My Husband REFUSES to Parent Our Child The Way We Agreed To r/Relationships

[@emilybarclay8831]

Unless you’ve just walked in from a 12 hour ER shift, putting your child to bed once in a while is the most basic requirement of the job you chose to take on. Of course the baby isn’t sleeping, he can’t follow basic instructions and he seems like he’s a stranger from his child if he doesn’t even know how to put them to bed

[@Dira7411]

Exactly smmfh

[@pansprayers]

Call it a 36 hour shift, and I'll agree. There are female nurses like my husband's cousin who not only did 12 hour ER shifts, she rotated into trauma surg on 24 hour shifts. Still put her kids to bed when she worked day shift (0600 - 1800) and was there to wake them up/put them to bed after her 24 hour shifts (0600 - 0600), every other day, and called them on the commute on the second day, and recorded a good night message to play for them when she couldn't be there physically.

[@ferbobjr4569]

@@pansprayers I worked 4 back to back 12 hour night shifts in the hospital and came back to my child sorted them out for nursery, took them and then got home and showered slept for a few hours then got up ready picked them up sorted them rest of day, settled them into evening routine and back to work… single parents can because they HAVE too, but if you aren’t alone why should you do it alone both parents should be working together to care for THEIR baby

[@Dira7411]

I can’t stand these men that think they are in control, because they make the money… he should be giving her a break every so often it’s not that damn hard…

[@DD-jr3mq]

Yup. Besides they have their typical work day surrounded by colleagues, professional challenges and they aren't home 24/7. Stay at home mothers, on the other hand are home alone all day, don't communicate with adults as much and aren't stimulated mentally. It's draining and often depressing and they deserve a break

[@Dira7411]

@@DD-jr3mq I’m a SAHM and it definitely gets draining

[@noraneko1465]

Story 1: Yeah nooo a father should be able to take care of his own child and put him to bed ect. My husband can take care of our baby just fine on his own cause you know he is not a useless man-child like OP’s husband.

[@crystalmorgan8039]

But he did it perfectly once OP called him out on it. Dude was capable, but just didn't want to do it

[@t.matthies3049]

Even if he'd tried everything and the baby still couldn't sleep, he shouldn't have called her unless he had reason to think there was something wrong with the baby. Babies take a while to settle down sometimes-that's life. Even if I were babysitting, I wouldn't call the parents unless I thought the kid might be sick.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

So frustrating! She should confront him with the knowledge. He should be ashamed of himself.

[@pearbear6418]

Story 1: NTA. Yeah, the husband sounds like he was attempting to pull the "I'll pretend to be incompetent, so OP will have to come do it" strategy. He's a douche for trying to ruin OP's night. Story 2: YTA. 5 seconds in and I already decided this person sucks. The sister's gift sounded lovely and OP is a jerk.

[@carriemooney7215]

That strategy is called "weaponized incompetence"

[@fandomfan2800]

nah 2 is NTA

[@annegrey6447]

2nd story: Handmade painting of hubby & late (DEAD) father. That is so sweet. How can OP be so materialistic not to see how thoughtful that is?

[@fandomfan2800]

cos shes right lol

[@maxsupernova]

Story 2: What a horrible person! I mean, I would be so flattered if my partner painted me. It would take hours, and it's hardly half-assed. Plus, it's unique. OP, you are such a massive AH.

[@lifewithlee6298]

Didn’t say anything, just laughing 😂… than said it was half ass 😅🤪🤨

[@damien678]

As an artist myself, I'd be genuinely tempted to spit on someone if they did that to me

[@untitled-gv3qp]

I don't think she knows what half-a$$ed means. The painting took time and effort. Just buying something is the laziest way to give a gift.

[@spottledmutt]

God I would feel so hurt. Currently the main gifts I can give my bf is art but he’s always super appreciative of it. (Not able to send him money or order gifts long distance) I can’t believe op.

[@fandomfan2800]

@@spottledmutt cry me a river

[@TheOneAndOnlyFen]

My ex (recent but still friends) gave me a drawing last Christmas. He put a lot of thought into it and worked really hard on it. Out of all the gifts he gave me over 7 years, it was the best gift I ever got from him. His brother gave him a hard time about it and I probably would have punched him out if he dared laugh when my ex gave it to me.

[@KlaudiaShaefferr]

The last story, she ran to her daddy to cry! If the roles were reversed, and a hubby had ran to his mommy, he would had been bashed in the comments for being immature

[@tgbedini]

Although OP handled it poorly, he was at his limit. "you need to communicate." He DID, multiple times. He then offered several solutions, but she won't reduce her order, won't order something he likes, won't eat leftovers, it's ridiculous. He offered solutions, she told him to F-off. She didn't offer alternatives, because, apparently wasting food and money are her hobbies. added; yes, can you imagine the reaction if the genders were reversed? If the man acted this way, and his parent screamed at his wife?

[@fandomfan2800]

lol

[@mimi-yt7gq]

She needs to get out now! I went through this for 25 years BIGGEST MISTAKE I ever made. GET OUT NOW!

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

That second story.... personalized gifts are awesome! I paint and have given my mil and partner some of my work.... they exclaim over them still! Mil even took pics and showed it off to her co workers lol I'm by no means super talented but they loved it! I also make crocheted baby blankets and throws for loved ones. I've never been told I was being cheap!, most are aware of the time and expense that goes into every project.

[@hetrob0060]

Also the first anniversary is traditionally called the paper anniversary so a painting kinda fits.

[@markedwards3647]

Hand crafted art is EXPENSIVE and time-consuming. If a talented artist/craftsman devotes time, money, and talent to a gift, that is MUCH more valuable than some artificially inflated name brand gift. For instance: A custom fabricated bag of premium materials might be slightly less expensive than a "Louis", but it will be much more durable, and will look exactly as you specify. And a portrait? hundreds to hundreds of thousands, depending on artist's reputation. OP is a Piece of G.

[@damien678]

yeah, like even if you're a novic it's still a labour of love and very valuable, but the fact OP admits she's good at it? that's such an insult, I wouldn't want to give someone the dirt under my shoes if they said that to me

[@marckye1]

Story 5: OP should say that from now on, each one pays for what they ordered.

[@SH-qs7ee]

This, or not go out to dinner with her to anything more fancy than McDonalds.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

It wouldn't bother me if she ate the leftovers. But she's just so wasteful and picky. What did she do before they got together? I would consider the buffet idea that one commenter suggested, but getting a ton of stuff and leaving a mountain of unfinished food is still so rude. I think your idea is the only real solution. She'll still be wasting food but it'll be on her dime.

[@kristinicole2055]

That would make the most sense here

[@kyleb1958]

Solves nothing if they share finances

[@jraxreviewsxcosplayxmore6934]

Art is a better gift than a mass produced cruddy gift. I’m an artist it takes forever for paintings to come out good. What a little witch

[@GIChiyo]

He is too tired to put the baby to bed, but not too tired to constantly call you over and over again to dodge responsibility? Wow what a child

[@franl155]

There's a whole lot of bs talked about "real names" - celebrities who have changed their names to ones that we all know are still regularly outed with "their real name is …" A person's "real name" is whatever they say their name is [so long as it's not done with intent to deceive or defraud]. I've used the "real weight" argument as well There's a difference between being given a name and choosing one's own name. We don't get any choice about what name we're given, but the name we choose for ourselves is meaningful to us. It will take some time for people to adjust to the new name: habit will have to be overcome, but so long as one honestly tries ... but writing a dead name on the place setting isn't "forgetful", it's malicious. ps: this just occurred to me: on birth certificates there used to be a column for "father's occupation" - I don't know if there still is. But that means that that's your father's "real job" - he can never change careers, or even get promoted and have a new job title. After all, that wouldn't be his "real job".

[@rorimorgant.williams6647]

In the last story, I think that the ultimate solution would be to make OP’s wife pay for everything that she orders. I think that once she realizes how much she is wasting in food and money maybe the situation will improve.

[@aluralovell6829]

Can't really say it will, my mom is more or less the same way, only difference is she pays for the fold in the first place, still super annoying to watch her waste food but I've met a few people who for whatever reason just don't eat leftovers and I still don't understand why.

[@295Phoenix]

Story 1: NTA Incompetent husbands need to be told that they can either step up or get divorced and start paying child support.

[@sarahclapp505]

Painting YES YOU ARE AHOLE a painting of her brother in law and. His late father ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@k70freeman]

1 i say NTA because she kept asking Op - why are you laughing?. 2 It is called a opiopion.

[@maxsupernova]

@@k70freeman And your opinion can make you an asshole. What’s your point?

[@elizabethcox5911]

Sorry, but wasting food is a HUGE crime in my book. As a senior citizen on a limited income and someone who grew up without a lot of things, anyone who wastes food and refuses to eat leftovers is acting like a child and should be treated like one. He tried to talk to her and was ignored. She should pay for her own and surely there are friends or family that would appreciate the leftovers if she thinks she is too good to eat them.

[@gl8172]

I always thought the whole leftovers avoidance thing was just childhood brattiness that people outgrew, until I met a few people who are like this. It's like finding out someone still picks their nose and eats it, or talks with their mouth full. Making her pay for her food does seem like the best course of action here. Might not curb her fickle tastes, but at least maybe she'll learn some moderation when it's her own wallet she's hurting.

[@TsukiKageTora]

It’s even worse since the trash cans would most likely be in the kitchen where the cooks are. Every time she orders food she takes one bite out of is now wasted _in front of those who cooked it for her_ and that’s unforgivable.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@gl8172 my mom avoids leftovers (she brings them home but rarely eats them) because of a traumatic experience when she was in her 20s of making food for her dad out of left overs and he ended up getting food poisoning (she didn’t know if it was the food she made or not, but she associated it with that and refused to eat left overs) So I kind of think your comment thinking “it’s only a child’s thing” is kind of insulting. Especially the booger eating comparison. Now, the wife is being a bratty child but what she does doesn’t mean anyone who does it is also a bratty child

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: NTA, but he lied to you twice in an attempt to manipulate and control you: once when he said he'd followed the routine and didn't, then again once he'd followed the routine and said baby still wasn't sleeping, when baby was, in fact, asleep. I know everyone always jumps to "divorce him," but one of my pet peeves is broken trust. A healthy marriage needs trust to survive, and he has broken it. And then there's the little gem of not helping out with the baby and dumping it all on your plate... S2: YTA and shallow to boot. S3: NTA, she ruined her own wedding by creating unnecessary drama (and was warned ahead of time). S4: YTA, you're letting your child manipulate you. You're the parent, act like it. S5: ESH. Your wife for wasting food and "refusing to eat leftovers." There are people that literally can not afford food! You for treating her like a child and trying to control her (although I understand your frustration). What you SHOULD do, is separate your finances and make your wife either cook her own food when you eat at home, or pay for her own meals. But she is an adult, and able to make her own, irresponsible decisions.

[@juliettemora4156]

What she doesn't like leftovers? Who doesn't love leftovers anyway nta she is wasting a lot of food on his dime not hers. Op needs to have a serious discussion with her.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

some foods are terrible reheated like i wouldnt eat left over italian then again i order one meal and eat all of it throughout the day so idk what is wrong witht eh wife.

[@vixievonlyn]

Painting supplies cost so much like wtf that's a expensive gift

[@Dani.J.]

I have 2 nephews who are both very good at art and every year for my birthday I beg them to draw me something instead of buying me something. I LOVE gifts like this. Sister is an A-hole. Having the means to drop a large sum of cash on a gift does not automatically equal love and care.

[@sassbrat]

Story 2: YTA. That gift was from the heart and just because Op like to splurge on gifts this doesn't mean her sister does. That gift came fro the heart and not the store.

[@Vipre-]

Story 2: Dropping cash on something doesn't even qualify as half-assing, anyone can do it.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Love how no one mentions how wife runs off to go tattle on OP to daddy on the last post. From ordering food she won’t eat to ignoring OP when he told her off for her bad habit, she’s been displaying some childish behavior so maybe it’s best that she ordered off the kid’s menu.

[@Idyll_Candy]

I can’t wait for updates to these stories! They all need one.

[@thatlycantomboy]

second story: …how. did someone write this entire post and not realize they were the AH? like “I laughed because she spent a lot of time and effort on a gift that was also a tribute to his late father. you know. because those things are for poor people”

[@suehirsch6545]

Re painted gift: OP is the AH- Full stop. Right now, we have many gifts, INCLUDING PAINTED ONES that hang in my parents' home. THEY are all that we have LEFT of the artists that created them. My late aunt painted a few. My late maternal grandmother made a few jewelry pieces. My late paternal grandma knitted a blanket for each of my nuclear family members and another for each room of the house. Hopefully you won't have to lose a loved one to realize that when they give you something into which they put time and energy and thought it could eventually become a beloved keepsake in their absence. OP, I truly pity you your lack of self awareness and inability to empathize. I am also embarrassed for you, and sorry that your friend probably won't be eager to share many more precious moments with you. That stuff is personal and people like you tend to do things to steal, sully and detract from the fun and the love.

[@lucere3674]

People completely underestimate artist that put a lot of thought behind their work. Shit, even I did until I ran into the The Drawing Database KZbin channel and they have a live drawing of a piece of cloth and it's multiple videos that's roughly 13 hours long. It blows my mind with the realization that people spend days, weeks months and possibly years working on a piece of art that I would have previously assumed took a fraction of the time to make.

[@SakuraMoonflower]

I've got a work I've been working on for nigh four years now. It's almost finished..... ... Almost. @_@;

[@damien678]

And it took us years upon years to get that good, too. A genuinely ungodly amount of time.

[@locusxe1411]

Story 4 YTA- so because you can’t calm down your daughter, you instead call your ex to help her go to sleep when he obviously has something planned. I don’t blame the girlfriend for calling you like that. She wanted to spend time with her boyfriend but instead he had to cancel their vacation for this mundane thing. If your child was in a hospital then yeah he should cancel the vacation but that’s not the case.

[@MissJordanna1]

Did you not listen to the story correctly, the daughter wanted her father and she did try herself but again the daughter wanted her father. OP asked and he could've said no but he didn't. No matter what his daughter comes first even before his girlfriend

[@kristinicole2055]

Do you have kids? Little kids barely comprehend why mommy and daddy are not around 100% of the time.

[@kristinicole2055]

@@MissJordanna1 all of that.

[@fandomfan2800]

shut up

[@Ravenishish]

In regards to the commenter on the Connor story who said he doesn't get transitioning but accepts it's a thing to respect. That's the right attitude, you don't need to understand to respect something.

[@marckye1]

If some relative deadnamed my son like that, I would REALLY ruin the wedding and not just leave.

[@NuggetNapper]

Same. She better hope I don't have red wine handy

[@emileeweir7773]

Story 2: YTA. I do art as gifts. I always do a little cat drawing on card envelopes for one of my friends - she LOVES cats. I made a poster of another friend as a Super Mario Bros. character for his birthday gift - he's a huge gamer and loves the franchise. I also did a drawing of one of my bosses when she came back from maternity leave - I drew her holding her newborn twin boys and did a pun of the employment program as a caption. If you know someone well enough to do an art piece with something they care about (like my friends' passions or my boss' excitement for motherhood), then art pieces can be great sentimental gifts.

[@michellemartinov6267]

Although my daughter isn’t a “serious” artist, I consider her a great artist and I’d LOVE if she’d do anything for me. I’m so happy that in the new house they just bought she has her own studio for her art!

[@Mr.andMrs.Smith_0420]

Food story- NTA. She should be paying for her own food if she's going to be wasting so much, that's ridiculous, and what's wrong with leftovers? If she doesn't want to be treated like a child then she shouldn't act like one, grow tf up already 🙄

[@kennethsjvold9212]

Story 2 wtf is wrong with OP, fantastic gift , i would loved to get a gift like that

[@honeypot8524]

Story 1: NTA the husband wanted to ruin OP's night and is acting like he's completely incompetent, HOW PATHETIC!! he's a clown

[@jessilyngray1223]

The painting story...I cross stitch and I give them as gifts all the time. I had (had bring the word there) that told me cross stitch isn't a gift. Nevermind that the last one I made her took me about a month because it was big and every indepth. She ended up putting it in a yard sale a few weeks later and when I saw it I know that she was no friend.

[@jjr9792]

Story 1 - Forget the baby, ESH for using their cellphones in a movie theater

[@A_Little_Bit_Of_Everything06]

I do crafting and drawing and painting as a hobby and I don't know how many Christmas' my parents/relatives/friends have gotten something handmade, recently I got into making dragons out of clay and everyone loves them, who would look at a handpainted/handmade a gift and say itw half assed? Story 2 is definitely ta!

[@heatherdickau5335]

The last story. Solution- don't go out to eat. Let her cook her own food.

[@gl8172]

I have relatives like OP in the second story. If you don't buy them something with (enough) money, then obviously you don't actually love them, because time and thoughtfulness mean nothing compared to a physical price tag. Materialism at its finest.

[@angeldark404]

Yeah, no. Painting is a skill honed over years, and people don't realize the cost in time and effort. If I charged 15 bucks an hour pet item, I'd be making 60 dollar knit hats and 200 dollar pencil sketches, depending on how much time and effort I put into the sketch.

[@willSugar]

that first story is wild. the father was obviously not even bothering to try and be a parent because he is too tired from work. I would have chewed that idiot out so hard for his fake incompetence.

[@axepagode33626]

A family nickname is nowhere close to being the same as a new name for transitioning. The concept of deadnaming does not apply to nicknames. Anthony is not going to lose his crap if you call him Tony.

[@divinebitter1638]

The point was someone who won't switch when someone asks to be called a different variation on their given name is an asshole. It literally costs negligible effort to make the switch. Thus deadnaming someone becomes assholery to the 10th power.

[@somerandoonyt9553]

Story 4. Why do I have the feeling OP would not be doing the same if the father called her and asked of the same.

[@caxtillo9876]

Honestly for the last story, they should just split the bill. If she's going to be wasting food, might as well it come out of her pocket.

[@your_local_questerian]

i find the daughter on story 4 relatable. even if i'm upset, even if i'm a legal adult, i still want my mom with me all the time, so i know what it's like to want a specific parent.

[@DisneyChar]

S5 ETA, I would make sure all that food rots in the fridge for longer than it should.

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1 NTA like how can you be this on competent and not take care of your own child Opie can still have a social life.

[@kristinewatson3702]

Wow. OP insulted a thoughtful work of art memorializing her BILs father?! OP'S attitude is so materialistic and beyond rude.

[@zachf748]

*_Story #1_* - That’s not a healthy marriage. Your husband does not respect you at all. He’s actively manipulating you with weaponized incompetence. You have to call him on this, because you both know exactly what he’s doing. If you call him on it and he still lies to your face and pretends he doesn’t know what to do, you have to decide if you can be in a relationship with someone that respects you _that little._

[@wmdkitty]

1: ESH. Hubby sucks for deliberate incompetence. OP sucks for using a phone in a theater, and for demanding the bedtime routine be exact. And they both suck for not realizing a baby can, in fact, deal with a little change to routine. Jeez. OP sounds super controlling. 2: YTA. OP laughed at a gift that clearly took a lot of time and that the person put a lot of love and effort into.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

The first op doesn't sound controlling they sound like actually care about their kid. Only thing the op the op is a slight asshole for is the phone in the movie theater thing everything else just sounds like bad justifications from the mouth of the husband. Op is nta.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

I more got the feeling that the OP was giving detailed instructions to ensure husband was SUCCESSFUL in putting the baby to bed and not because she wanted to control things. Anyway it was hubby constantly calling making a big fuss that baby wasn’t sleeping so it wasn’t like she kept ringing him to make sure he was doing things her way. I feel like you are projecting perhaps - sure a baby can deal with a change as long as YOU are willing to manage the transition and not expect someone else to fix it plus the fact he he had the lights on so it sounds more like deliberate sabotage.

[@damien678]

Painting someone something isn't 'halfassing' a gift at all, _especially when you're a good artist._ I'm so mad at this honestly, our skills take an ungodly amount of time to practise, traditional painting is hard and paints can cost a lot of money, AND even when we're good it can still take hours upon hours to complete a work.

[@Cassandra765]

Last story: I always find it funny when situations like this are labeled as "communication issues" because, like, OP DID communicate with his wife. He told her that this was something that bothered him, and she ignored him and did it anyway. That doesn't seem like a communication problem. That seems like a lack-of-respect problem. And while I don't necessarily agree with the way OP handled it (I think either splitting the check or not going out to eat would solve this problem), I can understand his frustration. As for him not treating her like a child, I mean, she did just run and tattle on him to her daddy so...🤷‍♀ ESH.

[@stephaniehowells6364]

Paintings/drawings are some of the best gifts I've ever received! What's wrong with the op?o.0

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

She ruined her own wedding! Good for you for standing up for your son. My son is also Trans. I had issues with people having th attitude of his "real" name, or name on his birt certificate. Well, he was 14, As his parents, my husband and I legally changed his name to his chosen male name. We also had his birth certificate reissued with his legal name. So, now when anyone tries that I let them know his legal name and his birth certificate name. II thought we would have to wait till he was 18 to change his name, but as soon as I found out that as his parents, we can do it we did immediately.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

Honestly, if your wedding is ruined by some people leaving early (regardless the reason), it was a crap wedding to begin with.

[@235omg]

Did I catch that in story 4 that they are only separated? I'm not surprised that she called him to come take care of their child

[@shadowkissed2370]

Story 3- I agree with the commenter that said "at that age, it really is as simple as letting the kid control their own appearance, and calling them by the name they want to be called." I am not transgendered but I went through so much abuse under my first name that during middle school I started to go by my middle name. My family HATED this. When my aunt got custody of me if she heard anyone call me by my middle name she would berate me and beat me telling me that the name I am allowing them to call me is NOT my name. When I met and married my ex-husband I had been scared to use my middle name because of being beaten and abused for using it so he met and married me under my first name. He ended up beating and abusing me. When I left him and filed for divorce I decided to start going by my middle name again because I was a new person. HE HATED IT. He told me that was not my name and I had no right to use it, to this day he still uses my first name to address me and demands that our children use my first name. The kicker of this all is he goes by his middle name and has since he was a child...

[@ferbobjr4569]

Weaponised incompetence. Husband should know already how his son likes to go bed, you both had a baby, he needs to be involved it’s not optional. You are both parents

[@taurus3alexis]

Story 4, yta. You are definitely using your child to control what your EX husband does

[@wheelsndealz]

Honestly I'm kinda surprised reddit didn't go in on the guy for being spineless. I think if it were the gf writing if she was the asshole for getting mad at her bf/his ex everyone would have said how she has a bf problem. He needs to stand up to the ex. The ex may be emotionally manipulating him. Etc.

[@magicmiya7545]

I don’t understand why he’s buying her meals and if she is paying, what’s the problem?

[@charliekezza]

If I was told only to get off the kids menu, no matter what is said, I would think it's cause they think I'm fat 😭

[@brandi5126]

S1:NTA. You husband is being a jerk. It's important you go out with friends and have a few nights out. He needs to grow up and take care of his child.

[@jennthurston364]

The last story why not go to buffet's???? Lots of variety.

[@CanonSkyrissian]

story 2: massive YTA. just because OP is a materialistic loser doesn't mean everyone is.

[@olkid5595]

Story 1: correcting you. He didn't have 2 days. He had 7 months.

[@tetraganii]

Hey Markee, they demonetized Karma Comment Chameleon's channel. Could you say something about it in your next video to bring attention to it and try to get him monetized again like we did for Lost Genre? I really like KCCs content and I would like to get him monetized like he and all non-bot reddit KZbinrs deserve to be.

[@ArthropodJay]

ive beeb binging the boys so i have a lot of videos to catch up on markee

[@guntgunderson2829]

The last story: if the OP’s wife is going to act like a child then she will be treated like a child. I hate when adults are likened to children, but sometimes they actually DO act that way. If I was pulling that kind a crap my wife would probably call me a child (as she and other women tend to do toward men generally from my observations)

[@stareagle5000]

Correction he didn’t have 2 days he had 7 months

[@wrgirlie86]

I got soft and squishy at the comment about the couple done up as their favorite anime character

[@BankruptMonkey]

Picking a new nickname for yourself or getting rid of a childhood nickname at some point in life is a standard thing many/most Americans do, so if this was in the US saying that you aren't used to people changing their names isn't even a good pretend excuse for why you purposefully tried to hurt a kid's feelings.

[@damien678]

A good portrait painting would cost you a lot of money too, though. Like... A LOT.

[@divinebitter1638]

The last scenario would drive me insane, but it has an easy fix. Do *not* go out to eat together anymore. Dining out is not mandatory. No one is having a good time doing it. They are incompatible on this issue, and OP is trying to change a core personality trait, not a small quirk. If everything else is good in the relationship, this is a hill to leave unclimbed and unclaimed in the future.

[@margaritap.9459]

People think that the last OP should have found another way to deal with his wife without treating her as a child, but she straight away ran to daddy and daddy took upon himself to defend his little girl, so IDK...

[@jjr9792]

Story 4 - "Eventually, I caved...". WTF!? I was legitimately angry by the end of this story, but fortunately Markee and the commenters did such a good job of addressing why op is an a****** I have only two things to add: 1) I hope for her sake that the BF's new GF dumps him ASAP 2) I expect we'll see OP again, but featured in someone else's r/entitled kid story. And she'll still be an a******.

[@nitemare1004]

at the time i was in college, my roommate had his girlfriend stay over for a bit and on his birthday, one of the gifts that she gave him was a hand drawn picture of game character that he really liked (he still has it). it was really good. ngl was a bit jeoulous XD that OP was an ASS, "omg you're so poor that you can't' 'buy' him an expensive gift" get bent! it's the thought that counts, and it's one of kind!

[@stargazerkawaii]

If I'm with a partner that doesn't eat all their food at restaurants and doesn't eat leftovers? Sign me up free leftovers for me tomorrow!!!

[@comajuice]

Yeah but itd suck if it's all food you don't like:(

[@stargazerkawaii]

@@comajuice I'm very lucky to have only a few rare things I won't eat, that said that would suck.

[@comajuice]

@@stargazerkawaii haha fair enough

[@trish7048]

Story 3: If I ever have a kid, I'm going to give them a unisex name so this garbage can't happen no matter what their gender is. Alex can be either, for example. Or Sam. Or anything like that. If they still wanna change their name that's fine, but they'll be able to keep their name if they want and it'll prevent this stupid dead naming. If you can't tell, my vote for OP is NTA.

[@gl8172]

I like this idea. Bypasses the whole "pick two names just in case" thing so many parents do, too. Baby boy turned out to be a girl or vice-versa? Name still works.

[@trish7048]

@@gl8172 EXACTLY! 😁

[@damien678]

A lot of trans people still prefer to change their name even when they have a gender-neutral name, just fyi. Still a great consideration, though.

[@trish7048]

@@damien678 oh yeah and that's fine, just thought it would be easier to have the unisex name

[@mortikarobinette5381]

In the first story I'd say NTA for the circumstances. But.... why is his bedtime routine so specific? I mean even room temperature? Seems mom is setting herself up for all sorts of problems.

[@srwater1]

Story 2. I don't understand why people think there standard of gifts are same as everyone else. Or the fact it has to be. My ex-husband like store bought. I like homemade. On holidays. I take my kids to buy a store gift for him. He helps the kids with homemade gifts for me. My now husband. Loves gifts of any kind. Are kids are almost adults now.

[@maxsupernova]

Wedding story: NTA. I wish more trans teens had parents as supportive as OP. Meanwhile, the family is enabling the sister's bigoted behaviour by blaming OP instead of the sister's bigotry. They're reprehensible.

[@potatoempress5731]

Last story: No, OP's NTA. He already tried to communicate and offer compromises with the wife and she waved him off. She needs therapy about possible eating habits. The commenters are always going easy on the wife >_>

[@glitchyglitchy3925]

Story 1: OP's to taking care of a baby alright, just not the one she pushed out of her. Story 2: OP sounds like a miserable old hag. A good gift isn't necessarily the one with the highest price tag. Story 3: Never give in to bigots. I'm sure OP's support is a lifesaver for their kid. Story 4: You're her parent, and your ex won't always be available. That's how it is when you're co-parenting. Even young kids can learn they won't always get what they want. Story 5: Split the bill. Problem solved. If she starts taking from a joint account, you have a much bigger problem than your wife's eating habits. Also, buffets exist.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 1: What a mighty man that could not TAKE CARE OF HIS OWN CHILD! He just lost respect in my eyes. Story 3: Sister: "Nia can be a man any other day!" OP: "And YOU could have been an a$$h@le any other day - But guess which day you have chosen to be the biggest one yet!" The sister made a scene at her own wedding. Story 5: Too many people go hungry every day to enable the condoning if food wastage. It is such a peeve of mine that I have stopped watching some of my favorite shows simply because they use vegetables and animal carcasses as targets. It's such a waste of a valuable commodity.

[@surrealistgirlx]

Final thing for your podcast. Have some silly questions days for comedy. You are so funny. People will be LMAO-ing everywhere Stupid questions What if I have a donkey, and I caught the donkey drinking beer, but the donkey is a robot, and now Animal Control is threatening to pee in my backpack? Why do ghosts ghost me when I try to talk to them? Why is a horse so much stronger than a 1 horse power engine, despite both having the same strength? Weirdest questions you've been asked Have you ever wondered how long it would take a giraffe to throw up? Random dude on a street corner pointed down an alley and asked me "How many bodies do you think would fit in that dumpster?" I looked at the dumpster for a moment and said "Whole or chopped up?" His jaw dropped and I walked away. "What would you do if a bear ate you?" This was the first thing a kid I babysit asked me when I walked in the door. He was also ecstatic to ask it. Weirdest questions you've asked people My friend's icebreaker question for people he has just met: "How would you kill me? What music would you play?" "How much sawdust can you put into a Rice Krispie Treat before people start to notice?" Would you cannibalize someone to survive on a stranded island knowing that there's a 25% chance of rescue/survival if you eat the corpse but a guaranteed death if you don't eat it? You would have a blast doing this.

[@gillianbergh7002]

Birth certificates do not have the baby's birth weight on them, or any medical info other than gender of the child.

[@todddenio3200]

The dad trying to sabotage his wife’s night out like that should be sending up red flags with blinking lights on them. He’s not wanting to be a dad but merely a sperm donor and is expecting her to raise the child herself without him being involved in any way and it’s likely that he is going to walk away from the marriage and fatherhood within a year or 2 because it just isn’t what he wants and will not actually be a dad to the child anyway

[@missindependent5535]

As far as the Connor story goes, good job dad. I would recommend however I'm getting his name changed legally this will give you a better argument. It won't necessarily stop idiots, but it will show support to your son and also possibly stop this obvious hatred towards your son's identity when dealing with naive people and having to show identification. I know this has nothing to do with the wedding but just a thought. Names are important.

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

WHY DOES EVERYONE RUN HOME TO MOMMY AND DADDY?

[@zerobolt9506]

I'm sorry I can't agree with the YTA comments on story 4, there was a similar story where the OP's GF had to tend to her kid & the OP got upset, he was labeled the AH, but this story is the reverse of that & so OP is the AH? Na I don't agree here, the dad CHOSE to stay cause he wanted to make sure his daughter was good, we also don't know how young she is or if she has something like Autism, it makes sense why they treat her the way they do if she does & regardless SHE'S STILL HIS KID, he does NOT stop being a parent, my goodness you guys get all mad if the was the daughter saying her father was never there when she need or wanted him, but when it's shown that a dad IS your getting mad at OP for asking him to be, MAKE UP YOUR MINDS.

[@SleepyHo123]

I usually always make ppl gifts and ppl love custom gifts cuz they seem themselves in it. My hubby prefers a painting from me over everything. Everytime I finish a painting he puts it on the wall. Story 2 yes ur the a-hole

[@gaffawebber]

Nah.....gluttonous wife is entitled af. She's the AH. She's not acting like an adult...she literally is acting like a child. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes (like a perma-kids menu).

[@catherinetiernan5888]

She is jealous

[@msredux]

Oh she called daddy because op made her mad 😏😏😏 I dislike people lime op's wife, order a lot of food and doesn't eat it, and then doesn't even take the left overs, she just love to waste food

[@LizA-me9zp]

Like, if Connor says he's a boy, dresses like a boy, and has a dead name, why would you remotely expect them to dress like a girl???? Sounds like she was looking for drama. I work with kids, if one would ask me to call them Princess Glitter-Sparkles, I'll call them that because it's just a name. Who cares. If they change their name back later, cool. There's not really a reason, aside from being an A-hole, to call someone by a name they don't like.

[@BenKonosky]

Story 4: ESH, both parents need to stop coddling the kid. Ex calls her late nights as well to come put daughter to bed. However she's worse for demanding he cancels his vacation last minute.

[@blackice7023]

Utah big time. I go out and eat, most of the time I divide my meal in half and take the left overs home for the next day. Tell her she needs to take the food home and reheat it for lunch the next day. Its a system that works and there no wasted food. If she won't do it u could wash off the sauce, add ur own sauce reheat and eat it.