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My Husband Prioritizes His Family Over His Wife | Paul Friedman

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The Marriage Foundation

The Marriage Foundation

Күн бұрын

There are some cultures where it is usual for a husband to not leave his family for his wife but bring his wife into his family. In some cultures, the wife literally moves in. I'm assuming that that's not the case for you but even in those situations, even when there is a little bit of rivalry between the husband's mother and the wife. It always boils down to the same thing. Now I'm also going to tell you at this point that you should subscribe to this channel and learn a lot about marriage because that's really what's going on here. We don't learn about marriage. We don't learn about how to please our husbands. Husbands don't learn how to please their Wives and so there's a very high divorce rate in the western world, and there would be a really high one in the eastern world if it were less frowned upon. But this particular issue is one that you can do something about. You see when a husband gets married, he has a subconscious expectation which is not unrealistic, I might add, that his wife will give him something that he only can get from a woman which is unconditional love.
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Пікірлер: 117
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын
Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by: 1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing. 2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways 3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions. Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.
@kishageorge7788
@kishageorge7788 Жыл бұрын
I agree
@brokegirl1452
@brokegirl1452 3 жыл бұрын
When you cleave to your mother your not ready for a wife:God in the bible
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын
The spouse who makes herself or himself the most attractive love in their partner's eyes is truly blesses and so is their spouse.
@ciarabowman5304
@ciarabowman5304 2 жыл бұрын
@@kristabistaify EXTREMELY creepy
@BethLove333
@BethLove333 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheMarriageFoundation but you don't have the power to change other people especially a lifelong umhealthy dynamic. The man is supposed to cleave from them, if that doesn't happen the wife cannot do anything to change that. The wife is then abusing herself by staying, or trying to control and change them which isn't right either.
@FromThe3021
@FromThe3021 Жыл бұрын
@@BethLove333 - Most men ask for the woman’s hand in marriage which makes it the woman’s burden to know who she’s marrying before she says ‘yes’. Amongst all the social hierarchies I’ve had exposure to, in every country, Mr.Friedman’s advice is correct. I’m sorry if you’re going through something yourself and genuinely wish you the best.
@illustrationzoflyfe
@illustrationzoflyfe Жыл бұрын
same goes for the wife as well, you can't prioritize your mother over your husband!!
@TheMoonkelly
@TheMoonkelly 2 ай бұрын
No sir. If a man decides to get married, his wife is the priority not his mother. That’s what the Bible says.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 ай бұрын
If everyone only worked on themselves instead of their spouse's flaws there would be a lot more harmony. "remove the log from your own eye"
@bogsespelekpek6542
@bogsespelekpek6542 2 жыл бұрын
This does not work with evil mother in law, no matter how much love you give they will Demonize what ever you say or do
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
What the goal should be is peace within yourself. Nobody has any control over another so we do our best to achieve harmony but that is often a losing battle. Peace within, on the other hand is all on us.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
we must always love, but sometimes we must love from a distance.
@rickycampbell9105
@rickycampbell9105 2 жыл бұрын
Fact
@lisabasumutary3114
@lisabasumutary3114 2 жыл бұрын
Right
@MalinaBellk
@MalinaBellk 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheMarriageFoundation wow! The best advise I ever heard
@n.m6249
@n.m6249 2 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I think its better that I remain single. That' way I'm responsible for my own happiness
@shristikarki775
@shristikarki775 Жыл бұрын
Yea me too
@suunnitellav6414
@suunnitellav6414 Жыл бұрын
Me 3. That’s the best way
@adameve2789
@adameve2789 Жыл бұрын
Me too ahh
@Memaganna
@Memaganna Жыл бұрын
exactly..:)
@marsdilar8516
@marsdilar8516 Жыл бұрын
Same here :(
@KK-by1ms
@KK-by1ms 2 жыл бұрын
Unconditional love can be given yes but not if it’s abuse so your advice is not entirely correct Infact it’s root cause of toxic behaviour
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
My advice is entirely correct but the ego says it can't be so because the ego is tainted by the biological drive to survive. Rise above your instincts!
@shansamra8933
@shansamra8933 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheMarriageFoundation kind reply ❤️
@theresamay9481
@theresamay9481 2 жыл бұрын
This may work beautifully in some situations, but we all know there are individuals who, no matter how much true love you show them, do not respond or change, accept or respect you. There should be a disclaimer in this video about narcissistic personalities.
@madeinhisimage3447
@madeinhisimage3447 Жыл бұрын
@@theresamay9481 and Toxic Enmeshment, thank you for saying this. He's coming from the stand point that all parties involved are not dysfunctional and potentially very toxic.
@winnieamar9368
@winnieamar9368 Жыл бұрын
​@@theresamay9481totally agree! And people who have not experienced such a narcissistic relationship,don't know what it's like dealing with a demon from hell.
@vijetasharma6758
@vijetasharma6758 2 жыл бұрын
My husband doesn't share nothing about his family nothing means nothing...it may be small things or big matter or serious issues nothing..I always feel like an outsider and feel alone...he and my full in laws family hide everything to me..my husband says this is not for your concern so be out of this...what should I do
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
The meaning of his keeping you in the dark may be that he is protecting you so don't ask anymore and just focus on making your husband very happy that he married you,
@vijetasharma6758
@vijetasharma6758 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheMarriageFoundation thank for your kind reply
@blessyourheart1167
@blessyourheart1167 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheMarriageFoundation you people are CRAZY!!! Loving someone and appreciating someone is NOT keeping them in the dark . Two grown adults in a loving relationship should be able to talk through any problems together with love and understanding. Not keeping a WOMAN in the dark . FYI just because someone speaks soft and slow …. Doesn’t mean they have all the answers. Do critical thinking if someone makes you feel less than or they make you feel like crap . It’s NOT ok … just because he’s the man and he’s going to keep you in the dark . This is some dark age advise !!!
@Beauty-and-the-Dia-betes
@Beauty-and-the-Dia-betes 2 жыл бұрын
@@blessyourheart1167 thank you for this!!! I guess deception is what this channel endorses wholeheartedly. That’s spousal abuse, no woman should ever have to tolerate this load of bs.
@blessyourheart1167
@blessyourheart1167 2 жыл бұрын
@@Beauty-and-the-Dia-betes I totally agree. I really tried to stay political correct and it was extremely difficult. I actually did just about everything this man said to do many years ago ….. I was in a horrible situation ( verbally and mentally abusive) since I was a very young lady. Unfortunately both of my parents died 2 years apart ( cancer and heart disease ) I had no one I could rely on or look to for HELP. I had 2 children ( now adults ) I had to consider and put before my own needs. I wouldn’t change a sacrifice I made. However I got my FREEDOM in 2019 ( my health still suffers to this very day and always will the damage is unfortunately permanent) Although I live a incredible HAPPY LIFE !! Even with my health issues. Freedom and peace of mind is PRICELESS 🙏💜 I’ve probably over shared . I just don’t want anyone Man or Woman to be abused/silenced like they don’t matter ….? They don’t have any rights/opinions/desires/needs or wants. This crap 💩 they are filling women’s head’s with is crazy and dangerous 🛑. I truly fear for the women/men already in these bad situations. I still look over my shoulder . I don’t live fear free …. I live aware of my surroundings and free FREE ….😁 I am self sufficient ( hell I always was that, he just took all the house hold income ) But coming out of a truly abusive situation to hear someone say “ it’s ok …. Let them say or do whatever basically because they are the man . A woman has her place and it it to never question the man “ WTF SERIOUSLY 😳 I wish someone would have spoken with me honestly the way I tried to on this little comment board . Thank you 🙏 for reaching out and responding . I am extremely touched and grateful!! I hope just 1 woman will read this and hear ( hear) what I’m trying to say and get real help . I think my entire sentence was 30 years . But …. I’m free now !! For the rest of my life I’m free !! 💜💜💜 HAPPY as well GOD Is GOOD💜
@Sreeshta93
@Sreeshta93 3 жыл бұрын
Husband only love his family more than me nd my son. Y ?he always stand with his family.. never he stand my side and my needs. He always treat my parents very badly.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын
You can become a wife to him that he never imagined, then he will come to you like a hummingbird comes to nectar.
@mona9096
@mona9096 Жыл бұрын
My husband too he loves his bhabi and her daughter more than my son and me . Spends everything on them and his parents and force my parents to send him money to take care of me
@MrPathorock
@MrPathorock Жыл бұрын
why man cannot change first?
@111mood
@111mood 3 ай бұрын
You’re taking the men’s side
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 ай бұрын
There are no "sides" in a marriage, just different points of view
@stephanielagares4817
@stephanielagares4817 Жыл бұрын
This video probably just saved me from a lot of pointless conversations and stress with my husband. I now understand my husband better, and what I need to do for him. Thank you 😊
@molmok6608
@molmok6608 2 жыл бұрын
We have to ask ourselves why such questions come from females only? we have to answer that. I never heard men complaining his wife prioritize her family over him.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
It happens ALL the time. marriage is about love, not conditions in our lives.
@rahmafiakhatib3328
@rahmafiakhatib3328 Жыл бұрын
Because we barely do that to our husbands.
@thinkcat01
@thinkcat01 Жыл бұрын
Mol Mok Men don't have to complain because his wife is living with his parents.
@drleo6409
@drleo6409 11 ай бұрын
My wife prioritizes her families wishes over mine .
@DreamAwayLullaby
@DreamAwayLullaby Ай бұрын
Because a wife understands her kids and husband come first
@payalmalik7838
@payalmalik7838 3 жыл бұрын
What should I do it's been 7 years his family doesn't like me at all when I does something nice for them they always says we never ask you do it for us I did my best to please them and now I have 2 babies they are literally mentally torturing me at some point I am not financially capable to give best life for my babies my family always says try to adjust I try my best to adjust but now it's effecting my health I have been not mentally and physically feeling well I am tired to listen adjust what should I do
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын
Your priority must be pleasing your husband. He should be the recipient of your love and kindness and all that he craves from you and you need to learn to love him with all your heart.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
It is easy but useless to hold a grudge for one or an entire gender. It is wise to work on opening our heart so we can embrace all regardless of their faults.
@madinashaibu6221
@madinashaibu6221 Жыл бұрын
@@TheMarriageFoundation please what if he is replacing you with another woman
@niecyh2313
@niecyh2313 Жыл бұрын
@@madinashaibu6221 Then let it go. It’s not worth it
@betsysarah3124
@betsysarah3124 2 жыл бұрын
This is literally what my dad do with my mom... Thank you for the video btw😀
@ziggypip2938
@ziggypip2938 3 жыл бұрын
Wow. This is a different kind of advice! Thx
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful! 🙏
@aditiray2184
@aditiray2184 3 жыл бұрын
I appreciate what you say. Never heard something like this before. Let me please thank you with all my heart.
@evolutionarytorevolutionar7312
@evolutionarytorevolutionar7312 2 жыл бұрын
Girl yes. This is so beautiful. I wish I knew this before I got Married.
@AlexMform
@AlexMform Жыл бұрын
Thank you and many blessings to all ❤
@JohnCarrFitness
@JohnCarrFitness 2 жыл бұрын
Isn’t that just your assumption that she isn’t prioritizing him? How do you know that without hearing his perspective? I don’t understand how that can be an absolute truth. Because in some cultures like Filipino they do prioritize the family over the spouse. Also, you don’t even know what “my husband prioritized my spouse” means to her. What if he really is but she just has a false perspective of what that really means. Maybe she’s overly needy. Maybe not… I just don’t understand how you can come to that conclusion so quickly. Maybe it’s better to say.. in most cases you’ve seen…. She isn’t prioritizing her husband. Just my opinion and curiosity regarding this video.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
As an individual spouse it is always on us, man or woman, to prioritize our soulmate to the enth degree..to create love and happiness.
@sarahs7253
@sarahs7253 2 жыл бұрын
Is this common for the Mexican culture? My husbands brother moved in and my husband is more concerned about his brother than me.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
The guidelines I present are universal but that is not to say that some cultures create more complexities in their application.
@locagringabvc1365
@locagringabvc1365 2 жыл бұрын
Girl I know how you feel I’ve been married to my Mexican husband for 15 years his family comes around asking for money all the time and it’s causes problems and arguments for sure
@spanishmontana6121
@spanishmontana6121 2 жыл бұрын
Is he still in the house ? Why did you accept a grown ass man in the house to start with ?
@sarahs7253
@sarahs7253 2 жыл бұрын
@@spanishmontana6121 it was my hisbands decision. i thought it was temporary. He ended up moving out and he moved away but is now living on his van in our driveway. I feel like he wants us to feel bad for him amd tell him to move in but our house is small amd full. We have 3 bedroom amd 4 children at home amd im pregnant with twins. Besides its not easy to feed all my children and two grown men. He even wanted to take our leftovers for lunch. Sometimes i feel like...am i jist a bad person? Ots not that i dont wanna help anyone but i honestly dont think he needs help..he just doesnt wanna pay for rent and utilities.
@spanishmontana6121
@spanishmontana6121 2 жыл бұрын
@@sarahs7253 How old is he ? Tell him to get the fuck out of the drive way ....i don't care if you're Mexican, African or Dominican thats just not acceptable.....He is an opportunistic guy let him go and sell drugs if he has too
@ElRoi68
@ElRoi68 2 жыл бұрын
What about a spouse choosing 1 of our adult children over our marriage. He considers her everything to him a wife is except sex
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
Each of us chooses whom to love based on what is presented. Be more appealing to your husband than your daughter and he will respond positively.
@mehgsz
@mehgsz 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheMarriageFoundation this is truly disturbing advice.
@salala7640
@salala7640 2 жыл бұрын
Disgusting advise! I will not finish watching this video because of it!
@miriammuturi6595
@miriammuturi6595 2 жыл бұрын
Nonsense advice
@Beauty-and-the-Dia-betes
@Beauty-and-the-Dia-betes 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheMarriageFoundation new to watching your videos, they were recommended. This advice is probably the worst I’ve ever heard. It doesn’t work in American culture at all. In my own situation I spent tons of time trying to get to know my husband’s mother and sisters. Once they all started lying about me it was game over. That includes my husband’s constant lying to anyone who would listen. Same for my daughter, he put her first over me because I’m an “outsider” in my own family. Makes no difference anyway as he has to prove HIMSELF to ME, not the reverse.
@RhondaMcAllister
@RhondaMcAllister 2 жыл бұрын
Great advice! We have three kids of our own and he has two kids from the old relationship. Anything I say about his kids doing bad. Like skipping school, stealing, failing their classes. He says I don’t know what I’m talking about. Im crazy and delusional, they are teenagers not angels
@faith_9677
@faith_9677 26 күн бұрын
There are always co ditions and they are called boundaries. Further, each person has needs and each nerd to het sonethongs they want and need. Relationship means relating and in relationship to each the other. Liberation means self sufficiency.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 26 күн бұрын
Your definitions are like something one might read in a magazine, not what one needs to improve their marriage or their happiness, I'm afraid. Life and marriage can be lived in joy and love when one knows how. Joy and love are the missions that make the most sense and you will never see those goals articulated in magazine articles. themarriagefoundation.org/reviews/
@jacquelinharris1008
@jacquelinharris1008 2 жыл бұрын
I agree with you 💯 👍.
@618DiarrheaSquirrels
@618DiarrheaSquirrels 6 ай бұрын
So what am I suppose to do when i was once close friends with my mother in law, we buy a house right down the road from her - and before we are even fully moved in she stops talking to me. Out of the blue, refuses to tell me why, just goes from very close friends to brick wall....?? What choices do i have?
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 6 ай бұрын
Kindness and loving behavior is to be your default, not expectations. Then your happiness will not be conditioned by outer conditions.
@shansamra8933
@shansamra8933 2 жыл бұрын
Love uuuu sirrr u change my thoughts exactly ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@lashanimalik4219
@lashanimalik4219 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you ❤️
@SarahsarahOseghale-cj2ig
@SarahsarahOseghale-cj2ig Жыл бұрын
Thank you sir
@tiffanyvalencia8415
@tiffanyvalencia8415 2 жыл бұрын
4:25 unconditional love
@TruthSeeker9038
@TruthSeeker9038 4 ай бұрын
So what if my wife puts her family before me?
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 4 ай бұрын
I did a video on that, I am pretty sure. Look it up in the search.
@shansamra8933
@shansamra8933 2 жыл бұрын
Sir, I had 4 months of marriage and by doing some jokes from my in law sister's I also rply in just kidding ways but she takes it seriouse and by that time in my there's is very much fitting 😭I also says sorry to her but...now I saw she hates me and all by this my husband also making space between us I don't understand what to do
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
Learn to love him unconditionally and be there 100%
@chiquitabee11
@chiquitabee11 Жыл бұрын
I’m thankful to have found you. Thank you for your time, wisdom and messages of love n how to in marriages. Love n appreciate your information. Wish many others would listen n learn from you. God bless. 🙏🐝
@KaylaJ8827
@KaylaJ8827 2 жыл бұрын
Help! My husbands 18 yr old is moving in with me and husband. He has ADHD and keeps quitting jobs so his mom is driving him from California to Oregon and dropping him off at our doorstep basically. I gave ptsd and stress affects me terribly, I don’t want him here, place is small and privacy ruined. What if he never leaves, he’s afraid of life too. He told me he would have to move out with him if I didn’t take him cuz he has no where else to go. So what do I do?
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын
I don't use this forum to help individual problems. Use this link to get personal guidance. themarriagefoundation.org/free-marriage-help/
@tonyaharris1460
@tonyaharris1460 10 ай бұрын
U got have peace of mind
@nattydreadlocks6173
@nattydreadlocks6173 2 күн бұрын
This is not biblical teaching… the Bible says to leave and cleave…
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 күн бұрын
Yes, it does.
@user-og6vc9jl7u
@user-og6vc9jl7u 3 ай бұрын
What happens when they will not hand the baton over to the wife?
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 ай бұрын
There is no baton. He is your husband and when you are his queen in all ways he will come to you like bees to honey
@rosmawatiramli
@rosmawatiramli Ай бұрын
Wifes n husbands has no obligation to prioritise inlaws. Most asian cultures the husband makesnwife compulsory to obey is motherinlaw. Its wrong. Let reverse nnget the husband do the things that wife inlaw ask. Am sure he be discussted n tired.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation Ай бұрын
It doesn't matter the culture. You can have a great marriage when you know how. themarriagefoundation.org/reviews/
@RenuFamily2024
@RenuFamily2024 3 жыл бұрын
Great
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you! 🙏
@brendadias7285
@brendadias7285 3 ай бұрын
These videos are useless for some .
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 ай бұрын
and life and marriage savers for most.
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