My Girlfriend Lost Her Grandmothers Ring, I Found It And Want To Propose With It - AITA Reddit

[@justozzy5559]

Last story: yeah saying she isn't "generally" homophobic is being nice. I don't tell people my younger aunt "isn't generally racist" just because she doesn't always say racist things. She's still racist, even when she is acting like a decent person.

[@spibow]

The ring story; I knew for absolute certain that OP made the right choice. Her family loved the idea, and from what it seems, she has a good relationship with them. To me that telegraphs that it was a good plan. They probably know her very well. Much like OP's gf, I'm interested in the energetic properties of objects (including stones) and honestly, the proposal is so beautiful - its not taking away or "tainting" from the original meaning, it's adding to it. Objects that are given history is something that strongly positively impacts the properties of an item spiritually. I'm very glad his gf loved it ::)

[@t.matthies3049]

Especially with her not wanting a fancy ring, it seemed to me like this would be her preferred ring anyways (even before it was confirmed). OP definitely knows his fiancé well.

[@Atlquotl]

This. I just felt like the idea behind the gift would match *this woman* it may not match every woman's needs/wants but for her, the sentimentality of it was the most important aspect. Others prefer the ability to show off to others, and make themselves the center of attention, whereas she prefers the heart and soul that goes into the gift. A big ring can be bought on credit and have absolutely no heart or soul. This was fought for and earned because of his love for her. I think knowing her that well is going to be an important aspect of maintaining their relationship.

[@magnarcreed3801]

I mean I got a good relationship with most of my family but most of them still put themselves in my shoes but don’t actually think of how I’m a different person from them. I think that’s why people warned him. Glad he guessed right though.

[@zerobolt9506]

Same

[@zerobolt9506]

@@magnarcreed3801 yea, I'm glad he also went with the idea of going ring shopping with her if she wanted even though she like using that ring as the engagement ring. Also don't know about anyone else but I hate all the people that was condemning OP in his DMs, I feel like they were jealous AHs and/or trolls that just wanted to be mean.

[@mkaylor121]

First story: the fact that you spent hours looking for it and found it I think would mean the world to her. You should absolutely propose with it

[@darkshadow5581]

Agreed. Especially since she has joked about the candy ring before, I don't think there could be a ring that more symbolizes OP thinking of her than getting a group of people together to spend hours just to get her something she lost.

[@Gir0Fan0Number01]

Exactly. Personally I'd be over the moon if someone proposed with something I treasured and lost. The effort to find it, and the gesture, gives the feeling that one is worth the time and effort, and a priority Also the whole "it's tacky to use a ring someone else paid for" is ignorant in the fact that many people inherit engagement/wedding rings, or use a ring from a beloved family member

[@stilettosnthaghetto6997]

I'm on the fence and with the crowd use it as the stage for the proposal but I definitely wouldn't want my own ring as an engagement ring. That's just me though.

[@jameswatson9338]

Yeah, I agree. Something with so much meaning to begin with gets that much meaning added to it? It would become her most valuable treasure by far. She already said that paying money for a ring is not unto itself an important love gesture for her. The only way I would really see it backfiring is if they later got divorced and the ring's meaning became tainted then. But, I'm glad it worked out well the way he approached it. Refreshing to hear a nice relationship story.

[@Icalasari]

Last Story - As a Bisexual myself, this shit is sadly common even in the LGBTQ community Us bi's can't get a break -.-

[@thedestroyasystem]

true

[@IvysPoison1987]

yep, bi as well and since I'm married to a man my sexuality seems to get completely erased. Everyone in my life knows (I came out at 14) and it still gets forgotten

[@Russman67]

The inheritance story: OP's father made his bed a long time ago. Grandmother saw this and intentionally disinherited him. If it were up to me I would have given him that $1 in pennies and be done with him. FTG!

[@bunnyslippers191]

"Well, if it isn't the consequences of my own behavior coming to visit me!" That line pretty much runs through my head every time I see one of these stories where someone treats a relative like crap and then has a fit when they get left a dollar in the will while the people who actually loved and helped the deceased person get most, if not all, the inheritance. Well, any story where people treat other people like crap and then get their just deserts.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 3: Looks like the wedding just got a whole heck of a lot cheaper with all the people who so kindly uninvited themselves

[@stevekerrigan6546]

True though i think id be uninviting the friend that pretty much outed the fiancee drunk or not aswell what a idiot

[@susanlayton2143]

Story 2: the grandmother left everything to her grandchild, it made me think of a story my mother told me from the time (many years) that she was in the land title business. A lady that they had been involved in selling some land for passed away and when the will was read she left her money and such to her 2 grandsons and to her son, their father, she left a 50 foot piece of rope and a note that said "You know what I hope you do with this."

[@Tammohawk1]

Last Story: Mom would have reacted that way no matter when or how she found out. She sent an offensive message to the fiancé, that is deplorable. And extremely homophobic. Someone's sexuality is no one's business but the person they choose to sleep with! I have a bi-sexual daughter in law, no big deal. She loves my son to pieces, and so I love her because of it Holy wow... This is so upsetting to me on so many levels. I married into a very LGBTQ family and could never imagine treating any family member like this.

[@bunnyslippers191]

And OP needs to find some better friends. I mean, who asks that sort of question about their friend's fiancee, even if they're drunk?? Is this some sort of guy thing, to question other guys about their brand new fiance's sexual past and sexuality? I'm surprised OP didn't haul off and bust that so called friend right in the mouth, or at least kick them out of the celebration. Seriously, who does that while celebrating a buddy's brand new engagement??

[@0Jenna7]

I would understand the knee jerk reaction. Especially if she hasn't been taught about sexual preferences like the newer generation has been exposed far more. But to say what she did, send those messages. Good grief. What's wrong with her?

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 2: I love when people who completely neglect and estrange themselves from someone then cry that they didn't get anything in the will because other people who continued to treat the deceased as family until they died "manipulated" them. Also, OP's dad is a total POS. Literally only came to see his mother in hospice because he was "banking" on his inheritance from her. Her last request from him was to see her the next day and he couldn't even make the effort to do that. Of course he only got a dollar.

[@AnymousScreams]

I relate so much to the last story. My mother loved saying I could date men or women, but not both. Additionally, not everyone in my life knows I'm bisexual unless they're close to me. I had a whole LGBTQ+ center cast me out as an outsider in college, once they knew I wasn't straight or gay. OP's mother is biphobic, and OP is a great guy for sticking with his fiancee. Most of my family are still convinced I'll be straight once I marry a guy. I'm bi myself, have no intention of marrying and am still bi despite being with mostly men. Gotta love the LGBTQ+ issues.

[@Nishanth_mementomori]

Second story : if the replacement brat is petty enough to take a personal issue to social media OP should also do the same and put the full story out there expose, the dad for how slimy he really is and the replacement family for who they really are

[@viennperidot1119]

Story One: I think OP's heart really was in the right place and made the right choice, backed up by the people who knew her best and the effort put into finding it makes it very sweet. Personally, I'd find something that compliments it, something simple and silver maybe with an amethyst or a rose quartz (I love rock stuff too, lol) and surprise her with the Grandma's ring then go down on your knee once she's recovered and propose. Lol, I wrote this before the follow up and that was the sweetest thing I've ever heard, omg

[@JootjeJ]

Last story: even if mother isn't homophobic, she definitely is biphobic. Apparently that's a thing too. I don't care what the subject: nobody should be so nasty to another person, especially the love of their child's life. I wouldn't be surprised if fiancé never gets over that.

[@svgamer7160]

I only knew that was a thing because of the Reddit with the biphobic lesbian.

[@toysruskid5074]

A lot of people associate Bi with disloyalty. To be clear though, studies show that females are far more likely to be bi (at least partially) than 100% straight or 100% lesbian. Even in nature (animals). (And loyalty is person by person and has nothing to do with sexuality)

[@dagnytheartist]

@@svgamer7160 yeah, sadly even the LGBTQ community is not exempt from being homophobic/biphobic/etc. Ideally we should be allies and friends but in practice there are some jerks and some unchecked biases

[@thedestroyasystem]

Exactly. There are so many stereotypes associated with bi people it’s ridiculous. We just can’t get a break.

[@grootsChannel]

@@thedestroyasystem I've never heard of any, do you have an example?

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA she'd be really happy he took the time to find something so important to her. This shows her he cares about her and what's important to her. Sister and mom are both excited. Don't listen to people who don't truly understand the situation and let them tell you otherwise. Plenty of people use rings "other people paid for". The fact that they are saying things contradictory of the girlfiends views about rings should tell you everything. Just throw in a comment like "this doesn't have to be your engagement ring but it's something I wanted you to have." Compare and contrast this to the story with the other story about a grandmother's ring. OP in that story decided he wanted to make an engagement ring out of grandma's ring but did it in a way to destroy the ring and when he asked mom, she seemed pretty hesitant about it but he did it anyway. In this situation the Mom and sister are telling him it's a great idea. Not only that but his girlfriend has made it clear she doesn't care about expensive rings and it's the meaning behind the ring that counts for her. The only people telling him otherwise are guys that don't really know her and are making arguments that have less to do with the girlfriend's beliefs and more to do with their own which aren't relevant because they aren't the ones being proposed to. Edit: I knew it. With a family as close as that one, they knew her well. It sucks people were being shitty to OP but that's reddit sometimes. It's not right though.

[@brigidtheirish]

I get that, but it can see it seriously backfiring, too. For one thing, it's a ring she already owned. That can come off as a little tacky. More importantly, it's a ring she *lost.* What if she thinks he found it much earlier and hid it from her until the proposal? Yes, he could explain when he found it and her sister could back him up, but she might be too emotional in the moment to listen.

[@brigidtheirish]

@Jack Empire Quite true.

[@kayemckeeth2301]

Last story: your mom is a homophobic/biphobic. As a fellow bi, I've heard it all. Thanks for sticking up for your fiancee!

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 1: so let me get this straight, you think she’d like for you to propose with the ring, her family thinks she would like it, she likes crystal jewelry, and she doesn’t like clunky jewelry? But your friends think it’s a bad idea because it’s not expensive enough? I’m going NTA. It sounds like the gf doesn’t care about a ring, but more the symbolism of the relationship. Also, idk how OP proposing with it would “erase” the meaning of it bing a gift from her grandmother who has passed. I think the friends are being ridiculous.

[@tamsel814]

Cause an object can only have one sentimental meaning, @sarcasm.

[@samssams666]

Okay is everyone forgetting the fact that she lost the ring and proposing to her with the ring might be sentimental however in this situation it is not okay because she felt anxiety and cried over losing that ring that she got from her dead grandmother! If my boyfriend proposed to me with a ring that I lost that belonged to my dead grandmother I would not talk to him for I don't know how long because that doesn't sit right with me

[@coolkid33000]

@@samssams666 Clearly this man is akin to a murderer, an absolute despicable human being for thinking of a nice way to present a missing sentimental ring in a way that show his love for her, spitting on her grandmothers grave. Clearly he's a thief trying to emotionally manipulate her into entrapment for the rest of her natural life, the scum of the earth, irredeemable.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

@@coolkid33000 That's not what people are saying. It just feels really off to propose to her with her own ring. Especially one that has such a sentimental value to her. It would be just as romantic for him to just give her the ring she lost and then say something like "oh, i also found this" or something like that and then propose with a separate ring. It's good that she liked it, but it could come off as something really trashy. Like, he was using it to just save money and use the excuse that she should love getting that ring because it was already something sentimental for her.

[@emanx222]

@@untitled-gv3qp I mean her family was all for the idea. Don't you think if the idea were half as off as you suggest her family would have reason to literally suggest otherwise? At the end of the day, even if what OP did could be seen as off, people take their opinions on this shit too far. Claiming he's abusive or that the fiance is an idiot Is just plain projection honestly and that's sad, real sad

[@wendyhadley2764]

NTA, the father's other son had a lot of nerve accusing you of manipulating your grandmother when he knows nothing about you or your grandmother. Your grandmother made it clear where she wanted the money to go.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA And damn Op for coming into my house and cutting all these onions.... Dude couldn't be bothered to even visit his dying mother or fulfill his obligations to his kid. He wanted his other family so bad, and now he's got them and nothing else. HE should be given the same amount he's given to help support OP since she was 13...

[@itazuranakisu]

It’s a personal thing based on what the girlfriend feels so this wasn’t really a way for Reddit to decide since he should know the girlfriend better. Some people may not have reacted well to him knowingly keeping something like that from them even with good intentions. This could easily have backfired and obviously isn’t something to do again with someone she (or anyone) loses by finding and keeping it until x day(s).

[@rachaelmorder6762]

Story 1: My husband proposed with my late mother’s wedding ring and it is my absolute favorite. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. But that’s me so I feel it’s NTA but others may feel differently.

[@Guitarbarella]

Yeah but that was her actual wedding ring not a gift from your late mum.

[@rachaelmorder6762]

@@Guitarbarella like I said in my opinion NTA but others may feel differently. Others would probably want separate sentiment... others would enjoy the double sentiment. Doesn’t mean either is wrong.

[@Guitarbarella]

@@rachaelmorder6762 agree there, she sounded pretty practical frankly and he knows her best, getting her a wedding ring to match it like she told him sounded good as yeah some women don’t wear a-lot of rings anyway. I had partner offer to buy a ring for a present once and i said oh no thanks, i got too many anyway. Like when you have your favs you don’t really change them.

[@CleopatraDK]

How he also could have handled the ring situation: "Honey! I found you ring" Days later: "Honey, I found you ANOTHER ring!"

[@fcold9402]

3. NTA. I am always confused by people fear someone won't show up to their wedding. If they are rude to you or your SO why would you want them at the wedding?

[@soulechelon2643]

Story 1: of course NTA and I'm glad things went well. The redditors were right in cautioning OP about this decision, because it could have *easily* backfired. Thankfully it seems she was practically 100% on board with everything OP planned, so that's great. However, the pissants who DMed him saying awful things are just jealous he's in a loving relationship while they're stuck in their parent's basement trolling on the internet.

[@soulechelon2643]

@A H What are you disagreeing with? I said the redditors were right in cautioning the OP about it, and the GF was 100% on board with the ring being used as an engagement ring as well.

[@ambiguouslyexisting6311]

I love that 1st comment on story one! That’s so cute and a neat way to let her choose a ring she will truly cherish!

[@samssams666]

Did you pay attention to the story at all? Yes I do think the sentiment is sweet, but in this context it is not. She was grieving the loss of a ring that she got from her dead grandmother and what he should have done was say that "hey honey I have some good news I found the ring" not not tell her this and then use that ring to propose to her because that's just very low and disgusting to do when someone has anxiety and a lot of mental problems to where they are at their lowest.

[@ambiguouslyexisting6311]

a little uno reverse:If you listened to the update, she wasn’t upset at all he waited to give it back. Sure she could have been upset but OP took the information he knows by having dated her long enough to propose and did something he thought would mean something to her. We all have different views of what makes us happy, and He wasn’t being malicious and trying to save it to hang it over her head or something. Plus He had the presence of mind to question the decision and find a better solution when presented with a difference of view from others. If I were the girlfriend in that position, the amount of effort he spent to find it and then to surprise me would mean the world. Knowing the person I care about put so much effort into finding something I thought I would never see again? That would mean far more to me than the ring. And that’s coming from someone who wears a ring from my deceased grandmother every day. Have a lovely day random grumpy stranger on the internet!

[@brandyphillips129]

Making a big brunch for family following a difficult loss to COVID. Thank so much, Mark for giving me something to listen to while I cook the saddest pancakes of my life.

[@MarkNarrations]

Oh Brandy, I'm sorry to hear that my friend. Sending you and your family love

[@brandyphillips129]

@@MarkNarrations thanks so much! My uncle who passed was the caregiver for my uncle with autism. He is having the hardest time with this. I just keep the food coming out of the kitchen bc that's all I can think to do. There are no words to make it better rn.

[@pansprayers]

Ellie's sexual identity isn't OP's mother's business, until and when Ellie tells her it is. This is the rule of thumb for 99% of life. It's none of your business until someone tells you it is.

[@kasugaifox8571]

Also you never out someone. Sometimes it's very dangerous just to by yourself.

[@hiigguys7395]

I had this neighbor growing up. He was an absolute asshole, but as a child, I didn't really notice because I just hang out with his children (of which he named all three after himself despite two of them being girls). He isolated his wife, abused her financially as she was an immigrant with no resources or family connections and expected her to raise all the children even though one wasn't hers. He just came home one day from a business trip with a baby in arms. He even burned down their house when the kids and wife where out of town to collect insurance money. This was never proven and he never admitted it, but it was super suspicious the only rooms not touched by the fire were his rooms. Yes, even the children's rooms burned down. Anyway, his very wealthy dad was actually a decent person and tried to help out his DIL when he could. Guess who inherited multiple houses from him when he passed. It sure as hell wasn't his son.

[@jadedflames2809]

Also, the second story about the grandma being a guardian angel made me tear up, not gonna lie. Dad deserves to kick rocks and pound sand

[@animelover4448]

Please know how wonderful you are Mark

[@elissaroses2824]

Edited to add other stories Story 1 - I think Op should talk to her before hand honestly. It can be used as an engagement ring but talk to her about using it as an engagement ring and if she says no then no! Communication can fix this all. And if Op wishes to keep this a secret then do what that one comment said " propose then ask if she wants to get a new one" Also non traditional wedding rings are becoming more and more popular I don't see the issue with the friends. Also those friends pushing Op to find it and propose with it then doing a complete 180 on their opinion strikes me as odd. That may just be me. Story 2 - Grandma was smart by leaving only one dollar. Op should not feel bad they are worth the house and the money. As said in the comments in the video Grandma wanted Op to have it. If she didn't she wouldn't have given Op anything. Story 3 - Ops mom needs to step back and see how bad their mom really is. Like Mark said she showed her true colors now that she has a "lesbian" in her life. Op need to do what is best for them and their fiancé. I feel for Op, it is truly a heartbreaking experience to hear such hate coming from your own mom. Its even worse when its directed twords the person you love. Being someone who grew up hearing that hate I know how it feels and my heart truly goes out to them. They will have to figure out the best way to handle this situation and it probably won't be a happy ending.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

For story 2, the moment "daddy dearest" demanded her inheritance so he could pay off his debts and "send his son to college", I would have lost my shit and told him "Any chance I would have given a single dollar, is now gone. It IS being used to send your child to college. ME. Just because you forgot I was your kid too, doesn't mean I'm less deserving!". I mean, how did "daddy dearest" think a line like that was going to land?! Did he think OP would just be so grateful that he chose to yell at her after all that time of ignoring her, that she would fall to her knees in joy and grant him anything he demanded?!

[@elissaroses2824]

@@Original_Tenshi_Chan this this THIS. I do not understand how some people can be so dense sometimes and so idiotic to think that its even appropriate to do these kinds of things

[@madisonl3401]

Notification squad! Never click so fast on videos as I do when a new Mark Narrations Reddit story comes up! 🍻

[@candicemonique5927]

Just give her Grandma's ring, but then surprise her with her own ring. Win, win. Good luck. ❤❤❤

[@DocKrazy]

Story two: the "father" was counting on the money. I see. That's the true motive. Need I say more?

[@qkazoo8806]

Hello Mark! Always nice to hear your voice! First story NAH. You can always have a “backup ring” in the end, but the love OP has for their girlfriend is highly apparent. This is a very sweet, if a dangerous gesture, so best find another route before you go on. You don’t need an expensive ring or even something particularly shiny, you just want to let her know you care.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

1st Story: NAH. That was one of the cutest things I have heard from this subreddit in a long time ❤️❤️❤️ Also, f all those people that tried to ruin this sweet gesture and OP's relationship as a whole

[@TNTMAN360]

I've been practicing guitar for 8 hours and I feel like I'm just going to pass out I needed a good waffle

[@jerriewyatt905]

The first story was sweet..I’m glad OP’s GF loved to use the ring as an engagement ring.. Story 2.. Don’t give the sorry excuse of a human being a penny! Grandma did exactly what she wanted to do.. OP and his mother were more caring than her own son, who couldn’t be bothered to come back to see her before she died.. # 3 OP’s not an AH.. mom is however! She’s definitely homophobic as well! Go NC if she can’t accept your SO…

[@JUMALATION1]

Story 3: I am a woman now engaged to a man and I am bisexual. There have been a few "slip-ups" where I kind of accidentally revealed that I'm bi to my mom and grandma. My mom was disgruntled but silently accepted it, but my grandma pretty much said "BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE NORMAL?!". The major one was after having a small pride flag up near my window during pride month and them commenting on it and asking why I had it. I started with saying that I support the community, but after some prodding from them they individually arrived at the point-blank question of my supposed heterosexuality :D I think my grandma is so old that she already forgot the convo though.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Grandmother... What ever gave you the I was normal?

[@cheskydivision]

If mom doesn’t support the marriage, go NC but expect mom to show up as soon as grandkids start popping out. Then stay no.

[@stephenlundy5082]

Story 3: It seems to me there are only two questions that are important. 1) Does OP accept his Fiancee's sexual history? This is a question that everyone needs to ask regardless of their sexuality. If you can't accept that your partner has a past, then you shouldn't be marrying them. 2) Now I'm sort of assuming that OP expecting a monogamous relationship. Does the fiancee have those same expectations? The expectation that they will be each other's only partner for the rest of their lives? To many people believe that bisexuality equates to meaning that someday the bisexual partner will need a "free pass" to have sex with a partner of the opposite gender from their partner. As for OP now... well the cat is out of the bag. Now he knows just how homophobic the whole family is. BTW. Funny there were no comments about the loud mouth friend who spilled this in front of Mom. As for OP upcoming wedding... I hear destination weddings are a neat thing. And you don't have to invite anyone along. - NTA

[@danadelorey3203]

Story 1: I’m happy to know that it worked out in the end but before that it was reminding me a bit of that one episode of Extreme Cheapskates where the woman hides her families belongings and then gifts them for Christmas.

[@Mewse1203]

Mark's Chuckle after "fuck him" was so cute lol. It's so wholesome

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark.. Stay safe please. PEACE

[@telinhajp]

Hi Mark! It's Saturday morning here in Tokyo, so wishing you a super fun weekend! ❤️

[@buildtherobots]

I think the "I found this ring, we should get another ring together" is my favorite solution. That way she gets the treasured item back and if she puts a lot of value on having a separate ring for the engagement she knows OP is already fine doing that for her. I'm so glad she loved it and said yes.

[@dizzysdoings]

Glad to get the update for the first story. I heard it, but not the update.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

The gf sounds amazing! You are a lucky man OP and she is even more lucky to have you, i wish you two a happy marriage.

[@stilettosnthaghetto6997]

Sorry 2 Grandmas goodbye note was everything

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: NTA - In fact, it sounds like your GF will LOVE it! Kudos to you for knowing her better than your buddies, and sticking to your guns.

[@Charles-sd7xu]

MARK U NEED TO STOP DOING ALL THESE STORIES WITH ADORABLE AND HAPPY ENDINGS MY HEART CANT HANDLE IT THE FIRST STORY IS SO FREAKING CUTE

[@Lauramahon1987]

Binging on Marks videos while I work all hours on my animation assignments. Thanks for keeping me company 😂

[@pansprayers]

Mark, nominal amounts vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction (from $1 to a small percentage), just to make sure that it's pretty fireproof. It can vary, but grandma did the absolute best thing she could here.

[@paulinaenck5797]

For the first story, I think her family would have a better idea of what she’d be into than his friends. If her friends were the one saying not to do it, he should listen, but if her family, who also have a strong emotional connection to the late grandmother, are all super enthusiastic about the idea, and he should be good to go.

[@reapersgirl6407]

Story one was so heart warming. I can’t say I would personally be happy with that if my own husband did that but I can see the romantic side behind it.

[@jpbaley2016]

Ring story -Wow, the fact that readers would go as far as DMing OP with their hate is monstrous. I’m glad OP was able to wether it, giving GF the ring and proposing and the GF showing just how much better a person she is then the nasty commenters. OP really found a keeper. Last story - OP should respond to his mother and religious haters with “Good, I’m not inviting vermin anyway. Thanks for outing yourself”.

[@sianchild]

Story 3 - I'm just wondering if it's a communication error. It sounds like she was asking "no you're getting married she's not going to be sleeping with women any more?" And could have interpreted the reply as OP saying his soon to be wife would be sleeping around outside of the marriage. It could also be homophobia of course, but it might be worth OP clarifying if his mum is objecting to the idea of her sleeping around and cheating rather than just the thoughts of fancying others.

[@z0mb1egutzz]

Story 1: YBTA if you proposed with it. I understand the gesture but it would be pretty upsetting to me. But im glad for the update! Story 2: NTA. Your grandma did it on purpose so he doesnt get her money. Story 3: NTA.

[@animelytical8354]

The family were looking for the ring fully aware that OP would use it to propose. They love the idea. Of using it to propose...and then go ring shopping with her maybe? It's a risky move for sure. I would consider doing it, but I'd be wanting to get something else as well. Since she's not too materialistic, he just needs to find something she would love to wear. Definitely NTA inherently. Especially since her family is fully aware. He had the insight of them. The gamble would be likely to pay off, because they know her. Worst case scenario, she'd be a little annoyed. She'd be convinced pretty quickly.

[@riceracm]

5:05 *What a GREAT engagement idea!!* 💍 🤩 💍

[@selbarton]

1. The question is would he be an a-hole by claiming the ring is his to give her that is already hers. He's prolonging her suffering to not put any effort into getting her an engagement ring. He is more worried about being seen as cheap and ignoring he is making her heartbreak and guilt over her ring to assume possession of it. The disregard of her feelings is a warning she needs to consider. He didn't care to make the effort to find it until he decided to make it his to give. "You know how I sat here to let you cry over the missing ring? After Christmas, I decided to find it and hide it until I chose to propose because making it mine while watching you cry was important to me." He got lucky she thinks being left to suffer for weeks is romantic instead of the emotional abuse it was. 2. Not hard to understand he replaced his familybwith a new one. His mother chose to support her granddaughter instead of the son who didn't care about her. None of it was his. The apology is manipulation. He's lucky the will didn't just contain a note that said he didn't get even a cent for his neglect and abandonment. He didn't see them as worth anything, so return the favor by leaving him as out as he made them. 3. Her orientation is only her business. It is not OP's place to say a word or the "friends". Welcome to the "bisexuality isn't real" bs. He is mad mom overstepped, but he was the one having a drunken party with friends at mom's that he chose to confirm what was not his to confirm. He overstepped just as badly. His girlfriend needs to see how he made her orientation a topic of discussion. He only thinks mom was less homophobic because it didn't impact him personally. Now he is losing gifts and getting hate toward him so it's seen differently than the same mindset toward others.

[@jacquiethebibliophil]

For some reason the first story reminded me of when William asked Kate to marry him using Princess Diana's engagement ring. A radio show I listened to on the way to work asked people to call in with their opinion: creepy or sweet? After all, it was the ring of a woman who will be known to history as someone who was cheated on and had a miserable marriage. My take on it was cheap. They have all that money and he didn't buy her a new ring that came with no baggage. BTW: years from now OP will be posting about how demanding his wife is because she really *does* hold him to the foolish promise he made to make/keep her happy.

[@tamsel814]

Story 1: nta, I think it's an amazing idea. If she accepts it only increases the sentimental meaning of the ring. If she refuses the still gets a ring she considered to be lost. She wins either way.

[@kathrynkelly9955]

This ring is going to have more memories really great beautiful memories

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 1: nta the fact she cries over losing the ring tells me she'd love to have it as a wedding ring. i've seen many guys hand make their gfs rings and a lot are amazing. the thing is, the ring is just an object. you put in the work to find that ring. use it as a wedding ring.

[@sadraccoonboy]

Dude why that first story almost make me cry 😭

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

Story #1: He's not a butt for thinking of using the ring cause it's super sentimental to her. I personally would love it. However he can give her grandma's ring when he proposed and ask her to help find an engagement ring she loves. That gives her the chance to use grandma's ring or get a new ring as she pleases. ETA: Awwweeee!!! She did what I would in her position!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@kathrynkelly9955]

Oh geez if she wants a diamond or whatever you can get that too but this rain is something special.

[@Empress58]

Story 1: What on earth is wrong with the redditors going to the DMs to bully OPs? They just like to kick ppl while they are vulnerable. Their behavior is appalling.

[@oliviaksiag6163]

In the story about the bi fiance, I would just call off the wedding and elope, clearly neither of them have much family to invite, and any friends would probably understand.

[@cpaul9269]

story 2- NTA and don't you DARE give him a dime!!!!!!

[@badateverything5392]

The only YTA fro story one is making her wait for the proposal for the ring (I'd just remember the extra days of sadness).

[@markiusgalfordii9248]

In my family it's kind of tradition to use your grandmother's ring as an engagement ring unless you have more kids and grandparents LOL but a lot of times especially back in the olden times that's what they did they couldn't afford a ring so they just passed it down. It's not disrespectful especially if she loves the ring and she doesn't even care about Ring. My friends did the best idea I have ever had or they had they ended up getting tattoos of rings on their fingers this way they will not lose their wedding rings unless they lose their finger LOL it's a standing joke between all of us because his father did lose his ring finger LOL

[@riceracm]

12:32 _”He was banking on this money to send HIS SON to college”_ *What about HIS OTHER child (OP)??* OP should have replied, “Thanks! I _should_ use that money to go to college….great idea!”

[@KayBX]

Story one: I wouldn’t. It already has meaning. Take it to the jewellery store and get a matching one to fit with it. I also love the comment by Sad throwaway I’m glad all was well

[@juliamiller2299]

Story 1: I would use it as an engagement ring, but as a placeholder, and once she accepted the proposal, I would go out with her to a jewellery store to pick out her choice of ring.

[@rain_makes_videos5656]

I loved the ring story, if my bf did that I would violently sob of joy and do the same thing. I absolutely love such a sweet story like that

[@groofromtheup5719]

s1; Why are so many people obsessed with engagement rings and their price? I know of several successful marriages that didn't begin with ANY engagement ring. I gave my wife of 20 years a ring of my great-grandmothers that I just found as a kid years after she had died.

[@socialpsychologymantras]

These stories truly show how selfish people really can be. I've been through this crap before and these women will act like her husband or boyfriend is supposed to forget everything and go back to the way things were and she gets angry when he no longer wants her

[@cynicalminion]

having heard the original post but not the update, my opinion sits precisely at "there is nothing wrong whatsoever with using her grandmother's ring to propose with, and then going together to pick out an actual "engagement ring" if the gf decides she wants one... i have never understood why anyone would think that a proposal would make that ring "THE ENGAGEMENT RING". i certainly HOPE not, especially if the one doing the proposing gets the size wrong, or gets a ring that their now-fiance just didn't like... i would think that you'd ADD the emotion from the proposal to the other memories the ring symbolizes, and THEN figure out whether you want a more traditional "engagement ring" that you and your partner could go pick out together... am i really the only one who thinks this is a no-brainer??

[@kayq3231]

I remember hearing about the first story a while ago and thought it was a sweet idea but that he should still offer to get a different ring. I'm glad everything turned out as well as it did. Shame on the people who were calling him abusive and his gf stupid.

[@HackiePuffs]

Story 2: ABSOLUTELY NTA!!! Your father got just 1 little dollar for a reason. He was a selfish person who betrayed his family. And the fact that he’s trying to gang up his new family on you to try and guilt you to give him money that didn’t go to him is what’s manipulative here.

[@ThePinkBinks]

Wait…. I’ve been reminding people what NIMBY means on Reddit for a while now (especially on LGBTQ threads). Did I accidentally kick-restart an old phrase? Looks like other people have started using it again.

[@WhiteTorn]

I think the guy in the first story is really nice and he got a good mindset, but I guess it just depends on people. If it was me, I'd go with YTA simply because it's weird how you take what was mine and used it to propose to me...by giving me what is originally mine. But in any case, I'm happy OP took so much effort finding the ring and the girl got her ring back.

[@sephaya1563]

story 1. I would love it. I am not big with jewellery and don't like having or weraing one. So having one ring with my grandmothers memento and my love of my partner together wpuld be nice

[@bellarose-au]

Story #3: I have just one question. What the actual f#ck does mother (or anyone else in the family for that matter) need to know your partner's sexuality for? That's the partner's private business, nobody else has any right or reason to know. In situations where I'm asked for personal information not relevant to the parsing asking, I like to use "3 good reasons". "If you can give me 3 good reasons what business it is of yours, I'll think about answering you". Very rarely can anyone come up with 3 reasons, much less what I would call 3 GOOD reasons. Good being the operative and subjective word.

[@greenteawithhoneyandcream7173]

Story 1: if I was the girlfriend I'd be like did you have it and not tell me?! Why didn't you tell me when you tell me when you first found it?!?! Marriage would be the last thing on my mind tbh

[@twentyfiveyears5010]

First story: Dude, take all the money you had earmarked for an engagement ring, keep saving, and buy her the greatest 1st, 5th, or 10th anniversary ring ever.

[@Swnsasy]

The second story hurt my soul.. The father got exactly what he deserved period! He cared nothing for him as his son nor his own mother! He better not give his dead beat father anything at all.. He got the dollar that he deserved..

[@BitterSimplicity]

I keep one of my father's rings on a necklace, I wear it every single day. If I was in this situation, I think I'd be a little upset if I lost in and my partner kept it from me for a proposal. And I'm not sure I would fully be comfortable using it as an engagement ring; my memories of my father are personal, and in the past, whereas an engagement ring should represent a future. But that's me, not her. I don't know her or OP, and since this seems like a very healthy, happy relationship, I feel like he knows his partner well enough that his instincts are worth trusting. This isn't really an asshole situation, except for the friends that gave him crap for it rather than being supportive and respectfully voicing their concerns. I'm glad it worked out for them.

[@brandyb2931]

I think proposing with her grandmothers ring that she thought was lost is a wonderful and heartfelt idea. The entire family, who knows her better than anybody, pitched in and helped find this ring because they thought this was a wonderful plan. My husband proposed to me with no ring while he was folding the laundry. He was so nervous and told me how much he loved me and how he had waited 6 years for us to be able to give this relationship a shot. It didn't matter that he didn't have a ring. We celebrated 17 years last Saturday. The ring doesn't mean your love means more. He proposed to his baby's mom, who he got pregnant the 3rd time they hooked up because he figured it was the right thing to do, she pawned it not even a month later. Its the feeling and the love that is meaningful, not the jewlery. And in the end his knew his girl better than a bunch of materialistic reddit strangers.

[@Andrea.S.Alvey12]

I haven't gotten to the update on the first post yet, but I'm hoping he choses to get her an engagement ring in the metal of her choice, and has the diamond switched out with a high quality amethyst. I know that is something I'd cherish, only for me it's rubies or deep blue sapphires. Yes, I'm a sappy romantic.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@justasmalltowngirllivingin8453]

I love the ring story. He found a very important ring and I love that idea. If it was a bad idea then her family would of said something. I think 7ts such great story behind the ring. The ring symbolizes how far this guy will go for this woman. The friends are the AH, for putt pi no doubt in his head. Just because you want a fancy engagement ring dosnt mean everyone does.

[@ebonyfrisina958]

Hey Mark! Hope you're waffling on well 🧇❤

[@tweetymonkey]

We got a pound sand and kick rocks!!! Ding ding ding

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1 It would be 50-50 on whether or not 0P gets a good reaction or bad reaction. All the people saying that opiate would be a cheapskate for not buying her a real ring, maybe girlfriend would want her grandma‘s ring as an engagement/wedding ring because I’ll be like her grandma is going on the journey of her being married with her in spirit. ATU: Really people slid into OP’s DM’s to call him abusive and his girlfriend stupid? WTF?

[@kitmcneil2115]

Mark always seems to upload right as I'm looking for something to listen to!!!

[@lizfritz6546]

Story 1 prior to any comments: she could think he stole it so he could surprise her and use it as an engagement ring.

[@ScarabD]

Story 3: Jesus h Christ the STUPIDITY of some older generations ASTOUNDS me sometimes.

[@elissaroses2824]

Thanks!

[@MarkNarrations]

3 months late but thank you SO much Elissa!