My Partner Chose To Let Our Baby Go 10 HOURS WITHOUT FOOD So He Could SLEEP r/Relationships

[@Ospyro3em]

My heart broke when I heard the part where the 8 year own son was trying everything to feed his baby sister, despite not knowing how. There's something seriously sick and wrong with that husband.

[@sopadumacacoumadelicia5]

Same. It made me really sad. Poor kid :c

[@mimi.dixon.b]

It’s such an unfortunate situation,but she’s so lucky to have a big brother looking out for her I’m sure he’ll grow into such an amazingly caring person instead of following in the steps of their pos father

[@MaryTheresa1986]

I nearly cried hearing that story. Bless that little guy for trying his best in such a difficult situation. I'm glad OP saw the light and kicked out her ex.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

These stories happen a lot unfortunately. The worst one's I've heard of involve the older kids feeding younger kids foods they choked on. Those kids have a rough time recovering. I was always sad when a child under 10 could prep a bottle as well as I could when I was doing childcare for a drug recovery program. It shouldn't be their job, but all I could do was reassure them that I can do it too. I'd usually let them teach me one time and then encourage them to play while I took over "their" jobs. The kids will act like overly paranoid new moms who can NOT relax, even for a short time. It ruins their childhood.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

Only good thing I can say is that if I ever want and have kids which I absolutely would make mistakes knowingly and unknowingly at least I can say with absolute certainty that I would never be as bad and useless as that guy.

[@grimlingLennie]

1st story: YES, that poor 8 year old will need therapy(the baby sister too, might need a check up when they're older, just in case), that whole fiasco must have been so traumatizing for him. He must have felt so helpless while the deadbeat locked himself in the the bedroom, then to witness the dad's violent outburst.

[@mimiNana-yi4cy]

Also, the change in the husband's behavior and his violence is an indication that he may be abusing drugs. There was another story, a while back, almost exactly like this where it turned out the husband was using drugs with his friends. OP is lucky to get out and she needs to hug her kids and keep them close. Good luck to her.

[@CandaceDreamer]

I know! I feel like the kid would be blaming himself because he was able to do dad’s job and then he got mad and doesn’t understand why or how it’s not his fault yet. He’s probably confused and thinks mom made dad leave and dad got so mad because of him. Kids sadly will blame themselves for things like divorce, even if it’s just a mutuel agreement and not a scary thing that this turned into.

[@sofie6524]

I was happy that the dad acted out because that means 0 custodial rights but it just got worse and worse to the point where it broke my heart thinking of the poor boy locking himself in his sisters' room scared of what might happen...

[@KE-hr4sb]

Omg S1 left me so angry, both at the husband, and at the people victim-blaming OP from behind a desk. People can change (usually for the worse, sadly) or hide who they are until someone is "stuck." I'm glad she got out, and I hope her poor son gets a lot of hugs.

[@rubymeaddle]

The "you chose to have kids with him" line is an incel talking point

[@gcarr1089]

First story - the 8 year old was more of an adult than the father.

[@kateemma22]

That's a real (little) man right there.

[@bleachparty8570]

Exactly, little dude deserved 5 scoops of ice cream with sprinkles. He did his best and is an amazing big brother.

[@Vallyrah]

Story 1: OP make sure your son knows that your break up is not his fault. Kids are amazing at figuring out how to blame themselves for bad things.

[@mortikarobinette5381]

That was my thought too. I remember thinking when my parents separated when I was 9. Really thought it was my fault somehow.

[@PowerStruggle555]

"sorry if this isnt the happy ending you are all wanting" It kind of is. He showed his true colors. I am wondering if this kind of behavior (the physical stuff) has happened before. Im sorry OP had to go through with the fight (on top of everything else). but no court on earth will give him custudy....maybe supervised visitation as its proven he cant take care of a child alone. OP needs to change the locks and get a restraining order. EX will be lucky to get supervised visits when this all said and done. If op made a report about the neglect with that on top of the the incident when she kicked him out....no court on earth will let him his any custudy

[@WobblesandBean]

I wish more women would recognize that hardcore gamer guys are massive walking red flags. Every time you see an exasperated wife seeking advice about her immature, lazy, irresponsible, temperamental, explosive, and se×ist manchild of a husband, sure enough, they're a gamer. They don't see women as equals, they see us as bangmaids.

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

@@WobblesandBean yep, gaming is like any other serotonin supplier; it's not inherently bad, but ppl _can_ get addicted to it - & once a person is addicted to anything, their personality tends to take a massive, dysfunctional slide very quickly. The fact that society has yet to recognise at large that gaming addiction isn't just a hyperbolic term - it's a _legitimate_ addiction, & addictions destroy lives - is a major contributor to why it is so pervasive, & the addicts' loved ones negatively effected by it so widely dismissed & invalidated.

[@carterpitbull7366]

@@WobblesandBean I agree as a gaming woman myself. Men won’t walk away from a game for a second, meanwhile I’ll disappear for hours and come back and be like “oops lol” like there are more important things than just playing Xbox all day.

[@katphish30]

That was actually the exact happy ending I was hoping for.

[@jamiesheerdon1321]

@@carterpitbull7366 As a gaming guy this very reason is why I gave up gaming. It's not worth losing your kids over especially when I have them 100 percent of the time.

[@darkangel_1978]

After hearing this, I need to give my husband a huge hug and kiss. My husband would never pull a stunt like this. When our son was born, he was up with me every 3 hours. He would change our son, and I would feed him. I wish I could give OP a hug and help her out.

[@HackiePuffs]

You picked a good one I wish you both and your son the best 💙🤍

[@darkangel_1978]

@@HackiePuffs thanks. I wish I had had the help with my first child (my daughter), but my husband was overseas, so I had to go it alone. 2nd pregnancy was easier. But poor OP having to deal with an irresponsible and abusive husband. That's really rough.

[@crichtonbruce4329]

I'm an old bachelor without kids, but for many. many couples I've known the father was overjoyed and insistent about engaging in the physical care of the children. They found ways to share as equally as possible in the chores of childcare. E.g. the mother was breast feeding so the father did the bathing and all the diaper changes when he was home from work. He loved doing so! They were his children! And he loved the intimacy and bonding of these activities! He and his wife would sit together and smuggle while she fed the children. Those children are now adults, but the bonds created are bulletproof and a joy to behold. Unfortunately this is far more rare than it should be, and such stories aren't interesting to Reddit.

[@damien678]

My fiance is a big gamer but I know he'd NEVER put them before a child. We'd both never, ever do that and just accept running on a few hours sleep and chugging iced coffee lol

[@samanthanickson6478]

mine was actually more of a mom than me in the beginning. i’d just had a c-section and was physically weak, couldn’t even hold my son. had to prop him on pillows so he could feed. i felt so useless. my husband at the time, saved me. he had more practice than i did it with newborns; his cousin came to live with his family when she was due. they all banded together (he, his mom and sister) to take care of her kids. i was fortunate to have him there, he knew exactly what to do.

[@Secretadmirerlol]

It was a mistake?! F that! The son was probably calling him for help and banging on the door to help him take care of his sister while he slept. He knew what he was doing when he locked the door. He didn’t want to be bothered. I’m so mad right now. The son is such a sweet boy though for trying. It wasn’t his responsibility and yet he stepped up and did what an eight year old could do to help his sister.

[@KatonNeko]

A mistake is accidentally overheating the formula or putting the baby's diaper on backwards! Not caring for your kids for 10HRS because you needed a fucking nap is... NEGLIGENT!!!

[@MyUniqueBeauty]

Exactly. The only reason people lock their bedroom doors is to keep others out. He was making sure the son didn't come in.

[@katphish30]

I'm so upset thinking about that little kid trying to take care of his baby sister. I'm also upset thinking how that could have gone wrong because he didn't know how.

[@KatonNeko]

@@katphish30 I know right? Kid could have burned himself or accidentally injured the baby!

[@rootyful]

The second story reminds me of a really good explanation I once read: Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes to mean "treating someone like an authority". For some, "if you don't respect me, I won't respect you" means "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person"

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 Update The father showed his true colors. Trashing the apartment and attacking his wife… I hope he gets locked away. Charged with child abuse, child neglect, assault, property damage… either locked away for life or gone for good.

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

Hopefully, unfortunately, DV isn't taken very seriously in the courts....hell child abuse really isn't either. Most likely, he'll get either probation and/or anger management classes. Maybe a few months in county jail. I'm glad she kicked him out. Far too often, ppl stay and are like, "What do I do to make them change? "

[@animefallenangel]

@@ingloriousbetch4302 The unfortunate thing is that the people who want to try and rehabilitate the un-rehabilitable are victims who had been so mentally and emotionally abused that letting go of an abusive partner feels insurmountable. Thankfully, OP's self-esteem and confidence seems intact and was able to do what she needed to do for her kids.

[@Sixdawg06]

The father sounds like a piece of work to say the least. All I’m saying is if through their entire relationship there were no red flags, and this is his only mess up with the kids, op over reacted in my opinion. They’ve been together at least 9 years and one day dude messed up. His wife gets home blows up rightfully; she messed up when she tried to throw him out to go stay with his dad and threatened him with the cops when he didn’t leave. In my opinion that’s where she messed up by escalating things trying to throw him out. She didn’t try to understand anything other than he slept all day and kids weren’t feed. The husband messed up and I’m not discounting the fact that his daughter could’ve died, it reads as op just blew up at the guy then started escalating the situation to get him to leave. If It was his first screw up according to op, why have such a adverse reaction to his negligence rather than trying to figure out why he did what he did. She should’ve called cps or his parent. She threatened this man in her words with the law and then he started destroying things…. That doesn’t add up. Who starts wilding after the cops are called. It doesn’t sound like op told the entire situation in my opinion. It just doesn’t add up. A decent father for 8 years just doesn’t wake up one day and just start being a neglectful threat to his family. Something more has to be going on. Either dude has some mental issues or he’s shown red flags in the past and op downplayed those situations. Dude should be locked up for putting hands on his wife, but again this story doesn’t make sense. People just don’t become a shit person in one day. Men that don’t beat their wives just don’t wake up and think him todays the day. I’m not defending the husband at all, this situation just doesn’t add up from the information present.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "I thought they ate before you went to work" even if they did it's been _10 HOURS_ since then. Lock him in the room and don't give him food for just a _few_ hours, see how he likes it. The amount of rage that I feel from that sentence alone.

[@babysaho9576]

Just imagine that when the 8 year old was struggling to make a meal to feed his sister, he started a fire. The baby trapped in the crib, Daddy locked away in the bedroom and sleeping so hard that he neither heard the baby screaming all day, the 8 year old knocking trying to wake him up or O.P. banging down the door.

[@kateemma22]

I respect OP1 for not just strangling the husband. She has an angel for a son though so she'll be okay as a single mom with her wonderful little man.

[@PowerStruggle555]

"I thought you fed them" Yeah OP probably did feed them...breakfast. kids need more then 1 meal...especially a baby. if cps were told. an 8 year old was taking care of a baby. feeding (or attempting) and not know how to change a diaper all while the father slept....with the door locked for 10 hours......theyd have done at least a wellness check (maybe even worst) OP should do is give her 8 year old a cell phone and tell them. if this ever happens again....call her or a friend/neighbor....though I would never trust him again. yeah Im sure he needed sleep....but the needs of their kids is more important. he knew what he was doing when he locked the door.

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

I have a chronic injury which causes me fatigue, so that most nights I require 12 -14 hours of sleep just to feel remotely functional + be able to see properly - & I would _still_ never leave a young child + an actual baby without supervision. What a terrible, selfish person this man is. 100% with both the story OP & you.

[@addicted2mako]

It’s one thing to sleep through children making noise; in that case the parent would need to find ways to wake up for their kids. But to be the solitary adult in a house with children and intentionally locking yourself in your room to sleep through children screaming is contemptible! That’s why his apologies are so meaningless, and I’m glad OP didn’t buy it and kicked him to the curb

[@sonialinsey8083]

He was probably on dr*gs specifically opiates. My mom was on em when I was a kid and she’d sleep for like 3 days straight. She was crazy angry so it was a good thing as I was 12+ by that point but definitely not normal.

[@PowerStruggle555]

there is another simular story from the AITA reddit page. Only there wasnt a older kid. OP went to grocery story for a couple of hours....came back to find their baby in a dirty diaper...un attended...because the husband was live streaming. OP asked if they were TA because she embarassed him as he was live streaming by marching in as he was doing so...to rip him a new one for leaving their child alone

[@robertx8020]

What an AH But how can you go on groceryshopping for hours? Is the store 200 miles away? Not that this makes his behavior ok..just wondering

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@robertx8020 it's extremely easy to do shopping for 3 people esp with long lines for hrs. Depending on the time of day it can take me up to two hours to grocery shop for a single person due to how busy it is with a list

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

@@robertx8020 so blame the mom trying to take care of her family but not the manchild? Typical male

[@videofan1010]

@@robertx8020 Why is this relevant to the comment or the story?

[@PowerStruggle555]

@@robertx8020 i think there were other errands.. even so....you'd expect husband would take care of baby.

[@dannyells]

People love blaming the woman and saying that it’s her fault he’s abusive and she should have known he would be like that. They sound like someone who ends up like that.

[@backpug1228]

They always try to blame the other parent (!) as well for shitty behaviour that the partner does. Often because the parent let red flags slide and only, if at all, did something when things escalated too far. And some of the commenters may project their own past that was similar onto stories like these.

[@heididietrich9800]

That is EXTREMELY CRUEL to the baby. And to the eight year old. First one here.

[@potato-rp2bf]

That first story broke my heart. That child trying his best to help his sister while that piece of shit ignored them. He went above and beyond for his age, that little guy deserves all the “you did amazing” reassurances, and probably therapy. Those poor kids

[@catandrobbyflores]

Little guy knew he had to feed the baby and tried his best. I can picture him trying to figure out how the formula was supposed to be used but it didn't look right so he tried chips.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Oh that poor kid, 8 and more responsible then the father. Trying feed the baby chips cause she was hungry……. I can’t even.

[@Loupa57]

Poor woman, poor 8 year old (dear soul for trying their best) and poor baby. Good for you girl for putting space between you and him.

[@HighPhoenix1754]

First story is so gross. Not for the OP or her 8 year old, the hubby. Holey Moley. That update escalated WAY too quickly And for those victim blaming OP on the post --- What is wrong with you? Acting as if the husband, as Markee stated, didn't change over time-- or more likely, revealed what was behind the mask. I hope OP does well.

[@meirin5316]

BUT i am so happy that the mum got rid of him and the 8 year old gets reassured. the mum and the 8 year olds will be forever the little ones hero

[@damien678]

People do it all the time in comments and it just reaffirms my belief that people generally hate victims more than their abusers. Unless they were killed.

[@wmdkitty]

Uh, she knowingly left the kids with the lazy SOB. She abandoned the kids, didn't tell Hubby he was on childcare duty, and then got mad when he didn't read her mind, magically wake up, and care for the kids.

[@cynniminnii]

@@wmdkitty Lmao what the fuck? What kind of parent needs to be told they're on childcare duty for their own children? And she clearly didn't abandon the kids, they were with their father. She kicked him out and took care of her children after the final straw. Something's wrong with you if you think only one parent out of a set of 2 is responsible for the children they had together.

[@HighPhoenix1754]

@@wmdkitty "...He stayed up all night playing videogames and promised he'd wake up and stay up for the kids." Interesting how it only takes 10 seconds to fact check before making outlandish comments like that. Have wonderful day. : )

[@steveadams7592]

How are the grandparents "slaving?" What work are they doing while vacation?" Let them leave and offer to drive them to the airport.

[@thanos8077]

Story 2: op wouldn't be "blatantly disrespectful" if they decided to stand up to there grandparents in a different way because they were the ones being beyond disrespectful and ungrateful

[@reeniem6398]

Honestly, how amazing is her 8 year old trying so hard to take care his baby sister even though it wasn’t his job to. He cared more about his little sister than his own dad. Anyone who can blame the OP really does need to have another think. People do change. I hope they are doing okay.

[@kalinaphillips9779]

Story 2. OP, you said you bought the holidays for both families so they can get to know each other. So you DH family now knows your family.

[@silverwatkins50]

Don't leave, document everything, throw his ass out the door, change the locks, call his parents and friends and explain the problem. File For Divorce and a restraining order. Your son tried, so show your son how to fix a bottle, explain that he is great and thank him for helping.

[@tovelokiwifeodindottir9936]

I had an ex that did the same thing. My oldest who was 6yrs at the time tried to help. When I found out I later showed her how to make bottles in case something happened to me and how to dial 911. (I have neurocardiogenic syncopi which causes me to pass out if I'm over stressed) she calmed down ALOT knowing how to do these few things.

[@Vallyrah]

Story 2: By tradition the best rooms go to the grooms elders. Therefore since they have the suite, they can give it to the bride and groom. (sneaky hehe)

[@lillithherondale1972]

Shit there didn't even need to be previous problems in the relationship, if my partner did that to my children I would be gone instantly. Doesn't matter if we had the greatest relationship in the world, you neglect our children, we're gone. I'm going after that man for every cent of child support i can get. That poor 8 year old tried everything they could to help their baby sister. Poor kiddos and momma

[@lillithherondale1972]

Oh my God that update. Mom and those kids were probably terrified.. I'm glad she recorded his rampage to show the police and glad he was arrested. It was really smart of her to tell the kids to lock themselves in a separate room. I'm furious he put his hands on her. Waste of space he is

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: Yep. No custody, hopefully with no visitation rights. F*ck! I wonder if that's just the *only* *time* he was *caught* leaving his children to their own devices! And getting angry and attacking OP when she *RIGHTFULLY* told him to *leave* because he *failed* as a father?! Yeah, that marriage is in shambles. There's no going back from that. 😰 Story two: Beautiful, OP! That killer kindness was *BEAUTIFUL* ! Those grandparents were going to enjoy a vacation and feel pampered for a week, but had to ruin it for themselves because they demanded *more* ! 🤣

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

The fact that he *locked* the bedroom so he wouldn't be disturbed tells us that he knew _exactly_ what he was doing. That's so gross.

[@GlucoseGuy]

I'm honestly curious as the previous 'straws' when OP starts the post with it being the last straw. OP never really painted the picture of previous neglectful behaviour and only pointed out that husband just played video games all night the night before. I'm glad OP got away - I'd just like to know what other red flags were going up and for how long. Like the one comment said, they've had a kid for 8 years, so parenting shouldn't be a new thing for this guy.

[@Callimo]

The "last straw" isn't the only straw. Just the one that finally breaks the whole foundation. I'm sure OP saw some warning signs, but either rationalized them or they didn't show up for a while so they forgot. Humans tend to be a "go along to get along" species. Especially when love and romance are at the wheel.

[@wmdkitty]

She knew he was tired, she knew he was sleeping, and chose to just leave the kids with him instead of being decent and letting him sleep.

[@KittenLynxARI]

@@wmdkitty I hope you're joking. No matter how tired you are, if you have kids, you are responsible of them with your partner. Especially if you are stay at home parent, or have a day off AND, maybe, no else is available at that time. OP should be able to trust her partner to be in charge of kids while she's at work, because that is what a good parent does. My sister once only slept for 45 minutes one night, when her kids where small, and I had to leave to a convention in another town (pre-Covid). Did she go to sleep and leave her children fend for themselves? Of course not. Because that's what a good parent does, no matter how tired they are. Husband isn't a good parent and deserves no slack. If he wanted to sleep, he could have asked someone to come over and watch the kids. Which he didn't even try to do, according to the post.

[@cl5470]

@@wmdkitty boring incel troll

[@champslim]

He tried to feed his little sister chips.... 😭😭😭😭 My heart!

[@joycec8]

LMAO at aholes threatening to leave. I'd be like "yall don't let the door hit you on the way out...." LMAO: Yesss, OP called their bluff XD XD XD Let's go!

[@anwarpine6797]

oh. my. even just the 8 year old being left like that is unforgivable never mind a 6 month old baby..

[@claucristina]

Hearing a baby cry is so distressing. I can imagine that poor boy feeling so helpless but he still tried to help his baby sister with the little knowledge he had. I’m glad OP kicked him out, and I hope her and her family are able to heal.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: they were so accommodating for even allowing family on their honeymoon and her grandparents were acting like temper tantrum probed 2 year olds not getting their way. Glad OP called their bluff and still paid for their flight out when they wanted to stay. Asians have their culture with respect if their elders, but that doesn’t mean elders should abuse that to get what they want when they want it

[@Sunshineonmymind714]

As a mom that just entered into the toddler phase of motherhood, I can confidently say that no one can sleep through the sound of a baby screaming at the top of their lungs…not for long anyway lol. I have a feeling the father is doing drugs.

[@catandrobbyflores]

Ear plugs and sleeping pills is my guess

[@anonymouspuppetboi258]

It’s important that you still have hobbies and interests outside of parenting. But when you choose to have a child, you’re saying “I’m choosing to prioritize this child over me.” I know OP said her husband wasn’t always like this. But this is pathetic on the husbands part. Also that 8 year old kiddo is a champ. He was being a better parent than his father. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad. Hope OP and her kids are ok.

[@alienbearcub]

Story 1: that little boy deserves so much love. She is such a strong mom to have made such a good boy. I would teach the 8 year old how to get ahold of you and at least show him how to feed the baby. I doubt she would ever let a situation like this happen again but it would be more for his own comfort. Knowing you can help your sister probably means a whole lot to him.

[@Khaisz.]

Story 2 before the update: CHALLENGE THE THREAT! They won't leave, Its just a power play trying to make you cave. Story 2 after the update: fuck yeah she called the bluff.

[@klickwitch3612]

Jesus, I cried when I heard the 8 year old tried desperately to feed their baby sister. I can only imagine the frantic feeling that kid had; first trying to get to dad's attention, only to hear his sister cry harder and harder. Then resolve to try feeding her himself only to fail over and over again to make a bottle. Finally out of desperation he tries to give her snacks that he has access to, and still fails to soothe her cries. That poor boy and poor baby. OP made the right call.

[@sanchisan6997]

That poor kid. He's going to be traumatized. How terrifying the whole thing must be for him. All these sudden changes, too. I hope everything works out for them.

[@mariselabarrera432]

This is downright abuse & disgusting. :/ Some people shouldn’t have children.

[@aleksandarbradaric4925]

Story 1: Children are not for some people...Little kid is a champ...Caring for his sister at his age...CHAMP

[@SherriLyle80s]

Wtf?! If I knew who this was, I would be mandated to report him for neglect!

[@pansprayers]

Umm, since there's already a domestic case that has been filed, it HAS been reported. When the police show up, all of this information is taken down. This has already been handled, and turned over to the relevant departments, you wouldn't be required to do anything. But ok.

[@SherriLyle80s]

@@pansprayers no need to be snarky. I did write that at the begining of the video. _but okay_ 🙄

[@kimdoe5889]

That first story made me cry. That poor little man trying so hard to take care of his baby sister. Poor little guys! My heart breaks for everyone in this story. That husband needs to be buried under the jail...

[@TalaPedro]

"What kind of person ignores their kids and is like 'I thought you fed them before work?'" My stepdad, plus the physical abuse of I tried to interrupt his games to tell him we weren't fed

[@alexandriavirkler7583]

"...he tried to feed her potato chips but she couldn't eat them." He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit. In all seriousness, the line "he tried to feed her potato chips, but she couldn't eat them" makes me want to laugh at the poor boy's naivety, cry because the boy was doing the best he could with what little he knew as an 8 year old, and hug him because he was doing far more than his and his sister's sperm donor was at 8 years old. He'll be a good brother.

[@olsonashley4]

All I could think was how that poor boy would be traumatized if his sister choked on the chips he gave her when he was trying to help. Poor kids. Glad OP got them out of that situation.

[@shannonrichardson5129]

How the hell do you have and 8 year old child and STILL not know that they need to be feed more than once a day? How the hell do you have a second baby and STILL not know that they need to be changed more than once a day? How the hell are you a parent for 8 YEARS and still not know that you can’t leave young children unsupervised for an ENTIRE DAY?! This is willful ignorance. He did this on purpose because he didn’t want to take care of the kids.

[@KatonNeko]

Does he think his kids are cacti?!

[@KatonNeko]

Honestly what kind of dad just games all night when he Knows he has children to care for the next day?!

[@itazuranakisu]

A "dad" that expects mom to do everything and then expect children "to be seen but not heard". He eats more than once a day and I can't even fathom him having the gall to think 10 hours between meals is appropriate for children especially a baby.

[@KatonNeko]

@@itazuranakisu disgusting

[@jadev8679]

I went through something similar like story one with my oldest child. My ex would take her out "to the library" and stay for hours claiming that he"fed and changed her 3 times, she pooped twice" but I knew her schedule and started counting diapers in the bag, he would come home and the number of diapers hadn't changed after 8 hours. I have no idea what he was actually doing, but it certainly wasn't what he was saying. That relationship was over before she was a year old.

[@mikehilbert9349]

Story 2: There is a difference between generational respect and generational entitlement. Honestly, never invite your grandparents again. Tell them the royal palace was not available for them, so it was best not to insult them.

[@blondie7740]

The first story is so sad, but I have a very strong feeling he started taking drugs. I hope they all get help and can move towards a better future, especially the little ones.

[@ChristopherCapersJones]

7:02 Oddly quiet?? Sounds like trauma to me. I speak from personal experience when I say to get him into therapy. Poor kids.

[@hilaryc3203]

Violence can escalate after a break up so just because he's out of the house, doesn't mean they are safe. It would be nice if she lived in a region that would give free therapy for herself and her little boy.

[@judyd6576]

Boy oh boy. My husband would be spending the next 10 hours trying to glue his computer and gaming system together.

[@jaredstar]

The 8-year-old is a far far far far better man than his father who truthfully would do the will of favor if he wasn't in it

[@dizzysdoings]

First story, my son is 6 years older than his sister. The ONLY time he ever cared for his little sister was when I was sick as a dog and hubby couldn't get off work. He changed her diaper, gave her a bottle, etc. Yes, I spent a lot of time sleeping. But the door wasn't locked. Don't recall now if I closed the door. He knew that if there was something he couldn't handle, I was there. If I had been worse, I would have called either mine or my husband's parents. But with me there, he was able to handle it.

[@ednitamorales]

Wow, lucky dad, he gets to have no responsibilities 🤣 what a clown. Hugs for you momma, and to your babies ❤️❤️

[@BankruptMonkey]

Her only mistake in story 1 was not being a medium/fortune teller. How was she supposed to know her loving caring husband was secretly abusive, or that he would become a drug user down the road or whatever the cause for his huge change in temperament?

[@mommieminnesota3108]

That first story oh boy OP u are making the right choice honey,good luck to u and your baby.

[@earlinejackson8151]

First op needs to at the least file a police report, better yet, have him arrested for child abuse, child endangerment, criminal neglect. And anything else the prosecutor can dream up.

[@HoneyBakedHamlet]

The only difference between the OP's soon-to-be ex and my ex's past behaviour with my own children is that he wouldn't have apologised.

[@natsukifan8736]

You know SMT? The comment about the now ex doing drugs might not be so far off. Like even if you were tired af unless you stayed two days awake and work your ass off it isn't normal for an adult to sleep 10 hours continued while people band the door and try to get them to respond. Also the way he became aggressive supports this idea. Tbh if I was op I would ask for a drug test because it wouldn't surprise me if he's doing SMT hars like meth

[@jimmiedmc1]

I never would have thought to threaten neglect charges

[@SuperLadyDanger]

I'm not even a full minute into the 1st story & I feel so bad for those sweet babies!! The 8 y/o son clearly takes his big brother duties seriously & must've been terrified & frantic to feed his baby sister. Barring an extreme sacrifice like making kidnappers take you & keep the kids safe from a violent tragic demise, there's no justifying having left the kids to fend for themselves!

[@jadedfox7177]

The thing with story 1 is that a safe person and a covert narcissist look exactly the same for the first few years

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 1: He needs to go, it doesn't matter where. But he needs to be out of that house and away from those kids. 10 hours without any type of Parental Guidance?! No food, water, check ins, diper changes or at bare minimum check if they are breathing?! You locked the door so the children couldn't enter in case they needed you?! That little man is a hero in my eyes, to go above and beyond for your sibling like that. He didn't know how to do anything but tried everything to help her.

[@Telenaus]

well i hope she still doing ok i really hope shes doing awesome, she says the 1st update isnt that happy, but she was able to make it that makes it a happy update to me.

[@Kyman102]

"Who's making comments like *Oh it's your fault for having kids with a deadbeat*?" I mean I listen to a lot of these videos and r/AITA posts and I see a lot of posts going "Why didn't you immediately spot this one tiny red flag six years ago and know it would lead to here?" Edit: Holy crap, that... That's not a NORMAL reaction. Like, that's someone with SERIOUS anger issues. Story 2: "Give us your better room! What? You're not immediately obeying us by giving us the better room on YOUR honeymoon? You're not being respectful!" - Wow, what terrible grandparents. If they don't like it, they can go back home and miss out on this FREE TRIP TO BORA GODDAMN BORA

[@HonorWillow]

Poor 8 year old kid trying to desparately look after themselves and the baby :( That angel deserves the world. OP should call the police on the dad and get them to remove him and start the custody battle because they NEED proof that this happened and abusive dad needs OUT

[@iyaayas]

Story 2: Need to remember the culture the Grandparents came from. They did that for their grandparents, their parents got it, they expect it from theor children and grandchildren. If what I said is true as it seems from my non-asian perspective, they're not being hypocrites with their demands. The culture has changed and this is a slap in the face to them. OP is not the jerk and should respectfully stand firm. Don't let a tantrum sway her.

[@S730SD]

Story 2: Grandparents are an embarrassment for behaving like spoiled children. I would have made them go home on their own dime with a no-contact order stuck in their ear. Respect is something you earn -- they deserve contempt.

[@83gemm]

I. Would. Be. In. Prison. As soon as he said, “What do you want?” I’d have just blacked out. Basically the line from Chicago, “It wasn’t until later -when I was washing the blood off my hands - I even knew” he was dead! I’ve heard some deadbeat parent stories on here but sweet Jesus this one wins. “I thought they ate before you left.” TEN HOURS AGO?! Actually more than that because it was a ten hour shift, so depending on how long her commute is- ok. I’m so angry for her. And did he not get up to use the bathroom for TEN HOURS? Oh my god. That poor baby. That poor darling eight-year-old. OP is a saint just for avoiding murder.

[@edo0girl2.03]

HOW THE FUCK DOES SOMEONE SLEEP FOR 10 HOURS STRAIGHT WHEN THEY HAVE CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE THAT THEY'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR?!!! The man's eight year old is more responsible than him! HE EVEN LOCKED THE BEDROOM DOOR!!! What if there was an emergency?! And all he had to say was, "I thought you fed them before you left." THAT WAS TEN HOURS AGO!!!! Even if OP did feed them before she left they would obviously get hungry again! Then there's him not checking on them AT ALL! Not changing his baby's diaper! Not even getting up to check on them when his baby was screaming probably for hours! What?! Did he have earplugs in?! Was he blasting music?! HOW DO YOU SLEEP THROUGH A BABY SCREAMING IN DISTRESS?!!! Even if he felt like he really needed sleep, he could've done what normal parents do and slept when the baby did! Sorry about the rant. This pissed me off. I'm glad OP left his stupid ass.

[@tartlynerdy]

Story 1 - 🥺 Awh. Op is raising a good boy trying his best to be a good older brother to his baby sister. That was so wholesome. The husband letting the children go hungry for ten hours? Nah. Good on op for wanting to leave him. If op punched this man in the face I wouldn't have blamed her. "My bad" is not an acceptable response. "It was a mistake" is no excuse either. I'm so glad op was recording this man child sized temper tantrum. Story 2 - NTA. It sound like everyone was tired of the grandparents' entitled crap. Who the hell even complains on an all expense paid vacation anyways? Spoiled brats complain on an all expense paid vacation. I love op's shiny spine.

[@dylanking7403]

One of the commenters said exactly what I was thinking in the first story: the husband sounds like there is drug or alcohol abuse going on.

[@sequoyasierra5671]

STORY 1 This is the first time he neglected the kids like this." That OP knows of, that is. Sorry OP that this happened. As for him thinking the kids were fed before OP left? What about the other 7 hours after that meal wears off?

[@indiashante1560]

Story 1: I'd be livid if I came home to that! I'm so sad for the 8 y/o because she definitely will remember this. I'm glad Opie was strong enough to know all this was wrong, smart enough to record him, and press charges against his crazy @$$! Story 2: absolutely TF not. The entitlement is wild! Smh If her husband's grandparents don't have a villa what makes them so special? Choosing beggars. I'd tell them bye and enjoy their flight home.

[@jonb338]

The mum should teach the 8 yr old how to do some or all of the things he tried to but couldn't do that day. Not because he might be in that position again and not because she wants him to help out with the baby but it will go a long way towards making him feel less helpless.

[@CanonSkyrissian]

story 2: if I got a free all expenses paid vacation in a nice bungalow in bora bora, the last thing I'd do is complain. you can dip directly into the ocean from some bungalows! hell yeah I'd love that! op is nta and her grandparents can step on legos.

[@NicoleChorney]

Hubby in Story 1 doesn't have issues, he has full subscriptions that she won't be able to cancel so she's doing the right thing and canceling him.

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

Change the locks, get an order of protection, get counseling for that kids. Now. Don't wait. This will scar him. The episode with the extreme neglect will scar him.

[@mrbadguysan]

Story 2 wanted the two sides of the family to get to know each other. Mission Accomplished.

[@LisaApril]

Story one: from what I understand, in these domestic violence cases the perpetrator is put in jail but is usually released the next day. Rather than cleaning the house first thing, she should get all his stuff together and take it to his father’s house and tell his father what happened. She will be OK if he did not have his keys with him, but if he did she needs to talk to the landlord about the DV and I believe The landlord would be obligated to change the locks. This lady did the right thing, and she showed her children there’s nothing more important than their safety.

[@nadirimyers6643]

With the first story: I’d fr call the police on him. Like he’d wake up to the police arresting him

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

Get full custody and supervised visitation once a month.

[@ChasehaWing]

Story 1: PARTNER should leave. Kick him out. Call the police if he refuses to leave and say exactly what happened. Than a lawyer for emergency custody and a seperation order. This man could have killed his baby. I'm not even in the realms of kidding. Newbown babies tend to eat every 3 hours from what I'm heard. The filled diaper probably lead to a rash. If the 8 year old kicked her up and dropped her by accident (not saying he did just that he could if he tried to feed her) she could have been injured. Heck babies can die for any number of sudden reasons, they are incredibly delicate. He has proven to be a danger to this family. He can not be a part of it anymore.

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Story 2: Ah yes, the grandparents are channeling some Ming dynasty energy. Dang goofs.

[@nachyocheeze9348]

Child: accidentally stubs toe Absolutely no one: Reddit: *THEY NEED THERAPY!*

[@jman12g73]

Story one pre update, I am so pissed. I showed my partner the thumbnail and we were both instantly like if either of us did that to our child they would be gone. Like wtf. And what if the poor baby would’ve choked, because of the dad’s inaction or 10 hours of sitting in filth. My heart goes out to this poor woman and her kids, because this man is worse than a deadbeat.

[@jman12g73]

After the update the mom did the right thing and he showed his true colors. A raging man child who would hit his partner and destroy his own things. I really hope she can find a dv support group or something. This breaks my heart. That ahole deserves to rot. Anyone that would ruin the place where THEIR kids are meant to stay are fricking scum.

[@elisejackson2854]

I mean having the second child with him is honestly her fucking up but I’m glad she left.

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 - NTA You paid for the trip. Period. Unless you pay for a home that is not accessible, they can piss off.

[@magnarcreed3801]

What’s most crazy about story one is that some people will still say that the father deserves to be in their life and that single moms are the issues.

[@1cannedpeaches]

The 8 year old giving his sibling potato chips is pretty cute but the situation is so sad

[@AZUREPHOENIX777]

Story 1: Kind of pissed that OP is having to pay to replace all the shit that her husband broke. Why isn't he paying for the damage he caused?

[@emilybarclay8831]

You expect the sort of man who’s willing to die of starvation (a baby of that age can survive around 12 hours without food before damage sets in) would pay for things he broke?

[@MsMookalate]

@@emilybarclay8831 this. Your comment⤴️

[@mikeremski2102]

bora bora: I'd pack up in the middle of the night with hubby and just leave. Next day everyone else can fight over the villa.