is abuse

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

@@shaktimishra9710 Right, but I didn't force him. I asked him to come with me, we debated theology, and in the end when neither of us would cave on our positions I left.

[@sovereigncrux]

​@@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon Repeatedly asking someone to change their beliefs and values for you because "you want them to suit you better" is abuse. After the first 'No' you should have dropped it out of respect. You should be dating someone for who they are, not who you want to change them into becoming. If you wanted a Christian boyfriend, you should have dated a Christian.

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

​@@sovereigncruxSo I read your comment to my husband (the guy I mentioned) and he laughed lol. He wanted me to inform you that we got back together, have been married over a decade, and it was those discussions with him that helped _me_ to leave religion behind. I'll edit my comment to put quotes around "pressured," since bringing up something that's important to you and discussing it with your partner is _not_ abuse.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Does Mary's husband know he's in an open relationship? Also, even if that were the case, of all the people to hit on, she's hitting on her husband's co-workers husband. A married man who is married to somebody that works with her husband. I mean she has to be stupid not to think that was going to get back to him so maybe they do have an open relationship unless she's just that cocky or dumb. Or maybe she wants it to end and this is how she does it. Either way the disrespect of doing this in his work circle instead of you know going to online strangers or something is concerning.

[@raymondarend]

As a Christian - you can't change hearts, God does. Love your spouse if your married, whether or not they believe in God or not. If not married she should just politely leave and pray for him.

[@alana.dyer.author]

Story 2: OP's bf is an Ah. As someone who has tattoos and is learning to tattoo, you dont get names or dates on you unless it is your kids names and birthday! Matching tattoos, sure, thats fine. But names are considered a curse in the tattoo industry as many people have come in weeks later after getting their partner's name tattooed to get it covered up cuz the broke up. I've watch my dad do 20 cover ups so far because the person got their [now ex] partner's name in them

[@taylorslade961]

Story 2: Within the body mod industry, any sort of couples tattoo (names, wedding dates, matching images, etc) are seen as a curse on the relationship. A good 75% of the time the relationship ends within a year of the tattoo being done. (That's not a real stat, just a comparison to show what I mean)

[@crichtonbruce4329]

Thinking about it I feel stories 1 and 2 have a common theme: personal freedom and autonomy. In S1 OP is an atheist and the GF is demanding he convert to a religion he does not believe in keep her, in S2 the BF is demanding OP get his name permanently tattooed on her body to "Prove her love" against her wishes. Both are acts of coercion if not outright blackmail. The concept of "No means no" is not just about sex, it relates to most aspects of life. I don't think I'll be alone in my believing love that needs to be "Proved" by acting against your own beliefs or self interest in not love at all.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Story 1: If your friendship with someone has issues because you have different religious views, that a red flag regardless of who actually has the problem. But putting that aside, she has become a religious person who expects her partner to share her beliefs. Regardless of what follows, OP cannot share those views, so this relationship will not work. And she is now engaging in the same toxic behaviours OPs family did. Feels bad man.

[@rayradiant1828]

Story 1: Its always the religious that cant just accept different beliefs huh? Like OP had no issue with her beliefs but she couldn't do the same

[@chaupham1028]

S2.My parents doesn't have tattoos. They are still together and love each other. The majority of people in the world don't have tattoos. They still love each other. (Idiots).

[@BeKindToAnimals810]

Markee watches South Park. My favorite kind of people! 👏😉

[@lisathaviu1154]

There shouldn’t be any discussion about further rent. When there’s no lease there is a month to month lease in almost every state. His ex sounds unhinged. It would be funny if he responded that he was converting Islam and then condemned her for drinking and sinful relationship with another woman. That would really get her to be horrified!

[@pixiegirl131415]

Speaking legally, OP1 owes the 1/2 rent until GF can find a replacement roommate. This has been held up in court. Essentially they have a verbal contract with each other and are relying on the other party to do their part. You don’t have to be on the lease to be found legally responsible for the rent.

[@ruthlys]

Tattoos- while in the Marines I had my man’s Last name put on my hip. We did eventually marry. After i birthed his son, he had my first and middle name put on his arm. We did later divorce- i still have his last name. teasing never bothered him as he would say “she is the mother of my children” However- his next wife was why our relationship ended. She didnt like the tatt so much . . . . 😂😂😂

[@bakedandbeaded]

Good morning all, hope everyone has a lovely day! Ready to edit once I finish the stories lol!

[@kellymcdonald9552]

S1 gf sounds like my mother and that's why I moved three states away from that woman.

[@susankaempfer8427]

Fancy that guy trying to get op to indelibly stamp HIS name onto her whilst chatting up other women. I suspect he’s the same sort of person to get op pregnant and to quit her career the moment he’s found someone he wants as a mistress.

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

Shacking up isn’t appropriate for a Christian. Neither is drunk texting. You guys are not a match. It will take her a while to adjust to her new lifestyle. You need to move on OP. Nobody is the AH here.

[@sarahmiller2431]

Markee: "this is not someone you stick with, id just chuck him out" Me: ".... on the barbie?"

[@waitwhat1029]

Tattoo artist here and there is so much job security in people tattooing their partner's name on them. XD Cover ups are good money.

[@vegaskullkid4503]

As a Christian, I've found that the best way to show people you truly believe in God and his teachings is not by badgering, forcing it on, judging, or belittling them. It's by living a life that shows you believe and walking in the teachings and principles of God in the best way you can everday. While also acknowledging that you're NOT better than anyone and are just as much a sinner as someone who doesn't believe; the only difference being you accepted Jesus and repented (which doesn't give you the right to judge, badger et cetera when someone doesn't do so.)

[@dre1978]

Holy sh!t it's currently 3:15 in the morning for me I was not expecting this during work lmao

[@merenguesaurio]

7 am here, preparing to go to work. This is just what I needed

[@NoOne-fo1di]

"I don't want you to go to hell" trust me lol I won't

[@huskytail]

I am so grateful that both my husband and I grew up outside religion and completely agree on it. I wouldn't be able to be with someone who believes in any deity and I would struggle a lot if I was in S1 OP's shoes.

[@mercyjokes2d696]

My one side protestant and other side Catholic, both sides said in my childhood "Marry in haste, repent in leisure". All though my childhood I heard this shite.

[@LadyBern]

Tattoo story, there was a guy in KZbin who convinced his fiancee/victim to tattoo their names on one another across their shoulder blades. They romantically got scheduled at the same time, both went. She came out and happily showed him his name on her back. He showed her a tattoo of some other praise that basically said no one could own him. The guy had a fetish for branding his SOs among other things.

[@littlegreycat]

Mary is making a mess. He should wait to tell his wife the last contact because she doesn't want that issue while out at sea. But she will need to know.

[@NarutoAddicted95]

I have been with my husband for 8 years with 2 kids together and would never get each other's names on our body. Indirect matching tats are cool, though. Think one person with a magic hat while the other has a rabbit or something.

[@IrisAsuras]

Story 1: He should leave. She has changed the dynamic and terms of the relationship. He does not agree. They are not compatible and therefore should end. Her continued harassment is abuse. The commenter who says they're an atheist and the only way for a true believer who thinks their loved one will go to hell is to try and save them, is bonkers imo. Respect his beliefs and where he is at in life. That's all there is too it. Learn to live with the fact people do not hold your beliefs.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: NTA. Tell her 1) You really don't want to, so even if she bullies you into it (and giving you the cold shoulder and not talking to you "unless you're willing to go to church" is absolutely bullying you into it), you will be faking it and resenting it, which is not only a mark against you in her god's eyes (lying), but a surefire way to kill the relationship. 2) Either she has to be willing to compromise (she has her religion and you do you), or you're incompatible and need to move on. Instead of boundary stomping all over you and your trauma and wishes, she needs to find someone of the same religion, if it's that important to her, not try to pressure you into converting. I'm with Markee, I think asking OP to pay her rent for a few months is stupid. It's her place, and just as he would have no protections if she kicked him out, she has none if he moves out. Furthermore, he has to not only get a new place, which often asks for multiple months of rent upfront, but all the deposits getting a new place brings as well. "She started drunk texting me begging me to find god so we could be together again." Tell her you were fine before she found god, so maybe the problem is not that you need to find him, but she needs to lose him. S2: "It could actually show our love to one another!" gave me flashbacks to all the posts where one side of a couple is trying to push the other into opening the relationship, lol. No means no. As I tell my kids, "Just because you don't like my answer doesn't mean it's going to change." "He took it as I think me and him will break up soon." This gives me flashbacks to the "We don't need a prenup because I never plan on divorcing you, do you have one foot out the door with me?" arguments, and it is another form of manipulation. Tell him you weren't thinking of breaking up with him until he made this weird hill to die on. S3: Wife's opinion on cheating would make me reevaluate the relationship. Edit: I'm glad she realized she stuck her foot in it. "Mary was disappointed I'd told my wife about what happened..." Um, what did she think you were going to do? "...and explained she wasn't cheating on her husband because they had an open relationship." Yeah, I'd need to confirm that with her husband before I believed it.

[@ChiquitaBanana-si5qq]

I only want to respond to Markee saying she forfeited her right to his kindness. Breaking up, because of her trying to get him to go to church? Fair enough, but why do you think that means kindness is forfeited? Since no one must have told you this: How YOU treat people is a reflection of who YOU are, not who THEY are. That’s something people seem to forget to teach, in modern society. It’s a pretty basic truth. If you look back at anyone who’s betrayed you, there were probably clues that they were going to. How did they treat people who were no longer “useful”? How did they tell you they reacted, in the past? How did they tell you they “got back at people” who upset them in the past? That was them telling you who they ARE, & that was your warning.