My Fiance Is Convinced I'm Babytrapping Him Even Though My Tubes Are Tied r/Relationships

[@esthermcafee5293]

Ah, that awkward moment when you discover the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with is an idiot…

[@Davtwan]

Even worse, they’re an easily influenced idiot. For real though, I hope he gets help. The after-effects of abuse typically last for years.

[@mbyerly9680]

How can you not tell unless you are an idiot, too?

[@Callimo]

Yeah, OP going "He's a smart guy, just easily influenced!" is not the flex they think it is lol

[@carolroberts4614]

Better than finding out about the idiotishness when you have two small children...just saying!

[@KCohere33]

I call it fortuitous that she found out before it was too late.

[@ablankenship83]

When a guy suddenly freaks out at you about being “trapped”, I immediately suspect dude is cheating, and is projecting what he fears the side chick is trying to do to him on the unassuming betrayed partner.

[@chrisester2910]

This was my first thought, "Did he get the side chicken pregnant?"

[@videofan1010]

When men start doing things like this - the first thing I would do is ask him 1) is there anything I can do to get you psychiatric help? 2) if not - get out.

[@sugakookie7985]

Maybe not cheating yet but the desire to be free to pursue other women dump him

[@ebifuon6776]

Low value men

[@boneymeroney2674]

This is as funny as the married man who planned a baby with his wife, then went off the cliff with a baby trap story. I think his own mother tried to beat the stupid out of him.😂

[@falxblade1352]

At least someone close to that hilusband got baby trapped. This mr. OP did for... wait, why, exactly?

[@kaykay8855]

I remember that post. That husband nuked his marriage.

[@ComaLies225]

What’s the name of the post?

[@mikouf9691]

I was thinking about that story! (Or one similar.) If I call correctly, they already had a child and she was pregnant with the second (both planned) so when he expressed that he was worried about being baby trapped, she laughed and said that he couldn't be more trapped than he already was.

[@tamsel814]

Just placing a comment in the hope that someone names or links that story.

[@laurag502]

accusing someone of baby trapping you when they aren’t even pregnant is literally insane behavior

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

When they got surgical intervention to _prevent_ pregnancy?! Like, they were on the same page!

[@TheRockinDonkey]

Why is he getting married if he doesn’t want to be trapped?

[@MrJpaynebb]

His anxiety + uncle's talk + childfree friend now becoming a parent was just the storm to put him over the edge. I don't think his childfree stance is a strong as he thinks it is. Men can also change their mind about wanting kids from a solid no to a maybe or even full yes as they age. That's OK for anyone to do. It's not OK to project your fears and doubts though on your partner just because you're have a mini mid-life crisis. Glad they broke up because OP doesn't need that doubt and stress in their life.

[@dvonart]

Plus the "trapping you in a marriage" Uh they were already getting married, how is that a trap?

[@lifewithlee6298]

Over reaching

[@GaskyChan]

I don’t know what’s worse pretending to have forgotten that your partner had their tubes tied or actually forgetting

[@aubreymorgan9763]

there was another story, I think Markee did cover it, where a guy became unreasonably angry at his girlfriend because she didn't want to have more kids after the 1 she already had, even though he acknowledged that she said early on she didn't want more kids. he was so angry she wouldn't have HIS child. then as a comment, not even an update, he remembered she said she couldn't have more kids due a medical condition that nearly killed her the first time. some men are just incredibly stupid when it comes to women.

[@nutritionnut3975]

Definitely pretending. Shows a streak of dishonesty where the other is just stupidity

[@andrewalexander9492]

Well, first off, tubal ligation is not 100% effective, neither is a vasectomy. It's rare, but it happens. The human body has amazing regenerative powers. I read a news story a while back about a couple who had a child with some profound congenital birth defect. It was not certain which one of them bore the genes for that birth defect, and they both wanted to make certain that under no circumstances couple either of them have another child with that issue, so they *both* were surgically sterilized, he a vasectomy, and she a tubal ligation. Some time later, she got pregnant, by him. And that child had the same birth defect, and they were suing their respective doctors. Unfortunate deal all around, but the point is, neither a vasectomy nor a tubal ligation 100% eliminates the possibility of a future pregnancy. Second, and perhaps more to the point, people lie about things like this. It ain't like she's going to have a big old "tubal ligation " scar running halfway up her abdomen, tubal ligation scars are very small and unobtrusive. Some men men lie about vasectomies, some women lie about being on birth control, or having had their tubes tied. I don't know what this guys specific concern is, and he may indeed be acting unreasonably. But he is not imagining a scenario whcih can't possibly happen.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

@@andrewalexander9492 good point. i've heard at least with vasectomy they should be checked up on early or every few years to check for things working again. I'd imagine for women its similar

[@andrewalexander9492]

@@aubreymorgan9763Yeah, although it's relatively simple to check to see if there's sperm in a man's semen. I'm not sure how you'd check to see if a tubal ligation had failed.

[@kissedbypalefirex]

story 2: HOLY CRAP! op is in DENIAL ....your husband is abusive. GET OUT, GET AWAY from this man, he is dangerous...I'd really like more updates.

[@tamsel814]

Ex fiances reasoning sounds like the extreme version of "you did something mean in my dreams so now I'm angry at you"

[@kamicokrolock]

Story 1: NTA, I get the feeling the fiancee was desperately looking for an out and got stuck on the idea of being baby trapped so hard he forgot OP had had her tubes tied. Which is an awfully big thing to forget about. I honestly would rethink the relationship too, if I were in OP's shoes

[@JodyBruchon]

Did you actually listen to the full story? Because that's what OP said happened: the guy realized he wanted kids and wanted out of the child-free relationship he was about to commit to permanently.

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 2: the fact OP grew up with her mom enduring DV pretty much means the "don't tell me get out, or divorce rtf now" actually means that she knows deep down knows what her partner is doing is DV but doesn't want to admit that she picked a partner who did that, likely because growing up she was thinking "I'll never pick a partner who will do that to me!"; just an arm chair psychologist theory of what went on in OP's brain though.

[@onepiecestudio1797]

Imagine getting upset over a problem you yourself made up...

[@demontoaster5670]

6:35 Yeah I KNOW the signs of DV, but I don't care, now tell me how to I get my husband not to be abusive!

[@Alissandre_Iskander]

Story 1: So... he knew from the start that you didn't want kids... and had to be reminded that you had your tubes tied?! Short of a neon sign, idk how much clearer you could be on the matter.

[@80soa]

Second story is like... "I know i know I'm gonna get tortured and murdered" lmao ok then what do you want from ppl on reddit?

[@babybookworm003]

I get the impression from the line there’s nothing left to talk about means op isn’t staying it’s about how to say she’s leaving

[@spicedcoffee9902]

I get that baby trapping is a genuine problem and could even border sexual abuse, but people really need to be careful when accusing someone of something this serious when all they have to go off is paranoia and no evidence. If you don't want to be a father at the moment just say that, no need for the theatrics.

[@DominosAndHearts]

This exactly! It also takes two to conceive so if he doesn't want lids he needs to take precautions and yes I know op said they have their tubes tied but still dude seems so worried about something without taking precautions HE can to prevent it 😅

[@lilywong9672]

Baby trapping happens more often with the genders reversed. Men like to baby trap women to hamper their careers, prevent them from leaving easily, etc. It's a lot harder for mothers to walk away from a baby than the other way around.

[@tigernotwoods914]

@@DominosAndHearts well that’s just thing, and this doesn’t apply to this story, but in general, that is a fact it takes two to conceive, but that’s all it takes is to only conceive. It only takes one to choose to bring the actual child into the world and then the guy is stuck for the next 18 years whether he wants a kid or not, because there is no abortion unfortunately but that said an entirely different discussion for a different day, but that is a thing.

[@JodyBruchon]

If you watched the video, you'd learn the guy was leveling the accusation to get out of the relationship because the uncle's story made him think he may actually want to children.

[@Ellerwind]

@@DominosAndHearts Most guy see it as the woman’s problem to not have a baby. Guy: Condom. Woman: The pill, morning after pill, IUD and a lot of others I don’t know about or think of right now. So while like cheating, you need to two to tango the guy sees it as “You have more birth control things then me so… your problem to fix”

[@motherofdogs27]

This is just like the husbands that suddenly demand a paternity test “out of nowhere” and then react badly when the test proves they really are the father. No going back from that kind of crazy.

[@ajb7530]

OPs fiance is too much of a coward to be honest and have a genuine conversation. And I do agree this guy could be cheating.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: Op’s fiancée knew that op didn’t want kids and got her tubes tied, but he thinks that she wants to baby trap him?

[@ladythalia227]

The paranoia is strong in this one

[@macylouwho1187]

He’s just panicking over getting married and wanting to back out. That’s all that is. It’s classic cold feet syndrome.

[@mbyerly9680]

With a large side of stupid.

[@kureaz]

That's what I thought. Idiot had cold feet and looked for an excuse why the wedding wasn't his choice

[@b.f.2461]

OK, he doesn't trust OP and suspects her of evil intentions towards him despite evidence to the contrary. This is going to be a problem any time there are normal difficulties going forward - "You trapped me by losing your job! You trapped me by getting sick! You trapped me by needing a ride to the airport at 6 am!" I don't see any real way to have a happy life like this.

[@notovny]

"You trapped me by putting a bear trap on the basement stairs!"

[@AnnMegFair]

You have to understand, he misinterpreted what babytrap means. He thinks it means he - the baby - is feeling trapped by scary grownup words like marriage, and communication.

[@fawn2911]

☠️☠️☠️

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

DV story: I'm a DV survivor and abusers baby-step their SOs into normalizing the abuse (he has anger issues but was always easy to calm down) and I'm sure her dad did this to her mom. Once they cross that final line and hit their victim they'll do it again and again. Plus, her husband is a cop. That's bad. She could go to a shelter and this guy will get his "brothers" to help him track her down. She needs to seriously ghost this guy.

[@annem7806]

He is looking for a way out. Let him go. Save your money. Secure your funds and credit line. Call the landlord to break the lease. Buy yourself flowers. Move on. Find a better man. You deserve better. Call it all off. He can live with his angry uncle. Is he cheating? Did he really stay at his uncle's and not w a side chick? You don't need to be his friend, he was not one to you.

[@annem7806]

26 years. Have you gotten lazy? Sounds like a therapy appt is needed. Is this the 1st time you've heard about this?

[@LadyDiva2545]

What the hell is wrong with men feeling so comfortable with kicking and punching doors in? I went through the same crap with a guy I've known since middle school. We're both in our mid 40s. Yes alcohol was involved, I just got home and he had finished a bottle of tequila. Of course I got upset when I come in to chaos around the house....etc!!! So then he decided I had his phones and punched through my entrance door and bedroom door. I'm single now and probably forever because I will not chance that again.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

Were you dating the hulk?

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

This is American. In American culture, men may be violent, abuse women, in any way, cheat, and abandon families, and that is seen as a mans' 'right'., and men are never punished, for cheating, for violence, for abusing women, or for abandoning families. Before you sneer, and hurl abuse, can you name 100 American men, from each state, who are serving long sentences, in Category A designation, and Category A (I don't speak American, so I don't know the American for Category A), prisons, for crimes against women?. No? Didn't think so. You will sneer 'look it up yourself, b****', and spew the usual; Reddit misogynist drivel, as you don't have the balls to reply respectfully, or even in a civil manner, to a WOMAN.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

​@@bjtaylor-j9w Hey, it's the Misandryist and they are spewing misandry! What a shock.

[@επιθετικόακτινιδιο]

St1: The fact that OP casually refers to her ex as someone who is impressionable...and cannot tell the difference between fiction and reality...well is spooky. Either her ex is THAT dumb who forgets major things like tubes being tied or he is THAT mentally disturbed. Either way to me this doesn't make sense. He may wanted to break up because the reason is stupid and unbelievable

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

2:14 no way OP was too harsh! OP gave every indication that she doesn’t want kids? And why would he be trapped into marriage if they’re planning to get married? Does he already have an exit plan? Cuz that reason, or any he’s given tbh, makes zero sense!

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

First story: I fail to see the appeal of being in a serious relationship with a significant other that *requires a leash* to function.

[@DaniS398]

I used to destroy things when I got angry. After I had kids, I talked to my doctor, got diagnosed with GAD got on medication and go to weekly therapy. It might be "who I am" but that can change and has changed because I care about my family and myself to put in the work and stop the cycle.

[@fawn2911]

anxiety doesn't make people abusive tho

[@crichtonbruce4329]

Most human behavior can be changed or at least modified, but that will never happen unless, as in your case, the person admits there is a problem and commits to doing the work to effect the change.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

S3: OP was being too sensitive? OP made sex sound like a chore! In front of people? And doubling down is the usual?! 🚩🚩🚩🚩 And she’s been holding onto this for 18 years?! Bro….

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Wait, did I hear the story wrong? What did the uncle do? It’s not like he told the fiancé/his nephew that OP was gonna baby trap him or be a terrible spouse or anything, he just shared his own life experience. I don’t see where it’s stated that the uncle was manipulating his nephew in any way, why is he getting blasted? Not his fault his idiot nephew took his life experience and inserted it into his own relationship.

[@SingingMermaid4]

Yeah I kinda thought that too. I was like, wait what did the uncle do exactly? I think OP is using the uncle to partially blame for the failing of her relationship because the ex is pointing to the uncle as reason #2 or 3 for his mental gymnastics

[@eldeano9964]

pRedditors gonna project. Especially if a guy is involved somehow.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

I think it's possible the uncle just told him about something that happened in his own life and the OP's boyfriend just twisted it all in his own mind. Another possibility though is that the uncle was giving the boyfriend a "teaching moment" about the dangers of women and using his story as a device to teach this lesson. The jury is out since OP and everyone else are just assuming.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

Most probably the uncle told him that experience with no purpose on particular and OP's boyfriend thought he had the perfect excuse to get out of the relationship

[@TopazFire15]

I think that’s what OP meant by he’s very impressionable and can’t separate fact from fiction. Uncle probably didn’t say it to imply anything, but ex fiancé took it and internalized it, using it as an excuse to escape the relationship.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Not even an apology on the last post, just excuses and backpedaling. I appreciate the comments advising OP to communicate but like the replies said, wife just wanted to put OP down and no amount communication or reasoning would change that.

[@chrisester2910]

DV story: OP needs to take the kids and escape. Her stbex husband needs to get into a DV group and anger management so that his next relationship can be okay.

[@lauraanderson8785]

It scares me to hear these stories of people getting ideas in their head and doubling down instead of looking at the evidence right in front of them. It sounds like a nightmare to be in a relationship with someone and for them to so easily get carried away with their paranoia. It's good to listen to others and take their opinions into account, but you shouldn't be so easily influenced that you'll build a whole false reality up in your head.

[@robinronin]

Man-o-sphere man: [points at a clear sky] I once heard a woman say the sky is blue, which means it isn’t. No but for real, S1, if he has any negative biases about marriage, doesn’t understand biology (tying tubes, but also including how genes work if you do want children in the future), and has inc-l male relatives he still has contact with... He’s not the guy for you 😂

[@Ms777Lena]

I was immediately suspecting that he doesn't want to commit without a possibility of a child, because "maybe change his mind"as he said. It happened more than once. Tied tubes make them insecure.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

People change as they get older. If he's not sure he should move on.

[@naomiomi7340]

If he's concerned about being trapped in a marriage he SHOULDN'T be getting married!!!!!!!!!

[@fawn2911]

​@@RisetoStrength?

[@HunnieSuckle24]

The ex isn't ready for marriage or a relationship for that matter. How could he go so far as to accuse OP of baby-trapping when it's not even possible for her to have kids and even broached the idea of him getting a vasectomy? He created a completely different bizarro world alternate universe scenario in his head for two weeks then began acting funny. One of the biggest problems in relationships is lack of communication. Clearly, he fit the profile. If he's going to let everyone's opinion and experiences dictate his relationship, he's going to be single forever. No one in their right mind is going to put up with that. He shouldn't be having kids in that mental state regardless if his parents want grandchildren. Why traumatize a child like that with him as a father in this current mental state? That kid wouldn't stand a chance. OP needs to cut him off completely and move on from him. Mental health is a real thing but the biggest issues are lack of trust and communication within his own relationship. He didn't have enough sense to talk to OP about his concerns or fears to begin with. That's enough for me to end the relationship. If you can't openly talk to the person that you plan to spend your life with, the relationship is already over. Stop looking at other people's relationships as the blueprint for how relationships should be. Everyone has a different dynamic.

[@DominosAndHearts]

Op really needs to ditch fisnce, he spunds so immature and naive and PARANOID 😢 also it takes two to concievd so if he really duesnt want kids what is HE doimg on his part? Yes i know op got their tubes tied but still dude needs to think 😅😂

[@Fluttershy890]

Sidenote: Even with your tubes tied, there is still a chance you can get pregnant. It's rare, but it still happens.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

I've known a few.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

17:22 Idk that he actually thinks this is out of line. Saying it’s just how he is and that OP knows what gets him that way is just him not accepting accountability. I also think someone mistook Narc for cop, but I think OP meant narcissist which kinda fits.

[@candaceowens455]

I grew up with violence in the family as well. I have extremely good self control. I have never been in a physical fight. But my urge for violence goes from 0 to 60 in 2 second when anyone try’s violence towards me. I know I could be dangerous if cornered. So this is the opposite side of the coin for you. What happens if he goes to far and you have to stop him….. make sure you file complaints with police

[@fawn2911]

real

[@VidGirl88]

Story 1: had a similar experience with MIL but about money instead of babies. I laughed and reminded her fiancee had debt and I was free and clear. That was hilarious

[@sdathomas5088]

Second story: That comment that "all physical intimacy [like kisses, cuddles, hugs, etc] disappear without sex" is CRAZY.

[@benjie128]

I went to school with someone whose mom had her tubes tied, and later had twins (my classmates). I also had a friend who was on the pill, her husband had a vacestomy and they used protection, and all three failed. Honestly, a hysterectomy is the only 100% way to ensure no babies. (I lost count how many times I had to initial and sign off acknowledging I wouldn't be able to have kids biologically when I had my total hysterectomy)

[@avaphynx]

Or tube removal that's far better than tubes tied and there's a lot of issues that comes with hysterectomy.

[@chrisester2910]

I really think that fiance needs some deep therapy and maybe meds. He sounds legit delusional since he built an alternate reality in his mind that severely impacted his life choices and behavior.

[@catsncrows]

S1 lmao! I would say "Dear, I made an appointment for you. Here put on this jacket, yes it has lots of straps and buckles" Wow, he really had some intense trauma like trauma psychosis level. What the heck happened to him?😬

[@damienhailey118]

OP 2: we don't need to be hearing "Poppa don't hit me no more".

[@angeliqueSeidlitz2388]

Omg 2nd story . this.....my ex was verbal with me and him and his folks told me "it's just the way he is, just let him do it" no no no. My now husband is great and soft spoken.

[@EnDB]

Hope the last OP moves on. She's not worth fixing anything with.

[@Safaridor]

Saying “marriage isn’t a trap, anyone can leave at any time” is like saying: “It wasn’t a scam, it looks exactly like the photo on the website”

[@denelva]

As a woman on the ace spectrum, in the not fun perimenopaus, the wife in the last story sickens me. Instead of dealing with the changes in her body - and mind - in a mature way, she decides to treat her husband like crap. I just can't stand that sort of person, projecting their own problems/insecurities on their partner - and especially not in front of other people! It's cruel, demeaning, immature and utterly selfish. I'm in my early forties and struggles a lot with my lust right now, since it's easily ruined by stress and pain. I have a physically heavy job that sometimes gives me lighter, but still annoying, injuries and that definitely doesn't help. I handle it by reminding me it will get easier again in a little while, that it's not about being turned-off or not loving my hubby. It's simply a case of outer factors combined with a couple of internal ones that sometimes makes this a problem. The idea of blaming my hubby for this IN ANY WAY, is the last thing I'd consider and in front of others? Just unthinkable. It's like the story about the ace woman who tried to make her hubby look like he wasn't trying in bed because she felt ashamed for her own sexuality. I just can't wrap my head around why you'd do this to someone you love. Heck, I wouldn't even do it to an ex I truly didn't care for anymore. And it's heartbreaking how OP feels like he needs to tell reddit about his body, as if it would've been okay if he was overweight. I was overweight for ten years in my relationship and not once did my hubby make me feel unattractive due to my excess weight. He was my greatest support while losing weight and never ever made negative comments about my body no matter the size. OP: it doesn't matter how your body looks, it's still NEVER OKAY to treat your SO like your wife did. You deserve so much better.

[@SorenPenrose]

She recognized the second he told her that it was her fault. Good catch. She knew when to fold.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

She Needs together out. Studies have found that a minimum of 40 percent of families of police officers have experienced some type of domestic violence. This can include anything from harassment and stalking to homicide.

[@survivalsamuel]

Story2 it's always a cop Story3 home girl destroy her entire relationship oof that ruff

[@Ma5jay5dontxdoxthat]

For stroy 3 fr. She seemed to have a healthy sex life with op for over 20 years, but because she can't cum with penetration (which is common for a lot of women) its bad? She literally made her own husband stop feeling sexual attraction to her. If they stay together, she just killed her sex life that she apparently also enjoyed.

[@Dragonemperess]

Braincells just dripping on the floor. What?

[@jeneden3492]

Just by reading the title...guy wants to break up. After hearing the story: yep, he wants to break up/is cheating

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story two: ...I think you already know the answer OP. With your children. So, start preparing to leave. Please. You and your kids deserve better than this...thing.

[@ValleyLili]

Remember when I read this on reddit... I haven't sighed this hard in a long time and I have teenage kids and a 4 year old!

[@sarahkelly4026]

Story 1: NTA. Though your confidence is too high. I know someone who somehow managed to get pregnant after tubal ligation. Odds are 1 in 200 for failure using this method. Still, if I were OP I would cancel the wedding because this guy is weak-minded and doesn’t believe women as a default. Good decision to break up.

[@Solarstormflare]

wife probably shouldn't have said that but op didnt notice his wife wasnt enjoying it for 18 years? not impressed by him either

[@littlepeeper9223]

I'm so tired of being told you're overreacting or being too sensitive because you set boundaries. People in today's episode have no self-awareness.

[@SakuraMoonflower]

8:55 Mans really let his uncle destroy his impending marriage. 😅 But he can really only spend so much of his life blaming other people for why he's so messed up when he's the one not setting boundaries, HE'S the one not communicating, HE'S the only one projecting- not EVERYBODY else. However, the fact he caught on to the idea that he might change his mind about kids is important and was another good reason to call the whole thing off. He may not have meant to, but he fundamentally lied to OP when he said he wanted to be child free. That relationship wasn't going to be sustainable.

[@thgritic102]

As someone whose tubes were yeeted & burned, if a guy starts assuming I'm trying to baby trap him, he's out the door. Don't put your fears on me when I made the decision to go under the knife while you refused to have a vasectomy to be on the safe side if you're that scared. Reasons why I'm staying single #2745, people putting their worries & fears onto you. But of course, he let everyone influenced him. He doesn't need therapy, he needs TRAUMA therapy. They need to go deeper w/ him since the first few rounds didn't have hard hitting questions of what he went through.

[@michamocha]

Honestly, it sounds like this was an attempt to find an excuse to leave Op but it backfired on him. The dude is an idiot. They're not even married yet and he's already acting like she's keeping him hostage. He could just...leave.

[@SCP01986]

But that's too easy! Men have this thing where they'd rather make the relationship so miserable for himself and her just so she's the one forced to end it. I don't understand why men do that.

[@hanoh2904]

It's not about kids. It's about marriage. If she wants that and he clearly doesn't then she shouldn't be wasting her time

[@michaeldowson6988]

Story 1; Don't marry into that family of the ignoranti. Story 3; Just tell her that 'Conversation with her does nothing for you.'

[@FanFicnic]

Wow we as a society need to realize that penetration is not the only thing that counts as sex. Like all the stuff in between and before is too.

[@3.7413]

Right?? Like he literally said she still gets off it's not like there's a dead bedroom

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 2: Why. Tf. Did you. Marry him. WHY, TF, DID YOU MARRY HIM?! Girl. GIRL. *_Get out of there!_*

[@jumpmain]

1. He made up that problem to break up with her.

[@WobblesandBean]

Story 2: Oh, he's a cop. That makes sense. Cops and DV go together like peas and carrots.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

I think in story 2, when OP said "narc," she meant narcissist. A lot of people abbreviate it as narc, which is confusing as it also could mean a narcotics cop. I may be wrong, though.

[@ladyv5655]

Ok, first thing, pregnancy test. Second, hire a P.I. and find out if he's cheating. Third, cancel the wedding. There is no hope for that stupid guy.

[@sandrakranzwinther3286]

Hey Markee, You are always so empathetic, especially in the violent situations. It really rubbed me the wrong way when you laughed about her being on the next "Real Crime Time" found dead somewhere. It was obvious she was in denial and she got the asskicking she needed and I hope she leaves him. I really want to think that you deep down know it's hard to leave a situation like this. Her parents probably paved the way for a husband like this and of course his so loving in the beginning. Now she is trapped with children and maybe her parents wants her to stay "because you just need to give and take in a relationship".

[@hippie1252]

For the last story, I think the wife deserves a little more grace. She was insensitive with her comments on a private matter in front of friends. Many would consider that a marriage ender, which is understandable. However, I think the underlying issue didn't really get touched on. Giving birth changed her libido forever. I didn't hear the story from her side, but I'd like to think she didn't just go two decades without mentioning anything to her husband. And OP mentioned that he was in good shape, but that doesn't really have anything to do with it. It doesn't matter that the husband is physically attractive, his wife underwent physical and hormonal changes after starting their family. I hope they're able to work through this.

[@mikehilbert9349]

Story 1: Maybe he realized that OP was nuts for having her tubes tied, because, check notes, she had to help take care of her siblings as a child.

[@EnDB]

Trapped... So he's not going to marry her willingly. OP needs to walk away from that.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Dude in story 1 is so spineless! OP is right, he was projecting his fears, anxiety and trauma on OP when OP literally did nothing wrong! There really is no trusting dude.

[@Amelia073]

Story 1 OP is traumatized to a point that he has no critical thinking skills

[@alyzu4755]

It's funny how often people will accuse their partners of foing exactly what they, themselves are doing. We humans are really good at not taking responsibility for ourselves.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

#1. Sounds like the guy was having second thoughts and wasn't ready to write off having kids. They weren't meant to be.

[@ircillo351]

Plot twist : Ap is pregnant and blackmailing him, now he's gotta split from op calling it now

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

13:16 I mean….what’s the help needed then? 🤨 Is an exit plan in place? And now he’s just like - that’s just who I am! 🤷‍♂️ Okay, I thought I was being insensitive, it everyone seemed to have the same question.

[@fluffthecake]

I like this where it's only 1 story instead of a huge video that's like 2 hours long. This keeps my attention better

[@veezopolis]

story 2: I don't want any advice that is about leaving my domestic abuse partner. I mean I watched my mom getting beaten my entire life and I thought her staying was the right move so I'm going to do it too. Does this op hear herself? What advice did she think she'd hear?

[@BlastFromThePastTheGoodOldDays]

If he is so easily swayed and convinced of a physical impossibility- what else would he be swayed by "You might cheat on me so I cheated first" "I don't trust you financially, but I also find it suspicious you don't want a joint account" Sounds like he has iceberg feet wants an out but doesn't want to be the bad guy

[@cabbitt]

Story 1: OP’s fiancé sounds like the kind of guy who gets married, gets bored after a few years, starting cheating and ends up with a pregnant affair partner. Good Lord. I hope she leaves.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: OP's ex: _You're babytrapping meee!!!_ 😭😭😭 OP: _Honey..._ ✨ _My tubes are tied~_ ✨ 😀 OP's ex: *dead silence* Dude has issues. Needs to work on not getting so easily influenced (unless he doesn't want to or he's too far gone). After update: ...Dude needs to get *FAR AWAY* of the toxic people in his life. And I do hope he gets on a healthier mindset. His parents may help him, but I can't get over the fact that the usual babysitters were *his toxic uncle and his family.* Why does it sound like this was his own parents doing?! 😬😬😬

[@mert828]

She said he was a narc. That could mean he's a narcotics officer... or a snitch. Not sure.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

story 2...uhm yea. ok. my ex was verbally abusive but i was used to that so accepted it. as time went on things escalated more and more. when he started to kick the doors in is when I left. I did give him a second chance almost a year later and biggest regret, so don't even try that. leave. leave now don't turn back.

[@tishjanuary7379]

I hope there is another update on the last one.

[@hvymax]

She knows what gets him that way so it's her fault. It's Her Fault for being there.

[@francb1634]

Story 2: the husband isn't a cop, that commenter simply misunderstood OP's use of "narc"

[@tooblessed8815]

S2: She must love him to death, so until death do they part must mean a great deal to her. She claims she knows the signs but wants advice... I can't even bother to type up a response for her. Good luck OP.

[@ndawn90]

My ex kicked the door down (the front door). I stayed. About 9 months later, he nearly strangled me to death.

[@lina9535]

Makes me think if he has an AP that he's worried has tried to babytrap him 🤔

[@salomerodriguez5145]

In a world of jokes about going for cigarettes and fatherless behaviour, not to mention co-parenting always being an option, how are men still worried about baby trapping?

[@rowdysgirlalways]

Always love your videos!

[@cyclicl7312]

Interesting people out there

[@donnaallen2207]

Evidently he's not stupid just has bad luck thinking. Especially thinking for himself. 😮

[@damien678]

Men with anger management can and would change if they loved you (and themselves) enough to not hurt their loved ones. I'm sorry.

[@suitov]

Story 1 guy is an entire cashew tree, I'm sorry. Good riddance, not because he's unsalvageable, but because he NEEDS this time to get his head right. Him referring to marriage as a 'trap' would _alone_ have been enough to slam on the brakes. Who tf would want to marry a partner who felt that way? Instant desire-killer for me! Story 2's replies frustrated me. It read to me that OP knew damn well what was going on, already intended to escape, and wanted help _in the moment_ to say something that'd get him off her back _for now_ and not arouse his suspicions. I don't think she was in denial like every commenter assumed. But I could be wrong; I haven't directly talked to DV victims. Anyway, what's important is that I hope she and the kids are safe now. (Shout-out to the commenter who read "narc" and thought that meant cop. It was narcissist.) Story 3, there are several possible reasons she said that and all are relationship-enders. "I was tipsy" is NOT one of those possible reasons. There's no way a specific statement, mentioning a start date, came out of nowhere just because she fancied some drunken banter.